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Lan panics. Why is he covered in blood? Why are his hands covered in blood? His clothes are dirty and messy. He looks in the mirror, there are leaves in his hair and are those twigs?

 

What happened? He can't remember anything.

 

He doesn't feel any pain though, he is not hurt, then whose blood is this? It's clearly not his own.

 

He has just woken up and ended up panicking because his bloodied hands were the first thing he had seen.

 

He steps out of the bathroom frantically without even cleaning himself. He didn't hurt Wei, did he?

 

Lan searches the entire apartment, there's no sign of Wei, nothing is out of place, it doesn't seem like anything is missing or like there has been a struggle. There's no blood or weapon everywhere. He relaxes slightly but then becomes worried again.

 

He searches for his phone, where the fuck is his damn phone? He calls Wei's landline, at his office.

 

Wei picks up after six rings, six freaking rings, can't he be a bit faster? Lan is going insane here.

 

He gasps, "Wei, Xiao Wei, are you OK?"

 

Wei's voice soothes him, "I am fine, Yun Lan. You don't sound fine though, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

 

Of course, Wei can sense Lan's restlessness and panic. He sighs, "Nothing, don't worry. I just wanted to hear your voice. It helps."

 

Wei smiles and Lan can hear the gentle love, he feels like he is wrapped in Wei's devotion. "With what, Xiao Lan?"

 

Lan whispers, "With everything."

 

Both of them don't say anything for sometime, comfortable just hearing the other breathe.

 

Lan finally says, "I am going to cut the call. See you when you get home. Bye, Xiao Wei."

 

"Bye, Yun Lan."

 

The call is disconnected.

 

Lan drops to his knees, his head is pounding. There's a rush of images, Lan is standing over someone with a knife, with a fucking knife, the other person is begging and screaming, Lan doesn't hesitate, he is hurting them, he is hurting them. He stands over and watches as the life drains out of the victim, out of his victim.

 

Lan screams. He steps back and stumbles on the table. He falls down, he is terrified, no, no, had he just killed someone? Had he? With his own hands? Really? No! No!

 

The next second, there are warm hands around him and he is crying into Wei's suit jacket. Wei is kneeling next to him, rubbing circles on his back and trying to comfort him.

 

Lan looks up after a long time and whispers brokenly, "You know, don't you? Why are you helping me, Xiao Wei? You should kill the monster inside me, don't feed it, I might end up killing you as well, please, please, please kill me. Please."

 

Wei doesn't say anything. His heart squeezes. The teary look in Lan's eyes, the pain, the heart break, the blood on his lips from where he has bitten himself in frustration. The way Lan looks at Wei like there's no hope, like he is in so much pain. Those wide eyes filled with despair. The fact that Lan is worried about Wei than about himself eats at Wei.

 

Wei wants to cry. He wants to sob like there is not tomorrow. Why? Why is this happening to his Lan? It has been happening for quite a while, actually.

 

He holds back his choked sobs.

 

He uses his powers to wipe Lan's memory, like usual, he calms Lan down and puts him to sleep. Lan just slumps like a broken doll in Wei's arms. He places Lan gently on their bed. This has become their routine.

 

He covers Lan and sits at the end of their bed.

 

Today was Wei's mistake, every time Lan loses his sense and attacks someone with a weapon, Wei is always there to either heal and erase the victim's memories or to bury the victim.

 

The first time it had happened, Wei had been so shocked, that was the only time the victim had ended up dying. He hadn't been able to stop Lan on time. He had thought that he was hallucinating.

 

Wei has contacted a lot of doctors but no one knows what's wrong with Lan, the condition he is going through. But Wei can feel Lan's darkness and desire to kill.

 

Today, Wei had been late, why hadn't he been able to sense when Lan had hurt someone? How had Lan slipped through Wei's watch? This only worsens Wei's suspicions that it is happening because of dark energy. And it's getting worse and out of control and probably isn't going to end well for Wei or Lan. Wei should stop but he can't. Wei doesn't want to accept the fact that Lan has been changed by dark energy. Even though he can feel nothing dark energy related when he scans Lan. But there are ways to hide dark energy, aren't there?

 

He walks into Lan's memories and finds the place and teleports there. Lan won't be waking up for sometime. He is ready to cover it. He buries the victim and cries. He feels so sad. He blames himself.

 

He knows what he is doing is wrong, he shouldn't really be protecting Lan but he doesn't want Lan to be locked up somewhere. He knows that Lan might end up hurting Wei too.

 

He has tried so many ways to heal Lan but none of them have worked either.

 

This is wrong. This is so wrong. He shouldn't be doing this. Lan would rather die than live like this but Wei doesn't want to let him go, doesn't want him to suffer alone, doesn't want him to die alone. Wei wants to stay with Lan despite what's happening. This is not at all right in any way, not at all fair to anyone else. Wei is being selfish and stupid but he wants to do this anyway.

 

He will share Lan's burdens, Lan's sins. After all, his life belongs to Lan and Lan's belong to his.

 

Wei has learned to accept Lan's darkness. Accept Lan's everything.

 

We don't know someone truly, until we see their deepest, darkest secrets. Their darkest desires and actions. The stuff they are trying hide. We don't know anyone completely. But sometimes, we are given a chance, to see that, to explore that.

 

And we dive in because we desperately want to know, want to know how that person feels, especially when that person is someone whom we love unconditionally.

 

And then, then, we decide to leave them or we decide to forgive them, to accept them wholeheartedly. It's not right, it's not right to hurt an other person or take another life. It's not right, no reason will make it right. But we accept that person's actions because we love them and we realize that it is love... 'Ah, It's love, I love them' when we forgive their most heinous crimes and fall into their darkness.

 

We try to help them get out of it or we just stay beside them as they can't go back or we fall into it ourselves if we are weak as well.

 

Wei has accepted Lan's everything and will do anything for him. Will Lan do the same? Even if he doesn't, Wei won't leave.