The low hum of the bus is the only thing to be heard right now. Everyone went to sleep some time ago, apart from Seb and Dan. They’d been chatting about exactly nothing and everything, finishing bottles and finding new ones. They’re sitting on the bus sofa, Dan on Sebastian’s lap and they’re making out. It’s nothing new; they’ve done this a million times. They’re both drunk, and feeling kind of lonely, and kissing is always fun. Dan is warm and soft and willing, and Sebastian really likes him. He’s also one hell of a kisser. They both know this is just fun and silliness, so there’s nothing really sexual about the kissing. But sometimes Sebastian wonders what it would be like, if Dan kissed him with actual intent, with the goal of getting him naked and hard. Would he be more aggressive? Kissing him forcefully, hands in his hair, tugging. Or would he be teasing him? Light kisses, slight nip here and there…
Dan pulls away and wiggles a bit on Sebs lap.
“I see you’re enjoying yourself there”
Seb looks at him, confused, because what happened to the kissing, and then he feels Dan wiggle bit more and realizes what he meant. He’s hard. Dan is currently wiggling on top of his hard penis.
“Sorry” Seb laughs awkwardly “You’re just really good kisser, you know” he tries to play it cool.
“Oh, thank you. You wana continue, or you’ll go have some… you time…” Dan looks pointedly at Sebs crotch and at his bunk and gets up. Seb gets up too.
“Oh yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
When he passes Dan, who’s just standing there, right in the middle of the aisle not moving and inch when Seb goes past him, Dan whispers “Will you be thinking about me?”
Seb looks at him wide eyed and confused, and Dan doubles down laughing.
“You should’ve seen your face oh my god.”
“I hate you”, Seb punches Dan slightly in the arm “And don’t you try following me, you perv!”
“In your dreams, Danzig, in your dreams.”
They both go do their night routines and disappear into their bunks.
Sebastian tries to get comfortable, but he can’t. He keeps tossing and turning, and his brain won’t shut up, thinking about million things at once, sending him random images, snippets of conversations, melodies and quotes. It’s like his brain didn’t close all of the tabs he opened during the day. He turns to lie on his side, kicking the blanket down, once again. He groans and puts a hand over his eyes, as if that could help. More images floods in. Dogs, stage, Remington hanging off of the ceiling, and Emerson smiling at him, brown hair hung over pretty face, his guitar… Suddenly he feels his phone vibrate. Oh god, he just wants to sleep, why won’t people leave him alone for a minute. He opens his eyes and checks the phone. It’s a message from Dan.
Want me to come up and snuggle?
Seb grins at his phone and sends some funny memes as an answer. For a bit nothing is happening, and then his phone vibrates again. This time it’s not a text from Dan. It’s a notification that Dan posted something on his instagram story. He opens insta and checks it. It’s their snuggling pants conversation screenshoted, completed with #rejection. He laughs quietly and sends a text:
Pantless dork comes response.
ust proving my point
I guess so, but that’s not the question, the question is, do you want a pantless dork at your bunk to snuggle with you so you can sleep? I can hear you tossing and its waking me up.
Come up then, pantless dork.
Sebastian hears rustling and his curtains being pushed away. Dan stands there with wide grin on his face “Move over, you might be thin, but you’re taking up the whole space.”
Sebastian obediently scoots to the wall and Dan climbs in. He has his favourite awful green t-shirt and briefs on.
“Hey I thought you said no pants?“
“Oh my god, I always forget what a British nerd you are. Obviously I meant trousers, why would I be without my underpatns”
“And here was me hoping…”
“Want me to take them off? Because I will. And we will be snuggling in this tiny bunk with mu junk all hanging out.”
Sebastian just makes a noncommittal noise and tries to get comfortable. They end up spooning, with Dan being the little spoon. Sebastian is fully enjoying his position. Dan is soft, and warm, and smells of something nice mixed with cigarettes and alcohol. Seb is enjoying that smell very much.
Later they arrive at the house they’ll be staying at for few days. No one is surprised when Dan rooms with Sebastian, that was never up for question. Seb is sprawled over the king sized bed, replying to tweets and absolutely not waiting up for Dan, who’s in the shower. Sebastian can hear the water running in the adjacent bathroom. He is totally and absolutely checking instagram and not thinking of Dan in the shower. Imagining how the water runs down Dan’s broad shoulders, down to his dark nipples, and down to his belly, and down…
Seb mentally slaps himself and sighs. Great, now I’ve got a boner. That’s just great. He looks around the room and tries really hard to concentrate on the overall mess of the place, the overflowing suitcases, clothes everywhere, trashbags with dans clothes , the big bed bed… ok, this isn’t helping. At all. He sighs and considers going to the toilet to sort out his not so little problem, when he realizes the water stopped running. Dan enters the room wearing nothing but a towel around his hips. And it’s exactly as Seb imagined it. Dans brown hair is wet and water is dripping at his shoulders, and running down to the towel. Sebastian is following the droplet of water with his eyes. When it gets soaked to the towel, he drags his eyes up to find another drop. Instead he’s met with Dan’s smiley eyes.
“Oh, someone’s got a little lost on instagram posts”, Dan laughs nodding to Sebs crotch, “who are you checking out”, he bounces down on the bed next to Seb, “show me!”
“It’s nothing “, Seb puts down his phone quickly, “I was just…. Reminiscencing..”
“Now that must’ve been some good memories man, and let me tell you, shower is a great place where to reminiscence some more” Dan nudges Seb and makes jerking off gestures over his towel.
Yeah, that’s the right place for me right now, not here with you and all your naked body and towels and nipples Seb thinks as he gets up.
“Thanks for the advice man, I would’ve never guessed that you just jerked off in the shower.”
“Anything for my bro” Dan yells from the bed as Seb closes the door.
In the bathroom, Seb takes off his clothes in matter of milliseconds, steps into the shower and starts the water. His main question now is truly Shakespearean. To jerk off, or to not jerk off. The thing is, if he would jerk off, it would be probably at least to some point about Dan, and he doesn’t wanna think about his best friend during. It would make things weird. But if he won’t jerk off, he will be hard all the gooddamn time even if he have a cold shower. And lying in bed with Dan would probably make him hard again. Judging by his body hating him lately, and deciding that Dan is hot. What’s happening with him. He’s never thought of Dan this way. He sighs and takes a hold of his already hard cock.
He tries to be quick and almost sterile, strictly boobs and long hairs and vaginas, and he’s doing really good, stroking quick and hard, enjoying the memories in his head, replaying his favourites. He bites his hand as he comes to stop himself for shouting.
Back in the bedroom he is greeted by half naked Dan, sprawled all over the bed, already fast asleep. Seb sighs and gets to the bed, gingerly avoiding sleeping Dan, but adjusting him, so he can fit there too. When he moves Dan’s leg, Dan stirs and opens one eye.
“What are you doing?”
“Dude, you’re laying everywhere, where am I supposed to sleep?”
“Am I not a good lay” Dan smirks and closes his eye.
“Oh my god” Sebastian groans, and nudges Dan’s hip “Move, I wanna sleep now.”
Dan groans and moves to lie on his side. Seb doesn’t hesitate for a minute and joins Dan, this time being the small spoon. They both sigh contently and fall asleep.
“Sebastian! Wake up!”
“Sebastian, wake up! We’ve got a video to shoot.”
Sebastian opens his eyes and looks at Emerson “But it’s too early, and it’s so cozy in here.” He tries to protest.
“Of course it’s cosy when Dan acts likes a second blanket to you! But we gotta go now, and you have to wake up Remington, he’s still asleep.”
Sebastian rolls his eyes and unwillingly gets up from the bed. It’s kind of a hard work, because yeah, Dan is draped all over him, and Sebastian doesn’t wanna wake him up. When he finally gets out of bed, he looks back at Dan who’s sound asleep, looking cute as ever. Emerson catches that look and laugh whispers “Don’t worry; your boyfriend will keep your bad warm.”
“You’re an idiot” Sebastian informs his younger brother, but doesn’t really protest to calling Dan his boyfriend. He really doesn’t have the time to deal with whatever this is or might be. He needs to go wake up Remington and to shoot a bloody video.
During the shoot there’s lots of time for thinking. And boy, does he have things to think about. Why does he, or his body, find Dan so insanely attractive lately? He is definitely not sexually deprived, and this is not sexual deprivation. This is... He isn’t sure. Does he find guys attractive? Some of them, sure. He’s not blind. He never had anything with another guy though. Except from Dan and kissing. And few other guys when he was drunk enough. But that was the extent of it. It wasn’t oh wow you hot, let’s have sex, it was more of a oh wow, the world is fuzzy and we’re friends, and I wanna kiss someone right now.
He tries to think back. Did he ever got hot over a dude? As far as he knows, this is the first time. Well, there’s a first time for everything, right. But what about Dan.
Seb sighs as he turns the car yet again to shoot the exact same shot again. He doesn’t wanna loose Dan. They’re best friends. And what if Dan gets scared? What if he thinks they can’t be friends anymore? Not even because homophobia or something, Sebastian knows Dan is ok with that, but what if things change between them. Dan will forever know Seb wants him, wants him naked above him, hands pinned above his head, Dan sitting on him, grinding…
“Sebastian! Were free! We can go now!”
Seb shakes his head and realizes that the shoot is probably over. Well, this part of the shoot, and they can finally get out of this hellish place.
When they get home in the evening, after the actually really cool shoot in the theatre, Sebastian is no closer to solving his little problem. He goes for a shower first, and then to grab something to drink. Through the glass door he sees Dan, who’s sitting in the garden chair, legs on the coffee table, reading some book. Seb smiles to himself, takes his glass and goes to sit by Dan.
“Hey there gorgeous, what are you reading?”
“Oh hey, you’re back”, Dan smiles at him, “I’m just re-reading Kishon, Book of travels” he waves the book under Sebs nose and sets it aside. “How was the shoot?”
Sebastian launches into long and detailed description of the hell shoot in the desert and then the cool shoot in the theatre. He doesn’t even realize when he slumped from the chair down, so now he leans on Dan’s leg and Dan is slowly massaging his back.
“Hey, how does he get a back massage and not me? I want a massage too! “
Seb looks at Remington annoyed. “Go eat some Nutella and chill.”
“Nutella and chill? Kinky… Dan I would be worried if I were you…” Remingotn goes to sit to the now empty chair and he lapses into a circle of complaint about having to wake up early and look energetic all day when he just wants to sleep.
“But now I’m all awake and it’s so annoying.”
“You are annoying” Seb points out.
“What, am I ruining a romantic evening with Dan or something? Emerson is drawing and I think Luis went out to take some pictures and I have no idea where Phil is.”
Dan perks up and whispers in gossip tone, ”You think he’s fucking?”
Both Sebastian and Remington starts to laugh.
“You think he’s fucking?”
“You think he’s fucking? I’m fucking!”
Dan laughs with them.
The evening progresses and they are all bit drunk by now, and every now and then one of them yells out of nowhere “You think he’s fucking” and they all start to giggle anew.
“Ok, I’m getting tired finally, so I’m off to sleep. Be nice and don’t do anything Phil wouldn’t!” Remington says as he gets up and leaves. When Remington closes the glass door, Sebastian looks Dan very seriously in the eyes and asks “Hey, you think he’s fucking?”
“You idiot”, Dan laughs and hits Sebastian’s back. “But I’m getting sleepy too. I think I’m calling it a day. You should probably do the same, you were up quite early.”
“How would you know, mister I can sleep till afternoon?”
Dan looks at him like he’s crazy “I know when you left, you think I wouldn’t notice you leaving? I got used to sleeping with you, it’s weird when I’m alone.”
Sebastian just looks at him with those huge eyes, and doesn’t move.
“Yes, this is me telling you to go sleep with me. C’mon, we both know you’ll sleep better with me there” Dan offers his hand to Seb to help him get up.
Sebastian can’t really argue with that, so he lets himself be pulled up and blindly follows Dan to the bedroom.
Seb is waiting for Dan to shower. Again. He has already showered, got in bed, and now he’s totally checking instagram. Again. It’s like no time has passed at all. For a minute he entertains the thought of going to the bathroom and joining Dan. He can feel how good that would feel. Stepping in, wrapping his hands around Dan’s body, resting his head onto Dan’s shoulders, and just be there, with him, with no worries. But he knows that’s just a crazy idea. What would Dan think? It boils down to that. What would Dan think.
He rolls onto his side and looks at the bathroom door. He wishes he had a superpower, so he could see through the wooden door. Or maybe being invisible would be better? He could go in and watch Dan… Ok, this is getting creepy.
Dan opens the door, once again just in the bloody towel. He looks Sebastian up and down, or more like left to right.
“Oh, no boner tonight? And here was me hoping…”
“Me? It’s you who’s laying here all staring at the door and waiting for me to come out. You like what you see?”
Dan slowly turns around.
Seb indeed likes what he sees. Soft tummy, strong back, and those fucking hands, all wet and warm within his reach…
“Keep dreaming Curcio” he says, carefully carelessly, and looks down at his phone.
He keeps his eyes firmly on the phone, as he hears Dan walk around, the sliding of the fabric, and rustling of his bag. He knows Dan is naked now. Sliding off of his towel into his boxers and t-shirt. And he is very firm about not imagining it.
Suddenly the bed moves, as Dan gets in.
“Move!” he gestures to Seb. Sebastian compliantly moves, so Dan can get right next to him.
“You know, you should sleep now. Instagram can always wait.” Dan mumbles quietly next to Sebastian’s ear.
“Yeah I know, I’ll just post some fanart and turn the light off.”
“Hmmmmmm”, Dan agrees and folds himself around Sebastian. Seb quickly finishes and closes his phone. Then turns off the lights, and turns to Dan. Dan is looking at him silently. Seb puts one hand on Dan’s hip and squeezes a little and then he lets his hand wander to Dan’s naked back and applies a bit of pressure, so Dan moves closer. Dan obediently moves closer and now their legs are intertwined, they’re chest to chest, hands around each other. Seb breathes in.
“I.. I have something to tell you.”
Dan eyes got worried immediately. “Are you ok? Did anyone do something to you? “
“No, it’s not like that, don’t worry. I just… I have these.. feelings.. lately…”
Dan is looking at him, questioningly.
Sebastian looks at the wall and finds one particular spot. He locks his eyes there.
There’s a complete silence. Seb looks at the wall. He can hear Dan breathing.
The wall is very interesting. Not taking eyes off of it.
“Sebastian!” Dan tightens his hands around Sebs body.
Sebastian slowly drags his eyes down. Dan is still here, with him. It can’t be that bad. He looks Dan in the eyes. Dans eyes are warm.
“Seb. I didnt know. I.. was I being too flirty? Do we need to set some rules? Seb, you know that I don’t… Im not… I…”
“Its ok. I know. “
“Im so sorry.” “ Can I hug you?”
Dan is hugging Seb like it’s the only important thing on the planet.
“You know I love you”he whispers into Sebs hair.
“I love you too.”
“Just ... not like this.”
“I know. I just don’t wanna lose you.”
“You think you could lose me? You fool! You’re not getting rid of me that easily. I mean… if you want me to stay. “
“Of course I do!” Seb pulls away to look at Dan. I want you to stay. “This, whatever it is, I can deal with it. There’s always another day.” Sebastian’s eyes are getting dangerously wet. He can see Dan’s eyes glistening too.
“Should we like... stop sleeping together?” Dan asks cautiously.
“No! I mean, if you’re ok with it. I like this. I like having you near.”
“I do too. “Dan smiles.
“Best friends. “
They lie there, cuddling and snuggling, stroking each other’s hair for quite some time. Then Seb shifts and smiles.
“Hey Dan, best friends do kiss, right?”
“They most definitely do! But… you’ll be ok? I don’t want to do anything to make you feel… I don’t know, bad. Like… we should talk some rules? Should I stop being so flirty?”
“Flirting is definitely ok. Kissing now. Rules later.“Seb answers as his mouth finds Dan’s.
They will need to talk more, and properly, but this, right now, this is what he needs. And Sebastian knows, it will be ok.