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Sad Millenials Make a Group Chat

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fish bros (and jeff), 3:02 a.m.


ethel-reincarnated: benji how do i access the deep web???

ethel-reincarnated: BENJI HOW

benjaminfranklin: esther.

ethel-reincarnated: ...yes?

benjaminfranklin: it is THREE IN THE MORNING.

jeff has muted the chat

ethel-reincarnated: JEFFREY NOOO

ethel-reincarnated: nvm we dont need him

benjaminfranklin: GO TO SLEEP YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!

ethel-reincarnated: HOW DO I ACCESS THE DEEP WEB??!!!

benjaminfranklin: esther. the deep web is actually, like. very dangerous.

benjaminfranklin: if the government sees you search for it repeatedly they'll literally flag you.

ethel-reincarnated: sounds fake but okay,,,?

benjaminfranklin: esther seriously go to sleep

benjaminfranklin: i don't have the time or energy for this

ethel-reincarnated: you dont have the time or energy for ANYTHING

ethel-reincarnated: & i cant sleep so screw off

benjaminfranklin: something wrong?

ethel-reincarnated: msg me on private


alone together, 3:05 a.m.


benjaminfranklin: what's up?

ethel-reincarnated: i keep thinking about how awful of a person i am and its really upsetting

benjaminfranklin: 1) big mood 2) you're not an awful person. you're just kinda lame.

ethel-reincarnated: gee thanks

benjaminfranklin: kidding. i mean, i think you're cool, but i'm a loser too.

benjaminfranklin: is that it?

benjaminfranklin: esther??

ethel-reincarnated: i'm being evicted.

benjaminfranklin: whoa

benjaminfranklin: esther... you know you can just crash at my place, right?

ethel-reincarnated: your brother hates me

benjaminfranklin: he hates everyone.

ethel-reincarnated: you hate me sometimes too

benjaminfranklin: ... no comment

ethel-reincarnated: ouch.

benjaminfranklin: i'm kiDDING

benjaminfranklin: you can stay with us for however long you need though. seriously.

benjaminfranklin: when do you have to be out of the apt.?

ethel-reincarnated: tomorrow at 5

benjaminfranklin: jesus

benjaminfranklin: need help moving?

ethel-reincarnated: actually, yeah. i have way too much crap.

benjaminfranklin: also, were you seriously just not going to tell me this? like what was your plan before i swooped in?

ethel-reincarnated: id hardly say you "swooped in",,,

ethel-reincarnated: && i was planning to just crash w your crazy cat friend?? yr supplier?

benjaminfranklin: 1) ew 2) stop saying "&&" it's like a stutter in texting and i Hate it

ethel-reincarnated: i know, its why i do it >:)

benjaminfranklin: will you go to sleep now??? this is Not healthy,,,,

ethel-reincarnated: i cant im worried about the babadook

benjaminfranklin: jesus esther

benjaminfranklin: we've been over this, HE'S NOT REAL

ethel-reincarnated: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!!!

benjaminfranklin: go to sleep you idiot

ethel-reincarnated: oooo i thought u didnt careee about little ol me~~~

benjaminfranklin: stop.

benjaminfranklin: do i find you annoying? yes.

benjaminfranklin: but i care about you nonetheless.

ethel-reincarnated: SOFT BENJI EMERGES


benjaminfranklin: NO STOP!

benjaminfranklin: THEY'LL KNOW I HAVE FEELINGS!!

ethel-reincarnated: come over and watch daria with me or im sending this whole conversation to your brother

benjaminfranklin: you're a witch.

ethel-reincarnated: <3




fancy mansion buddies, 4:32 a.m.


benjaminfranklin has added ethel-reincarnated to the chat

ethel-reincarnated: YES YES YES

ethel-reincarnated: wait is your brother here?

rapunzel: Unfortunately. Benji, WHY DID YOU CHANGE MY NAME and WHY did you put Esther in this chat at FOUR IN THE MORNING?!

ethel-reincarnated: ...oh no

benjaminfranklin: 1) it's hilarious 2) esther got evicted so now she'll be a permanent resident at our place

rapunzel: I did NOT agree to this.

ethel-reincarnated: I'LL WORK FOR YOU!!

benjaminfranklin: she will!

rapunzel: ...Fine.

ethel-reincarnated: YES YES YES

benjaminfranklin: anyway i'm helping esther pack now so we'll be home around 8 tonight

rapunzel: It'll take you that long?

ethel-reincarnated: i own a lot of materialistic items :3

benjaminfranklin: STOP WITH THAT FACE

benjaminfranklin: YOU KNOW I HATE IT

rapunzel has muted the chat

ethel-reincarnated: im still thinking about the babadook......,,,

benjaminfranklin: maybe if you help me pack YOUR STUFF it'll take your mind off of it

ethel-reincarnated: f i n e

benjaminfranklin: seriously esther you have, like, three manual hand-mixers and you don't even cook.

ethel-reincarnated: i actually dont know where those came from!! so screw off!

banjaminfranklin: oh yeah? well maybe they belong to the RANDOM STRANGERS you let into your home! you're like, the size of a 12 year old, one of those people could be a total creep and they'd be able to hurt you because you're literally 99 pounds!

ethel-reincarnated: calm downnn that wont even be a problem anymore because after today ill be living with you and your rich hot asshole brother :)

benjaminfranklin: okay, true. now help me move these boxes.



benjaminfranklin: after i'm done with this mess i'm getting you on Hoarders,, this is ridiculous

ethel-reincarnated: so is your username

benjaminfranklin: you named yourself after a dead old woman you didn't even know. you don't have the right to go there.

ethel-reincarnated: touché