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we took it slow but i fell faster

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can yuo come ovre? pleass, hyung


Okay, so here's the thing. Taehyung would definitely not be this freaked out of his pants if it wasn't for the last word, that one god damn syllable he is reading and rereading over and over again (more than actually necessary), eyes running through letters without the brain comprehending. The other never calls him that.

And to be honest, the amount of typos Jeongguk managed to commit in six words is also risky to perceive either as a drunk dullness causing the younger’s mind to turn him into an embarrassingly dumb piece of the human race, either as a desperate attempt at voicing his necessities as rapidly as he can. After being friends with him for a shorter time than it seems (read that as, Taehyung only met Jeongguk like, a few months ago but that idiot just makes him lose track of time and think it's been more than just that), the older knows all too well that Jeongguk is never obvious or easy to understand (just to make this harder for him, perhaps). And now here he is, contemplating whether to actually take seriously a text he got from one of his best friends as a cry for help or it's just Jeongguk taking drinking as another challenge and competing against his own self.


It takes a good five minutes for his brain to present a useful idea, and he decides it's better safe than sorry. If Jeongguk turns out to be in trouble or just have an emotional breakdown, Taehyung would never be able to forgive himself for not running to his place as soon as the opportunity popped up, though, if the younger is just messing with him, he will have to take a mental note of telling Yoongi that it was Jeongguk who ruined his (Namjoon's) favourite hoodie with ketchup.




“Jimin, he's sitting all by himself. Don't you have this, I don't know, urge to reach out to him?”


The boy in question gives his best friend a weird look. “Actually, now that you ask, no. I don't.”


He only gets a huff in return that talks for itself and also Taehyung's opinion. “Sweetie, lying is not a good look on you. You were staring at him before, don't think I didn't saw.”


“Again, for the last time, I want his hoodie. It looks like, so fluffy, fuck, do you know when I last had anybody to give me their clothes?”


Taehyung snickers at that. “Sure I do. You constantly steal my clothes and remind me about your blue balls, ‘ven though I never asked for it.”


“And what I never asked for is your hair in my bathtub but do you see me complaining? Damn right you do.” Without even thinking of leaving space for another discussion upon the very same topic, he leads the way towards the mentioned boy in the nice hoodie, his mouth never shutting. “It's fucking gross, man. Clean up after yourself,” he grunts, not really expecting any development from Taehyung’s side on the subject for the following days, weeks, months, years.

Instead, he sits down, absentmindedly greeting the dude sitting there, seemingly taken off-guard.

“Hello, fellow human being. I'm Jimin, Park Jimin. That's my friend, Taehyung, but feel free to call him an idiot. He's used to it.”

Taehyung doesn't even look when he slaps the older’s shoulder because truth to be told, he is already used to their never-ending circle of being little shits to each other.

Be it either their teasing or displays of affection, he has grown to be a sucker for it, though he'll never admit that.


“What he meant to say-” Taehyung gives one of his looks to the boy grinning up at him, too smug and paradoxically, a bit too sweet, a dumbo. “-was, do you mind us joining you?”


“My introverted ass was never taught how to react to this,” the boy murmurs under his breath, sighing. “Sure. Whatever. Don't expect me to act like I'm actually okay though, ‘cause human interaction is lowkey overwhelming.”


Jimin grins, his eyes not disappearing into crescents yet but it is pretty close. “I like you, Sir Give-Me-Your-Hoodie,” he dodges the hand coming to slap him again, that fucker being all too open towards someone who might be uncomfortable with it. Taehyung worries for a second that that is the case but the guy laughs and man, is his smile the most adorable thing he has seen in his short, crack life.


“So you're not the subtle one of the two, are you.” The dude's voice is low enough for Jimin to miss the comment but Taehyung is sitting close enough to catch it, chuckling at the remark. The boy seizes his eyes for a split moment and gives him a close-mouthed smile, eyes hiding some cool ass galaxies behind them, and Taehyung knows that's the gayest thing he has ever thought but damn right he is one proud member of the full-homo community.


“My name is Jeon Jeongguk, by the way.”


“Hello then, Jeongguk. Nice face you got there,” Taehyung adds smartly to the conversation, full of useful comments to supply in the talking. So maybe straightforward and honest is his style, sue him.


“Says I-look-like-a-Gucci-model-and-am-apparently-doing-God’s-work-by-approaching-the-loner-sitting-by-himself Taehyung.” The guy, Jeongguk takes another sip from his orange juice. He's drinking fucking orange juice, probably gotten from the nearest vending machine. He's still a stranger but fuck, he's a cute stranger.

“I thought my nicknames were horrible but damn, you beat me to it.” Jimin is back at it again with being a little shit (he's actually doing a very good job at making the atmosphere more comfortable, that's probably his goal) and Taehyung likes the embarrassed headshake and looking-down-at-his-food thing that Jeongguk does.


“So, Jeon Jeongguk. You're a freshman?”


The boy, for whatever reason, turns a bit shy, and it doesn't take that much of a genius to realise the redness on his neck is a creeping blush. Taehyung likes the way it looks on him, though, and no, that is completely normal.


“Take a guess. Sitting alone, no friends, and my face is like 5 years younger than I am," his voice is close to inaudible, his statement before about not knowing how to respond; easily proved. That is fine, though, because being a little bit awkward has nothing to do with Jeongguk himself being a bad guy, and the way he swallows down the last letters of his every word is also kind of precious. Definitely cute. Taehyung can't even think about the boy being anything but that.


“That means you gotta call us hyung! I like the sound of that. Taetae here never heard of the word respect so it would be kind of new.”


Taehyung rolls his eyes, mumbling mostly to Jeongguk, “He's two months older but is more childish than I am.”


The boy seems amused at their constant bickering but he has to point out, “Sorry to interrupt whatever that was, but I barely know you. Isn't the ‘hyung’ thing a bit too much? You literally sat down next to me not two minutes ago.”


“That's fine,” he gets a boxy smile as some sort of reassurance (it works), and something more; “we just need to become your best friends then.”


(Though when they do become best friends, Jeongguk still refuses to call them hyung.)




Fate must really fucking hate Taehyung because his keys are not in their usual place and he can't afford walking to Jeongguk’s place, that shit takes way too long. Did Jimin use his car without asking and dropped the keys to a totally not-where-they’re-supposed-to-be place? Again?




“Hey, Guk! Jeonggukie!”


“Stop yelling, you're drawing attention to us.”


“You never cared about the attention before, dickhat. What's with the newfound urge to merge into the crowd?”


“Fuck you, Jeongguk hates when people stare. You're an ass.”


“People are staring at us, not Gukkie. You're overreacting, babe.”


A third voice joins the conversation, finally and suddenly shutting them up. “Are you two always fighting? I'm fine with the crowd but you, misters, are being way too loud even for someone who's not afraid of people.”

Taehyung turns around to face the boy, his smile taking over his features without his consent whatsoever. “Hey, baby.”


“It's not that we're always fighting. It's just, I'm a Libra and Taehyung, on the other hand, is a piece of shit.” the younger kicks him in the shin because respect is not a thing he cares about towards the elder when Jimin is being the motherfucker he was born to be, and they never really take stuff like that seriously anyway. The older is probably just doing it for the sake of being tickled to the ground, he loves the attention, that lovely dumbass.


“Tae, I told you to stop calling me that. Min, good one.” Jeongguk holds up his hand for an incoming high-five, enjoying the sound of the offended huff Taehyung lets out.


“Have you forgotten that I was the one who posed for your stupid project? I sacrificed my body just for you to get a good grade!”


“It's pretty hard not to remember when you remind me of it every damn day of my useless life, you dick. And you dared to say you were happy to help when we finished.”


“Are you sure it wasn't just his kinky tendencies that you satiated by painting him nude?”


Taehyung can't believe he's actually friends with two assholes. “Whatever. You two just live for abusing me.”


Jimin snorts but Jeongguk stays quiet, looking away. So maybe that was not the best thing to say and Taehyung may have just fucked something up but deciding to move on is better than to brood over this small (or maybe not that small) thing.

“So, Hobi told me his childhood best friend was moving here. Got really excited about it and wants us to meet him today. Name’s Yoongi.”


Jeongguk seems glad that the other is so quick to change the subject. “Seokjin's?”


“Nah, not yet. Hobi says he ain't ready for that.”


Jimin hums. “So we're going to B-eat? Haven't been there for a while now.”


“You told me you took that girl on a date and went there just two days ago, Min.”


“That's not the same! It's better when we go as in, we. She didn't even like me, kept on talking about her roommate. Pretty sure her life is that best-friends-in-love au, from what I heard.”


“You and your pansexual problems.”


“Shut your gay ass, Kim.”




“I swear to God I'm going to wash his white clothes with his red sweater,” Taehyung grumbles, mostly to himself as he finally finds his keys, after a two-minute long hunting. Jimin left them on the top of the microwave, who even does that? Fucking weirdo.




“Would you look at that, our baby Gukkie has company and it's not us! Who's the lucky guy?”


Taehyung rolls his eyes at his best friend and laughs at the embarrassed facepalm the younger does. There's another guy sitting opposite to him, pretty tall from what Taehyung can see from far. The dude turns around and waves at them, beginning to form some sort of greeting when his eyes find Jimin, stopping, jaw dropping.

“Pizza delivery guy?”


He hears an uncharacteristic gasp from Jimin. “Holy shit, underwear guy?”


Jeongguk chokes on his water (where is his orange juice?), helplessly coughing a few times.

“I get your part,” he points a finger at ‘underwear guy’ before turning to Jimin, “but what the fuck does yours mean?”


“I opened the door wearing only my underwear.”


“He opened the door wearing only his underwear,” Jimin nods, his lips slowly growing into a smirk. Taehyung has long sat down next to Jeongguk, watching as the plot unfolded, resting his head on the younger’s shoulder. (He pulled an all-nighter yesterday and is currently craving some human body warmth, sue him. Snuggling into Jeongguk’s baby blue hoodie is just an extra.)


Jimin takes his seat next to the guy, who later turns out to be Namjoon, easily starting a conversation between themselves.


“I’ve never seen you in anything but a hoodie. Are you even a human under this fluffy thing?”


“More important question, when have you last slept?” Jeongguk’s voice is gentle and Taehyung hears the smile in his tone, a bit teasing but not even close to hostile, only good-natured, concerned.

“Yah, you hear me? Earth to dumbass.”


Taehyung hushes him. “Ssh, affection me.”


He only gets a sigh in return and familiar arms adjusting his body so it would be comfortable for both of them. Jeongguk plays with his hair and constantly takes part in the discussion ongoing, voice a bit quieter, attentive to the older’s lack of sleep. And right there, in the middle of the cafeteria, Taehyung falls asleep because he is responsible and knows how to take care of himself. Definitely.




“You're going to wake him up.” Taehyung knows that voice, it belongs to Jimin.


“Okay, next time I'll leave him wherever he falls asleep because I'm a good friend.” And that's definitely Jeongguk, a bit closer than Jimin is.


Wait, so, who the fuck is carrying him? That's some k-drama bullshit right there. Maybe he's meant to be with his strong knight and can stop worrying about spending his life alone, crashing at Jimin's on the particularly lonely nights. Maybe. He's just really tired and so is his brain.


“Hold on, should I open my eyes like in a shoujo manga?” Taehyung sleepily asks from whoever hears and pays attention to him, voice a bit rustier than on average due to his little nap.


“See, you woke him up.”


“So now I'm the one to blame because you're too much of a twink to have muscles and carry him?”


“Okay, Zac Efron, we get it. You're addicted to torturing yourself.”


“It's called being in shape!”


“Can you two shut up now? Seriously, like the bad kind of old married couple, you're fighting like that.” And hey, a new voice - it's Namjoon, the guy Taehyung had seen for barely five minutes before falling asleep in the middle of the cafeteria.


“Whatever. Open the door, this dumbass is not featherweight.”


Taehyung half-heartedly slaps Jeongguk on the chest (because yes, Jeongguk is the one carrying him), mumbling something about his ability to walk on his own if it's too much of a nuisance. The younger probably hears him but refuses to put him down and carries him into his room after Jimin fumbled with the keys long enough, putting Taehyung down gently on his own bed.


“I've never been carried bridal style like that.”


“It should have stayed that way.” Jeongguk sits down on his bed, letting himself fall on his back, pushing Taehyung's legs out of the way. “I can't pull Superman shit like that for too long.”


“You don't hate me enough to leave me to Jimin.”


“How’d you know? You haven't looked in the mirror yet, babe.” The boy mentioned laughs, winking when his best friend opens his eyes and glares at him.

“You wouldn't dare,” he says slowly, a daring glint in his eyes focusing on Jimin's dark orbs. His expression is too mischievous for Taehyung's liking.


“You had to spoil the joke, didn't you? I wanted to take a break and breathe, dammit, Min.” Jeongguk sits up, reluctant, before his eyes divert in the other’s direction, giving Taehyung one of those grins he hates to receive. Nasty mofos, what did they do now?


Turns out, an idiot hunting ten minutes later, that they put make-up on Taehyung, some pretty strong eyeliner right there. (And it looks good on him, everything does, but Taehyung is not particularly a fan of it.)

He's definitely not buying ice cream for Jimin for a month and isn't playing videogames with Jeongguk for two weeks. And only because he's a softie for the younger.




He puts on the Timberlands napping in his hallway (that are probably either Jeongguk’s or Hoseok's, he can't remember clearly who he stole-or sorry, borrowed them from) and opens his door with hurried movements, a bit too rushed, only to go back for his phone he forgot on the coffee table. Typical.




“How can you forget picking me up? You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you out in the pouring rain!”


“I already told you I'm sorry, Jeongguk, I can't do much about it now! Next time if you decide to go to the gym, maybe arrange it so I can do what I am supposed to! I can't always drive your sorry ass here and there just because you're a spoiled brat!”


“You really don't need to yell, guys-”


“So now I'm the one at fault?” Jeongguk laughs hysterically. “Don't put your blame on me, dickhead, I asked you one thing! If you ever say no, I'm fine with that, just don't promise me shit you don't even remember!”


“Seriously, you both are being a bit too-”


“Well, you don't need to go to the gym every day, do you? You can stay home and mind your own ass business without asking everyone to baby you for one goddamn time, can't you?”


“You know I hate staying at home, Judge Judy, I've told you now few times enough for you to know that,”


“I thought you were an introvert, fuckface, what are you even doing? Seeking some attention twenty-four seven? Can't you just try to fucking relax for one goddamn day?!”


That seems to hit a spot, and bloody hell, does it hit a spot.


When Jeongguk seems as if he lost his ability to breathe and turns around to leave the house and slam the door shut, more harshly than necessary, Taehyung definitely knows he hit a spot. It was out of place, he overdid it.


“Tae...” Jimin sighs from his right, watching Namjoon go after the boy, throwing angry eyes in Taehyung's way. “You should've stopped at the sorry part.”




His phone rings on the way down the stairs, thanking whoever pulls the strings of fate (with lots of sarcasm), he picks it up, after he notices who it is.

“Hey, love. Make it quick, I'm going to Jeongguk’s.”


“Hey, my one and onl- wait what? To Guk’s? He never lets anyone into his flat!”


Taehyung bites his lip, getting more and more worried by the second. “That just makes it worse. He might be in some kind of trouble.”


“Are you bullshitting me? You sure it's not one of his dumb pranks?”


“I'm on my way to find out. What did you need?”


On the other side of the phone, Jimin sighs, resignedly but he doesn't voice it. “Wanted to have a movie night, Yoon ditched me for underwear dumbass. And Hobi’s not home yet, took the night shift or something. Whatever, go and check up on Guk, if you need any help with that, ring me up.”


“Thanks, babe, ‘m sending lots of heart emojis your way. Maybe another time? And that's a promise.”


“‘kay, ‘kay, whatever, get your man. Hanging up now, take care.”


And that's that.




“You do taekwondo? Not gonna lie, that's more than just a bit surprising. I've never heard you and sports in one sentence,” Yoongi laughs. “And yet, I'd rather trust Jimin with my life. He's fucking frightening when he's mad, would kill anyone in our way with one look,”


Hoseok interrupts, staring into nothing blankly like he's seen a ghost. “I have seen mad Jimin once. Couldn't sleep for days.”


The boy in question rolls his eyes, joining, “You guys are overreacting. Have you seen Tae and his cool ass moves? Now that, gentlemen, would be something I recommend to be afraid of.”


“I believe that. Angry Taehyung is nothing-” Namjoon earns a glare and a few chuckles with that, “-but there was this one time I tripped - you fuckers better not say a word - and his reflexes were so, well, fast? I'm not joking. It was crazy scary, lowkey,” he adds.


“Okay, let's ask a clueless moron about that. Hey, Guk!” Hoseok looks behind his back.


The boy is playing some videogames with Seokjin, humming when he recognises his name. He does not ask about the discreet laughing he hears after.


“Which one makes you shit your pants more; mad Jimin or taekwondo Taehyung?”


Without missing a heartbeat, Jeongguk answers. “Mad Jimin. That monster is still haunting me in my nightmares.”

Seokjin, from beside him contradicts that, though. “Uhm, clearly, you haven't seen taekwondo Tae then. Dude, his slaps are actually hard - there was this one time he was being a little shit and my ass had this red patch even after two days."


“That's not particularly necessary information for us to know,” Namjoon comments and Seokjin throws a pillow at him.

“Whatever. I’ll never be afraid of Taehyung, just because he knows how to punch people,” Jeongguk mutters, and the boy addressed huffs something about not wanting people to be afraid of him because he can give them more than just easy bitch slaps.




After finally he's got the engine going, he impatiently takes the road and drives in the right direction. It's true, nobody from their circle of friends has ever been to Jeongguk’s flat, the boy only lets them escort him till the stairs. Which is a bit weird but Taehyung won't be the one to break his privacy, rather the one who respects it and shuts Jimin up when he whines about being a little bit curious.




“This is the first time baby is sleeping over. He's growing up so fast!” Taehyung dramatically clenches his shirt right over his heart, wiping away some fake tears for the extra effect.


“I told you to stop calling me that. And I can leave anytime if you keep this up. You're annoying.”


“Naww, don't be like that. I'm a nice guy.”


“I thought so as well for the first five seconds when you approached me.”


“Shut up, you ass. I know I'm not at the L-word level yet but you like me more than you show. Cute li’l fucker.” The younger snorts but he's not denying it.


Probably it's the first time Taehyung sees Jeongguk’s arms, which is kind of ridiculous but damn was it worth the waiting. Taehyung has no strength kink, not that he knows of, but Jeongguk always goes beyond expectations. And don't even mention his legs. Those fucking calves, what the fuck. Though Taehyung usually goes for personality, Jeongguk just has to be even more jaw-dropping with his goddamn addiction to physical torture (read: exercising) and body that matches the hard work’s result.


There's only one thing that catches Taehyung's eyes and it's not necessarily the good kind. Bruises, some of them green and blue, another few seemingly new with a fresh red colour, and the least close to fading, an ugly shade of yellow.


He can't help the nosy question and before even thinking, his mouth moves on its own. “Where did you get those from?” his eyes drink in the blemished skin, wincing when he finds the boy’s knees looking especially bad.


“I, uh.” Jeongguk seems flustered, taken aback. “I don't like showing them to people because I'm pretty clumsy. I trip over my own feet a lot.”


That doesn't sound right. Jeongguk is not the clumsy type. Jimin? Mostly. Namjoon? Sure. But Jeongguk? That's a no.


Though, Taehyung doesn't ask any further.


“Clumsy li’l bun. You're so cute. When I say we wanna protect you, that's exactly what I mean.”


Jeongguk grimaces and twists that bitterness into a fake-looking smile, humming. “I know, dumbass. You either call me a piece of shit or tell me how precious you think I am. There's no in-between.”


Taehyung smiles, still a bit unsure and a lot more gentle, “No coincidence.”




Taehyung eyes the red light with such intensity, he actually feels bad for staring at a traffic light so intently. Whatever, he has better things to worry about than the non-existent feelings of this three-coloured fucker.

Like Jeongguk.




Jeongguk has never been one to lose. Especially when it comes to Overwatch, of damn course.


“I'm so gonna die. This is it. This is the end,” Taehyung panics, eyes fully glued to the screen, fingers now pressing every button he can so as not to be taken down in the game. It's unhealthily natural seeing his hands work so fast on a damn controller.

(Such a contrast to when he is writing an essay that's due the next day.)


“What do I get if I win this one as well?” Jeongguk is a cheeky little mofo, laughing at the other’s misery.


When Taehyung starts screaming and running, Hoseok falls off the bed laughing and Seokjin finds it hard to breathe with so much entertainment going on.


“Fucking shit, piece of motherfucker, fucking fuck you, dickhead!”


“That was some hardcore swearing from you, Tae,” Jeongguk snickers. “And you almost lost again. Your ruin is near.”


The older whines. “I don't wanna lose again! I always do against you, it's not fair…” he's pouting, an adorable phenomenon. From the corner of his eye, Jeongguk glances at him, making up his mind before rolling his eyes. The next second, he runs right into death, making it look like it wasn't his fault of course because Jeon Jeongguk never loses, and damn Namjoon's whole Ryan collection if he ever loses on purpose.


“What the, what?” Taehyung's eyes fall on the younger boy, mouth agape. “What just happened?”


Using his best acting skills, Jeongguk grits through his teeth, voice seemingly petulant, “I lost.” He hardens his expression, putting on a show. Taehyung laughs in disbelief, throwing an arm over his shoulder to pull him close and enjoy the taste of victory (his smile is fucking blinding). Seems like Jeongguk perfectly fooled him.


Little does he know, it didn't work with Jimin, who was watching him instead of Taehyung, perfectly knowing what and why Jeongguk did.


Later that day, standing in the kitchen and making dinner (a rare occasion, they usually order some pizza or Chinese), it's Jimin’s turn. When Jeongguk walks next to him for a glass of water (or the orange juice they always buy, only for Jeongguk though, because he's the only one liking it that much), the older takes the opportunity to tease him just a bit.


“You're a softie for Tae.”




Jimin doesn't turn around, keeps stirring whatever that is, smirking. “I have grounds to suspect you're a softie for Tae.”


He hears the characteristic clink sound when the younger puts down his glass. “Not that I'm denying it but, what exactly are these grounds?”


That's such a Jeongguk response.


“You lost just to make him happy. At Overwatch. Sounds familiar?”


A small pause follows, Jeongguk is probably comprehending what Jimin just said. Then he says,

“If you tell anyone, especially Tae, I'm going to tell Jisoo about your crush on her,” he threatens the other, trying his best to hide the sheepishness from his tone.


“You anus, that's exactly what I'm talking about. You would dare to betray me like that just for him,” the older huffs, sounding offended but he really isn't.


“Jimin, hey,” Jeongguk makes him turn around. As soon as the opportunity is present, he flicks Jimin’s forehead, successfully avoiding the leg kicking his way right after.


“I'm your hyung, you little shit!”


“You called me a softie, you deserved it.”


Jimin only snorts.




When the light turns green, Taehyung is not hesitating to hit the gas and go beyond the speed limit. Jeongguk’s more important than a twenty thousand won fine. He could deal with that.




“Tell me to back off if I need, but Guk, are you… ace? As in, you know. Because, I just, we haven't seen you go on any dates. I'm just a bit curious.” Jimin’s question seems to perk everyone's interest and the boy in question suddenly feels a bit pressured.


“Well, uh, yeah? I-I think I am.”


“Ah. That's cool.”


“Yep, it makes sense.”


Everyone seems to agree and accept the new information, not really shaken up by it. Well, except for someone, and take a wild guess who it is. Only one chance.


Taehyung is pretty sure he's asked Jeongguk the same kind of question before, in the privacy of only the two of them, and surprise, the boy told him he was bisexual.


Not that one cannot go from one to another, the big journey of figuring himself out seems to be just naturally long for Jeongguk, but it still bothers Taehyung. Just a bit.




Thank God, an old lady is just about to exit the stairway and Taehyung manages to catch the door, smiling and thanking the cute lady.

He faintly remembers Jeongguk complaining about how bad it is to live on the first floor, neighbours from above can be a nuisance.

He sees only three doors on that certain floor and one of them definitely has ‘Jeon’ written on a small card, so he knocks.


Not only five seconds later, Jeongguk opens the door.




It's just the two of them, sitting in Taehyung's car as the older drives the younger home like he usually does on Wednesdays (and almost every other day of the week but shush.)

There's a comfortable silence lingering in the air and for a moment, Taehyung suspects Jeongguk has fallen asleep. Only for the younger to speak up though, voice a bit husky.

“You know,” his voice is so soft, “even though I'm not a fan of throwing the L-word around, you know that I. Uh. Feel very strongly about you?”


Taehyung, hands never leaving the wheel and eyes glued to the road, tastes the words on his tongue like it's sweet salt and sour bitterness.

“What's with the sudden sappy cheese?”


Jeongguk stutters, “I-nevermind, it's stupid. Forget it. That was embarrassing.”


“Hey, hey. That's not what I meant, okay? I know. This feely-touchy thing is not your style and you're already beyond your limits. You were a lot more uncomfortable with it before, and though we told you that's okay, you still tried to embrace it ‘nd stuff.” He takes a brief glance at the other. “I also know you can't say it back but you're damn aware that I love you. And not even I like to say it, let's not even go into the details that far, but, well, yeah. You know I do. And I know what you do.”


No more words are exchanged until they reach the younger’s house, and he gets out of the car.


“Sleep well, Guk.”


There's a smile on Jeongguk’s lips Taehyung can't quite detect, it may be bitter, sad, or just tired.

“Sure. You too, Tae.”




“Oh my fuck.” Taehyung's eyes drop wide as he takes in the sight, Jeongguk with a busted lip, red eyes (that aren't red just as an indicator of the boy crying - some punches did that), patches resembling handprints on his neck, and several bruises scattered everywhere across his figure, be it his face or limbs.


His throat is so dry when he whimpers out, “Hurts.” And Taehyung's heart breaks, not just once but a thousand times. Again and again.


He gently pulls Jeongguk into his arms, careful enough not to make him hiss in pain, stepping into his flat, closing the door and taking up the role of the friend, the helper, whatever Jeongguk needs.


“Who did this to you, Gukkie? Do I need to call the ambulance?”


Jeongguk shakes his head but doesn't answer verbally.


Taehyung pulls away, gently telling Jeongguk to follow him, so so cautious and soft. They need to sit down, at least.

He has the younger waiting for him on the couch while he makes himself at home, finding the kitchen and after opening almost every cupboard, he grabs a glass he can fill with water.


Taking the mentioned glass of water with himself, he gives it to Jeongguk without leaving space for any protest, making sure the boy chugs the whole thing down. After the younger gives it back, he places it on the coffee table, as gently as he can in order not to make any harsh sounds, sitting down beside the boy, taking his face into his hands.


“Look at me while I check you up, ‘kay? I'm a medicine minor, trust me. You have a first aid-kit somewhere here?”


His only scratchy reply is a stuttered “b-bathroom,” before he stands up to get that certain box. He's taking no slow steps, jogging his way back as soon as he notices what he needs, back to Jeongguk in a second.


“Okay, Guk, you ‘kay? I need you to take your clothes off, shirt and pants are fine. While I'm checking you up, you're gonna tell me what happened and who did it, ‘kay? I’m right here.” He sits down again, opening the first-aid-kit box while the younger obliges and takes off his shirt, gulping at the sight of his chest, breathing becoming ragged. Noticing this, Taehyung catches his attention with lifting his chin with one finger, some sort of reassuring smile on his lips.

“Four-seven-eight technique, you know that one? Breathe in for four secs, hold it in for seven and exhale for eight. I'm counting, you follow.” And he does just that, murmurs the numbers over and over again, till the younger is breathing normally. During that process, he examines the injuries the younger is sporting, taking out the disinfectant and cotton pads, falling into an adept headspace.

Even Taehyung himself is surprised how collected he is, able to give instructions like that and do what he has learnt for so many years, this is the practical lesson, simple like that. He's seen blood before, that won't scare him, has seen bruises like that before, that's nothing to be afraid of. Maybe the fact that it's Jeongguk can be some kind of really fucking worrisome but he doesn't have time for that.


“You good?” he asks, concern strongly present in his voice. Jeongguk nods.


“Use your words. Take your time, I don't mind, but I need you to speak up and answer me.”


Jeongguk exhales, once again a bit shaky, “Yeah. I’m, I’m fine.”


“Okay, good. You're doing great. Where does it hurt? Tell me.”


“My, uh. Stomach. My stomach.”


Taehyung grimaces. That's not good and he can only hope he doesn't need to take the boy to the hospital. For example, internal bleedings are not something he can deal with with such an appliance.


“Okay. Lay down, here, I’ll help you.” He supports the boy, never stopping to distract him, constantly talking. “That's it. Good, okay. Does it hurt here?” he puts his hand on the naked stomach before him, biting his lip when Jeongguk approves. His hand wanders further, towards his ribcage and Jeongguk hisses. Fuck, some of his ribs must be broken, too.

The boy is also very hot, Taehyung checks his forehead. He definitely has a fever as well, on top of everything. Fucking delicious.


“Okay, look at me. Are you dizzy?” he questions, ever so gentle, taking his phone out of his pocket without letting the other know. He sends a quick text to Jimin, saying ‘call an ambulance to guks place, quick’ and he feels a tiny bit guilty for doing this but Jeongguk’s state is not one he can handle without any appliance. First-aid-kits are useful but does not comprise everything he needs.


Jeongguk’s voice is reduced to only whispers, a weak noise. “A bit. I feel nauseous,” he says.

“Fuck. You might have a concussion. Were you hit in the head hard?” Jeongguk nods. “Words, Guk.”


“Y-yeah,” he's fighting the urge to close his eyes. “He hit me,” he slurs, losing Taehyung.


“Shit, fuck, Guk. Listen to me, okay? Don't fall asleep. Who is ‘he’?”


The boy gulps, not a pleasant sound, before speaking up. “My, uh, boyfriend. I started dating him three years ago. Two years into, uh, the whole relationship thing, he became, this, uhh, how do you say it…” his words are becoming blurry, syllables everything but clear. “Abusive. He came home one day and beat me up, for no reason…” he trails off, voice high-pitched at the end of his sentence. He's delirious.


While listening to him - which takes more time than it would normally - Taehyung disinfects as many bruises and open wounds (that he can sadly find) as his composure lets him, jaw clenched and fists ready to smash something into tiny pieces. It's pretty hard to work in that state, where fury takes over the mind, nearly no reasonability reaching him anymore.


“H-he is gonna come home soon, Tae. You need to go. He shouldn't find you here,” he whimpers when one of his bruises particularly sting, whining. “Gonna get even more mad...”


“Ssh, I got this, okay? I'm proud of you, for texting me. Don't worry about him.”




“I got this, no buts. You're gonna be fine, baby,”


“No no no don't, don't. Don't call me that.” Jeongguk is now quick to throw a small tantrum, whining and batting Taehyung's hands away from him. “He calls me that. I don't. I don't like it.”

That makes sense. For all of the times Jeongguk told him to stop using that petname and Taehyung didn't understand but never asked either. It makes so much sense and Taehyung is so so dumb.


“Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Guk is fine, right?” he cards his fingers through the younger’s hair, a bit sweat-damped, clearly appreciating the small gesture. Taehyung sighs.


“Guk is fine,” he gets a mumble, heavy with something resembling sleepiness. “I'm fine,” he whispers, closing his eyes.


“Yes, you are. But don't fall asleep, ‘kay? Come on, sit up. Here.”


They're interrupted by the door slamming open, an unknown dude, seemingly furious and wasted, stepping in before he shuts it close with a loud bang. Taehyung stands up, extending an arm in a protective manner, his brain trying to cover Jeongguk from the guy.


“Who the fuck are you?” the man asks, brows furrowed and his fist is already lifted, ready to meet Taehyung's face.

Instead, our one hell of a protagonist grabs that fist and holds it in place before kicking the guy in the stomach, then a hard elbowing to the head as he's bent and voilà, there you have a knocked out asshole on the floor. Some karate kid bullshit right there.


“Holy, shit.” Jeongguk stares at him and chuckles weakly, as much as his injuries let him. “There's a knife, in one of his pockets. Take that out.”


Taehyung nods and does just that before grabbing the sweatpants resting on the couch, tying the dude’s hands together behind his back.




“Shut up, I just saved you from your toxic “relationship” or whatever you call it.”


“It wasn't even that cool, like in the movies. I could've done that.”


“But you didn't. For a year now.”


Jeongguk hums. “I didn't. Kinda pathetic, no? Even after realising I didn't love him anymore, I couldn't just escape.”


Taehyung shakes his head. “If you stopped loving him, then it wasn't love. And it's not pathetic. Whatever. Do you hear those sirens? The ambulance’s here.”


“Wai-what?! Why did you..? I told you to not, Tae, I don't-”


“You literally called for my help with this out of nowhere, and only now do I get to know you've been going through domestic abuse all this time. After months of befriending you!” Taehyung snaps. “So do not bullshit me, Jeongguk, I don't know how to deal with this! You've been hurting and I was so goddamn stupid. I'm a piece of garbage, fucking shit.”


“It's not something you can-”


The door, for the last time that day, is slammed open, and Jeongguk is taken to the ambulance car.


Taehyung only leaves his flat after the dude on the floor is also taken to the police most likely, and Jimin has to force him to go home.


Jeongguk spends the night at the hospital, at the verge of uncertainty. Taehyung doesn't sleep.




“So you told them you are his fiancé, to…get to visit him one day sooner?”




“And you claim to tell me everything. Never mentioned liking Jeongguk whatsoever.”


“I-what? I don't like him! You know what I mean by that. He's just, he's Jeongguk. I mean. They only let his family visit him. I was just worried.”


Jimin laughs at him, leaning against Taehyung's car. (The younger asked him to drive him to the hospital and bring his car back home for him because he's a spoiled best friend of Jimin’s, that's all.)

“Babe, look, Guk’s my friend as well, and though I love his company very much and care about him even more than that, I don't lie to a hospital to just see him one day earlier. That's some feelings you got there, nevermind how strong they are. Face it, dickhat.”


“Whatever. Fuck you. Go home already, I'll call you if anything’s up.”


“You just go ‘nd get your man, Romeo.”




“How did you even get in?”


“Ssh, I'm your fiancé. Call me beautiful.”


“I don't tell lies. You're an idiot, what the fuck.”


Even when in a hospital bed, fighting some mild effects of sleepiness from the painkillers, Jeongguk is Jeongguk.


“Whatever, don't care. How is you?” he cracks a smile, not using correct grammar like a normal human being on purpose, and no, the author is not a moron.


A smile. “In my best form, as you can see. Healthy and breathtaking.”


“Okay, Jeon, no need to be yourself.” He mirrors the curve of lips. “I'm just constantly worried about you for the next eternity.”


“I know, Tae.” Jeongguk lets his head fall back, eyeing the ceiling. It's white, like every single damn thing in a hospital is. “I'm sorry, actually. For not telling you and telling you, you know what. Wasn't the right timing. And, hell, it's just, so goddamn stupid. I don't even know. I trust you the most but I can't tell you what my biggest problem is. It's weird. And pitiful. And weird. Sorry.”


“Shut up. Don't. I mean, don't apologise.” He sits down on the edge of Jeongguk’s bed, shaking his head. “Why didn't you…say anything?”


There's a short load of silence filling the room, not exactly uncomfortable, rather waiting to be broken. But never unpleasant.


“It's…It's not that easy. I knew it wasn't good for me, I'm not a masochist or that dumb to misconceive what it was, but. He used to be different, very. You know, the funny, kind type of guy. I remember getting him flowers sometimes and stuff in the past, and I found later he is allergic to them, yet, he still kept them on the bedside table in a vase, for days, and didn't complain,” Jeongguk breathes. “I don't know. You don't just leave someone who used to mean so much to you. No matter what way they change. And calling for help, though that would have been the best for me, I guess, don't you think…it would be the same as saying, ‘I can't help them anymore, it's out of my control’? It's weird. I don't think you can understand unless you go through it. Kinda.”


Taehyung watches him talk, listening with full attention, nodding. “Okay, that's fine. You're right.” He bites his bottom lip, a bit too harsh, “So what's next?”


A shaky exhale. “I'm going to a psychologist after I can go home from here. I was told I must. I don't know, Tae. I don't fucking know what will happen next.”


“You could move in with me,” the older bluntly suggests. “To leave that place behind. You know. A change would be good. And my flat is too big for one person anyway. Only if you want to, though.”


The idea tastes new and appealing.






“-only a few of his stuff. He's going to finish at six, so I wanna surprise him and let him just sleep after he gets home.”


“Are you sure you're not his husband?” Jimin groans as he parks the car, rolling his eyes. “Do you need me to help, or?”


“I got it, lazy ass, don't you dare get up and leave your comfortable little spot on that damn seat.”






“Not Guk’s?”


“Jisoo wouldn't like finding out you read her diary to know what to get her on your dumb one and a half months anniversary, now would she?”


Taehyung slams the door of the car shut, not hearing Jimin’s mumble of “you two are perfect for each other”, he just simply grabs the keys from his pocket and makes his way to the familiar building. The last few touches of Jeongguk completely moving in with him, doing it alone is worth the hassle if he gets to see Jeongguk’s tired half-assed smile in the end.




“You're gonna die of eating too much ramen one day, I tell you.”


“And you're gonna die of nosing around me too much, you. Let a man have a snack,” Jeongguk bitches back from the chair he's sitting on, scrolling through social media on his phone.


Taehyung laughs, whole-heartedly, fingers carding through Jeongguk’s hair. It's soft, weirdly so. “It's called caring ‘bout you, sweetie.”


“Whatever. Care about yourself more, Tae.”




“I'm serious.”


“Okay, okay. I got it.” He rolls his eyes, knowing exactly that Jeongguk does not like the lowkey arrogant gesture.






“Don't ‘what’ me! I saw you skipping dinner even though you told me you'd eat, for the third time this week! And it's Thursday.”


Taehyung just glares at him. 




Taehyung huffs. “Shut up. I'm the hyung.”


“Act like it then.”


Jeongguk is such a little shit. Taehyung can't help but adore him.


“You know what? I'm taking you out to dinner and you can see me eat. My treat.”


Jeongguk puts down his phone, full attention on the older.


“Are you taking me out on a date?”


Taehyung grins, placing his hand on the table to lean down, invading the other’s personal space by far. He teasingly licks his lips, enjoying the way Jeongguk’s breath hitches due to the lack of distance, and he says, “Hell yeah.” And just like that, he straightens up and makes his way to the living room, throwing himself on the couch, waiting for the predicted reaction;


“Why are you like this?”


He only laughs.




But, he does take Jeongguk out on a date.


“I don't really know what to actually think of this, Tae,” the younger mumbles after he's got his order, in a full real restaurant, like on a real date.


“Sure, just eat. I like seeing you eat. You're cute. Your eyes always go a little wider before taking a bite,” he smiles, eyes reflecting adoration when Jeongguk groans.


“You're so embarrassing, what the fuck.”


“I like to call it being attentive.” Taehyung gestures for Jeongguk to start eating, and with the stupid blush he's sporting, he obliges, mumbling something resembling a thank you, dumbass. He's cute, okay.


When he takes his fork into his mouth, his eyes do go slightly wider but Taehyung decides not to mention it. He instead starts a conversation that has Jeongguk talking animatedly, excited and subconsciously smiling while he gets into it. And Taehyung's eyes never leave him, he too, forming a smile.


After they finish and Taehyung pays (not before a small debate of who will actually do it and Jeongguk loses, for Taehyung, once again), they don't mind the twenty-minute walk home.


Jeongguk is the one to take Taehyung's hand into his own, looking away when the older’s eyes turn his way, teasing and questioning. He's still cute.




The very next day, Taehyung wakes up later than usual, maybe because he was up thinking about the whole date thing, or maybe because he's a lazy ass and went straight back to sleep after waking up at nine. All it took was a glance at the time and a soft groan.


So it's not much of a surprise when he finds Jeongguk already awake, greeting him with a quiet hey and a smile. He's standing in the middle of the kitchen, phone in hand and ingredients resting on the counter - which is only weird and worrisome because Jeongguk rarely ever cooks.


“Whatchu up to, boo?” Taehyung, once again, invades his personal space and hugs him from behind, arms wrapping around waist, broad back against a warm chest, jaw on a shoulder.


“Tried to make pancakes while you were sleeping but I'm kind of clueless. How do you even-Tae, what are you doing?” the younger’s voice becomes weaker by the end of his sentence, going high-pitched an panicky. Taehyung chuckles, nosing into his neck, a ticklish and intimate sensation.


“I'm waking up, why?” Jeongguk hears the smile in his voice.


“Ooh-kay,” he laughs awkwardly, turning around and pulling away from the other. “Give me some space. I don't like it.” His hands are gentle when he turns Taehyung's face away, going back to making pancakes soon enough not to have a staring contest.


“Sorry,” comes the guilty answer and now Jeongguk feels bad as well but his anxiety is just way too loud, screaming at him whenever someone so much as touches him. The worst part that it's actually Taehyung, another reason to be not okay.


“‘s fine. I just. You know.”


“Yeah, yeah.” Taehyung nods, helping him with whatever Jeongguk attempted doing. In the end, he steps aside and lets the older do the do, hopping on the kitchen island.


“Just tell me one thing.” Taehyung looks into his eyes, entirely serious. “What do you want out of this?”


Jeongguk gapes and closes his mouth after a second, does that a few times, watching Taehyung’s back. Then finally, after rethinking it more than enough, he speaks up, voice unsteady,

“I-you. If that's okay. Whatever. If you do too.”


Taehyung looks over his shoulder, turning around to face the younger eventually.

“Good to hear. Me too, Guk.” He moves to take the place between Jeongguk’s legs, tilting his head a bit upwards.


The younger puts a hand on his mouth, guiding him away, muttering,

“What are you doing.” It comes out more like a statement than a question. Taehyung does not miss the uncertainty reflected in his orbs.


“Can I kiss you? Cheek is fine. If you're okay with it,” he smiles, leaving enough space for the younger to breathe and to escape if he needs to. He doesn't.


“Whatever.” Jeongguk turns away, dropping his hand to let Taehyung leave a soft and quick peck on the apple of his cheek. The older turns pretty much giddy and happy after that, so Jeongguk guesses it's something worth it.


“If we're doing this, we're taking it slow, yeah? No rush. You probably aren't ready for that, which is perfectly okay. Though, I'm not your previous asshole of a boyfriend, okay? If I ever dare to hurt you, be it unintentional or on purpose, emotional or physical, you must tell Jimin to expose all my darkest secrets to the world and Seokjin to murder me. Deal?”


Jeongguk lets himself show a small shy grin, humming. “Deal.” He extends his arms, still just a bit timid and Taehyung accepts the invitation, enveloping the younger in a warm hug, assuring of his presence.


And Jeongguk starts to fall in love with him, just a tiny bit.




“Who's the dumb one now?” Jimin huffs, fake offended. “I told you, I knew it, but did you believe me? No, you said shut the fuck up, you're an idiot. Both of you threatened to expose me to Jisoo!” the girl next to him giggles, head falling back to rest on her boyfriend's shoulder. (Jisoo is actually a human creature who is shorter than Jimin, fascinating.)


“I mean, that one time you pretended to be his fiancé was a bit too much to be not suspicious, don't you think?” Hoseok pours more beer into his glass, maybe a bit too much considering his low alcohol tolerance.


“I hate you. All of you. You deserve to step on a lego,” Taehyung mumbles, not really meaning anything. He has a personality to match, though, and Jeongguk’s muffled laugh is also highkey worth it.


“How dare you. You went too far this time, Kim Bae-hyung,” Namjoon hiccups, not complaining when Yoongi puts a hand on his mouth, shutting him up. Taehyung winces, because, well, Namjoon didn't just say bae, did he? (An ancient spell only the evilest witches know about.)


“Is he drunk?”


“He's fucking wasted, man.”


“So, am I the only one surprised?” Seokjin looks around, still not over the fact that Jeongguk and Taehyung are dating now. “I always thought Tae and Hobi was a thing.”


The immediate reaction is, “Ew!” from both of the mentioned boys before they take a pause to comprehend, and once again speak up in sync, “Excuse you?”


And that's that.




One and a half months into their relationship, Jeongguk still hasn't kissed Taehyung, not once. Sure, there are quick pecks before saying goodbyes or as a greeting, a dose of affection in the morning or when finally arriving home, finding the other already there, the sweet home fast to replace thoughts and stress due to college. But after one month, he feels kind of bad for not trying hard enough for Taehyung, also wanting it. It's been way too long even for him, and don't get Jeongguk wrong - if he asks Taehyung now for a kiss, a bit embarrassed, he's only doing it because he wants to. Because he's ready, doesn't need any more time.


At first, after a week, he'd try to tell Taehyung he was okay with it but the older, reading him easily, refused. And though the rejection still stings a bit, Jeongguk is damn aware that it was for him and his vulnerability that his boyfriend stopped him, and is very much grateful for it. (Boyfriend in italics because Jeongguk likes the sound of that way too much.)


So, when he gets home and finds Taehyung in the kitchen, making carbonara, he sits down on the counter, slightly tense.


“Hey, bubs. How was it?” Taehyung, of damn course, senses his presence right away, not leaving his precious pasta though.


“Miyeon-ssi told me our sessions are soon to be over. I have almost fully recovered,” he answers cheerfully, stealing a few cherries from the plate they have resting on the counter, especially for fruits to be out of the refrigerator and eaten.


Taking the pot off of the stove and turning it off, Taehyung grins. “You're amazing, babe.” He puts the lid on the pot, finally turning around to face his boyfriend.

In two small steps, he's right in front of Jeongguk, hands naturally coming up to rest on the younger’s knees and he leans to leave a peck on Jeongguk’s nose but instead, the younger tilts his head perfectly to greet his lips with a pair on his own. Taehyung's eyes fly open immediately, ready to apologise but there's no time for that, not when his little devil of a boyfriend starts slowly moving against his lips, characteristically shy.

And though Taehyung really really wants to just dive in and enjoy it, he can't do that without being sure. So, he pulls away, ignoring the whine he gets as a reward,

“Guk, you sure you-”


“Tae, please, I want this. I want to kiss you.” The younger’s gaze bores into his own and there is not much time for thinking when Jeongguk grabs Taehyung by the nape and pulls him in, now more brave, hungrily tasting the sensation.


So, fuck it, Taehyung thinks, and follows the lead, easily taking over that little dominance Jeongguk has tried to keep. He coaxes a particularly loud moan out of the younger, and he needs to ask, not pulling away, just against those very same lips he has been fantasising about since day one,

“Is, is tongue okay? Can I?”


Jeongguk pants. “Yes, please, hyung," and ladies and gentlemen, that is what has Taehyung moving, maybe a tad too fast, though Jeongguk doesn't seem to mind.


And oh fucking lord, Taehyung is so good with his tongue, Jeongguk tries to swallow down his moans but Taehyung spurs them on with more vigor than what he can repress.

The older steps closer, one of his hands now up to caress Jeongguk’s side, smiling when he's not pushed away.


The younger seems to give up fighting for the unreachable dominance he lost a long time ago, arms falling lazily around the other's neck, just letting himself get lost in the feeling.

Unfortunately, oxygen is something they need in advance to stay alive, so Taehyung pulls away when he considers the tightness in his lungs too much. Right after two heartbeats of panting, though, he dives right back in, and - don't be surprised - Jeongguk is definitely not one to complain.




“-and you shouldn't forget the-Guk, hey, you following?” Taehyung sighs, for the thirty-seventh time that evening, putting the pen in his hand down. “Did you listen to anything I said the past fifteen minutes?” he's a bit frustrated, his voice perfectly betraying him, no matter how hard he tries to appear as patient.


“Sorry,” Jeongguk almost whispers, voice nearly too quiet for Taehyung to catch. Only then does the older realise the extra shining to his eyes, a bit glassy, as Jeongguk rests his chin on his fist, looking in front of himself. He tends to get overwhelmed by stress sometimes, like this, releasing it in the form of tears and sobs. Not with Taehyung around, though.


Taehyung lets himself show a gentle smile, sighing again but for a completely different reason, in a completely different way. “It's fine. You're tired and too stressed about this. How ‘bout I make you some hot chocolate or tea? How's that sound?” he strokes Jeongguk’s back, and the younger almost purrs, needing the affection, melting into it. 


“Can I, uh, have some hot chocolate? Please.” he rubs his eyes, drying the unfallen tears of exasperation away. Taehyung brushes the hair out of Jeongguk’s eyes, taking a mental note of needing to make an appointment at the hairdresser's again soon, it's gotten too long. “Sure thing, love. Then you're going to sleep, ‘kay? I'll stay up a bit and help with your project, we can continue tomorrow. Come on, get up now. Your stance is off, your back must be sore.” The older stands up, holding out his hand for the other to take, which he does. They’ve been working on Jeongguk’s school project for two hours now, leaning on the coffee table. Taehyung can't feel his butt.


“No, you shouldn't do it alone. It's my homework, I'll do it before I go to sleep. Just need an extra dose of energy.”


“You're not drinking coffee at eleven in the evening, Jeongguk. Case closed,” Taehyung hardens his voice, palpating his boyfriend's spine, making him straighten up.


Despite all his protesting efforts, Jeongguk ends up defeated and with a mug of hot chocolate in his hand, leaning into the backhug Taehyung initiates. Looks like his boyfriend is an exception when it comes to the Jeon Jeongguk never loses theory.


The last thing he says to the older is a “come to bed soon, dumbass,” before he disappears into his bedroom, leaving Taehyung alone with the work and his thoughts. The older quietly does what he said he would, only noticing the time when it's too late, more specifically three in the morning. Ah, those sweet sweet college years of living this lifestyle, delicious. But at least, he has made large progress with the project, it only needing now a rested mind and a few last touches.

He quietly switches into his pajamas, knowing fully well Jeongguk hates when he skips on the shower but the guilt right now is overtaken by drowsiness, he'll have time for apologising in the morning.


When he lifts the covers to join the younger, Jeongguk stirs but is quick to go back and fall asleep when Taehyung is right next to him, enveloping him in affection and sugary-sweet whispers.


And when he is breathing softly and steadily, already sleeping, again, Taehyung is not too far behind to follow.




“Hey Jisoo, I like your top.” Jeongguk throws himself on the couch, eyeing the shirt the girl is wearing, baby blue with the words fuck you written over it.


Of course, Jimin butts in and is apparently still a bastard, so he says, “I have a name.”


Jisoo facepalms. “Oh my God.”


“Gross. Contradictory to that, in our relationship, we both top,” Taehyung grins, a can of Sprite in his hand, “-all our classes.”


Jeongguk holds out his hand for a high five, smirking when his boyfriend gives him what he is asking for.


“Wait, so you haven't slept together yet?”


The boy freezes for a second upon hearing the question from Hoseok.


“Nope,” comes the answer, simple like that, as Taehyung shrugs, seeming way less affected than his boyfriend is.


“I'm glad. Your make-out sessions are already gross enough.”


And by that, Jeongguk knows there's nothing wrong with taking it slow.




“D’you like them?”


“I-wow. Very. Holy shit, how much did they even cost? And why did you even buy them?”


“It's our half-year anniversary, dude.”


“Don't call me dude, I'm your boyfriend, fucking weirdo. And we agreed that stuff like that is dumb and we'll only celebrate our anniversaries yearly!” Jeongguk pouts, still studying the earrings Taehyung got him. They're beautiful and simple, not too much, and the younger adores them. Maybe he'll never admit but the moment he got them from his boyfriend, they became his favourite, and that's something. Taehyung doesn't need to know, though.


“I just wanted to see your smile, cutie. I don't need anything.” Taehyung kisses him on the cheek but Jeongguk doesn't respond, still too caught up in his thoughts.

“I feel bad now,” he mumbles, making Taehyung snicker at his little pout.


“Don't, bun. I told you I don't need anything, except for you,” he laughs when Jeongguk groans, acting as if it's the cringiest thing he's heard but secretly, he likes it, Taehyung is aware. “You knew it was coming.” He pecks Jeongguk’s mouth, just a soft touch of lips before he pulls away. “Want me to put them on for you?” he raises an expectant brow, nodding when Jeongguk says yes and turns his ear his way. “Have I ever told you how hot you are when you wear earrings?” he grins after the first one is in place and does the same process to the other ear, appreciating the result. “You look good.”


“I can give you a blowjob, y’know. Or something. If you want.” Jeongguk seems still too distracted, the headshake from the other going unnoticed.


“I appreciate the idea,” he smiles, knowing exactly what's going on on the other’s mind, “but I'd rather have something you're okay with as well.” He turns the younger’s head his way with a thumb and index finger, kissing his nose when Jeongguk still doesn't look at him. “Can I have a make-out session, perhaps?”


He gets a sigh. “Yeah. Sorry.”


“Don't worry about it. You're good. Now amaze me, big boy.”


Why is Taehyung so okay? That stays a mystery for the rest of Jeongguk’s life, probably. He'll never figure it out. “Shut up,” he snarls before licking his lips and leaning in, helping Taehyung lay down, head resting on the arm of their couch. Today, it's his turn to fucking dominate, that's the least he gets after Taehyung stabbing him in the back so sweetly. He starts kissing his boyfriend with such intensity, it makes the older let out his cute little sounds, no longer restricted. Taehyung hooks his legs around his waist, killing the distance before the distance kills him and they kiss, more passionately than Taehyung thought they would, but it’s not an unpleasant surprise, nowhere near it. He makes sure to let his boyfriend know how much he enjoys it with smirking against those soft lips, loving the way the only response he gets is a tongue in his mouth.

Jeongguk growls, pulling on Taehyung hair (which earns him another series of moans) before he decides to take things just a bit further than usual. He's not exactly afraid of a little progress, so making his way down Taehyung's neck, not without leaving a road of sloppy kisses along his journey, he sucks on his boyfriend's neck. He might and might not catch the mantra of please please please his boyfriend chants, but it doesn't matter because he marks the skin with hickeys anyway.




“They’re so fucking gross.”


“I know, right? Was so much better when they were only like, two weeks into their relationship. I swear to God. I'm about to puke.”


“Same, I can't believe young little Guk grow up to become this, like-hey!” Jimin raises his voice, offended, nevermind he doesn't really have the right. Beside him is Taehyung with a lapful of Jeongguk, hardcore making out during their movie night. Namjoon and Jimin keep on talking shit, knowing perfectly well the couple can hear them over the soft sighs and definitely not subtle kissing sounds. Gross. And when Jeongguk reaches out to slap Jimin, the older is exaggeratedly affronted.


“You guys, I beg your pardon, but-” Hoseok tries to make them stop, pausing the movie.

Taehyung smirks against Jeongguk’s lips, and says, “Then beg.” He pulls away to see Jeongguk’s grin mirroring his own, letting his boyfriend lean closer and bite his earlobe after that.

Disgusting(ly a “them” thing to do).


Taehyung chuckles and slips his hands under the shirt Jeongguk is wearing, just for the show, enjoying the small shivers he gets. The younger is now long lapping at his neck, smiling into the juncture between Taehyung's neck and shoulder, enjoying the disturbed whines they earn from their friends.


“Okay, that's enough,” Jimin gets fed up and stands up, grabbing Jeongguk’s neck in the perfect way to have him putty in his hands, at his mercy. The boy laughs but obeys Jimin’s will, pulling further and further away from Taehyung, reaching out to hold his hand as a purchase. At that, Jimin groans, the next second he has the little shit in a headlock, completely distancing the two, throwing Jeongguk on the floor. Both idiots are laughing, in spite of the fact that both are getting hit on the chest. Bastards.


“You c’mere and stay for the rest of the movie. What is even wrong with you? It's Marvel, Guk, how can Tae be that much of a distraction?” Hoseok is smiling too, sounding irritated as he pulls the boy closer, throwing his arm over his shoulder in case Jeongguk tries to escape.


“Naww, come on! I was just enjoying myself!” the boy is still laughing, receiving an attack of tickles for his protest, Seokjin joining Hoseok. “He-oh, no, okay, ok-okay, stop! Sto-” he tries and fails miserably, showering in attention and exceptionally enjoying it.


Taehyung watches his boyfriend from the couch, smile the widest, rolling his eyes when Jimin waves a hand in front of him. What an asshole of a best friend. Let's ignore the fact the older is smiling just as wide at him and at Jeongguk.




Surprise, surprise, on their one year anniversary, the pastries and slices of different cakes end up forgotten on the counter, barely touched compared to the usual, the two long lost in each other. Even their gifts for one another is thrown aside along the rush.


Taehyung did try to start the kiss slow, okay? But Jeongguk just makes it impossible not to do more. That's just how their weird way of living works.


“C-Can I, ah, suck you off? Gukkie. Is it okay if I…?”


The groan resembling a fuck, please, yes, does little to go misunderstood.

Taehyung peels himself away from the other’s body, panting and falling to his knees in front of their couch. His hands slowly find their way up on muscular thighs, Taehyung lets himself enjoy the feeling of them under his fingertips a bit, then goes to fumble with Jeongguk’s jeans. Helpful, his boyfriend lifts his hips up, letting out a weak sound when Taehyung pulls down his underwear as well, leaving him exposed.

The older’s mouth waters at the sight, the first time he gets to enjoy the view with this kind of atmosphere surrounding. It's breathtaking, though his past Literature professor would like to debate on using another phrase for that, probably.


He doesn't fuck around - Taehyung is a man on a mission -, he takes Jeongguk’s member into his awaiting mouth, just a tad too fast.


Jeongguk’s scream is worth being a little mean, though upon hearing his lover pant; “Slower, Tae. Slo-ah, slower.” He obliges and warrants Jeongguk’s needs.


He wishes he could see the younger’s expression right now, blissed out and squirming, mouth agape to let his noises be heard. Taehyung does wonders with his tongue, tasting and exploring as much as he can, slowly building up a pace. He takes the respectable size deeper and deeper, till his nose meets Jeongguk’s skin, hollowing his cheeks, swallowing. He bops his head, internally smirking when Jeongguk whimpers. He's so sensitive, Taehyung takes pleasure in being in such control. He does everything he can, using all knowledge he has collected during his messy college days, full of parties and drunk morning regrets. He makes it wet and obscene, the way he likes it, and judging by his moans, the younger does too.


“Fuck, that's-too much, I'm-”


Jeongguk hasn't had intimate contact with anyone save for his right hand for a year now, so all it takes is a bit of deepthroating and almost no teasing for him to be on edge, so easy to please, a mess. He desperately grabs into Taehyung's hair, pulling and whining, a weak attempt - Taehyung wouldn't be stronger if it wasn't for the younger’s state, getting closer and closer to that certain blissful euphoria. It's threatening to come, he is going to come, all it takes is Taehyung large palm under his shirt, close to a nipple, and a swallow around his member.

The older doesn't pull off when Jeongguk pulls at his hair the strongest, collects all he can before sucking in a harsh breath through his nose. He pulls away, eventually, climbing back into Jeongguk’s lap, straddling his thighs and managing to avoid the younger’s softened, sensitive cock.


Jeongguk understands the situation right away when Taehyung looks at him, mouth closed and a brow raised. He curses under his breath before pulling his boyfriend close, mouth against mouth. He lets Taehyung lead him and tastes his own self, taking everything from the older. He doesn't swallow, not just yet, and Taehyung pulls away, now able to talk.


“You don't need to if you don't wanna,” he tells, voice husky. The next moment, however, Jeongguk does gulp it all down, sticking his tongue out to show the elder.

“Fuck.” That's hot, okay. Jeongguk is fucking hot. “Such a good boy. So easy,” Taehyung teases just a tiny bit, not taking it to extremes, barely biting.


“Your turn,” the younger smirks, grabbing Taehyung's hips. For a split second, the boy stays confused, till Jeongguk guides his hips against himself. He tilts his head and lets his lips hover over Taehyung's, mumbling against them; “Grind on my thighs to get off and come in your tight little pants, babe.”


If Taehyung wasn't turned on till this point, he is now.


Jeongguk kisses him, doesn't waste time on starting slowly. He licks into Taehyung's mouth, easily, seizing the control that slipped out of his hands not two minutes ago. Taehyung gets the message, even more so when fingertips dig into his sides, moving his hips to create the friction.

Not going to lie, nobody ever made (or dared to make) Taehyung come like this, just from grinding, and the idea is a wholesome turn-on. Jeongguk is creative, that's for sure - but more importantly, right now, he's fucking hot; Taehyung thinks the small three-letter word fails to deliver the feeling. The younger is kissing his neck, smiling against his throat, drinking in all of the sounds - that he's causing, he reminds.

Taehyung spurs on his hips to move faster, too far from his climax for his liking. He wants to get off and kiss Jeongguk slowly, not driven by the enormous amount of want building up inside. Jeongguk lifts his thigh just a tiny bit, enough to enhance the effect, getting twice as much reaction.

Taehyung whines, out of the added pleasure and the fact that he's still too far from what he needs, so he groans. “Come on, help me. Guk.” His thighs cage Jeongguk’s, not qualified for the job (which means they need to do it more frequently, huh).


“Do it yourself, love. I'm not doing anything. You're just using my body to your own pleasure, hmm?” his voice is an octave lower than normal and Taehyung whines, both at what he says and how he says it.


“Fucking-ah, fucking asshole,” he mutters, grabbing his boyfriend's neck, the first sparks of intense pleasure burning through his veins.


“How does it feel?” the little shit dares to ask, kissing Taehyung's jaw, hands still tightly holding the other. Taehyung curses.


“F-fuck you. ‘s not enough. Come on, p-please, just a hand? Please,” he whines, his voice is uncharacteristically high-pitched, muscles starting to burn, getting light-headed.

Jeongguk doesn't fail to disappoint, the mofo. “Ssh, babe. You're going to finish yourself off, just like this. Don't be selfish now.” His voice is rich of his damn smirk, watching Taehyung pant and close his eyes, supporting himself on Jeongguk’s shoulders as he tries to angle his hips better. When he finds the perfect position - his loudest moan (yet) indicating just that - he forces his legs to keep going.


His orgasm hits him out of nowhere. It's sudden and not the best, not slowly built-up like he likes it. His forehead rests against Jeongguk while he pants, sniffling.


“I came. I fucking came.”


Jeongguk kisses his lips, the initial feverishness nowhere to be found. He caresses the older’s sides, softly, letting him come down from his high.

“That's really hot. Perfect jack-off material.”


Taehyung snorts, despite his state. “Shut up. It was too soon.”


“Really now? Let me quote what a wise man said once,” a peck to his nose, “Such a good boy. So easy.”


Taehyung laughs, his head finding its place in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck. “Dumbass.”




“Where is the instant ramen?”


“We ran out of it, I ate the last one yesterday. Got home too early, you weren't here yet.”


Taehyung tries to calm himself down but he's tired and hungry. He's so going to go off and yell.


“And why didn't you tell me? When we run out of something, you need to tell me or buy some more, what's so hard about that? Fucking idiot,” he shouts for Jeongguk who comes out of his room, brow raised, clueless what just happened. “Tae?”


“Don't fucking Tae me! You know damn well that I'm the one doing the grocery shopping all the damn time, and you just sit on your lazy ass!” his voice is full of venom, though Jeongguk only sighs.


“What got you so worked up? Bad day?”


Taehyung glares at him. “Bad fucking day, Jeongguk.” Oh well, he's really frustrated. The lack of nickname is also a very good indicator.

“Okay, ‘kay. Want me to make something for you to eat?”


Taehyung walks his way to their living room, bumping his shoulder into the other's on purpose. “Our fridge is fucking empty, genius.” He throws himself on the couch, taking the remote into his hand. As he turns the television on, Jeongguk makes his way over to him, leaning over the furniture to run a hand through his boyfriend's hair. “Okay, then I'm gonna do the shopping. You're gonna be fine staying home alone?”


Taehyung slaps his hand away, poker face kept up. “Do whatever you want, I don't give a shit.”


Jeongguk exhales, shaking his head and giving up. In five minutes, he grabs some money and looks through their cupboards, memorising what he'll need to buy.

After his shoes are put on, he tries to close their door as soundlessly as manageable, wondering whether Hoseok is working today at the shop at this time or not.




“Guk? Whatcha doing here?”


“Take a wild guess. This is a supermarket and I'm waiting for the cashier to start moving,” he rolls his eyes, trying hard not to fall into the bad mood Taehyung was in when he left.


“Geez, okay. Usually it's Tae, that's why I was asking.”


“He was hungry and tired when he got home, not a good combo. And we had no food. He kind of got mad, so now I'm here to make it up to him.”


Hoseok's mouth forms an “o” shape in understanding, hands doing his job. “Bad for you, buddy. But you got a pretty good method of how to placate him,” he wiggles his eyebrows.


“I try,” Jeongguk smiles, rolling his eyes, quickly paying for the stuff he bought and saying goodbye to Hoseok.


He chooses the fastest way to get home and when he does, Taehyung is asleep on their couch, pretty much as expected. Jeongguk feels guilty for letting him fall asleep with an empty stomach, so that has him moving.


Half an hour later, Taehyung wakes up to the noises Jeongguk accidentally makes, finding his boyfriend making some real ramen.




Jeongguk jumps a little, making the older smile at him fondly before his boyfriend realises it's only Taehyung.


“Hey,” he tries, gently, afraid of another series of scolding and yells. It doesn't come whatsoever. “Dinner's ready in two, your timing is perfect.”


“Mhmm. Was Hobi working?”


“Yeah.” It's a spare of words, short of speech, and Taehyung sighs at it.

“Hey, Guk. I'm sorry. I did have a bad day and took it out on you. That wasn't nice. I also yelled at you--”


“I can handle it,” the younger cuts him off, preparing their dinner. “It's fine. And you're right, I don't do the shopping as much as I should. But I can handle it. I handled worse.”


“But that wasn't healthy. Doesn't count.”


Jeongguk’s next inhale is a bit shaky, taking a moment to collect himself. “Can we, uh, not talk about this?” he puts down the plate in his hand, instantly making eye-contact. “Just because I used to be, you know, doesn't mean I can't handle it. And just because I was - I'm just gonna say it - fucking abused,” his voice cracks, “doesn't mean you need to play saint. You have all the rights to get mad at me from time to time. I know you wouldn't hurt me anyway.”


Taehyung smiles at him, eyes glinting with unspoken pride. He doesn't need to say a word because Jeongguk knows what he meant to convert into a curve of lips - it's not just the older who can read the other easily but the other way around as well.

Taehyung's dinner is placed in front of him, awfully lonely - Jeongguk is not having his own serving. He simply sits down on the chair by their counter, opposite to Taehyung, head resting on hands.


The older raises a brow. “Where's yours?”


“I'm not hungry.”


Taehyung sighs, knowing look on his face. “We both know I'm going to feed you half of my own, and then you're gonna feel bad for eating mine. D’you really want that?”


Jeongguk laughs, half in disbelief, half in cynicism. “No, I'm not hungry. Just start eating, dumbass.”


Taehyung rolls his eyes, a frequent action of his, before he tries the dish, humming appreciatively after the first swallow. “It's good, you should try it.”


All he gets is a half-assed “I'm glad,” and Jeongguk giving him an unamused look, face getting squished by his hand, careless. Taehyung watches him fondly, wondering how he can be so adorable and an ass at the same time - must be an art of his, a talent.


As his stomach is getting filled, Taehyung's mood gets better and better, with the nap he took, almost perfect. Almost - but it will do till they go to sleep.

Jeongguk’s stomach growls and Taehyung fucking knew it was coming. His next spoonful is only meant for Jeongguk to taste and enjoy, because it is good, actually. And the younger is a stubborn idiot, too, lying way too easily about this kind of thing.


“Open up.”


“It all started when I was four, only a kid-”


“Not what I meant, dumbo. You need food. That you eat. To live. Sounds familiar?” Taehyung snorts, putting on a disapproving face when Jeongguk just huffs, a short sarcastic chuckle. “I just told you I'm not hungry.”


“Stop bullshitting me, I literally heard that emptiness. Can we stop bickering over everything and just agree that you're also human who needs to eat dinner? Come on, bun. Take this.” He lifts his hand a bit and pushes his plate a bit closer to the middle, gesturing for Jeongguk to take the spoonful he's holding.


Of course, Jeongguk accepts it. Taehyung guides it right into his mouth, secretly loving when he can feed Jeongguk, smiling when he hears the younger hum.

“You never listen to me,” he complains, mouth still full, swallowing only after opening his mouth to talk, of course.


“Exaggeration. You just made that up. Come on, another one.”


They do end up each eating the half of Taehyung's serving and Jeongguk does apologise, though the older is nowhere near mad.




“You'd be a good dad.”


Taehyung chokes on his tea, nearly spitting it. Jeongguk quietly snickers at his misery, that little shit.




“I said, you'd be a good dad. I thought you heard for the first time, considering your reaction,” Jeongguk remarks cheekily, sending a flying hand kiss (an overacted copy of Seokjin's) his boyfriend's way.


“Where did that even come from?”


The younger looks away, letting his hand fall back next to his torso. “Yesterday. You and Namjoon's little cousin. While you were playing with him, I watched you from afar. I can't even talk to kids, Tae,” he discloses, tone not exactly cheerful. “You didn't even notice, you were so caught up in being the dude that's good with kids,” he points out, shrugging. “Whatever.”


Taehyung simpers. Jeongguk is just too adorable. “You'd be a perfect dad, Guk. It's different when you raise a kid and when you meet a kid who's being raised by others.” He goes to circle Jeongguk’s waist, getting closer to hug him from behind, not seeing the sheepish smile he causes. “You'd take perfect care of them, would play with them till very late and I'd be the one sending both of you to sleep. You'd learn how to cook more dishes just for them, because I know you're like that, and you'd fail a few times in the beginning but that's fine. I know you'd try your best to take care of them, would help them with school once they're that age, even though you suck at Algebra. And Geometry, too,” he kisses into Jeongguk’s neck, soft and gentle, simply Taehyung. “You'd make sure they grow up in an accepting environment, though you'd be ready to scold if needed. You would wake up just a bit earlier to make them sandwiches for school, and you'd stay up till very late to decorate the Christmas tree just so they see it in all its beauty in the morning.” Jeongguk leans back against him, his weight falling on Taehyung who, like always, holds him securely. “You would make dumb pillow forts with them and would groan together when I announce dinner's ready. You would tell fairytales you just made up when they fall asleep and would leave their room on tiptoes, so so attentive not to wake them up. You'd know when to say those three words, when they need it the most, and you'd learn to say it confidently, assuring them of support. You'd make a perfect dad.”


Jeongguk is long grinning by the time Taehyung finishes his short little monologue, his eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of his boyfriend against him, his deep voice in his ears. The younger doesn't mention how much it affects him - Taehyung is literally promising his future to him. With the you woulds and also I woulds, unconsciously, he's committing his forever to the younger.

Taehyung is so gosh darn beautiful, he has no idea - Jeongguk does, but he has never been good with words. He can only hide the giddy happiness bubbling inside his chest, joyful, content.


“That was gay.”




After a few minutes of silence, Jeongguk breaks it. “We're too young for a kid,” he mumbles, still smiling, in the middle of this temporary euphoria Taehyung creates every day, just for him.


“Damn right we are. We order too much pizza. And you don't do your laundry. We also curse a lot.”


“We should really stop that. It'd be a start.”


Taehyung smirks into Jeongguk’s neck. “Can you say “frick it” without laughing?”


The younger giggles, a beautiful tinkling sound. “Frick no.”




It's winter, a fucking cold nasty bitch - despite that, Jeongguk likes winter. It's his favourite season actually, (okay, that first sentence was quite misleading) - especially December. Christmas and a new year incoming - that's all nice and fun, but even more importantly; it's Taehyung's birthday. He has prepared two gifts; something embarrassing as fuck (read: cute) and something not so…concrete, palpable. If you know what I mean.


“You'll get mine at home, I'm not giving you my present in front of these fuckers.”


That's what Jeongguk said when they celebrated his boyfriend's birthday at Seokjin's. Yoongi's comment of “your dick?”   went ignored, by Jeongguk at least; the others found it funny, somehow.


So now, after they got home just four minutes ago, Jeongguk is too excited and curious about Taehyung's reaction. Though he kind of hates his present, because it's a big piece of cringe, he watches his boyfriend unwrap it gently, careful not to tear the paper. Jeongguk bites his lip, eyes on his boyfriend, intent.


It's a notebook.


Taehyung examines the object, a simple brown cover, seemingly perfectly ordinary.

“What's this, babe?” he grins, teasing lilt in his voice.


“Open it, dumbass.”


Laughing, the older does as told. The first page reads;


Hey Tae,


This fucking thing took me two weeks to finish. You better appreciate it or I'm not letting you wear my black and white hoodie ever fucking again.

So, uh, I copied everything from my old diary (stfu yes i had one), which I started writing after one month we met. Ever since that, every dumb memory of ours is in here, your dumb funfair tickets, some pics, whatever, etc. Ironically, this is the last page I wrote, the only one where I had the willpower to use capital letters and write somewhat readable. This is what you signed up for, babe.


Anyways, I hope you won't throw it out of the window as soon as you read the first one. That's pretty much it.


Still embarrassed,



Taehyung gasps, looking up at the other for answers. His boyfriend only shrugs, blushing, and Taehyung turns the page.


It reads,


2016. 01. 17.


dear diary,

forget what i always thought about people, because there are still some pretty good members existing in our fucking society. what i mean is,

today (more like a month ago, but whatever) two dudes came up to me and sat down at my table. one of them was fucking handsome, kind and easy to talk to, the other was Taehyung:’)

(he made fun of my orange juice, he deserved that.)

whatever, they're the first ones to approach me since such a long time. since…you-know-what happened, my self-confidence whatsoever dropped to level zero. although, these two idiots changed…lots of things. everything.

he’s gonna come home soon tho, so i should go and pretend to sleep now, good night.


Taehyung turns a bit more pages than normal, peeking into it.


2016. 03. 12.


dear diary,

hoseok is a piece of shit, no joke. my day started with him calling me ‘they need more pineapple, quick, i should buy some’. who does that, seriously.

jimin, seokjin and taehyung were in it too, of course. tae was the only one who apologised, though. he even bought me pistachio ice cream (my least favourite) but i ate it all up. the sacrifices i take for him, istg.

jimin keeps on talking about this non-binary someone (his new crush, are they). not that i have anything against them but min can be so fucking annoying. i already know they are perfect even before i meet them and that's some stressful pressure right there. i hope they're gonna dump jimin (not really but), he needs to shut up.

it's getting hotter and hotter and soon i wont be able to hide my bruises with simple clothing. i dont wanna sweat into my hoodies. i hate the make-up season, anytime i go to the drugstore to buy foundation, people keep looking at me. even the cashier eyes me weirdly after the nth time i said its for my gf. mofos.

whatever, good night.


(p.s. i cant sleep. hes not home yet and its 1 am. hes so gonna be drunk and thats never good. i fucking hate this. i hate this whole situation and lowkey myself for being in it. what do i do?)


((p.p.s. he almost broke my nose.))


There are some tears gathering in the corner of Taehyung's eyes but he only reads further, finding a pretty familiar date in front of him, not one he likes to recall. 


2016. 04. 01.


dear diary,


i just got home and thank god hes not here. i fell out with taehyung, we fought pretty bad. he said he'd pick me up from the gym but didnt, and i was angry because he promised. i waited for him till i was completely damped, it was fucking pouring outside.

so when i brought it up, we both said some fucked up bullshit, and i hate myself for it. does he hate me too? did i fuck it up?

he said i was attention seeking. (it was pretty much out of nowhere but) he was maybe right. isn't that sad? or a better word, pathetic?

namjoon tried to come after me but i told him it was fine. it really isnt. what do i do now? how do i apologise? tae probably doesnt want to see me rn. or for the next eternity. id understand.

whatever, gn.


(((p.s. i cut myself and freaked out, so i only got to two. i need to clean up before he gets home and sees it, hes gonna get mad, but i threw up just earlier seeing so much red. what do i do?)))


Taehyung feels his heart in his throat. Is this what Jeongguk had to go through? 


2016. 05. 19.


dear diary,


theres so much shit that happened the past few days. i was at the hospital so i couldn't write, but now im here.

so, exactly four days ago, he beat me up. again. this time tho, he had a knife and threatened to kill me. i was scared shitless.

maybe thats why i texted tae when he left. i dont even know why. i never did that before. why him, anyway? i have no idea. maybe because i know hes a medicine minor. or maybe its something else.

he rushed all the way here, just bc of me, i swear i felt so bad. hes too nice to me.

even tho i told him not to, he called an ambulance to my place. but before that, he tried to take care of most of my injuries. remember his taekwondo thing? okay, i was wrong, hes pretty cool when he does it. he knocked that crazy fucker out immediately.


i need to go to a psychologist now, my first session is tomorrow. i cant believe its… over. tae offered me to move in with him - i hope i didnt look too desperate when i accepted it.

i dont know whats next. i feel empty.

its dumb. good night.


But finally, Taehyung finds something that makes him smile, as he turns pages like fifty times more than he should. There's also a picture, a blurry one but treasured nonetheless; Jeongguk is holding the camera and Taehyung is the one to strike a weird pose. He remembers that day - it was just the two of them, he finally went to the bowling alley with the younger. Jeongguk goes there frequently enough to be able to smash Taehyung into the ground - competitive, adorable brat. 


2017. 02. 28.


dear diary,


i cant believe this idiot is my boyfriend. i cant believe tae is my boyfriend. ever since july 14th, but still. hes such an idiot.

hes also evil, worse when allied with jisoo. theyre a bad combo, even jimin agrees.

we went to the bowling alley later (i won ofc), he fucking finally let me pay. he really thinks im broke af.

despite that, i...feel good. like, really good. next to him. its nothing like the… previous one. tae is a good guy. (i think im falling in love with him.)  ill need to buy new clothes tho, hes stealing all mine. i only forgive him bc he makes me happy. which is cheesy but true. dumbass.

whatever, good night.


Taehyung has had enough.


“C’mere,” he sniffs, extending his arm towards Jeongguk. The boy laughs, sitting down on his lap after his present is thrown aside, rolling his eyes in a fond manner when his boyfriend hugs him tight as soon as he lets him.


“Do you like it?” the younger is giggling and Taehyung holds him close, breathing in his scent, an indescribable aroma of home, nodding. That's all the response the younger needs.


“Are you sure you want me to read it? It's your diary, your emotions, all that. Do you really-”


“Yes,” Taehyung is interrupted, Jeongguk playing with his hair. “You know I would've bought something expensive shit rather than have sore hands and fingers for two weeks if I didn't want you to know. My side of the story.”


Taehyung tilts his head to kiss him, and he kisses him soft, extremely so. “You're perfect.”


“And you need to start writing your own diary if you want to top that, honey.”


Taehyung laughs against his mouth, adjusting the younger by his waist with Jeongguk’s help. “You're perfect and all mine.” He kisses the other again, more passionately this time. “D’you want me to suck you off?”


Jeongguk chuckles. “I had something else in mind for tonight,” he hints, wiggling a bit to make himself comfortable and Taehyung's pants tighter.


You suck me off?” the older guesses, smirking as he starts leaving small, fast pecks against the other’s mouth, till he's giggling.


“Not exactly.” Jeongguk runs a hand down Taehyung's side, hand slipping under his shirt, provoking. “How ‘bout…we make love?”


Taehyung's change in mood is instant when he pulls away. Jeongguk doesn't let him speak up, though.

“Tae, I want it. Make love…anally. Dick-in-butt sex. Penetration. You know.” He cups the older’s face, kissing his cheek, squirming in his lap. “I'm ready. I want you. Hundred per cent,” he whispers, seductive - it takes all the willpower in Taehyung not to jump on him. Instead, he nods, asking,

“Okay, okay. D’you wanna top me? I'm fine with anything you want. If you're really ready.”


“I am. I don't want to top, though.” He kisses Taehyung's nose, “Maybe next time. Right now, you should fuck me.”


“I don't fuck, I make love to my boyfriend.”


“Sure. Then make love to me.”


The older doesn't rush it. He gently kisses the other once, twice, and more, till Jeongguk is a whining and whimpering mess. His hands fall to his ass, squeezing it, enjoying the moan he earns before he holds his boyfriend tight, secure, standing up. Jeongguk may be the one going a bit too frequently to the gym (not as much as he used to though) but Taehyung is not weak. He can manhandle the younger just perfect.


He makes their way to his bedroom (they both sleep in his bed, it's bigger and they can, okay, thank you very much) but not before he stops just in front of the door, pushing Jeongguk against the wall. They make out like that for a bit, the younger’s legs around Taehyung's waist, arms around his neck, chest to chest, heart to heart.


Although Taehyung is not weak, his arms do get sore, so he is soon to have Jeongguk on his bed, all spread-out, watching him.


Taehyung smiles at him, so love-struck by the sight. Jeongguk's eyes are glassy, expression soft and full of want when Taehyung joins him, one hand supporting himself from next to Jeongguk’s head, his other squeezing down on thick thighs. Jeongguk’s legs drop open slightly for him and the older growls at how he is already beginning to tent in his shorts. With just a few flicks and swipes of his tongue, a bit of manhandling, he has Jeongguk melting back against the sheets, mouth opening wide so Taehyung can suck at his tongue and bite his bottom lip.


“Just kissing makes you this hard?” Taehyung mutters, pressing another biting kiss to the other’s lips, taking his swollen flesh between his sharp teeth before he tugs.


Jeongguk's half-lidded eyes glisten as they take in the other’s equally red, kiss-swollen lips, no doubt both looking already fucked out before they’ve even done anything.


“Fuck you.”


“You got that one wrong this time, babe.”


Taehyung smirks, though his eyes still have a certain unsure look in them, ready to get off of Jeongguk the very second his boyfriend tells him to.

He kisses the younger, feverish, biting, arms snaking to grab the hem of his shirt. Jeongguk gets the message, pulls away while Taehyung undresses him, throwing his own shirt away right after his boyfriend is laying before him again, half-naked.

He fails to suppress the urge to reach out, taking a nipple into his care. It makes Jeongguk jump, squirming, surprising his own self with his harsh reaction. Trying to bite his lips in order to keep the sounds for himself, he closes his eyes, knowing damn well Taehyung is too much of a bastard not to take advantage of him.


And he is right. The next second, lips are latched over his other nipple, eyes rolling back into his head, his intention of staying quiet long forgotten. He is letting Taehyung know how much pleasure he delivers, vocally, and he's sure his boyfriend is too smug about it, however, he can't help it.


“Tae-ah, g-go a bit s-slower.”


The older pulls away from his chest, going up to kiss him, reassuring. One of his hands caresses his side, close to a ticklish sensation, slowly getting nearer and nearer to the younger’s pants.

“Can I take this off?” He plays with Jeongguk’s belt, clumsily undoing it after a nod. “You're so good to me, baby,” Taehyung murmurs, eyes going wide at the realisation what he just said. He panics that he fucked up his opportunity, but Jeongguk beats him to it - the boy moans, loud, as if it was the petname itself evoking it (or was it the praise? Maybe both). Taehyung is so ready to apologise but the words get stuck in his throat, staring at Jeongguk with wide eyes. Did he…like it?


“Say it again.”


He definitely liked it.


“Baby. My baby,” Taehyung grins, palming the bulge in the younger’s pants, drinking in the little sounds escaping his boyfriend's lungs. “Just mine, isn't that right?” He's not expecting any kind of answer, considering that Jeongguk is too far gone for someone that still has his pants on. He gets a mewl resembling a yeah anyway, Jeongguk’s last crumbs of focus and reasonability. Taehyung eyes him, so so fond, before he kisses him, again.


“You can take my pants off,” Jeongguk mumbles against his lips, feeling the smirk Taehyung is sporting, “You're enjoying this too much.”


“I am.”




“That's correct.”


Kissing the younger one last time, Taehyung sits up to pull his pants off at a teasingly slow pace, letting Jeongguk get used to the idea of wearing less and less clothing.


“Would it be better if I took my underwear off first?” he questions, hand already reaching for his own pants to be thrown aside.


“Yeah. Yeah, okay. Please.”


Five seconds later, in all his naked glory, the older goes back to taste Jeongguk’s tongue again, one more time. He is in no rush, only acts with permission or upon Jeongguk’s pleading - it's their first time together, after one and a half years of being in a relationship and Taehyung is not going to act selfish and do as he pleases, Jeongguk is more important than a temporary satisfaction with regret following after.


“How are you feeling?” he noses Jeongguk’s neck, sucking a few red marks into the skin there. His reward is an appreciative sigh.


“Good. I want more,” the younger is only whispering, though Taehyung is close enough to catch each and every syllable. “C-can you…?”


“Can I what, baby?” he emphasises the petname and Jeongguk breaks character, chuckling at it, at how his boyfriend is taking advantage of his obvious weakness.


“Can you eat me out?” he says in the moment of newfound confidence, more bravely than he would have just a snap of a finger ago.


“Fuck,” the older gulps. “Yeah. Yeah, I can.”


He makes quick work of pulling Jeongguk’s boxers down, kissing him one last time before he goes to, well, appreciate those god-like thighs the way they deserve.

Jeongguk is a whiny mess at the end of it, and only then does he move on.


Jeongguk lifts his head up from the pillow and looks down between his legs. Each of his thighs (all marked up) are being held open by one of Taehyung’s arms, and the strength he can see in Taehyung’s biceps as he holds on has Jeongguk dropping his head back to the pillows, the visual too much.


Taehyung sits up, places Jeongguk’s thighs over the outside of his own and just- he just looks at him. He's staring down between the younger’s spread legs in silence, and Jeongguk’s cock twitches for attention, getting shy by the second. The concentration doesn't leave Taehyung’s face as he places both hands on the insides of Jeongguk’s thighs, slowly pushing his legs further apart, and Jeongguk feels his entire body burn with embarrassment, though he doesn't want the other to stop.


"So fucking pretty."


Without warning, Taehyung leans down, pushes his legs up, and presses his mouth to his hole, no teasing, no warning, no nothing. Jeongguk jerks, gritting his teeth as Taehyung works his mouth on him, occasionally stopping to lick all the way to the tops of his balls and suck at the skin, that little bastard doing wonders with his tongue. He eats him out like he can't get enough of Jeongguk, and the younger feels too good to care that he is making sounds he's never heard in a voice he doesn't recognize. Especially when Taehyung presses his tongue past his rim, especially then.


“Fucking--holy shit.”


That's Taehyung's sign to pull away, the motherfucker. He ignores Jeongguk’s protests and kisses his stomach before coming up to him again, not for a kiss this time (nobody is fooled by that, okay) but the lube. Typically, it's in the bottom drawer of his bedside table, of course it is. Beside the condoms, not a surprise.


“Do you wanna use protection?” Taehyung smirks.


“Why would you say it like that?” Jeongguk whines, for a completely different reason than before. “I don't even want to be hard right now. My dick is betraying me.”


“Sorry, the author hates battology.”




“Nothing. You wanna use a condom?" the older asks before adding as an afterthought, "I'm clean.”


“Yeah, me too. I don't,” Jeongguk finally gets it out, shy persona back at it again with the stupid blush on his neck. Stupid embarrassment.


“‘Kay. Should we move on or not yet?”


“You can finger me now if that's what you're asking.”


Taehyung narrows his eyes, suddenly grabbing Jeongguk’s cock, awfully neglected and hard. Jeongguk immediately shuts up.

“So vulgar.” He strokes his dick firmly, setting a fast pace. His plan is to leave him hanging just the last second, dissatisfied and desperate, also probably very frustrated.


What he doesn't expect is for Jeongguk to be already on edge, after hardly a minute of jerking him off and leaving kisses across his chest. So the younger comes, pretty fast compared to himself - even Jeongguk is slightly surprised, his wide eyes indicating nothing else.


“That's all it takes?” Taehyung mumbles, even more turned on now, the weirdo he is.


“Sorry.” Jeongguk hides behind his hands, voice quiet. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”


“Hey, it's fine.” Taehyung grabs both of his wrists, trying to look at him in the eyes. “You're so good for me. You did so well, baby. Came for me so easily.”


The other lets his hands be pulled away, eyes full of unsure hope. “You're not…mad?” Taehyung sees the old Jeongguk in him, who went through so much, too much, constantly afraid. He hates the boy's past boyfriend, but he hates his own self even more for being so late.


“It's fine, love. You're perfect.” It's these times that he forgets their never-ending circle of teasing, the playful bickering; when Jeongguk shows this side of him. When things get serious without showing in the situation.

Taehyung can only throw compliment after compliment, till Jeongguk is reassured fully - it takes a few minutes but Taehyung manages. He takes care of his boyfriend perfectly.


“You good?” He asks, constantly leaving pecks on the younger’s soft features.


“Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that.”


“It's fine. You're fine. Do you need a safe word?”


There's no hesitation in Jeongguk’s voice. “No. I trust you.”


Taehyung smiles. “Okay.”


After that, they're quick to fall back into the storm of lust and need and everything that's them, a carnal want, trust that cannot be queried.


Fingers awaiting in front of Jeongguk’s hole, already lubed up - it took barely ten seconds -, Taehyung asks one more time, “Ready?” Jeongguk nods. Taehyung shakes his head. “Say it. I want to hear you say it.”


Jeongguk rolls his eyes but appreciates the request very much. “I'm ready.”


It's not an unknown sensation. There's nothing new about the feeling when Taehyung's middle finger presses against the ring of muscle, so wet and cold, carefully and exaggeratedly slow. Jeongguk’s hand flies up to hold onto the older, searching for physical support because, even though he's not a virgin, it's been way too long for him to be comfortable, uneasy. It's almost like his first time, aside from knowing what will come - Taehyung sees the furrow of brows immediately, taking Jeongguk’s hand into his own, not mentioning the slight pain he feels when the younger squeezes it, hard.


He’s barely one knuckle in when Jeongguk hisses, groaning,

“Shit, Tae. G-gimme time. I just need to. Uh.”


His boyfriend understands thankfully. He leans down to kiss him softly, trying to convert as much reassurance into the small display of affection as he can. He gets it - being on the receiving end is not just simply about taking it up the butt but there's also a psychological side to it, the contra to simply enjoying being the bottom; it's not easy to let another just be in control, let one's lover take them apart, having to show a vulnerable side like this. Taehyung is surprised Jeongguk wanted to start with bottoming right away, he was expecting a bit slower pace towards that. He's fine with Jeongguk topping him (understatement), he has been wishing for it, for the intimacy since their relationship started, though he respects what the younger wants and needs; time, in this case. He's willing to satisfy himself alone for the next hundred years if it meant for Jeongguk not to feel pressured about this.


Approximately one minute later, or less - who the fuck cares about time -, he's brought back to reality. “Okay, move,” the younger snaps him out of his thoughts, wiggling his ass. “You can move, Tae.”


The older complies, slowly easing his way till his finger is completely inside, he watches Jeongguk’s every change in his expression, looking for a sign to stop - he finds none. It's only Jeongguk, all closed eyes and rapid heartbeat, chest heaving in a fast rhythm. Looking kind of overwhelmed. And he's still so beautiful, regardless.


Taehyung has a moment of doubt, questioning whether this is all a good idea - it's still a seemingly heedless chance taken, and Taehyung is falling deeper and deeper into his ocean of uncertainty, he's choking mentally, on the verge of going all the way back to erase the progress they made.


“Tae.” The younger opens his eyes, finding the other’s. “I thought I told you to move, no?” He hisses, eyes hinting danger as he pulls Taehyung closer to himself by his hand, other arm wrapping around his neck. His orbs are still boring into the older’s, nevermind the small distance.


“I know, Guk, it's just-”


“Stop thinking for one goddamn second,” he's cut off, and Jeongguk lets go of his neck, arm falling beside him. “I said I wanted this. Trust me this much, at least.”


Taehyung smiles, partly at his own self, partly at the fact how easily Jeongguk makes him fall in love more. He doesn't say anything before he leans down to kiss his boyfriend, again, tasting just Jeongguk on his tongue.

“I trust you more than you could imagine,” he whispers, moving his finger inside Jeongguk, accidentally brushing against his prostate, not significantly enough for Jeongguk’s eyes to roll back but it has him gasping, and Taehyung drinks up all the precious reactions he gets.


“So, fucking, ethereal,” Taehyung emphasises every word with a kiss to Jeongguk’s chest, his finger pulling out only to thrust right back in, slowly enough for Jeongguk to relax. The younger concentrates on the sensation, so familiar yet distant, something he hasn't experienced in a while. However, Taehyung's slow pace and distracting touches do much for Jeongguk to feel more at ease, soon sucking in harsh breaths due to the pleasure it delivers rather than pain.


“Add another,” he swallows, eyes falling shut. Taehyung nods, even though Jeongguk doesn't see it, can only feel lips pressed against his lower abdomen, dangerously close to where he needs some friction. Although Taehyung is willing to provide that, when he kisses the tip of Jeongguk’s cock, the younger whines and pushes him away,

“N-no. Just fingers.” He may be just a bit of a masochist, torturing himself till the edge, only letting himself enjoy the way Taehyung's finger feels inside, rubbing against his walls. His voice is nothing like the usual, airy and high - his boyfriend feels a sense of satisfaction spread in his chest, warm and sweet, that Jeongguk trusts him enough to show this side of him.


“Okay. I'm adding a second.”


It stings. A lot. There are tears escaping from Jeongguk’s fragile control, at the corner of his eyes and Taehyung barely did anything. But it stings, a lot, especially at first.


It takes a few kisses (read: not just a few) and sweet whispers in Taehyung's low, soft voice but he ends up writhing in pleasure anyway, though it takes a while of slow thrusts and the hot atmosphere of unconditional trust to have him like that. Less time than what Taehyung expected, though.


“Third one.”


“Isn't that a bit too fast, cap?”


Jeongguk laughs, such a contrast to the situation, “I don't take no as an answer, soldier.”




“If you don't fuck me like you're supposed to right at this moment, I'm gonna feed you with your own dick.”


Taehyung opens the bottle of lube, laughing. “Can't even threaten me right, are you really that gone?”


Jeongguk’s only answer is a whine if it could be taken as such. Taehyung understands, though, and doesn't tease him any further, he does as he's told.


When his fingers are fully inside Jeongguk, the younger whimpers, not necessarily out of pleasure. He extends his arms, asking for affection and Taehyung gives him everything, kisses him, hand caressing his side.




“I’m here,” Taehyung comforts. “Baby. I'm right here.” He squirts more lube against where his fingers are entering slowly, and Jeongguk feels the slippery cold of it against his balls, his thighs, his ass, his cock. There's lube everywhere and Taehyung just called him baby and Taehyung hasn't called him baby in such a long time till just a few minutes ago and fuck, fuck, Jeongguk likes it, he really likes it.


“Relax, Guk.”


“I’m trying, okay.” There’s a mild bite to his response, not like it has any effect on Taehyung.


“Ssh, baby. Look at me.” A distraction, or at least an attempt at a distraction, the older kisses any skin he can find near his lips, a soft touch but good enough for Jeongguk to concentrate on it. “You’re so beautiful,” a pause to watch Jeongguk hum, pleased, “and you have a praise kink.”


“Fuck yes I do, you dumbass bitch.”


Taehyung laughs. That’s not what one would imagine hearing during their first time but it’s just so Jeongguk (and maybe the cockiness he picked up long ago from Seokjin or Jimin or maybe even Taehyung), the older wouldn’t have it any other way.


It’s probably his way of getting rid of the frustration anyway, trying to forget about the pain the stretch has him go through. Taehyung is also doing a good job, erases the last thoughts of discomfort in Jeongguk’s mind when he kisses his stomach, right above his navel, then a nipple before his jaw becomes the next object of his affection.


After a while and of course, Jeongguk’s pleading, he starts moving while still peppering kisses against tan skin, basically any surface he finds unblemished. And, as expected, it takes just a few for the younger to become awfully comfortable, now back to enjoying every single touch, the way Taehyung’s slender fingers work inside him, the softness of lips that’s just so good at soothing the last crumbs of the pain away. And Jeongguk loses himself to it.


“Tae,” he breathes, voice airier than he would like to remember. “Fuck me.”


The older smiles for the nth time that night - be it pure smugness or just him being fond of the other - and gazes into those two dark orbs that hold a promise of his forever. “I am, pretty.” Throwing that petname in the conversation is so worth it, especially when Jeongguk literally purrs at it, with only one thing separating him from utter satisfaction - Taehyung. He’s still a tease and Jeongguk does not like to be teased (not this much, at least).


“Don’t make me repeat myself, Kim. You either do as I say or I’m going to get off on my own and you’re going to just fucking watch," the younger hisses and the way he looks at his boyfriend tells that he’s not kidding.


Taehyung laughs, beyond amused. "Easy there." Even though Jeongguk is the one being prepped, getting ready to completely give his everything to Taehyung, he’s not letting go of the control completely. It’s okay, though, because Taehyung likes their little game of fighting for the dominance (he’ll have Jeongguk submitting soon anyway) - likes the feeling of still battling for the upper hand when it’s obvious he’s the one tonight to have it.


He complies, however, pulling his fingers out and the bottle of lube is clicked open for the last time that night, right before Taehyung throws it somewhere near, coating his cock and hissing, biting his lip.


“Fuck. You’re hot.”


There goes that little dominating side of Jeongguk, drowned by the bigger part of him that wants to just fall apart and enjoy this. He’s not one to blame, though, Taehyung stroking himself really is a sight to see, his expression is just a bonus - one that Jeongguk finds (and probably anyone with eyes would) utterly and immensely erotic.


Taehyung opens his eyes (when did he even close them?) and it’s full of lust, restricted but burning, he leans down to hover above Jeongguk; one of his hands guides his dick to Jeongguk’s stretched entrance, the other is supporting him from the side of the younger’s head. He dives in for a kiss, gently adding pressure to Jeongguk’s hole, waiting till his boyfriend whimpers and begs him, shy and feeling small.

Like always, he indulges him, takes care of Jeongguk and slowly starts pushing in, sucking in a harsh breath. His muscles tighten, eyes forced open to watch Jeongguk, constantly looking for a sign to stop - he notices one in the form of a hiss and an arched back, so he freezes. Jeongguk appreciates it, arms instinctively wrapping around Taehyung’s neck and he lifts his head just a bit, enough to kiss the other’s nose; a soft gesture, in the middle of sex, unprepared and affectionate - he likes the way Taehyung’s features soften at it.


“You good?”


“Yeah,” Jeongguk verifies, “it’s kinda overwhelming.” Taehyung opens his mouth to speak but the younger beats him to it. “But I like it. It’s nice,” a pause, “it’s you.”


Taehyung is just so fond, endeared and amazed at the same time, it’s pretty hard to put into words; literally impossible to describe. There’s no amount of anything that’s immense enough to deliver the feeling of the size of his emotions, strong and unconditional, still in awe. Instead of trying to tell Jeongguk about it, he just says,

“You’re perfect.” He wipes his hand that was holding his member into the sheets, brushing the hair out of Jeongguk’s eyes right after, breathing the same air, close but not close enough. “What did I do to deserve you?”


The younger snorts. “Guess the stars really aligned for you.” Then he adds; “You can move.”


Taehyung does, not before he rolls his eyes and kisses the idiot, but he moves, Jeongguk spilling little ahs all the way till he’s bottomed out, breathing ragged. The younger is just so extremely tight and warm, he starts to fear he’s not going to last like this - the sight of Jeongguk, panting, eyes fallen shut and teeth biting into his lip; it’s similar to one of Taehyung’s wet dreams, the older is highkey ashamed to realise.


Instead of staring at Jeongguk for another ten minutes, Taehyung goes to kiss up his neck - with the younger’s head thrown back, he has perfect access that Jeongguk warrants. He licks a stripe up his skin only to go back and bite gently at the column of his throat, lapping at the sensitive area. Jeongguk’s little gasps and broken noises are what Taehyung lives for, smirking, definitely smug about the fact that he’s the reason behind it all. All it takes is a few minutes spent like this for Jeongguk to start whining.




The older doesn’t pull away, aims for his jawline instead, kissing just below it, then coming up to take an earlobe into his mouth, humming. “What do you need, babe?”


The move of his hips is an obvious hint.


“Don’t t-tease.”


Taehyung is enamoured. “Okay.” He's smiling as he pulls out, slowly of course, calming his breathing before he pushes right back in, still awfully slow, careful. Jeongguk whimpers, catching the older’s attention with a small sound, Taehyung is so ready to apologise but the expression his boyfriend has on stops him, eyes rolled back and his front teeth biting into his lower lip, he’s ethereal. Taehyung wonders how he got so lucky.

Panting, Jeongguk focuses his eyes to look at the male above him, pupils blown, a smirk makes it to his lips to take over.

“Show me what you got, big boy.”


Taehyung simpers, pulling his hips away from the other’s warmth except for this time, his next move is definitely not slow, nowhere near it. He slams right into Jeongguk’s prostate, the younger is seeing stars, the smirk he was wearing just half a second ago vanished. Taehyung kisses his mouth, murmuring something resembling “You feel so good, baby.” And he grabs the back of the boy’s thick thighs with both hands, bringing it to Jeongguk’s chest, grinning when a small shit is heard. However, his next thrust is lacking speed once again, receiving a disapproving grunt, Taehyung leans down to rest his forehead against Jeongguk’s, eyes falling shut.


“Wha-what are you doing?” the younger whispers, tilting his face to kiss the corner of Taehyung’s lips.

All he gets is a rather cheesy answer, one that he doesn’t really like to hear; “I’m making love to my boyfriend.” Taehyung pulls out, “Slow,” he pushes right back in, his thrust not violent enough to hit Jeongguk’s sensitive bound of nerves, “-and sensual.”


Jeongguk stares at him blankly, even though his eyes hurt from looking at Taehyung so closely. “Ew.”


The older snorts and opens his eyes, a playful glint present, he kisses Jeongguk’s nose, then lips, easily opening up and getting permission to explore what he knows like the back of his hand - he likes it, needs it, craves for it nonetheless, because Jeongguk always feels like a paradox; old and new, slow and eager.


“I told you not to tease, Tae. Please,” he’s whining like a child, not an unusual method of his, somehow always getting his way. This time is not any different. (Taehyung is a big softie, he can’t resist Jeongguk.)


He sighs against those familiar, soft lips, biting - a tease -, before he picks up a little pace, speeding up not entirely but enough to satisfy his boyfriend. Jeongguk lets out delicious little moans, broken and uncollected, mixing it with a little bit of cursing here and there. His arms come up automatically to wrap around Taehyung’s neck and he licks into the older’s mouth, muffling his sounds like that - Taehyung sees right through him. So, he pulls away, trying hard not to be affected by the whine he earns, “I want to hear you, Guk.”


The younger narrows his eyes, momentarily catching the last glimpses of his composure, still a cheeky brat. “Make me.”


Now that, ladies and gentlemen (and non-binary pals), that is Taehyung’s clue to stop worrying about hurting the younger. It’s pretty much obvious that Jeongguk doesn’t want to go slow and build up to it, greedy little thing he is. So Taehyung doesn’t go easy on him, that shows in his next thrust - and Jeongguk screams, loud and high-pitched, overwhelmed by the sudden change. Taehyung smirks down at him, straightening up just a bit to find the right angle and start pounding into Jeongguk. The younger is just so fucking warm and unbelievably tight, Taehyung is going to lose it. And no, he can’t have that, even if it’s his birthday - coming undone is not going to be his thing after their first time. So, even if he can’t drag this out longer, he’s not going to leave Jeongguk unsatisfied like that.


His slams are forceful, hitting the younger’s prostate occasionally. He watches Jeongguk fall apart, not even trying to resist the urge to kiss him, whispering sweet praises, loud enough to be heard over the sound of skin slapping against skin. Jeongguk keens at each and every one of them, not having anything to comment with his long-gone smug attitude - Taehyung is fucking it out of him.


Jeongguk is getting wrecked just like that, lost and falling deeper into pleasure, giving his mind a break. It’s too fucking much. Taehyung’s cock is so thick and hot, ramming into his tight hole, ruining him in a way he craves. Lube drips down to Taehyung’s balls and the soft, wet skin hits his ass with each thrust, an obscene, nasty sound accompanied by the moans spilling from him. His lips stay parted as he pants, unable to hold back the delirious little noises he makes, drunk on pleasure.

The long wait of fully giving his everything into their relationship was worth it. Almost one and a half years - he’s kind of sorry it took that long but he knows Taehyung’s reaction already. It took lots of trust and time to let Taehyung have him like this, right where the older wants him, getting fucked ruthlessly. Despite that; despite the merciless speed and harsh pounding, Taehyung is still leaving kisses against his skin, on his thighs, his chest, his neck, the only presence of softness.


And yeah, they have given the other handjobs several times, have blown the other more than one would like to count but this, is different. He has barely any control, Taehyung has the upper hand - Jeongguk thought it would feel unsafe and weird once but right now, it’s nothing but reassuring to know, Taehyung is still taking care of him like that, is still warranting all Jeongguk’s needs without a second thought.


It feels good, not just because Taehyung fills him to the brim and hits his sensitive bound of nerves (though he can’t deny that it’s fucking amazing), it’s also the sensation itself, the awareness that Taehyung doesn’t take advantage of him. Jeongguk is trusting the right person.


The older’s thrusts are getting faster, a bit desperate, now kissing Jeongguk, swallowing his moans in spite of his earlier statement of wanting to hear him. The younger reaches his hand towards his weeping member, neglected and crying for release but Taehyung bats it away, growling; making Jeongguk weak just like that. He’s so easy, he would get embarrassed if it wasn’t for the desperate need to come.


“T-Tae, please. I wanna, hyung, wanna come. C-can I..?” Jeongguk is barely forming a coherent sentence, and Taehyung is going to bust a nut if he hears his boyfriend asking for permission one more time.


“Y-Yeah. C’mon, baby, come for me.” He hides his face in the crook of the other’s neck, slamming into him particularly hard, cursing when Jeongguk does just what he told him to, clenching around him impossibly tight.

The younger screams, voice broken with syllables of Taehyung’s name falling out of his mouth, nearly blacking out for a second. The older keeps on fucking into him, now even more desperate to finish himself off before Jeongguk whimpers from the oversensitivity.

Surprisingly, Jeongguk helps with that way more than Taehyung would have ever expected - still haven’t come down from his high completely, hugging Taehyung close, the older hears perfectly those words the younger mumbles, merely saying it like that;


“I love you.”


Taehyung’s heart skips a beat before it starts to beat faster and faster from the newfound source of adrenaline, eyes gone wide. It’s only after a second that he realises; he came, right after hearing those Three Words with capital letters - it was an emotional boost, he guesses, perfect to make him finish without much effort, filling Jeongguk up.

Taehyung pulls away to look at him, sniffling; Jeongguk’s face is perfectly neutral, eyelids fallen shut. He probably didn’t even realise he said it, judging from the way his expression turns into one of confusion as soon as he opens his eyes.


“Tae..?” he starts gently. “Why are you crying? Was it that good?” he grins but upon seeing Taehyung wipe away the tears he had no control of, without laughing, Jeongguk is getting worried. (Plus, he still hasn’t pulled out of Jeongguk which makes the situation a bit weirder.)


“I-Guk. Did you just hear yourself?” The older shows a smile, new tears replacing the old ones but they’re happy, out of emotional ecstasy. “Do you have any idea of what you just told me?” his voice cracks, smiling like an idiot. His heart is beating so fast, too fast, too rapid and Taehyung needs to remind himself to breathe because he’s not going to die out of happiness, not right now at least. He still has a life to spend with Jeongguk.


Jeongguk is not dumb, he can piece it together by himself pretty easily. Eyes gone wide, he gapes, opens and closes his mouth like a fish, nothing coming out. He stares at Taehyung’s naked chest blankly before his chin if lifted by a hand, forced to look into the other’s eyes.


And Taehyung stares at him, returning the eye-contact, repeating the very same eight letters over and over in his head, smiling and not giving a fuck about the fact that he’s still crying. 

It's in that moment when he realises - he may have known all along.


Everyone has their own image of what happiness is supposed to be; Taehyung will not lie, this was not what he used to determine as euphoria.

At the age of ten, he tried to grasp the notion of it, of paradise maybe; he will fall in love with a nice girl and end up with kids, then grandkids, maybe settle down at the end of a small village, or maybe next to the sea, perfect symbol of peace and serenity.

Nobody told him about the forthcoming journey of figuring out what an identity is - and more importantly, what his identity is. Nobody warned him that it's going to take this long and in the end, he will have to accept the fact his picture of happiness is no longer reachable, it's not what that would be - more like an ideal set by others but not what he wants. It's someone else's life and dream, not his.

Nobody mentioned anything about the boy, sitting alone at the cafeteria on a cold January day, neither about the timid but also cocky behaviour he displayed, nor that very sentence that sounded like a promise - it was a promise - of becoming a part of that boy's life.

Taehyung would have never thought that happiness is Jeongguk saying yes to moving in with him, Jeongguk kissing him for the first time, Jeongguk spending money on his favourite ice cream because they ran out of it and he still had the energy and willpower. Taehyung's happiness, after such a journey, he figured, is Jeongguk’s smile, Jeongguk’s trust, and Jeongguk’s shared secrets, with an endless list of similar things to those. Taehyung found what he attempted to chase at the very age of ten, the word carrying such a meaning - to him, it is Jeongguk and every other sentence filled with the younger’s name.

And he knows, without any narcissistic tendencies hidden, that Jeongguk feels the same - well, duh, he just told him the L-word. He knows, not that deep down, he means the same to his boyfriend. That's why he's not feeling one bit nervous when he says it back,


“I love you too.”


And Jeongguk smiles.