Actions

Work Header

We need some group chats in here. (No, we don't)

Chapter Text

Wednesday 9th March 2039 - 15:47

ConnorRK800 created a group chat

ConnorRK800 added HankAnderson, GavinReed and NinesRK900

ConnorRK800 named the chat A&HDPD

 

ConnorRK800: Good evening everyone! I have created this group chat in hopes that our working relationships could progress and to help one another with cases. : )

GavinReed: no

 

GavinReed left the group chat

NinesRK900 added GavinReed

GavinReed left the group chat

NinesRK900 added GavinReed

 

NinesRK900: Detective.

GavinReed: LET ME LEAVE

NinesRK900: No, you’re staying.

GavinReed: phcking

GavinReed: FINE

HankAnderson: whipped

GavinReed: asdfssfsa says YOU

HankAnderson: try me bitch???

ConnorRK900: As I SAID. This group chat is to help one another and : ) become : ) friends. : )

GavinReed: me??? friends with yall plastic asses??? Not As Likely As You Think

HankAnderson: gavin??? a piece of shit who has to get his priorities right and TRY at least? It’s More Likely Than You Think

GavinReed: phck off

HankAnderson: fuck off Igeneration

GavinReed: d i s g u s t i n g

NinesRK900: (Connor, you can’t have a millenial and a Gen-Zer together in a group chat and not expect chaos.)

ConnorRK800: (I… haven’t taken that into consideration.)

GavinReed: u absolute fucking fool now s uffer

HankAnderson: shut the fuck up??? u snowflake???

GavinReed: you phcking tAKE THAT BACK

HankAnderson: Again, try me bitch

NinesRK900: OK ladies... I think it’s time to calm down.

HankAnderson: no?

GavinReed: No

NinesRK900: Then perish. : )c

 

Wednesday 9th March 2039 - 21:03

Private Chat between GavvaTape and HankiePooh

GavvaTape: guess what time of the fucking week it is

HankiePooh: after-therapy bro-meeting bullshit?

GavvaTape: u guessed it

GavvaTape: Boi u wont fucking guess what my dipshit of a brother gave me as an advice today

HankiePooh: well i dont think i want to know

GavvaTape: well i dont care

HankiePooh: thought so

GavvaTape: so like me and dipshit kamski were having tea(yes we drink it u should too) after my therapy session

GavvaTape: (since u know,,, I do that unlike u, u phcking fool)

HankiePooh: (yeah not gonna happen bitch)

HankiePooh: (nor tea nor therapy)

GavvaTape: and I was like ‘yeah we were talking about like suicidal thoughts and intrusive u kno’

GavvaTape: and like the idiot he was he said

GavvaTape: ‘Each time u think one of those thoughts just take a shot of any alcohol! You won’t even be able to think straight at one point!’

GavvaTape: and i was like?? Bitch???

HankiePooh: wait wait wait was that a fucking joke?? Or for real??

HankiePooh: i dont even know w ur brother

GavvaTape: like I do???

GavvaTape: i just gave him a wtf face and we talked abt smth else

GavvaTape: now im just worried for him tbh

HankiePooh: :////

 

Thursday 10th March 2039 - 10:29 am

Private Chat between Connfused and ItsHank

Connfused: Lieutenant, I was wondering if you can send me the files for our current case

ItsHank: sure, but to be sure u mean the android-human couple one right?

ItsHank: and dont u have them already???

Connfused: Yes, but I would also like your notes that you have made for the case.

ItsHank: u couldve jsut asked btw

ItsHank: also where are u

Connfused: I have seen that your blood sugar level was lower than usual so I’ve decided to go to O’Malleys and buy you some.

ItsHank: … thanks i guess

ItsHank: thoughtful of u

Connfused: : )

ItsHank: here

FileSent- “A/H Couple 9th March 2039 - 19:37”

Connfused: Thank you, Lieutenant.

ItsHank: goddammit just call me Hank

Connfused: If you’re going to let me use your last name as my own. : )

ItsHank: hm sorry i cant read anymore

 

Thursday 10th March - 15:52

Private Chat between HankiePooh and GavvaTape

HankiePooh: u up for a drink this weekend??

GavvaTape: y would u think that I would do that

HankiePooh: bc both of us need to let our frustrations out abt them ™

HankiePooh: and bc ur only other friend isnt available from what i remember

GavvaTape: yea u rite

HankiePooh: Jimmy’s Bar at 9pm tomorrow?

GavvaTape: got it

 

Thursday 10th March - 16:21

Group Chat ‘A&HDPD’

ConnorRK800: Have you two gotten the files that we sent?

NinesRK900: Yes, and we kinda came to a worrying conclusion about these murders.

HankAnderson: serial killer?

GavinReed: I mean its pretty fucking obvious

GavinReed: all the corpses were found pretty much in the same area, they are all couples that are made of an android and human(and gender doesn’t seem to matter)

NinesRK900: And the corpses seem to have the same patterns of injury and attributes.

NinesRK900: So I think we can easily come to the conclusion that we have got a serial killer on our hands.

HankAnderson: but a good question is how can they do that all alone?

ConnorRK800: I theorized about it during our break. You didn’t pay attention?

HankAnderson: i guess i was thinking about all of it???

HankAnderson: cause if this is INDEED a serial killer it will be a pain in the ass to find

HankAnderson: we havent got a lot of them in the past 10 years and so its always fucking worrying when one appears

HankAnderson: and its just? so fucked up

HankAnderson: like these fuckin androids have found someone they fucking love?? nd someone just takes that away from them, and they barely had time to enjoy life without fucked up shit yall got from us humans ugh

GavinReed: … u know i really do agree with you

NinesRK900: You? Agreeing with Lieutenant Anderson?

ConnorRK800: I think the end as you Gen-Zers and Millennials talk so fondly about is coming.

GavinReed: har har har

GavinReed: fuck u

GavinReed: but yea i do phcking agree???

GavinReed: i cant really imagine how it is to start your life just like so shittily??

GavinReed: and even tho i hate yall tin asses

GavinReed: you just… dont phcking deserve that

NinesRK900: I feel as if rA9 just blessed us today Connor.

ConnorRK800: Yes, indeed.

GavinReed: wow phck you guys

HankAnderson: soft

GavinReed: PHCK OFF

ConnorRK800: Lieutenant, do you indeed know some of the details of the crimes?

HankAnderson: ….pshhhhh sadly I fuckin do

HankAnderson: tortured til they die then they fuckin peel skin off on some parts of their bodies and nail their hands together like they are holdin hands

ConnorRK800: That is correct.

GavinReed: OK yeah but u guys didnt tell us how a person can do this all alone

NinesRK900: Well, it’s a fact that androids are a lot more stronger than most of the human population.

ConnorRK800: And so they would have to take out the android first.

NinesRK900: What the killer does is that he uses a device that if plugged in the ports of an android will in a way ‘fry’ the circuits and go into a forced statis.

ConnorRK800: And since the person takes them by surprise they don’t react fast enough to stop the person.

NinesRK900: And the human gets a hard blow to the head that knocks them out enough til they arrive to the place were they are supposedly tortured.

ConnorRK800: And we are also sure that this is a human as we have found latex glove residue near the port and wounds.

HankAnderson: hey fuckers sorry to interrupt but lets meet at chicken feed in 15

HankAnderson: we really need to talk about it and how to stop it

HankAnderson: and it might not b the best idea to talk about it on here

ConnorRK800: I have actually encrypted this group chat because I predicted that we will talk about work. But ok.

NinesRK900: We’ll be there.

 

Friday 11th March - 09:07

Private Chat between BigBro and LilBro

BigBro: Nines? The best brother ever! One of the only highlights of my life! My family whom I adore most!

LilBro: What do you want Connor.

BigBro: It’s just. I am ecstatic.

LilBro: And why is that.

BigBro: Because? Hank let me use his last name as my own! You must have seen that!

LilBro: Yeah. Cool.

BigBro: …

BigBro: Just… cool? That is rather underwhelming...

LilBro: You see, I’m indeed extremely happy for you and rather(very) jealous as I am still convincing(pressuring) Gavin into giving me his.

LilBro: But I know if I am going to react very happily and positively you are going to go on a rant about Lieutenant Anderson and I Don’t Need That.

LilBro: I have enough issues with Gavin as he is still Very Stubborn. Go and scream to your other two friends about it.

BigBro: Meanie.

LilBro: Love you.

BigBro: … Love you too.

 

Group Chat ‘The Best of Trios’

RoboCop: Guys!!!

RoboCop: I’m so ecstatic!!!

RoboMom: Is it about who I think it is???

RoboCop: Yes!!!

RoboJesus: !!!

RoboJesus: Did you guys kiss??

RoboMom: Did you guys… do the do?!

RoboJesus: DID YOU GUYS GET MARRIED?!

RoboMom: DID YOU GUYS A D O P T TWO CHILDREN?! AND A N D R O I D AND H U M A N???

RoboCop: Ok first of all, no… that would be wonderful though.

RoboCop: Second of all, No. We didn’t do the freaky frak. The dingly do. (Though I wish.)

RoboCop: Third of all??? No? But in a way close…

RoboCop: And fourth, that is a faraway dream that I do not dare think of for multiple reasons.

RoboMom: Oh yeah! Sorry!!

RoboCop: It’s fine, Kara. : )

RoboJesus: Ok but. Spill the beans.

RoboCop: Well as you all know now we can have a last name(Thank you Markus : ) ), and so I have asked Hank if I could use his.

RoboCop: At first he reacted very awkwardly and tried to explain that usually only married couples do that.(Which you all know I wouldn’t mind one bit.)

RoboMom: (We all know that sweetie.)

RoboJesus: (You aren’t trying to hide it either though.)

RoboCop: (Good point.)

RoboCop: Well that was about one or two days ago. But this morning after I came from the break room with his usual coffee I saw a plaque on my desk, and on it was written ‘Connor Anderson’ and I was like!!! It felt like my thirium pump had a malfunction of sorts.

RoboMom: What did he say :00

RoboCop: He looked sheepish and just said ‘There you go, happy now?’ and then told me how we will go later in the day to make it official.

RoboJesus: I’m so happy for you! I can’t believe you guys are getting closer to getting married wow. :,)

RoboMom: Yes,,, I’m so proud as well,,, my baby boy is growing up.

RoboCop: !!!

RoboCop: Hank noticed that I was talking to someone(since I still have the LED and there is nothing distressing me at the moment) and he just!!! Smiled at me and oh rA9 I think my thirium pump is indeed malfunctioning.

RoboMom: Find yourself someone to love on that capacity.

RoboJesus: :,)

RoboMom: :,,,)