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Risking Everything for You

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-Adena POV-

I walk into the hotel room after a long day of exploring St. Paul while Kate had to work. I come down the short hallway to see Kat asleep on the bed. I smile, admiring how peaceful she looks. I remove my hijab as I make my way towards the bed, trying not to wake her. As careful as I was, I see her begin to stir, “Hi,” she says, her voice thick with sleep, “when did you get back?”

“Just now, how was your nap?” I chime.

“It was nice, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her softly, “is it bad to say I missed you today?”

“No,” she smiles, shaking her head, “I missed you too.”

“Nice to see we’re on the same page.”

“How was your exploration of the city?” She asks, sitting up in bed and rubbing her eyes.

“It was fun. I’m happy I decided to come with you.”

“You mean, force your will,” Kat laughs.

“However we want to define it,” I shrug. Kat looks at me curiously for a moment.

“Do you love me?” She asks quietly.

“At this point in time, I’m not too sure. Can I see myself being in love with you? Of course.”

“Okay,” she nods.

“Okay? That’s all I get?”

“I’m just processing the idea of us. If you can see yourself being in love with me, I think that’s enough to assure me that this is a real thing.”

“It is,” I nod.

“Okay.”

“I want to be with you. I have wanted to be with you, there isn’t a lack of feeling the way I do when it comes to the feelings I have. That doesn’t make sense, I just want this and that’s all that should matter.”

“It does matter. All of this matters, we both want the same thing for the most part.”

“Okay,” I smile, taking her hand in mine, playing with her fingers, “do you want to get dinner?”

“How does room service sound? I want to shower and put on sweatpants.”

“That’s fine with me,” I smile, leaning in to kiss her softly, “go shower, what do you want?”

“Some kind of pasta, surprise me.”

“Is there anything you don’t like?”

“No, I’m not picky. Get whatever you want too,” Kat says, standing up and stretching her arms over her head.

 

-Kat POV-

I walk out of the bathroom in only a towel, walking over to my suitcase to get something to wear. I turn and see Adena staring at me, watching every move I make with her head cocked to the side, “the towel isn’t going to fall if that's what you’re wishing,” I tease, causing Adena to sit up straighter than before.

“I was just admiring your beauty.”

“So my ass?”

“I have no shame,” she smiles.

“I know you don’t, you never do,” I say, taking my clothes back into the bathroom to get dressed. I come back to see Adena was getting up from the bed, “my turn,” she smiles, walking towards the bathroom, “room service should be here soon,” she adds, kissing my cheek before disappearing in the bathroom. She reappears a bit later, dressed in pajama shorts and a tank top. She smiles, making her way over to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Just wondering,” she shrugs as she begins brushing her hair.

“Are you using this as like a test to see how well we are together?”

“That seems like a question I should be asking you.”

“I know, but I’m still really trying to figure out what this is.”

“Are you really going to spend the next couple of days being skeptical?” Adena chimes, getting up when there was a knock at the door. She walks back in with our dinner, placing on the bed between us, “I just want you to know that I do care for you very much, and I want this to be a serious thing. There isn’t anything else I want.”

“I know, you say that all the time.”

“I’ll say it a thousand times if it means you’ll believe me and just go with it. I don’t think you realize that. I don’t think you really understand how much I care for you, and how much I want to just make this work.”

“But.”

“But you’re always going to have doubt. Kat, I don’t want you to have doubt anymore. I want you to understand that,” Adena says, taking my hand in hers, “I want the next couple of days spent with you being assured that I want this to work out more than anything. And if it takes this middle of nowhere state to bring us together, then so be it.”

“I’ll stop whining for the next couple of days,” I sigh, watching as Adena smiles.

“Thank you,” she chimes, leaning in and kissing me.


“It was nice being with you these past few days,” Adena chimes as we stand at baggage claim, waiting patiently, “I’m happy I pushed my will,” she smiles.

“I’m kind of happy too,” I tease, laughing at the face Adena makes.

“Kind of?”

“I’m happy you came with me,” I smile, leaning in and kissing her softly, “it was a lot nice than going on my own.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

“I have a few meetings this week, I had to move some things around when I decided to go with you.”

“So you’re busy the rest of the week.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, taking my hand in hers, “I mean it.”

“It’s okay, we both have to work,” I chime, reaching for my bag when I see it, “I’m going to go.”

“Just wait, we’re going the same way.”

“I’m not going home, I’m going to Sutton’s,” I lied.

“She’s not far from me, we’ll share,” Adena says, reaching for her bag.

“No, it’s fine, I’ll talk to you later,” I say, kissing her cheek before walking away, getting into the first cab I saw.


“So you just left her at JFK?” Sutton asks, walking over to where I was sat on my couch.

“Yep.”

“And what did she do?” Jane asks.

“Nothing, as far as I know. She hasn’t even tried to call me since yesterday, but she made the point in telling me she was going to be busy the rest of the week. I don’t know how to handle her, I don’t know if she’s genuine or not. I don’t understand how she operates, how her mind works. It’s hard to really know,” I shrug, looking down at the floor.

“Maybe you’re looking at it in a weird way. Maybe she is genuine, and you’re just overreacting because of the circumstances that are between you,” Jane says.

“You actually sound logical with that explanation.”

“You have to give her a chance, give the situation a chance.”

“I have been. We went away together, I know it wasn’t like we went to Europe or something, I was working most of the time, and it was middle America, but still. She talked about what she wants this to be, and how she wants us to be, and then we get back and she brushes it all off by saying she has to work all week. I’ve never felt this way before.”

“We know, you’re giving yourself whiplash,” Jane says, walking over to the kitchen, helping herself to some wine. All of a sudden my phone starts ringing.

“It’s Adena,” I say, looking at the screen.

“Why not answer it?”

“If you don’t, you’re the pain in the ass who can’t make up her mind, more so than Adena is.”

“Hey,” I say, answering the phone.

“I didn’t think you were going to answer,” Adena says timidly.

“Why would you think that?”

“I know I upset you with what I said.” I get up, making my way upstairs to my closet, sitting on the floor in the corner.

“There was nothing to be upset about, we’re adults, we both have to work.”

“Kat…”

“What?”

“This isn’t going to be easy, is it?” I feel myself shake my head before responding.

“No, it isn’t,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Is there something you aren’t telling me, something that could explain why you are this way?”

“Are you out for my job?” I tease, smiling when I hear her laugh come through the other end.

“I won’t enjoy it as much as mine, but if it works. Are you going to tell me what it is that bothers you about all of this?”

“I don’t know the answer to that.”

“Can we work to figure out what that answer will be?”

“I don’t know what there is to work out. This is just something I haven’t done before, and I don’t know how to handle things.”

“I’m here to help you through it, that’s what being in a relationship is,” Adena explains with a sigh, “I want to make this work with you so bad, I don’t know how to control it.”

“Have you ever had feelings for someone like you have for me?”

“Never.”

“Not even Coco?”

“No. Not even Coco. If I loved Coco at all, I don’t think I would even be with you.”

“We’re going to be tugging back and forth a lot.”

“I’m ready for it, we’ve been doing it for a while already. Over a year,” she says.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for if you’re willing to finally let me in.”

“I’ll try to. I promise.”

“Don’t make a promise you aren’t willing to keep.”

“I’m not, but I know that I want to really try and make this work. There is just something stopping me and I want to work it out and get over it,” I explain, playing with the corner of the rug.

“Well, next time I see you, you can wear my camera around your neck and pretend to be me, and I’ll make sure I have a nice pair of gold-rimmed glasses and I’ll pretend to be you,” she teases.

“Okay,” I laugh, “we’ll see if that works.”

“I look forward to it.”