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Duck Kisses

Chapter Text



Glomgold watched the sleeping form on the bed.

“This is ridiculous.”

He glared at Scrooge. Maybe that'd work.

No such luck. Scrooge remained trapped in the magical slumber.

Glomgold glanced around guiltily. And felt even more foolish. It wasn't like they hadn't kissed before. Damn, they had had sex.

He really was being ridiculous.

What did he have to lose? It wasn't like there was anyone around to even see his failure at this point. Everyone else had fallen prey to the magical sleep by now.

He cupped Scrooge's face.

“Time to wake up you miserable penny-pincher.”

He kissed him.

Glomgold pulled back. Nothing.

Scrooge was still unconscious.

Flinty let out a pained laugh. Of course it wouldn't work. Why had he even entertained the thought that it could? He shook his head, already starting to feel the effects of the spell. He too was about to fall asleep, just like the rest of Duckburg.

“So, I couldn't do it. Of course I could not.”

It wasn't like he fit the role of a fairy-tale prince.

Or was really capable of... Love...

Flinty rubbed his temples and yawned.

“Move over, Scroogey.”

He climbed onto the bed, next to Scrooge. He was still warm, and when Flinty listened he could hear his faint breathing. He had never been this still before though...

Flinty reached an arm around Scrooge and buried his bill into his neckfluff.

It was nice... Soft and warm...

“I'm... sorry. Maybe if you had... Chosen someone else you-”

He left the thought unfinished. Scrooge was right there, next to him. Flinty could almost imagine this was just one of those times he had stayed at the bin for the night. It would be nice if it was, if he'd wake up next to him. And keep waking up next to him. Every day.

He really wanted to... He hadn't really thought he did... Part of him had just always waited for this relationship to just fall apart. The moment of Scrooge finally realizing this had been a mistake.

It was getting harder for Flinty's increasingly sleepy mind to think. At least he was together with Scrooge. That felt good and right. And maybe it had really been... all along? Flinty snuggled closer and planted a soft kiss on Scrooge's neck. And for a fraction of a second Glomgold fullheartedly believed in love.

The magic flowed free, pulling at the soul of the sleeping duck, dragging him from his slumber.


Flinty opened his eyes. “S-Scrooge? You're fine?”

“What? Of course I am? Why are you in my bed? Fully dressed? Why is my bin full of dead plants?”

Glomgold pulled him into a kiss. “Welcome back, you idiot. What a wonderful mess you've caused this time.”

Scrooge frowned. “Why are you smiling like that? Are you ill?”

Glomgold jumped down from the bed. “Hm? You must be imagining things. It's true what they say; old age doesn't come alone. You got the whole city wrapped up in some magical nonsense of yours. I believe there was a dragon. According to your nephew anyway. So it was probably just a slightly agitated turkey.”

“I remember... A spell. What was this all about? What woke me up?”

Flinty shrugged. “You want to know? I leaned in veeery close to whisper in your ear: 'I guess this makes me the richest duck in the world' and you dragged yourself awake through the supernatural sleep out of pure spite.”

Scrooge gave him an odd look. “Hm. Okay. That sounds plausible.”

Flinty walked to the door. “I'm sure half of Duckburg will be here soon, hopefully not with pitchforks. So I'll take my leave. Have fun cleaning up the mess you've made.”


Glomgold stopped.

“I guess just... Bye. See you,” Scrooge said.

Flinty almost turned back. What exactly he had felt was like a vague memory of a dream now, but...

He'd need to think about it on his own first.

So he stepped out of the office, and closed the door behind him.


Chapter Text


Johnny set down his newspaper and glanced at the two other ducks again. Something was going on there! Something was very very off!

True, Flinty and Scrooge were yelling at each other middle of the Billionaires Club. That was nothing out of the ordinary. And yet! Johnny almost wanted to believe he had imagined that smile Scrooge had given Glomgold just now...

Johnny watched Glomgold poke Scrooge with his cane as he flung an another insult at him. But the way Glomgold licked his bill as he did that made Johnny freeze.

That had been something he had done just before reaching to kiss Johnny-

“Can you believe those two?” Johnny asked. “One would think gentlemen of their age would know how to behave!”

“Indeed, Sir,” Jeeves agreed.

Johnny gritted his teeth. There was no doubt in his mind breaking things off with Flinty had been the right decision. The man was impossible enough as a business partner, let alone a romantic one!But Flinty and Scrooge?


“Maybe it would be for the best if we-”

Before Jeeves could finish Johnny grabbed his lapels and pulled him down into a kiss.

Or what was more accurately a disorganized collision of beak and lips.

At this point, as he heard the gasps, Johnny realized this had been a mistake. He closed his eyes, afraid to face reality. What had he been thinking? For a second he had just wanted to get back at the two old rich ducks, somehow, and-

Johnny opened his eyes to face Jeeves.


Oh no.

This had been a mistake. He had ruined everything. Ruined everything with Jeeves.

A realization hit Johnny like a brick.

He had really wanted to do this for a long time. But now everything was-

Johnny dashed to the door. He could hear voices calling after him but there was only one he really cared about.

“Sir! I'm sorry if I-”

Before Jeeves could catch up, Johnny escaped the club.


Chapter Text



The knock on Brigitta's window late in the evening was familiar.

She opened the window, and the figure dressed in all black stumbled in.

“Are you okay?”

Goldie staggered up. “I'm fine. Don't worry, I made sure I wasn't followed. Just close the window.”

“Who is it this time? The least you could do is tell me if I need to expect a visit from, I don't know. The International money council? Brutopian secret police? The monks of Tralla La?”

“Oh, but my impenetrable mystique is part of my charm, is it not?” Goldie purred, leaning close for a kiss. “Besides, we both know no one from Tralla La is coming after me. Not after the bottle-cap incident.”

Brigitta pulled back, denying the thief her kiss. She set a finger on her bill. “So, at least you seem to be well enough. What do you want?”

“Can't a girl just want to see her good, good friend?”

Brigitta gave her a look.

Goldie rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. A plan fell through, which led to other things falling through, mainly me. Through a greenhouse. Long story short, I got found out before I had time to get my plan into action so now I need a place to crash for a few days. I could have gone to a number of other safe houses-”

She draped herself over Brigitta. “But I missed yooou~”

Brigitta smiled. “You do know how to talk to a girl.”





Brigitta opened her eyes. Someone was moving in her bedroom.

It took her a second to realize who it was. The place on her bed next to her was empty.


Goldie, fully clothed, turned to look at her. “Shh, go back to sleep. It's 4 am.”

“Is that my coat?”

Goldie nodded. “I took some cash too, I'll pay it back. Sorry, something came up.”

Brigitta stood up. “You're leaving.”

“Sorry darling, gotta fly.” Goldie swept Brigitta into an embrace. “See you around.”

Brigitta pulled her into a kiss, and when Goldie tried to pull away, she resisted.

“Promise me you'll be back.” Brigitta smiled. “I expect to get the coat back.”

Goldie kissed Brigitta again. “Of course. When have I not kept my promise?”

“You don't want me to answer that.”

“Fine, fine. When have I not kept my promise when it matters?


Goldie opened the window and stepped onto the windowsill. “Take care.”

And with that, she disappeared into the night.


Chapter Text



Magica adjusted her tophat, grinning at the image of Scrooge McDuck in the mirror. It had been a week since she had switched bodies with the old coot and taken over his life. And she was getting bored. So! It was time to show she could be better at being Scrooge McDuck than Scrooge McDuck himself.

She adjusted her designer tux. The miser had never known how to enjoy life.





“O-oh! Scroogey!”

Magica smiled at Brigitta's surprise. “Good evening, Brigitta.”

She offered Brigitta the massive bouquet.


“I assigned my laboratories the task of creating a new genetically engineered species of roses and named it after you. Do you like them? Not only is the colour exactly like your hair, the texture is based on your feathers.”


Magica gestured at the truck reversing onto Brigitta's driveway. “That's not all.”

Brigitta stared at the pile of jewelry dumped on her garden. “What?”

She set her hand on Magica's forehead. “Are you ill?”

“No, Brigitta.” Magica took her hand. “I have just come to a realization. I really have been treating you horribly for years. But I am turning my life around.”


Magica laid a kiss on her hand. “I promise to do better from now on. Driver! Take us to the fanciest restaurant in Duckburg.”

“I had just made dinner, but... Scroogey, we can't just leave a pile of... those aren't real diamonds, right? We can't just leave a pile of gems on my petunias.”

“Eh, if someone steals them I'll just buy you more. Would you like some chocolate?”

Brigitta cracked a shaky smile. “Oh, thank you.”

“Splendid. What's your favourite animal?”

Brigitta blinked in confusion. “Oh. Hm. I like cats.”

Magica pulled out a phone. “Hello, Ms Quackfaster? Find the biggest chocolate factory you can and buy it. And then have it sculpt a ten-feet tall chocolate cat for Ms MacBridge.”

“That's really too much...”

“Correction, nine-feet tall cat. But make two of them. One of them should have a tophat and they should be kissing. I don't care if it's expensive I'm filthy rich.”

She closed her phone and offered her arm to Brigitta. “Shall we go?”




“-and that's why I started to reconsider my business plan,” Brigitta explained. “I wanted to make clothes for all sizes and bodytypes and more importantly to make it affordable. It's so difficult to find nice clothes sometimes when everything seems to be designed for tall dognoses-”

Magica nodded. She had almost forgotten to eat her ridiculously expensive French food. “That's a wonderful idea. You could probably use funding.”

“Yes, but...”

“Say no more, it's as good as done.” Se pulled out her checkbook. “Is two million dollars enough to get you started?”

“Scrooge, dear...” Brigitta gave her a look. “This is all rather... Fast.”

“I want to fix my past mistakes,” Magica told her. “I am done wasting time. Neither of us is getting any younger.”

“You're right. Scroogey-woogey, did something happen? Lately?”

Magica shrugged. “I was struck with cupid's arrow. No-”

She took Brigitta's hand and stared deep into her eyes. How had Scrooge just strung her along all these years? Hadn't he realized what he had had?

“I fell in love with you as soon as I met you all those years ago. But I was a fool and refused to accept it. Can you ever forgive me?” Magica figured she should try to keep up the ruse.

Think of what Scrooge would say if he wasn't a complete greedy dumbass who wouldn't recognize romance if it bit him in the tailfeathers and ran away with his Dime.

“I was so preoccupied with the riches and gold-things I could find in the mines I never stopped to realize the greatest treasure of a gold nugget was always next to me, waiting for me to come around. It was you. You are the gold nugget.”

“Oh, Scroogey-woogey that is the nicest thing you have said to me.” Brigitta smiled. “And thank you for taking me to such a nice restaurant. Have you tried escargot à l'ail yet?”




“Uncle Scrooge? Are you okay?”

Magica stretched on her platinum lawn chair and turned to look at Donald. “Of course. Care for a swim?”

“Um... What is that... In the swimming pool?”

“A bath. Of quail egg whites. I figured it might be good for your feathers since it's so expensive. Turns out it's more sticky. Want to emulate the lifestyle of the filthy rich? Or at least the latter part? Take a dip.”

Donald made a gagging sound. “Uncle Scrooge, some of the family are getting a bit worried over your... recent behaviour.”

“I'm perfectly fine!” she snapped. She hit Donald with her cane. “Get a job you loafer!”

“Wak! I already work for you!”

“Get an another job then! When I was a child back in Klondike I had to keep three jobs just to buy enough water to brush my teeth!”

“Yes, Uncle Scrooge. But speaking of my job, I brought you the legal papers you wanted to sign.”

“Eh, I've decided all that business stuff is boring.”


“And what is it good for anyway?” Magica asked. “For making even more money? Hmph I got enough for a lifetime.”

“Not if things keep going like they're going,” a voice interrupted.

Magica turned to Ms Quackfaster. “Hm?”

“What's come over you, Mr McDuck? You've spent more money in the last week than in the past seventy years! And you're losing more billions every day by neglecting your businesses!”

“So what?”

“You'll be bankrupt in six months unless you do something!”

That startled Magica. “W-what? I don't like the sound of that...” She grinned. “Luckily I have a solution.” She stood up. “Come with me, Donald, we're going on a trip.”

“Where, Uncle Scrooge?”

Donald watched Magica walk to the dome holding the number one dime.

“What are you planning to do with it?”

“None of your business.”

Magica stopped next to the dime. “I forgot how to get this thing open. Open it.”

“Uncle Scrooge? No... it's not really you, is it..?”

“Listen, you open this dome right now when I'm still the richest duck in the world and can use it to make myself the amulet that gives me the Midas touch!”

Donald gasped. “Y-you really are Magica! Brigitta was right!”

“Brigitta?” Magica's stomach lurched.

She had no time to process the feeling of betrayal as Donald pulled out something and a spray of something hit her face.


She laughed. “Fool! I'm not magical in this body!”

“But I bet you can still be stopped by this!” a bizarrely familiar voice called out.

And when Magica twirled around she came face to face with a very familiar face.

“Scrooge!” she hissed. “How did you get in?”

Scrooge smiled, twisting Magica's face into a grin both familiar and odd. He brandished the futuristic looking device he was holding. “I got help.”

Magica watched Brigitta step to the room.

She gave Magica an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I could tell you weren't really him. It were the... little things.”

“She painted the Money Bin pure black!” Scrooge pointed out. “And threw Fabergé eggs at random passersby who had hairstyles she disapproved of!”

“Little things that sort of piled up.”

Magica decided to take her chance and lunged at Scrooge. Before she got to him she was hit with a beam of light and everything went dark.




Magica opened her eyes. The sky. She was looking at the sky.

A blonde head came to view. “Are you awake?”


Something was wrong with her voice. It was her own voice. Why was that weird?

Brigitta gave her an apologetic smile. “I couldn't let you do it.”

“When did you figure it out?” Magica struggled up from the bush she was tangled up on for some reason.

“I knew something was off immediately. But I wasn't sure if he was just a bit unwell or under some kinda generosity spell. But I managed to locate Scrooge, and got him some help from Gyro... He had been working on something called a personality-relocator for his insect psychoanalysis project, so-”

“The miser switched us back and dumped me into the park.” Magica finished her sentence. “Fine! An another brilliant plan foiled. Hope you're happy!” She gave Brigitta a look.

“Why are you here anyway?”

“I wanted to make sure you're okay. And let you know I enjoyed our date.”

Her bill quickly brushed Magica's in a soft kiss. “Next time, come as you are. Promise?”

Magica watched her stand up and walk away. “Oh. Oh. Sure.”

She nodded. “Promise.”







Chapter Text


“My dear brother, you see...” Glomgold took out his handkerchief and pretended to wipe away a tear. “It's very difficult to talk about this...”

Or rather, he was evaluating Gideon's reactions to figure out just what kind of a bullshit story he should feed him.

Gideon nodded. “My condolences. Was it sudden?”

“Yes, for me at least. My poor brother had been ill for some time but kept it from us. I still wonder if things had gone differently, if I would have just talked to dear Goldheart...”

“That can be difficult.” Gideon gave Flinty a look. “Do you know my brother?”

“I think it's best for me to be honest with you,” Flinty said. “I know your brother Scrooge very well.”

Gideon leaned back in his chair. “I see.”

“I wasn't planning to keep it from you,” Flinty said. That was even true. It was too likely Gideon knew full well they were at least business partners or competitors. But hopefully the reporter now believed he had uncovered his secret. “I'll be honest with you. I and your brother have not always seen eye to eye. We both have done some unfortunate things. But I am trying to make amends.”

“So you have come to me? Why?”

“To figure out if I should.” Flinty waved his hands. “Scrooge McDuck is... A complicated man.”

“That's one way to put it.”

Glomgold resisted the urge to smile at the bitterness in Gideon's voice. There was something there he could use...

“Lot of the things I have seen him do worry me,” Glomgold said. He reached closer and let out a sigh. “You're so different from him...”

Gideon frowned. “So I've heard.”

Glomgold gritted his teeth. Had that been the wrong approach? He had assumed Gideon would not be happy with comparisons to his brother.

Flinty took a step towards the editor-in-chief. “Maybe I'm just trying to figure some things out.”

A plan was starting to form in his mind. He'd take everything from Scrooge McDuck. Use his family against him. And he'd start with Gideon...

“So many things feel complicated now. Different-” Glomgold reached a hand to stroke his cheek. “This is the first time I have wanted to kiss a McDuck,” he lied.

He could feel Gideon tense but he didn't pull away.


“Would you like me to kiss you?”

“Was I obvious?” Gideon asked.

“Hm? No, not at all...”

Of course Flinty had the benefit of having ordered a full background check on Gideon. So he had known about the two or three past boyfriends the man had had.

Gideon nodded. “Though this is a bad idea.”

Glomgold also knew it was likely he had not dated in years, his life filled with long days at the office. He softly brushed against Gideon's bill in invitation and the other duck deepened it into a kiss.

Glomgold pulled back but stayed close to Gideon. “Maybe. I don't know what I'm doing. Looking for any way to start anew, I think... I didn't come here looking for this, but...”

“Hm. A proper date perhaps?” Gideon suggested. “After work. We can just see where it goes?”

Glomgold nodded, his mind already at work, going through the different possible outcomes and how he could best benefit from them. “I'd like that.”


Chapter Text




Sometimes, Webby can feel a presence just behind her.

Ever since the fight with Magica. Maybe she is being paranoid, maybe it's some leftover demon the dark magic unleashed at the manor had pulled out. She should tell her grandma.

And yet she doesn't.

Because it feels familiar. Kind.

And she is afraid her grandma would panic and tear the presence away from her.

And she'd lose something precious.

So this is why Webby now, in the darkness of her room, lights a candle and looks at the book she has taken from the library. She looked around there and even went through apart of Scrooge's collection of magical objects. Ouija boards. Haunted dolls that'd invite spirits to posses them. A cursed mirror that could be used to call on ghosts. Dice recovered from the ship of the Flying Dutchman that the cursed captain had used to play with the Devil.

But Webby has decided against all of these. Because she has a feeling she knows what the presence is.

Or is it merely hope?

So that's why Webby now pulls out a book titled '1001 shadow puppets - Fun for all ages'

In the dim light of the candle she starts with page 4.

"A dove," she says, feeling a bit silly as she projects the bird on the wall.

She waves the shadow dove's wings a bit and gives her best dove impression. "Kruu kruu."

She can feel something...

Next, she tries a rabbit.

"Hello, hello it's me, mister Rabbit from the book."

She decides to experiment a bit and twists her hand so the rabbit on the wall morphs into a vague dog shape. "Oh no, it's the Ma Beagle." She tries to mimic her. "Hm hm I'm mean and it's my birthday. I sure hope there are no trespassers here. My boys would chase them. Even if they're British. British little ducks would get extra chased!"

She almost feels something now. Someone is definitely there with her. But this time, not behind her.

Instead, the presence is on the wall, there where her shadow hangs.

Webby swallows. She is as still as she can. And it feels like the shadow dog is still moving. Maybe it is all an illusion caused by the tiny dancing flame.

She almost speaks but afraid it's too soon, so she returns to the book and looks through it.

"This one's a- a dinosaur. I think it's cute."

And the silhouette needs a bit more work, but it can be turned into a duck...

Webby stares at the shadow on the wall. She wiggles her fingers, making the shadow duck open and close her mouth. And she imagines the familiar smile on that shadow beak.

And now Webby speaks:


She can feel something.

She stares at the duck shadow on the wall next to her own shadow, and tries to convince herself it's all in her imagination. That the form hasn't shifted to look exactly like her friend. She couldn't take it if she was wrong and got her hopes up-

Webby realizes she has set her hands down.

And the shadow-Lena is still on the wall.

"Lena? It's you, isn't it? Lena I wanted to, I..." Webby stops, uncertain what it was she wanted.

She stares at the two shadows.

"It's you, isn't it? Lena..."

As an answer, the shadow that looks so much like her now moves on the wall.

And softly touches Webby's shadow with its bill in a chaste kiss.

And at that moment Webby realizes exactly what it is she wanted to tell her friend. What it is she wants.

No words come out, but they are no longer needed as she finally allows herself to cry.


Chapter Text



The first time they kiss is beautiful. Momentous. Brigitta will never forget the feeling in her stomach as she stares Goldie in the eye. The realization. The question bubbling to the surface.

How her bill meeting Goldie's answers all of those questions.

This kiss changes her life.


The second time they kiss is more awkward. It comes after a long serious talk about what this all means for them. After Brigitta has told Goldie she doesn't know how she feels about Scrooge anymore. This kiss is soft, and full of uncertainty, and ends with a quiet “So what do you want to do now?”


The fifth time they kiss Brigitta learns she quite enjoys the feeling of Goldie's bill on her bare shoulders.


The twelfth time, (and Brigitta keeps count, hoarding the memories of kisses to dwell on later), Brigitta takes Goldie's hand, and after a moment's hesitation plants a kiss on her hand. It is too soon to kiss her on the mouth in a semi-public event like this. But she yearns to.


The fifty-seventh kiss they share is accompanied with goodbyes and promises they'd meet again soon. Maybe in a month when the tourist season is over and the business at Goldie's hotel is more quiet. Brigitta keeps thinking back to this kiss, so terrified it will be their last.


The fifty-eighth kiss is a hasty smash of two beaks in joy as soon as Brigitta steps off the plane.


The sixtieth kiss is blown at Brigitta across the hall during a musical number. Brigitta giggles like a school girl as she mimes catching it from the air.


Brigitta is not sure anymore which number this kiss is, but it is given as an answer when Goldie asks her to stay in Dawson to help her with the hotel.


This kiss is sleepily given in the morning as they wake up. Brigitta has long since stopped trying to catalog and hoard every single memory of every single kiss. This is a kiss born out of habit, a moment they share every morning before starting the day. The different morning kisses all blend together.


But that is just perfect.


Chapter Text



Glomgold had always had a feeling that when he'd die Scrooge would be there. Wasn't it fitting? That death would take them together?

What he hadn't expected was that the whole world would end with them.

Sure, in hindsight, using the gold magnet to attract a giant golden comet to Earth had been a bad idea.

Just too bad they had both been so wrapped up in their competition they had realized it too late.

“Not long now. All we can do is hope that Donald manages to stop it in time.” Scrooge removed his jacket. “It's getting hotter.”

He sat next to Glomgold.

“So it's all up to your nephew?”

Scrooge let out a sigh. “Anything you'd like to say, Flinty? Any confessions?”

“What are you blathering on about?”

Scrooge leaned in closer. “I have just sometimes wondered...”

He lifted a hand to stroke Flinty's cheek. “It's all going to be over, now... Why keep secrets at this point?”

Glomgold froze.

Is he going to kiss me?

The thought was ridiculous. And yet, the way Scrooge was moving closer-

“What are you doing, McDuck?”

Scrooge stopped, their bills barely touching. “I'm trying to kiss you. I figured the moment was right and even if it isn't it's not like there's going to be all that many moments left so even a bad moment will do-”

Glomgold pushed him away. “How dare you.”

Scrooge frowned. “You don't want to?”

“Of course I do not! What ever gave you the idea I am a- that I ever would want to- NO! I always knew you were a disgusting little thing, McDuck, but this is a new low even for you!”

An unreadable emotion flashed on Scrooge's features. “You-”

A sound of static interrupted him. “Uncle Scrooge?”

Scrooge fumbled for the walkie talkie. “D-donald?”

“I did it!”

“You a what now?”

“We stopped the comet! Gyro's machine came through! We-”


Glomgold watched a smile spread on Scrooge's bill as he replied to his nephew.


Flinty had been fine with it. When the world was ending. But now-

He suddenly couldn't stand the thought of life continuing, with Scrooge under the impression he thought of him with disgust. Not like that.


“Hm? I think we can just forget all about the-”

“No. I am- Scrooge, I wasn't... It wasn't completely true. What I said.”

Glomgold pulled Scrooge closer. “It wasn't true at all really. You were right.”

He gently brushed against Scrooge's bill in nervous invitation.

An invitation that Scrooge took eagerly.

We have to keep going. The world will keep existing after we step out of this office, and this happened.

Flinty was pulled into an embrace and it at least for the moment felt all right.

We just got to live with this.


Chapter Text



"Witch attack! Witch attack!" Donald yelled as he ran to the office.

Miss Quackfaster took her position and hid behind her desk.

Magica's laugh echoed in the office.

Scrooge ran past Miss Quackfaster's desk and slammed the office door shut. "Reinforced steel! She shouldn't be able to get through-"

With a flash the door was gone. Scrooge ran to the pedestal holding his dime. Donald picked up the nearest object he could use as a weapon. It turned out to be a typewriter.

"Buongiorno!" Magica greeted Miss Quackfaster as she strolled into the office, a new wand raised.

Quackfaster nodded. "Good morning."

Magica stood a bit straighter and flashed a charming smile at the secretary.

Scrooge, somewhat annoyed at being ignored, cried out, hugging his Number One Dime in its dome: "You witch! What do you want?"

Magica turned towards him. "A bscessio tempora!"

A flash from the wand hit Scrooge. And he was gone.

"Uncle Scrooge!" Donald cried out, dropping the typewriter. He leapt at Magica. "What did you-"

An another flash hit him and he disappeared, mid-air.

"Oh!" Quackfaster gasped.

Magica lifted her wand to her bill and blew on it, pretending to blow off smoke. "They're fine, Emily. This wand sends anything it hits to the future. Just two minutes into the future though, so I apologize, I have no time for chit chat-"

She took a step towards the dime. Quackfaster moved between her and her target.

Magica frowned. "Sorry, but like I said, I'm in a hurry."

The steel door reappeared behind her. She raised her wand and pointed it at the secretary. "Absce-"

Quackfaster caught her by the shoulders and pulled her into a kiss. Magica returned it, and-


Quackfaster let go of Magica to see her boss returned. That meant-

She took a step back, just in time to avoid being hit by Donald who reappeared in a flash.

"-do to him!?" Donald finished his question as he wrestled Magica into the ground.

He turned to look at Scrooge. "Oh! Uncle Scrooge! You're back!"

Scrooge snatched the wand away from Magica and snapped it in two. "What? I was gone?"

Taking advantage of Donald being distracted, Magica kicked him off and jumped up.

She dashed to the door. "You win this time! But-"

She stopped. The locked steel door was back.

"Erm. Little help here?"






Ratface watched his boss be kicked out of the bin. It had worked about as well as he had expected.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am!" Magica snapped, struggling up from the bush she had landed in. "That miser! He could have at least let me have a dignified exit!"

"Hm. So no dime?"

Ratface had of course seen what had happened from his position just outside the office window. But he wasn't quite sure if he should point out the reason she had lost this time.

"I almost had it! If it wasn't for that useless sailor of a duck I'd have my dime in my clutches right now!"

"Did you see your girlfriend?" Ratface couldn't help asking.

"Oh? Hm? Who? Oh, Emily. Yes I think she was there. Not sure. I was busy with work."

"I see. Is your date this Saturday still on?"

Magica gave him a look. "Why wouldn't it be?" She shrugged. "Work is work. I'm fully capable of keeping it separate from my love life."

Ratface nodded. "Of course." He pointed out: "I think she's waving you goodbye at the office window."

Magica straightened her skirt and quickly brushed her hair. She turned towards the bin.

She shook her fist. "Curse you McDuck! I'll be back!"

She opened her fist into a wave and mouthed 'bye' with a smile.

Ratface sighed. This was all a huge mess.

Then again, not more than Magica's schemes or her love life usually were.


Chapter Text



Johnny stretched. “Come to bed already...”

Flinty mumbled something in reply, before climbing to bed and settling next to him.

“When I said 'come to bed' I meant 'leave your work behind'”

Flinty glanced up from the contract he had been going through. He almost snapped at Johnny. The familiar snide remarks about this being why the younger man was still only the third richest duck almost slipped out before he hesitated.

But why was he hesitating anyway?

“You have been going through that for hours,” Johnny pointed out. “Do you think the text will magically morph into something else if you glare at it long enough?”

“There might be something I missed.” Glomgold added: “You go to sleep then.”

“While you're keeping me up with all the noise you make?”

Glomgold frowned. There it was again. That hesitation.

He almost suggested Johnny would go back to his own bed but what if he actually did that?

Flinty reached to kiss him. “It won't be for long. Good night.”


Flinty watched Johnny close his eyes.

He returned to his work. Johnny had been right though. He was just rereading this one page again and again, making no progress.

In fact, their plan had not made any progress in days. Flinty decided to be brutally honest with himself. He was enjoying staying in Johnny's mansion as a guest. And it was interfering with his decisions.

With his business.

Flinty set the papers and his glasses down on the nightstand and turned the light off.

He sat still in the darkened quest bedroom, listening to the peaceful breathing of the other duck.

He had to admit he had grown used to him. It was nice staying here with him. And of course he was saving money on food...

Flinty laid down next to him.

He'd think about this all later.


Chapter Text



“Your coat, Sir.”

Johnny froze at Jeeves offering the coat to him.

He had done this countless times before. But it was all completely different now. Ever since the kiss and the confessions of love and everything that had come after.

“Is something wrong, Johnny?” Jeeves asked.

Johnny noted the clear pause before 'Johnny'.

“No. No nothing is wrong at all. Terry.” Johnny had a feeling that had come out much more pointed than he had intended. Calling the other man by his first name felt still so weird to him. “I was just, thinking. This should be your free time.”

An unreadable expression flashed on Jeeves's face. “It was a slip of a tongue.” An uncertain smile spread on his lips. “I have been calling you 'Sir' or 'Boss' for a long time. And, well. I am still your secretary.”

“Yes, but it never was a secretary's job to get his boss's coat anyway,” Johnny pointed out.

“You can't reach your coat.”

“Well then maybe it shouldn't be hung so high up I can't even get to it!”

Johnny snatched his coat from the taller man and glanced around for a more fitting place for it. Maybe he could just keep it on the sofa.

It was starting to dawn on Johnny just how much he relied on Jeeves even outside of work.

He really had become such a large part of his life without Johnny even noticing until they were basically living together.

Actual dating had felt like such an obvious next step.

But now-

A hand brushed his cheek.

“I didn't really mean anything by it. Calling you Sir.”

Johnny leaned into his touch and let out a soft quack. “No. But is getting my coat really something my boyfriend should do?”

“Why not?”

“Not just that. Just... Lot of things... Lot of small things.”

“I'm used to doing them.” Jeeves paused. He continued, sounding uncertain: “Although maybe I should. Not.” He let out a laugh. “But let's face it, I already do much more than any secretary should.”


Johnny almost suggested he'd hire more staff, but maybe Jeeves would misunderstand? Think he wasn't appreciated? But maybe at least Jeeves could use an assistant himself.

Johnny looked up and gestured at Jeeves to bend down within kissing distance. Instead, the dognose scooped the short duck up and into an embrace.

Johnny let out a surprised quack that quickly turned into a giggle.

“We should be going,” he reminded Jeeves.

“Mm-hmm.” Jeeves mumbled in agreement as he kissed his boyfriend softly.

Johnny returned the kiss, burying his fingers into his partner's hair. He was getting used to this definitely... And had all kinds of ideas he'd like to try out...

But later. Johnny pulled out of the kiss and Jeeves set him down.

Things would have to change now to some extent. And the occasional knot in his stomach reminded Johnny how scary it was.

But more and more the fear was being replaced by excitement.


Chapter Text


“Hi,” Roberta smiled as she stepped into Magica's cottage. She bent down to nuzzle her girlfriend's beak in greeting. “Getting ready for Halloween?”

Magica turned away and lifted a hand to fix her hair. “Yes.”

That was technically true. Not even just technically, really.

She retreated from the door. “My cottage is a mess,” she mumbled. “I was brewing a horror potion, but can't find Lily-of-the-valley-of-death anywhere.”

“Planning for anything specific?” Roberta asked. She looked thoughtful. “Lily-of-the-valley-of-death? So that would be... for a potion that turns every costume real?”

“Yes!” Magica laughed. Her best witchy cackle. She knew Roberta found it cute. “It will surely get me the number one place in the witch council Halloween competition!”

That and likely a certain dime.

But it felt like it was a better idea to focus on the non-dime part of her plan for now. Somehow. Actually, maybe she could just not put her plan into action in Duckburg..?

But this was such a wonderful opportunity!

However, Magica decided to at least pretend the dime couldn't be further from her mind.

Roberta walked to the bookcase. She took a random book and leafed through it absentmindedly. “Magica, maybe you could... maybe we could take the Halloween off.”

“What? But witches always work on-”

Roberta set the book down and pulled Magica into an embrace. “Yes exactly. Halloween is always so busy for witches... But I've been working hard on developing this computer virus that turns any infected iPads into pineapple pizza slices... For true horror for the modern age. I'm near a breakthrough but could take a break. A holiday. Preferable somewhere without pizza or pineapple.”

Magica nuzzled against the sharper beak. “Hmm-mmh.”

She sighed and pulled back. “I sort of really need this. My position as the treasurer in the Weird, Interesting and Terrible Council for Hags is looking shakier and shakier. I haven't gotten enough done. Not enough progress. Last meeting Mrs Grumbleroot gave me an evil eye. Just one! I like my Corpseberry tea with three pieces of sugar and two evil eyes and she knows that.”

“Ah. I see.”

Magica almost expected Roberta to bring up the dime and her girlfriend's (so far!) unsuccessful attempts at getting it to her nicely manicured clutches.

But she did not.

Magica clasped her hands. “But! I haven't tried this potion in a while!”

“So, are you planning to target a specific city?” Roberta asked.

“Well, costumes, all that, it's big in the...”

Quick Magica think of a city that's not Duckburg.

“Omelet. Which is definitely a real place I once visited. I visited that place once and it sucked. Tried to buy an... omelet. They yelled at me and chased me from town.”

“Well, I could help you with the potion... With the mix of my techno-magic and the effects of the potion we could do wonderful things together... Maybe we could create an army of cyborg dream-stealers, ah but we need some tapirs for that-”

Magica patted her shoulder. “You yourself said you needed a holiday.”


Uh oh. That tone sounded way too serious. It was giving flashbacks to Magica to the last time they had broken up.

Roberta standing there middle of the mess Magica had made trying to brew a potion for a scheme against Scrooge. Instead of scolding Magica over forgetting their date just giving her that serious look. Opening her mouth to let the words 'Magica, we can't keep doing this' out-

But this time it'd be fine! Magica hadn't even mentioned the dime to Roberta once! Things were going well!

“Hmm what?”

Roberta gave her an odd look. “This is just about the W.I.T.C.H. council, right?”

Great, Roberta was also specifically avoiding talking about the dime. They were clearly on the same page.

Magica pulled her girlfriend into a kiss.

“Of course,” she lied.

Roberta relaxed, nuzzling against the shorter witch before deepening the kiss.

Magica was fairly certain Roberta knew it was a lie anyway so it was all fine.

Besides, this scheme was foolproof anyway, so the day after this Halloween Magica would have the dime and Roberta and the W.I.T.C.H. council and everyone else would see she had been right all along.

And then she could give Roberta everything she wanted.

Everything she deserved.

And everything would be perfect.


Chapter Text


Flintheart played with Johnny's lapels, pulling the collar back in place. His fingers lingered on the high quality fabric and traveled downwards, until they brushed against the flower set in the button hole. Flintheart frowned. A fresh flower. A fresh, exotic, expensive flower.

Johnny gently grasped his hand. ”Do you like it?”

Flintheart let out an uninterested huff.

Johnny brought Flinty's hand to his bill and placed a soft kiss on his fingers. ”I get them from a private greenhouse that specializes in only the most exotic and rare specimens.” A soft smile played on his bill. ”It's a bargain.”

Flintheart was certain it wouldn't be, not by his standards. But he wondered if the younger man wanted him to ask just how much he had paid for it, even knowing his reaction.

Flintheart stared deep into Johnny's eyes-

The potted plant in the corner shook and a dirt-covered figure stood up.


Flintheart and Johnny stared at Scrooge.

John was the first one to gather his thoughts. ”This... is my house.”

Scrooge looked around, as if only now realizing where he was standing. ”Oh? Look at that, you're right!”

”This... is my bedroom,” Johnny felt the need to clarify.

Scrooge stepped out of the plant and tipped his hat. Even more dirt fell on his face. ”An astute observation, for once, you upstart. Anyway I'll be on my way then, this seems to be my ride-”

And he jumped out of the window and ran into the night.


Chapter Text



Donald slipped under the covers in the dark. He was greeted by his two boyfriends cuddling closer to him for warmth.

Maybe them having the money to only stay in the most rundown hovels was a blessing in disguise.

Donald couldn't resist the temptation to gripe a bit, however: ”Joe, I thought you said you knew the owner. Couldn't you ask your dear friend to come fix the lights? Maybe even the heating?”

The warm form next to him moved, and Donald could feel a tentative bill touch inviting him into a kiss. So. José was trying to shut him up with makeouts?

Not that Donald minded at all.

But as he brushed his bill against the unexpectedly rough and sharp surface it became obvious this was his other traveling companion.

Donald smiled in the dark as he ran his beak on his before slightly pursing his beak to place a soft kiss on Panchito's cheek.

”Considering how most of José's 'dear old friends' have welcomed him I think our best bet is to hide him in the luggage or maybe throw him out of the window before-”

”Hey!” the parrot protested. ”I don't even owe any money to the owner of this fine establishment. I think. And what do I hear? My two best friends, my trusted companions, conspiring against poor old me?”

”Exactly,” Donald said.

”We were just making plans to throw you out of the window,” Panchito added. ”Oumph-”

José wedged himself between them. ”You definitely need some lessons in subterfuge. Talking about your ghastly plan right next to your dear sweet unsuspecting victim. A suggestion! You should gently kiss the innocent naive parrot to hopefully make him forget all about this.”

”I see!” Panchito said, his grin clearly audible. ”And then once he falls asleep, then we can throw him out of the window!”

Donald found José's beak and brushed against it with a quiet quack. The tip of Panchito's beak poked at him.

”Oh dear friends...” José sighed theatrically. ”You must do much more than kissing to tire me out enough to sleep through that~


Chapter Text

Flintheart pulled out his handkerchief to wipe his bill clean. ”An adequate meal. My compliments to the chef.”

”Thank you!” came from the kitchen.

Both Scrooge and Flintheart ignored him.

The date Flintheart had been invited to had turned out to be just Scrooge dragging him to his nephew's house at dinnertime and then ushering Donald and the three kids out of sight.

He stood up, slightly nervous this was some scheme to make him pay for the dinner anyway. ”I really should be going-”

”Already?” Scrooge said. ”I'm pretty sure Donald has some pudding in the fridge-”

An increasingly annoyed voice called out: ”Only enough for four and oops I just sneezed on it what a shame-”

Flintheart frowned. ”So this is your plan? Invite me on a 'date' and then feed me some germs directly from your nephew's sinuses to give me some superflu to make me take time off work?”

Scrooge stared at him. ”No.”

Flintheart sighed. ”Well maybe you should have taken the opportunity to slow down your competition, old man.”

Scrooge smiled. He gently brushed his bill with his. ”Maybe.”


Chapter Text

Donald ran his fingers on the smooth bill, focusing on the feeling on his fingertips. Gladstone's bill felt different to his touch than his own (or Daisy's-)

Well that wasn't a trail of thought he was interested in following as he was making out with his cousin in the closet.

Donald pressed down with his thumb, maybe a bit harsher than necessary, and the beak bent under his hand, a bit less pliant than his own.

Gladstone let out a throaty gasp, but didn't say anything. Donald wondered how long he could keep doing this before he'd say something stupid and ruin the mood.

He moved his other hand to his partner's chin and gently rubbed the underside of his bill. Only as he was doing it it occurred to him this was what he had always done with José. The parrot had always let out that wonderful throaty purr when he did...

Gladstone, instead, moved his head to guide Donald's hand towards the tip of his bill.

But there was some kind of an appeal for Donald to thinking back to his (admittedly few) previous partners.

And how Gladstone was nothing like them.

José's bill had always felt the most different to him, with its more uneven texture and tantalizing scent it left on Donald's fingers. Donald had never asked what it was, if it was perfume of if he put some oils or wax on it... Gladstone did, Donald knew that, and the fruity smell was thick on Donald's fingertips after every one of their makeout sessions.

Donald moved his thumb to the tip of Gladstone's bill.

Panchito's beak had felt like something that was originally smooth and tough, but worn down by a harsh outdoors life that had left numerous chips and scratches on it. José had once tried to share his bill-care routine with him but that had ended in a row after Panchito had slathered half of some of José's most expensive beauty product on his feet.

Gladstone licked his bill and his tongue softly brushed against Donald's finger.

Donald gasped.

Finally Gladstone spoke up. ”Aren't you actually going to-”

Donald shut him up with a kiss.


Chapter Text

”Scroogey dear...” Magica took a step towards her rival. ”It doesn't have to be like this.”

Scrooge didn't back down even as the sorceress inched closer, until her bill almost touched his.

The billionaire didn't bother to protest or point out that the witch had been driven into a corner and had even used up all of his foof bombs. She had lost.

Magica reached a finger to stroke the underside of Scrooge's beak. ”Just think of all the things we could do. Together...

At that, Scrooge smiled. If she thought their new, changed relationship meant she would get to keep his dime...

But at least now he knew what her game was. So when she pursed her bill and reached closer he approached her in a kiss.

And jumped back as Magica blew air into his mouth.

”Got you!” Magica grinned, showing off the dime in her grasp. ”Say bye bye to your little-”

She avoided the billionaire as he leaped at her.

Magica dashed away cackling, Scrooge in close pursuit.


Chapter Text



Daisy reached closer to Della, so close they were almost touching beaks as they laid on the bed. Daisy fluttered her eyelashes and Della was mesmerized.

Della didn't think she had ever really paid much attention to eyelashes before Daisy. She herself had never been particularly feminine and didn't bother much with... (here Della's knowledge on makeup failed her and she finished the thought with 'eye make-up stuff')

And yeah, eyelashes were attractive on a lot of women, but she hadn't really paid that much attention to them or thought about the craft behind it.

Until she had caught all those looks Daisy gave her. And suddenly she had become very interested in the delightfully seductive art of teasing glances through those lashes-

Even now, with her make-up washed off, Daisy's dark thick lashes still curved over her eyes in a way that felt positively tantalizing-

Daisy reached even closer and had the audacity to wink.

Della giggled as Daisy reached to tease her cheeck with fluttering butterfly kisses.


Chapter Text



”But Scrooge!” Ludwig gestured at his presentation. ”I just finished explaining to you why this research is vital!

Scrooge gave him a look. ”Ludwig. I am not funding your little trip to Azerbaijan just so you can go gawk at some beetles-”

”To document the mating behavior of the rare Khinalugian spotted stink beetle and it's eusocial-”

”Exactly what I said,” Scrooge interrupted him.

He pulled the other duck into an embrace. ”Oh don't look at me like that. I'm sure a brilliant scientist like you has other projects in mind.”

Ludwig lifted a bushy eyebrow. ”Ones with more potential for monetization, perhaps?”

”I never said that,” Scrooge told him, before bringing their beaks together.

After all, kisses were free.


Chapter Text



It was first little more than a collision of beaks as the exhausted inventor jumped into the arms of his boyfriend as soon as he walked into his workshop.

Launchpad wrapped his arms around Gyro. ”You okay? You've been cooped up here all week-”

Gyro let out a groan as he buried his beak in Launchpad's neck fluff. Launchpad bent down to give his shorter boyfriend better access.

Gyro moved his beak to his, placing a series of soft kisses on Launchpad's bill until deepening the kiss.

Finally, he pulled away for breath, still tightly wrapped around the pilot. ”Just tired.”

Launchpad didn't seem to be in any hurry to let go either. ”You should rest. Take a nap. You know what they say; never invent tired or on an empty stomach.”

Gyro nodded, loosening his hold. ”Once I finish this project...”


Chapter Text



”Magica. When have you last taken a nap?”

Magica ignored her girlfriend and instead turned back to her work. ”No time... I have the greatest plan to- to finally get one over on the old moneybags.” She frowned. ”As soon as I... figure out the right mixture to-” she yawned- ”To make this gold allergy potion... Roberta, where is my wand charger I think this one is out of juice- Or is my crystal ball infected with malware gremlins again-”

”Magica, my little hemlock bun-” Roberta wrapped her arms around the shorter witch who did relax slightly.

Roberta buried her beak in the black hair. ”You're not going to figure out the answer today.”

”Hmm but I might...” Magica turned to face her, all the while leaning further into her embrace. ”I am so close...”

Roberta slightly touched her bill with hers and with a sigh Magica took the invitation, running her softer duck bill on her sharper beak. Roberta turned her head slightly to guide Magica's soft kisses along her beak and eventually on her cheek.

Roberta held her. It was clear the shorter witch was almost falling asleep on her arms.

”Mhhh I can still work-”

”Magica, you have been trying to use a spatula for at least ten minutes to change the channel on your crystal ball.”

Magica stared at the kitchen utensil in her hand. ”Oh. Wait where did I put my wand...”

Roberta took her hand. ”We can find it later. For now. A nap.”

Magica leaned on her and let her lead her to the bedroom. ”Maybe you have a point...”