Chapter Text
IN THE SILENCE OF HIS ROOM, taehyung could clearly hear his brother rummaging around in his own room right next door. currently, taehyung was lounging on his bed, staring at his laptop. initially he had opened it to start up a movie, but after being indecisive for ten minutes on what to watch, he chose to just stare at the black screen. it was lazy hour for him.
it was way past midnight, and taehyung didn’t have class the next morning. so staring at his own unresponsive face in the reflection of his laptop screen sounded reasonable. he found it amusing how he would move his head a little, and his glasses would reflect light right back at his laptop screen.
taehyung had that kind of room that put you in a mellow mood if you had nothing to do. with his random anime posters plastered on his walls, to his collection of video games near his computer, and even the cute, little ghost lamp neatly arranged on his bedside table, it was no wonder that something so simple as staring at his own blank reflection on his laptop screen kept him content.
“i’m busy,” taehyung muttered when he suddenly heard a knock on his bedroom door.
but in the next second, his door was opened and in stepped taehyung’s younger brother, taewon.
he was younger, yeah, but taewon was much taller. his features were also sharper than taehyung’s, a chiseled jawline where taehyung’s was softer. he never failed to tease taehyung about it, how taewon had a toned body and long limbs that made him great at playing basketball, while taehyung would rather choose to game away on his computer while eating chips out of a bag. taehyung didn’t care, he had come to love the soft areas of his tummy.
“i said i was busy, taewon.”
his brother rolled his eyes at him and then continued to walk into the room, closing the door behind him. “we both know that’s a lie. anyway, i’m going to a party so if mom or dad wake up, cover for me,” began taewon.
“party?” taehyung repeated. “it’s a school night,” his gaze sharpened on taewon’s current choice of clothing. he was wearing his going out clothes.
taewon ignored him and then proceeded to taehyung’s dresser where a mirror hung on the wall. taehyung watched with an unamused expression on his face as his brother started fixing his hair, dark and short on top unlike taehyung’s that was dyed a light brown and long enough that he had to sweep his fringe away from his eyes. good looking was the term that their entire high school used to describe his brother.
back when taehyung was in his second to last year of high school, taewon had just started his first year and was already the talk of the school.
his little brother had the looks and the talent, making varsity on the basketball team his first year which had sealed taewon’s reputation for the rest of his high school career. taehyung would admit that he had been more than a little bitter at how well liked he was, the kid always had a posse of guys and girls around him in the halls, always got invited to the parties—not that taehyung cared for parties.
it was just that taewon was his little brother, only two years apart but everyone had treated him as if taehyung was the younger sibling. people were always surprised to hear that taewon was in fact the younger of the two. i didn’t even know taewon had an older brother… the star athlete at school and the baby of the household. his parents would never admit to it, they’d always deny it if taehyung ever brought it up, but taehyung knew how loved taewon was by his parents. a favorite child always existed in a family.
taehyung, well he’d had the grades to get into a good school after he graduated, and when his acceptance letter had come from the university of seoul, the short burst of pride that came from his parents at the great news was well depleted when he told them what he wanted to major in.
graphic design. oh, the horror that had shown on his parents’ faces. he didn’t want to be an engineer like his parents wanted, he was too passionate about art to ever consider the field. taehyung hadn’t cared, the university had offered him a scholarship with how exceptional his grades were and he absolutely took it. they lived in seoul, and the school wasn’t far so taehyung still lived at home as he went to his classes. he was in his second year of college, and now taewon was in his last year of high school.
eighteen years old, captain of the varsity basketball team, and charming good looks were all things that taewon had going for him.
“the hell does it matter that it’s a school night?” retorted taehyung’s little brother.
if taehyung was taller and had more muscles, he so would have throttled taewon by now. his jaw tightened; through his teeth, taehyung answered, “i’m not covering for you. if your ass gets caught, then so be it.”
taewon turned back around facing him, rolling his eyes, he bit back, “cover for me and i’ll do your laundry for two weeks.”
taehyung’s eyes narrowed, looking at taewon carefully, he demanded, “make it a month.”
“fine, a month, whatever,” taewon agreed, then he started walking closer to the door.
“wait, where’s the party at?” as annoying as his brother could be, taehyung still cared for his wellbeing.
“the university.”
that made taehyung close his laptop shut. he knew what party taewon was talking about now, some students in one of his classes had mentioned it earlier that day. “why are you going to a college party?” he asked in a loud whisper.
taewon gave him a look that said the answer was obvious, “to get with college guys...”
“you don’t even know any college guys,” snorted taehyung.
“says you. anyway, i’m leaving now.”
“don’t stay out too late.” taehyung told him in a stern voice, but taewon was already out the door.
THE NEXT DAY, AFTER TAEHYUNG HAD FALLEN ASLEEP to some reruns of an old korean drama show—only after making sure he had heard taewon come home safely later that night, he had gone to jimin’s dorm before his class of the day. hoseok was already there, which wasn’t surprising at all to taehyung, they were inseparable these days.
they were all in the same year, and as the semester had recently started, jimin was sprawled on the floor double checking that he had done all his homework so far, while hoseok was practicing some dance moves off to the side.
“guess who i saw taewon with last night?”
taehyung turned his attention to hoseok, he groaned trying to show his displeasure at the question. he was comfortably sitting on jimin’s bed and he didn’t want be disturbed. “honestly, i’d rather not know.”
hoseok answered his own question though, “jeon jeongguk.” he said it in a tone that made the new found information sound juicy.
“i’m not surprised, taewon can get anyone,” jimin said while flipping through some papers.
“jeongguk?” taehyung repeated the name. it sounded familiar but he couldn’t pin a face to the name.
“yeah, you know him,” replied hoseok once he stopped practicing to reach for his water bottle. “he was in our biochem class freshman year, remember?”
now taehyung remembered. jeon jeongguk was this rather attractive looking guy who usually kept to himself. everyone on campus knew him, if you didn’t know the name, you still knew the face. taehyung would see him leaving a building just as he was walking into one. from what he knew of jeongguk, the guy was well liked, both in and out of the classroom. he vaguely called to mind a time where his biochem professor identified jeongguk as his star pupil. he only remembered because taehyung had sat behind him in class that day and saw the way he ducked his head in embarrassment at the professor’s comment.
“now i remember, yeah,” recalled taehyung. “what was he doing with taewon?”
“talking,” hoseok shrugged his shoulders, “getting to know one another.”
taehyung grimaced when hoseok started to wiggle his eyebrows, insinuating that a lot more than just talking happened between them. “i can’t believe that little shit actually got with someone last night, at a college party too,” spoke taehyung. “he’s so annoying, did i tell you guys that he made me cover his ass so he could sneak out and go to that party?”
jimin and hoseok looked at him, waiting for him to continue.
“he’s so lucky that i didn’t tell my parents, they’re already on his ass about his coach telling them that he’s failing one of his classes,” persisted taehyung. “it would’ve been so fucking good to see the look on his face as my parents yelled at him,” taehyung’s head tilted to the side, picturing the ordeal happen in his head with a wide grin on his face.
“oh but you’re such a good, big brother, taehyungie!” teased jimin while using his best baby voice.
rolling his eyes, taehyung playfully flicked him off as both jimin and hoseok laughed at his distress. “i’m serious guys!” whined taehyung. “high school gave him a big head, he thinks he can do anything. i can’t wait till he graduates and no one will care for him in college.”
frankly, he wasn’t too sure about that last point. taewon was a very likable guy, and he’d most likely be playing basketball for the school so he’d still have that popularity that came along with the sport. everyone was just so far up his ass that it gave taewon a superior complex and taehyung was just so sick of it.
“i wonder what that jeongguk guy even sees in my brother,” mumbled taehyung.
“his ass probably, i don’t know,” hoseok snickered.
taehyung grumbled then, claiming he had the worst friends while standing up straight and leaning over to give both hoseok and jimin a kiss on their foreheads. i gotta go to class, bye bye!
AFTER TAEHYUNG HAD FINISHED all his classes for the day, he continued his routine by going to the library. there he always brought along his tablet so he could do his graphic design assignments. most of the time, he did some of his best work at the campus library, listening to music in his headphones, minding his own business while students around him fed off of caffeine and tried to study or better yet, procrastinate as they pretended to study.
but today of all days, it just had to be packed. his usual spot was already taken; the comfy couches were his go to spot whenever he came here. instead he had to sit at one of the tables near the back which taehyung found annoying because what the hell was it with college students using up a whole table to themselves, tables that could easily seat at least five people. but whatever, he wasn’t going to break the cycle as he himself sat alone.
taehyung was in the middle of drawing an arm when someone sat down next to him. he didn’t bother to look who it was, too preoccupied on shading the elbow just right. their professor had told them to focus on anatomy for the assignment since they’d be working on a bigger project later in the semester that involved drawing a body. which taehyung was thankful for because truly, drawing the human body was the most aggravating thing ever and he needed the practice.
minutes went by as taehyung was focused on his drawing, there were finger smudges all over his fancy tablet and his hand was starting to ache from gripping his stylus pen. he was content with his work so far, a good song was playing through his headphones and he thought it was time for a well-deserved break.
so just as he had leaned back in his chair to stretch his body—extending his arms out, curving his spine while making a little o shape with his mouth from the pleasure—the pen that he set down on the table started rolling towards the edge between him and the person next to him. taehyung only noticed because he suddenly saw a quick movement next to him and there he was... the guy he had just been talking about earlier.
jeongguk was holding his stylus pen, he had effortlessly grabbed it before it even had the chance of hitting the ground. taehyung was so shocked that he froze up, he completely missed what jeongguk was saying to him.
“i’m sorry?” taehyung asked while yanking his earbuds out, silencing the music.
“i said ‘here you go’,” repeated jeongguk, softly chuckling as he placed taehyung’s pen safely next to his tablet.
“oh,” gawked taehyung, “thank you.”
jeongguk nodded and turned back to his own school work leaving taehyung to wonder what the hell just happened. it was almost laughable how the universe worked. literally just hours ago, jeongguk was the topic of conversation with hoseok and jimin and now here taehyung was, sitting right next to him. taehyung’s eyes narrowed as he tried to discreetly get a good look at jeongguk. he was definitely taewon’s type, that was for sure. he looked like he had an athlete’s build, presumably a baseball player from the cap he was wearing backwards on his head.
it seemed that jeongguk was working on an essay, taehyung could see the heading clearly on his laptop screen along with the title, physical therapy and me. it was also the only thing the poor guy had typed of his essay so far, which made taehyung’s face form an amused smile. jeongguk had his notes out in front of him but his fingers kept skimming over the keyboard like he had no idea how to put his thoughts into words.
it was almost endearing in a way, but taehyung quickly wiped that thought from his mind.
eventually, taehyung had only stayed at the library for another twenty minutes before deciding to leave. he wanted to say it had more to do with the fact that he had finished his assignment rather than jeongguk’s presence kind of freaking him out. it wasn’t that jeongguk was doing anything weird, it was just that he remembered taewon, his little brother, had most likely fooled around with him. and the image of them making out kept popping into his head, and yeah, he was very disgusted.
<<guess who sat next to me at the library ㅋㅋ
taehyung had texted the group chat he had with jimin and hoseok as he left the library. he then rolled his eyes when hoseok answered with, ‘the pope? :o’ and jimin’s reply to that was, ‘nice one hobi’ with the unamused face emoji at the end. not wanting anymore of hoseok’s wild guesses flooding his phone, he quickly typed and sent jeongguk’s name, simple as that.
he didn’t wait for their replies as he was walked to the bus station near the school campus. something about leaving them on edge was amusing to taehyung.
when he finally got home, he was met with taewon in the kitchen who was making a sandwich. it was one of his brother’s rituals after practice, or whatever the hell taewon liked to call it. now well, taewon always liked to show off his accomplishments, his room was filled with the trophies he earned from playing basketball so well, and the hickeys that littered his neck and collarbones was another achievement added to that list it seemed.
“classy,” remarked taehyung, “you better hide those from mom and dad when they get home from work.”
taewon looked up, still in his practice jersey from basketball, which easily showcased the love bitten bruises on his skin. “don’t worry, big bro, i’m all over it,” teased taewon, sending a wink taehyung’s way.
taehyung rolled his eyes as he walked closer to step inside the kitchen. “i saw your boy today,” he said, “at the library.” he had no idea why he even brought up the topic in the first place, it wasn’t like he wanted to know any details about his brother being with jeongguk, it was just sometimes his mouth had a mind of its own.
“he’s not my boy,” began taewon, “yet.” and then it was like word vomit, “god, tae, the way he kisses, it’s so fucking—”
“ahh!” squealed taehyung, “i don’t wanna hear any of this!” he screamed the rest of it as he fast-walked out of the kitchen and started heading upstairs towards his room. he could hear taewon’s cackling laughter as he pulled his phone out to check his notifications. annoying little brother...
hoseok had texted back with, ‘did you guys talk about taewon together’ with the side eye emoji. taehyung gave his phone a dumbfounded look, he quickly texted back, ‘no??? he picked up my stylus pen for me tho….’
once in his room, taehyung dropped his book bag at the end of his bed, he’d worry about the rest of his homework at a later time. right now he felt like playing some overwatch. he checked his phone one more time before he sat at his computer chair, there was a text from jimin that simply said, ‘why did he pick it up?’ with which taehyung replied, ‘bc it almost rolled off the table when i was working on my assignment…’
taehyung had just logged into his account when jimin texted back, ‘aww how sweet!’ with a blushing smiley face. he could sense the sarcasm in the emoji, taehyung only rolled his eyes.
focusing his attention back to his computer screen, he smiled when he saw that his game had finished loading. i’m back d.va!
IT WAS ONE OF THOSE RARE DAYS where taehyung didn’t have a single class for the day. actually, it was just a normal monday but they felt rare to taehyung. he’d been smart enough not to register for any monday classes at the start of the semester, so he was happily basking in his three-day weekend. he had the whole house to himself, no assignment deadlines, and no other responsibilities.
so his ass was comfortably lying down on the couch—in his coziest pair of sweatpants, they were a little worn out with holes in them, but he didn’t care—watching one of his favorite animes. it’d been hours, almost done with his seventh episode of the day when someone rang the doorbell.
and how dare someone interrupt his special time of watching boku no hero academia, he was right in the middle of wondering if he could pull off the same hairstyle as todoroki. the image made him laugh to be honest, he didn’t think his mom would much appreciate it if he came home one day with the left side of his head dyed white and the other side dyed red. it would be quite a sight though.
reluctantly, taehyung got up from being a couch potato and went to answer the door. he didn’t think to pause the tv hoping it would be no one of importance so he could quickly shut the door on their face, but when he swung it open and was met with someone he didn’t expect, he really wished he had paused the tv then.
“what are you doing here?” the soon to be more than familiar face of jeon jeongguk asked on the other side of the door. the look of recognition was apparent on his face, possibly remembering the other from the library.
taehyung looked at him with narrowed eyes, and he made a gesture with his hand like he was presenting his body to him while saying, “i obviously live here…” surely, his cozy sweatpants informed jeongguk that taehyung would only wear these in his own house.
“oh,” began jeongguk, he looked around awkwardly, “i’m supposed to be meeting taewon, is he here?”
shaking his head, taehyung answered, “he’s still at basketball practice, he won’t be here—” suddenly he looked down while bringing his hand closer to his face so he could get a better look at the watch that wasn’t on his wrist before looking back up to say, “for like another hour.”
jeongguk didn’t miss taehyung’s obvious disinterest in their conversation, but he didn’t let that waiver his reason for being there. “right, well that’s okay, i can wait for him inside.”
and just as jeongguk went to take a step inside, taehyung pulled the door closer to his body, blocking the entrance.
“or,” jeongguk dragged his voice while looking at taehyung in amusement, with a teasing smile, he went on to say, “i can wait out here in the cold, wet rain.”
it had just dawned on taehyung that it in fact was raining outside; he was cooped up all day indoors, he hadn’t once bothered to look outside to check the weather. one would think that the sound of the rain hitting concrete would’ve notified taehyung, but he was too preoccupied with the fact that jeongguk was standing on his front porch to really notice, oh well.
taehyung sighed as he looked at jeongguk’s face, he really was a sweet boy—soft features with big, bright eyes and an ever bigger nose—taehyung kind of felt bad for being a little rude to him. wordlessly, he gestured for jeongguk to come inside as he opened the door for him. jeongguk gave him a smile and eagerly walked past taehyung into his house.
“taewon never mentioned he had a brother,” said jeongguk as he stood in the middle of the corridor while looking around.
“of course he didn’t,” taehyung muttered as he lead them to the living room.
it was weird having jeongguk follow him in his own house like a chicken without a head but that’s what his life had come to now. it was awkward enough that taehyung knew jeongguk and his brother had been together, but now that they were in the same room without taewon—whose sole reason for jeongguk being here in the first place—it was even more awkward than he thought. in the few steps it took to walk to the living room, taehyung had planned to mostly ignore jeongguk and hope that he stayed quiet until taewon came home so he could go back to his anime.
but...
“oh cool! you watch boku no hero academia too,” commented jeongguk, his eyes appeared to be glued to the tv screen.
taehyung muttered affirmatively and plopped his ass down on the couch where he had been earlier. he didn’t pay any attention to jeongguk which made the other boy slowly sit down on the other couch next to taehyung. jeongguk was obviously trying not to overstep his boundaries and taehyung found it funny at how timid he seemed sitting on a couch that belonged to taehyung’s family. it contrasted greatly with taehyung, whose body limbs were sprawled out on his own couch.
he really was hoping to pretend jeongguk wasn’t there but it was hard when every few minutes jeongguk made a comment.
“i’ve seen this episode so many times, i love it.”
or.
“isn’t it so cool how todoroki is both fire and ice, i wish i had that power.”
or even.
“have you watched season three yet?”
it wasn’t that jeongguk was annoying him every time he spoke up, it was more that taehyung didn’t really know how to reply to him. he knew next to nothing about jeongguk’s personality and it seemed like the guy was trying to use small talk as a solution to an awkward silence that they both knew was lurking in the background. so after the fourth or fifth outburst from jeongguk, taehyung starting talking back.
“don’t you just love todoroki…”
jeongguk had snorted at taehyung’s statement, “who doesn’t.”
eventually there was a comfortable silence in the room. taehyung had taken the time to lie on his side to get more situated, but truthfully, it was because he wanted to get a better look at jeongguk in case he started talking again or whatever. jeongguk was idly scrolling through his phone, sending a text or two, probably to taewon. he took the time to study jeongguk. it wasn’t his fault he was an overly observant person; it was just a thing he did sometimes.
he noticed how every few moments, jeongguk’s nose would sniffle as if he had allergies or something. jeongguk also liked to hum whatever song was stuck in his head at that moment. taehyung found it amusing how jeongguk liked to sit on his hands but would alternate when one of them eventually fell asleep under his thighs—he’d discreetly try to shake it back awake. taehyung was so engrossed with just observing jeongguk that he hadn’t noticed the episode ended.
they had watched two whole episodes, almost an hour had passed and as if on cue… taewon decided to join them.
taehyung heard the front door close suddenly and it shook him from his trance. he quickly sat up on the couch and the movement confused him for a second, it wasn’t like there was anything to be guilty of, so then why did a sense of shame wash over him?
“jeongguk?”
“taewon, hey,” answered jeongguk.
taehyung suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, it seemed that jeongguk used a certain flirtatious tone when speaking to his brother. he turned his attention, taewon was all sweaty and grimy looking from practice, it didn’t seem to bother jeongguk though.
“hello, little bro,” spoke taehyung, just cause.
taewon gave him an annoyed expression before saying, “jeongguk, come on up to my room.” he made a gesture with his hand before turning to walk up the stairs.
jeongguk stood up and before walking away, he told taehyung, “this was fun.” he gave him a small smile and a nod of his head.
taehyung replied with, “yeah,” before watching jeongguk join taewon on the staircase. his gaze zeroed in on their hands that were now held together. he almost averted his eyes before jeongguk quickly looked back at him, it was only for a few seconds but taehyung caught it.
he really hated to admit it, but taehyung was sad to see jeongguk go. he thought they were having a nice time together.
FINDING JEONGGUK AT HIS HOUSE BECAME a recurrence for taehyung. wherever taewon was, jeongguk was there too. which taehyung was fine with, at least at first. jeongguk was a nice guy, he hadn’t done much to annoy him. unless he counted the times he’d walk into his house and catch jeongguk and taewon making out on the couch. which was frequently now.
so yeah taehyung’s brother and jeongguk were dating.
taehyung still didn’t understand what jeongguk saw in his brother. he assumed it was the whole athlete thing, and taewon definitely had that look going for him. their relationship was kind of weird but who was taehyung to judge when he’d never been in a relationship himself. his brother and jeongguk were obviously physically attracted to each other—they were always sucking face, remember?
but from what taehyung had seen, that was all there was to them...
it wasn’t any of his business per se, but taehyung did care if it meant taewon got hurt somehow. as much as the kid annoyed him, taehyung did love his little brother very much.
nevertheless, having jeongguk at his house all the time wasn’t enough for the universe it seemed. taehyung would find himself running into jeongguk on campus more times than he could count. out of politeness, they’d smile and give each other a nod, that was really the extent of their relationship outside of his home. you’re dating my brother and i’ve walked in on you guys making out multiple times, hey what’s up?
this one time, taehyung was at the school store buying some scantron sheets since midterms were coming up; he hadn’t been happy about it—when the cashier had handed them over, taehyung had looked down at her hand and stared before reluctantly taking them. he really needed to start studying, but knowing him, he’d procrastinate until the last minute. with a glum expression on his face, he headed towards the vending machines to grab a bag of chips, hoping the sodium would elevate his mood.
but of course, the bag got stuck.
“stupid, fucking vending machine,” taehyung swore as he started banging on the glass.
he just wanted some damn chips. the bag was barely hanging on by the welded wire, it was practically taunting taehyung. he hit the glass one more time with the palm of his hand hoping it’d fall, but still, nothing. taehyung groaned as he turned around ready to walk away from the evil vending machine. he hoped he’d be able to get a refund for the change he wasted on the machine.
but just as he turned, he was met with jeongguk’s face. taehyung made a noise of surprise before quickly calming himself down.
jeongguk had his headphones in, excuse him, apple airpods...
taehyung wanted to roll his eyes, he didn’t understand why anyone would pay actual money for headphones that could get easily lost. what if they fell while you were walking and you stepped on them? what if you forgot them in the pockets of your pants, and oops, mom put them in the washing machine, now you’re fucked. anyway, taehyung digressed.
“hey—” started taehyung.
wordlessly, jeongguk stepped around taehyung and stood in front of the vending machine. taehyung didn’t know if jeongguk could hear him or not, but that didn’t stop taehyung from talking.
“it ate my money, hope you have better luck.”
jeongguk snickered at his comment. taehyung supposed his music wasn’t playing loudly in his ears, smart dude, no hearing aid for him when he’s older… as taehyung turned back around to see what jeongguk was doing, he stared in awe as jeongguk effortlessly kicked the vending machine with his foot, making taehyung’s rightfully owned bag of chips fall from its clutches. taehyung gasped softly and a smile split his face in half.
“thank you!” taehyung gleefully said as jeongguk bent over and grabbed the chips from inside the machine and handed them over.
jeongguk gave him a smile when taehyung grabbed the bag from his hand, he nodded his head, a silent ‘you’re welcome’ before stepping away.
taehyung didn’t know at the time why his heart suddenly started beating so fast, he blamed it on the joy at finally putting the first chip in his mouth. he felt kind of lame, the gesture from jeongguk was really sweet but so normal; so why did he feel like it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him?
he stood there as he watched jeongguk head towards the exit, happily eating his chips. and just before jeongguk had pushed the door open to walk out, he turned his head back to taehyung and waved to him. a small, subtle wave, but of course it had taehyung choking on his potato chip. taehyung quickly scrambled to wave goodbye but jeongguk had already walked out, which he was sort of thankful for, he really hoped jeongguk hadn’t seen the chip mishap in his mouth.
trying to clear his mind, taehyung shook his head as he too started to make his exit, unfortunately he had class soon. he pulled his phone out to check the time and was glad to see a text, it was of course from the group chat he had with jimin and hoseok.
>>i am sick of school!!!!
>>i’m dropping out and becoming a stripper!!
taehyung chuckled as he read hoseok’s text, it wasn’t the first time he’d gotten a text like this from hoseok. taehyung understood the struggle, but alas, his parents weren’t rich so he’d sadly have to get a degree and work for a living.
<<you definitely have the dance moves for it ;)
by the time taehyung arrived to class, hoseok had replied with a ‘thank u’ plus a slew of winky faces and other emoji’s that could carry a sexual innuendo. before the lecture had started, taehyung finished his chips, and as he stood up to throw the bag away, he couldn’t help but think of jeongguk. the slight blush that rose to his cheeks, well taehyung blamed it on the fact that he was a little too warm from the scarf wrapped around his neck. he idly walked back to his seat as he adjusted his glasses and pulled his scarf past his mouth, hoping it’d hide his flushed face.
and by the end of the day, when taehyung walked into his house and passed the living room, he didn’t spare a second glance as taewon and jeongguk were yet again making out on his favorite couch.
“get a room,” taehyung had grumbled.
TAEHYUNG WAS HEADING TO THE KITCHEN to get a drink when it happened. truthfully speaking, he didn’t know why the hell he came to this party. hoseok and jimin had dragged him along and said that jeongguk was going to be there and that was really the only illogical explanation they gave him. like i care if jeongguk is gonna be there or not, pfft...
he was at some frat party, the school’s football team had just won. they always did. he knew this because of some big frat dudes—who didn’t look anywhere near his age—that were running up and down the halls, whooping and cheering. within the next hour this dormitory along with the rest of the building would be filled with sweaty people, doors would be pushed open, and mainstream music would be blasting in all corners of the room. that was supposedly how college students celebrated.
there was a crowd in the kitchen, a couple making out on the counter, all sorts of students were congested in the small room so they could get a drink and proceed to get shit-faced. one of the guys wearing a jersey, taehyung recognized him from one of his old general classes, had some girl on his lap with a drink halfway to his mouth.
taehyung was just trying to get a drink. okay, he just really needed a drink.
all week he had to endure jeongguk over his house hanging out with his brother. taewon had been driving him up the wall, his little brother had always been the type of person who’d rather go out than spend a night indoors. but since he’d been dating jeongguk, they were always in the damn house together. taehyung had really gotten sick of walking in on them making out on the couch.
he came here with hoseok and jimin but he had no idea where they went. this always happened to him, somehow they always managed to do this. it wasn’t on purpose, they’d just get distracted by someone they knew, got caught up in the music, or started chatting to people and forgot all about taehyung.
this was why he never really went to parties. they just never felt right to him. he didn’t want to be here; he knew he didn’t fit in with the crowd. he definitely didn’t fit with the heavily built guys cheering at something stupid on the tv screen with a pretty girl on their arm. neither did he fit with the intoxicated group playing some cup game on the pool table.
he wasn’t like his friends that could easily pick up a conversation with someone they didn’t know. taehyung was too anxious of a person to do something like that. they’d have to be the one to come up to taehyung and say hi, that was just how it had always been for him. he wasn’t exactly introverted, but he would rather choose someone befriending him than him being the one to make friends. and maybe, yeah, it was because of the way he was raised, to be a good role model for his little brother but instead, his little brother was the one who became the role model while taehyung had become the observer.
taehyung had just gotten a plastic cup from the kitchen counter, ready to pour himself whatever concoction of alcohol was available for him when someone from behind him spoke up.
“who the hell invited this guy?”
automatically, taehyung’s cheeks started to burn, he didn’t have to turn around to see that the question was directed at him. it wasn’t his first time getting picked on, but it was a little surprising he would admit. they were in college for crying out loud, they should’ve outgrown this shit after high school, but apparently not.
taehyung ignored the rude comment and poured himself a drink. with a finger, he secured his glasses on his nose and turned around to walk away with the drink in hand.
“excuse me,” taehyung gritted, trying to move past the guy blocking his way.
the guy, a baseball player it seemed from the type of jersey he was wearing, moved so he was still blocking taehyung’s path. behind him, some buff guy asked, “hey, he looks smart, maybe he could do my calc assignment for me.”
what a cliché, he thought. taehyung really shouldn’t have come to this party.
the one in front of him suddenly tugged taehyung’s glasses off his face and decided to put them on himself. he looked fucking ridiculous. taehyung didn’t move, but the hand not holding his drink curled at his side. he wasn’t an idiot, he’d been in situations like this before. it was best for him to just wait it out, he really wasn’t trying to get his ass kicked in that moment. the neanderthal in front of him had a good forty pounds on him, and he had some of his teammates in the room as well.
if taehyung decided to fuck with one of them, the others would definitely get involved. and taehyung very much liked his face intact.
the guy with his glasses asked, “do i look smarter?”
“it would take a lot more than just glasses to accomplish that,” muttered taehyung. there went the whole mouth having a mind of its own thing. he really needed to fix the filter on his mouth.
“the fuck did you just say to me?”
taehyung rolled his eyes, he had no intention of the guy hearing him but… “i said—”
“i heard you,” the guy spit out. “you think you’re fucking better than us? is that—”
“give taehyung his glasses back, siwon,” taehyung suddenly heard, just before jeongguk walked into the room.
taehyung’s heart practically stopped beating when he saw jeongguk. taehyung had never been one to wait for someone to come rescue him from a fight but jeongguk sure had come at the right time. jeongguk looked between everyone in the room for a few short seconds before his eyes finally landed on taehyung, and then his gaze moved past him.
the guy—siwon—said, “why the fuck do you care, jeon?”
jeongguk didn’t answer the question, instead he said in a calm yet dangerous voice, “give him back the glasses.”
siwon rolled his eyes before doing just that. taehyung snatched them from him while giving siwon a dirty look, carefully securing the frames back on his nose. he was a little dazed when he sidestepped his way into the hallway because he really hadn’t expected that to happen.
but someone grabbed his arm on his way out, “you okay?” jeongguk asked, he looked genuinely concerned. “did they do anything to you?”
taehyung offered jeongguk a small smile, “no, they didn’t. i’m fine, though.”
it was weird talking to him in this setting since the only time taehyung ever really spoke to jeongguk was at his house when he came over to see taewon.
jeongguk smiled back at him, “okay, good.” he dropped his hand from taehyung’s arm and then gave him a pat on the shoulder.
taehyung sent him a funny look. he took a sip of his drink and asked, “is taewon with you?” he didn’t really care if his brother was here tonight or not, but for some reason, he just really wanted an excuse to talk to jeongguk more.
“no, he has that basketball game tonight, remember?” jeongguk told him while reaching for taehyung’s drink.
“right, yeah,” said taehyung sarcastically as he watched jeongguk take a sip from his plastic cup.
“c’mon, let’s get some air,” jeongguk suggested, “it’s too hot in here.”
taehyung didn’t have a chance to reply because jeongguk was already pulling him by his wrist, leading them outside.
they were on the patio, jeongguk was leaning forward on the railing, elbows resting on top of it, when taehyung had realized he was staring. jeongguk wore a beanie on his head—little tuffs of his hair stuck out in the front—paired with an oversized hoodie and some grey sweatpants, taehyung thought he looked really snug in the autumn air.
shaking his head, taehyung piped up, “what you did back there, i just wanna say thanks. you didn’t have to do that.”
jeongguk turned his head to look at him, “it was no problem.” he stared at taehyung carefully before continuing, “i hate that whole group, i can’t believe i ever used to consider them my friends.”
the statement made taehyung frown because he hadn’t known that about him. jeongguk was well known on campus for their age group but taehyung never really knew why. he always assumed it was because of his good looks and cool personality but now he wasn’t so sure.
“you surprise me, jeongguk.”
jeongguk chuckled, smiling when he questioned taehyung, “yeah? how so?”
“i just— i don’t know, you’re not the same person i thought you were the first time i saw you,” answered taehyung with a small smile.
“oh, please elaborate,” jeongguk requested in an amused tone.
taehyung softly laughed and turned on his side so he was leaning against the railing. “i don’t know, i guess, you’re what those american films consider popular but you don’t seem to care about social status and all that. you’re here standing with me, someone who definitely wouldn’t make you look cooler,” he forces out a laugh at that part, “but you don’t care who sees you.”
jeongguk raised an eyebrow, he spoke softly, “as much as i hate to admit it, there was a time when i did care.”
“what changed?” asked taehyung in interest.
“i guess after i quit the baseball team last year, i realized i didn’t like the person i had become,” admitted jeongguk. there was a serious expression on his face, his eyebrows were furrowed when he went on, “i mean, you saw those guys back there, that could’ve been me.”
taehyung shook his head, disagreeing with jeongguk’s statement. “i don’t think you’d have that in you,” replied taehyung earnestly.
jeongguk smirked, chuckling softly, “i can be a real jerk sometimes, kim.” playfully, he landed a light punch on the side of taehyung’s arm, trying to prove his point.
“you wouldn’t hurt a fly, jeongguk.” taehyung bit his lip as he tried to contain his smile. he glanced down at his arm where jeongguk was idly rubbing it to ease the nonexistent pain, as if his fist had actually made some damage.
they both laughed and taehyung was almost sorry to see jeongguk’s hand drop from his arm. he found jeongguk’s touch to be really comforting. things got quiet after that, he was thankful for it because he had never thought that he’d have a conversation like this with jeongguk outside of his house. he felt anxious suddenly, like he’d say something stupid to jeongguk and embarrass himself. and then taehyung felt confused because why the hell did he care? why did he care what jeongguk thought of him?
“so who’d you come here with?”
just as taehyung was about to answer, some girl lit up her cigarette right next to them.
“i’m trying to breathe here, thanks,” taehyung directed at the girl, making an effort to sound a little snarky. he then turned his attention back to jeongguk who looked entertained, he had a wide grin on his face. “i came here with my friends, hoseok and jimin,” taehyung finally answered once the girl left, “but they kind of ditched me.”
jeongguk jutted his lip out in a sad pout, showing some sympathy to taehyung. “that’s okay, at least you’re here with me.”
taehyung ducked his head a little in embarrassment, he could feel a rush of warmth rise to his cheeks.
out here on the patio, the music from inside was a little more muted, much more tolerable than it had been when taehyung first arrived. there was still the occasional roar of laughter from the few people lurking around them, but none of it was a distraction to taehyung. jeongguk’s presence was exhilarating to him, kept him focused. he didn’t know exactly why that was…
maybe it was because jeongguk had this type of cool atmosphere around him, like whenever he would walk around campus, heads turned every which way to get a good look at him. or maybe it was the enchanting aura that seemed to follow the college boy around, like the time jeongguk came over his house to wait for taewon and they watched anime until he had arrived, his gaze only leaving jeongguk when his brother had come home.
all taehyung knew in that moment, was that he didn’t want the night to end. because he knew that the next time he’d see jeongguk, he’d be with his brother. because after all, jeongguk and taewon were dating. the thought almost upset taehyung. yeah, taewon was his little brother, and no one knew his little brother like taehyung did.
but he didn’t think that taewon was deserving of jeongguk.
it was a conflicting feeling to have, because blood was blood, right? taehyung couldn’t help the pit of jealousy that settled into his stomach. all his life taewon had been the better brother, it somehow hadn’t mattered that taehyung had the better grades, the scholastic awards, the brains. all throughout his life, taehyung had been in his little brother’s shadow.
and now, the one thing that taehyung suddenly seemed to yearn for… well it didn’t seem to matter because his brother had already gotten to it first.
“hey? you okay?”
jeongguk’s voice pulled taehyung out of his weary thoughts. nodding his head, taehyung gave him an assuring smile, “yeah, sorry, i just spaced out a little bit.”
taehyung started to feel the night chill suddenly, he wished he had grabbed a thicker jacket instead of listening to jimin. this is college, tae. no one wears a jacket to a party… he hadn’t understood jimin’s logic, so thankfully he had grabbed a thin coat on their way out. he discreetly started shuffling closer to jeongguk, hoping to steal some of his body heat. jeongguk looked so warm with his beanie, unlike taehyung who was pretty sure that his ears were bright red from the chilled-night air.
thankfully, jeongguk got the idea. “you cold?” he asked, before grabbing ahold of taehyung by the sides of his arms, then rubbing them back and forth with his hands to create some friction.
“a little,” taehyung said shamefully with a sheepish smile on his face. stepping even closer to jeongguk, he relished in the slight heat that his arms were absorbing from jeongguk’s hands. he huddled in close, body away from the railing as he brought his arms close to his chest and cupped his hands to his mouth, hoping to warm them up with his breath.
and just as the lenses of his glasses started to fog up from the warmth of his mouth, taehyung realized exactly how close they were. their shoes were touching, and taehyung wouldn’t need to put much effort into it if he were to reach over and touch jeongguk’s chest. he glanced up and jeongguk was looking straight at him, a gentle smile on his face.
then when taehyung’s gaze dropped to jeongguk’s lips for a quick second, the few inches between their faces seemed to suffocate him. overwhelmed, taehyung suddenly pushed jeongguk away from him.
“right! okay! uhh— thank you for this,” taehyung stammered, “i have to leave soon… so i should probably go look for my friends.” he tried not to dwell too much on the slightly disappointed expression on jeongguk’s face.
“it’s not even midnight though?” jeongguk’s head tilted to the side in confusion. fuck, he was so cute.
“yeah, but i don’t wanna worry my parents, you know…” taehyung replied with narrowed eyes and his lips slightly puckered as he tried to come up with some reasonable excuse. “taewon’s the troublemaker in the family, not me,” a nervous laugh left taehyung’s mouth—at the mention of his brother’s name, jeongguk looked a lot more alert suddenly.
taking a few steps backwards, so taehyung could make way to turn around and go back inside to look for hoseok and jimin, jeongguk quickly grabbed him by the arm again.
“wait!” jeongguk sounded a little flustered. “let me give you my number. maybe whenever you’re on campus, we can hang out, if you want? just text me!” he released taehyung’s arm and held his hand out in front of him, gesturing for taehyung to take his phone out.
taehyung’s eyes widened, not expecting the request at all. nevertheless, he pulled his phone out from his coat pocket before unlocking it and handing it over. he watched, perplexed, as jeongguk’s thumbs typed away on his phone, collecting a new contact.
with a bright smile, jeongguk gave him back his phone and taehyung was almost embarrassed to say that it put him in a daze. his big teeth, wide smile, and rosy cheeks made jeongguk look so adorable, taehyung never wanted to look away.
he snapped out of it though when someone brushed against him trying to enter the building. tucking his phone away, taehyung smiled back at jeongguk, “thanks again, for—” he stuck his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to what had happened back in the kitchen.
jeongguk shook his head, a smile still plastered on his face, “don’t mention it.”
and later that night, when hoseok drove him home after the party, all taehyung could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss jeongguk back on that patio. even if it was something as simple as a brush of lips, he wanted it.
the thought absolutely terrified him.
AFTER THE PARTY, TAEHYUNG HAD TAKEN some time to evaluate his life. it sounded a little dramatic but under the circumstances, he thought it was appropriate. so yeah, he may or may not be a little attracted to jeongguk, who knew? certainly not taehyung. i mean, am i really? i only wanted to kiss him a little, oh fuck… there were a lot of things wrong with that statement: the first being that jeongguk was his brother’s boyfriend, the second being that, well, taehyung hadn’t kissed anyone in a really long time, what if he was bad at it? and the third, more importantly: jeongguk. was. his. brother’s. boyfriend.
taehyung didn’t do infidelity. the thought of being cheated on was an experience he hoped to never have. and taehyung valued trust a lot, being able to just break his trust like that, it’d kill him. so of course, he’d never want to be the one helping the cheater. he was no homewrecker.
so the night after the party, taehyung had put it all behind him. he didn’t think about how nice it felt talking to jeongguk. he didn’t think about how jeongguk had made those frat guys get off his back. or when jeongguk had tried to warm taehyung up by rubbing his arms. and he definitely didn’t think about how badly he had wanted to kiss jeongguk...
never mind all of that, this was his brother’s boyfriend he was talking about. he shouldn’t. he couldn’t dwell on the feelings he had that night, no matter how hard it was to try.
taehyung could write a pros and cons list. pro, jeongguk’s really cute. con, he’s fucking dating my younger brother.
and that was the end of that.
all of these thoughts had ran through his mind as he sat on the toilet. he’d been done with business about ten minutes ago, but he was scrolling through his phone, which made him forget what he had initially been doing. so by the time his left leg started going numb, he realized that he should probably get up. but he really didn’t want to.
he’d been avoiding taewon for obvious reasons.
he didn’t want to look in his brother’s eyes just in case, somehow, taewon could sense the chaos going on in his head with just one look. taehyung knew it was ridiculous, but he’d watched too many sci-fi movies to think coherently.
by the time he left the bathroom and started walking to his bedroom, he could already hear jeongguk’s voice downstairs talking to taewon. taehyung sighed in defeat, he really couldn’t get away from this guy. can they just leave the house for once, damn…
he didn’t want to announce his presence to either jeongguk or his brother, so he carefully and quietly walked the rest of the way to his room. it was a monday evening meaning he had absolutely nothing to do. which then meant he could fuck around if he so pleased to. he could hop onto his bed, waste some time scrolling through his phone looking at social media. he could also nap, but he’d already done that earlier today. then there was the obvious choice, gaming.
greedily, taehyung reached for his gaming glasses that he kept in a special case near his computer. they were these red-rimmed tiny frames that looked like they belonged to his grandmother, but they were definitely taehyung’s. yeah, they were kind of ugly but they brought him good luck. he always played better when he had these glasses on, he usually brought them out when he wanted to do some hardcore gaming.
so he took off his everyday glasses—a pair of simple aviators that made him look stylish but also didn’t give him that poser look because no, he didn’t wear glasses for the style, he vision was actually shit—and put on the special glasses. his look was almost complete, he only needed his gaming headgear now. big, bulky headphones with the microphone attached so his teammates could clearly hear him swear every time his character got shot at.
twenty or so minutes later into the game, taehyung was fired up, he had his legs crisscrossed on his computer chair, his posture was alert and he was absolutely lethal. he’d already won two games and gotten gold in every category of both matches, it made taehyung smile triumphantly as he adjusted the lucky glasses on his nose.
maybe he was too engrossed into changing the skin of his character—d.va was in need of a new look—to hear the knock on the door, which taehyung would later blame on the fact that his headgear made it hard to hear the outside world. but when he suddenly noticed a movement near his door, he quickly turned his head, giving himself whiplash, and almost jumped when he saw jeongguk leaning against his door frame.
so many thoughts were going through his head in that moment. thought one: umm, who said you could come in? thought two: why did he look so good standing like that? thought three: oh my god, i probably look like the biggest geek right now.
“sorry, i knocked a few times but i guess you couldn’t hear me,” jeongguk said in a casual voice.
as jeongguk was speaking, taehyung’s hands scrambled to his face to pull off his glasses which he then chucked onto his computer desk. it’d been a mistake because now he couldn’t see, so he quickly reached for his other glasses, the ones that didn’t make him look like a complete dork. and then he just stared at jeongguk, who was currently scratching his nose with his hand, probably to hide the smirk that was evidently on his face. fuck he totally saw me in my lucky glasses...
slowly, taehyung took off his headgear and opened his mouth to ask, “did you need something?” his voice came out a little snippy and it was mostly to do with that fact that taehyung had decided on being annoyed with jeongguk. maybe finding the guy annoying would lessen taehyung’s attraction towards him.
jeongguk cocked an eyebrow, there was definitely a difference from the way taehyung was talking to him now compared to the party. “i had pizza delivered,” he began again, “was just wondering if you wanted any.”
slouching back in his chair a little, taehyung answered, “i’m good, thanks though.” he turned his attention back to his computer screen, hoping jeongguk would get the clue and leave.
“i’ll leave some left over for you in case you change your mind.”
taehyung suppressed the urge to groan out loud. why did jeongguk have to be so thoughtful? it made taehyung feel bad for rudely brushing him off just now. he turned to look back at jeongguk and give him a nod, but jeongguk’s gaze was roaming around his room. oh god, i hope i don’t have any dirty underwear laying around… taehyung caught jeongguk’s eyes focusing on a few of his anime posters, which taehyung was alright with, he knew he had amazing taste in anime.
then jeongguk’s eyes landed back on taehyung before he pointed out, “i see you play overwatch.” he continued before taehyung could respond, “i’m more of a console player myself, though.” his chin jutted out a little, directing it towards taehyung’s computer. he said this with an inviting smile and it definitely did the trick.
the statement had taehyung’s interest peaked. his eyebrows slightly rose when he genuinely asked, “yeah? which hero do you main?” the question was out before he could stop himself. taehyung shouldn’t be caring if jeongguk played one of his favorite video games. it could lead into an even deeper conversation and he didn’t think his heart could handle that right now.
but thankfully, just as jeongguk opened his mouth to answer, taewon called his name from downstairs.
and then it got awkward quickly.
taehyung turned back to his computer screen and pretended to click on some stuff with his mouse, he could hear jeongguk’s feet shuffling in place as if he was contemplating staying or going back downstairs.
“i better go...” jeongguk dragged out.
taehyung made a noise of affirmation before responding, “can you close the door on your way out?”
jeongguk didn’t reply but taehyung did hear the click of the door as it closed. and in that next second, taehyung automatically relaxed. his shoulders slouched and he leaned forward on his desk, placing his elbows on top of it. he was squeezing the bridge of nose, breathing out air that he didn’t know he was holding in. he didn’t know whether he should be embarrassed about being caught taking his glasses off so quickly to look presentable in front of jeongguk, or embarrassed about the whole awkward ordeal that just happened between them.
but he now knew that his attraction towards jeongguk wasn’t going away anytime soon.
this was bad, this was so bad, the words ran through taehyung’s head. why did jeongguk have to stop that guy at the party? he would’ve been fine on his own. why did jeongguk have to give him his phone number? which by the way, taehyung still hadn’t texted, the whole avoid jeongguk agenda was still very much intact.
there was no reason jeongguk had to look so good standing against his door like that, in his sweatpants and hoodie, looking all sorts of comfortable—the image of him cuddling with jeongguk suddenly popped into his head—while taehyung was trying to deny his feelings towards the guy. he guessed the universe just had it out for him. it said let’s fuck with taehyung’s love life today…
by the time taehyung remembered what he was doing, he’d pushed himself away from his computer and it dawned on him that he hadn’t eaten since lunch time and it was well into the evening. this time he did groan out loud, he was hungry and the thought of pizza sounded really good right about now. but that would mean he’d have to go downstairs and see jeongguk, with taewon.
it was a difficult decision to make up until the moment his stomach started to growl, then he was up on his feet heading towards his door. okay, so he’d quickly go down the stairs, grab a slice of pizza and then run back upstairs, sounded like an easy plan.
and it was, until taehyung reached the kitchen. jeongguk had saved him a few slices of pizza like he said, they were wrapped in tin foil on the kitchen counter. taehyung had to stop the smile from forming on his face as he grabbed two slices, it was still a little warm. then when he turned to walk out of the kitchen, jeongguk appeared holding a couple of dirty dishes.
there was a small, knowing smile on jeongguk’s expression as he noticed the slices in taehyung’s hands. this guy really knew when to appear in front of taehyung at the most inconvenient times—taehyung was holding a slice in each hand, not a plate in sight, and had just taken an enormous bite out of one of them.
“i got hungry,” mumbled taehyung with a stuffed mouth, that was all he said before stepping around jeongguk and directing himself back to his room. on his way there, he saw taewon doing his homework in the living room. it looked like he may have been getting help from jeongguk. he didn’t know why it surprised him, he knew jeongguk was a pretty smart guy. and for the most part, he was just happy he hadn’t walked in on them making out again. at least they were being productive…
later that night, after he heard jeongguk leave, taehyung did something stupid. it wasn’t the stupidest thing he’d ever done, far from it, but nonetheless, it was still very stupid.
he didn’t know what made him do it, but he’d grabbed his phone and looked for jeongguk’s contact name. he had this feeling that maybe jeongguk had never taken his phone that night at the party, maybe he didn’t really have jeongguk’s phone number and that he imagined it all. but when he stopped scrolling through his contacts, his thumb hovering over his screen, he scratched an eyebrow with his pinky finger as he stared at the contact name that he had hoped wouldn’t be there.
and then his thumbs had a mind of its own. they started tapping away and by the time he realized it, he’d already sent a text message to jeongguk’s number.
<<you never got a chance to answer my question
it was vague, that was for sure. but taehyung felt like jeongguk would know exactly who it was from. he read ‘delivered’ in the tiny words below the speech bubble and a second later, taehyung locked his phone and turned it face down.
he was lying on his bed wearing his favorite pajama pants, it was a little past midnight and here he was having a crisis over a text message. did he really just text jeongguk about who his favorite overwatch character was? taehyung felt pathetic. for one because well, he thought he was going to try not to engage in his feelings for jeongguk. and the other reason was because he just texted jeongguk a question about fucking overwatch of all things.
his fingers tapped along on the back of his phone case, an offbeat pattern while he stared up at the ceiling. taehyung hadn’t blinked in a few minutes, it didn’t occur to him that his eyes were turning a little dry but when he heard the familiar ping! of his phone, his eyes shut and opened back up immediately.
rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, taehyung picked his phone up and turned it around. it was a notification from jeongguk.
part of him had hoped that jeongguk wouldn’t answer, hoping the other had already fallen asleep or that the phone number had been a fake the whole time. he put in his pass code and read the message.
>>Widowmaker!
taehyung rolled his eyes because he should’ve seen that coming. any typical male gamer would choose the sniper with the boobs and ass (could anyone blame them though?), it made him snicker before he read the second message.
>>Or mccree. I like them both :)
well now that was a better answer, a cowboy with a revolver, taehyung could picture it. he smiled as he read the messages back, he felt kind of elated that jeongguk knew it was taehyung who texted him. if taehyung had received a message like the one he had sent, his reply would’ve been, ‘who the fuck is this…’
he never replied back that night, felt that he didn’t really need to. he knew from the moment he texted jeongguk that he was confirming what he already knew was true.
taehyung had feelings for jeongguk, the type of feelings he shouldn’t have for his brother’s boyfriend.
he was well and truly fucked.
TAEHYUNG WAS CORRECT IN THINKING that the universe had it out for him, and he could prove it. his life didn’t get any easier as jeongguk and taewon continued to date, nor did his feelings for jeongguk disappear. it went from a blooming crush to straight up infatuation. taehyung would find himself in class daydreaming about jeongguk, picturing his smile (he never noticed the little mole jeongguk had below his bottom lip before, it was cute, or whatever), thinking about his endearing laugh (taewon always made him laugh, which he was totally not jealous of), jeongguk had been in his general line of thought these past couple of weeks.
and it was driving taehyung crazy.
it wasn’t enough that he somehow always ran into the guy on campus, or that jeongguk was at his house almost every day with taewon, but he also had to consume taehyung’s thoughts as well. well fuck you too, universe...
there were instances where taehyung would get mad at himself, because who in their right mind would willingly fall for someone who was already in a relationship, not to mention the fact that his younger brother was the other person in that relationship. it was aggravating because if jeongguk were single, at least taehyung would have the option of making a move on him. and taehyung was a smooth talker, or so he’d like to think, he at least wanted the option of flirting with jeongguk.
but the whole he’s dating my brother thing was sort of a huge obstacle.
so taehyung could only dream. kept it all in his head as he snuck glances at jeongguk and pictured himself waking up next to him and holding his hand, or kissing him on the cheek, or even… well, he wouldn’t elaborate because it got quite inappropriate.
all it meant was that taehyung was a sad, pining loser who needed to move the fuck on. his words exactly.
“taehyung?”
he blinked his eyes a few times before focusing in on hoseok a few feet away. right, they were in his room studying, or at least they were supposed to be studying but taehyung was too busy thinking about jeongguk.
“yeah?” answered taehyung.
hoseok chuckled, “you’ve been staring at the wall for the past ten minutes, what’s up with you?”
what was up with him? well, for starters, here taehyung was upstairs in his room while the man that had been occupying most of his dreams as of late was downstairs most likely making out with his brother because that was the only thing they did apparently. then there was also the fact that taehyung absolutely sucked at studying, couldn’t focus for more than five minutes before going on his phone for a well-deserved break because reading a whole paragraph from his textbook required so much work.
“i gotta piss,” was the excuse that taehyung settled for. and then he got up from his bed which probably hadn’t been the best piece of furniture to study on, oh well. “i’ll be right back,” said taehyung.
hoseok muttered an “okay” and went back to reading through his notes. taehyung admired him for being able to study, he was such a great role model. seriously, he was. hoseok was minoring in dance because it was his passion all while majoring in marine biology, which was another passion of his. he had an amazing grade point average and was able to fall asleep before midnight. taehyung wished he had his life in order as much as hoseok did.
the bathroom was located at the end of the hall, farthest from his room, taehyung really hated it sometimes—having to pee in the morning and getting out of bed while he was still more than half asleep was the worst, by the time he used the toilet and got back into bed, he was already wide awake.
it was mostly quiet in the house, taehyung could hear his mom in the kitchen doing the dishes and his dad was still at work. taewon? no idea, he wasn’t in his room when he walked past it, so he assumed that him and jeongguk had actually left the house for once.
but just as he approached the bathroom door, it swung open and revealed a very wet and half-naked jeongguk.
taehyung’s eyes almost bulged out of their sockets as he took in the sight before him. jeongguk, the ex-baseball player that he was, had obviously not lost the physique of one. his arms were toned, taehyung guessed he could hit a baseball very far with little effort, he had a prominent chest with a matching abdomen. and all of that was covered in droplets of water from the shower that he had obviously just taken.
fortunately, (unfortunately?), jeongguk’s bottom half was covered by a towel, it was wrapped securely around his hips, but low enough to reveal the slight v lines that were clearly there.
in the few seconds it took for taehyung to observe all of this, jeongguk just stared back at taehyung.
“um why were you using my shower?” taehyung finally asked when he realized he was staring a little too long at jeongguk’s nipples. it wasn’t his shower per se, it was just the one that happened to be located upstairs but taehyung claimed possession to it because why the fuck was jeongguk taking a shower in his house, and standing in front of him all naked and wet?
“i uhh—” jeongguk began and ran his hand through his wet hair pushing it away from his eyes—taehyung tried not to focus on how attractive he looked with his forehead showing. “...i smelled bad,” is what jeongguk finished with, along with an innocent smile and a shrug of his shoulders.
“okay?” taehyung replied, pretending that jeongguk’s explanation made somewhat sense. “well um,” taehyung paused and made some motion with his hands as if it would convey what he was trying to say, “i kind of need to use the bathroom, so…” his voice dragged on, his gaze looking anywhere but at jeongguk’s bare chest.
this was one of, if not the most, awkward moments of his life, taehyung concluded. jeongguk was just standing there, right on the threshold of the bathroom door with taehyung barely two steps in front of him, he could practically feel the steam from the shower leaving jeongguk’s skin.
“right! yeah, sorry,” a nervous chuckle left jeongguk’s mouth and he took a step to the side to walk around taehyung.
but of course, just as jeongguk did that, taehyung mirrored the same movement—he wanted to speed up the process, the faster that half-naked jeongguk was out of his sight, the better. taehyung exhaled through his nose roughly, and his lips pursed into a thin line when they softly bumped into each other. it was nothing that would jostle them around or do something like loosen jeongguk’s towel from around his waist and make it fall or— anyway.
jeongguk lightly laughed and offered him a small smile, while taehyung tried to give him an expression that said anything other than, ‘please, kill me’. it was awful, being this close to jeongguk was downright just mean. taehyung really hoped jeongguk couldn’t feel the sexual tension that so badly desired to be around them. it was there for taehyung, oh yes. knowing that hiding behind jeongguk’s towel was something that could make taehyung a very happy person was sadly, a prominent thought in his head.
“sorry, again,” spoke jeongguk as he successfully stepped around taehyung this time. taehyung didn’t miss the embarrassed look on jeongguk’s face as he turned away and headed for taewon’s room, nor the redness that rose to his cheeks.
and then he was alone, blissfully alone, and taehyung didn’t know what to do with himself. so many emotions ran through him; guilt, confusion, lust, regret, and then guilt again. because taehyung had been completely fine with just thinking that jeongguk was cute and a sweet person who had a nice laugh. it had already been hard enough for taehyung to fight off his attraction for just those traits alone…
now he had to fight off the sexual thoughts too?
taehyung was tired, and worried, and he felt defeated, like the universe really was trying to fuck him over and it was having a great time while doing it.
so by the time taehyung had gone back to his room, only after he had finally used the bathroom, he had come up with a question. taehyung needed advice because there was no way he’d be getting out of this predicament with a smooth ride.
glancing over at hoseok, taehyung asked once he plopped himself back onto his bed. “can i ask you a question?”
hoseok made a little noise of affirmation, like a hum, as he studied on.
“so uh, if…” started taehyung. he didn’t really know how to convey his question without making it sound suspicious. “let’s say that metaphorically,” he paused, “and i mean like hypothetically because this would probably never happen,” he let out a nervous laugh that he hoped sounded genuine. “what if you started having feelings for your sister’s boyfriend?” he said quickly before adding, “what would you do? you know, theoretically of course.”
he probably looked like an idiot just now. he eyes were squinted, eyebrows furrowed, and he was gnawing on his bottom lip like if he kept chewing on it, the answer to his question would be revealed.
hoseok dropped everything he was doing, literally. the highlighter in between his teeth fell from his mouth which he effortlessly caught with a hand at the same time as he looked up at taehyung. his face looked perplexed when he asked a simple, “what?”
fuck, maybe taehyung shouldn’t have used hoseok’s sister as an example. he quickly sat up on his bed and crossed his legs together, he needed to reiterate his question better. running a hand through his disheveled hair, he blew out a little puff of air before speaking. “what if there was someone you knew who started to have feelings for their sibling’s significant other?” he licked his lips and added, “what would you do if you were in their position?”
taehyung really hoped his question gave nothing away because at the moment he felt like his forehead had the words i like my brother’s boyfriend and i really don’t know what to do about it!! tattooed on it in big letters, and he knew that it was a plausible thought because his forehead had plenty of room for it.
in the back of his mind, taehyung was laughing right about now. it truly was a hilarious situation he was in.
“if i liked my sister’s boyfriend?” hoseok repeated taehyung’s earlier words.
“yeah, for example,” replied taehyung. he had his hands in his lap and he didn’t realize when but he’d been rubbing them together, like how he would if they were cold and he was trying to create some friction to warm them up. (his mind wandered back at the party when jeongguk tried to warm him up...) he really hoped hoseok couldn’t tell how antsy he felt.
“well, for starters,” hoseok began, “she doesn’t have a boyfriend right now but if she did…” his head tilted to the side as he thought about the question. “i would try to avoid the guy at all times…”
taehyung had already tried that, and failed.
“...because for me at least, i lose interest in people i have romantic feelings for if i don’t see them a lot,” hoseok admitted. taehyung had known this about him for a while now, it was one of his coping mechanisms, hoseok couldn’t do long distant relationships if his life depended on it. “and then,” he held out a peace sign, indicating he was on the second step, “i would try to break my feelings off for the guy because i love my sister a lot and that’s just a really messy situation to be in.”
taehyung let out a sarcastic laugh, he definitely knew how messy the situation was.
“but…” hoseok’s tone of voice changed suddenly, it was lighter, airier. “i think it really depends on the situation.”
“why do you say that?” wondered taehyung.
“because knowing my sister, she doesn’t really do serious relationships. she likes to date around,” hoseok answered, “she wouldn’t care if i suddenly had feelings for some guy she used to date.”
but taewon and jeongguk are still together, thought taehyung.
hoseok spoke up again looking over at taehyung seriously, “plus, you can’t really help who you’re attracted to, can you?”
taehyung’s lips drew into a thin line, and he leaned backwards until his back hit his mattress again. he wished jeongguk could do something so repulsive that it’d turn him off. but from the way jeongguk looked, to the way he acted—especially around him, taehyung really didn’t think there was anything jeongguk could do to drive him away. even the fact that jeongguk was dating his brother did nothing to deter him, oh boy.
there was a hint of suspicion in hoseok’s voice, like he knew something when he said, “why do you ask?”
and there was the question taehyung was afraid of being asked.
he stared up at the ceiling as he tried to think of a reasonable answer. “there was an episode from this drama,” taehyung started, “this girl fell for her boyfriend’s sister…” he honestly had no idea where he was going with this, he just knew it needed to sound like it had nothing to do with him. “i was just wondering what it would be like in the other position,” taehyung thought he sounded pretty convincing so far, “like if the sister fell for her brother’s girlfriend…”
“sounds like a drama-packed show,” remarked hoseok.
taehyung exhaled heavily before replying, “it’s a dramatic show indeed.”
THE POINT WHERE TAEHYUNG STARTED thinking that his life was just one big drama was later that night. hoseok had gone home after they spent another couple of hours studying, taehyung had actually managed to contain some of the words he read from his textbook.
the house was quiet, his parents were in bed for the night, and taehyung hadn’t realized how late it was until he finally got into his own bed as well. it was past two in the morning and taehyung regretted staying up so late because he knew he had class the next morning. regardless if the class started at 10am or not, waking up for a morning class was something he’d always struggle with.
taehyung had last seen his brother walking to his room a few hours earlier when he went downstairs to get a snack from the kitchen. he knew taewon had school the next morning, but he was wrong in assuming that his brother went to bed. because now, taehyung could hear noises from his bedroom next door.
they’d always shared a wall growing up, and while taewon was more active than taehyung… he had never faced this problem before. sure there was the usual ‘turn down your music, i’m trying to take a nap!’ or ‘stop fucking masturbating so loud, what the fuck taewon!’
but now it was ‘there’s no way in hell you’re having sex at this time of the night!’
because what the fuck…
firstly, it was almost three in the morning and taewon was still in high school, meaning he had to be up at the crack of dawn the next day. secondly, how dare he even attempt to have sex while their parents were still in the house. (taewon was braver than taehyung would ever be.) and thirdly, oh my fucking god, he was having sex with jeongguk.
taehyung was under his comforter, idly scrolling through his phone trying to fall asleep when he heard the first moan. and yeah, taehyung was very familiar with the sounds of his brother’s moans, they shared a wall after all. he knew whether his brother was pleasing himself or if he was being pleased by someone else. and taehyung knew it was the latter when he heard a moan that didn’t come from his brother.
no, no, no, no, this can’t be happening right now, thought taehyung. and yep, the moan he just heard had come from jeongguk.
jeongguk, who was someone that taehyung liked. jeongguk, who was dating his brother. jeongguk, who was someone he shouldn’t like because he was dating his brother.
taehyung’s eyes widened when it finally hit him that he was listening to taewon and jeongguk having sex. he didn’t know how someone could feel disgusted and aroused at the same time, but that was taehyung right now. disgusted because it was taewon having sex, and aroused because well, it was jeongguk having sex.
and taewon was the biggest bottom, which taehyung knew from the multiple times taewon had told him stories of his experiences. so that meant jeongguk was probably balls deep inside of his brother right now and that made taehyung feel sick to his stomach—there was a hint of jealousy lurking there too but taehyung shook the thought away quickly.
it got worse when suddenly, “faster,” could be heard through the wall.
that was taewon whining for jeongguk to go faster. which was also the turning point for taehyung. “nope, i can’t fucking do this right now,” taehyung gritted through his teeth out of frustration. he set his phone down and turned to lay on his stomach; grabbing his pillow, he placed it behind his head and curled its sides to cover his ears. he needed to muffle the sounds coming from them or he thought he’d go mad.
taehyung couldn’t believe he was actually in this predicament. he found it so ironic how it was only earlier that day that he had bumped into jeongguk after he had just gotten out of the shower—all wet and half-naked. and now here he was knowing what jeongguk sounded like when he was having sex. his life really was something out of a drama show.
it didn’t work, the pillow made the sounds less distinct, yes, but now he could picture jeongguk perfectly. when taehyung bumped into jeongguk earlier that day, the image of jeongguk’s wet chest had ingrained itself into taehyung’s mind. he could easily imagine the way jeongguk’s muscles would strain if he wanted to thrust harder, the way his hands would look gripping the sheets, and the way jeongguk’s lower abdomen would tense up when he came. it was pure torture, curse his creative mind.
and before taehyung knew it, arousal overcame him.
the sounds coming from jeongguk easily overpowered the ones coming from his brother. thank god. and so of course taehyung’s thoughts started to conjure up intimate images of the other. he already knew what jeongguk looked like half-naked so imagining him fully naked didn’t require much effort. a soft whimper suddenly left taehyung’s mouth when he realized he felt himself getting hard. fuck, i wish i had some ear plugs right now…
he couldn’t help the images of a naked jeongguk flooding his mind. one moment he was picturing innocent things like jeongguk changing in the morning, getting ready for the day and in the next, jeongguk was hastily undressing himself ready to be with a lover. and that killed taehyung because all this time, his feelings for jeongguk were purely that of a crush. but now they’d gotten more heated, they desired something more passionate. taehyung now desperately yearned for jeongguk sexually.
this time a groan was heard through the wall and taehyung felt so helpless—what was he supposed to do in a situation like this? he knew it had come from jeongguk because it didn’t sound like his brother’s at all… taehyung let out a small hiss when suddenly he moved his body to get more comfortable, but the movement added friction to his groin and yeah, he was definitely hard now.
before taehyung could think more of it, he threw his pillow aside making it land on the ground next to his bed and out of frustration, he roughly turned over on his mattress so he was lying on his back. he felt so restless, adrenaline was rushing through his veins and in this position he could feel the heaviness of himself clearly now. every which way taehyung turned his head, hoping for something in his room to capture his attention, a new sound was heard. and with each new sound, the dirtier taehyung’s mind became.
suddenly, taehyung was picturing jeongguk above him, their bare skin touching as jeongguk kissed him deeply. and taehyung could barely catch his breath as he imagined running his hands all over jeongguk’s body, lightly leaving marks behind, placing a kiss wherever his mouth could reach.
so he had a dilemma and there was only one logical explanation... a shiver ran up taehyung’s spine as he slowly slid a hand down his chest aiming for the waistband of his boxers. was he really about to jerk off to the sounds of jeongguk’s moans?
taehyung could waste time to contemplate it over, but his dick wasn’t getting any softer and at this point, he was just too far in to erase all the thoughts. taehyung had come to the conclusion that this wasn’t going away anytime soon. the feelings he had for jeongguk were here to stay, and he could either torture himself over the guilt at how jeongguk was currently unavailable or he could make do with what he had. which was to get a good jerk off session since he literally had jeongguk’s pleasured sounds flooding his room.
a loud exhale left taehyung’s mouth as he eagerly grabbed the comfortable weight between his thighs, and it only took a few lazy strokes to confirm that yes, he really did get hard from listening in on jeongguk having sex (with his brother but that was something he absolutely wasn’t trying to picture). he placed his left arm behind his head to get some leverage as he started to flick his wrist in the best way he knew, he was very familiar with what movements really got him going.
in his head he could practically feel jeongguk’s lips on his own, his body tingled as he pictured jeongguk’s toned muscles against his own softer, more lean muscles. his hand sped up and taehyung was almost embarrassed at how fast he’d already worked himself up. the pleasing sensation of holding himself in his hand while behind his eyes, he was the center of attention to jeongguk. a soft moan escaped his lips and he threw his head back against his mattress when another groan from jeongguk was heard.
the small inkling of guilt was completely thrown aside when taehyung took in how attractive jeongguk sounded, how sensual it all resonated against the walls and then taehyung was thinking about how gentle of a lover jeongguk must be, soft and caring. and next to the pure lust, something melancholic snuck its way through. taehyung whimpered when in the images of his head, jeongguk gave him a loving expression before kissing him.
it was something taehyung could never have in reality.
and now he wanted it desperately. to have jeongguk here next to him, to have his lips on him, and to have the ability to say that they were here together. it hurt, taehyung admitted to himself, that this was the only way he could have jeongguk.
in his thoughts.
he took his time. if taehyung was going to indulge himself without the guilt, he was going to do it the right way. because at the moment, he didn’t care about the consequences. all he wanted in that moment was jeongguk.
jeongguk, jeongguk, jeongguk.
taehyung longed for the boy in the room next to his.
there was a thin line of sweat matting his hairline now which made him hastily kick down his comforter; he shoved his boxer’s mid-thigh and an instant wave of relief washed over him at how much easier it was to get a better grip around himself. he imagined it was jeongguk’s hand. and that really did the trick because then his hips hiked up at the sudden jolt it shot through his body and now he was really feeling it.
taehyung whispered a curse into the room when he gripped the base of his cock, and slid his hand to thumb the slit at the head. the friction was a little dry and he craved for some slickness. but taehyung had no intention of moving, it all felt so intimate and he was afraid of losing that impression. like if he moved positions, the detailed images of jeongguk would vanish and taehyung would rather die than have that happen.
they were close, taehyung could tell from how rushed the sounds were coming through the wall. part of him was glad that it was almost over, but another part of him didn’t want it to end. and he hated himself for not knowing which one he felt stronger.
he pushed that all aside because all he cared for now was reaching his peak. he pumped his hand faster and moved his other arm from behind his head to reach for his balls. taehyung’s eyes practically rolled into the back of his head while he pulled at the loose flesh, hips rising and falling along with the rhythm of his hand wrapped around his cock.
“taewon—”
taehyung let out a soft, defeated whine at hearing jeongguk moan his brother’s name. it just wasn’t fair.
his cheeks felt flushed and he suddenly wished he hadn’t worn a shirt to bed. taehyung could feel his mouth filling with saliva and he kept trying to swallow it back but he was so overwhelmed at the sensation he was giving himself, it was too much. “fuck,” taehyung softly gritted out.
the arousal was so heavy in taehyung’s hand and he zeroed in on the sounds coming from jeongguk again, voice deep but still gentle to the ears. he wished so badly that he was the purpose behind those sounds. and when he gave himself that one final stroke that threw him over the edge, taehyung’s eyes tightly screwed shut and he came into his fist with a quiet gasp.
it was silent for him then, there was a soft buzz in his ears as he lied there on his bed completely spent. his heart was beating hard in his chest and it almost felt like his limbs were frozen as the last waves of his orgasm came over him, his hand had stilled around his cock, softly grasping it.
and so when the first drop of a tear slid from the corner of his eye and into his hairline, taehyung was so shocked that he quickly covered his mouth with the crook of his elbow before he could make a sound. he was suddenly confused, petrified. he didn’t know what to feel right at that moment. he couldn’t understand why his eyes wouldn’t stop tearing up no matter how hard he tried to blink them back. they just kept coming and coming even as he tried to clean himself up. he’d slid the shirt off from his back and wiped up the splatters of come with a blurry vision.
taehyung felt pathetic. he just jerked off to jeongguk having sex… he felt so disgusted with himself, he knew he shouldn’t have gone this far over a guy who was already taken.
all this pining was hurting his heart.
he didn’t know when but the activity in the other room had ceased and taehyung was grateful. he didn’t want to be reminded of what he’d just done. taehyung rubbed at his eyes as he settled back into bed, his nose sniffled while he tried to recompose himself. he needed to sleep, he had class in the morning and he just needed to forget about tonight.
the longing and yearning to be with jeongguk, that was what taehyung fell asleep to that night.
TAEHYUNG WASN’T MUCH OF A COFFEE DRINKER but when he did in fact drink coffee, it was for important circumstances. for instance, like when he had no ounce of sleep the night before because he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he had jerked off to the sounds of jeongguk having sex and in which he also had class in the morning. yeah, it wasn’t his proudest moment. but he liked his coffee with lots of sugar and cream, preferably iced with a generous amount of caramel. so while sipping through the straw of his medium sized caramel frappuccino, he tried to pay attention to the lecture before him.
but at the moment, he couldn’t care less about literary devices—why were they even being lectured on this, didn’t they already learn this in high school? taehyung’s mind was still frazzled over what he’d done the night before and he hated how it was affecting his ability to pay attention in class. jeongguk’s bad for my college career…
he felt foolish, having feelings for a guy who couldn’t reciprocate anything back. taehyung wouldn’t wish this on his worst enemy.
so when he got a notification on his phone and saw that it was a text from jeongguk, well… it was both good and bad.
>>Hey are you on campus today?
yes, taehyung was on campus today and yes his stomach also inhabited butterflies from reading the text over. a simple text asking for his whereabouts and taehyung’s heart felt like it dropped down to his ass. he wouldn’t reply, should he? no because that would be wrong.
>>Was just wondering if you wanted to meet up for coffee :)
taehyung’s eyes quickly glanced over to his professor before reading the new text again. and then a small smile spread across taehyung’s features. a smiley face. cute. he wanted to say yes because another coffee did sound good right about now—his eyelids still felt heavy from lack of sleep. but seeing jeongguk after what happened last night, after jerking off to the sounds of him having sex sounded very messy. he also didn’t have to mention the fact that he cried after as well...
so with a heavy exhale from his mouth, taehyung moved his phone out of sight. he decided on not replying at all, he couldn’t risk it. it seemed that taehyung’s feelings for jeongguk deepened with each passing day, and meeting up with jeongguk would only make it worse. but in the back of his mind, taehyung desperately wanted to go. he kept thinking about the type of conversations they’d have seated at a small table in a coffee shop, clutching their hot drinks in their hands while just chatting.
his heart felt heavy in his chest, why taehyung chose to think of such sad thoughts was beyond him. but damn, he wanted it. to be able to lounge back in his chair, sip at his hot drink and laugh over whatever funny thing jeongguk would tell him.
taehyung felt bad for ignoring jeongguk’s texts but he had to do it, it was what was best for him and his situation.
so before he knew it, his professor was declaring it the end of class and his classmates were shuffling around putting their stuff away and heading for the exit quicker than taehyung could blink. it was noon and taehyung’s next class wasn’t for another hour, this was the usual time of day where he’d either take a quick nap in jimin’s dorm or go to the library to waste time. and initially, taking a nap on jimin’s soft bed sounded more than amazing but as he left the literature building and stepped foot outside, a cold gust of wind hitting him made taehyung change his mind.
it was mid-october and it was unusually cold for this time of the year, taehyung had a beanie on his head and a mask covering the lower part of his face when he suddenly felt the urge to drink something hot. after he had finished his cold coffee during class, he had a craving for some hot chocolate and he knew this one coffee place near campus that made the best french vanilla flavored hot chocolate.
truth be told, he really did need the caffeine. his one o’clock class was one of his more important subjects where he couldn’t afford to miss the credit hours. a different aspect of his graphic design class and he needed to be alert for it.
as he strolled across the concrete pathway while passing students, he took in the scenery. he loved autumn, seeing the leaves change in color was serene for him and these past couple of weeks had been a bit stressful so he did appreciate the tranquility that mother nature offered him. it wasn’t like he lived a hectic lifestyle, it was just that the unrequited love in his life had been a little taxing on him.
taehyung wished there was some button he could press to make it all end. he didn’t want to feel like this anymore, his life had been so much easier back when jeongguk didn’t exist to him.
and because the universe just loved to prove taehyung wrong…
out of the five different coffee shops that were near campus, of course the one taehyung chose to go to was the one where jeongguk would be at. taehyung had just ordered his hot chocolate and was waiting in line for his drink when he spotted jeongguk sitting at one of the tables. his eyes widened and his back tensed up, he wondered how he didn’t see the boy when he first walked in.
jeongguk had his airpods in his ears, and he was typing away on his laptop. every piece of clothing covering his body was black in color. and taehyung found it funny how jeongguk was obviously trying to stay discreet amongst the other customers, his hoodie was over his head and he was slouched back in his chair. but taehyung still noticed him.
taehyung tried to slowly hide behind the person in front of him in line, taking small steps in hope that jeongguk didn’t catch the movement if he were to look over. how embarrassing would it be if jeongguk were to spot taehyung after he had offered him to get some coffee in which taehyung ignored his request…
if he could just get his hot chocolate already so he could hurry on out of here, that would be great.
“taehyung!” the barista behind the counter called out, indicating his drink was ready.
taehyung inwardly groaned, his teeth were gritted. he didn’t dare look back over at jeongguk in case he heard his name being called. he quickly stepped forward to the barista and grabbed his drink. he had to force himself not to give the poor employee a dirty look—how would he have known that taehyung was trying to hide from someone and shouting out his name wasn’t helping the cause.
he was ready to make his abrupt exit, but right when he turned to leave, his gaze set on where jeongguk was seated and he found the boy looking directly at him.
“taehyung!” jeongguk softly called out from across the room. his hand shot out, waving to get taehyung’s attention. there was a wide smile on his face and he looked genuinely happy to see taehyung.
…which killed taehyung on the inside.
there was no way around it now. if he walked away without acknowledging jeongguk, it would just be plain rude and taehyung would feel bad for the rest of the day. he could already picture the hurt expression on jeongguk’s face. which was the reason why taehyung pulled his face mask down, lowering it right under his chin and put on the brightest smile he could muster up in that moment and started walking in jeongguk’s direction. taehyung’s heart started to race as he got closer to his table, he didn’t know why he felt so anxious.
but nevertheless, he pulled back the empty chair across from jeongguk while setting his backpack on the ground next to his feet and sat down. "hey," taehyung started, "sorry i didn't reply to your texts, i was in class." it was a lousy excuse but it was all taehyung could think of in the moment.
jeongguk shook his head, smiling, "that's okay, you still made it here."
taehyung watched as jeongguk pulled his hoodie off from his head and ran his fingers through his hair. he had to look away because all of a sudden, images from last night swarmed his head and all taehyung could think about was that he jerked off to jeongguk and that really wasn't something he was trying to think of with jeongguk right in front of him.
"did you just get out of class?" asked jeongguk.
"yeah," taehyung replied as he looked down at his phone to check the time. he had forty-five minutes before his next class started, which meant he had at least a good thirty minutes to spend with jeongguk. his heart fluttered at the thought because it almost felt like the beginning of a date for them. but then he remembered that it couldn't be a possibility with jeongguk dating his brother... jeongguk's fingers glided along his keyboard and taehyung was interested. "you writing a paper?" questioned taehyung, trying to move the conversation further.
jeongguk sighed before answering, "i'm trying to," he chuckled. "it's actually an extra credit assignment for one of my clinical classes."
that was right, taehyung remembered that day back at the library when he saw jeongguk trying to write a paper on physical therapy. but to act coy, he asked jeongguk what his major was. he couldn't let jeongguk know that taehyung knew such a minuscule detail about him. that was what his logic told him.
a small smile formed on jeongguk's face, "i wanna be a sports physical therapist." his gaze dropped from taehyung to his laptop screen before looking back up at taehyung’s face, with a sure voice he added, "i've been athletic all my life, but i knew i didn't want to a pursue a career in professional sports." jeongguk quitting the baseball team made more sense to taehyung now. then he explained on with, "i still wanted to be around that environment though, you know?"
"no, not really," joked taehyung which resulted in making jeongguk laugh at the blunt answer. pride swelled in taehyung's heart from the action.
he didn't mean to answer with such a straightforward tone but taehyung really didn't know how to act around jeongguk right now, he felt like he was stepping on shards of glass. when jeongguk shook his head and took a sip from his coffee, taehyung watched his every movement. something told him that he wouldn't be seeing much of jeongguk eventually and he wanted to savor every little thing he could catch from the boy before it was too late.
"taewon uh— he mentioned that you draw?" jeongguk's voice came out unsure as if he was entering uncharted territory.
taehyung straightened himself in his seat when he heard his brother's name, he then adjusted the glasses on his face. he didn't know why he thought his brother wouldn't be brought up in conversation between them. he also didn't understand why there was this little burst of hope inside of him that maybe taewon wouldn't be mentioned once throughout this talk and that somehow they'd got lost in their own little world talking about anything—taehyung quickly shut that idea down.
clearing his throat, taehyung replied, "graphic design, yeah." a slight blush rose to his cheeks making him wish that he still had his mask covering half his face. "it's silly, but it's what i'm passionate in, i guess," he shrugged his shoulders, trying to act aloof as if talking about something that genuinely made him happy wasn't of much importance.
"i think that's really cool, taehyung," jeongguk admitted, his smile reached across the table hoping the assurance was apparent to taehyung. “why choose a career in something you have no passion for, right?”
“right,” stated taehyung in his deep voice, agreeing with jeongguk. he was glad jeongguk wasn’t one of those people who’d rant about how useless it was to pursue a career in the arts, though he never gave taehyung that impression in the first place. “like i get why someone would wanna be a doctor because of the money, but if you don’t like to help people, then you chose the wrong career path, buddy.”
jeongguk laughed at taehyung’s remark, bright and airy making his eyes squint and creating creases around them. the sound made taehyung’s stomach pleasantly turn and he found himself laughing along, it was hard not to.
“you’re absolutely right,” a cheeky smile displayed itself on jeongguk’s face, enticing while inviting at the same time. he licked his lips before saying, “it’s really nice talking to you taehyung, you’re not like—”
taehyung quickly cut him off, abruptly finishing jeongguk’s statement, “most guys, yeah i know. trust me.” the comment didn’t hurt, he was kind of used to it at this point in his life but coming from jeongguk, it made him feel a little uneasy. he knew he was different, whether people looked at it in a good way or a bad way, he didn’t care.
a noise came from jeongguk, he almost sounded offended that taehyung would think that way. “no, not at all,” jeongguk rebuked, shaking his head wildly. “i was gonna say you’re not like your brother.”
“oh?” taehyung was intrigued, “how so?”
“well, i mean,” jeongguk started, looking away from taehyung, “your brother and i don’t do much talking and uh—”
“never mind, don’t explain,” chuckled taehyung, he really didn’t want to hear this right now, or any other time if he was being honest.
jeongguk laughed once again and it brought taehyung back to his senses. he hadn’t noticed at first how it felt like it was just the two of them in the cafe. the noise from the coffee machines sounded in his ears along with the low commotion of the other customers, they’d been in their own little world like he’d hoped and taehyung had embraced it. everything had ceased to a stop for them.
“i’m gonna try and write a paragraph,” jeongguk spoke up, pointing a finger at his laptop screen, “okay?”
taehyung nodded his head, softly smiling at the other, “yeah of course, go ahead.”
he took the time to check his phone and saw a notification from jimin, ‘where u at?’ it read. taehyung was half tempted to text back saying that he was with jeongguk, curious to find out what jimin’s reaction would be. but then again, they were literally just talking, nothing scandalous was going on. although to taehyung, it didn’t feel that way with how rapidly his heart was beating in his chest.
out of the corner of his eye, taehyung kept sending glances towards jeongguk when he turned in his chair, leaning back to get more situated. hopefully he was being discreet, a few thumb scrolls of his phone, then his eyes would lock on jeongguk again. he really needed to quit before he was caught—
jeongguk looked up from his laptop screen. their eyes met and taehyung quickly looked away before looking back. there was a soft smile on jeongguk’s face but this time his eyes were back on the screen.
to stop himself from going insane, taehyung settled on texting jimin back.
<<got some hot chocolate
<<killing time before my 1pm class
it was simply easy just sitting there in jeongguk’s presence, he no longer felt anxious around him. he had no reason to be when jeongguk was so friendly towards him, and it wasn’t like jeongguk knew anything about the way taehyung felt for him. taehyung had a good poker face when it came to situations like this, either that or his heart was right there on his sleeve. also with jeongguk and taewon being an item, showcasing his feelings for his brother’s boyfriend would’ve been the worst possible thing ever.
and it always came back to that.
them being an item. taehyung having feelings for jeongguk. unrequited love.
how wicked it was to have his heart broken before even getting the chance of being rejected. the physical pain in his heart, the achiness, it was all worth it though.
of course it was one of the most difficult experiences of taehyung’s life, having feelings for someone and not being able to express them. if taehyung were to look at jeongguk with adoration, desire in his eyes... he knew jeongguk looked at taewon like that. someone who wasn’t him, with the same look that taehyung wished he would get from jeongguk.
having feelings for someone in a relationship was selfish. taehyung knew this.
the secret fantasies taehyung had conjured up in the deep, dark pits of his mind. they were recent thoughts; it was the first time taehyung had actually acknowledged them. taewon and jeongguk breaking up, jeongguk realizing he had feelings for taehyung as well. creating stories in his head of how one day jeongguk would pull him aside, tell him he broke up with taewon, and then to make it all perfect, it’d end in a passionate kiss.
it was foul how happy taehyung would be if they broke up. but the feelings he had for jeongguk made him want it so badly.
it had never been his intent, taehyung never came into this situation meaning to fall for him. but that night at the party, taehyung realized his mistake now. if only he had left sooner, left right after jeongguk walked into the kitchen, it sure as hell would’ve saved him some heart break. because taehyung came to the conclusion that that was the moment where it all started. back on that patio, when they had shared some nice words and taehyung’s error had made an appearance.
he had wanted a kiss. how foolish of him.
and frankly, having feelings for someone who was in a relationship fucking sucked. taehyung wanted to be friends and stay friends with jeongguk, he did, he really did. but then he would get the wrong idea; some nice, wholesome conversations didn’t equate to infatuation. it would just put more fantasies in taehyung’s head of them being together.
the thoughts and feelings were exploding all around taehyung, he didn’t know which direction to turn to. stay friends and suffer knowing that it was all they’d ever be? or do something terribly stupid like confess?
but like the saying went, better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
“taehyung?”
jeongguk’s voice brought taehyung out of his morbid thoughts suddenly. he realized he had been spacing out, somewhere along the way, he had brought his hot chocolate towards his mouth to take a sip but it had never met his lips. taehyung chuckled, “sorry, i just realized i have an assignment due before next class and i never actually finished it.”
it was a lie. of course it was lie.
“oh shit,” jeongguk replied, giving him a sympathetic look. “did you wanna use my laptop to finish it?”
please, stop being nice to me... taehyung offered him a thankful smile, “it’s for my graphic design class so i need my tablet, but thank you.” and he really meant it, a simply thoughtful offer from jeongguk but it meant the world to taehyung.
he started getting up from his seat, securing his glasses on his nose, moving his hand to bring his mask over his mouth again when jeongguk spoke up.
“good luck on it.” there was a hopeful smile on jeongguk’s face when he said it.
taehyung gave him a nod, quickly looking away. and with that, he pulled his backpack over his shoulders and walked towards the exit before the heart wrenching feeling in his chest made him do something idiotic like stay.