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Could've Been

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It had been difficult, convincing Shaw that she wasn’t in another simulation.

Root had aimed her gun at many people, some alive, most dead, but never had she turned one on herself. The thought had never crossed her mind to do so.

That is until she watched Shaw point her gun to the side of her head with the realization that she may lose her forever unless she did something.

Her search for Shaw had been mentally and physical draining, still her efforts hadn’t ceased, and she knew they never would until she found her. It seemed though, life had something different planned, because fate brought Sameen back to her, and she would not allow anything to take her away again.

And if she had to die with Shaw for her to know that, then so be it.

As Root held the loaded gun at her chin in a position that would undoubtedly kill her upon impact, she watched several emotions display on Shaw’s face. She was still fighting internally to believe that this was reality and recognizing that the woman standing before her would pull the trigger with her. If it turned out to not be a simulation, then Shaw would be responsible for Root’s death and that was not something she could go to the grave with.

So, she lowered her gun, but her eyes never left Root.

Relief had washed over Root as soon as Sameen lowered her gun. Root dropped hers and closed the distance between them quickly, taking the gun out of Shaw’s hand before her mind convinced her to go through with her earlier decision.

Shaw stared at her, a look of vulnerability sketched across her features that would've never been there prior to Samaritan’s capture of her. She was so unsure of herself and of this moment that she almost looked scared, and it enraged Root to see the woman who had once been so confident in everything she did, struggle with her own reality.

Root could feel the sorrow within Sameen, and it caused tears to well in her eyes again. She took Shaw in her arms and held her tightly against her for what seemed like eternity. Unwilling to let her go even if Samaritan agents were to suddenly appear and riddle them with bullets. She would die with Sameen in her arms if need be.

She had never felt this way for anyone before. She had a countless number of lovers, mostly flings and some noteworthy companions, but none had ever come close to what she felt for the woman against her.

When had she fallen in love with Shaw? She couldn’t even answer that question, but she had felt it most intensely when she watched the Samaritan agents tear Shaw’s body apart with a barrage of bullets.

When she watched what appeared to be her lifeless body fall to the ground beneath her.

Her heart had literally stopped beating and she could not fill her lungs to take a breath. All other thoughts had ceased, the only thing she could think of was Sameen. Nothing else mattered, not even her God.

And now, here she was again, in the flesh, and suicidal.