Chapter 1: When your characters decide to break the fourth wall out of boredom
Writer’s comments: W/C
Carl: NO! Don’t go in there, Ben, it’s not safe. We should wait for Dad to come back first.
Ben: Aww! Come on dude chillax will ya? I m just going in the attic to get some stuff for my school project.
Carl: hm… Yeah you do have a point there, I don’t see why the writer has to be so dramatic about a 15 year old going into his own attic to get some dusty old cardboard for his school project which he doesn’t even want to do.
W/C: wait! That’s not what you’re supposed to say….!
Ben: IKR! Crappy plot setting tbh AND we both know she ain’t got the guts to write horror .Heck! I would be amazed if she even manages to a watch horror by herself at night.
W/C: EXCUSAFUCKINGME! I’ll have you know that I just prefer company whenever I decide to watch a movie.
Carl: EXACTLY! And obviously there’s isn’t going to be a psychotic serial killer hiding in there because this is supposed to be a slice of life shit with a pinch of humor which she clearly lacks a whole lot of.
Ben: true and ugh that lame excuse of a genre that basically screams a romcom just waiting to happen.
W/C: Don’t you dare insult the great genre of slice of life, I’ll have you know many wonderful animes have been born from this very genre .You ignorant pieces of letters!
Carl: Also who the hell names their characters Carl and Ben like seriously? You couldn’t think of any other names except that!!??
W/C: I M NOT GOOD AT GIVING NAMES OKAY!? GIVE ME A BREAK.
Ben: that’s our writer for ya.
W/C: now if you two have decided to stop throwing shade at me, would you ever so kindly like to continue the story you were meant to be characters in?
Carl: hmm nah! Not really feeling up for it.
Ben: yeah the story doesn’t even intrigue me all that much.
W/C: HEY! you can’t say something like that about a story that doesn’t even exist yet.
Carl: and besides breaking the fourth wall is way more fun anyways.
Ben: YUP! :)
W/C: oh no…..
Chapter 2: When your characters decide to break the fourth wall just to throw shade at their writer:
Where the writer is called out for being absolutely ridculous and a new character is introduced.
English is not my first language so forgive the poor grammar and lack of commas.
Also,I feel bad for Carl :p
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Marika: Well…. you coming or not?
Ben: god! Buns on eggs, hold on would ya? At least let a guy tie his shoelaces in peace.
Marika: no I can’t, because we’re running late. We were supposed to meet Carl ten minutes ago.
Ben: relax lil sis, Carl isn’t a baby. I m pretty sure the guy can wait an extra fifth teen minutes and not cause all hell to break loss on earth now.
Marika: You do remember the last time we left him alone; he was being chased by a dog.
Ben: Haha yeah! Poor guy was running for his dear life, really has some bad luck with dogs, I wonder what the guy did in his previous life to piss off dogs so much that they even despise him now .Hell! Dogs start barking and chasing him whenever Carl so much as steps into a ten meter radius of them.
Marika: And that is preciously why we (points at herself and Ben) as his siblings should prevent the potential death of our brother from having his head ripped off by a dog.
Ben: damn what a way to go though, also, jeez! With you being so responsible, I sometimes forget that you’re the youngest.
Marika: well maybe if our oldest could be responsible for once, I wouldn’t have to!
Ben: oh please! I’m only older than him by a few minutes .We’re called fraternal twins for reason, ya know?
Marika: still doesn’t excuse your indifference to the situation though.
Ben: fine, I get it! Get it! Now can you stop nagging me and hurry up.
W/C: good, that’s it! Stick to the story and barely existing plot.
Marika: ugh! I would love to but I can’t walk any faster in these damn heels.
Ben: seriously? Oh great, the writer just HAD to make you wear heels huh…Real smart, ain’t she?
Marika: tell me about it, why do i have to wear heels? When she herself despises them! Like seriously the girl’s afraid she might trip and bust her neck.Overreaction much?
W/C: what! How dare you? Heels are slow torture devices invented to make women self cautious about their height (Note: tall or short no BS here, that’s just my personal opinion, if you like/love heels that completely fine as well).
Ben: no, it’s not! Just admit it you’re paranoid about them that’s all. You freaky patata!
W/C: such disrespect! I don’t deserve to be treated this way, especially not by nonexistent teenagers!
Ben: why did u even make her height small in the first small? It’s contradicting your previous statement.
Marika: yeah? What’s with the stereotype of making girls shorter than guys? Just because I’m younger than them, doesn’t equate to me being shorter than them.
W/C: but but, I did this because I think that makes you cute. Just image a cute lil girl being so responsible and mature <33333 .Besides, being short is not a abnormality! it’s a part of who you are, no matter how tall or short you are, it doesn’t change your worth one bit.
Ben: Well, You just made it a lot easier for people to not take her seriously in this world filled with materialistic people. Also did you just type out a HEART!? Next to your sentence, really?
W/C: Wait, wtf!? I never meant anything like that! This was supposed to be a lighthearted comedy, why in the blazes did it end up with my own characters dissing me like those people in YouTube comments. Also YES! I express my emotions by typing out emojis, got a problem with that?
Marika: you know? Your charming lil speech up there still doesn’t explain the need for me to wear heels.
Ben: Can we like? ignore the writer for the rest of our walk and not really follow the story anymore?
Marika: Heck yeah! Took the words right outta my mouth!
W/C: SUCH DISRESPECT! How dare you even think of ignoring me!!! I created you!
Ben: You made our brother get chased by a dog with murderous intentions!?All because you lack a basic sense of humor, all human beings should possess to some extent.
W/C: AY! AY! Why must you attack my humor? Huh? You narrow minded ignorant teens lack the intelligence to understand my superior level of humorisity.
Marika: ….that’s not even a real word!
W/C: ssshhh…… do not question my vocabulary for it is as wide as the sea and also unknown even to me…
Ben: Oohhh my god don’t …… please just don’t…. stop! Before we end up brain-dead by your sheer amount of cringeyness.
Marika: wait, is that Carl? , Oh my god! WHY is there a pack of 6 unleashed dogs chasing after him?!.....He’s coming this way. Quick, Ben do something!
Ben: ME!? What do you expect me to do? Oi writer! What did YOU do?
Marika & Ben: WRITER!?
W/C: What! I had to end this somehow. Besides it was getting too long anyway.
(While Carl runs past them shouting).
Carl: Help ME! These bloody mutts won’t leave me alone!
W/C: ooopppssss…. ;)
I actually had to google the collective nouns used for a group of dogs......
Chapter 3: When your characters decide to tell a story of their own:
Things get slightly out of hand.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Writer’s Comment: W/C.
“It faced me and I faced it. We were circling around each other, not even daring to break eye contact. It watched my every move with its beady, twitchy eyes. So, I couldn’t make any sudden movements or all hell could’ve broke loss on me. Slowly, I stepped towards the window, pushed it open and grabbed the nearest cushion in my living room. It was watching my every move. So, I had to be careful but then suddenly it leapt at me! But, I dodged it just in time before it could gauge my eyes out with its claws. I had to act quickly, so, I grabbed a cushion to shield myself and opened the window, it was just about to-”
Carl: Wait, wait! Weren’t you telling us the story about how a “PIGEON” got into your apartment and it just wouldn’t leave?
Carl: Dude, why does it sound like you’re describing, how a demon from the underworld got into your apartment?
Samuel: But you don’t understand! it wasn’t any normal pigeon! It was vicious and had murderous eyes. I bet all my failed grades, it had nightmare fuel for breakfast.
Ben: ok, stop. Your sorry excuses for grades aren’t something to bet on. So, either you’re joking or gone even more desperate since we last saw you. Also, what did you even do to that pigeon for it to come after you like some maniac serial killer?
Samuel: WHAT? I m not joking! And No!!! You guys know me, I‘m a peace loving human being. I would never hurt any living creature intentionally.
Carl: Did you eat its eggs because you were hungry and broke?
Samuel: NO! Carl, how low and desperate do you think I am? I may be broke but I would never stoop so low.
Carl: You’re not really giving a very plausible argument seeing how you live as a broke college student.
Samuel: okay but-.
Ben: So broke that you actually started crying in front of a store employee, who was giving out free tissue packs and refused to give you more than one.
Samuel: Look, that’s different. I was-.
Carl: Poor girl looked so horrified and embarrassed because of you. She even tried to comfort you with THE tissue she gave you.
Samuel: I WAS STRESSED OKAY? I had a very important test the next day. You should know it made half of my overall grades for the ENTIRE semester.
Carl: (sigh) it’s so sad to see such good looks go to waste.
Ben: Such a shame honestly….
Ben: So, isn’t there something YOU should be telling us, writer?
Carl: What? Can’t even justify your own ridiculousness this time?
Samuel: Who are you guys talking to?
Ben: Was it not enough for Carl to be chased and get nearly bitten by dogs? That you had to subject more innocent individual to the wrath of nightmare fuel induced animals?
Samuel: Wait, What?
W/C: okay, I’ll admit. Mistakes were made.
Carl: Here we go again.
W/C: BUT, Look at the bright side! Carl got a cute lil puppy out of that whole ordeal.
Ben: He got a what now? (Turns to look at Carl in question)
Carl: Well… I was planning on introducing you to her when we get back from Samuel’s.
Ben: Wha...When?! Didn’t you swear to never go near dogs ever again? And how hasn’t it shredded you to pieces yet?
Carl: It hasn’t! It’s so adorable...I’m thinking of naming it Luna. And…
W/C: See? Not so bad after all, now is it?
Ben: wait, Carl. Don’t get swayed by the puppy. Shut it writer! That doesn’t let you off the hook for anything.
Samuel: Where is this voice coming from!?
Carl: its fine tho, I didn’t get hurt or anything aaaaaand I m thinking of asking dad if we could keep the puppy. I think, it’s already started getting attached to me.
W/C: well well :3.i guess “All wells that ends well” after all.
Ben: No, it’s not.
W/C: is too.
Ben: is not! Ugh forget this.
Samuel: okay, guys please stop with the jokes, would you? This isn’t funny anymore, just plain creepy. Who are you EVEN talking to? GOD!? MY dead goldfish!?
W/C: Excuse you!
Ben: Welp, you can add the art of creeping people out to your very limited skill sets.
W/C: Excuse you times two!
Carl: Come on, Ben! Think of it like this. Despite, our writer having a hopelessly sarcastic sense of humor, which some could attribute to slight lunacy?
W/C: Excuse you times three! Boi, don’t make me go to 4.
Carl: Still nobody got hurt now, did they? Though her antics are questionable indeed but harmless nonetheless.
W/C: Ummm….. I m confused. Are you trying to defend me?
Ben: (clicks tongue) you just want to keep the puppy, don’t you?
W/C: Oh, lighten up grumpy pants! It’s not like you don’t want the puppy .You’re just being stubborn.
Ben: Takes one to know one.
W/C: Oh? Finally accepting that, are we?
Ben: Excuse you!
Carl: For the love of all things that are still precious and pure left in this world. Would you two give it a rest already? Now that we thoroughly explored that you two are basically insufferable idiots. Can we just go home, so I can play with Luna?
W/C: Excuse you times…Argh! I even forgot the number of times my characters have offended me because of how offended I am! This is getting ridiculous, even for my standards!
Ben: Ahoo! I’d love to know, exactly what your STANDARDS are?
Carl: ugh, Can u two chill for one fucking sec-.
Samuel: uh guys!? I’d hate to break your friendly extremely questionable banter over there but the murderous pigeon brought back its gang for revenge!!!
Ben and Carl: WHAT THE HELL!?
Samuel: They’ve broken through the windows!!RUN!
Carl: Real mature way to handle an argument writer……
W/C: I don’t know what you’re talking about ;)
I have nothing against pigeons.....
Chapter 4: When your characters blame you for their shit.
W/C gives Ben a piece of her mind ;)
A new character is introduced! :D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Writer’s Comment: W/C
Ben: Writer, honestly you suck!
W/C: The hell?
Ben: I hope you know that, this is your fault.
W/C: WHY?! Nothing has even happened yet!
Ben: Well then. Kindly explain, me feeling like utter crap right now.
W/C: Are you fucking serious right now?
Ben: If I hadn’t eaten that entire cake because of some stupid competition.
W/C: Technically, if my memory serves me right and hasn’t gone jack shit like yours which FYI, it hasn’t. You weren’t forced to take place of some competitor but instead willingly volunteered, Also, you do realize that it wasn’t obliged, just asked of you?
Ben: WELL! Ugh… Fine! It’s your fault that I feel sick right now.
W/C: MY GOD! I knew you were childish but this is a whole new level down, even for you!
Ben: Now wait a fucking minute! Who gave yo-
W/C: I hope you know blaming others for your mistake is very immature. But since it’s YOU! we’re talking about, it’s not really that surprising to me.
Ben: What are you trying to say?
W/C: Nothing! Oh GREAT, intellectual face stuffer of cake.
Ben: Could ya drop the passive aggressiveness? It’s not really helping.
W/C: Look kid, you did this to yourself. You can’t just go around blaming others for your stupidity.
W/C: No buts young man! Own up to your mistakes and learn to face the consequences for your actions.
Ben: Hey Writer.
W/C: Such is the way to become a better person. So, He/She can help make the world a better place. And-
Ben: Would you shut up for one damn second from your shitty preaching.
W/C: RUDE!?I was just trying to-
Lizzy: YO? Like, are you the person Ben’s always complaining about? Also responsible for all that meta shit and whatnot?
W/C: Not entirely correct, but yes, I’m the creator of this mess.
Ben: As I was saying, before that unnecessary interruption-
W/C: Oh, for the ever-loving fuck sake! Boy, how many times do I have to-
Lizzy: Hey, I’ll make an offer. I’ll make lil Benjamin over here shut his trap if you let me have my own solo chapter in the future. How about it?
Ben: What the fuck?!You can’t just….mmmmffhhh!
Lizzy: (tucks tape back into her pocket) You’re welcome.
I wonder where lizzy got that tape from? :)