She wished that they could be what so many thought they were. Elita wished that they were truly what so many looked to them both for when they needed a definition for what love really must be like. She wished that she and Optimus could fulfill the quota that satisfied what so many wanted for true, unadulterated, untainted love to really look like; for what love sounded like and even felt like.
Elita wished that even while they rested beside each other on a makeshift bed in a temporary base, that she and Optimus truly were what so many thought they all wanted when they fantasized their own depictions of love.
So many thought they knew what they would even do for it. Hell, she knew some would die for it… Some would die for a chance at loving somebody, but the saddest part of it all that truly dug at her spark was that so few really knew what they were asking for.
So many times, someone had gotten a glimpse of just what loving someone truly means, and Elita knew it scared them. She would be lying if she said it didn’t scare her too. It goes against instinct to throw the value of one’s own life aside and dedicate every resource to the vitality of another’s. To the mind, there was no logic to it, but to the spark, it was the only solution when such a situation presented itself.
For she and Optimus, such situations had arisen all too often. They were the reason she still had the scarring under her armor where fusion cannon fire had made its mark. They were the reason Optimus wore his mask.
But nobody wants it once they get an idea of what loving somebody such as they love each other is really like. Nobody really wants the love that she and Optimus had branded for the better part of both their lives once they get an idea of what it really entails.
No, nobody wanted this.
Nobody wants it when it gets to the point that she and Optimus had reached. It’s scary then. For most who had even had a glimpse into understanding the shear intensity of a love such as theirs, most would think it terrifying, for most can’t comprehend the magnitude of it.
Love makes no sense though, and such was something that Elita had come to know as fact. Love devoids all logic and renders the processor obsolete.
Nobody wants it when the moment they are finally able to hold one another’s hands, they know it’s not the cold that is the reason they are both shaking.
Nobody wants it when such hopes of ever living any resemblance of a normal life, where outside is quiet at night and their sparkling is asleep on the monitor is the most euphoric of dreams.
Nobody wants it when they can’t seem to wipe all the tears away from the other’s optics and can only hold each other close as the pain threatens to become overwhelming.
Nobody wants it when they look into each other’s optics and know they are staring far far away... far away from here where none of this was really happening and they were still in that little apartment in Iacon where the rent was good but the ceilings were too low.
Nobody wants it when they know they’ve broken each other’s spark with their words and would trade anything to take them back.
Nobody wants it when they’ve known all they’ve done is broken their own vows and failed each other at every turn.
Nobody wants it when they would be apart and wake each morning dreading having to hear the reports for fear of each other’s names coming into subject.
Nobody wants it when the night they finally get the chance to have one another in what seems like vorns is spent with their team on just the other side of the wall with the echoing sounds of artillery fire in the distance.
Nobody wants it when they find themselves in a medical encampment with the other’s energon smeared all over their hands and the sound of gunfire still ringing in their audios as a medic tries to tell them the details of what exactly has happened.
Nobody wants it when hearing their voice over the comm. link instigates tears to come pouring from both their optics in unbridled joy and relief.
Nobody wants it when that first time they ever met is deemed the memory they want to die remembering; when their voices were higher and their optics were brighter and their hands were softer.
Nobody wants it when every prayer becomes them begging Primus for the other to be alright.
And yet, Elita knew everyone still wants it.
Everyone wants what they have, for loving someone with such unregistrable intensity can serve as something to keep going for in days such as these.
Everyone wants this when their fondest memories are drinking their evening energon on a mattress lain on the floor in a little studio apartment in Iacon, where the rent was good, but the ceilings were too low.
Everyone wants this when holding one another's hands isn’t instigated, but only natural as they walk side by side.
Everyone wants this when moments of privacy turn into comfortable silence as they simply enjoy the other’s company and find one another’s optics the only source of light in the otherwise lifeless room.
Everyone wants this when they can talk the night away and forget to recharge till it is nearly time to rise again for the day.
Everyone wants this when the act of making love has become nothing less than an art form and lust has long forfeited to passion.
Everyone wants this when a kiss is nothing less than a single moment of pure euphoria.
Everyone wants it when its beautiful. Nobody wants love when it’s real... Not till they actually have it.
And Elita smiled. For even yet, she wanted it.
She looked over to Optimus and saw his optics were closed, though she knew he was not yet in recharge. “Hey…” she whispered as she tapped his shoulder.
He mumbled something incoherent and she smiled as he moved over closer to her. He rested his arm over her torso as he lied on his front like usual.
“Love you,” she whispered as she sat up far enough to lean over and kiss his audio.
“Love you too, Ariel…” he replied drowsily as one of his optics cracked open and the corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. “Now sleep, sweetspark.”
Elita rested back onto the berth and kept to peering over to him.
Maybe it wasn’t that nobody wanted it… but rather that everyone needed it. If she and Optimus could serve as a testimate for what it is like to have it, than by Primus may He let them serve such a position well.