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Do you still feel no pain?

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Their relationship had been in this way since Moshe came back to Egypt.

‘Do you still feel no pain?’ was the first question Moshe asked him when he arrived at the front door of the synagogue, 9 years after the first and last time they met.


Joshua was silent. He was surprised by the fact that the man recognizes him.

Before he could answer anything, his father told him to bring the man’s horse to the stable. It looked tired from crossing the desert.

As well as its rider.

Moshe rested for a half day in a cell behind the synagogue. The mattress was soft, but not that clean. The man looked exhausted.

His father told him to bring food and water to the man. They had a chance to talk again.

Then, that kind of relationship began.

When he let the other man know that he felt pain

And he liked it.


He mostly let Moshe start and be the leader, because he was always the one who followed. It wasn’t about being beaten or lashed to get some physical wounds. Moshe wouldn’t allow that to happen since there is no use of it.

Sometimes, Moshe just grabbed him thigh on the floor, that was enough to made him feel uncomfortable.

Each time, he just wanted a few bruises and some scars.

Just a feeling of being oppressed, in the way he fully accepted it. Unlike of being lashed by an Egyptian soldier.

Moshe said it was just some leisure activities.

But he still doubted if they both got real pleasure from those activities.

Because it was always only him who asked for more.




They had time to be alone together once a week. It was the day that people go to bed early due to fasting, praying and a long day of slavery.

At a cliff, above the river bank of the Nile, not far from the training ground, was a place where nobody would go in the evening. Here, stood a small tent.

It was another day that Moshe looked tired. Perhaps, it was because of some arguments at the meeting about aggression on Egypt government. The one who disputed with him was Aaron.

Joshua knew it, he was also there.

And at the meeting, he agreed with Aaron.

Even though Moshe always had a sensible reason to argue with them. Even though he was the most experienced man and the most important, who was once had been an Egyptian military leader.

But when his people disagree. The leader learned to withdraw.

After the meeting, people went back to their job, to prepare food and pray. He approached Moshe, and brought him here.

It’s not often that Moshe got much stressed in front of the Hebrews

and showed how much disadvantageous he was, like this.

Joshua just wanted to know how this affect their secret activities.

Moshe sat down on the wool mattress, which was odd. The man always the one standing in-command and ordered Joshua. It usually began with ordering the boy to kneel.

But today, he sat still.

“You look tired.” Joshua pointed.

“Yes” the man admitted.

But at least, Moshe agreed to be here with him

Joshua bent his head down to shorten their distance. His blue eyes glanced upon that weary body in front of him.

“Do you want to try it?”

Those dark eyes looked back in confused “Try what?”

Joshua didn’t answer. His blue eyes still stared.

Then he moved his body closer and pushed the man to laid down on the floor.

Moshe gave him an unsure look, but didn’t reject it.

Joshua prepared him to ready and thrusted himself in, before the man let out a cry.

Maybe this was the first time he saw this man in pain.

It was an expression he never saw before.

Joshua handled his face to make him look into the boy’s eyes gently.

His nails were pinching into the mattress.

“Put your hand on me” the boy commanded.

Moshe did it. He grabbed Joshua’s shoulder.

Then the boy’s move got more harsh

Until the man’s nails dig into his flesh.

Joshua bent himself down, close enough for them to felt each other’s breath.

His palm laid on the man’s face, his finger pushed through his lips.

The boy thrusted himself hard again, while feeling the pain on his hand and shoulder.

“It’s hurt, isn’t it?”

The man nodded.

Joshua never left any trace on the man’s body like this.

Finally, Joshua let out a moan.

When he finished, he drew back.

There was a stain of blood on Moshe’s fingertips.

And blood red teeth marks on Joshua’s hand.

Moshe still laid down. Breathe hard. Didn’t said anything.

Joshua moved closer again. His wounded hand pat on the other man’s face slightly.

Maybe he still felt no pain after all.