Elee had never been a nurturing, maternal sort. If a friend was upset, she'd slap them on the back and tell them to get over it. If someone was crying, she'd turn in the opposite direction. If she somehow ended up holding a baby--
Whatever semblance of a protective instinct Elee had manifested as violence instead. When she found herself traveling with three children-- and she did often find herself thinking of them as children, never mind that Hopper and even Xoc could be considered young men and Misha was probably centuries old-- she realized she'd fight to protect them. She'd kill to protect them. This instinct wasn't a tender thing, nothing that should be seen by a baby.
But somehow, in Fasten, Elee found herself with a baby in her arms again, and she was determined to do things right. She hummed gently and dangled the shiny baubles on her hat for it to play with and let herself believe that if she had a chance to go back, she would hold her own baby the same way.