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yoongi sometimes thinks about jimin.

 

not that often though, just every now and again he finds his mind wandering to the boy sat next to him. or even when jimin isn’t sat next to him, his thoughts drift off to him. it’s not a problem, not yet anyway, but some days yoongi can’t stop thinking about jimin.

 

yet, everything’s okay.

 

--

 

it’s nothing too bad, sometimes yoongi will think back to how jimin smiles. his eyes curling into crescent moon shapes, lips stretching over his teeth in a large smile. the member’s tease him about how his eyes disappear, but yoongi loves jimin’s smile. it’s always full of joy and warmth, and it makes yoongi’s heart skip a beat.

 

it’s nothing too bad, sometimes yoongi will steal glances when he knows he shouldn’t be. but practicing in front of massive mirrors, baring all their mistakes and tiny details in their choreography, it’s hard not to look.

jimin dances like it’s the only thing in the world he can do. his body moves with the music, not missing a beat, and yoongi is often distracted by how passionate jimin looks. his features are set in firm lines, eyes completely focused on himself in the mirror; making sure to perfect step and turn.

 

yoongi finds himself helpless and tripping up on his own feet, the music suddenly stopping and tired glances from the rest of the members. he’s embarrassed - he always is - but then jimin smiles at him, a barely there smile just to reassure yoongi, and the music is starting back up and everything is okay.

 

--

 

they’re performing live today, and they’re stood in the waiting room. their makeup and clothing is done, yet jimin is sat cross legged on the floor holding up a compact mirror.

 

yoongi can see him frowning into the tiny circle glass before pulling a small tube out of his cardigan pocket. he’s a little confused at first - he’s pretty sure they shouldn’t be carrying anything around with them - but when he notices what the tube is, yoongi feels his mouth drop open.

 

jimin parts his lips slowly, moving the mirror a little closer and slides the lid off the tube with his thumb in one motion.

he’s applying chapstick and it’s cherry flavoured and the red tinted balm glides across jimin’s lips effortlessly, adding a reddish sheen to them.

 

yoongi’s eyes zone into jimin’s lips automatically, finding it hard to stop staring at the boy carries on applying his chapstick.

 

it’s so stupid, but even when jimin is done and the tube is put away and he’s just talking, yoongi can’t stop looking. the reddish sheen is still there, making jimin’s full lips look even plumper than usual.

 

yoongi is sure that jimin is speaking, his lips are moving and the light catching on them every now and again, but he can’t seem to focus on anything else just yet. sometimes jimin would grin, mouth open to laugh and sometimes he would slide his tongue across his bottom lip and then other times he would bite them and damn, was the room this hot before?

 

“-gi hyung,” he hears in the distance.

“yah! yoongi hyung!” jimin yells again, and this time yoongi snaps his eyes upwards to look jimin dead in the eyes.

 

his eye brows are furrowed slightly and his lips are turned down in a slight frown, “are you alright? you spaced out for a while.”

 

yoongi feels himself relax, “yeah, i’m fine.”

jimin laughs, “did you wanna borrow my chapstick?”

 

nothing stops yoongi’s face from instantly heating up, and he’s sure that jimin noticed but he doesn’t question it because he’s already up on his feet and holding out the small tube.

 

yoongi reaches out for it, taking the chapstick from jimin and forcing himself to smile slightly as a thank you.

he realises that his lips are a little dry anyway as he applies the balm, and jimin is still smiling at him and everything is okay.

 

--

 

yoongi doesn’t usually like skin ship.

 

he doesn’t enjoy being pressed against people, placing his hands on their shoulders or waist and being forced to laugh and look natural. he’s told constantly by management to try and act closer, for the fans to enjoy, but he always feels his body stiffen at anyone’s touch. i

 

yet, when jimin stands too close to him, he takes comfort in the warmth radiating through their clothes. jimin flashes yoongi a smile before placing his hand around yoongi’s waist so naturally that yoongi almost envies him. but then he’s slinging his arm over jimin’s shoulder and everything is okay.

 

--

 

it’s not like yoongi purposely stares at jimin, not at all. there’s just something in the way that jimin captures his attention so fully, like jimin is the only person in the room and demands to be looked at.

 

yoongi feels almost feels guilty, he doesn’t choose to always stare at jimin until the other is seemingly uncomfortable and asking paranoid questions about if there’s something on his face. he really doesn’t mean to, and yet even when he knows he’s doing it, he can’t stop.

 

he tries to avert his eyes before jimin catches his gaze, but almost always he fails. once jimin’s eyes are locked on his, yoongi can’t help but let his breath stutter and his cheeks slowly colour.

jimin’s slowly started getting used to it, and his gaze softens when he sees yoongi looking at him.

 

with a reassuring smile and a matching gaze, everything seems okay.

--

 

yoongi doesn’t tell the others, but his favourite moments are when him and jimin are alone. he doesn’t really speak much, but the idle chatter coming from jimin fills in all the gaps.

he pretends he’s not listening, instead trying to concentrate on unfinished lyrics in front of him with his back facing jimin.

 

despite the fact that jimin is completely irritating sometimes, he soft voice rising until it’s at a stupid high volume, the fact that jimin’s voice creates a soft hum in the background keeps yoongi focused.

listening to other music with lyrics is too distracting while trying to write his own, and complete silence is just as deafening.

 

jimin’s still talking, and yoongi is still stuck on his lyrics.

he spins around in his chair to look at jimin, and holds back a laugh when he sees the strange position the younger one is in. jimin is sat on the old worn out soft upside down, his head hanging off the sofa cushions and his legs up on the wall.

yoongi can’t imagine that being a comfortable position, but jimin is still talking so he must be fine.

 

then, jimin stops talking and he’s looking up at yoongi from his weird position.

 

“is everything okay?” jimin questions, his voice a little strained.

yoongi shrugs, “just stuck on lyrics.”

jimin hmm’s before switching up his position, opting now to sit normally. yoongi ignores the light flush on jimin’s face.

“write about your feelings, hyung.” jimin suggests, gesturing towards yoongi.

a sigh escapes his mouth, “i don’t know what i’m feeling though.”

 

jimin places his index finger on his lips and taps, thinking about what to say next.

“ah! i know!” jimin bounces up and down on the sofa excitedly, the springs making worrying noises under him, “write about me!”

 

yoongi’s mind races before going blank, and he manages to splutter out a, “no.” before spinning around back to the desk.

he misses the hurt look on jimin’s face, but he doesn’t take it too seriously anyway before he’s grinning again, “then, hyung, write about love.”

 

yoongi thinks about sweet smiles, fleeting glances and delicate touches and everything is okay.

 

--



it’s difficult for yoongi not to wonder that if he didn’t get to where he was now, what he’d be doing instead.

 

he would love to think that he’d have a stable relationship, a petty girl with long dark hair and a slim build that adores him.

he would love to think that he’d have a great job that he loved, working a 9-5 shift and coming home to dinner on the table.

he would love to think that he’d have two kids, one boy and one girl, and he would have that perfect white-picket fence kind of life.

 

yoongi thinks and thinks, but he can’t quite see himself living that kind of life. he wouldn’t exchange what he’s got now - six best friends and his fans and his music - for some domestic lifestyle.

 

sometimes he lies in bed awake, staring up at the ceiling, and he thinks about jimin. it’s no longer a rare or fleeting thought anymore, but a whole plan instead his head blooming as time goes on.

 

he thinks about kissing jimin, being able to kiss him whenever he likes instead of dreaming.

he thinks about holding jimin’s hand, their fingers entwined together and palms pressed together.

he thinks about going on a date with jimin, being able to stare as much as he likes without being questioned.

 

yoongi thinks about a lot of things, things he wouldn’t admit to anyone (things he can barely admit to himself), so he finally closes his eyes and jimin is still there, yet everything is okay.

 

--



he dreams about his wedding one night, the images are hazy and the voices are slurred but he sees himself at the front of the aisle, waiting patiently for his bride to walk up beside him. yoongi feels tense, even though it’s just a dream, and he can’t stop the bubbling sensation of panic rising in him. he’s rooted to the ground, his shiny shoes not moving from his spot and his tux incredibly stiff and cold over his body.

 

he’s jolted awake by jimin flopping down on him while laughing, and everything is okay.

 

--

 

yoongi is distracted again. the members cleared off somewhere, something to do with the cinema, and he’d been too lazy to move from his bed.

 

jimin had barged in a little while after, making himself comfortable next to yoongi by pulling the covers back and lying beside him.

they’re both facing each other, and they’re so close that yoongi can feel jimin’s breath fan against his face, but jimin won’t stop talking and it’s not even midday yet so he just wants to sleep and -

 

“yoongi hyung, are you even listening?”

he grunts, pulling the covers up higher over their heads. everything suddenly seems so intimate, even closer than before, and jimin is shuffling closer.

it’s pitch black under the covers, and yoongi almost jumps when he feels cold fingers wrap around his wrist.

 

“you’re freezing,” he gasps instead, trying to shake off jimin’s cold touch as he feels goose bumps ripple up his arm. yoongi tries to tell himself it’s just because jimin’s cold, nothing else.

“can we just,” jimin rearranges himself until his chest is pressed against yoongi’s, their knees touching. “stay like this for a bit?”

 

yoongi’s breath catches in his throat, and even though it’s too dark to see jimin’s face or his eyes, he feels like he’s been trapped in his own bed.

the escape route is easy, he could just pull the covers back down and everything would be okay.

 

but jimin’s hand isn’t on his wrist anymore, it’s cupping his face and jimin’s fingers are still cold against his flushed skin.

yoongi wonders if jimin knows he’s blushing, but jimin doesn’t do anything apart from rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.

 

“ah, hyung,” jimin whispers, shuffling closer until their noses brush against each other.

yoongi waits for jimin to continue, but he finds his hand moving until it’s placed on jimin’s waist. when his palm meets bare skin, he feels his heart leap. jimin warm now, his fingers thawing out to become almost uncomfortably hot against his already warm skin.

 

it’s okay though, because it’s jimin and jimin is his best friend and he really likes jimin and they’re the only ones here and -

 

“yoongi hyung, can i do something?” jimin’s voice is so quiet that yoongi has to strain to hear him.

 

he opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out so he nods instead.

 

“just stay still, okay?” it’s a rhetorical question, yoongi knows, but he finds himself nodding again.

 

it doesn’t occur to him that the pressure on his lips is from jimin, but when it finally settles in, he feels a shiver up his spine and a quiet gasp leaving his lips.

jimin pulls back, and yoongi digs his fingers into jimin’s side as if to say please don’t stop.

 

yoongi is confused, his brain is all muddled up and jimin is kissing him again and his heart is fluttering and his stomach is bubbling and so much is happening all at once, but he manages to kiss jimin back full force.

 

he’s scared and he’s nervous, yet this is what he’s been dreaming about - park jimin - and the way he feels jimin pressing closer and his lips moving more desperately comforts him.

 

jimin is here, yoongi is here, and everything is okay.