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this secret language that we speak

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Zhao Yunlan knows Shen Wei's mad because he gets grabbed by the arm and dragged off, but he knows that he's in trouble because when Zhao Yunlan whines and says, "Baby, can't you take my hand instead?", Shen Wei actually lets him take his hand, and, more shockingly, links their fingers together.

He squeezes Zhao Yunlan's hand crushingly tight and says, not looking at him, "I ought to drag you by the ear, feel lucky."

"That's way too much like my mother," says Zhao Yunlan. He's having to hustle to keep up with Shen Wei's effortlessly long strides. Shen Wei must be super pissed then, because usually he manages to remember that normal humans can't take ten li at a step.

Zhao Yunlan did go do something stupid though, so he keeps his mouth shut and submits to half-trotting behind Shen Wei to keep up, and tries to concentrate on enjoying the rare pleasure of holding hands with Shen Wei, even if Zhao Yunlan is about to get his ass chewed off. Shen Wei looks around with a frown, and the next thing Zhao Yunlan knows, he's being unkindly hustled into an alley and feels the winter chill of a barrier snapping into place behind them, as Shen Wei shoves him against a building's rough brick side. Even as Zhao Yunlan lets out a surprised puff of air, Shen Wei's other hand is behind his head, cupping his skull so it doesn't slam against the hard brick.

Despite this, Shen Wei still has Zhao Yunlan's hand in an inescapably tight grip, and his long, cool body covers Zhao Yunlan's from shoulder to thigh. Shen Wei shoves his knee aggressively in between Zhao Yunlan's legs and brings his face to an inch of Yunlan's.

Zhao Yunlan was going to try to be cute and pouty but Shen Wei looks really upset, not just angry, so he stays quiet and looks into Shen Wei's beautiful eyes, black as a singularity. "I told you --" begins Shen Wei, and then actually growls like an angry tiger and kisses him, mean and nasty, biting, until Zhao Yunlan's lost all breath and is making soft needy noises against his mouth. Shen Wei pulls away and says, half despairing, "You can't do such reckless things. You have too many people who depend on you. What would they do --"

He doesn't say 'what would I do', but Yunlan hears it anyway. He gets the hand that Shen Wei isn't holding tightly free and puts it in the soft silk of Shen Wei's hair. Shen Wei leans into his hand but he looks so unhappy that Zhao Yunlan's black heart softens a little. He can't stand to see Shen Wei looking like this so he says, half joking, "If you don't want your baby to be so naughty, you ought to punish him."

Shen Wei says, "Are you serious?" He pulls back enough to look at Yunlan and for a second Zhao Yunlan is torn between playing it coy and flirtatious and the fact that if Shen Wei thinks he's joking he'll just get more upset and -- well, if Zhao Yunlan can't leave Shen Wei, Shen Wei better not think he can escape from Zhao Yunlan's greedy hands either.

He twists the hand in Shen Wei's grip gently, until Shen Wei looks at it blankly, as if he'd forgotten he'd even captured it, and then lets it go, and then loops both arms around Shen Wei's neck. "If it makes you feel better you could spank my ass raw," he says, lowering his eyes and then looking up through his eyelashes. "I'd cry for you."

Shen Wei shudders, bone deep. "Don't say things like that unless you mean it," he warns him.

"Of course I mean it," says Zhao Yunlan. He looks at Shen Wei again, staring into his eyes, even though Shen Wei tries to avoid them. There's a long moment of silence and then Shen Wei sighs.

Then, quick as a flash, his mouth is on the side of Zhao Yunlan's shoulder, just above his clavicle, and he bites hard. "Fuck!" howls Zhao Yunlan. Instinctively he tries to break free, but Shen Wei's grip is too strong to break. He keeps on biting and sucking Yunlan's shoulder until Zhao Yunlan goes limp with endorphins and lets him do it.

Shen Wei lifts his head and smiles. It's his ghost king smile, cold and pleased. Zhao Yunlan goes a little light headed. "Don't think that was your punishment," says Shen Wei, with a purr in his voice that makes Zhao Yunlan ready to fall to his knees in that filthy alley. "That was for being a brat and suggesting that something you like as a punishment."

Zhao Yunlan recovers like, a fifth of his wits, enough to pout up at him. "Doesn't daddy want to help baby behave better?" he says, and then he yelps, because Shen Wei sweeps him into an embarrassing princess carry and opens a black portal.

"Oh believe me," says Shen Wei. "I do."


The portal opens straight into Zhao Yunlan's apartment. Shen Wei sets him down on the couch and says, "Stay there," in a tone that Zhao Yunlan wouldn't dare to disobey even if he wanted to, and disappears again in a swirl of black, reappearing thirty seconds later with his sleeves rolled up in the way that drives Yunlan absolutely out of his mind with lust, holding a drawing pad and an old fashioned drawing box.

Zhao Yunlan pushes himself up, but when he goes to stand, Shen Wei gives him a look that makes him sink down onto the couch again.

"If you don't want to do this any more," says Shen Wei, "you get off the couch, and we'll do whatever you want. Do you understand?"

Zhao Yunlan is so hot he thinks he's going to light the couch on fire. He swallows and nods.

"I didn't hear you," says Shen Wei, implacable as death. "Do you understand?"

Zhao Yunlan has to clear his throat, and when he manages to speak, his voice is graveled with arousal. "Yeah. I do."

"Good," says Shen Wei.

He waits for a second, as if he's expecting Zhao Yunlan to say something else, and then he sets down the drawing board and box and comes to Yunlan on the couch, pressing down on him with all his weight. Zhao Yunlan stretches out under him, pleased at being captured, and Shen Wei rewards him with a long, deep kiss that makes Zhao Yunlan feel like he's being eaten up by the big bad wolf.

He lets Zhao Yunlan pull out his shirt and slide his hands under it, lets him touch the long cool line of his spine and drag his nails down it. He pushes Zhao Yunlan's coat off his shoulders, half trapping him, until Zhao Yunlan manages to wriggle out of it impatiently. Shen Wei rewards him with a series of hot, open mouthed kisses down his neck and shoulder, pushing Zhao Yunlan's soft cotton shirt up his chest so Shen Wei could bite softly at his chest and suck on his nipples like he thought milk would come out of them if he tried hard enough. Zhao Yunlan is vaguely aware that he's moaning enthusiastically, but it's too hard to control his mouth when he could be holding Shen Wei's closer against his skin and rubbing up against the fine, silky cotton of Shen Wei's shirt.

"Take it off," he pleads, grabbing handfuls of Shen Wei's shirt and trying to pull. Shen Wei bites him again and he loses his grip. "I want to -- come on, let me --"

Shen Wei chooses this moment to sit up, despite Zhao Yunlan's clutching hands, and look down at the disheveled wreck he's left him in. Another smile flashes across his face -- not the ghost king smile, but just purely gloating and possessive. Zhao Yunlan hates that even that smile turns him on. Shen Wei kisses him, much too chastely, and then, to Zhao Yunlan's speechless horror, gets off the couch. He moves to the chair nearby and picks up his drawing board as composedly as if he hadn't tonguefucked Zhao Yunlan into a needy puddle. Then, the bastard sets Zhao Yunlan's cell phone down beside him (and when had he stolen that, the fucker?) and looks at his own watch. "If you can sit nicely and let me draw for an hour," he says, "I'll give you what you want."

Zhao Yunlan almost spontaneously combusts there and then. "Are you fucking kidding me? An hour? What are you going to draw?"

Shen Wei slants him a look from under his eyelashes and says, "What do you think I'm going to draw?"

Zhao Yunlan moans. "Come on, baby," he pleads. How is he supposed to live an hour with Shen Wei just -- staring at him, drawing him, not touching him or letting Zhao Yunlan touch him?

"You can get off the couch and we can make love," says Shen Wei. His face is placid.

Zhao Yunlan doesn't want to make love. He wants to get fucked, and Shen Wei knows it as well as he does. "Xiao Wei," he whines.

"Be good," says Shen Wei. And then the asshole actually begins to draw, looking back and forth briefly as he sketches.

It's barely endurable for a minute, and then Zhao Yunlan starts thinking about how easy it would be to get up and give Shen Wei something to really draw. If he got up and went on his knees in front of Shen Wei, would Shen Wei let him nuzzle in and mouth his cock through his wool pants? Would he let Zhao Yunlan open his pants and put kisses all over it until he reached the top? Would he let Zhao Yunlan stretch his mouth as far as he could manage, let him swallow it down and suck it until Yunlan went lightheaded with need and choked on it? Would he just let him take it at his own place, or would Shen Wei's beautiful hands grip Zhao Yunlan's hair and pull him how he wanted him?

Fuck, he's so turned on and he hasn't even touched himself.

"I wouldn't come before the end of the hour," says Shen Wei, still not looking up from his work, "not if I were you."

Zhao Yunlan makes an inhuman wail. "What am I supposed to do then? Just lie here?" His balls are going to explode in another minute, and then Shen Wei will be sorry.

"You can pose," says Shen Wei indifferently. Zhao Yunlan stares at him, hard, and he sees that Shen Wei, at least, is not as unaffected as he tries to make himself appear: his face is faintly flushed and his nostrils keep flaring, like he can smell the arousal on Zhao Yunlan. Zhao Yunlan wouldn't put it past him.

"What do you mean, pose?" says Zhao Yunlan. He flings one arm out in an exaggerated "paint me like one of your french girls" way and makes a moue at Shen Wei, who looks unmoved.

"You can touch yourself," says Shen Wei. "I'd like to see that. But don't come."

"Fffuuuckkk," says Zhao Yunlan, as his vision goes white and crackling at the edges. Before he recovers conscious thought, he's somehow undone his pants and is digging madly in the cushions for his emergency tube of lube. He's got them all over the apartment now, a habit which Shen Wei deplores as decadent even as he takes full advantage of it. "Don't do this, don't do that, why didn't you tie me up then?"

That's a mistake, because he has a vivid image of Shen Wei tying him up with - with - with red silk, probably, classy but unambiguously sexual. He can see Shen Wei's cool, strong hands lifting him into position as he worked beautiful, unbreakable knots as clearly as if it's really happening. He has to stop and breathe in and out for a minute. Fuck, he wants that. Just to be a work of art from Shen Wei's hands, just for Shen Wei's eyes. He looks up at Shen Wei.

Shen Wei licks his lips, just the tiniest tip of his tongue flicking out, and Zhao Yunlan silently accepts the fact that he is going to die by the end of this hour. "I don't want to," says Shen Wei, with a fair pretense at calm.

"You don't?" says Zhao Yunlan.

"I like it when you are good for me," says Shen Wei. "Isn't that better? When you do what I want, just because you want to do it, instead of being tied up. Instead of me making you."

Zhao Yunlan vaguely realizes that he's panting, open mouthed, wanton. "Please," he says. "Please, please."

"It's so easy for you to be sweet," says Shen Wei, his voice a low growl that grinds up Zhao Yunlan 's spine like a flint against rock. "But you fight it every time." His eyes move slowly down Zhao Yunlan's body, like a burning physical touch, and he says, "I thought I told you to touch yourself."

Zhao Yunlan wraps his hand around his own cock and almost comes. He lets out a guttural moan, his back arching like he's suffering an electric shock. "I can't --"

"You can do it," says Shen Wei. "I know you can."

Somehow Yunlan drags himself from the edge. He loses track of time a little, because the next thing he knows, he's staring up at the ceiling. His mouth feels dry from panting, but his hand is still on his cock, keeping it hard. He turns his head with a monumental effort to see if Shen Wei is still there. He must be, because Yunlan can feel his eyes on him, hot as wildfire. Shen Wei is still drawing, looking remote and composed, but his ears are redder than peonies. "Shen Wei," says Zhao Yunlan.

"What is it, Ah Lan?" says Shen Wei, and Zhao Yunlan has to squeeze himself, cruelly tight, before he comes. Fuck, he loves it when Shen Wei calls him that. "You've still got half an hour left. Do you want to give up?"

Zhao Yunlan thinks about it. His mind is in a haze but he remembers that he's supposed to be good and that Shen Wei won't help him. He wants - he doesn't want to give up, because if he gives up he won't get what he wants. He'll get something else, but he won't get Shen Wei over him, fucking him with all the casual inhuman strength at his command. He won't -- "My mouth is dry," he says.

Shen Wei gets up and goes to the kitchen. Zhao Yunlan stares at his back as he moves around and thinks how easy it would be to jump on him, take what he wants -- but Zhao Yunlan's too stubborn. He'll last out this hour even if his balls explode. Shen Wei returns with a cup of tea and holds it out to Zhao Yunlan. Yunlan sees a chance, and pouts up at him. "I can't drink it like this," he says.

"Take your hand off yourself and sit up, then," says Shen Wei, calmly.

"You're so mean," whines Zhao Yunlan. "Xiao Wei, you're so mean to me!" He sits up and has to blink through a rush of blood to his head. Somehow Shen Wei gets him to drink the tea without more than the barest brush of their fingers together, a touch that Zhao Yunlan feels like electricity throughout his body.

Shen Wei sets the tea cup down, sits down again and says, "Keep posing, I'm not done yet."

"Fuuuck," says Zhao Yunlan, shuddering, "what type of filthy ass porn are you even drawing?"

"You," says Shen Wei.


To be honest, Zhao Yunlan doesn't even notice Shen Wei looking at his watch and then setting his drawing board aside. He is vaguely aware when Shen Wei stands up, but it only drags a low whine out of him. He doesn't like it when Shen Wei doesn't look at him.

"Hush," says Shen Wei, and his voice has gone to the tender tone that makes Zhao Yunlan feel so cherished and safe, instead of the strict tone Shen Wei had used to keep him holding his pose. "Hush, I'm coming to you, Ah Lan."

Yunlan blinks up at him. "Is it an hour?" he says. Shen Wei bends down and kisses him in reply. He lets him drink from his mouth until Zhao Yunlan's greedy soul is almost satisfied. Yunlan puts his arms around Shen Wei and clings.

"You did so good," says Shen Wei, pulling away just enough to breathe the words into Zhao Yunlan's mouth. "You were so good, Ah Lan."

A vague thought surfaces. "Are you still mad at me?"

Shen Wei bites his ear sharply, enough to make Zhao Yunlan cry out and claw at Shen Wei. "I wasn't mad at you. You scared me. Don't scare me any more."

"I'll try," says Zhao Yunlan. He puts his hands on the front of Shen Wei's shirt and tries to unbutton it, but his hands are trembling. He's so hot, he needs - he needs - he tries again and says, "Come on, I was good, I was good --"

"You were so good," says Shen Wei, nuzzling into the nape of his neck, and finally, blessedly, beginning to undo the tiny mother of pearl buttons on his shirt before Zhao Yunlan has to summon the strength to rip them off. The shirt falls open and Zhao Yunlan growls at the sight of Shen Wei's undershirt. Usually he finds it kind of hot, knowing under all those proper layers is a man who wants to eat Zhao Yunlan alive, that he can leave marks on Shen Wei that nobody would ever expect -- but right now he wants to put his hands all over the cool expanse of Shen Wei's skin. Shen Wei's skin is always so chilly, like touching a piece of expensive jade, and Zhao Yunlan wants him closer so Shen Wei can share his warmth. He shoves the shirt off Shen Wei's shoulders and paws impatiently at his undershirt until Shen Wei separates from him enough to pull it off.

Zhao Yunlan licks his lips. He could come right now, just grinding up against Shen Wei, but instead he relaxes as much as he can and opens his legs to let Shen Wei settle into the cradle of his thighs.

"What do you want?" says Shen Wei, dipping his head down to scrape his teeth along Zhao Yunlan's neck. "You were so good, taking your punishment, I'll give it to you."

"Fuck me," says Yunlan. "Fuck me, I want to be fucked, give it to me, give it to me --"

"All right," says Shen Wei. "You're so sweet like this, I'll indulge you this once." He undoes his belt and fly, but Zhao Yunlan just helps him shove his pants half way down his thighs before he starts grinding against him. "You're so impatient," scolds Shen Wei, but he pulls Zhao Yunlan's pants the rest of the way off so he's bared, just his shirt shoved up around his chest, and digs out the lube from under the cushion.

He looks around like he's trying to figure something out, but before he can move Zhao Yunlan locks his legs around his hips. "Fucking raw me," he says. "I deserve it, give it to me --"

"So spoilt," says Shen Wei, his voice deepening an octave. "I better not hear you complaining about the mess afterward."

"Who spoiled me like this?" says Zhao Yunlan, and lets Shen Wei put his legs over his shoulders and start rubbing lube over his asshole. Zhao Yunlan stretches luxuriously under Shen Wei's heavy, cool weight and the feeling of Shen Wei's fingers touching him, one finger entering him with Shen Wei's usual care. "Anyway, you'll make sure your baby's nice and clean, won't you?"

"Brat," says Shen Wei, and bites another mark over the one he'd bitten on Zhao Yunlan's shoulder before. Zhao Yunlan yells and retaliates by dragging his fingers down Shen Wei's back, hard, which backfires when Shen Wei just looks at him from under his heavy eyelashes and shoves another finger into Zhao Yunlan's ass.

"Ffffuckkkk," moans Yunlan. Shen Wei has a preternatural ability to find exactly where it feels good on the first try, and Zhao Yunlan is so wound up that only the knowledge that Shen Wei would stop if he comes before Shen Wei's fucking his ass lets him survive it. He digs his claws in tight and lets the waves of pleasure buffet him, even as Shen Wei puts open mouthed, sucking kisses all over his face and throat and chest. He's going to look like he was mauled when he goes to work. Zhao Yunlan can't wait to wear a slutty low-necked shirt to display all these love bites. He punches Shen Wei as hard as he can, but the fucker doesn't even have the courtesy to give him the face of pretending he felt it. "Stop playing with my asshole and fuck me for real!"

"Rude," says Shen Wei, with a twist of his hand that has Yunlan seeing stars.

"Stop playing with my asshole and fuck me for real, please!" says Zhao Yunlan. "Oh, oh - please, I want it, I want it --"

"Since you asked nicely," says Shen Wei. He rearranges Zhao Yunlan how he wants him and then - finally, finally - pushes into Zhao Yunlan in a slow relentless drive that makes Zhao Yunlan yell so loud that he's vaguely grateful for the concrete block construction of his apartment building. He digs in again, probably breaking Shen Wei's perfect porcelain skin, and Shen Wei seats himself deep, deep.

"Oh fuck," says Zhao Yunlan vaguely. "Oh fuck, yeah, that's good, baby, that's what I want." Shen Wei kisses him again and begins to move, much too slowly to satisfy the burn in Yunlan's body, and to make it worse he won't let Zhao Yunlan move. His legs are around Shen Wei's shoulders, and he can only take what Shen Wei choses to give him, despite Zhao Yunlan's increasing curses.

"Do you want more?" says Shen Wei. His face is beginning to flush, the color the poets used to call peach-blossom spreading over his face and down his neck. "How much do you want?"

"All of it," says Zhao Yunlan, drunk on pleasure and Shen Wei's focused attention. "All of it, give me all of you, give me it --"

"I will," says Shen Wei, and it sounds like a promise. For a second their eyes meet and Zhao Yunlan feels again the drag of the singularity at the heart of Shen Wei's soul, before Shen Wei bends his head and kisses him before he really gives Zhao Yunlan what he wants. All Zhao Yunlan can smell is Shen Wei's skin and all he can feel is the grind of Shen Wei's hips against his body and the shocking heat of Shen Wei's cock in his ass. All he can hear is the subvocal, primal growl of Shen Wei's voice as he says things like, "Mine - my --" before he bites him again, hard, against Zhao Yunlan's Adam's apple, and that's it, Zhao Yunlan sees nothing but a white haze.

He probably screams again, but he's only aware of convulsing like he's been shocked by a taser and the way Shen Wei shouts, once, before he comes too. Zhao Yunlan feels the hot rush of his release and wishes he could come again at the feeling.


When he comes to again, he's on the bed and Shen Wei is pulling a clean shirt over his head, holding him up with casual ease. Zhao Yunlan resentfully paws at Shen Wei's pajama top. "Take it off," he says. "Stop dressing me, I wanna cuddle."

"That's not modest," says Shen Wei, unbelievably prissy for a guy who regularly fucks Zhao Yunlan so hard that he has to keep ice packs at work. The look he gives Shen Wei must express this, because Shen Wei sighs like it's a big fucking compromise he has to make to keep his boyfriend happy, and takes off his shirt.

"Why are you wearing a tank under your pajamas," says Zhao Yunlan, bleakly. Everything about his life is often terrible, but honestly the way that Shen Wei refuses to let him leer at his naked form is definitely, definitely the worst.

Shen Wei chooses to ignore this in favor of helping him sit up enough to accept a cup of ginger tea, which he watches Zhao Yunlan drink with narrow-eyed concentration, and then -- finally -- gets into bed with him and allows Zhao Yunlan to crowd into his space and wrap around him like an octopus.

Shen Wei allows Zhao Yunlan to aggressively snuggle into a good position, before he kisses the top of Zhao Yunlan's head and says, "How do you feel?"

Zhao Yunlan reluctantly lifts his head from Shen Wei's chest and says, "Aren't we past you feeling guilty for fucking me into a puddle?"

Shen Wei has no response to this, and Zhao Yunlan takes his hand and twines his fingers together. Shen Wei's heart beats against his ear, slow and strong. After a minute, Zhao Yunlan says, "I'll probably always do stupid shit and freak you out."

Shen Wei sighs and rubs his cheek against Zhao Yunlan's hair. "I know," he says. "But I don't care. Don't think doing stupid things like that will make me give you up."

"Good," says Zhao Yunlan.