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Me, Me, Me and Me

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Wally West wouldn’t consider himself a very patient person, over all, even less so since he got his powers–which happened at such a young, crucial age, that his personality molded around them. And right now he’s staring at himself, wondering if it would be too damaging if he murdered a part of his psyche. Specifically: his impulsive side.

“Wa–you. Stop that. Stop pacing around. You’re going to break something. And you’re making me sound like my parents!”

Wally stops a few feet away from Wally and stares dumbfounded. “I’m literally you.”

“You’re–well, yeah. But no. You’re the impulsive part of me, which, on its own, is annoying.” Wally huffs and looks away from Impulsive Wally, who simply rolls his eyes and continues to move around–slowly, this time. (Slow-er.)

Impulsive Wally gances at the bookcase in front of him, then back at Wally. “If I’m the Impulsive Me, then you’re the Annoying You.”

Wally looks back at Impulsive Wally and frowns. “I just said you were the annoying one. Seriously, dude, think things through a bit you’re making me look bad.”


From his right, Science Wally speaks up, “If he’s Impulsive Me, and I’m Science Me, you’re Anger Me.”

Wally turns to Science Wally in surprise–whose personality trait had been easy to determine, as he had been the one to explain the logic behind this particular situation–and says: “I’m not–”

Science Wally crosses his arms and gives Not Anger Wally a pointed look. “Um, yeah, you are.”

Another, undetermined Wally walks to them, frowns at everyone in the room and then says: “He’s not.”

Science Wally and Not Anger Wally share a look.

Other Wally rolls his eyes, murmuring to himself something about his own stupidness and then, pointing at himself, he adds: “I am. Obviously.”

Science Wally and Not Anger Wally nod. “Of course.”

Impulsive Wally decides to join the conversation, and now all Wallys form a circle. Which is unnerving. To all of the Wallys. Impulsive Wally takes a step back, even if just to make it look less symmetrical. He puts his hands on his hips for good measure. “So, I’m Impulsive, he’s Science, he’s Anger, and you…” He nods his head at the undefined Wally. All Wally’s look at him. He pulls at his shirt’s collar.

“I guess I’m just, I don’t know, Core Wally.”

Angry Wally huffs and sits down, as far away from Not Anger Wally as possible.

Science Wally hums. “That…. Could be possible. We don’t have enough data to rule that out.”

Impulsive Wally gives Not Anger Wally a look and then shrugs, probably bored by the conversation already.

The door to the room opens–from outside–and all Wallys turn to see Dick walking in.

Not Anger Wally ogles at him.

“Hey, Walls. I just came by to see how you were doing.” He smiles, as though he still finds the situation funny, even an hour after it started, and looks from a Wally to another. “I’m not even sure which one of you I should be talking to.”

Not Anger Wally raises his hand, then lowers it, embarrassed, finally settling on just clearing his throat for attention. It works. “Science Me and, uh, me, concluded that I could be the Core Wally.”

Dick nods, his smile going from mocking to reassuring. It makes his chest feel warm.

“Well, the League's still working on a way to reverse this and… we are going to investigate a bit more of what happened to you.” He sits and Not Anger Wally (Possibly Core Wally) follows suit. They have a good three seat distance from Anger Wally.

“So you’re hacking your way in right,” he asks, looking straight at Robin’s white lenses, silently wishing he could see the eyes behind them. Dick looks away.

“Yeah. But I wanted to be with you until we left. Didn’t want you to be alone.”

Wally nodded. “Thanks. This is by far the weirdest thing that’s happened to me. And that includes both becoming a speedster and meeting Batman.”

Dick snorts. “C’mon. Seriously? We once stopped a guy from,” he waves his hands around for emphasis, “stealing the sphinx in space, and Batman is in the Top Three?”

Wally shrugs. “That was weird but like. Batman has a scarring first impression.”


Wally gulps and adds, “Meeting you is in the Top Five, I think.”

Dick looks back at him. “Really?”

Wally nods, suddenly a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, well. You were my hero. Yeah, Flash was my hero, and Batman was scary and impressive, and Superman can fly and Wonder Woman–but you. You were the Boy Wonder . You were Batman’s partner. Batman’s kid partner. You were a legend. In spite of being so short–”

Dick rolls his eyes, but otherwise doesn’t interrupt him. His smile only grows as Wally continues to speak.

“–you were just. Huge.” Wally’s face is burning red by when he finishes speaking, and he peaks a look a Dick’s reaction, who just. Smiles in awe.

Dick reaches to his mask to reveal blue eyes looking straight at Wally’s. Blue eyes that are smiling.

“I. I didn’t know you thought that of me. You never–you never said anything.”

Wally blinks. “I didn’t know how to. And by when I knew–I already thought differently of you. Better. Because I actually knew you.”

“Right,” Dick murmures softly, eyes never leaving Wally’s. Not until–

“Robin, we’re leaving in ten. We need you at the Hangar.”

Wally closes his eyes, shuddering, and listens as Dick answers back. “Be right there.”

When he opens his eyes again, the white lenses are back, but Dick is still looking at Wally. “Don’t worry KF. This will be over before you know it and we’ll be laughing about it in like, a day.”

Wally chuckles. “Right. Sure.”

Dick stands to leave and the door opens for him.

“Hey Rob.”

Dick looks at him over his shoulder. “Be safe.”

Dick smiles. “Always.”

The door closes and then, then he looks at all the other Wally’s. Anger Wally’s frown softened. Science Wally is staring at him as though something is  wrong–other than being split into four bodies–and Impulsive Wally looks slightly annoyed.

“You should’ve done something,” says Impulsive Wally.

Science Wally scratches his neck, lost.

Not Anger Wally huffs. “You kidding? I had to restrain–" His eyes widen in realization, and all Wallys look at him intently."–Oh.”


“I figured it out. I’m Romance Wally.”