Chapter 1: 1/2
" Sehun... come dance with me"
Startle, Sehun turns his head around to lock eyes with an obviously drank Kai.
" Where is your girl ?"
He asks, ignoring his friend previous statement. At this Kai whines, throwing his weight on him as he sat beside him on the very small couch; even stealing his bottle of beer from his hand and start drinking it shamelessly.
" She fucking ditched me for her girlfriends, saying that this place is boring"
Well Sehun kind of agree with her, this place is indeed boring. They are now at some party, held in someone's house, Sehun really doesn't know his or her name but when you are a college student you just go to every party regardless of what.
Not hearing any response from him, Kai inches closer; so close for it to be considered as just friendly and Sehun actually tenses when the latter licks his ear playfully.
" Sehunnie, you are ignoring me... why everyone's ignoring me ?"
Sehun looks at Kai in disbelief; Kai, on the other hand, begins pouting. Looking at him with his famous puppy eyes. He takes a deep breathe in, trying really hard not to roll his eyes at his whiny friend.
" You know what! I will leave too, no girl really caught my eyes and I am as well too drunk to handle you right now"
He stands up, not caring about Kai gasping face, who looks really offended right now.
He really isn't in the mood to give a shit, things are just too much and plus, he has a kind of important test next week and he should be studying for it instead of going after his stupid best friend who likes to waste his time doing fucking nothing.
The chilly night outside helps his fuzzy mind. He walks down the street away from the loud music that manages to get out of that big house. Sehun is sure that whoever owns it must be a filthy rich kid, unlike his broken self.
Stopping for a second, he realizes that he came here with Kai; in the latter's motorcycle and now he needs to walk for God knows how long to reach the apartment.
" Fuck... just my luck !"
He sighs and continues walking, hoping that he will find some bus at this late hour because he won't catch a taxi to waste the little money he has now.
After a few more minutes of walking aimlessly, a very familiar sound of a motorcycle reaches his ears and just in matters of seconds Kai is pulling right next to him handing him the helmet wordlessly.
From the moment Sehun took it and set behind the slightly older guy, until the moment they reach their apartment no one for them said a word, the tension heavy between them.
But it seems like Kai is about to change this and it's showed to Sehun from the way the latter closed the door a little bit too loud in the silent night.
" Okay... enough Sehun! Are you mad at me or something? because I remember clearly that you said: I don't have feelings for her"
Sehun doesn't turn around and just continue his walking to his room trying to ignore the latter. Because of course, that's the best what Kai could come up with.
" You are still stupid as ever"
He hissed, softly to himself but Kai being close behind him following his steps heard him.
" What did you just say ?"
Kai grabs him from his elbow turning him to face him. He is still drunk, Sehun can see that but he is as well looking kind of guilty and he knows just exactly what the other is thinking right now. That's why he needs to fix this shit, he doesn't want to lose his friend and he doesn't want Kai to think he hurt him in some way.
" It's just that... you know, it's been a while since I had a nice release"
" Oh! You should've said so from the beginning"
Kai said so and walks away from him to the kitchen. Leaving him confused behind, Sehun couldn't help but to slightly open his mouth because he expected a little bit more than just, well just that. Kai should be making fun of him now, the mood and this tension between them should have disappeared by now, but it doesn't. It's only getting worse now that Kai knows he is horny.
The following week, Sehun spends it trying his best to create some distance between Kai and himself without making the other suspect anything.
He just needs some time alone, away from the other to breathe properly.
Revising for his test went pretty well especially as a distraction and since he is naturally gifted, he thinks that he did well in it.
" I totally failed that shitty test... god why? why are you doing this to me ?"
Baekhyun besides him doesn't seem like he did that well, and that's obvious from the amount of his complains.
" That's not fair, not all of us are that smart. Did she really needed to make it that difficult ?"
" Well, I didn't find it that difficult. You should have from the beginning choose an easy major"
Baekhyun only gave him a glare before going back to groaning like the dying animal he is, and Sehun is already feeling a headache coming his way.
" Oh, between... I just remembered, did that hot friend of yours, Kai was it? anyway, is he finally gay ?"
Sehun shocks on his bubble tea at Baekhyun's words, not believing the nonsense his friend is saying about his best friend.
" The fuck! Why would he be gay Baek? and all of a sudden"
" Well, I don't know? it's just my hopeful mind assumed that after seeing him last week throwing himself on you and being all touchy"
Sehun can feel his cheeks heating up, and he is not sure whether from anger at Baekhyun's clearly stupid assumption or because Baekhyun actually saw them being like that at the party. But at the end of it, he decides to collect himself and act as cool and he always is.
" Baekhyun, I'm gonna give an advice now. If you don't have anything smart to say, so please, shut the hell up !"
The slap Baekhyun left on his shoulder hurts so bad even after minutes and he couldn't help but pout at how mean the short guy is being just because he was trying to be nice and show him how to act civilly.
" Can't a gay man have his hope up once in a while now? and besides, how could you be so indifferent? I only saw your friend shirtless once and since then I'm so ready to go down on my knees to lick those abs and have that cock in my..."
Sehun didn't let the other finish, putting both of his hands to cover his mouth and shut him up. He even wishes if he can shut him up for good.
Even after hours of that conversation, and Sehun threatening Baekhyun that he will never talk to him unless he stops even mentioning Kai; he still is replaying those words in his head and that's not good; not good at all.
" Sehunnie you're home !"
Kai isn't helping him at all, showing up right now fucking shirtless in front of him. Sehun can only imagine how much Baekhyun would be happy if he is here, but him; well he definitely isn't. He will very much appreciate it if Kai starts wearing more clothes.
" Obviously !"
Trying to play cool he answered shortly. Hoping for the other to go back to his room, act like he didn't just saw him and end of the conversation.
" Sehun! Are you ignoring me again ?"
" No !"
It came out too quickly, and Sehun hates how guilty he sounds.
" I mean, why would you think that? it's just that I've been busy... you know the test and all"
Seemingly satisfied, Kai smiles widely as he hugs his waist tightly, resting his chin in his wide shoulder as his naked chest is now flashed again his thankfully clothed back.
" I'm sure you did amazing and no need for me to even ask, my Sehunnie is so smart"
Sehun even though is feeling kind of awkward in this position, not that Kai never did this before because he did, he definitely did. The son of a bitch is clingy and especially when drunk, it gets even worse but Sehun should be used to it by now, and he is. Kind of. And right now he is happy and feeling his pride being well fed at Kai words, so he lets himself relax in the other firm hold.
" So... since you're obviously in a good mood, can I bring Sarah over ?"
" No fucking way !"
His whole mood turns upside down in the second Kai said her name.
Wiggling out of the other arms, Sehun turns around to glare at him showing exactly how against the idea he is.
" I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you two fucking. We already agreed, no girls in here"
" I don't fucking understand you. Why are you being so difficult lately ?"
" Me? I'm being... what the fuck! Is me not agreeing to everything you want makes me difficult ?"
" Oh please, Sehun! let's cut the crap out. Because ever since I've started a serious relationship with Sarah you have been behaving so weirdly, but I fucking asked you, if you have feelings for her tell me and I will stop and what did you say..."
Sehun cuts him off, yelling at him in return.
" I said I don't! because that the truth Kai. I don't feel shit towards her... I just... I just want us to follow the rules"
Kai scoffs, a smile that didn't reach his eyes now is placed on his face.
" Of course! the rules, what else could it be? It's all about following the rules Mr. Perfect"
Kai storms to his own room, locking the door behind him. While Sehun stays standing in the leaving room for a few more minutes looking at nothing in particular before he wakes up from his trance and head as well to his room suddenly feeling exhausted and really angry at Kai.
" Where are you going ?"
Kai is the one ignoring him this time. The other continues fixing his dark brown hair away from his forehead as if he didn't hear him.
" Kai are you... mad at me ?"
The older actually left him and starts walking away from him towards the door already putting his shoes.
Sehun is about to go back to his room, not knowing what he should do when Kai calls his name.
" Wanna go with me to the party ?"
The other is looking at him and it's obvious that he is feeling awkward about the whole situation and Sehun being tired of them acting like this towards each other decided to help a bit.
" Wouldn't it be better if we stayed here instead? Just the two of us"
Putting his hands in his jeans pockets, he shrugged playing it cool, preparing himself if Kai rejected his request.
Kai, on the other hand, opens the door and reward him with a glimpse of that smile of his before yelling his words as he walks out.
" Will buy some drinks then"
Alone in their apartment, Sehun's heart starts squeezing painfully in his chest, a feeling Sehun is getting a lot lately but he is not really sure the reason behind it. Or perhaps he does know, only not wanting to admit it to himself.
A movie is playing as the background noises for them as they are not paying much attention to it. Sehun stretches his hand to put the fourth or maybe the fifth bottle of beer on the ground. Kai is fast to wrap his arms around his waist, pulling his body closer to his own.
" Stay close to me"
Is all that he said before he buries his nose in the crook of his neck. An action he had done so many times that Sehun is used to it by now, but his body still shivers slightly.
Kai might have drunk more than he did and now, as usual, his hands aren't leaving his body to rest in peace.
They are now laying down in Kai's bed, their bodies are touching from the small space between them and Sehun thinks this movie they're seeing sucks but being this close to Kai feels like paradise and he thinks that he might be having some, just a tiny bit of a thing for his best friend.
" Sehunnie, you smell so... so damn good"
" I do ?"
Sehun asks back, his voice so low and if Kai isn't this close he wouldn't have heard him at all.
Kai though didn't say anything in return, instead, he lets his cold fingers wander underneath his t-shirt; tracing aimlessly his flat stomach and with it forcing Sehun to let go of an embarrassing loud moan. Kai is fast to sneak a hand under his sweatpants, palming him through his boxer, slowly and teasingly.
" What.. what are you... doing ?"
Kai looks at him then, inching even closer if possible, pushing the pc away with his foot as his nose nudge his own.
" You are so tensed lately... and I want to help you feel much better"
Sehun blames it on them being drunk or else he would have never let this shit happen, and Kai would never initiate such a thing.
But right now, as the latter's hand slipped past his boxer, stroking his already hard cock so well with those long fingers; Sehun decides that_ fuck it_ Kai is doing a good job for him to stop him and besides the older probably won't remember a thing by tomorrow and neither would he, so now he is just going to enjoy this and how that thumb is paying more attention to the leaking head of his cock.
Kai kissing his neck softly doesn't go unnoticed by him either and his other hand is now touching his ass cheek and teasing his asshole, adding more pleasure to his dizzy mind and needy body.
Kai starts stroking him faster, his hand squeezing his length firmly at the same time a finger slip inside of him making a chocked moan escapes his bitten lips.
" Jongin... fuck- fuck, please !"
He usually calls him Kai, just like everyone does but sometimes it slips his lips and calls the other by his real name; the name only he knows here in campus since he is his oldest friend. And calling the other by his name in such a moment makes everything feels more real, more intimate and so does the sudden kiss Kai gives him as if he himself enjoy hearing his name from his lips and is now rewarding him.
Lips touching for the first time, and Sehun is already holding Kai's face in both hands as he deepens the kiss. Letting his tongue goes inside of Kai's mouth the same way he feels Kai's finger goes in and out of his hole.
Feeling so close already, and being embarrassed at how fast he is about to come; Sehun broke the kiss and with a bit of effort he manages to straddle Kai, who is looking at him in a way he never witnessed before; in a way it makes him feel so hot and sexy about himself.
" Call my name again"
" Jongin... I'm so close, please make me come, Jongin"
It only took a few more minutes, a second finger in his ass and a stronghold around his hard cock; and he is coming all over Kai's shirt as he kisses him deeply while he fucks himself on those fingers as his whole body leans on Kai.
Nobody of them said a word about that night after. Kai only complaining about his thrown Pc and not understanding how that happened, since he apparently doesn't remember a thing about that night. Sehun, on the other hand, to his luck whenever he closes his eyes at night he feels like he is living it all over again. Feel Kai's touch on his body like it's actually happening right now and all over again.
" I'm telling you. He is so hot and tall and sexy and good in bed and he fucked me so well and he is smart and... did I told you he is good in bed ?"
" You already said that Baek, so I'm begging you... shut up now"
The other ignored his last statement and continue talking about this guy he met at that party Kai and he missed last time, only to get dirty in the latter's bedroom.
" I'm going to see him again, probably we will fuck but I'm actually hoping for more this time?... I mean I don't know, but... god he is amazing and I want him so damn bad"
" I'm sure he wants you too"
He said, seeing how his friend starts to whine beside him and he really needs him to shut up for real this time since they're in the library, supposedly revising for their upcoming exams. They didn't do much of it till now since Baekhyun decided it's a good time to open a long one-sided conversation about this guy he met.
" Hey there !"
Startle, Sehun jumps a bit in his chair, turning right away to glare at Kai, who is smiling sheepishly at him.
" Jerk! You scared me"
" My bad !"
The other simply shrugs his shoulder, getting closer to him, leaning down to rest his chin on his shoulder making Sehun tenses and it only got worse when he stretches his arms around him, resting his hands on the table. Caging him in seconds between his arms.
" I'm spending the night out, so I thought I should come and tell you myself"
" Where are you going ?"
Not caring if he sounds demanding and too curious for his own good, all that matters to Sehun right now is to hear the answer, even if he already guessed what it is.
" To Sarah's place"
" Oh, okay !"
The movement behind his back stopped and so does that little touch he was just now feeling in his hair, and Kai is already moving away from him. Sehun is missing him already.
" Okay !"
" What the fuck was that? Are you two fucking ?"
Baekhyun nearly screams at him the moment Kai's disappeared from their sight.
" I've already told you if you don't have anything important to say..."
" You must be fucking kidding me right now! He literally looked at you with hearts eyes and the way you reacted when he got near you and... and he didn't even notice me over here"
Baekhyun kept talking, interrupting him whenever he wants to object.
" I won't believe you if you dare say there is nothing between you two. Damn it, he actually looked disappointed when you only said 'okay !' "
Sighing, Sehun blinks his eyes fast, wanting to stop the tears that gathered in them from falling down. He doesn't even know what's happening to him, why does he feel like crying? and why everything hurts so bad all of a sudden?
" You don't get it, Baek! you just don't... Kai and I, there is nothing between us and nothing will happen between us. But he likes to do this to me, give me all these signs only to..."
Pausing for seconds, Sehun faces Baekhyun who is looking at him with wide eyes waiting for him to finish, but Sehun isn't sure what he is supposed to say more. All that he knows for now is that he wants to hurt Kai as much as the latter is hurting him. He wants this confusion inside of him to disappear and for Kai to leave him alone.
Collecting his stuff hurriedly, he excuses himself and left. Leaving Baekhyun to yell after him, but he didn't care, he just wants to go home.
Finishing his homework, that is due to next week, Sehun can't find anything more to do so he can busy himself.
Kai isn't back yet, he already did say he won't be back at all but Sehun still is waiting for him. His single bed is so cold and big for him, and he misses Kai's smell so bad. Without much control of his body, he went to his best friend room.
" What am I doing? this is so stupid"
He questions himself softly, afraid if he raised his voice this spell that is contorting him will break.
He lays down on his stomach, on the bed that smells so much like Kai. Burying his nose in the pillow, he moans remembering that night.
Slowly he starts thrusting his hips, rubbing his half hard cock on the bedsheets, as Kai's scent envelop him.
Wanting to feel more of the friction, he starts thrusting harder, and faster, his moans are being muffled against the pillow.
The sounds of the main door being open, successfully wake him up from whatever possessed him to do this. Panicked now since he is sure that it's Kai who came, he gets up fast rushing out and in time he made it to his room's door.
" Sehunnie... you are still awake"
Standing still, Sehun isn't sure if turning around and starting a conversation with Kai is a good idea when he is still hard and was seconds before masturbating in the latter's bed while thinking about him.
Kai though seems like he doesn't care about a thing, hugging him from behind and his cold hands sneak under his shirt like they belong there. Sehun being still sensitive, hard and in need to come; didn't resist him at all. Wiggling his ass a bit when he feels Kai slightly rubbing his crotch against it.
Kai whispers right into his ear, so softly and so close to him. One of his hands went down and starts touching his hard cock, causing him to moan yet again.
Another call of his name and then Kai is biting his earlobe, tracing kisses down his neck and up to his jawline.
All of a sudden though, Sehun remember his conversation with Baekhyun at the library; remember saying he wants to hurt Kai. And now this happening, after Kai was probably fucking his girlfriend, only to come home drunk to do this to him makes his so angry, and feeling so used. So without thinking twice about it, he pushes Kai away from him, making the other stumble and fall backward since he is so drunk he couldn't even handle a push.
Opening his door and wanting to just go in and let himself die from how miserable he feels, but he couldn't.
He couldn't walk inside and leave Kai sleeping there on the floor when the other seems like he passed out already.
Struggling to lift the other and guide him to his bed, and trying not to feel ashamed of what he did here; he went after to take a cold shower because he doesn't want to come anymore, he just wants to sleep and forget this night ever happened.
The sound of an upcoming text msg woke him up, reaching with his hand he reads 12:33 am and he can't believe he slept till now. Thankfully he doesn't have any morning classes.
' gonna see my man tonight ;-) '
' just wanted to make sure I let you know I'm getting fucked tonight ;-) ;-)'
The text says, he read it but still feeling too tired to reply. Anyway, he doesn't even know what he should say to Baekhyun in return, probably something that goes with the line of 'happy you're having a dick in your ass when I can't '
So he decides against answering, he is still not that gay to play along with Baekhyun.
Going outside of his room, he is met with complete silence. Seems like Kai is still sleeping, which is a good thing to Sehun.
Heading towards the kitchen, he makes for himself a cup of coffee wanting to feel more awake than this. But once going back to his room, he glances at Kai's door that is still closed and not being able to resist himself, he opens it slowly not wanting to make any sound.
As usual though, and as he knows so well; Kai is a heavy sleeper and the other didn't even stir when he walked all the way in to stand beside his bed.
"God! I feel like such a creep by doing this"
He thought to himself, biting his lower lip while he is looking at the way his friend is sleeping with his legs spread open, his shirt nowhere to be seen and the cover thrown on the floor. Sehun has to resist the urge to sit there on Kai's cock and feel it between his ass cheeks. However, he couldn't resist reaching with his hand that is not holding the cup, to brush a few strands of hair away from the latter's face, before leaving slowly back to his room.
These shitty feelings weren't here before, he isn't that kind of guy who has always been in love with his friend and he isn't till now like this. But somehow, when they start living together after they went to college, things started to get complicated. And no matter how many girls he has been with for the past two years, or how many times he has sex; Kai comes and ruin everything with one long hug of his; with one peck he leaves on his neck or on his cheek; with one lingering touch on his thigh and Kai is doing wonders to his whole body, and leave him feeling so excited all over again.
And now here he is sipping coffee in his own room instead of the kitchen since he is afraid of Kai waking up, and for things to get more awkward between them if Kai ever remembers what happened last night.
Hearing a knock on the front door, Sehun hurriedly runs towards it to open it, not wanting any noise that can possibly wake up Kai, at least not now when his mind is still a mess.
Finding Sarah first thing when he opens the door, he with no shame roll his eyes at here showing clearly how unwelcome she is.
" Well Sehun, I know you're still salty about me dating Kai but can't you at least try to act nice"
He wants so bad to just close the door right in her pretty face, and tell her to fuck off but instead, he tries to control himself as she walks directly in without even hearing it from him to do so.
" I know it's because of you I can't come here to see my own boyfriend"
She continued talking as she walks farther inside, while Sehun following her.
" Anyway, I forgive you Sehun just because you're good looking"
She winked at him in a seductive manner, sitting on the couch while lifting her skirt a bit more to show her thighs.
" Why are you here again ?"
He asks instead, trying to play it cool as if he is not knowing what those moves are for.
" Oh yeah! Kai left his phone at my place... he is not here ?"
She placed the phone on the table there, before patting the place next to her when he answered her with a ' no!'
He isn't sure why he lied, a part of him is telling him he needs to hurt Kai as he has been hurting him without even remembering it and the other one is telling him he is only doing this to see the bitch real face.
He isn't sure which part won by the end when he went and sat beside her, as she spreads her legs a bit wider, inviting him to do more.
And more Sehun did. He leans in and kisses her, as his hand starts to massage her thigh, but all he could think of is the fact that Kai kissed her; Kai touched her and even fucked her. He kissed her like he kissed him and like he touched him, the only difference is that Kai still didn't get the chance to fuck him as well.
With those thoughts in his mind as he keeps making out with her, he feels like going crazy from jealousy but this time he is sure he isn't jealous because Kai got Sarah. No, his blood is boiling because Sarah succeeded in having Kai, and take him away from him.
" Are you fucking with me? it's still too early for this shit"
Hearing Kai annoyed voice, forced him to break the kiss. Sarah beside him completely panicked, standing up and trying to explain to her boyfriend. While Sehun stays still on the couch, not caring at all, and not moving a muscle even when she starts yelling at him to help her explain that nothing happened between them when Kai clearly saw them kissing.
He only takes one glance at Kai when the latter kicked her out and then Sehun knows it's his turn now.
" I've asked you for hundred times before Sehun, and you..."
Sehun wipes his lips with the back of his hand, not wanting to taste that bitch anymore, feeling so disgusted that her saliva is in his mouth. He should probably go and brush his teeth, to be extra clean.
" Are you fucking listening to me ?"
Sehun hearing this bites his lip and this time in shame. He is now kind of sure that he likes his best friend much more than just a best friend but after this, he like hell won't have any chance with him. Not like he had a chance anyway before since Kai is surely straight and so is he; was he.
" You know what? thanks a lot, dude! Bros before hoes, right! You did a good job following this rule"
Sehun didn't dare say a word, afraid and knowing how Kai gets when mad. So it's better if he lets him cool down a bit first and then apologies.
Kai walks away from him, going back to his room after he shakes his head clearly disappointed at him and hurt clear in his eyes that once looked at him with so much adoration.
Chapter 2: 2/2
Hi guys, hope you are all doing great!!!
Sorry for taking so long, but I swear to God I literally changed nearly the whole chapter_ especially the ending_ more than two times because I just couldn't be satisfied with what I wrote completely, so that's why.
Yet, I really hope you guys will like it. I really do wish so.
Do enjoy, and leave your thoughts ^.^
PS. Sorry for any possible mistakes that I didn't notice.
" He isn't even looking at me, and it's been fucking weeks already"
His voice cracked at the end, as he feels tears about to fall from his eyes.
Baekhyun pats his back awkwardly, as he tries to sit comfortably on the couch.
" I'm sure things will be fine, soon !"
" Is that the best you could come up with to make me feel better ?"
Sehun yells at his friend, pushing him hard to fall on the ground.
" Well excuse me, I can't think straight because you just interrupted us in the middle of fucking and this is the best I can do when I'm in need to come"
Baekhyun shouts back at him, making himself comfortable on the floor instead of sitting beside him again.
" To be honest, dude! Your mistake isn't small, you really fucked up and broke the one important rule between bros"
The very tall guy said, sitting beside Sehun while nodding his head, approving to what he just said and Sehun is just left there wondering who the fuck is he?
" Who's this guy again ?"
He voiced out his thought. Because even though he tried his best to ignore this guy who has been walking around, his curiosity got the best of him, since he is sure this is not Junmyeon; Baekhyun's roommate.
" Oh yeah! I forget to introduce you. Sehun this is the guy who has been fucking me before you decided to rudely interrupt us and I already told you about him. And Chanyeol this is my soon to be, gay friend"
Sehun scoffs, not liking the way he has been introduced at all.
" I'm already gay Baek, but only for one person"
Baekhyun gasps, covering his mouth with both of his hands, exaggerating as always in his reaction.
" I knew it! Aah... who wouldn't be gay for that Kai anyway, right ?"
Baekhyun sighs dreamingly, while Chanyeol and he glare at him.
" Anyway, the point here is... that this guy Kai would probably never look at him again to let him confess. That's if you are planning to confess, to begin with !"
Chanyeol, the only voice of logic right now said. Directly questioning him but Sehun honestly isn't sure of what he is supposed to do anymore. He should be the smart one, but here he is at Baekhyun's place asking for advice after he fucked up everything between him and Kai.
" Of course he will !" Baekhyun said loudly, banging the table with his hand, to get their attention. " Now that Sarah is out of the way, Kai is single as a bird. Right now, all you need to do is to convince Kai that the bitch throws herself on you and then, tell him you would love to fill up the space she left by offering your ass to him.... and voilà! problem solved"
Both Sehun and Chanyeol look at the short guy in disbelief. Chanyeol already palming his face in defeat, while Sehun shows him the middle finger as he stands up wanting to leave, seeing how much of a bad idea this was.
" Hey, Sehun wait !"
Chanyeol pulls him by his hand, forcing him to sit down once again and his eyes are now shining with a new glint.
" I have an idea, and from now I'm telling you it's not perfect but from it, you will at least gain him back as your friend"
Before Sehun's mind starts to think if he should accept, or even got the chance to ask about this idea; Baekhyun is jumping up and down like an excited puppy while approving to it.
"What is it then? Your idea I mean" He asked, waiting expectantly to hear the other answer.
"Simple and easy. Apology !"
With the new found determination, Sehun went home and nothing but to apologize in his head, even if he needs to go on his knees and beg. He can't lose the friendship of years because of some girl that he doesn't even have feelings for and his new found feelings for the said best friend.
He came face to face with Kai right at the entrance of the building and all that determination starts to vanish with the glare Kai is sending his way. But he needs to do this since he does care about Kai and he wants his friend back.
" Kai, can we talk ?"
He asked, reaching with his hand to hold Kai's arm to stop him from walking away. However, the other took a step back, far away from his grasp.
" I don't have anything to say to you. So could you please fuck off !"
" But I have a lot to say. Please, hear me out! Just let me say sorry properly to you, let me explain... I'm begging you"
Sehun isn't the type to say sorry even if he is wrong, he is too prideful to do so and Kai knows this, so it should mean something to see him try like this.
He can see a moment of hesitation in Kai's eyes. The latter turning fully to face him, both still standing right next to the entrance.
" Look, I'm barely holding myself from punching you. So it's better if we keep some distance..."
" If punching me will make you feel better then do it. Don't be a coward and do it !"
Kai closed the few inches between them in a blink of an eye. Holding him tight by the collar.
" What Kai? You can't hit your best friend ?"
Sehun saw the anger flash in those eyes, and he knew that it was coming second before.
He stumbles backward on his feet from how hard the punch was. But this is what he wanted, and he isn't even going to fight back since this will make Kai feels better and hopefully turn off that flame of rage inside the other.
He hears Kai softly cursing and he raises his head to look at him. Kai is the one now trying to reach with his hand to touch the already visible wound in his bleeding lip but he hesitates, stopping mid-air only to retreat his hand and leave him there standing alone, shouting after him grabbing the attention of a few people that are already standing there watching them.
" Kai, I'm really sorry... Kai where are you going ?"
Sehun never thought following someone would be this excited and nerve-wracking at the same time. But he has to do it since Kai obviously didn't answer him when he asked him _where are you going?
So here he is sneaking behind his friend and luckily it's dark so the other couldn't see him.
Kai enters a really big house and Sehun questions how his friend always ends up in parties that are being held in such nice places.
Baekhyun calls him just then, demanding to know what he did and where he is. After a few seconds of him trying to figure out where he is and who is the owner of this place, he starts telling the details to the other guy, unsure how correct he is.
" Hmm... so I'm at, I think Jackson's house? no... I'm sure it is his house. You know the guy who is dating that pretty guy from America or something like that?"
He kept rumbling until Baekhyun understands him and told him he will be there in a few minutes.
Those few minutes he kept waiting outside, he starts thinking of a backup plan if following Kai here and apologizing yet another time didn't work out. All he could come up with though is to just follow Baekhyun's shitty idea since right now all he wants is for Kai to forgive him and starts looking at him like he used to again.
Baekhyun arrives, Chanyeol next to him. The short guy, hold him right there and start asking him what happened and didn't let go until he told him everything in details. Chanyeol standing there next to them asking them to hurry up.
Getting inside, Sehun is not surprised at how many people are here, since he knows that guy Jackson is surely friends with everyone on campus.
There are a few faces he recognized, but the one face he came to see tonight is nowhere to be found.
" Where did he go ?"
Baekhyun asks him, or more like yells in his ear over the loud music. Sehun only shrugs in reply because he really doesn't know where the other went to.
Chanyeol after a few seconds leads them to the kitchen, suggesting they should grab a drink first and then look around.
A few drinks after, and perhaps half an hour of them just looking around they finally found him and Sehun felt like his heart stopped beating for a second at the sight in front of him.
Kai is there dancing, letting some guy grind his ass on him seductively and then all of a sudden he is turning around in front of Sehun still watching eyes, to lean in and kiss Kai's lips.
Not being able to watch any more of this shit, Sehun rushes out, pushing away the bodies to make a path for himself out of this place.
" Sehun, wait for us !"
Baekhyun is the first one to reach him outside. Finding him just standing there in the backyard trying to even his breathing and willing himself not to start crying.
" Hey, are you okay ?"
Chanyeol asks him being just a few steps away from Baekhyun but he didn't notice him till he spoke up.
" He was kissing a guy. A fucking guy, not caring about anything while I am trying to fix our friendship and giving up completely on my feelings in return, thinking he will never..."
Baekhyun cuts him off, holding both of his hands in his own in an attempt to calm him down.
" Perhaps he didn't even know he is a guy. He is probably too drunk to think... straight"
" The guy was Jimin though, he surely knows who to pick"
" Do you know him ?"
Baekhyun asks Chanyeol the question Sehun was about to throw at him.
" Yeah! I had a few nights with him and damn Jimin surely is everyone's wildest dream"
" Great, now I surely don't have a chance if Kai starts seeing him"
He mumbles softly to himself but it seems like the others heard him, or perhaps no. But Baekhyun starts hitting Chanyeol anyway, telling him to go fuck that guy instead because he is not going to give him anything anymore.
Sehun slowly retreats himself, walking away without them noticing, but he only manages to walk a few feet before he leans against a near tree after feeling like his legs going to give up on him.
He feels so stupid now, he had so many chances with Kai before, and too many opportunities to confess to him but he had to ruin everything between them before he decided it's time to tell the other what he feels and now Kai is kissing another guy _ after he punched him_ when he is supposed to be with him instead. Because if anyone deserves Kai, then it's him.
" Sehun,... Sehun !"
He lifts his head to be face to face with a worried-looking Baekhyun, who gestures with his head to his left.
" I think you should be watching what's gonna happen instead of daydreaming"
Looking where Baekhyun gestured to him, he starts panicking once seeing a pissed-off looking Kai with that short guy still holding his arm closely as if trying to hold him back, while a tall guy standing with them saying something.
" Oh shit! that's Kris, what the heck is he up to now ?"
Sehun gets up quickly, following Chanyeol as he takes fast steps towards them, surely sensing trouble if he really knows that guy Kris and to be reacting in this way. Sehun gets up quickly, following Chanyeol as he takes fast steps towards them, but still keeping his distance.
" I heard your best friend stabbed you in the back. You found him with your girl in your own apartment, right ?"
Sehun can hear now the guy Chanyeol called Kris saying to Kai, and it's clearly making his friend mad and it's obvious from the way he is clenching his fists tightly.
" Is this why you're suddenly preferring guys now ?"
The tall guy, who Chanyeaol is standing beside him now asked him. Clearly mocking Kai with the tone he is using and that smirk placed on his face.
" Chanyeol, please take Kris away from here"
The short guy said, inching closer to Kai as he said so. Surely he wants to have his alone time with Kai as soon as possible.
Sehun is standing near, watching and listening to their conversation but now he thinks he should interrupt them and take Kai away with him. Still, he is kind of afraid if Kai rejects him in front of everyone there and humiliate him.
" Oh C'mon! we're having a nice chat here. Besides, that friend of yours is an asshole, you should have beaten the shit out of him for what he did or send him to me, I will fuck him till he forgets that bitch of yours"
Everything after happened so fast; in a second Kai was just standing and listening while trying clearly to control himself, and in the next second, he is jumping on that guy. Punching him hard on the face.
" Don't you fucking dare say a word about Sehun, you piece of shit"
Sehun at this point runs towards them, but he is too late since Kris as well punched Kai face pretty hard and then the two are rolling on the ground, looking like they want to end each other.
Chanyeol and Jimin start pulling them away from each other, they both manage to secure their holds on Kris, while he reaches to hold Kai from his waist with both arms, hugging him tightly to stay still.
" Fucking let me go! I will teach him a lesson"
" It's me... it's me, Kai. Let's just go home, please !"
Kai stills in his hold, apparently begin to calm down and without wasting any more time Sehun pulls him away from there, towards the direction of their apartment.
Kai went directly to his room, not saying a word to him but this time he didn't close the door behind him and Sehun thinks it's a really good sign, especially if he as well count the fact that Kai just got into a fight for him. It means that Kai at least still do care about him as a friend_ right ?_
He brings the first aid kit so he can treat Kai injuries. He then went inside and found Kai laying down on his bed, a frown clear on his face as he keeps touching his lip and wiping the blood from it. Sehun cautiously sits beside him, applying some ointment on the latter's lip and going down to put some on his bruised jaw as well, keeping silence as he did so.
Kai is already looking at him when he dared to stare at him into his eyes. So Sehun decides it's now or never if want to talk and explain himself fully.
" I'm really sorry about this. But, you didn't have to defend me... I deserve what he said about me"
" So you agree on letting him fuck you ?"
" What? No, that's not what I meant at all. I will never let him touch me"
Sehun said, not lacking any confidence in his voice since he truly means it. Kai is the only guy he will let him touch his body in that way.
"Sorry for punching you earlier, you just..."
Kai sighs, not being able to finish his talk. But Sehun waits, knowing there is more to be said. And he was right since Kai starts talking after a few minutes of silence.
" I didn't mean to hurt you. You know, I can never hurt you, Sehun"
Discarding everything away from him, after being satisfied with his cleaning skill of the injuries. Sehun scoffs, shaking his head as he laughs bitterly.
" How ironic! You say this now but you did and are doing the exact opposite, you keeping on hurting me with every passing second"
" From what I remember, you're the one I caught making out with my girlf...ex-girlfriend"
Kai said, sitting on the bed more property while letting his feet touch the floor. Now both of them are sitting, not looking at each other but the wall in front of them instead.
" I know, and I'm sorry for doing such a stupid thing, I really am so sorry! But you already made me pay for it by not listening to me and pushing me away, and making me feel I mean shit to you for weeks now all because of her"
" Now that's not true and you fucking know it. I reacted like this not because she cheated on me, no. But because you, the most important person to me did such a thing and that fucking hurt... so damn bad, Sehun"
At this Kai successfully managed to shut him up, making him turn speechless and for the first time, making his tears fall down his flushed cheeks, feeling like the biggest asshole that ever existed.
" I swear, Sehun! if you told me you wanted her... I would have walked away and let you two be. I would have disappeared from your whole life and let you be happy with her"
" You still don't get it..." Sehun said softly, his voice barely a whisper but in the silence of the night, they can even hear each other breathing. So Sehun continues knowing that Kai is hearing him clearly.
" It never was about her, I don't give a fuck about her... and you have no idea how many times I've brushed my teeth after that disgusting kiss"
He unconsciously reaches with his hand and wipes his lips again before continuing and from the corner of his eye, he can see Kai following his movements; eyes staring at him confusedly.
" It always was about you. I was always feeling so jealous of you two, that's true, I admit it. But not because you took her away from me before I got the chance, it's because I was so jealous since she took you away from me before I got the chance to figure out my feelings for you and then... I thought I lost you to her and did what I did just so I can break you two apart"
Sehun shuts up, not knowing what more he should say to express himself and be excused. He has always been awkward with words and telling how he feels and now it's no different, especially saying those things to his best friend.
Said friend isn't saying anything, staying still in his place as if he doesn't believe what he just heard.
" Do you like me Sehun ?" He asks finally, after what felt like hours and Sehun wants to curse him for being so slow to understand.
" I think so !"
" No, no! you can't _think so_ Sehun. Do you like me or no ?"
" I do... I like you a lot and I became sure after those couple of times we... kissed and all that"
He trailed off, not sure if it's a good idea to bring up the whole kiss and making him come thing right now when he just confessed and Kai clearly doesn't remember it.
" Fuck! So that actually happened between us?... and I thought it was just a dream"
Kai keeps on cursing, his hands reaching his hair and messing it up in frustration and till now all Sehun is getting from his friend is negative vibes and the feeling of rejection that is coming his way, that is making him wants to run out of this room which is bringing too many memories for him.
" I will leave you alone now and let..."
" No, wait! I'm so sorry Sehun. I've never meant to lead you on and do those things to you when drunk... fuck Sehun, I did more than just kissing you, right ?"
Kai holds his hand in his own, begging him with his eyes to forgive him, but all Sehun can think about is how their hands look so contrast together. How they're different but at the same time so similar to each other, both feeling now guilty and sorry and Sehun is sure, just like him, Kai wants to fix things between them now as well. He is not in this alone anymore. Kai is trying as well.
" I'm not mad at you Kai, believe me, I wanted that too. For you to touch me and right now all I want is for you to forgive me and for us to start a new beginning"
Sighing in relief, Kai nods in agreement. " Yeah, that would be great! I would want us to go back to what we used to... I really miss you Sehunnie !"
The smile that Kai sends his way, made his heart beats wildly in his chest and from now he already knows that the whole thing of moving on from his feelings towards Kai, going to be so damn difficult. Especially when his friend is being this sweet to him.
The sound of a knock on the door leads them both to look away from each other. Sehun hesitatingly makes a move to go see who is it, but Kai is fast to hold his hand stopping him.
" I still have more to say, so stay !"
" But... the door. I will be right back !"
Sehun pulls his hair hard the moment he is out of Kai's room, feeling so damn frustrated at himself for being a coward. Things shouldn't have gone like this, Kai should have simply said he likes him too and Sehun will lean in to kiss him and by now they should be fucking instead of being separated by whoever decided to show up at this hour.
But what more Kai wants to say? He already said he is sorry and forgive him for the thing he did, he should be satisfied with this. However, Sehun hopes for more; so much more from his friend and he is feeling so desperate right now and scared of what is coming, especially after the way Kai looked at him and asked him to stay before he literally runs out.
Repeatedly loud knockings sound reaches his ears, making him groan and continue walking towards the damn door.
" Why are you here ?"
" What? can't I come to check on you ?"
Baekhyun said, going inside and directly to the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water.
" Yeah, right! As if I'm gonna believe you"
" No, for real now. Where you two fucking or something ?"
Feeling miserable all over again, since Baekhyun just reminded him that he is the reason their conversation turned out short, he rolls his eyes at him cursing him in his head.
" We fixed things out and decided to go back to what we used to and all that. Even after I've confessed to him"
Baekhyun, on the other hand, looks like he is trying to hold back his laugh. Walking away to the living room and sitting beside him, he collected himself.
" Well, at least you're friends again? and... he is okay with you liking him, am I right? Did anything more happened ?"
Sehun nods, not sure if he should be happy that he is at least still with Kai and back to normal with him, or if he should be crying right now because he technically still doesn't know if he got rejected and friend zoned or not because of certain someone who showed up at the wrong time.
" I don't know how to feel anymore, to be honest !"
" Give it some time and things..."
Baekhyun freezes mid-sentence, shutting his mouth as he looks at something behind him.
Once Sehun turns around, his eyes fell on Kai who is standing there looking impatient.
" I thought I heard noises. Look like we have a guest... at this hour"
Kai said, and instead of heading to his room, he takes a few steps towards them. Openly scowling at Baekhyun.
" What are you two talking about ?"
He for some reasons is curious and it's clean in the way his eyes are shining in a way Sehun can read it and understand it. Baekhyun who is still sitting beside him is looking like he will drool at the sight of Kai any second now.
Feeling irritated because his friend is obviously checking out his Kai, Sehun decides to draw an end to this.
" Kai, why don't you go back to your room. We will finish our talk later if you want"
He said, already standing up from his place and heading towards Kai to give him a light push, which was a huge mistake since his hand now is making contact with Kai's chest and to his embarrassment, he pulls his hand so quickly, showing how affected he is. And Kai, of course, noticed it, from the way he raised his eyebrow with a smirk on his lips.
" Are you saying something private, that I shouldn't be listening to ?"
Kai asked, however, he isn't asking him. His eyes are clearly looking at Baekhyun over there; who quickly said no since he definitely wants him to stay.
" If that's the case then, I will borrow him for a little while"
Before Sehun could say anything about it, Kai is already pushing him towards his room; closing it behind when they're both in.
" Is there something wrong ?"
" You are taking forever with that friend of yours. Did you forget I was waiting for you or what ?"
" No... it's just tha...that-" Sehun stutters feeling nervous at being alone with Kai again. Needing to push the whole subject for at least few days, until his heart calms down a little.
"Sehun, look... since you were brave enough to tell me you like me-" Kai said, interrupting his stuttering going straight to the point. "-I think it's only fair if I tell you how I feel as well"
His heart starts to beat so fast as Kai took a few steps towards him. He with each step wishes the other will tell him he likes him too and just end his misery.
" I think you already figured it out from the things we did, even if I was drunk but I find you so damn hot, and not in a friendly way... more in _I want to fuck you_ hot and I might start dating Sarah because I felt threatened by her"
Sehun bites his lip as Kai inches closer to him. He is literally only a breath away. Sehun can just pout his lips and he will be able to touch Kai's own. However, he is trying to collect himself and resists the _not so new_ urge so hard to not to lean in and to keep staring straight into Kai's eyes.
He doesn't believe what Kai is saying, this just can't be true. Because if it is indeed as he is saying then that means that both of them were so dumb and just wasted so much time when they could have just said so to one another a long time ago. But, then again, Sehun only figured his feelings lately, and Kai said he finds him hot and want to fuck him. Yet, he said nothing about liking him or anything about his feelings.
A wave of courage invades his whole body. Sehun even though not understanding what got into him, with the way his whole body felt on fire; a sudden desire he said what he wanted at the moment.
" I wouldn't say no if you want to fuck me, Kai"
His friend looks kind of taken back with how blunt he is being but Sehun, on the other hand, is simply tired of pinning over the other and he thinks he had enough. He just wants Kai to do whatever he wants to his body even if there are no feelings involved from his side.
Both of them totally forget about Baekhyun still waiting outside. Both of them, too drive by their lust to care about anything but to touch the other.
Kai is fast to dive in, devouring his lips and Sehun literally melts into the open mouth kiss. Shamelessly moaning loud into it, showing the other clearly how much he wants all of this.
Kai seemingly satisfied, pushes him again the wall pretty hard. His hand going from touching his back to holding his ass firmly as he keeps on squeezing it.
" Fuck... I've always wanted to have you like this, Sehunnie"
Sehun shudders hearing the other admits this yet again and seeing the way he is looking at him just like that night, making him feel so wanted and hot.
Kai leans in again, kissing his neck and biting his collarbone definitely leaving marks there. Sehun wanting more, as he keeps on bucking his hips so that his crotch will make contact with Kai's own, wanting to feel some friction so desperately as he circles his arms around Kai's neck, bringing him even closer if possible. He definitely doesn't want this moment to end yet.
" I think you guys are fucking...I know my way out no need to show me, just get going. Enjoy !"
They paused for a few seconds, hearing Baekhyun yells at them from outside. Sehun kept staring at Kai until they heard the front door closes.
The other takes a step away from him then, looking as if he changed his mind about the whole thing.
" I really don't want to rush things out but... what are we now exactly ?"
Kai askes him after a few minutes of heavy silence, looking at him curiously with a hint of hesitation in his voice and Sehun feels so scared all over again of losing him completely. But he did kiss him just now so that cant be.
" What do you us to be? I will go with whatever you want"
" Well, I thought you would want more than just friends... you know, after the whole confession thing"
Kai pulls him close again and a wave of relief washed through him at that little action; a smile stretches on his now flushed cheeks.
" Would you accept to be my boyfriend then? I really want things to work out between us"
" Hmm, do I get a few days to think about it ?"
Kai replies teasingly but with a clear hint of nervousness; chuckling slightly but still looking serious when asking that. Sehun, on the other hand, doesn't really know how he should be replying to this since he honestly feels a bit down after hearing that.
" I mean, I wouldn't mind giving you a chance and try being your boyfriend, on the contrary, I want that too. But... let's take it slow"
Kai said fast, wanting him to understand everything before he judges wrongly what he first said and get upset.
And Sehun now satisfied, and understanding Kai's point; leans in wanting so bad to get the chance to kiss Kai again. But to his surprise, the latter turns his head away from him, letting go of his hand as he walks away from him completely.
" No kisses for now since my lips hurt me. You know, I got in that fight because of you in the first place so you can wait a few days till I feel better"
" Are you serious right now? You were just now eating my face out"
Kai, at that, only takes yet another step away from him, creating some distance between them.
Sehun standing like a statue in front of the other not believing this is actually happening to him; didn't notice the way he is trying to hold back his laugh. All that he can think about that he yes, indeed approve to take things slow but not this... slow. They already did so much to act innocent right now anyway.
" Yah... you jerk! I take it back, I don't want you to be my boyfriend anymore. I'm not going to wait for..."
Kai pulls him near before he even manages to finish his sentence. Crushing his body against his own and by it closing all the previous distance.
" I was only kidding, you horny pig. But one thing I can tell from now; is that I got myself a very needy boyfriend"
He said, and not even giving him the chance to reply; he dives in kissing him this time deeply with his tongue going all the way inside his mouth, making him moan into the open mouth kiss, already thinking of all the position he wants to try with Kai, not just in bed but in every possible place in their apartment and he will show Kai how needy he actually is.