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Unforgettable

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Clarke could hardly stand still next to Jackson in line due to her excitement. "Today’s the day" she told herself "Soon I’ll be on a ship flying through the galaxy."

Trying to keep her cool, Clarke forced her feet to stop tapping on the metal floors of the hanger beneath her feet, and instead focus on her Captain’s voice.

Thelonious Jaha stood in front of his crew and visibly looked them over. For at least the next three years of her life Clarke would be in space with only the people around her. For Clarke, it never mattered what she was doing in space as long as she was in space.

Ever since she was a little girl, Clarke always knew she wanted to go to space. She had managed, much with her mother’s persuasion, to land a job as a nurse on the A.R.K 100. Now, Clarke stood with some of her closest friends waiting to board the ship that would quite possibly fill her entire future.

Since their academy days, Clarke and her closest friends were determined to all board the same ship. Her best friend since practically birth, Raven, had managed to score a perfect score on her engineering test, and landed a job as Assistant Chief Engineer. The brother and sister duo, Bellamy and Octavia, as well as Jasper, Monty, Monroe, Harper, and Finn were all people they met whilst at the academy and had become fast friends. Bellamy had gotten his dream job as Security Chief. Octavia had originally wanted to join a Federation Starfleet but couldn’t due to her age, so she resigned to becoming a Communications Officer until she was old enough to join the Federation. Monty and Jasper had both entered the Science department, with Monty being Chief Science Officer and Jasper his Assistant. Harper doubled as a Navigator and a second Communications officer if Octavia were to leave the ship for exploration. Monroe had ended up Chief Tactical Officer and Finn the Intelligence Officer. That left her longtime friend, Wells Jaha, who was the Conn Officer.

Clarke often felt like she hadn’t accomplished much when compared to her friends who were the leads and Assistants of their departments while Clarke herself was only a nurse. Her mother assured her had there been more medical positions open she would have been a doctor but Clarke had her doubts.

A sharp jab to her ribs pulled Clarke out of her head and she looked to her left where Raven now stood beside her.

“Clarke! Are you coming or what?” Raven asked in an exasperated tone.

Clarke looked in front of her to see her friends had formed a somewhat half circle around her, each giving her a somewhat expectant look. The only person absent from this group was Wells and Clarke had almost grown accustomed to his absence as of late. However, next to Jasper was a familiar face, but not someone she had expected to see.

“Murphy?” Clarke asked, her confusion evident.

He gave her a crooked smile, “Hey Princess, guess who managed to snag a last minute place as an engineer?”

Harper smiled, “Hey, we all made it!”

Across the hanger bay Clarke heard her mom call out, “Clarke, C’mon we’re leaving!”

Clarke and her friends made their way over to the A.R.K 100 and walked up the boarding ramp. The night before Clarke had made sure to study all the schematics for the ship she could find but reading about a ship and standing on one were two different things. The A.R.K was by no means a large ship, in fact it was rather small due to the fact it was only an exploration ship, but Clarke’s jaw dropped nonetheless.

“Whew,” Octavia whistled, “This should be fun.”

With that, Clarke exchanged one final look at the hanger behind her, shared a nod with her friends, and hurried off to find the medbay before takeoff.

Chapter Text

It had been officially 24 hours since Clarke boarded the A.R.K 100, but the novelty had yet to wear off. For her, she supposed it never would.

Walking to the Mess Hall to meet up with her friends for lunch Clarke pondered what she would do with the rest of her day. Since Jackson and Abby, along with a few of the other four nurses would be remaining in the medbay, Clarke was free to roam the ship. Yesterday had been a full day of stocking the medicine cabinets and memorizing where everything was, but now that that was done and no one was currently sick or injured Clarke was almost just a passenger on the ship.

Making a left turn Clarke bumped into someone and looked up to find an unfamiliar face.

“Sorry about that,” he replied with a small smile.

“No, I should have been watching were I was going,” Clarke replied, mentally trying to figure out who the man in front of her was. The man in front of her was a few years older than herself with salt and pepper hair and kind dark eyes. He stood a good head taller than Clarke and she found herself having to look up to talk to him. “I’m sorry, have we met? You seem familiar.”

His smile broadened and Clarke got the impression he had a kind soul. “I’m sure we have, I’ve helped your mother out a few times. I’m Sinclair, Chief Engineer.”

Clarke briefly remembered see the man slip into the med bay yesterday to make sure the computers were working. “Oh, well I’m Clarke, nice to meet you.”

They shared a smile before Sinclair continued down the hall and Clarke walked the rest of the way to the Mess Hall.

Upon sitting down at the table with her tray Clarke was immediately pulled into a discussion her friends were having.

“Clarke, please tell Bellamy that the A.R.K was not a fighting ship and there’s no way in hell we’ll be going into battle in this thing!” Raven all but shouted.

Harper let out a sigh, “I’m sorry Bell, but this ship isn’t going anyway near the war zone.”

Bellamy visibly deflated, “But don’t you guys feel like we should be helping to do something instead of sitting here?”

Jasper set down his sandwich and turned to face Bellamy, “I’m sorry, but have you seen some of us? Could you imagine me, Monty, and Harper charging into battle? Yeah, I think not. Not everyone is born battle ready like you and Monroe.”

Monroe grinned at the obvious complement. It was no secret that Monroe would have been on a Federation ship had she not wanted to stay closer to Harper. The two weren’t together yet, but had been close ever since meeting their second year of academy. Just as Finn was opening his mouth to contribute to the discussion the speakers overhead cut on as the First Officer, Marcus Kane, made an announcement.

“Can I have Bellamy Blake, Finn Collins, Monty Green, Clarke Griffin, Raven Reyes, and Octavia Blake report to the helm? I repeat, can I have Bellamy Blake, Finn Collins, Monty-”

Clarke exchanged a look with her friends before jumping up and practically bolting out of the Mess Hall. By the tone of Kane’s voice it was nothing serious, but the excitement that she might get to go on an exploration on her second day was too great for her to pass up.

When she reached the hallway to the helm she slowed her place so she didn’t make a fool of herself and walked confidently into the room where her mom was already waiting. A few minutes after Clarke herself showed up the rest of her friends came busting into the helm and stopped when they reached Clarke’s side.

Jaha stood from his Captain's chair and turned to address the group. “As you all know, roughly three hours ago we entered the outskirts of the Null Sector. A few days prior to our arrival a Federation ship sent a team of four to try and defuse a situation happening on one of the planets. They were unsuccessful and captured by Anti-Federation outlaws who staged the whole thing. They managed to send out a distress signal and since we were the closest ship we have been ordered by the Federation to send a team to assist the original landing party. I know this isn’t what you signed up for and won’t blame you if you’d rather not go on the mission but this is a war effort and your help will be rewarded. Any questions?”

The group was silent for a moment, some shocked, some excited, others just confused, but eventually Finn broke the silence.

His eyebrows were furrowed and his face in a light scowl, “I’m sorry sir, but why can’t the ship send in their own reinforcements?” It was a valid question but Clarke couldn’t see the point in asking. If the Federation was asking for an exploration ship to step in and help there was obviously a good reason for it.

“Their current ship, The U.S.S Grounder, was is off in another sector getting repairs. They originally hadn't expected the attack and assumed that it was safe to leave the group there. Now the ship is in repairs and couldn’t make the journey back for another few weeks.” Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Finn stood quietly in the back of the ground with his arms crossed.

“Excuse me, sir, but why do you need me? The others I understand but I’m an engineer, what could I possibly do on a rescue mission?” Raven asked.

Jaha smiled, “You, Raven, are going to get the group out of their current prison bunker. By any means necessary.” A devlish smirk appeared on Raven's face, aparrently the engineer already had a few ideas in mind.

Chapter Text

Lexa paced the wall of her current confinement for possibly the millionth time, one arm clutching her midsection while the other rested on top of it, her chin gripped in her forefinger and thumb. Deep in though she missed the way her First Officer eyed her before stepping in front of her and grabbing her shoulders, effectively stopping her in her tracks.

“Commander,” Anya tried, Lexa didn’t hear her, too lost in her own forming of plans to notice she’d stopped walking.

Anya waited a beet before softening, “Lexa,” she said calmly.

At the use of her name Lexa’s head shot up and looked into Anya’s sharp dark eyes. She smiled, “You’re going to wear a trench into the ground with all of your pacing.”

Lexa grinned, accustomed to her best friend and First Officer making jokes even in the most dire of situations. With a raised brow she quipped, “Who knows? Maybe that’s my great escape plan.”

Off to her left, Lincoln snorted from his current place on the floor, “I’m sure.”

They had been stuck in their cell for just over two days, rationing the little supplies Nyko, the Chief Medical Officer, had brought.

Lexa knew, realistically, they had a very little chance of escape as their ship was at least three sectors over by now in who knows how many pieces. However, Lexa refused to let this be that way she died and since being placed in their shared cell had not stopped planning. There were no guards, no other prisoners, no one. Whatever party had attacked them had been well armed and left shortly after placing their prisoners in custody. Their weapons had been placed in a bag in the cell across from them and Lexa had spent a good three hours on their first day trying every way she could to get to them.

Their cell wasn’t big, maybe fifteen feet along every wall, but it didn’t need to be, there was only four of them. However, Lexa had grown up in a very spacious forest and could hardly stand being confined to this cage. She could see in subtle ways how it was starting to affect Nyko and Lincoln too. From the stiff way Lincoln held his jaw or slowly eased his hand in and out of a fist to the ways Nyko would stretch more often than he needed to, or tap his foot.

Anya however, wasn’t as bothered by their confines. It annoyed her, yes, but growing up in a vast land of ice one grew accustomed to staying in small confinements for warmth.

Lexa looked down at Anya’s arm when she slipped it through her own, and allowed herself to be led over to the far wall to sit.

The four remained in silence for a bit longer, thinking about what might happen were they not to escape.

Lexa’s mind wandered to Costia, her ship’s Counselor. She wondered briefly if the other woman would miss her. It was no secret the two messed around on occasion but Lexa had never intended for it to be anything other than it was.

A passtime.

Sure, she and Costia would go on “dates” and often spend time together when they were both free but Lexa had never thought about how they would act were they not in the ship. With a shake of her head she dismissed the thoughts, not wanting to entertain the idea of something that would never happen and instead focused on making an escape plan.

After a while Lincoln moved over to sit to Lexa’s left, Nyko to Anya’s right. The four huddled together for warmth as the planet’s temperature started to drop, signifying the beginning of night. All being very close and familiar to one another they didn’t mind the position they found themselves and instead tried to get some rest. Lexa was notorious for being a very skilled Commander, yet a very caring leader to those she led. Her crew were all very close and would take a bullet for one another without a moment’s hesitation.

With Lincoln’s arm around her shoulders and Anya’s head on her chest, along with Nyko’s arm across her center Lexa couldn't help but smile at the little family she’d created with her crew. She eventually fell asleep that way, long after all the other’s had, as she made sure no danger came there way, with a small smile on her face.

Chapter Text

Clarke took a moment to get her bearings after beaming down to the planet she now found herself on.

The ground beneath her feet was dusty yet course and before Clarke had the chance to bend down and touch it Bellamy’s voice sounded from behind her.

“Remember, heads up, we don’t know who took the other group and whether or not they’re still there.”

Clarke turned around to look at the group that had come with her. Bellamy as their protection, Octavia as their way to communicate with the ship, Finn as their bridge to whatever kind of people they may encounter while here, her mother as head doctor and Raven as the tech. Monty had backed out of the mission and Jasper had taken his place to gather notes on the planet and their surroundings. Clarke herself was here as her mother’s assistant, or head doctor should her mother need to beam someone back to the ship or become compromised. As a safety measure, every member of the team had a small blaster, while Bellamy had a rifle.

Together as a group the made their way across the barren desert like plains towards where the distress signal was sent. After walking for about half an hour, the group came across the ruins of a village, most likely destroyed by the war.

Jasper glanced down at the tracking device he held in his boney hands, “According to this, the other group should be in that building over there.” He pointed to a building that was slightly bigger than the rest and looked to be much more put together. Everyone followed his finger and looked at where the presumed captured group was held.

“Well, what are we standing around here for?” Raven piped up from the back of the group before pushing ahead and walking towards the building.

“Raven wait!” Bellamy shouted, drawing his gun and hasting to follow, “You don’t know what’s over there, it could be dangerous!”

Raven rolled her eyes, but did slow her pace some. Clarke stole a glance at her mother who was eyeing the village with her careful eyes, but said nothing as she moved to catch up with the rest of the group.

They walked in silence, Raven and Bellamy leading the group with Abby in the back with a slightly apprehensive Jasper. Clarke was admiring her surroundings when a sharp cry from behind of her made her snap her attention to the back of the group.

Jasper was laying on the ground clutching something that protruded from his chest, after a moment Clarke realized it was an arrow. Blood started to seep out of his chest and discolor the sandy soil beneath him. Abby turned and rushed to Jasper’s side while Bellamy brought his rifle up to his chest. Clarke drew her blaster and started to scan the horizon. From one of the rooftops she saw a glint of metal “Bellamy is that-” was all she got out before an arrow whizzed by her head, just barely nicking her cheek. Unfortunately while it only nicked Clarke’s cheek it did graze Octavia’s calf. Clarke’s mind whirled to try and asses the situation but all her thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt when Bellamy fired his gun from beside her. Clarke watched, feet glued to the ground as a figure cloaked in all black fell from the top of a roof.

"He killed a man. Bellamy, just shot a man. A living, breathing, man." Was Clarke’s only thought before a shocked Octavia called out, “Clarke! Are you okay?”

Clarke took a steadying breath, and closed her eyes for a moment. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She turned to her mom, “How’s your leg? How’s Jasper?”

Abby was already cutting away the shirt Jasper was wearing and Clarke barely suppressed a grimace at the amount of blood seeping from his chest. From the placement, Clarke knew it had just missed any vital organs, still, he would be laid up in bed for a while.

“I need to get him back so he doesn’t bleed out,” Clarke watched as her mom slipped into doctor mode. Her tone steady and formal, lips drawn tant and brows furrowed.

Octavia pulled her communicator from her belt, “Harper, beam Doctor Griffin and Jasper up please.” Octavia’s voice shook with worry and she watched Jasper with concern in her eyes.

Abby looked to the group with apprehension in her eyes, lingering longer on Clarke, “Please, be safe?”

Raven shot her a crooked smile, “Of course, when aren't we?” Abby opened her mouth, probably to make sure Raven understood the situation but before she could say anything Abby and Jasper had been beamed back up to the ship.

Bellamy sighed, “Right, well, I guess we keep going?”

Finn scoffed, “See, this is why they should have their own damn crew come after them. We don’t even know these people!”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Finn’s outburst and continued forward, Bellamy and Octavia at her heels.

“What, you’re just going to keep going forward?” he asked, anger evident in her tone.

Clarke was about to turn on him, but Octavia beat her to it. “Are you kidding me right now?” anger shook her voice and her sky blue eyes were ablaze, “This is still a rescue mission and after what happened to Jasper I think you owe it to him to keep going! I’m not about to stop now!” Octavia had cleared the space between them and now had her finger jabbed into Finn’s chest. Finn, for his part, looked shocked at Octavia’s anger and held his tongue.

“At least let me put a wrap around your leg,” Clarke added, shooting Octavia a look that said "Don’t even try to say no."

After Clarke wrapped up the little cut on Octavia’s leg with a “I’m going to look at this later.” Octavia went to join her brother at the front of the group, Finn on her heels looking quite annoyed. In that moment Clarke was glad she had broken up with someone so selfish.

The rest of their way to the building went without hitch minus the two or three rocks Raven tripped on. When they arrived at the door, Raven knelt before the suspiciously new keypad and began to start fiddling with the wires. After about ten tense minutes the door flew open and they were greeted with a prison of sorts.

Bellamy lifted his gun and slowly crept down the hallway stopping to glance longer at one cell in particular before doubling back and signaling the others to come in. When Clarke approached the cell she was vaguely aware of the three people behind her, and the three other people in the cell and Bellamy ahead of her, but all of her attention was drawn to one prisoner in particular. She stood in a protective fighting stance in front of the other three members of her group. The way she stood, smooth jaw set, mouth taunt, eyes focused, you’d never know she was a prisoner. When Clarke’s own blue eyes met the woman’s bright, piercing green stare she drew in a audible breath. She was by far the most beautiful woman Clarke had ever seen and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the other woman’s hard stare. Clarke’s eyes hungrily took in every detail of the other woman’s face, committing every feature to memory. The way her light brown, wild curls were pulled back into a series of intricate braids that Clarke could study for days and still not figure out. The woman held an air of mystery and power, and Clarke wanted nothing but to know all her little quirks. To figure out all the little things that made her unique.

The two groups stood in silence for a moment, each eying the other up, or in the case of Clarke, Octavia, and Raven, checking the other out.

Finn eventually cleared his throat and did his job and addressed the group, “Hello, I’m Intelligence Officer Finn Collins of the A.R.K 100. We were told by the Federation to come and assist in anyway we could after they received word of your distress signal. How can we help?”

Clarke was shocked by the formality of his voice when only moments earlier he was complaining about the rescue mission. However when Clarke looked over she saw a familiar glint in his eyes, and confident smirk on his face. Clarke’s blood boiled when she found that gaze to be trained on the woman with the green eyes.

The four gracefully dropped from their flawless fighting stances and stood to their full height. All four of them held themselves like generals and the sight of them sent a slight edge of fear in Clarke. However, out of them all, the woman with the green eyes was by far the most intimidating, even though the slightly shorter woman to her left was a close second. Due to their coats Clarke couldn’t see their suits to see their ranks but she guessed that the woman in the middle was in charge.

When Finn spoke her only acknowledgment was to raise her chin slightly. After a few long moments of silence waited with bated breath, she spoke and Clarke almost melted at the smooth velvety tone that was her voice. "I am Admiral Lexa Woods of U.S.S Grounder, thank you for your assistance in this sensitive matter. To my left is my First Officer Anya Woods, to my right, my Intelligence Officer Lincoln Woods, and finally to the left of my First Officer, my Chief Medical Officer Nyko.” Clarke didn’t miss the way she eyed each member of her group as she spoke with great pride about her crew. She hung on every one of her words as the Admiral in front of her practically radiated the demand for attention and respect. Not that Clarke minded staring at the beautiful brunette with intricate braids in front of her.

Octavia spoke up from where she had previously been staring the Intelligence Officer, “I’m going to step outside and contact our ship so they can prepare to beam us up.” Octavia wasted no time in walking back down and out of the hallway.

Clarke knew full well that the communicator would work just fine from in here and suspected it had something to do with the hunk of an Intelligence Officer standing in front of them. Judging from the Admiral’s raised eyebrow she knew it too.

It was then Clarke noticed how young the crew was, all of them not seeming that much older than herself save for Nyko who might’ve had a few years on her. She briefly wondered how they had gotten into the Federation if they were so young, with such high positions too. Just as she was about to ask, Raven and Bellamy picked the lock on the cell door and the crew in question came boldly from their cell. The Admiral, Lexa, walked out with her chin held high and hands clasped behind her back. Had it been anyone else, Clarke would have laughed at the prospect of someone walking out of a prison cell that way. However, as it was, the Admiral walked out of the cell with purpose and Clarke had no doubts in her mind that this woman was a formidable leader.

The two groups walked outside after grabbing the crew’s weapons from the other cell, to meet up with Octavia.

“Say the word Admiral and I’ll have us beamed up,” Octavia said looking Lexa directly in the eyes and Clarke swore she saw a flash of respect cross the Admiral’s eyes before she nodded slightly and Octavia raised the radio to her mouth. Clarke wonder why, for a moment, why Octavia was being to respectful. She didn’t even speak to their Academy officers that way, instead choosing to subject them to her usual snark.

Clarke picked up on the way Lexa’s Intelligence Officer looked at Octavia with obvious interest (much to the same way Clarke was unknowingly looking at Lexa) but noted that instead of ogling Octavia’s assets, he merely did a head to toe once over and looked only to her eyes. Clarke was taken aback by his respectful gesture and wondered if this was a common trait among Lexa’s crew, but halted when she started to ponder when she had switched from referring to Lexa as Admiral, to just Lexa.

There was a surge of light then Clarke found herself back on the A.R.K. She momentarily wondered if this was some sort of training session and she would look around to see the VR room’s walls, but instead found Lexa and her crew. Somehow knowing this was all real, brought a cheeky grin to Clarke’s face, as she looked forward to the oncoming days of the crew’s stay.

Chapter Text

Clarke stood off to one corner of the meeting room next to Raven as they weren’t the heads of their departments but had gone on the rescue mission. Octavia had returned to the helm as she was the Communications Officer (only after Clarke had promised to fill her in on everything she missed). Bellamy sat at his spot at the table, along with her mother and all the other Chief Officers. Jaha and Kane sat at the head of the table that faced the front of the room, where four members of the U.S.S Grounder stood straight with their chins held high and hands clasped behind their back.

Since beaming aboard the crew had removed their coats, and Clarke had been shocked to see them all in similar uniforms, a red sash tied around Lexa’s waist the only indicator of any sort of rank among them. Their Medical Officer, Nyko, did have a white band around his upper bicep, but other than that the crew all wore tight fitting forest green shirts with black sleeves, and fitted black pants.

Now, as they stood in front of her own crew, Clarke could see the clear differences between an Exploration crew, and a Federation crew. None of her crewmates were out of shape, but Clarke’s own soft curves were nothing in comparison to the toned figures before her. Even their healer, Nyko, had abs and defined arms.

Lincoln was by far, the most muscular of them all, and Clarke wondered why he was their Intelligence Officer and not Chief of Security. From head to toe the man had bulging muscles. Not the kind that made a person look gross, or veiny, or ugh, but enough that Clarke really wanted to be on his good side. He was the tallest person in the room, maybe the same height as Jaha, but he had a air of warmth about him. His full lips were drawn in a tight line, but his dark brown eyes seemed warm. His entire body was a dark tan, and his head shaved down to a fine stubble except for the strip down the middle which was a little longer than all the rest. Clarke could see why Octavia was drawn to him, he was her type. However, for Clarke, he was a little on the big side. To much muscle, and a little too tall.

Nyko seemed to be much like Lincoln, his eyes were warm though the hard lines on his face showed he was weathered. Unlike Lincoln a dark brown beard the same colour as his hair adorned his face. His was by far the least muscular of the group, but still held himself in a manner that gave off intimidation.

Completely opposite of the two men was the First Officer, Anya. She was all sharp angles and strong stares. There were distinct definition in her arms and legs, and through her shirt Clarke could make out the lines of her abs. Her slim-catlike eyes were dark and gave nothing away. She had light brown hair with blonde accents that fell neatly over her shoulders in braids, showing her flat, straight nose, and high cheekbones. Clarke knew she was pretty, but couldn’t find what Raven had immediately saw in her as everyone in the room seemed to pale when in comparison to Lexa.

Everytime Lexa moved, Clarke had to stifle a whimper at the play of muscle the action caused. (Raven and Octavia had much of the same problem when it came to Anya and Lincoln). She was a little taller than Clarke herself and much leaner. From under her criminally tight shirt Clarke could make out the outlines of her abs and the jutted points of her hips. And her legs. Clarke swore they went on forever. However, she found herself once again staring into the bright circles of green, that were her eyes.

“Welcome aboard the A.R.K 100, I’m Thelonious Jaha, Captain of this ship.” Clarke almost laughed when he puffed out his chest at his own title, having not yet heard that he was in the presence of an Admiral. Lexa’s lips twitched up in a barely contained smirk and Clarke had to press her legs together. She mentally cursed herself "I’ve only just met this woman today. She shouldn’t have this kind of power over me, but dammit she does things to me."

“I’m Admiral Lexa Woods, this is my First Officer Anya Woods, my Chief Medical Officer Nyko, and Intelligence Officer Lincoln Woods,” her smirk growing when she saw how Jaha slumped in his seat in the presence of such authority.

Abby’s brows furrowed, “A family? You must have been very lucky to all be in the same ship together, I was only able to get my daughter on board because I’m familiar with the Captain. I hadn’t realized it was up to Federation Code to have family members amongst the crew of a Federation ship.”

Clarke had thought of it, but mostly wondered how they were all so young. Before she could voice such concerns, Kane beat her to it, “And you’re all so young too.”

At the mention of a daughter from Abby, Lexa’s eyes flicked up to meet Clarke’s and Clarke wanted to melt under the woman’s hard stare. At first she wondered how Lexa’s knew Abby was her mother, as they didn’t look much alike, but chalked it up to the Admiral being much smarter than she had originally thought. It seemed nothing slipped from those observant eyes of hers.

Lexa’s smirk was now borderline impish as she replied, “They’re on my ship because I gave the order for them to be.”

There were gasps from a few members of the room, however it was a confused Abby who spoke in the end. “But that would have to mean…”

When she didn’t finish her sentence, Lexa did for her. “Sorry, I don’t usually use my full, official title, as it’s a little lengthy. My full title is; Admiral Base Commander Alexandria Woods, Commander of the Federation Starfleet.”

Clarke gawked, like everyone else in the room, at the admission of Lexa’s full title. Clarke wasn’t as much surprised that the position was hers, but just surprised someone could have so many titles in one name.

Slowly, Kane rose from his seat and gave Lexa a somewhat awestruck salute. Lexa’s chin inclined furth and she gave a slight, sharp nod, to which he sat back down.

“We do thank you for your hospitality,” Lexa commented after a silence settled over Clarke’s crew.

Recovering from his shock, Jaha nodded a few times, “O-of course, we’ll get you back to your ship as soon as possible.” He straightened up in his chair, “In the meantime, I’ll have some of my crew show you to spare rooms, and then get my medical staff to run a few quick scans to ensure you aren’t bringing aboard any strange diseases to the ship.”

Lexa nodded her thanks but narrowed her eyes at the mention of a medical scan, however she said nothing. “Might I offer a suggestion in regards to traveling to my ship?”

Abby nodded, “Of course. You’re more familiar with this sector I presume?”

After a nod, “Yes. As you are probably aware, there is a small scuffle in the outer sections of this sector, to avoid drawing attention to your ship I suggest not using hyperspeed. However, I wish not to overstay our welcome as that would extend the journey a good week or so.”

Abby looked over to Jaha and Marcus, and shared a look with them, before turning back to Lexa, “I think that would be for the best.”

Lexa nodded, “Then should you ship encounter any danger my crew and I will assist you to the best of our ability to ensure your crew comes to no harm.”

Clarke had been watching the interaction between her mother and Lexa when she noticed Finn growing more and more agitated.

“Oh, you mean more so than already? We have a man with an arrow through his chest in our med bay!” Finn nearly shouted. Before Jaha, Kane, or Abby could tell him to be quiet The First Officer had crossed the space between herself and Finn and had her blade against his throat.

“It would do you well to learn to hold your tongue before I cut it out!” she hissed, as Finn tried to sink further into his seat.

“Enough!” Lexa shouted, “Anya, back down. We are guests. If he wishes to say something to me he may say it.” Almost as quick as she had come Anya left Finn’s space and returned to her spot by Lexa’s side. Noticeably angrier than before, as her scowl was deeper.

Abby looked relieved at Lexa’s intervention, “Thank you for your understanding, Commander. I’m sure you understand he’s just a boy and-”

“However, should you have said that to me on my own ship I would have let Anya do as she would with you. Understood?” Lexa said, voice steading as she fixed Finn with a death stare. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, just barely managing a nod.

Abby frowned at having been interrupted, but due to the difference in rank, said nothing.

Jaha called over his comm, and a crew member Clarke was not familiar with led Lexa had her crew to the spare rooms. After they left Abby immediately entered a heated discussion with Kane and Jaha, and Clarke found herself pulled into a conversation with Raven.

“Okay, is it just me, or is everyone from their crew like, unnaturally hot?” Raven asked, a grin on her face.

“Oh please, you’re obviously only interested in the First Officer. Probably more so after she showed Finn up,” Clarke responded.

Raven’s smile grew more, “Oh, but of course. It’s not everyday you get to see a hot high-ranking woman hold a blade to your cheating bastard of an ex.”

It was true. Finn had cheated on Raven with Clarke, unbeknownst to Clarke at the time, and had only remained within their friend group because he was friends with Bellamy. Much to Octavia’s displeasure.

“Plus, it’s not like you weren’t drooling over the Commander,” Raven offhandedly replied, and Clarke felt her cheeks heat up.

“Shit, you don’t think she noticed, do you?” Clarke internally panicked that the very observant woman had somehow picked up on her emotions.

Raven laughed, “I dunno Princess, it’s not like you were being very subtle about it.”

Clarke left the room, cheeks ablaze, headed down to the med bay to prepare for the medical scans of the crew later. A cackling Raven behind her.

Chapter Text

Clarke paced the medbay waiting for one of the members of the U.S.S Grounder to show up. When she had first stepped into the med bay her mother had asked her if she would do the scans on the crew, since they knew her. Clarke had argued back that they only knew her maybe twenty minutes more than her mother had, but in the end agreed to do it if only to get to see Lexa again.

 

There was a soft knock on the door before it swung open, and Clarke whirled around to see Lincoln standing in the doorway, Octavia right behind him. Clarke shot Octavia a grin over his shoulder to which Octavia responded with her middle finger.

 

Lincoln stepped into the med bay and gave Clarke a friendly smile, which Clarke returned.  

 

“Hei, klark. So chit laik osir doing hir?” he asked, in a language Clarke had never heard before. From the other corner of the room she heard mother gasp. “Sorry, my apologies. I forgot it is not common to speak Trigedasleng.”

 

Just as Clarke was about to ask, her mother spoke for her, “I’m impressed, no many people know that old language.”

 

Lincoln smiled, “It is still taught in Triku today. English is my second language.”

 

Clarke wanted to ask more, but held her tongue in favor of doing a scan on Lincoln. “So, I just need to take a small blood sample that’s it.”

 

He nodded and held out his arm, while Clarke carefully inserted the needle. Afterward, when she turned back to him, she was faced with another tube of blood.

 

“Um, who’s is this?” she asked, not daring to take the bottle of random blood.

 

Lincoln laughed lightly, and Clarke knew at that moment no matter how impassive he was around the Commander he was actually really friendly. Which, now that she thought about it was probably why he was the Intelligence Officer.

 

“It’s Nyko’s. He took his own as not to waste any of your supplies.”

 

Clarke thanked him, laughing at the fact their Medical Officer had drawn his own blood. In a way, it reminded her of something her mother might do.

 

As she was entering in the test results to the computer, the med bay door swung open and Anya all but stalked in.

 

Clarke turned to face her, needle in hand, and no words were exchanged as she drew her blood. The permanent scowl that seemed etched onto Anya’s face never moved when Clarke drove the needle into her arm. It was a little unnerving how the woman kept her eyes trained on Clarke’s face, and when she looked up at the other woman, she had no choice but to make eye contact.

 

There was a long, tense moment of science, then Anya turned away and walked out the door. Clarke let out a sigh as the other woman left, and only dared speak when she was certain she was down the hallway.  

 

“Why does she hate me so much?” she asked to no one in particular.

 

She was surprised when her mother answered, “It’s probably because you were eyeing her Commander the entire meeting.”

 

Clarke’s mouth made a “o” shape, and she turned to face her mother. Right as she was about to make a retort of “No I wasn’t” yes, I was. There was a soft knock on the door. Much softer than Lincoln's, and the door didn’t open.

 

Clarke eyed her mother with a raised brow. Abby’s face was set into a frown of confusion as she answered the knock, “Come in?”

 

The door slid open to reveal Lexa, hands clasped behind her back, which was ramrod straight. Clarke knew she should find Lexa’s constant formality annoying, or at the very least, strange, but for some reason she found it endearing and it made her smile.  

 

“Commander,” Clarke said in way of greeting, although the title sounded strange on her lips.

 

Lexa opened her mouth, then closed it into a frown as her eyebrows bunched together. Jesus, give me strength, that’s too adorable . Then tried to stop thinking because I shouldn’t be thinking that about a potential co-worker. We count as co-workers, right?

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t actually know your name,” Lexa said with a guilty look, that looked genuine which shocked Clarke. “And it’s just Lexa.”  

 

Clarke gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile, “Clarke.” Meanwhile butterflies were attempting to kill her from the inside out at the fact that she was allowed to use just  Lexa’s name.

 

The corner of Lexa’s mouth curved upward, in which Clarke was learning was her smile. Her smile that showed more in the startling green eyes, than those plump kissable lips of hers. And, ok, Clarke let her mental monologue stop there, because it wasn’t going to end anywhere good.

 

“Clarke,” Lexa tested out the name on her lips and Clarke’s knees went weak and she let out a small whimper (that she prayed Lexa didn't hear) at the way Lexa’s tongue clicked on the “k” over pronouncing it slightly. “May I come in? Unless, of course, you plan to do your examination from over there?”  

 

Clarke’s cheeks flushed, and she motioned for Lexa to come in as she turned around to try and compose herself and prepare the needle to draw Lexa’s blood.

 

“Clarke,” her mother called, and Clarke looked over her shoulder at her, “I’m going to go to the mess hall to get something to eat. You okay here alone?”

 

Clarke nodded, then her mother slipped out the door leaving her and Lexa alone, except for Jasper in the corner of the room, under heavy sedatives.    

 

“Come have a seat,” Clarke gestured to the metal examination table that Lexa obediently sat on. Clarke moved forward and without looking, moved to get closer to Lexa. When she looked back up from the needle she had finished preparing, she found herself in between Lexa’s legs, and staring into bright green eyes. “May I, see your...arm?” Clarke asked, relieved when her voice didn’t show how flustered she was at their proximity.

 

“Why?” Lexa asked, eyeing the needle in Clarke’s hands warily.

 

“I need to draw a small sample of your blood to-”

 

“No,” Lexa immediately cut off, a note of finality in her tone.

 

Clarke stood stock still, shocked. She’s not...afraid of needles is she? “Um, no?” Clarke asked, hoping maybe she’d just heard wrong, or Lexa was playing a joke on her.

 

A slight shake of the head, “No.”

 

Clarke didn’t know what to do. Without running the tests, she couldn’t confirm Lexa wasn’t harboring any diseases, and therefore couldn’t clear her to be on the ship. But, it wasn’t like they had anywhere to put her, right? They couldn’t just drop her off on the nearest planet and forget about it….Right?

 

“Uh, why...why not?”

 

“I-” Lexa stopped, then looked away from Clarke Oh my God, she’s afraid of needles . Lexa sighed, then looked at Clarke, really looked at her. From head to toe, and Clarke somehow felt the need that she needed to pass whatever test this was.

 

Clarke didn’t know where she got the courage, why she felt the need, but said, “It’s okay. You can trust me.”

 

There was a moment of silence. Lexa staring at Clarke, trying to find something deep within her eyes, Clarke staring back in almost defiance.

 

“Ok.”

 

It took Clarke’s mind a moment to process Lexa had said anything at all, and when it did she felt a warm feeling in her chest. She managed to pass whatever test Lexa was running on her, and somehow, that made her feel special.

 

Clarke couldn’t help the smile that graced her lips, “May I see your arm?”

 

Lexa eyes darted to the needle briefly, then she somewhat reluctantly lifted her arm to Clarke. Clarke lifted her eyes to Lexa’s for a moment, and then pushed the needle into Lexa’s arm. The woman’s eyes didn’t even twitch, but there was a small change in her eyes that showed Clarke she felt the prick of the needle. She shows all her emotions in her eyes Clarke thought.

 

Just as Clarke was about to look down, Lexa’s other hand shot out to gently, yet firmly grip Clarke’s chin. A brief flash of anger went through Clarke’s mind, then evaporated when she looked at Lexa. Instead her heart shattered when she could visibly see Lexa pull her walls down.

 

“Promise you won’t tell?” Lexa’s voice sounded small, uncertain. Clarke wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her and hold her tight. “Please?”

 

Clarke had no idea what she was agreeing to, but the almost broken way Lexa said “please”, in that moment she would have agreed to anything. Looking away from Lexa’s now dark and heavy green eyes, Clarke answered, “Ok.”

 

Lexa visibly unwound, and sat on the table with her back slouched, and instead of going back to stoic, and indifferent, Lexa’s face remained open. Clarke came to the conclusion that Lexa was two different people. The Commander, who showed no mercy, no fear...and Lexa. The young woman currently sitting on her examination table.

 

Clarke finally tore her eyes away from Lexa, without and resistance on the latter’s part this time, almost to drop the needle in her hands. Because Lexa’s blood was black and there wasn’t a trace of red in it. Clarke could only stare at the blood in her hands for a moment before she looked back up to Lexa. “I’m assuming you have a reason for this?” Clarke’s mind was already a whirlwind of ideas. Running through every disease and whether or not they might cause black blood, and how the hell Lexa wanted her to hide this, and just how in the world does the Federation not know about this ?

 

“I do.”

 

Clarke looked up at Lexa and waited for any reason, any reason, why Lexa’s blood might be black.

 

“What do you know of the Triku planet?” she asked.

 

Clarke admittedly knew almost nothing of the planet other than it was basically a giant forest, and had the Starfleet base on it. Which, now that she thought about it, Lexa controlled. “Um, your Intelligence Officer, he mentioned something about it. The language, I think? Tride Slang?”

 

A small chuckle escaped Lexa and amusement shone in her eyes, “Trigedasleng. Yes, that is the language of the Tree People.”

 

Clarke was intrigued, “So, can you speak it?”

 

Lexa laughed wholeheartedly this time, and Clarke wished she could listen to that sound forever. “Gon course, Klark. Em's the sleng gon ai kru pas hogeda.”

 

Clarke decided she liked it better when Lexa spoke the language instead of Lincoln, and instantly realized Lexa pronounced her name almost the same in either language. Or, at least, she thought she’d said her name. It all just sounded like a bunch of pretty words to Clarke. After a moment she asked breathlessly, “What’d you say?”

 

Lexa smiled warmly at her, “I said, ‘Of course, Clarke. It’s the language of my people after all’.”   

 

Clarke smiled then remembered what they were talking about, “What does this have to do with your...blood?”

 

Lexa’s face harded and Clarke saw the brightness in her eyes dim. “Well, Triku is know for it’s high rates of Starfleet officers. Many Federation fighters come from my planet, but sometimes being natural fighters isn't enough to protect your planet. The planet is thought to have such lush forests due to a radiation spill that happened there years ago by some of the old Starfleet ships. After a while the people that lived there got used to it, and were able to survive. Years go by, and this radiation has seemingly no effect on it’s people. However, what people don’t know, is that every once in a while, a child is born that has been affected by the radiation.” Lexa paused, gather her thoughts, but Clarke already knew where this story was headed. “I was one of those children.

 

“We call ourselves Nightbloods. As Nightbloods, we’re prone to being a bit….enhanced. We think that radiation altered our blood so we were more likely to survive, which would explain why we have enhanced abilities.”     

 

Clarke didn’t know what to say. Here Lexa was, looking perfectly normal, but completely irradiated. The blonde opened and closed her mouth a few times before deciding to start with the simple questions. “Does it affect those around you?”

 

A shake of the head, “No, it’s just me.” Clarke thought that sounded pretty lonely.

 

“Does Starfleet know about this?”

Lexa sighed, “Everyone who needs to know, knows.” The burnette suddenly looked tired. Worn out beyond exhausted, and older than she was. Clarke assumed this was something she needed to talk about more than she wanted to.

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“Well...the Senate, Anya, Lincoln, Titus, Nyko, and the other NIghtbloods...and you.” Lexa’s last words were almost a whisper, but Clarke heard them nonetheless. Because she was someone Lexa considered needed to know. Her heart fluttered at the thought.

 

There was silence, Lexa looking both sick and relieved, Clarke trying to hide her blush. Eventually Clarke was able to rein in her emotions and asked, “So...you mentioned something about being...enhanced?”

 

Lexa nodded, looking grateful for the subject change. “Most, if not all Nightbloods, are what we like to simplify down to, enhanced. Usually with things like heightened senses, extra strength, increased speed. Basically, just like humans, but double in almost everything.”

 

Clarke was appalled, “That’s…I-,” Lexa put a slender finger against Clarke’s lips, stopping the ramble before it began. Clarke was surprised at how soft it was, how warm.

 

“Klark,” Clarke wanted to melt at the use of her natural language, “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.”

 

Lexa looked down at her with, was that admiration? In her eyes, and Clarke felt like it was just the two of them in the world.

 

“Am I cleared?”

 

Clarke had been staring at Lexa’s mouth, so she knew she’d said something. What, she had said however, was a mystery.

 

“Um….I’m sorry, what?” she asked, cheeks heating up.

 

Lexa smiled, amusement evident, “I asked if I was cleared.”

 

Clarke’s eyebrows furrowed, “Cleared?” then she remembered they were in the middle of the med bay. “Cleared! Yeah, yeah you’re cleared. I’ll just enter into the system you’re good to good.”

 

Lexa’s eyes warmed, “Thank you Clarke.”

 

Clarke smiled, “Of course.”

 

Lexa stayed on the table for a beat, before hopping down. The action brought Clarke and Lexa almost nose to nose, and Clarke could feel the ghost of her breath on her lips. Then, of course Jasper woke up and coughed, and Clarke looked over at him. Finding Lexa almost out the door when she looked back. Clarke looked down to the vial of blood in her hands, then to the door Lexa just went out.

 

Somehow every time she thought the mystery of her was getting solved, another question was thrown into the mix.

 

Or, maybe, Clarke just wanted there to always be something about Lexa she could learn.




           

 

Chapter Text

Raven tossed the screwdriver she was using back into the bin of tools near her workstation, and tried to wipe some of the grease off her hands. Deciding on an early break Raven started making her way to the lounge area towards the center of the ship. On the way there, she passed the weight room.

 

Raven walked passed the door, stopped in her tracks, then backed up. Confusion was written all over her face when she heard the clinking of weights from within the room. When she looked in, she saw the first officer, Anya, on the bench press. Raven relaxed and leaned on the doorframe. After another ten or so reps (with Raven staring unabashedly at the scheme of sweat of Anya’s body and the way her arms flexed under the dumbbell) Anya spoke.

 

“Make yourself useful and come over here and spot me,” she ordered, although not harshly.

 

Raven briefly thought about her chances of turning tail and running away, but decided spending time with the mysterious First Officer was worth the embarrassment of getting caught staring.   

 

Raven walked over to where Anya was currently lying, and lifted the dumbbell back onto the metal bars that held it suspended with some difficulty. Raven looked down at Anya, and watched the steady rise and fall of her chest and wondered how someone no bigger than herself could lift something so easily.

 

“Thanks,” came a breathless voice that brought Raven back to reality.

 

“Well, I was wondering who was in here. No one on our ship bothers to go in here but Bellamy and he was sorting something out in the hanger,” Raven replied, slipping into her usual aloof mood.

 

Anya smirked, and Raven almost slipped on the wall she was leaning on, “Well, I just barely managed to find this room, I had to get some help. But, seeing as that help has long since gone, and I’m all sweaty now, do you think you could point me in the direction of the showers?”

 

Raven’s mouth went dry. Is she flirting with me? Because, holy shit, I don’t mind. I’ll give you a fucking tour of the whole damn ship if it’s what you want  “Um...there should be some in your quarters? They’ll suffice?” What the hell is wrong with you Raven? What kinda response is that?

 

Anya stepped a bit closer and Raven licked her lips, “They’re just so big I don’t want to feel so lonely after such a scarring event as being imprisoned.” With every emphasized word Anya took a step closer until Raven could feel the heat of her body against her own.

 

“Well, I can help with that.” Raven didn’t know what possessed her to flirt back, but judging by the smirk on Anya’s lips and lack of iris left in her lust filled eyes, she was okay with it.  

 

Raven held her hand out for Anya to take and then started leading the First Officer down the hallways to her quarters. Raven found the situation she was in hard to believe, but even more confusing was the fact that Anya was interested in her too. Ever since their meeting in the prison, Raven wanted to know more about the sexy, yet stoic First Officer, but just tried to dismiss the thought because there is no way in hell a girl like her wants anything to do with a girl like me .

 

The door to her quarters slid open and Raven stepped in, the lights coming on automatically. Her room wasn’t huge but that didn’t mean there wasn’t space. A queen size bed was off to the left of the room, and the kitchen and bathroom were in the next room. There was a red couch facing a good size wall mounted TV that was hung on the back wall of the kitchen, and could easily be seen from the bed.  

 

A soft brush of fingers along Raven’s bicep brought her out of her thoughts about what they were about to do. Turning her head, Raven came face to face with Anya, who was gently looking at Raven, her fingers still gently grazing Raven’s arm.

 

“We don’t have to do this, if you don’t want. I’d be just as happy to sit and watch something with you. Unless...you want me to go?” Anya was looking and Raven with a look of pure adoration that Raven got the impression she didn’t show often. In fact, now that they were behind closed doors, the woman in front of her was a far cry from the woman who had held a knife to Finn’s throat just a day before.

 

Raven smiled, “Let’s start on the couch and see where things go?” Because even though Raven couldn’t deny wanted to lay down in her bed with Anya until their screams echoed off the walls, she didn’t want this to be a one and done. And she wasn’t about to make the same mistake of bed first and everything else later.

 

Anya smiled brightly, and the only thing Raven found in her eyes was understanding and maybe a hint of relief at not outright being told to leave.

 

“Lead the way.”

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The lights in the room were dimmed, and the forms of two women could be made out under the glow of the TV.

 

Raven sat facing forward, right arm slung over the back of the couch, her left on the armrest as Anya was curled into her side. Just under her ribs, Raven could feel the gentle touch of Anya’s fingers as they traced an unknown pattern through her shirt, from the arm Anya had slung over her stomach. Anya’s head was nestled firmly in the space between Raven’s neck and shoulder, her breath gently tickling Raven’s exposed collarbone. When Raven had settled into the far end of the couch she hadn’t expected Anya to want to cuddle, but welcomed the position regardless. It came as a bit of a surprise that Anya was one, and cuddlier, and two, wanted Raven to hold her instead of the other way around. However, Raven offered no complaints as the most attractive woman she had ever seen was now sound asleep on her shoulder.

 

The TV droned on in the background as Raven looked down fondly at the sleeping woman in her arms. A dopey smiled spread across her face, and she couldn’t help but run a hand through her hair, careful to avoid tugging on any of her numerous braids. The was a small whine and Raven watched as Anya’s dark brown eyes slowly opened. She looked around, a small flash of panic crossing her features before she felt Raven’s hand in her hair and instantly relaxed.

 

“Well hey there sleeping beauty,” Raven jabbed, moving her hand from Anya’s hair to cheek.

 

Anya sat up and stretched, her shirt riding up and gracing Raven with small sliver of tanned skin. A yawn, “How long was I out?”

 

Raven smiled at their back and forth which had quickly become their playful dynamic, “Oh, just under the turn of the century.” A look from Anya, “Seriously, I think I was starting to become one with the couch!”

 

Anya rolled her eyes, but let a smile grace her lips, “You have only yourself to blame.”

 

Raven smirked, eyes alight with mischief, “Oh really? How so?”  

 

Anya smiled innocently and leaned back into Raven’s side, this time sitting on her knees. She placed a hand on Raven’s lower stomach, causing the Latina to draw in a sharp breath of air. Starting to walk her fingers up Raven’s torso, she looked at the girl with a devilish smirk on her lips. “Well, maybe if you weren’t so damn comfortable .”

 

Even in the darkness the light from the TV played across Anya’s face enough that Raven could see the look in her eyes. When a particularly dark scene in the movie they were watching engulfed the room in complete darkness, Raven felt the soft, warm press of lips against her own. Wasting no time in kissing back, Raven moved her left arm from the couch to Anya’s sharp jaw.

 

Kissing Anya made Raven feel like she was running a marathon, but at the same time sitting in a pile of blankets in front of a blazing fire during the coldest of winter nights. It felt exciting and grounding at the same time. Light flying in the sky while never leaving the ground.

 

When Anya’s tongue left a slow trail along Raven’s bottom lip, asking permission to enter, Raven wasted no time in tilting her head to deepen this kiss. A soft moan escaped Anya’s lips when Raven pushed harder against her, her hand gently but firmly tugging at the hair at the back of her neck at the same time.

 

When they pulled apart for air, Raven waited a moment before opening her eyes. Anya was on her knees in front of her, breath coming out in short pants against Raven’s lips.

 

“Bed?” Raven wasn’t sure who asked, but in the next moment Anya had her arms wrapped around Raven’s neck, and two smooth legs around her hips. Raven didn’t know where her strength came from, but she managed to carry Anya to the bed, and sat down on the edge. Anya straddled her waist, and kissed Raven with an intensity she’d never felt before. After a few more heated kissed Anya removed her lips from Raven’s, which made the mechanic whine, only to turn into a moan a minute later when Anya’s lips made contact with Raven’s neck. Raven could feel Anya sucking and biting down hard on the skin, only to run her tongue over it a moment later to sooth it. When Anya was satisfied with her work, she released the skin with a *pop* and Raven groaned at the thought of the dark spot that was surly forming there.

 

Anya reattached her lips to Raven’s neck, making the other girl lean her head back to allow more access. Just as Raven was about to pull Anya’s head up for a proper kiss the other girl began to slowly grind against Raven’s lap, and fuck just fuck me already!

 

Raven allowed Anya to push her back against the mattress with a soft thump. The mechanic then watched as First Officer slowly crawled her way back up Raven's body, until she was straddling her waist again.  

 

Anya kissed her for a few more heated minutes, slowly increasing the pressure of her grinding before she tugged on the hem of Raven’s shirt and asked, “May I?”

 

Raven arched her back off the bed as Anya’s fingers slid under her shirt, but stopped, waiting for an answer.

 

“Please.”

 

Chapter Text

Clarke’s POV

 

(Four Story Days Since Last Chapter)

 

Clarke’s bare feet padded on the somewhat cold carpet of her living room. A steaming cup of coffee in her “Worlds Best Dad” cup that she had given to her father what seemed like a lifetime ago. She let out a soft sigh at the memory, and settled onto her teal blue couch, her feet folded beneath her.

 

There was a knock at her door, and Clarke almost spilt her coffee at the noise. She set the cup down and looked herself over in her blank TV screen. Clarke was dressed in a form-fitting white V-neck, and old light grey sweats. I really hope this is one of my friends she silently prayed.

 

Another knock sounded on the door, and Clarke growled, “Be right there!” When she reached the door, pressing the button so it opened with a *woosh* she wasn’t surprised to see Raven.

 

“What the hell do you want so early in the Goddamn morning?” Clarke spit, her voice laced with annoyance.

 

“Good morning to you too Griff. Anyway, I need to talk to you, Octavia's on her way. I think,”  Raven replied by way of greeting, pushing past Clarke and into her quarters.

 

“What about?” Clarke asked. It’s too early for this kinda shit.

 

“What about what?” Raven asked, looking towards Clarke as she unceremoniously flopped on her couch.  

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “What did you want to talk about?”

 

Raven shifted on the couch, and Clarke became slightly concerned at seeing Raven lose her confidence.

 

“I...I wanted to talk to you about Anya. And, like, maybe asking her to maybe be my girlfriend.” Raven stuttered in an uncharacteristically soft and uncertain voice.

 

What! ” a voice sounded from the doorway. Clarke whirled around to see Octavia in her doorway.

 

Raven seemed to shrink into herself, “Is it too soon? It’s too soon isn’t it. Yeah, you’re right, it’s too soon. Nevermind. Can we just forget this?”

 

“Wait, wait, wait, Raven,” Clarke sat down on the couch next to her best friend, “Yes, it’s a little soon, but, like, it’s all about what feels right too. If this feels right, go for it.”

 

Octavia sat down on the armrest on Raven’s other side, mumbling something about “Lesbian U-Hauls”, “Well, you guys have been practically attached at the hip since you had sex, what three days ago?”

 

Raven smiled, “Four for the first time, however, the second and-”

 

“Okay! That’s enough about that. Plus, Octavia’s right. You too have been hanging out a lot recently, and I swear those are the only time’s I’ve ever seen Anya smile.” Clarke cut off.

 

Raven scoffed, “You’re just jealous The Commander hasn’t taken you to bed yet.”  

 

Clarke’s cheeks flushed, “Hey, Octavia hasn’t made a move on Lincoln yet!”

 

Octavia flushed then smiled tentatively, “Well...actually-”  

 

Raven burst out laughing, “HAH!”

 

“When?” Clarke asked, having not heard of this “gossip” yet.

 

Octavia blushed harder, “Last night.”  

 

Raven leaned forward on her elbows, “Clarke, you need to get a move on!

 

Clarke looked at Octavia, “Are you guys…?”

 

Octavia looked down again, “No, we just, had a little fun...but it’s definitely not a one and done kinda thing.”  

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Clarke waited outside the meeting room where she knew Lexa was having a conference with Marcus.

 

“Clarke?”

 

Turning around, Clarke was met with a questioning look from her mother. “Oh, uh...hey mom.”

 

“Clarke, what are you doing here?” Abby asked. Apparently whatever she was doing wasn’t super important as she could afford to stand and play twenty questions with her daughter.

 

Clarke knew whatever little white lie she told her mother would most likely see through, so she told the truth. “I’m waiting for Lexa.”

 

Abby hummed, a knowing look in her eyes that Clarke couldn’t decipher because yeah. Lexa is hot, and I really really really wants to kiss her, but that's just a normal reaction to seeing hot people right? It’s not like I like her or anything...Right?

 

“Clarke?” there was an distinctive voice from behind her, and Clarke spun around to come face to face with intense green eyes.

 

“L-Lexa!” Clarke squeaked, hating how just one look could have her flustered like this.

 

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Abby said through barely contained laughter, “Marcus! Might I have a word?” And just like that Abby was pushing past a grinning Lexa and into the meeting room throwing questions at Marcus left and right.

 

There was silence for a moment before Lexa cleared her throat, “So, Clarke?”

 

Clarke tore her gaze from the spot where her mother stood only moments before, “Yes?”

 

It was barely a whisper, but Lexa’s eyes were sparkling all the same, “I was about to head to your weight room for a quick work out. Care to join?”

 

Clarke took a minute to process the question, and what Lexa was asking. Because she would never be caught dead in a weight room.

 

But Lexa in tight spandex?

 

Now that, that was something Clarke could get behind.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Raven POV

 

Raven never lost her confidence. Not when speaking in front of crowds. Not when asking people out. Not when breaking up with someone. Not when flirting. Not when defusing bombs. Not when doing anything .

 

Asking Anya to be her girlfriend? Or just talking to her in general?

 

Raven was terrified. Her palms were sweaty, and cold at the same time, and no matter what wouldn’t stop shaking slightly. Her stomach felt like an endless pit, and everything seemed to be happening all at once but somehow impossibly slow.

 

What the hell is wrong with me?

 

Raven’s closed fist was raised, poised about three inches away from Anya’s door. Six yellow tulips only slightly bent from her death grip on them, behind her back. C’mon Raven, it’s just a door. You’ve faced worse. Remember when you found Finn cheating on you with Clarke? And you thought your life was going to end? Well, that didn’t stop you. C’mon! Get a grip! You grew up without any parents! You’re Raven goddamn Reyes! The badass Latina mechanic, knock on that door and get your scrawny ass in there! Raven didn’t know how to feel about her inner conscience that sounded suspiciously like Octavia calling her ass scrawny, but it did the job. Raven’s closed fist rasped on the door three quick, sharp times.

 

The door opened to reveal Anya in light grey sweats, and a baggy red t-shirt that Raven thought looked a lot like her own. Her light brown hair and caramel/blonde accents alike were tousled and her eyes squinted from the light of the hallway.

 

Raven thought she looked like an angel.

 

Wordlessly, Raven thrust the tulips into Anya’s chest, opening her mouth to let out a small, pitiful, squeak before turning around, and, for all intents and purposes, fleeing.

 

Anya’s eyes widened in surprise when yellow flowers were shoved into her chest, and her lips turned up slightly at Raven’s small noise. However, after her initial shock, Anya grabbed Raven’s writ before she could leave.

 

In an instant, Raven was in Anya’s quarters, with her lips on her own. Morning breath be damned.

 

Anya pulled back just a bit to lean past Raven’s lips and towards her ears. Raven’s eyes fluttered shut as Anya let out a breathless

 

Yes .”

 

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Clarke’s POV

 

Clarke felt like her lungs were going to implode.

 

The blonde felt like they’d been at it for hours , but knew it must not have been anything thing more that twenty minutes. But dammit if the treadmill Clarke was running on wasn’t hard enough, having Lexa next to her in nothing but a tight black sports bra and skimpy gym shorts that didn’t leave much to the imagination, took working out to a whole new level.

 

Logically, Clarke knew Lexa technically, somewhat biologically enhanced, but at the speed she was running Clarke doubted that was all genetics. Granted, Clarke had her’s on the third lowest setting, but even she knew Lexa was running fast. Chancing another glance at her companion, glances that were seriously damaging to her meatal stability, Clarke saw that her treadmill setting was on is that a fucking 32? Can treadmills even go that fucking high?   

 

Next to her, Lexa had barely broken a sweat, even though Clarke herself was drenched. Not only was Lexa not sweating, but she wasn’t breathing hard either. In fact, she made it look easy. Clarke looked down and watched the way the muscles in Lexa’s leg tensed then released with every step she took. Look away. You know what that’s going to do to you. The last thing you need is to fall and bust your ass in front of Lexa.

 

Clarke pulled the safety-fall key from her treadmill, it stopping almost instantly, before she gave herself the chance to fall. Taking a minute to catch her breath, let the room stop spinning, and let her vision clear, Clarke leaned over the side of her treadmill.

 

“O-o-ohkhay, LHex. I-Hive gotta stop.” Despite giving herself a minute to catch her breath, Clarke’s words still came out breathy and choppy. Clarke waited a minute, the looked up from her shoes, her brows furrowed. “Lex?” Lex? Where the hell did that nickname come from? Looking at Lexa more closely, Clarke noticed the tight way Lexa’s jaw was set, and how her gaze seemed to be fixed on something far away.

 

Walking around to the front of Lexa’s treadmill, Clarke saw the faraway look in Lexa’s eyes that were filled with panic. Lexa wasn’t running, Lexa was running from something and the thought almost broke Clarke’s heart. “Lexa!”

 

All at once Lexa was snapping back to reality, shaking her head and pulling the key on her treadmill before jumping over the front of the damn thing and looking Clarke over. “Clarke! Are you okay?”

 

Concern laced her voice, “I’m fine. Are you okay?”

 

:exa visibly relaxed and shook her head, “Sorry, I was just caught up in my head.”

 

Clarke a gently smile, hesitantly reaching out to touch Lexa’s lean shoulder. Her fingertips feeling like they were on fire from the action. “Hey, it’s okay. We all have are demons.”

 

Lexa looked at Clarke, then looked to the hand on her shoulder that Clarke refused to move. “Just thinking about things, people ...just the past. I’m sorry.”

 

The fact that Lexa looked genuinely guilty made Clarke feel sick, “No, no you don’t have to be sorry. I just wanted to know it you were okay, or I you just needed to talk or something.”

 

There was a moment, where Clarke was afraid Lexa would run. Her eyes darted around the room and honed in on the exit, however, she didn’t. Instead, Lexa looked back at Clarke, her head slightly tilted down, and stepped into Clarke’s open arms. When Clarke’s body had raised her arms without her brain knowing was beyond her, however she was glad she did it.

 

Because hugging Lexa was something she wanted to do for the rest of her life.

 

The way her strong arms wrapped around Clarke’s ribs, and how her head slipped into the small space between her own elbow and Clarke’s head like it was always meant to be there. It only took Clarke a moment before she was wrapping her arms around Lexa’s slim form and holding her like it would kill her to let go.

 

Clarke thought maybe it would.    

 

Chapter Text

Raven’s POV

 

Raven thought that waking up next to Anya was quite possibly the best way to start her mornings.

 

Scratch that, Raven thought waking up to her girlfriend was the best way to start her mornings. Her pretty, strong, graceful, amazing, grumpy-

 

Ugh! Who the hell decided that there were mornings in space. Like actually what the hell why are there mornings in space!” Raven smirked to herself as Anya shoved her face further into the pillow and pulled the blanket up over her head. Raven laid there, just smiling like an idiot at her girlfriend, until she thought about what Anya had said, and frowned as she tried to think of a good reason why they technically had to get up on “mornings” in space. The sheets ruffled next to her until she was pulled out of her revere by a calloused, yet soft, hard caressing her cheek. Raven turned into the touch, and found herself looking into Anya’s dark brown eyes that seemed to glow with her small smile. “What are you thinking about so hard over there? I could practically here you from under all these blankets.”

 

Raven smiled and shifted onto her side, “Why are you so far away anyway?” Anya hooked her right arm around Raven’s torso and pulled her flush against herself. Raven melted into the touch immediately, tucking her head under Anya’s chin and placing as soft kiss on the smooth warm skin she found there.

 

Anya placed an accompanying kiss on the top of Raven’s head and pushed her nose into her hair, “You never answered my question.”

 

Raven sighed at her ever observant girlfriend, not annoyed in the slightest but simply relishing in the fact that she would never be able to hide her feelings from the other woman. “I was thinking about the space thing, and wondering when you got so smart.”

 

Anya pushed herself back, feigning annoyance “Bitch, I was always a genius.”

 

And just like that the moment was gone and they were back to annoying each other.

 

Raven loved it.

 

The thought scared her, but maybe she liked it.

 

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Octavia's POV  

 

Octavia had just gotten off of a long shift and was currently making a cup of coffee in the crew lounge. Just as she was starting to nod off waiting for the water the brew, two strong arms wrapped tightly around her waist and a stubbly face pressed into her neck. Smiling, Octavia immediately recognized the arms belonging to Lincoln and leaned into his touch. Straightening up to his full height, Octavia rested her head back against his broad chest and inhaled his musky scent.

 

“You seem tired.” It was a statement, not a question and Octavia enjoyed the rumble the words created in Lincoln’s chest.

 

“Yeah, I had a long shift and just got off.”

 

Lincoln gave her a squeeze, “Your coffee is going to get cold if you leave it sit for much longer.” Octavia looked down at her now room temperature cup of coffee, wondering when such an amount of time had passes. “C’mon, I’ll carry you back to your quarters.”

 

Who was Octavia to say no?

 

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Clarke’s POV

 

Clarke hadn’t seen Lexa since the awkward yet peaceful moment in the weight room. After they shared an embrace Clarke had been called to relieve one of the other nurses that had been watching over Jasper.

 

Clarke had spent roughly and hour pondering her “moment” ‘If that’s what you can call it’  before a small child and wandered into the med bay. The A.R.K allowed it’s crew to have immediate family members on board, as well as spouses and Clarke knew the boy to belong to one the engineering members.

 

Kneeling down in front of the small boy Clarke spoke softly, “Hey, can I help you?”

 

The boy looked at Clarke with wide eyes, “I scraped my knee and was wondering if you had a bandaid?” Clarke smiled at the young boy, who she guessed was about seven, relieved when she learned nothing was seriously wrong with him.

 

“Of course, here, sit here a moment and I’ll go grab one.” Clarke hoisted the boy up by his armpits and set him on the metal table behind her. “Be right back.”

 

When Clarke had her back turned as she was rummaging through the storage looking for a kid’s bandage she heard the door *woosh* open. Paying no mind to it Clarke just assumed it was her mom or another nurse.

 

“Clarke-”

 

Clarke whirled around and was surprised to find Lexa standing in the door, then she saw the way Lexa was holding her side, and then she remembered the boy. ‘Shit’

 

Lexa, oh wonderful, sweet, charming Lexa, strode into the room like nothing was wrong and plopped down onto the table next to the boy.

 

He looked up to her with unabashed admiration, his eyes wide and mouth dropped in shock.

 

“Hey there little man. What landed you in here?” Lexa spoke to the boy like he was her longtime friend and smiled down gently at him.

 

Registering that he was being spoken to the boy shook his head and looked back up at Lexa. “I was playing soccer with my friend Rudy and I tripped and scraped my knee. That nice nurse lady said she was going to get me a bandaid.”

 

Lexa’s face lit up in what Clarke barely made out a false interest, “Soccer! That’s so cool! My First Officer and I used to play soccer when we were younger too. Maybe you’ll have to let me play with you sometime? It’s been quite a while since I’ve scored a goal.”

 

The boy’s face lit up as his mouth widened into a face-splitting grin, “That’d be so cool! To have the Commander playing soccer with me!”

 

By now Clarke had broken out of her initial shock and walked over to Lexa and the boy. “Alrighty, I found a bandaid, say, what’s your name?”

 

The boy smiled up at Clarke, “Connor.”

 

Lexa laughed and placed a hand on the boy’s head, ruffling his hair, “He’s only kidding Clarke, he’s my new First Mate. Isn’t that right, Connor?”

 

He smiled and answered in that way only kids could. Full of innocence and happiness, “Yeah!”

 

Clarke placed the bandaid on Connor’s knee and after a thanks from him and a promise to play soccer soon from Lexa, Connor left.

 

Clarke and Lexa stared at each other for a moment before Clarke cleared her throat, “So, what brought you here?”

 

Lexa smirked, “Can’t I just drop by and say hello?”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Probably not. Plus I saw the way you’re holding your side, what’s up?”

 

Lexa looked down at the floor, not meeting Clarke’s eyes. She sheepishly answered, “I was wondering if you could remove this?”

 

Lexa moved her hand away from her side and pulled her shirt up. At first Clarke was confused and distracted by seeing so much of Lexa’s perfectly sun touched skin and a peek of her abs. However, Clarke soon noticed a small glint of metal protruding from Lexa’s side.

 

“Lexa! What the hell is that?” Clarke’s eyes widened as she looked at what she thought was an arrow head in Lexa’s side.

 

“Um...it’s an arrow head. I was in your ship’s simulation room and accidently got hit with an arrow while I was distracted.”

 

Clarke’s brows furrowed, “We have a simulation room?”

 

Lexa smirked, amused, “Yes. It’s regulation every ship have one in case Starfleet passengers are aboard and need use of the room.”

 

Clarke hummed, “I thought you healed fast, why hasn’t this closed up?”

 

Lexa looked down at the floor again, “It can’t heal unless the arrow head is removed and I thought I would make use of the more conventional ways to remove such a thing than just pulling it straight out.”

 

Clarke looked at Lexa with mild horror as she tried to process what she was hearing, “So what, if we were on your ship Nyko would just yank this out?”

 

Deep in thought Lexa looked up at Clarke, “Not quite, however I usually tend to my own wounds and was wondering if you could teach me a easier, less messy way to remove the item.”

 

Clarke shook her head and decided to get the arrow head out first and comment later. “I’m afraid there isn't much else I can do to get it out besides pulling it out. But I can give you some numbing agents and then hook up the tissue replacer so it won’t leave a scar.”

 

“Why would you want to stop scarring?” the way Lexa asked the question to Clarke aback. She said it with such conviction, like stopping scarring was the equivalent of Clarke spontaneously growing a third arm and only speaking backwards.

 

“Well, that’s just the norm. No one really wants scars left behind. People think they’re ugly.” Clarke was careful not to say that she too thought they were a bit barbaric, because she thought that would sit the wrong way with Lexa.

 

Turing her chin up, Lexa looked down at Clarke like she was something she found on the bottom of her boot. “And what about you, Clarke? What do you think of, scars .”

 

Clarke took a moment, they tried to picture Lexa with scars she knew she had to have, except failed to come up with a Lexa that looked anything less than a pirate. “I-Y’know, I don’t know. I don’t think I’d want any...but, maybe they work for some people?”

 

There was a beat of silence, then Lexa started to move. At first Clarke thought she was going to leave, but then she was pleasantly surprised to see Lexa pulling up the hem of her shirt. Clarke’s mouth dried out at she watched Lexa remove her shirt in slow motion. “Um...Lexa? What are you doing?”

 

For her part, Lexa smirked and didn’t answer until her shirt was laying on the table behind her. “Well, Klark , do scars… ’work for me’ ?”

 

Clarke scanned over what she could see of Lexa, which sadly wasn't a lot as she had a tank top under her shirt. However, now Clarke could see her toned arms, which did things to her that arms shouldn’t be able to do without actually touching her.

 

Once Clarke stopped ogling Lexa’s toned arms and collar bones, that ‘Oh. My. God. I really want to kiss her collar bones’ , Clarke noticed the plethora of scars the lined Lexa’s arms.

 

Some were white, some pink, some a darker tan, the color showing their age. Some were long, others short, and a few reaching what Clarke guessed to be around seven inches. Most were smooth and looked straight, others were a bit more ragged and a little more raised. Without knowing it Clarke had stepped in between Lexa’s knees again and was reaching her hand out to touch a small tan scar on Lexa’s bicep. When Clarke caught herself she started to pull away, then made eye contact with Lexa who nodded her consent. Clarke didn’t know what had drawn her to the scar, it was by far the smallest and due to how tan it was was one of the oldest too. It was on the middle of Lexa’s left bicep, which meant Clarke could use her, dominant, left hand to touch it. When Clarke made contact with the scar it felt smooth under her touch, and familiar.

 

Lexa looked down at the scar Clarke had been drawn to and smiled, which went unnoticed by Clarke whose gaze was focused on Lexa’s arm. “That was my first one. Anya gave it to me actually.” Clarke looked up at Lexa at the new tidbit of information, her breath catching at their sudden closeness. Their noses were almost touching and with every exhale a Lexa’s breath came a puff of air on Clarke’s lips. “She taught me how to wield a sword. Practically raised me, that one.”

 

Clarke just started at the woman in front of her. Looked deep into her green eyes which were darker in color than her own, but always seemed to look brighter to Clarke. (But they were always bright when Lexa looked at Clarke, and Clarke wasn’t anyone else so she wouldn’t know different) To the woman who made scars look like they were trophies. Whose tattoo Clarke wanted to trace until she could draw the design by memory.

 

To her full lips that had that perfect natural pout that Clarke was dying to kiss.

 

Lexa must have sensed her inner distress as she closed the distance between them and pressed her lips into Clarke like it was her last day on earth. Her lips that seemed impossibly soft slotting with Clarkes like they were each a side of the same coin.

 

The kiss was gentle, like a first kiss, but felt like a last kiss. Clarke could practically taste the emotion on her lips and that taste only got stronger when Lexa gently stuck her tongue into Clarke’s mouth.

 

Clarke kissed her back, inhaling her musky scent that smelled like trees and forest dirt after a steady rain. Her scent that made Clarke feel like she was cozily sitting under millions of blankets next to a fire in a cabin so deep into the woods that the walls oozed the smell of earth .

 

Lexa smelled, was , grounding...but made Clarke feel like she was flying.

 

Chapter Text

Clarke’s POV

 

Clarke sat on her couch and stared at the wall unblinking. The world felt like it was spinning impossibly fast, but somehow staying drop dead still.

 

Lexa pulled away from Clarke, their lips disconnecting with a wet *pop* that made Clarke shiver. The look in Lexa’s eyes was predatory, her irises so black there was almost no green and Clarke had never seen something more attractive. Except then Lexa fucking smirked and Clarke learned that Lexa was just always going to be more beautiful then Clarke could imagine. Staring deep into Clarke’s eyes Lexa ran her tongue along her own bottom lip before biting down on it making Clarke wimper. Then, just like that, the moment was ruined by Kane’s voice over the incom.

 

“Can I have Admiral Woods, First Officer Woods, Intelligence Officer Woods, and Medical Officer Nyko to the hanger bay, your ship has made contact.”

 

Whatever little bubble Lexa and Clarke had been in popped, and with it came a sinking feeling in Clarke’s stomach. ‘Lexa was leaving.

 

Lexa and Clarke stared at each other for a minute, breaths choppy, then Clarke pulled away, making the distance between them greater. “Guess we better go, huh?”

 

For her part Lexa looked crestfallen, “Yes, I suppose so.”

 

Clarke led Lexa down to the hanger bay where Raven, Anya, Nyko, Octavia, Bellamy, Kane, and Lincoln were waiting.

 

Anya turned to face her captain, “Admiral, Kane has been informed our ships exploration pod has been repaired and a small party is on their way to gather us.”

 

Lexa’s face was unreadable and her eyes dull, “Very well. Thank you Anya.” Turning to face Kane, Lexa clasped her hands behind her back, something she did often. “Thank you for having us, if you are ever in need of assistance, please, do not hesitate to call. If there in anyway for us to repay you-”

 

Lexa’s eyes flashed dangerously when Kane interrupted her, but calmed after his words. “I assure you, it was no problem.”

 

Kane opened his mouth to speak, when Octavia interrupted him, “Actually Admiral, I was wondering if I could ask you something.”

 

Kane slanted his head in confusion, and Lexa looked upon Octavia with curiosity, “Please, speak freely.”

 

Octavia took a deep breath, then looked glazed at Bellamy before looking at Lincoln, then back to Lexa. “I was wondering if I could come with you and join the Starfleet.”

 

Clarke gasped before she knew she was doing it and saw Bellamy glaring at Octavia. When he opened his mouth to speak Lexa beat him to it. “If that is your wish, your captain only has to give me authorization.”

 

Clarke’s eyes widened, she couldn’t believe her ears. Lexa was looking at Octavia with nothing but respect and Octavia was practically glowing with excitement. Looking to Kane, Clarke saw confusion written all over his face.

 

“I-Octavia, is this really what you want?”

 

Octavia looked at Kane and raised her chin, “Yes. It is.”

 

“Then it is settled. Octavia will be joining me and my crew on my ship. I’ll have my Second Officer and Vanguard Indra begin your training.”

 

Clarke wanted to ask Lexa what the hell she was doing. She wanted to shout at Lincoln, blame him for making her go. She looked at Raven with desperate hope in her eyes, not wanting one of her best friends to go with her possible lover and charge headfirst into battle. However, Raven was focused on the hanger doors that were opening and reaching for Anya’s hand. Clarke felt a pang of sympathy for her best friend, who was not only losing her lover but also her friend.

 

A small ship about the size of a basketball court landed in the hanger and as soon as the door opened a woman was sprinting out of the ship and flinging herself into Lexa’s arms. Lexa just barely had time to turn, open her arms, and brace her feet before she was stumbling to keep balance of not only herself but another woman in her arms. Clarke stood eyes wide and jaw slack as the tan, dirty blonde roughly grasped Lexa’s jaw and messily pressed their lips together.

 

Clarke felt sick with jealousy, but also enraged at the fact that Lexa had the audacity to kiss her when clearly there was someone else. Clarke looked on as the dirty blonde nuzzled into Lexa’s neck and held on with a death grip.  

 

Nyko cleared his throat, “Admiral?” Lexa looked over the girl’s shoulder at Nyko who was standing next to a stern dark skinned woman and a tan man with a thick brown bread and long braided hair. The look on Lexa’s face was pure surprise, and a hint of confusion. Unceremoniously, she dropped the woman in her arms, and she landed on her feet. Quickly she glanced at Clarke with a look that clearly read ‘I’m sorry’ before turning back to her crew and giving orders.

 

Clarke stood stock still and stared on as one by one Lexa and her crew boarded the ship. Blinking, Clarke found herself looking up into Lexa’s green, guilt heavy eyes, “Clarke.”  Not thinking about how many laws she was breaking, how many knives, daggers, swords, guns and every other weapon she was asking to be used against her, Clarke grit her jaw and brought her hand up.

 

The sound of a slap resonated within the hanger bay as Clarke’s hand made contact with Lexa’s stupidly perfect face.

 

The sound of weapons being pulled from their holsters stopped almost as quick as it started when Lexa raised her hand. Clarke opened her eyes and found Lexa’s closed, her face turned to the side. Already an angry red version of Clarke’s hand was starting to show on Lexa’s face. Jerkily she turned her head back in Clarke direction. Raising her chin slightly and inhale deeply, Lexa opened her eyes. There was a breathy and barely audible “okay” before Lexa turned and walked up the ramp to her ship.

 

Clarke turned and stalked out of the hanger, Kane shouting and running after her.

 

The door to Clarke’s quarters opened and Raven walked in. It had been nearly an hour since Lexa had departed and Clarke had no doubt Raven had probably waited in the hanger for Anya to radio back and say they made it without trouble.

 

“What do you want Raven. I’m not really in the mood.”

 

Ignoring her, Raven made herself comfortable on the other end of Clarke’s couch. “I know I’m not Octavia, and that we don’t usually talk about this stuff, but do you wanna talk about it? You know I know how it feels when someone cheats on you.”

 

Clarke hadn't realized she was crying until a sob racked her body, “I just thought she was different. She seemed so different, so good , so... right. Then...this.”     

 

Raven pulled a sobbing Clarke into her arms and held her close. “That bitch didn’t deserve you anyway.”

 

Despite having just seen Lexa kissing someone else, Clarke still wanted to defend her when Raven so brashly disrespected her.

 

However, she was too busy choking on her own sobs to say a word.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Clarke moved about the ship like a ghost. She hardly spoke to her friends, not that there was much to say with the awkward silence created by Octavia’s absence. The first couple of days her mother and Raven tried to get her to talk but Clarke would simply ignore them in hopes of being left alone. Everything seemed dull, it was almost if seeing how lurid Lexa’s eyes made everything else faded and dull. Clarke operated on autopilot, doing every action by memory without thought.

 

Today she was given the day off after “working too much” and without simple tasks to keep her busy there was nothing to keep her mind from Lexa.

 

The lights in Clarke’s quarters were off, bed unmade, clothes on the floor, and the blonde herself was wrapped in a blanket on her couch. Clarke stared forward at a small radio Raven had made and given to her exactly five days ago after Lexa and her crew left. Raven had an identical radio, and both had the same three channels. Each was a direct correspondent to a member of the other ship. One channel was Anya’s, another Octavia’s, and the last was Lexa’s.  

 

The radio sat exactly where Raven had placed it, only making a noise once when Octavia had called. Anya had no reason to call her, and Clarke knew her line was there for Raven’s purposes, but Lexa hadn’t called either. Clarke didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Lexa hadn’t made some grand gesture of apologizing profusely and begging Clarke to let her explain herself. Clarke knew she should take this as a sign that Lexa was, in fact, guilty, and had no lies to try and get herself in the clear. Or, that this was just an example of how little Clarke meant to her, however, Clarke felt like this was just Lexa giving her space. Days ago, when Clarke had slapped Lexa in the hanger, Lexa hadn’t let any harm come to Clarke and even told Kane Clarke shouldn’t be held accountable for anything. And the look Lexa had given her afterward was one of acceptance and understanding.

 

Making her decision Clarke reached forward and hit the button on the radio. Pressing it up against her ear Clarke only heard silence and her heart sank until,

 

“Klark.”    

 

Chapter Text

Lexa’s POV -(First Person)-

 

Words were a funny thing. Words that were labels even funnier. However, they both had nothing on Timing.

 

Timing, was a fucking bitch and always found a way to screw me over. Costia and I weren’t together anymore, but Clarke didn’t know that.

 

Funny how girlfriend meant someone you could kiss. Funny how commitment meant one and only. Funny how the lack of both and bad timing was all it took to earn me a slap to the face and a woman with hazel eyes telling me she loved me.

 

Funny how if a girl with hazel eyes asked me a month ago to be her girlfriend and to make a commitment to her I would have said yes. I would have been ecstatic. As it was, I met a girl with blue eyes.

 

Timing made me realize I didn’t want a girl with hazel eyes, but instead a girl with blue eyes. But the fucking timing of the hazel eyed girl pushed the blue eyed one away and now I looked like an ass.

 

I thought about all this as I laid on my back on my bed staring at the ceiling of my quarters back on my ship.

 

“Oh my God, Lexa. I can’t believe you’re back. I missed you so much!” Costia beamed as she hugged me for what had to be the tenth time.

 

For what had to be the tenth time I didn’t hug her back.

 

“Stop. Just stop, okay? I’m not doing this again.” I said breathlessly as I pushed her away from me. “I’m not letting you do this to me again.” I couldn’t do this again, couldn’t fall back into her arms like I had so many times before. Costia always had had a way with words, and I had always had a way of listening to them.

 

But then I heard Clarke’s words and suddenly hers weren’t so easy to listen to anymore.

 

“Oh come on Lex, don’t be like this. I promise it’ll be different this time. I promise I’m different. I won’t break your heart again, just...just trust me.”

 

I wondered why she even bothered with me. How she actually felt for me. Why me? Why did she always come back to me? What was so special about me that she always came back to me just to break my heart all over again. Why couldn’t it be one of the dozen or so other girls she’d slept with? Why not the lips of one of thousand of bottles she’d drank instead of mine? “How many time do you say you’re different before you actually change?”

 

I didn’t feel guilty, I didn’t feel angry, I just felt...tired. I felt defeated. How was this my life? This wasn’t what I’d signed up for. I should have listened to Titus.

 

Love was a weakness.

 

“Hey.” I looked up from my textbook and found the pretty girl from my psychology class smiling at me.

 

I blushed and looked away, “Hey.”

 

I heard her giggle, a sound that made my head feel fuzzy, “Can I sit here?”

 

I looked up again, the study hall was practically empty, yet this girl wanted to sit next to me , “Yeah, of course.”

 

I hated that people could have so much control over me. Hated that it made me weak .

 

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as Costia looked up expantly at me, her hand outstretched as she waited for me to cross the threshold of our shared room.

 

“C’mon sleepyhead, you were falling asleep on my lap a minute ago, don’t want you falling asleep in the doorway,” she giggled at me.

 

I took her hand and she pulled me to her chest, pressing my lips to hers in a way that almost fit but not quite. Maybe we just needed a little more practice.

 

I hated that people could get close to me and get control over me. Hated that I ever made the decision to let people in that weren’t Anya or Lincoln.

 

“Lex, it’s not what it looks like, I swear.” Her breath reeked of alcohol and her speech was slurred.

 

My head felt like it was spinning, and my ears were ringing like I was being held underwater.

 

“I-”

 

“Please Lex, just, I’ll explain in the morning,” she pleaded.

 

“Okay.”

 

I sat in silence on the couch of our shared room on my ship. Costia asleep next to me with her head in my lap, my fingers idly running through her hair.

 

She stirred beneath me and my hand stilled, “What happened?”

 

I could feel the tears in my eyes but filled them not to fall. It was getting easier to have this conversation.

 

“You drank again.”

 

She groaned, “Lex, I’m sorry. I was at a party, people were drinking, you know how it is.”

 

It did. She told me every other week.

 

“You said-”

 

She sat up and looked into my eyes, “Please Lex, one more chance. I promise. One more chance.”

 

I looked at her again, maybe this was it. Maybe this time she meant it. “Okay.”

 

She smiled, her shoulders relaxing before she buried her head in my shoulder, “Aspirin?”

 

I kissed the top of her head and reached over to the side table grabbing the bottle of aspirin and glass of water I’d placed there the night before.

 

Little did I know that ‘one more chance’ would turn into about six or seven.

 

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I was tightening the straps on my armor, pulling tighter than I knew I should but in a hurry to get to the hanger. Just fifteen minutes prior to now we had been informed by headquarters there were enemies approaching and would be upon us in about ten minutes or so.

 

As I was reaching for my sword that I carried, a protocol I made everyone on my crew do as a last ditch effort should a blaster fail, when the radio I had placed on my nightstand beeped.

 

I looked over at it, not quite believing it was making noise until it beeped again. I quickly remembered Raven was on a direct line and scrambled to answer it incase their ship was also under attack. I picked up the radio and felt my heart stop when I read the name of the incoming call.

 

“Klark?” I breathed out.

 

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Clarke’s POV

 

Hearing Lexa’s voice made me breath out a breath of relief. I sat in silence, letting the calm of finally being able to talk to her wash over me.  

 

“Klark?” she asked again, in that way were she clicked her k’s and made me want to kiss her. But then I registered the tone of her voice, my brows furrowed. She sounded...tired? And just...concerned. “Klark! Klark, are you okay? Answer me...please.” She sounded so far away, so different.

 

“Lexa? Are you okay?”

 

She breathed out an ‘oh thank God’ before responding with “Yeah, yeah, fine, are you okay? How close is your ship to the warzone?”

 

I leaned forward on the couch more, not believing a word she was saying, “Are you sure? You don’t seem fine.”

 

“Klark! Gon the hodnes gon god beja answer me!” Lexa sounded frantic, panicked.

 

I only understood the last few words and replied with a concerned, “Very far away. Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Lexa breathed a sigh of relief, before there was a voice behind her, “Heda, the baga ste opon osir.”

 

“Lexa?”

 

“Clare-”

 

There was a very loud explosion before the line went to static and I felt my heart drop.

 

What the hell just happened?   

 

 

 

Trigedasleng to English:

 

Gon the hodnes gon god beja answer me- for the love of God please answer me

 

Heda, the baga ste gon osir-Heda, the enemy are upon us

Chapter Text

Clarke’s POV

 

I sat on the couch with the radio in a death grip, poised so it was hovering next to my ear. I could feel the tears starting to build behind my eyes and honestly I was surprised my body had enough water left in it to make tears. There was a frantic banging, pounding , on my door and I sat still as the door *whooshed* open and Raven came barreling inside. Somewhere deep down I knew what was happening, understood this was always a possibility, but deep down was also so fucking deep down that it didn’t matter.

 

Raven was on her knees in front of me, burying her face into my lap and letting out sobs and cries akin to a wounded animal.

 

Octavia. Anya. Lincoln. Nyko.

 

Lexa.

 

I shakily looked to the radio still clutched in my hand, waiting, begging , for Lexa’s voice to sound on the other end. Even a small cough would be enough at this point.

 

There was a scream, I looked down towards Raven but her head shot up.

 

“Commander! Commander! Admiral! HEDA! Lexa! ” there were groans, shuffles, and a sickening wet drip and then-

 

“Raven? Clarke? Are you guys there?” Octavia’s voice sounded through the radio, crackled and static threatening to drown her out, but she was there nonetheless.  

 

Raven recovered first, “Octavia!” Suddenly she was yanking the radio out of my grip and sitting down on the couch next to me, “Octavia, what’s happening?”

 

There was a *pop* on the other end and Octavia’s shrill squeak, then another voice appeared. “Octavia? Octavia are you in there?”

 

I recognized the voice as Lincoln's. A bit more gruff than usual and a lot more strained.

 

“Octavia I’m here with Anya, the doors a little blocked is Heda okay?”

 

Raven heaved a sigh of relief and practically melted into the couch. Tears flooded down her cheeks and her hands gripped the couch roughly.

 

I waited for Octavia’s answer, “I...I don’t know, Linc, I can’t see in here there’s too much smoke!”  Part of me wanted to yell and tell Octavia to get out of there, the other part wanted her to stop at nothing until she found Lexa. “Wait! Wait I think I see someone’s foot!” There was a lot of sounds, most I which I could only discern as movement , before Octavia’s grunting sounds through the speakers. I tried not to get my hopes up, tried not to think of all the best case scenarios. “Ryder!”

 

My heart dropped out of my feet.

 

I couldn’t believe I was listing to this. This sounded like something from another world, another lifetime.

 

“You Mountain scum!” came from somewhere further away from Octavia.

 

More shuffling and movement and then Octavia was yelling, “Lincoln!”

 

Gunshots and grunts sounded in the background before a loud *slam* took over everything.

 

“Anya! Anya!” Lincoln’s concerned voice flitted over the radio, “Let her go! Let her go you bastards!” By now Raven’s body was rigid and tense, she was perched on the edge of the couch, looking pale and sick.   

 

Octavia coughed and it sounded raw, painful. “Lincoln! Lincoln we’re stuck!”

 

I realized too late what was going to happen, and I had to sit powerless and listen as it all unfolded. “Octavia they took Anya!”

 

Ryder’s voice, gruff, deep, strong...failing, “She’s as good as dead already! Lincoln, it’s her or the two of us!”

 

There was a tense moment of silence, the only noises were the flames crackling around Octavia and Ryder, and Raven’s soft, broken sobs.

 

There was the sound of wood breaking, and Lincoln’s grunts, “Where’s Heda?”

 

“I don’t know, I couldn’t find her!” Octavia shouting, voice raw and almost gone.

 

“Go! Help the others defend themselves, we’ll look for her!” Lincoln yelling to be heard over the roaring of the flames.

 

Radio silence.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Raven sat curled into my side, having cried herself to sleep maybe an hour or so ago. I rubbed up and down her spine and tried not to think about what we listened too. It had been nearly three hours since Octavia had lost connection, or hung up, or whatever, with us and I don’t think I had breathed properly since. The rest of the crew had been informed by Starfleet that the U.S.S Grounder and been attacked by an enemy ship and many crew members had been killed or taken hostage. They were still awaiting numbers and all ships were told to evacuate the surrounding area.

 

My mom came and stopped by, she had stood in the doorway, opening and closing her mouth a few times before looking at Raven. I’d had shook my head slightly, and she had nodded once, then turned and walked away. No one had been by since. I only felt slightly bad for the rest of my friends, and God, Bellamy, for the possible loss of Octavia, but actually listening, listening , to the terror of war shut Raven and I down.

 

I thought about my last conversations with the few crew members I had known on the U.S.S Grounder.

 

“Anya, I can’t believe you’ve never played bullshit before!” I exclaimed.

 

Anya just shrugged, Raven clutching her arm and Octavia scoffed, “Today’s your lucky day then. I’m the best bullshitter around.”

 

Raven scoffed, “Debatable.”

 

I smirked, “Exactly, everyone knows I’m the best bullshitter.”

 

Raven pouted and Anya laughed and kissed her cheek.

 

At least Anya and I had parted of good terms. Lincoln and I hadn’t spoke much, he mostly just followed Octavia around like a lost puppy. Octavia and I hadn’t really had any parting words since she left, but Raven had talked to her and she wasn’t mad at me, so I knew that much.

 

But then I thought of Lexa.

 

(In third person because it’s from an older chapter. I decided not to change it for “effect”)

 

“Clarke.”  Not thinking about how many laws she was breaking, how many knives, daggers, swords, guns and every other weapon she was asking to be used against her, Clarke grit her jaw and brought her hand up.

 

The sound of a slap resonated within the hanger bay as Clarke’s hand made contact with Lexa’s stupidly perfect face.

 

The sound of weapons being pulled from their holsters stopped almost as quick as it started when Lexa raised her hand. Clarke opened her eyes and found Lexa’s closed, her face turned to the side. Already an angry red version of Clarke’s hand was starting to show on Lexa’s face. Jerkily she turned her head back in Clarke's direction. Raising her chin slightly and inhaling deeply, Lexa opened her eyes. There was a breathy and barely audible “okay” before Lexa turned and walked up the ramp to her ship.

 

Who probably died with my slap still on her face.

 

I had never wished so hard for a human being to be alive in my entire life, and I still remembered getting the call my father’s ship and been attacked.  

 

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Lexa’s POV

 

I felt hot. Not the kind of hot you feel when you walk onto the beach barefoot and the sun feels like it’s searing crinkles into your skin. Not the kind of hot you feel when your crush walks into the room and talks to you.

 

No, the kind of hot one feels when they grab a hot pan with their bare hand. Or grabs the metal part of a seatbelt when the sun's been shining into your windows for too long.

 

Except I felt it along my entire back and all of my extremities, and it wasn’t letting up.

 

I vaguely registered my ribs breaking and my head bleeding before I was being hefted to my feet and yanked by the collar to the door. I knew the big, rough, calloused hands to be Lincoln’s and let him drag my limp body away from...whatever. My ears were ringing and my eyes must not have been working right because I swear the room was upside down.

 

There were sounds all around me, the chaos of it all was almost comforting. I felt I could slip away and no one would notice. Just like an old radio trying to tune into the proper station, Lincoln’s voice slowly filtered in through the rest.

 

“Lexa! Lexa please!”

 

Amongst his voice thousands of others crying out “Heda” and “Admiral”, and then “Commander.”

 

My eyes snapped open to the faces of my crew and the yellow wisps of fire and smoke. I had a job to do, a mission…

 

I was the Commander.

 

I was Heda.

 

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Raven’s POV

 

I don’t know what woke me up, just that when I did there was all about twenty seconds of bliss before I realized what all had happened.

 

The first thing I noticed was that the hand gently rubbing up and down my back wasn’t Anya’s. It was too firm, too small, too soft, not slightly boney and calloused.

 

The second thing I noticed was the teal color of the couch beneath me, not the red of my own.

 

Shit.

 

I sat up and turned my head to see Clarke, looking pale and for lack of a better term, dishealved. Her light blonde hair was all over the place and sticking up at random, her skin was a lighter shade of pale I hadn’t seen since Jake’s death, which contrasted wonderfully with the dark bags under her eyes, and made the clear trails of dried tears on her face all the more prominent.

 

“Clarke?”

 

She didn’t turn to look at me, but stayed facing the wall ahead of her, the radio almost falling out of her near limp grasp. “We’re moving further away, Jaha doesn’t want whatever ship attacked the Grounder to raid or possibly attack us.”

 

I said nothing, it made sense, but Clarke didn’t look like she was done talking. “I fought them on it. Argued with everything I could to get them to turn around, to help, to do something, anything, but the decision was final. We had already saved them enough, apparently we owed nothing more to them and wanting to save them would get me killed just like my father.” Clarke turned to look at me then, blue eyes dimmed to a dull grey and face devoid of any emotion other than blank. “Bellamy looked so disappointed in me, like it’s my fault Octavia wanted to follow Lexa onto that stupid fucking ship!” Clarke’s voice broke on Octavia and Lexa’s names, like they pained her to speak them.

 

I supposed they did.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sitting alone in my quarters was possibly the worst thing I’d ever done to myself.

 

Besides probably falling in love with Anya. Maybe. Most definitely.

 

It was stupid really, how quickly I’d let her become everything to me, but fitting given how quickly she was taken away. I hadn’t cried since I’d listened with Clarke over the radio and honestly didn’t think I could anymore.

 

I wasn’t sad, really. Just...empty. It felt like someone had reached in and taken something I didn’t know I had until they took it. I suddenly wished I told Anya everything I ever wanted her to know and then some while wanting exactly the opposite. I’d wished she’d never be taken away from me, but also that I’d never had her in the first place. Both seemed inevitable. Both impossible. Only one really wanted.

 

I couldn’t imagine anything without Anya anymore. It was like being a child all over again and being asked what you wanted to do the rest of your life. Where you wanted to go. If you wanted kids. Where you were going to live. What you were willing to give. I had always answered “I don’t know” because I was a kid and I didn’t. Then I was hanging up a high school degree on my wall and answering “I don’t know” because I was an adult and I didn’t.

 

Being with Anya was like answering all those questions. Because while I eventually decided I wanted to be a mechanic, I never really knew . Just knew I could. Then I’d met Finn and thought I knew, but I didn’t. Then I met Anya and I knew. I knew it didn’t matter where I was, what I did, none of it. None of it mattered as long as it was with her.

 

And now she was gone and I was thinking “I don’t know” because she was all I wanted to know.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I couldn’t take it. I had a feeling and I had an idea. The latter of the two almost never being good. So I found myself elbow deep in an escape pod tinkering until it hummed a little faster and glowed a little brighter.

 

It was also how I found myself breaking into Clarke’s quarters and stuffing a pillow over the other girl’s mouth so she was quiet when she woke. This resulted in me narrowly avoiding a broken nose.

 

Together Clarke and I snuck out and down the halls until we were in the hanger. We were about three feet away when hands grabbed us each on a shoulder and were pulling us to a stop.

 

I mentally swore vengeance.

 

However, when we were turned around, we were met with the tired and questioning gaze of Bellamy Blake.

 

“What are you doing?” he whisper shouted.  

 

“What does it look like?” I whisper shouted back.

 

He looked behind us at the pod which I had modified, “Take me with you.”

 

I opened my mouth but Clarke spoke, “No.”

 

Bellamy looked back at us, “Clarke, Octavia’s my sister.”

 

Clarke looked Bellamy deep in the eyes, “Right but you’re needed here. Let us go, we’ll bring her back.” I heard the unspoken If she’s not already dead.

 

“Why? I can shoot guns, you’ll need the muscle.”

 

Clarke sighed, “Look, it’s not good for our ship to be in any kind of fighting. We’ll get destroyed and there are kids on this ship. Raven and I can pull off the excuse of being grief stricken like we have for the past few days. You, however, have been out and about and can’t just suddenly disappear. If you can convince everyone we’re in our cabins while we’re gone it should give us enough headway to reach the Grounder’s ship before they come looking for us.”

 

Admittedly it was a good plan.

 

Bellamy looked at Clarke and I for maybe a minute longer, until he nodded and took a blaster out of the holster on his hip and handed it to me. “Be safe, bring her back.”

 

Clarke and I hopped into the escape pod and set a course for where we believed the grounder ship was located.

 

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Clarke’s POV

 

I told myself not to get my hopes up. That Octavia and Anya and Lincoln and Lexa could all very well be dead and that I could be flinging myself into a death trap, but I just had a feeling that Lexa was okay.

 

It took surprisingly less time than I thought to reach the Grounder’s ship, but when questioned about it Raven merely shrugged and said she may have rewired a few things.

 

When the U.S.S Grounder came into view it was easy to tell something was wrong. It was stock still in one place, and though there were windows, the rooms all remained dark. At first I was surprised by the sleek modern design, but quickly turned my thoughts to other things when I noticed the big gaping hole in the side of the ship.

 

As we got closer I could see bodies floating just outside the jagged twisted metal edge of the hole. I couldn’t tell what the room was, but couldn’t really look to much either when Raven started gagging at the ghastly sight of the floating bodies. As we moved past one I was relieved to see the open eyes weren’t a familiar shade of forest green, but a milky brown.

 

“She’s not one of them,” I said to a hunched over Raven. Although, admittedly, I didn’t know if I was speaking about Anya, on Raven’s behalf, Octavia for the both of us, or Lexa for my own sanity.

 

“What do we do now?” Raven asked as she eased herself into one of the seats by a steering panel. Luckily our question was answered for us when the hanger door of the ship was open. However, when we came around to the opening of the door, we were met with armed warriors. I looked over at Raven with my hands in the air, and thankfully found her to be doing the same.

 

After getting the go-ahead from the same stoic dark-skinned warrior I had seen before, Raven and I landed in the hanger.

 

“What are you doing here? You must go back to your ship and tell them to get away from this area at once!” she ordered.

 

Raven stepped forward, “Look lady, I don’t know who you are, but Clarke and I just came-”

 

“Enough!”

 

Raven and the warrior both visibly stiffened while was stood glued to the spot. Slowly I turned around and was met with the bloody, yet sexy, sight of a Lexa in full armor.

 

Of course then I looked to her face wanting to get a glimpse of those green eyes that haunted me when I closed my eyes, only to find one was hidden behind a sheet of black blood pouring out of a cut from her forehead. Naturally, once I noticed the first cut the others revealed themselves. Lexa had a nasty black eye on the same one that was covered in blood (the only way I could tell it was a black eye was the fact that is was swelled nearly all the way shut), her perfectly plump bottom lip now sported a split that went halfway to her chin, and those were just the ones I could see. Her suit sported more red blood than black, however, that meant somewhere along the line she had been cut enough that it bled through. It also didn’t help that Lexa stood tall like there wasn’t a problem in the world with her.

 

Once I noticed all the damage done to Lexa, the glamor on the rest of the ship seemed to fade and I saw it for the first time for what it was.

 

Damaged.

 

Beside me Raven stood oddly quiet. “Um, is...is her blood...black?”

 

I smiled and looked towards Lexa again, only to be met with the same impassive face I had seen on her that day in the cell, however, this time I couldn’t see a glint of anything in her eyes.

 

“Clarke, Raven, what are you doing here? Our ship was recently attacked, as I’m sure you know, so this isn’t a safe place at the moment. If you’re here to ask a favor in return for our previous endeavors, I ask you be merciful as I’m afraid the most aid I can offer is three soldiers.”

 

I scanned the faces of Lexa’s crew, there were tense, waiting for her command, loyal...but they all looked tired. Worn.

 

“Raven and I are here to help. I’m a doctor and she’s an engineer.” For the briefest of moments, I could have sworn I saw maybe relief or affection flash through Lexa’s eyes, but just like that it was gone again.    

 

“I cannot offer you anything in return. I will not ask you to put your lives in danger.”

 

I walked over to Lexa, careful not to touch or get to close, “Lexa, I’m not asking.”

 

The warrior from before spoke up, “How dare you disrespect Heda by calling her-”

 

With a look from Lexa she quieted down again and someone stepped forward. “Permission to speak, Heda?”

 

I was shocked to find a boy no older than ten standing with his fair share of cuts and bruises looked up at Lexa with what could only be described as all the admiration in the world. Lexa looked down on him softly, fondly, in a way a mother or sister might look down at a small child. Instantly I wandered the connection between the two. “Please, speak freely Aden.”

 

The boy nodded, “Heda, I think you should let the pretty blonde take you to the medbay, no offense but you’ve looked better.” There was a quiet murmur of agreement throughout all of Lexa’s crew but I looked over to see her shaking her head.

 

“I will not put myself before my crew. I am only as good as my crew, and only as well as my ship. I appreciate the kindness though, Aden. Aden and Charlotte this is Clarke, you’ll go with her to get checked out.” Lexa scanned the crowd, her gazed quickly darting between everyone in attendance, “Edmund, Fry, Toad, Juli, Eva, and Kev, you’ll go with them. Half of you, come with me to search for more survivors, the other half, go with Indra. Sev, lock the doors and put the ship on lockdown. I don’t care who they are, no one will be entering this ship. Be aware, there I many holes on the west lower wing, do not get sucked out one. Serena and Evan, make sure to block off those hallways.” Everyone listened to her orders with a steely gaze and listening ears.

 

Her voice carried a note of finality, and after her words everyone sprung into action. I looked over my shoulder at Raven who was hiding under a mask of collected calm. To my left there were a few staggered steps then Octavia’s voice calling my name, softly, almost like it wasn’t real.

 

“Clarke?”

 

I whipped my head around to see a grimy and sweaty Octavia who didn’t look to have taken any damage aside from a bleeding nose and a busted lip.

 

“Octavia?” I asked, having almost convinced myself that she was dead.

 

“O!” a burly voice called, “You’re with us, looking for survivors east wing, lets go!”

 

Octavia stood and stared at me a moment longer, then took off running. I sighed, then let Aden led me towards the medbay.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was almost six hours before I saw either Raven or Octavia, after taking care of almost every member of the Grounders in the medbay.

 

Everyone except Lexa.

 

Octavia came into the medbay a tray in each of her hands, Raven trailing behind with a tray of her own.

 

“Clarkey! You came to visit me?” Octavia cheered, although her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. I suspected this had something to do with Lincoln having a minor concussion and a broken arm. Raven however, looked like a ghost.

 

“Rae?” I asked after Octavia had handed me a tray and the silence had been overwhelming.

 

“They took her.”

 

“Who, Rae? Who took her?” I of course understood the “her” we were talking about to be Lexa.

 

Octavia roughly set her fork down, “The Mountain Men.”

 

I looked at Octavia, not quite understanding what she was talking about, when Nyko piped up from his place in the corner. I’d forgotten about him until now, and hearing his voice almost made me fall off the stool I was sitting on.

 

“The Mountain Men are a nickname given to the members on a ship called ‘Mount Weather’. They were originally a ship that was supposed to monitor weather patterns on different planets, however, they soon become outlawed by Starfleet when they used their knowledge of weather to cause radiation leaks on twelve planets. Most severely on planet Triku.” My heart dropped when he spoke the name of Lexa’s planet, and when he gave me a look, first of shock then of understanding from my obvious discomfort and unease on the topic I knew he understood the severity of the topic.

 

Right as I was about to ask about what other planets had been faced with radiation leaks, the door to the medbay opened. In walked a very, very, pale Lexa, who was being led by a very concerned Aden and a girl-who I had learned from meeting her-Charlotte

 

“Clarke, we tried to get her to see you sooner but she wouldn’t listen. Can you please, please, please, fix her?” a panicked Charlotte asked me. I shot Octavia and Raven a look, both of which were looking at Lexa with concern.  

 

Lexa turned to me, looking almost like a zombie, “Clarke...really...s’fine. I’m...mmmm….fiiine”

 

“Lexa, you are very obviously not fine, now get over here,” I ordered, surprised when my own voice didn’t waver. Raven stood up, followed by Octavia who took Aden and Charlotte out of the room, albeit a few protests.

 

“Clarke, would you like any assistance? I know how Heda can be,” Nyko asked me, voice laced with understanding and a little concern. When I looked over at him, I read his face well. I wondered how many times Lexa had stumbled onto his table, bleeding out but not seeking any help.

 

“Nightco, you knho I can wap bandages myhelph,” Lexa tried to protest, then fell forward, only to be caught by Nyko. He gently swooped her up into his arms and laid her down on the table, an action that looked almost second nature.

 

“I think I’ve got her. You go ahead get something to eat, get some rest,” I told him, softening after seeing the tender way her was looking down at Lexa. Almost how someone would look down at their sleeping child while they were sick.  

 

“Let me know if you are in need of assistance,” he said turning to walk out the door. He paused in the doorframe and looked over his shoulder, “Oh, and no matter how bad you know it’ll hurt don’t use painkillers. She hates it.”

 

I nodded my thanks and turned my attention back to a sleeping Lexa. She looked rough, clothes torn and more blood stained since the last time I’d seen them.

 

I started gently removing her armor, having to tug on the straps to get them to come undone until Lexa was down to a tight, but blood soaked, black tank top and tight black leggings. I untied the laces on her boots and winced when I poured blood out of them. Red blood I reminded myself not Lexa’s .

 

I gently set her boots on a table behind me, next to her shockingly clean red sash. When I turned back, Lexa’s dull green eyes were looking at me.

 

“I’m sorry Clarke.”

 

I looked at her with wet eyes, “For what Lexa? You’re the one laying here bleeding out on my table.”

 

Lexa turned her head back, eyes scanning the room and brow furrowing as she realized where she was for the first time. “Ai'm sorry, klark.”

 

Those were the last things she said to me before I told her she could pass out.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I worked quietly. Taking her shirt off to wrap bandages around things that could be fixed with a little time. Stitching things that needed a little more. A few times I had to cut her open to remove something that should not have been, only to stitch and wrap it up afterward. Once her body from head to toe was cleaned and wrapped, a task that had taken hours , I set out to do her face. Taking a towellet I wiped at the skin around her eyes, confused when I found black paint there. Making a mental note to ask Octavia about it later, I gently wiped the black blood away from her swollen eye, and busted lip. Once her face was cleared of all dirt, blood, and smoke residue, I placed ointment over her eye to help with swelling and kissed her forehead.

 

Using a comm button in the room I asked for some assistance in moving Lexa from a table to a bed, and was happy to see Lincoln walking into the room a few minutes nearby. He said he was nearby but given his slightly choppy breath I’d guessed he’d ran from somewhere.

 

Once Lexa was moved into a bed, I was reminded of how pale her usually tan skin was as she looked small and frail in the bed around her. A far cry from the woman of power and dominance I’d seen before.

 

As I was sitting by Lexa’s side, subconsciously rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand, I tuned in to her slightly increased breathing. I looked over to see Lexa with beads of sweat lining her forehead and brows furrowed. At first I thought she had a fever, but when she started thrashing I realized it was either a nightmare or a panic attack. Immediately I jumped up from my stool and tried to calm her to no avail.

 

“Lexa, hey Lexa, shhhh, it’s okay, you’re safe,” I cooed at her, but it didn’t stop. I kept whispering calming words to her before I noticed her lips were moving, I stopped talking long enough to try and understand what she was whispering. She seemed to be whispering a name over and over again.

 

“C-”

 

My heart leapt to my throat-

 

“Costia-”

 

I felt tears well in my eyes but I didn’t have the energy to fathom why, although I had an inkling. Turning around, I pressed the comm button again, asking for “Costia.”

 

A few minutes later the same honey-coloured dirty blonde from the hanger came bursting through the medbay doors, her face full of concern. I wanted to warn her to be quiet, as not to disturb the other resting or unconscious patients, but she was already at Lexa’s side.

 

“Lex. Hey, Lex, listen to me, ok? Just...this’ll be just like old times.” The dirty blonde, Costia, put Lexa’s clammy hand and put it on her chest, exaggerating her breathing so Lexa could feel it. “Come back kom me ai hodnes. Won, tu, thri,” she bent over to put her forehead against Lexa’s, their lips ghosting when she spoke, “Fou, fai, sis…”

 

Lexa’s breathing had evened out again and I saw Costia sigh in relief. She sat back up and looked over at me, a small smile on her face, “Whew, it’s been awhile since the last one.”

 

I didn’t know what to say, I’d already felt like I’d been intruding on a moment I wasn’t meant to see, yet here I still sat.

 

Licking my lips to give myself something to do, I asked the first question that came to mind, “So you and Lexa are close?”

 

I mentally winced at my own awkwardness.

 

Costia sighed, thumb running over the back of one of Lexa’s limp hands, “I guess you could say we once were.” She turned to stare at Lexa, lost in memories, “I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, had my own problems, somehow, for some reason, Lex stook around.” She looked back up at me, “Until you came along.”

 

I expected anger, pain, hurt, jealousy, confusion, sadness, hate, anything to show me that Costia was in no way happy with my presence, however, she looked at me with a look of resignation. Her eyes were misty, a thin smile graced her lips, “She’s been through a lot, I’ve put her through even more, you’re playing with a wild, self-controlled, broken, fire...but you won’t be the one who burns.” Costia looked back at Lexa’s peaceful face, wearing a fond smile. She leaned down and kissed Lexa’s forehead, tip of her nose, then her lips, “ I told you I’d changed this time.” Before she got up and left, looking back once over her shoulder before slipping out the door.

 

Clarke sat in silence, listening to the breathing of the patients in the beds around her. Someone coughed and groaned a few beds away from Lexa and broke Clarke out of her thoughts.

 

(Weird POV change in the ending Yeah sorry IDK)

 

Chapter Text

Clarke’s Pov

 

It was sometime after midnight when Clarke felt two hands shaking her shoulders, trying to wake her. Squinting her eyes open, Clarke saw Raven looking down at her under furrowed brows, “Clarke, get up. C’mon.”

 

Growling, Clarke rolled back over and stuffed her face into her pillow, “Ugh, Rae, five more minutes?”

 

It was weak at best and Clarke knew it, apparently Raven did too, as in the next minute Clarke’s covers were being yanked off her, exposing her body to the cold air of the ship around her.

 

“C’mon, Commander dearest wants us,” Raven said evenly, only half awake herself.

 

At the mention of Lexa, Clarke jumped sprung from her bed with a new purpose. Because ‘Lexa’. Clarke was about to grab a pair of pants off the floor ‘seriously self? You’ve been here two days and you’ve already got clothes on the floor? Get a grip Griff’ when Raven’s had grabbed her wrist.

 

“No time, plus, everyone else is gonna be in their PJ’s,” Raven offered up with a half-hearted shrug and blank expression. Clarke frowned at her friend, hating that with Anya gone so was her best friend, leaving her with a shell of the girl she knew. Raven sighed at Clarke’s continued stare, “I’ll explain on the way, okay? C’mon Lexa wanted us there five minutes ago.”

 

Clarke nodded and followed Raven out of the room.

 

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On the walk to the meeting room, which thankfully had not been damaged during the Mountain Men’s raid, Clarke learned that she and Raven, as well as Lexa’s other upper-crewsmen would be secretly and, somewhat illegally, be listening into a call with said Mountain men. Apparently, their Captain, Cage Wallace, who worked for his father Ex-Starfleet Captain Dante Wallace, reached out to Lexa to offer a trade of sorts. Clarke had yet to know the details of said trade but could only hope it worked out in the Grounder prisoners’ favors.

 

Reaching the meeting room, Raven held her pointed finger to her lips to signal Clarke to be quiet, though her eyes were blank, lacking their usual mirth. Clarke nodded and followed Raven as she crept along the wall of the room, stopping when she was next to Lincoln.

 

In the center of the room was a long table, with at least a dozen chairs split between the two sides, and Lexa stood at the head, facing the wall with the door Clarke and Raven had entered a few moment prior. On the far wall, or the front of the room, was a large projection that contained the picture of a young man. He looked a little older than Clarke, his dark skin seeming to glow over the projection. His head was shaved bald, and his wide nostrils flared; Cage Wallace. Looking at the wall across from her, Clarke saw the rest of the crew lined up similar to herself, Raven, and Lincoln. They were all facing the front wall, lips sealed shut, and hands clasped behind their backs. It occured to Clarke that Lexa must allow her crew to be present for all private communication calls. Clarke found the idea both sweet and intriguing, thinking once again, that Lexa would never be able to not surprise her in some way that was either endearing or courageous.

 

“Admiral Base Commander Captain Woods, my father, against my advice I might add, has suggested a trade,” Cage started. Clarke saw Lexa’s lip twitch up in faintested hints of a smile when Cage grit out her full title. With a disinterested flick of her wrist, Lexa motioned for him to continue. “I’ll get to the point then. As I’m sure you’re aware, we have six-five now, of your men,” at the way Cage smiled when discreetly saying one of Lexa’s crew had died, Clarke watched all the other crewmen's faces morph into anger while Lexa herself remained impassive. The only nothion she’s heard anything at all was the way her eyes turned dark and powerful.

 

In something that resembled a snarl Lexa spit, “What’s the deal Cage? I haven’t got all day, one’s schedule gets rather full when they’re planning a hundred and one ways to make your life a living hell without simply outright killing your ass.”  

 

Clarke saw she saw Cage grow plae and gulp but before she could really think about it he was speaking again, “Never one for small talk are you Alexandria? You know, I hear you’re very much like your useless father when you want to be.”

 

Lexa slammed her hand down on the table, her disinterested facade long since gone. In a tone that was too calm for Clarke to comfortably listen to, Lexa responded, “At least my father would have gotten off his ass and fought the enemy himself. And unlike you, I kill my enemies before they have the chance to make small talk.”

 

“I’m still talking Woods,” Cage said with a smile.

 

Lexa grinned much like a wolf, showing all her teeth with a deadly gleam in her inhuman eyes, “I like to play with my food.”

 

Cage involuntarily sat back and Clarke felt the air in the room change, the blonde never could read people but she understood well enough that Lexa was in charge now. Whatever pissing match the two had been in Lexa had won, and her crew looked at her in both pride, respect, and a little fear.

 

“Now Cage, if I recall, it is terribly hard to listen to your whiny voice, you were here to offer me a deal?”  

 

A snarl overtook Cage’s thin lips, a muscle working in his chiseled jaw, “You, for you men.”

 

Clarke watched as every head in the room turned to look at Lexa with wide eyes. Even Clarke understood that for five men that were more than likely already dead, this was basically suicide.With anger in her eyes and this rouse to anger Lexa Clarke turned to glare at Cage, even though she knew he couldn’t see her.  

 

“Deal.”

 

Clarke whipped her head around so fast she was positive she’d given herself whiplash. Even Cage looked surprised. Suppressing the urge to yell “WHAT?” at Lexa, Clarke watched as Lexa snarkily finished the conversation and hung up, the blood rushing in her ears preventing her from hearing anymore of something she more than likely should have been listening to. The moment the call ended the room erupted into chaos.

 

“Captain, you can’t be serious!”

 

“Heda!”

 

“They’re dead anyway!”

 

“Nou be branwada Heda, disha ste gouthru klin en yu know em. Nou be heroic,” Do not be foolish Heda, this is suicide and you know it. Do not be heroic) at the last voice, the small mob that had gathered around Lexa split to reveal a large bald man in a cloak.

 

Lexa became impassive again, “Titus, do what do I owe the pleasure of your unwanted advice?” ‘Okay, so not the best of friends but,’

 

Titus sighed and placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder that looked more painful than comforting, “Alexandria, you know this is foolish, I only ask you stop and consider your people.” Clarke wondered how someone could sound that condescending and Lexa not slap them.

 

Lexa sighed and Clarke got the impression that the two had had similar conversations in the past. “I am thinking about my people, Titus. I will not be a leader who sits by and watches her people suffer, or be killed. Why do you think I created the coalition? If my people had been banded together in the past maybe I wouldn’t have spent five years at war.”

 

Looking at Lexa now, in that moment, Clarke thought she looked much older than she was. The blonde knew she couldn’t be much older than herself, and thinking that she had somehow have been able to spend five years at war pulled at her heart. The way the shadows in the room cast over her lithe figure made her eyes look dark and features drawn and downcast. Clarke even imagined the grey streaks that surely would one day paint her hair, however, Lexa then caught her eye Clarke though she looked young, free...innocent.

 

She was one of those things by force, another by her own work, and the last by birth.

 

“Clarke, what are you thinking about so hard up in that head of yours?” Lexa asked, a fond smile gracing her lips.

 

Clarke shook her head as the image of Cage Wallace’s mind came to the forefront, “Lexa, why’d you take the deal? Surely you know that’s suicide.”

 

Lexa sighed and looked down at the floor a little to Clarke’s left, and look similar to disappointment in her eyes and posture. Clarke couldn’t help but wonder why.

 

“I thought you of all people would understand that, have my back even.” Lexa sounded dejected, tired . Clarke blinked, shocked at the reaction and the raw truth in Lexa’s voice. “Come back to this room in about three hours, that should be enough time for you to prepare. When you return we’ll discuss a plan of action. For now, I wish to speak with Raven.” With that Lexa turned and walked over to the Latina who still stood in shock from the previous events.

 

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POV Raven, 3rd

 

Raven stood with a slack jaw as thoughts ran rampant through her head. ‘I could see Anya again’ being the most prominent

 

“Raven.”

 

The voice brought Raven back to the present. The present where Lexa stood looming over her like a dark cloud. “Commander,” Raven managed to squeak.

 

“I wish to talk to you about this evenings ‘trade,” Lexa clasped her hands behind her back, “It is important that what we talk about stays between us. Understood?”

 

Raven was now fully anchored into the present, “Does Clarke know?”

 

Lexa answered in short, “No, and she cannot. You and I are to be the only people informed of my plan. However, as far as the others are concerned our plan has yet to be discussed and will be decided on in exactly three hours time.”

 

Nodding, Raven understood the amount of trust Lexa was putting on her, she was determined not to fuck up. “Lay it on me.”

 

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The plan was simple; Clarke, Octavia, Lincoln, and herself would pilot a small ship over to one of the landing bays on the side of Mount Weather. Thanks to Lexa’s inside man, Echo, the prisoners would be waiting for them to escape. Titus would escort Lexa to the designated trade location, where Cage was supposed to meet them. Since Lexa doubted Cage would hold up his end of the deal she would be ready with Titus to strike him down instead of handing herself over.

 

All-in-all Raven thought it was a pretty foolproof plan, yet she couldn’t help but think back to the conversation she’d had with Lexa the day Anya had been taken.  

 

Raven grabbed her radio off of her nightstand, holding her breath as she pushed the button to put her through to Lexa.

 

“Heya?” Lexa had said into the microphone, her native language rolling off her tongue smoothly.  

 

“Lexa? It’s Raven.” Raven answered, pulling her knees to her chest in anticipation of the pending conversation.

 

“Raven? Is Clarke alright?” Raven smiled to herself despite recent events. After learning of Lexa’s toxic relationship with the girl Raven now knew as Costia, she had respect for the girl for still caring about Clarke all things considered. More so that her ship had just been attacked and crew taken, not to mention her voice sounded forced.

 

“Clarke’s alright, she wants to know if you’re okay-” there was the sound of a gunshot in the background.

 

“If she asks I’m working on it.” A grunt, this time from Lexa.

 

“Yeah, look Anya-wait are you fighting people right now?” Raven sat up straighter, hoping against hope she would not be the cause of the Commander’s death.

 

“Yes, so if you would, please be quick?”

 

Raven took a deep breath, “Anya, will you get her back?”

 

There was another grunt and a mumbled series of swear words in both english and not, “I swear to you on my life, I will get Anya back. Dead of alive, I promise you I will do everything in my power to bring her back to you, even if it kills me.”

 

Raven swallowed, Lexa sounded genuine, “Even if it kills you?”

 

There wasn’t a single breath of hesitation, “Even if it kills me.” There was a pause, followed by more shots and grunts both from Lexa and not, “I need you to promise me something.”

 

Raven shook her head before she realized Lexa couldn’t see that, “Anything.”

 

“Make Anya happy.”

 

“I promise.”

 

“Even if it kills you?”

 

Raven gulped and closed her eyes, “Even if it kills me.”

 

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Before Lexa had hung up she made Raven promise not to tell Clarke she was alive, as she wasn’t positively sure she was going to make it, however, she did tell Raven if she did happen to die her last order would have been to send a group of soldiers from Starfleet to officially attack Mount Weather. Raven had actually been convinced Lexa was dead when there was a cry of pain from the burnette and the line went dead, so, to save her friend from possibly false information, Raven said nothing.   

 

Raven walked back to her shared room with Clarke, twenty minutes after the blonde herself had left, intending to pack her things to prepare for a possible fight while trying to remain discreet as to Lexa’s true plans.

 

No one needed to know that Lexa intended to blow both herself and Cage up with a bomb should she be taken hostage onto their ship for real.

 

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POV Clarke, 3rd

 

Clarke paced her shard room with Raven while the Latina packed her bag. “Raven, why did Lexa want to talk to you?” she finally asked when the other girl failed to bring forth any information on the subject.

 

Raven sighed, “She just wanted to tell me a few things about the ship before she takes ‘the walk’.”

 

Clarke froze. How could she forget? Lexa was planning to sacrifice herself. Clarke spun around and faced Raven, “Raven! She’s going to get herself killed!”

 

“She’s going to save people.”

 

“Five, five people.”

 

“Exactly, five for the price of one.”

 

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “Anya is possibly one of those five.”

 

Raven turned to face Clarke, “So? That doesn’t change that fact that five is greater than one.”

 

The two girls stared each other down, and suddenly Clarke understood the real conversation they were having. Clarke could ask Raven to forget Anya, so she could have Lexa. Or Raven could ask Clarke to let Lexa go, so she could have Anya. With a bitter taste in her mouth Clarke translated the words within Raven’s own. I have Anya, you slapped Lexa, pushed her away. And that was the truth. Raven could lose Anya and say she lost her girlfriend. Clarke could lose Lexa and say she lost a friend.

 

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Clarke sat through the meeting trying to listen to Lexa while committing every detail of her to memory. The way her brows would bunch together when she was focused or thinking hard. The way her green eyes were the only way to tell what she was thinking. Her beautiful braids Clarke could admire for days. How her plump lips always over pronounced the “k” in her name-

 

“Clarke!”

 

Jumping in her seat, Clarke looked up from her lidded expression to see Lexa looking at her expantly. Remembering where she was, Clarke realized she had absolutely no idea what the hell was going on. Looking at Lexa’s eyes Clarke saw the amusement swimming in green pools. Lexa ever so slightly nodded her head ‘yes’ and Clarke somehow understood what Lexa was trying to say, trying to get her to say.

 

“Yes, of course Commander.”

 

Looking pleased with herself Lexa continued to say a few words of thanks, giving a farewell speech to her crew, allowing Clarke to zone out and pretend this wasn’t happening. Once the meeting was done Lexa passed by Clarke’s seat on her way to speak with one of her officers and managed to slip a note onto the the table in front of Clarke.

 

I’m going to formally say goodbye to my officers, stay behind so we can talk?

 

Looking up Clarke saw Lexa hugging some girl from the engineering department, with Lexa looking at her. Nodding, Clarke saw what looked like relief flood Lexa’s face. Clarke watched as Lexa went from crew member to crew member. Some giving her hugs, crying on her shoulder. A few saluting her with misty eyes or faraway looks. The energy in the room was palpable; greif. When Lexa was having a discussion with a few of her older staff members, either from the kitchen crew or other odd jobs, they were close enough for Clarke to overhear their conversation.

 

“They don’t make ‘em like they used to, huh kiddo? I suppose you were the last of a dying breed. Unlike all those posh generals nowadays you actually fight with us, care about us. It was an honor, Heda.” An older man with misty eyes embraced Lexa and Clarke saw the pride on her face. The way she looked like a small child whose parent just hung their artwork on the fridge.

 

“Please, you know it’s Lexa.”

 

A man Clarke recognized as Titus walked up behind the young commander, a stern look on his face. “Alexandria, how many times do I have to tell you ‘Lexa’ is a child’s name. You are Heda, a leader, show no weakness.”

 

One of the older folks, a woman Clarke thought that had to be at least twice Lexa’s age spoke up, “Oh can it Titus! When the children hear stories of her they’ll know her as ‘Lexa the great’, better than all the rest because unlike you she knew when to hold her tongue!” That got a few laughs and Clarke had to hide a smile when Titus stalked out of the room, presumably to prepare for tonight's impending ‘trade’.  

 

Finally Lexa began walking over to Clarke, who stood in greeting.

 

“Clarke, thank you for-oof,” Lexa was cut off as two small arms wrapped around her waist and a small body slammed into her from behind. Smiling applogictly, Lexa turned a ushered the boy in front of her, kneeling down to look him in the eyes. Clarke recognized the silk blonde hair as Aden’s.

 

“What are you doing here strik won? (little one)” There was concern written all over Lexa’s face, and Clarke was shocked to see how open she looked, without all her walls there was almost no trace of The Commander on Lexa’s face.

 

Aden’s only response was to throw himself at Lexa and wrap his tiny hands so tight around her neck Clarke worried he would choke her. His small frame was racked with a hard sob, “Lex, please don’t go. Make someone else go, don’t hand yourself over to that monster. Please. Please Lex.”

 

The look of sickness that overcame Lexa’s face made Clarke kneel down with the pair.

 

“Aden. Aden look at me,” Lexa tried to pry the boy away from her so she could look him in the eyes. “I’m not going to tell you that everything is going to be alright, and we both know why, almost nothing ever is.” Aden nodded and Clarke’s heart broke at what hardships this poor boy must have already faced. “I’ve taught you how to fight, how to be a strong and kind leader. Protect Charlotte, lead with her. Listen to Anya and honestly for the most part ignore Titus. Made sure you spar with Lincoln and never show weakness in front of Indra. But it is okay to cry Aden, remember that being weak doesn’t make you less but makes you human, never stop being a human. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll lose battles, you’ll win some, but you could never disappoint me. Okay? Never, no matter how bad you mess up, will I ever be disappointed in you. Be brave, be bold, be smart, be human , be wonderful, strik heda. Ai hod yu in (I love you).”

 

“Ai will honor yu, leksa kom triku. Ai hod yu in. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim,” Aden said in a surprising strong voice.

 

“C’mere,” Lexa pulled Aden tightly to her and hugged him until Clarke thought he might snap. “Take care of Clarke for me, okay? She’s special.”

 

“I will.”

 

Aden hugged Lexa one more time before running off, although his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

 

Standing up, Clarke through herself at Lexa, burying her face into her neck. Inhaling her scent, her breath catching when she smelled the salty tang of tears. “Lexa, your shoulders wet.”

 

Clarke felt Lexa’s laugh rumble in her chest, it gave her a warm feeling in her heart, “I’m aware.”

 

Letting herself melt into Lexa’s embrace, Clarke willed herself not to cry, not to add to the wetness of Lexa’s shoulders. It of course didn’t work.

 

“Clarke, I’m sorry-”

 

“No. No don’t apologize. Please don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. I slapped you.”

 

Lexa laughed again and Clarke wanted this moment to last forever, “It didn’t hurt anyway. Someone should teach you a better fighting stance.”

 

Clarke smiled into Lexa’s neck, burying herself further and not daring to think about the intimacy of the moment, “Maybe you’ll have to teach me, Commander.”  

 

Lexa said nothing and Clarke realized why, this was her last moment with Lexa.

 

Her voice overcome with emotions Clarke just barely choked out, “Lexa.”

 

“Shhhh, you’ll be okay.”

 

Clarke noticed how she said “you’ll” and not “it” or “we”.

 

“Lexa, what does Heda mean?”

 

Lexa pulled away to look Clarke in the eyes, “It’s Triku for Commander. Why do you ask?”

 

Clarke shook her head, looking down, “Just wanted to know.” Slender finger gently, ‘ much too gently for a warrior’ , Clarke thought, lifted her chin.

 

“What is it Clarke?” The rawness of Lexa’s eyes, voice, face...it was all to much.

 

“There’s so many things I want to know about you, want to tell you. Like, I love the way you say my name, how you click the ‘K’, I think it’s sweet how you talk to Aden. Just, I wanted to know the little things about you, like if you sing in the shower, or if you like your coffee black.” The wishful, yearning look in Lexa’s eyes let Clarke know she wanted this too. Wanted more time. It was unspoked, but neither needed more time to fall for the other, at least this way there would be plenty of time for Clarke to try and piece herself back together. But those green eyes, those green eyes that could read Clarke like a damn book had taken too much from her. “Lexa, say something to me, anything.”

 

Lexa looked deep into Clarke’s eyes, Clarke felt as though she was piercing her very soul. From this close Clarke could see the nick in her left ear, all the beautiful little hairs of her eyebrows. “Ai wish osir had mo time. Ai'm sorry things had kom end like disha, fou emo even had time kom begin. Gon whatever em's worth, ai hod yu in. Ai hod yu in already en ai won't nou.”

 

And then Lexa was kissing her and Clarke was melting into her touch because the way her hands cupped her face and held her steady at the waist was the best thing Clarke had ever felt and she tasted like a crisp, warm summer night, smelt like fall leaves, or something like that and then Lexa was pulling away and whispering “It’s time” and Clarke was opening her eyes, finally pinpointing what Lexa tasted like-

 

And Lexa was walking out the door and Clarke would never get to tell her she tasted like home.