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Maybe I'm not the one who lost the most.

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Drizella took a deep breath.

 

Now, here she was.

 

It was the moment where she would finally see her sister again.

 

She was not sure she was really ready for this.

 

§§§§

 

You begin to walk into the hall and you can't help but think that it's a bad idea.

 

You don't want to see her again.

 

For Anastasia is the one you learned to hate as years passed, as your mother stopped paying attention to you, stopped loving you, it's because of her that you began to believe that you didn't worth it, and…

 

And she is your sister.

 

The one who always looked after you when you were both children, and when you were lost, when you mother was gone and when you didn't know what to do about it.

 

She loved you as much as a sister could love her sister, and unlike your mother, she never hurt you, never betrayed you, never destroyed you.

 

And she still loves you, because she is your sister, your family, and this is what the members of a family do, well are supposed to do – to think about your mother's indifference still hurts you. You wish you could feel nothing about it. You wish you were able not to care – that is to say, care about each other.

 

She loves you, and you know it, for she doesn't know anymore who you are, who you became, and that's maybe for the best for you, since you're going to use it against her.

 

You're going to betray you big – no, little now, compared to you, she is just so little. Just a child. Nothing else – sister, and there is a part of you who doesn't want to do this, but you reject this one the most far away from you that you can.

 

There is a voice in your head, looking much like Regina's, and you hate her at this moment, you hate her for being able to still have such influence on you, after all these years, after your break-up, after the pain, the rage, the betrayal.

 

After what happened, what was broken, what you broke.

 

You don't listen to her.

 

You stopped doing this many years ago.

 

§§§§

 

The plan is simple.

 

To get to Anastasia, and take her powers, just as she took everything from you, everything you ever had, your mother's love, and all these other things.

 

The plan wouldn't be so damn simple, if Ana was not such an innocent, naive, foolish girl.

 

But she is more than that.

 

She is one of the better people you ever knew, she is a brave girl, she is pure of heart, she is kind, and…

 

(And she is your sister, and now, you're the monster of the story.)

 

She is here .

 

Anastasia is there, in front of you, not being different, as if nothing ever changed except you, and she is frowning at you.

 

Drizella ? She asked you, rapidly recognizing you, as if you never changed. And for some seconds, your breath just stops. Is that… you ?”

 

She hesitates, as if she was not believing her own eyes, as if she was realizing that something was wrong, and the part of you which still loved her so much just wanted to tell her to run and escape the monster in front of her.

 

The monster being you , but she doesn't know it yet.

 

But she will.

 

There is something in your eyes, a light, that Ana doesn't recognize.

 

What is it exactly ?

 

You don't even know it yourself.

 

Guilt ?

 

Sadness ?

 

Love ?

 

Hope ?

 

It doesn't matter.

 

You will take everything from her, and send her to Gothel.

 

That's it.

 

I know, I grew up, you tell Anastasia. I promise, it's me.”

 

And at the same time, it's not me anymore , you almost add.

 

I changed too much these last years.

 

You shouldn't trust me .

 

I grew up” You tell Anastasia.

 

“I turned bad”, you also think.

 

And, as you look at your sister, it's difficult for you to remember the reason why you hate her so much.

 

Because, after all, you weren't the only person who lost a lot of things through the years.

 

Even if she doesn't know it, she did.

 

F irst, she lost her father, as you did.

 

She has no idea that Marcus is dead, after all.

 

And you don't tell her, you don't want to hurt her too much.

 

Maybe that, in a very much twisted way, you still want to preserve her, despite what you think is hatred that you feel toward her, because after all she is a just a freaking child who doesn't deserve you to hurt her.

 

She lost her mother to darkness, and you will it so your mother will never get her back, more because you want to hurt her than because you want to hurt Ana.

 

But she will get hurt in the process, of course.

 

And finally, she lost you.

 

She lost everything, just as you, and, at this moment, you realize you're not the only victim in this story.

 

Your anger against her stops you from thinking about it, and you decide it's time to destroy her.

 

§§§§

 

You're a bloody idiot.

 

Gothel betrayed you, made you fall, and you should have seen it coming, right ?

 

Your mother dies for you, and it's certainly something you never saw coming.

 

She loved you.

 

In a wrong way, but she did, in the end.

 

Now, you hate Gothel, you hate yourself for what you did, and you ask both Ana and Regina for forgiveness.

 

You know it will not end well.

 

Now, it's time to fix your mistakes, and go and save Ana from the bloody witch who took everything from you.

 

The witch you believed in and just let you on the ground.

 

All of this is your fault, as well as hers.

 

§§§§

 

Ana is there, ready to kill you, hatred, rage and incomprehension in her eyes, and hell, you think that you clearly deserve it.

 

There are so much things you want to tell her, that you're sorry, that Gothel manipulated you, and you know that it's just half-true, since you decided to do this by yourself.

 

You want to tell her about the rage, the hatred, the darkness, that invaded you after you realized that Mother just wanted to see you dead, for her, you want to tell her that nothing was her fault.

 

But Gothel's.

 

You want to tell for Regina, for the good moments between the two of you, for the love, for the light, for everything good the witch brought to you, you want to tell her how you betrayed her, what you did to Henry, and how much you regret it.

 

You want tell her about Gretel, about what happened, about this friendship which could have been true and real, but which never happened because of Gothel.

 

You want to tell her what kind of monster you are, and you want to apologize for what she lost.

 

You both lost so much things, maybe it's the time to stop it.

 

She is stronger than you, you realize, when she decides not to end your life, and when you hug her in your arms, it feels like coming home, finally.

 

You just hope that her and Regina will be able to forgive you.