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Forgive my sins

Chapter Text

Well, yes, he surely thought about this outcome, that he will hit something that will remind him about freckled face and green curls, even after one of the biggest catastrophe that hit the area.

He wouldn’t thought that after nine years after the incident, after nine fucking years, for the first time he is hit by the same name he won’t be ever able to forget.

‘ Izuku’ is not the most common name in Japan, but still, why the hell he hadn’t met anyone with this name until now?!

Why now?!

His hands were trembling on the paper he was given, he felt his legs dumb as he remembered how an ambulance and police cars were passing by him in that evening, everyone thought that it’s a simple villain attack, maybe that sludge villain escaped.

Oh god, how fucking lucky he was that he went right home that evening. To find the house empty and the only explanation was a message found in his phone after he went to his room.

How he should feel now, reading that name again:”…” does he even have the right to say it?

He had said it for who know how much time before. Once he had to read’ useless’ he said’ Izuku’ other time, he had to write the word’ useless’ he wrote’ Izuku’ and this lasted for some time, now it’s the same.

But now… now he is supposed to read that name, not the word’ useless’ he is supposed to read’ Izuku’

He tries once again:

”…”

Nothing comes out.

His mouth is open, but there are no words, not even a sound. He gulps, after that, he opens his mouth again. His Adam’s apple is moving, but he can’t bring himself to articulate words, all he can do are strange sounds that resemble a wild and strange animal’s.

Meanwhile, in his head was playing a scene from his middle school, the same emerald eyes that are haunting him every winter and spring, when the anniversary comes.
A scene where the freckled boy is hiding behind his hands wide open in front of him, trying to protect himself. Of course it wasn’t enough, the bastard who he was yanked him by the collar, ready to throw a punch or an explosion. And this part of memory is what makes him shiver, when those eyes were looking straight at him, scared, full of tears, pleading him to stop, to let him go, not to hurt him again. Of fucking course that the bastard ignored them and did what he did the best in that time, hit without thinking.

Well, surely why would he even have the right to call him by his given name?

More than a decade he called him’ Deku’; ’ useless’ because he was quirkless. How did he even get like that, whose fault it was? If both his parents have a quirk, then how he didn’t got any? It was his fault his mother’s or nature’s fault? He was bullied, beaten up, insulted and humiliated because of a nature’s stupid choice, to let a person without a fucking quirk.

‘ We all know that it wasn’t nature’s mistake’

There still was a voice inside of his head telling this.

If it wasn’t he, if this stupid explode boy wouldn’t have had his fucking superiority complex then maybe there would have been another time.

It should have been different, that day he wouldn’t have been attacked by the villain, he wouldn’t have been send to the hospital for no reason, he was fine, he even told that to his parents and demand them not to come. And, of course, wouldn’t have come to an empty house, his parents gone hell knows where and the only explanation being this shit:

’ Sorry brat, Inko got caught in some major trouble and I need to be beside her, your dad will be home quick if he’s not there already.
Mom’

His heart skipped a bit when he read Deku’s mom name.’ What if something happened to her?’ it was the first thing that crossed his mind.

He hadn’t thought a minute or a second about the real deal. He should have thought about what he told to him that day or better, he should have thought about this outcome when he gave him the idea, the way he might get a quirk.

Just thinking about that night, he can feel again what he felt when his father told him what happened. His kneels faded, he found himself kneeling in the middle of the room, thinking about the day, about what will be from now on, how he may not see the green bush again in the classroom or on the way home, in the store.

He looked again at the name on the paper, is a name full of history, emotion, how can he read it now? Fully aware of what the name means to him and what it weights.

He was involuntary seeing and hearing’ Izuku’ when it comes to words that resemble to it, but now... Now how can he read low the same name of the ghost that lies in his head, in his nightmares, in his dreams? It’s not unusual for him to lay there, trying to sleep or to pay attention and he sees him.

Right now, he is thinking about him, but not in the good way he is thinking when he is about to fall asleep. He remembers the worse out of him, covered in wounds and burns made by him, his face covered in tears that he brought, after he tear or blow up something that is his. How is he supposed to read the name with this image inside of this brain? Does he even deserve to read it?

He deserves to suffer, to use it involuntary, to remember every moment in his life that he destroyed a life, or more, just Inko knows what she had to endure in her lonely time before her’ incident’ too.

Well, the freckled face would love if his name would have something to do with hero work and heroism, maybe even if he is a victim, so, maybe the bastard is ready to voluntary say it, thinking that the freckled face that is haunting his insides will like if that brat would do his job.

So, that’s what he is doing. With this premise in his head, he starts it. Taking a deep breath, he is ready to do it. Maybe... One more breath, one and he’ll say it.

After the nth breath, he finally sayd it:

“Izuku...”

The weight he felt after he said it is fast dissipated by a high-pitched and grating voice

“You took so long and still... You fucking got it wrong!”

He was ready to throw a punch at the newcomer, but when he raised his eyes from the paper, he saw nothing. Nothing in his right side, in his left too, even behind him, nothing.

“Well, mister hero extremely clever, down there!”

He looked down.

 

Ow fuck.

How much he wished he never did it.

Right there, in front of him was standing his biggest mistake ever. The only difference is that this one is smaller with bigger emerald eyes and a sharp glare along with dirty chubby freckled checks.

Bakugou looked at him from the bottom to the top and from top to the bottom, almost no difference.

Before he could proceed what is happening, he loosed it, he felt in his butt, still staring at the kid in front of him that resembles way too much with a certain green haired he knew. He was in pure shock, his mind was blank, his legs were spaghetti and his lungs were in vacancy with his eyelids.

Taking all his might, he gulped, and tried to reach the kid while he tried to say his name:

“I-Izuku...?!”

The kid kicked a rock that was threw there by the explosion and raised his arms above his head trying to make known his discomfort.

“I already told you that’s not my name! Look closer, my name is Deku!”

It felt like the world felt above him.

His knees were betraying him as the next thing he knew was the impact of his ass meeting the ground.

Still in shock, he keeps staring at the kid and muttering:” Deku?! Fucking Deku?!”

“ Yeah, yeah, fucking Deku, I’m Midorima Deku.”

How lucky he can be.

It’s almost the same, Midorima Deku and Midoriya Izuku, same thing can be said about the face too, the same freckled checks, same emerald eyes and curly green hair. Still, this little boy lacks something, something that the blonde bastard can’t forget: the childish big smile that can light a room and the looks of pure admiration or determination in his eyes wherever he saw a hero. This kid was lacking them, he wasn’t wearing the same big smile, he was wearing a mocking grin instead, and instead of the admiration eyes, his eyebrows were furrowed above his eyes.

This can’t be Izuku, it’s impossible to see that pure angelic face wearing that expression. Still, somehow its better that he is wearing that expression of mockery and not a scared one, or worse, that expression of peacefulness his mother was talking about after the day the green bush was buried.

But still... a mocking expression on a face that resembles Izuku Midoriya’s is not something to what you can turn a blind eye.

And this boy that’s standing right there surely as fuck can’t be Izuku Midoriya. Not when all he did in those minutes was to say how stupid Bakugou is and to stare at him like he is sure that the hero will do something stupid again and he’ll be able to laugh his ass off.

Of fucking course that this kid is not the ghost inside of Katsuki, he should know, Izuku is dead and nothing can bring deaths back.
He got up, ready to snap the smug off of the kid’s face, but he retained himself, instead he said:

“ Who would name their kid’ Deku’?!” this should be a sick joke of a villain, someone who heard about the’ Izuku incident’ and now is trying to make fun of him or to fool him.

“That’s exactly what I’m wondering every day!”

Surely as fuck, this should be a joke, no, he needs to get off right now before he gets crazy and do something crazy. He brushed past the kid, not throwing even a glare at him, of course, if he looks at him, then his body and mind may freeze again.

“ Hey! Where the hell are you going?! Stupid, you should help me! You’re a hero! You’re letting everyone to die like that?! You want me dead?”

When he heard the last sentence, he really snapped, remembering what happened in the day the green curls made that decision, what he, someone aiming to become a hero, told to someone who had the same wish but it was incapable to do so.

He turned to the kid, a devilish smirk on his face as he started to walk to approach the kid and kick some mind in his brains.

“ What did you said? Let me help you with that immature and insolent mind of yours”

“ So that’s the way you’re going?” said kid raised his right arm with his middle finger raised straight to the sky.” Stupid hero, I hope you’ll get your licence suspended for beating a kid!”

He prepared his little fist to give a hit then he ran to the hero, ready to punch him.

‘ It’s a kid, what strength to have a kid’ thought Bakugou when he saw the kid aiming to hit him, what he didn’t was the thought of a huge pain going through his body from between his legs. The pain he felt between his legs was too much it felt worse than when he got beaten up in highschool, he had to cover the poor area with his hands and to lie on the ground.

“ The fuck you kid! What the fucking fuck! Go to hell you motherfucker! I’ll rip your tiny dick when I’ll see you again! Fuck fucking fuckery! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! You’d better hope your dick will fall before I’ll see you again! Or that we won’t see each other again in this life, you scum! Go to hell! Go to hell! Fuck yourself! Gosh, die! Fuck you and your mother! Fuck the...”

The kid proceeded running while Katsuki was still yelling threats and swears to him and his mother and father.

Chapter Text

Of course he was angry, he was ready to punch that kid and tear his limbs one by one for what he did to him. He wasn’t feeling even the tiniest bit of guilt for thinking about doing that to someone that has the same face as the ghost that’s haunting his dreams, oh no, he’s not able to feel his chock even after almost one fucking week! The first day he was pressing a bag of ice on it and didn’t even eat because of the pain, like… What the fuck is that kid’s quirk?! Killing groins with one punch?! Is this an alternative quirk for One Punch Man’s? How in the world is that man so strong by the way.

One week after the meeting of the little devil that looks like a former angel. A former angel that he shamelessly killed after he also broke his wings and tear them off afterwards.

Is he still an angel? Did he went to Heaven or Hell? Well, usually, if you choose to kill yourself, you’d be sent straight to Hell.

At least they’ll meet again in Hell. There’s no way for him to reach Heaven, not after killing someone.
What if he is in Heaven though, what if, after all those years of pain and hurt, after he couldn’t bear any of Katsuki’s shit and killed himself, God decided that it’s too much and allowed him to spend his eternity in Heaven. Let’s be serious, he deserve some happiness, after his dream was shattered when he was young, being bullied senseless by one of his dearest friends, probably best friend, he never saw Izuku to spend so much time with any kid back then, or to follow them around and to listen to them or do as they want. He was amazed by Katsuki, he was worshiping the ground where he walked, or the stuff he left behind.

The human bomb poured himself a cup of coffee and prepared himself for a new day, an off day. Finally, those bastards can get their shit together and deal with the villains for one day, without calling the Number One Pro Hero.

Being his free day he allowed him more time with his bed in the morning, getting up at eleven something and lazily making some coffee and frying some eggs he found in his fridge and some toast.

While he was eating his breakfast he thought about what to do today.

He hardly has any days off, with the League of Villains getting bigger and bigger, being more powerful. After that half and half bastard turned against his father and went after his brother in the League, it’s getting harder for heroes. A lot of people agreed on this fact: Todoroki Shoto has such a great quirk, he could’ve been Number One. But it seems that his daddy issues and depression got over him, he spit in front of his father and almost burnt the house before he left with his brother.

“I can watch some Netflix, I have it for some months but I’ve only saw one movie once. “

Truth being said, he’d rather spend the day in his bed, but after meeting that kid, the green bush is in front of him every time he closes his eyes, so he’d better stay awake than starting to feel anxious again without a reason.

A knock was heard in the moment he put his dishes in the sink.

“Who the hell comes to visit me at twelve fucking daytime?” the blonde explosion said while going to the main entrance, without any thoughts about putting on a pair of pants at least, the fact that he has to deal with people on his day off pissed him enough that he got to open the door in nothing but a pair of boxers.

On the other side of the door was one of his old acquaintances, her cheeks as pink as always, her long brown hair left unkempt and a warm smile present on her face.

“Hi, Katsuki, how are you? “ She said in a warm tone.

“As good as without you here, Pink Cheeks “ said in his monotone angry voice.

His feeling for the girl may have passed but he kept the nickname.

“Same Katsuki. “ She lowered her glance “I actually came here with a request… “

The brunette moved a bit and revealed the little One―Punch―Destroy―Groins. Little fucker was hiding behind Uraraka all time, hugging her leg and looking at Katsuki with a scared expression on his face.

“What’s with this fucker here? “

“Hee, Katsuki, don’t talk like this around a kid! “ she covered the ears hidden under green locks.

“You don’t know him as I do… “ he made a pause “Fucker called me shitty hero! “

“I did not! I called you’ Stupid hero’ it’s a difference! “

“You were still thinking that I’m a shitty hero! “

“You said it, not me “

Uraraka took Deku up and kept him in her arms, against her chest.

“You see, Katsuki, his parents died in the last week’s attack and other kid’s, also with the latest attacks and the buildings destroyed, the govern had nothing else to do than lower our funds, so… the company doesn’t have money to put him in an orphanage or to a family… So… The company is trying to get houses for the kids, you know, and boss said it’s better for them to let them to stay with pro heroes and in workdays they can stay at the company. “

“Fuck Four Eyes and his ideas, just who made him boss?! “

“Katsuki! “ the brunette was angry.

“Please. Take care of Deku-kun! “

Said kid was looking with such fear at Katsuki while he was hugging Uraraka and praying she’ll never leave him with this explodo-brute.

Katsuki, on the other half, was thinking.

If she leaves the kid with him it means that he can get the most wanted revenge for his abused dick, but that means dealing with a kid, he can’t kill the kid, revenge is revenge, but he is not prepared to kill a kid, his conscience would kill him, one death is already enough for him. And besides that, he’ll have to stay with someone that looks just like Izuku, someone to constantly remember him about his mistakes from when he was younger.

No revenge is worthy of this.

“Never, Pink Cheeks “

Deku exhaled a breath he didn’t knew he took.

“What?! Katsuki, look at him, he is just a lonely kid, take him, please. “

“Why don’t you take him if you like him so much? “

“I can’t, I already took one. “

“Shit! That’s just Four Eyes dealing with the company’s money! No good! “

“Katsuki! “ She stepped once on the surface of the frame and it was enough to make Bakugou feel threatened by a marshmallow. “You are going to take this kid and take care of him, you understand? “

“Yes. “ he said, pushing her off the door’s frame and slamming the door before locking it.

“Bakugou Katsuki! “ the marshmallow was yelling on the other side.

“I don’t want to take care of a kid! “ the bomb kept yelling on the other side.

“You’ll get more days off and more money. “

“Tempting, but I’m not you to accept everything for money! “

“Bakugou! I’ll go to your parents and ask them to take care of the kid then! “

That made the man’s blood to get cold.

Of course he didn’t want his parents to find out about this kid, they’ll say only about how it looks just like Izuku, eventually they would even start crying.

But the marshmallow can’t just go there and ask them to take care of this kid, can she?

Not going to risk it, he opened the door, just to be greeted by a kid roughly pushed into his arms.

“I’m so glad you agreed on this. “ she said smiling while putting a bag with clothes in the human bomb’s hands.

 

After closing the door, when Ochako was far enough, Katsuki can’t think about something else but the good part in this shit he was threw onto: Justice for his heirs.

He turned to the scared kid with a crazily big smile on his face, rage coming out of his skin while he was approaching the place where Deku was hiding.