"Let’s do this. Let's go for it."
"You sure? I mean, we don't have to if you don't want –" Spike stopped suddenly.
"I just said I did. You're not having doubts –" Lew put his piece of pizza down, and frowned. The two of them had been having a simple night in when their conversation had turned serious. Dead serious.
"Of course not. Never with you."
Spike broke out that impossibly happy and safe grin of his that pretty much encompassed all of what was beautiful about him, and Lew felt something bittersweet twist in his stomach. Lew smiled back, and reached for Spike's hand. "Alright, let's do it."
"So that's it? We're moving in together?"
Spike leaned back on the couch, picked up the controller and focused back on the television, continuing his mission of killing zombies and saving the world. "Sure, why not? All I need to do is cut off my utilities at my apartment and give my landlord notice. In case you hadn't noticed, all my stuff has been here for months."
Lew gave him a wry smile and picked up his piece of pizza.
When Lew joined the force a few years ago, he hadn't planned on being anything special; he just wanted a way out. A way out of the haze of drugs, booze, rumours, fights, gangs, and wretched smells that haunted his sinuses when he walked up and down the halls of his apartment building, his bookbag heavy with textbooks and hockey skates; and the academy was his way out. His mom couldn't afford college, but the academy got him out.
And it got him into another life he couldn't have imagined.
He had somehow managed to excel in the academy. In a very short time, he had found himself fast tracked for SRU training. Part of him had been thrilled, and part of him wasn't sure he deserved it.
Spike stormed through the door to their apartment, Lew followed immediately behind before Spike had a chance to close him out. The door slammed shut behind Lew, his fists immediately curling in anger. Spike glanced at Lew and stalked out of the living room and into the kitchen. The sound of running water rushed out. "Don't you DARE walk out on me."
"I wasn't walking out," Spike retorted. "I'm just getting a damned drink of water! Or am I not allowed to get a drink of water now?"
Lew set his jaw, his molars grinded. He jabbed an accusing finger at Spike as he came stalking back into the living room, a glass of water tightly gripped in his hand. "You completely ignored that order from Sarge and you intentionally put all our lives at risk today."
Spike's nostrils flared at the accusation. He angrily slammed the water down on the coffee table, water sloshed out over the rim. "I did not intentionally put ANYONE's life in danger! YES, I ignored Sarge's order, but I did it to SAVE a life! How could even THINK I would intentionally put anyone's life in danger … especially yours?"
As if someone had pricked a pin in his ego, Spike deflated before Lew's eyes. He sank onto the couch; his arms folding into his lap, and his head hung so low, Lew thought he'd passed out.
"I'm … I'm sorry," whispered Lew.
That's when Spike quietly began to sob.
Lew sat on the ledge of the roof, his hands wrapped around the neck of the beer, his mind wrapped around his thoughts.
"Am I gonna have to call Sarge to talk you off the ledge?"
He started, his hands dropping the beer as they reached suddenly for the ledge to keep from slipping off. "Holy shit, don't do that! You scared the ever living shit out of me!"
"Jesus," Spike said as he reached out, his hands ineffectually splayed as though he could magically keep Lew from falling to his demise by sheer force of will. "I'm sorry, man. What are you doing out here anyway?"
Lew sighed. "Thinking."
"About what?" There was a nervous glint to his voice when he asked it and it made Lew smile.
"Nothing in particular."
Lew sighed again. "I was wondering if this is all it's going to be."
Spike furrowed his brow. "Come again?"
"That's what she said."
Spike snorted. "Seriously … what do you mean?"
Lew took a deep breath and swung his leg over the ledge to straddle it so he was facing Spike. Before he answered, he leaned over and took another beer from the case, and motioned for Spike to join him. Once Spike was comfortable, Lew took a pull of his beer and cleared his throat. "I mean, all of this," he motioned to the urban landscape before them. "Is this it? Is this what we were destined for?"
"I think we've done pretty well for ourselves, man."
Lew smiled at Spike. "Yeah, I guess."
"Sure, look at us. Who else gets to do what we do? We repel down the sides of buildings, disarm bombs, and save the day."
"Well, I get to repel down the sides of buildings. You get to sit in the van."
"Oh, that's low."
Lew tipped his beer at Spike and said, "I call 'em like I see 'em."
"It's pretty nice in the van, y'know," Spike replied, his voice petulant. "It's air conditioned in the summer, heated in the winter –"
"I'm messin' with you, man." Lew loved that about Spike, he could always see the brighter side of things.
"I know," Spike smiled shyly. Suddenly, Spike's eyes lit up, and he excitedly said, "Plus, I get Babycakes."
Lew nodded his head. "There's that."
Spike tilted his head back and looked up into the sky, the city lights creating an orange glow, the stars struggling to shine through. "And then there's us." He tilted his head a little to the right, looking down to see if Lew was watching him. He was.
"Yeah. You got me on that one."
Spike's hand reached out and found Lew's, snapping him out of his thoughts. Lew smiled and looked at their hands entwined. Spike was his friend, his best friend, and his lover.
"You still asleep?" Lew whispered.
"Yes," was Spike's response.
Spike snorted. "Let me sleep."
"You're a lazy ass."
"I know, but you love me."
"To my own detriment."