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Awkward.

It was so very awkward—in your opinion, at least. What were you thinking, almost kissing him. Maybe you weren’t even thinking, and that was the problem. You couldn’t help but reconstruct the scene again and again in your head, damning yourself for being so irritable, for joining them at the bar. Damning Gavin for—jeez I don’t know—existing? Or for maybe just being an insufferable, odious, hubristic fucking prick of a person.

 


 

“I will break this glass and shove it so far up your dickhole you’ll end up with brain damage.” and even though it wasn’t a promise, you started making your way towards Gavin because of course he had to open his yap and make his presence known.

Most of your colleagues’ eyes darted over to you upon your loud exclamation. Sober you will definitely regret bringing this kind of unwanted attention to yourself, but for the moment, you were ready to pounce.

Except Connor stood in your way, preventing a conflict uglier than that asshat’s smug fucking mug. You’d gladly spend some time in jail in exchange for his well deserved defeat. Or well, that’s what intoxicated you apparently thought.

Connor softly, yet firmly, let your name leave his lips, “I’ll escort you out of the building. I think some fresh air is much needed.”

But your eyes were fixed on the retreating form past him, oozing an air of victory. You despised it, despised him.

“Why don’t you escort our local fuckwad out of everyone’s lives instead?” you retorted.

He took hold of your biceps and turned you around, walking you out through the door. You immediately felt an improvement in your mood upon breathing in the crisp air, leaning against a wall.

“Deviant or not, I can’t fathom how you’re able to stand that guy.” you sighed, “And even though you’re like the goldmine for his insatiable need to bully.”

“Androids are designed with a remarkably high—but as it has been proved, not unlimited—tolerance.”

“Hm, just a matter of time before he annoys you to your limit too, then.” you mused. “Greet you on the other side when you’ve finally had it.”

“...I doubt you will ‘greet me on the other side’, in case I’ve, hypothetically, ‘finally had it.’ “ he paused. “It would signify that I’ve become compromised—deviant—and I’d be replaced by another, stable, RK800 to accomplish my... failed mission.”

You studied his face and his posture, and although you couldn’t see his LED from where you stood, you deduced that something in his manner had changed, like he was unsettled by that thought. It was all some wicked irony—and that’s when a thought hit you square in the face. You tried stomping it down with your foot, but ignoring things with even just a tittle of alcohol in your system proved for the second time this evening to be difficult. You kicked yourself off the wall and grabbed Connor’s hand, moving to stand in front of him.

“Let’s play a game.” your other hand made its way to his empty one and he looked at you with immense curiosity and slight confusion. You let go of his hands and trailed your own up his arms, finally landing on his shoulders to give him a flirtatious massage.

“People say your first kiss should spark something in you and leave a desire for more.” you started playing with his tie, “The rules of this game is that I’m going to kiss you, and if you don’t feel like you want another one, CyberLife wins. But if you, on the other hand, end up craving more, you and I win... You in?”

His LED flickered and spun yellow before he agreed to your terms and conditions.

“Oh—and you are not permitted to lie in any way, shape or form. Capisce?”

“...Capisco.”

You smiled sweetly, his eyes trained on your every move. You caressed his cheek and tilted his head down for you to reach, and when your lips reached his—it felt like you were the one being kissed for the first time. You had initiated this make-out-disguised-as-a-game with him for two reasons: one, you were secretly rooting for him to become deviant, subtly—sometimes not so—trying to somehow steer him in that direction; two... you just wanted a taste of those perfect lips, even if only just once! You were definitely starting to feel a dull sense of regret somewhere in the back of your mind, of course you wouldn’t be satisfied with one kiss, you greedy ho. An esurient lusting for his lips surely was worse than an obtrusive curiosity for them?

You guided his hands onto your back, bordering on your behind. Perhaps it was just the alcohol talking, but you seem to be lusting for his touch too. Your hands settled on his biceps, and before you got too carried away and took the game to level 2, you pulled back, already missing him.

“So, who wins?” you asked, at last.

Red, and then he kissed you.

 


 

You tried to focus on the blurry streets of Detroit through the driverless cab’s window, but even in your best attempt at an escape, your eyes and thoughts managed to switch over to the one, very thing you were trying to avoid; or at least its reflection.

How could you have been so selfish, he’s going to be deactivated, destroyed—murdered. The damage was irreversible, and it was your fault. All you could possibly do was to keep a low profile so as to not alert CyberLife about their recently-turned-deviant deviant hunter. What a pickle.

But more importantly—how could you have been so dumb. So. Purely. Dumb. He had kissed you back, dare I say even become deviant for you, going against all his commands; for you? And you... pushed him back? What?? The dumbest. You had then proceeded to hail a cab to excuse yourself, but Connor was seeing you get back home safely, no matter your say in it—

You heard your name being called out rather pressingly, you must have missed the first call.

“...Yes?”

He seemed slightly relieved that you answered him—maybe he was scared that he was offered the silent treatment—but his disquietude hadn’t washed off completely.

“I... played by the game’s rules, yet you seem... disturbed by the outcome.” he was fidgeting with his pocketed quarter, “Would you mind explaining to me why that is, as I don’t quite... understand?”

You bit your lip and frowned, still looking out the window. When you heard him whisper an apology you immediately felt guilt seep into every fiber of your being. Fuck.

The car slowed to a stop outside of your home and with heavy feet, you got out after paying. His apology hung in the air until you made it to the doormat, where you—instead of opening the door like a normal person—banged your head into it. Not once, not twice, but thrice. Ouch, and rather hard too.

Connor rushed to pry you away from the door, your actions resembling with too much likeness the incident at the precinct cells with the deviant who had self-destructed. You were there. Goddamnit, think before you act, for fuck’s sake. He was probably beginning to regret the choice he made earlier.

“Please refrain from causing yourself harm.”

Your emotions got the best of you and before you could start crying, you spun right around and embraced him, kissed him. He was caught off guard and almost stumbled off the steps with you. When you wistfully parted, his confusion had at least doubled.

“I...’m afraid I still don’t understand.”

“That kind of makes two of us, one and a half of us? I... I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do when you actually kissed me back, I mean... It’s a hell of a situation I’ve put us in and I guess... I just, I ran. But I don’t wanna run, I can’t run; it’s a race one doesn’t simply win.” you said, his hands in yours where you stroked them with your thumbs, “And I don’t want you to go through deviancy alone; you’ve got me, just like I’ve always got you.”

He looked down at your joined hands upon the mention of deviancy, “I... I am not... I am not a—“

“Connor, no lying, remember?” you tried to bring light into him as you puffed out a laugh, but he looked troubled still, “Hey, look at me. Listen. I will never, ever, let them take you.”

I’ve got you.