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The Sun Loves Only Too Late

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Ryan smiles humorlessly at his dad, the usual onslaught of jabs and jokes about how Ryan looked too feminine, how he was too gay looking, how he couldn’t do anything well. It’s not like
Ryan was in hockey and one of the best musicians of the school.
It’s not like he had an adorable girlfriend who absolutely adored him and his father. It’s not like he made it onto the AB honor roll. It’s not like any of that was happening, Just how he was a failure.
He finally finishes his food, standing up hard enough his chair knocks against the shelf. He carries his mug and plate to the sink, leaving them there for the moment. He’d wash them after school, he pushes his chair in and rushes to get his backpack. His hair prickles and he quickly turns, his dad close behind him. “Do well. I don’t want you to have a shit career son.” He ruffles Ryans hair then walks to finish his coffee.
Ryan walks out, walking down to the corner of the street where Spencer would pick him up, the boy pulling up almost immediately. “Hi Ryspoon.” He teases as he pushes open the passenger door. “Spencer if you say it one more time I will shove a spoon where it definitely shouldn’t go.” Ryan threatens. “Sheesh.” Spencer starts driving, slowing down as Brendon rides by on his bike. “Brendon wanna get in?” He asks over Ryan. “Nahh I’m good! Its nice out!” The hyper boy responds, cycling off. “He’s so strange.” Ryan comments, Spencer snorts and nods, stopping to pick up Jac. She plants a kiss to Ryans lips as she slides in, her blonde hair now streaked with pink. “Hey gorgeous.” He smiles at her, eyes adoring as he watches the adorable girl.
“Hi babe. I like the eyeliner.” She messes with his hair a bit as Spencer drives, fake gagging. “Shut up Spencer. Just cause no one loves you doesn’t mean you gotta ruin ours.” Ryan jokes, nudging the boy affectionately, Spencer laughing in response as he pulls into the school parking lot.
Jac is the first to get out, half dragging Ryan out to get a proper kiss. His arms wrap around her dainty waist, one hand resting on her hip as he rocks her just a bit in the kiss, her fingers threading in his hair. “Good lord are they eating face?” Brendon asks as he walks up, standing next to an obviously judgmental Spencer. “Basically. It was worse on Halloween, they had fake blood all over. Murder scene.” He says to the boy who crinkles his nose. “That wasn’t the only scene that night.” Ryan smirks as he pulls back, Brendon choking on his water and Spencer groaning loudly.
“See you later baby.” Ryan says softly, his eyes softening as Jac pecks his cheek. She runs off inside for her first class, Ryan turns back to the guys, frowning at Brendon who grins at him and taps his bottom lip. “Nice color Ryan.” He teases, Ryans cheeks flaring as he wipes his mouth, damnit Jac.
They walk inside, Brendon going off to his locker. He bounced a bit with each step, almost like he was skipping. Honestly they had no clue how he ended up in their friend group besides his musical talents. He was a talented guitar player and so fucking cheerful at band practice it was hard to be annoyed.
Speaking of the band, Ryan stands on his toes searching for their greasy bass player, bingo. Making some girl uncomfortable, of course. Spencer goes to grab him as Ryan opens his locker, shoving his extra shit in it as well as his hoodie. He had a sweatshirt in his locker fo the hoodie ban rule.
A big hand lands on his back, the skinny boy jumping as he looks up. “Stop it Zack.” He grumps as he pulls on his sweatshirt. “Nahh. So how’s life, Jack Skellington?” He asks, leaning against the lockers. “Pretty okay until you showed up.” Ryan shuts his locker, leaning against them as he waits for the guys to come back over. “Awe you can’t hate me that much Ross.” Zack pouts.
“Oh trust me. I do.” He says. “No he doesn’t, Ryan play nice.” Spencer scolds as he shoves Ryan gently to open his locker.
Brendon steadies Ryan gently, his hand on Ryans hip as he looks at him with concern, Ryan went down easily. “I’m fine.” Ryan assures him a bit quickly, standing up to straight. Brendons fingers linger for a few seconds before his arm drops.
Ryans heart races a bit as he watches Jac and some of her friends, just embarrassment..right? God please let it be embarrassment.

Chapter Text

Ryan walks down to Spencer's, his hands hidden in his pockets. He had gotten shoved against the wall while being yelled at, being told how he should already have scholarships lined up, not mentioning the fact that he did, just not what his dad wanted. He was going to college for English Lit, he was going to be a writer, maybe like famous people leech off him for lyrics.
He walks around the house to the backyard, stepping through the gate quietly. Of course there was Mrs. Smith, working in her garden. "Hello Ryan, what are you doing here?" She smiles at him, her words friendly as always. "Me and Spence were gonna study since Jon apparently won't help us anymore." He explains easily, he loved talking to the woman, she was so sweet to him. Spencer walks out at an almost perfect time. "Here." He hands his mom a glass of lemonade. They were such a perfect family, always with freshly made orange juice in the morning, one of those perfect two story Victorian's with a big wrap around porch.
The family cat was lounging on the porch, Ryan immediately scooping her up as he heads inside. She mews but purrs loudly at him, letting him hold her. She was a total sweetheart, Ryan immediately bonded with her the first time he came over, for dinner with his dad when he was about 5. She had been a kitten at the time, happy to jump around to follow the cat toy he was wiggling. It was quite amazing, completely distracted by the cat and Spencer showing him all his cool toys.
Ryan accepts the tea he's offered, following Spencer upstairs and gently dumping Miss Tots onto the bed. Yes, Miss Tots. Ryan and Spencer had a say in her name. Ryan sits at the edge of the bed, his back pressing against the wall as his legs stretch out. He sips the lemonade, sighing happily. Mrs. Smith made amazing lemonade, brown sugar instead of that fake crap most places use.
Spencer lays down next to Ryan, his feet propped up on his pillow as his head rests in Ryans lap. "What happened?" He finally asks. "The usual, Dad calls me a pansy for wanting to write, I say something back, next thing you know we're yelling at each other." Ryan shrugs and sips more of the lemonade, one hand running through Spencer's hair absentmindedly. "So he still refuses to accept you have thoughts other than his?" "Basically yes." Ryan sets the cup aside gently, looking down at Spencer. "How's Haley?" He asks, not having seen her in a while. "Oh she had to go with her family for a trip thing, her dad's job gave it to him for working so hard. She's currently in London." He smiles a bit wistfully. "You'll get to go to London with your girlfriend one day, Smith. Don't look so sad." Ryan teases, earning a gentle jab to his ribs.
He continues to mess with Spencers hair, his eyes closing as he leans his head against the wall. He relaxes as Spencers breathing begins to soften, falling asleep with the boy.
Sometime during the night Spencer must have moved them, when Ryan wakes up he's covered with Spencers comforter and Spencer is no where to be found. The clock flashes four fifty two am. That's enough time to go get his shit and get to school. He gets up slowly, walking downstairs. Spencer was half asleep watching tv, his legs hanging off the couch as he does. "I'm gonna head home. I'll see you later." Ryan whispers, smiling at the soft touch to the inside of his wrist.
He walks home slowly, dreading the cleanup. He grabs a trash bag, scooping empty bottles into it and dumping out the rest. Well he finishes one right there but otherwise they're dumped out.
He ties the bag and sets it out back. walking back inside to shower off and get dressed. His hair falls in his face stupidly from being wet. He grabs his backpack and his set of keys, walking down the street. Spencer pulls up as usual and he gets in. "Am I picking up Jac again?" Spencer asks, the radio softly playing Blink-182. "Nah you're good. Her friends are getting her today." Ryan leans back in the seat as the first drops of rain hit the windshield.
Spencer pulls up to a slightly unfamiliar house, it was perfect..wow. Painted robin egg blue with a red-brown door. The front garden was full of nice flowers and herbs, a dog barks from the front porch, refusing to come out in the rain. Brendon appears at the screen, talking to a woman who looked like him before hugging her and running out with his backpack. He gets in the backseat, all sunshine and rainbows as usual. "Hey guys!" He smiles at the boys. Ryan smiles back a bit, not able to resist the cheerfulness radiating from him.
Spencer laughs at Brendon who was now bobbing his head to the radio, his glasses sliding down his nose. Ryan watches Brendon with a small grin before turning back to the front, turning it up a bit for him. He curls one leg to his chest, watching out the window. The rain was getting surprisingly heavy for the desert, blocking most of the view.
They finally pull up, Spencer taking one of the umbrellas to run inside. "That shit." Ryan huffs as he gets the other one. Brendon was waiting for him, obviously. Ryan clicks the umbrella open as he gets out, holding it over the door a bit as Brendon steps out. Their shoulders press together as they rush inside, Ryan holding the umbrella of course.
Brendons hand touches the small of his back before it moves to his hip, pulling him closer all the sudden. Ryan almost fights away until he realizes Brendon was saving him from getting drenched in mud. He smiles gratefully at the boy, his skin electrified where Brendon was still touching it gently. His shirt had ridden up as usual, his feminine hips obvious. Both of them were pretty feminine looking in the hip department, and the ass department for Brendon. Brendons eyes trail down Ryans face, settling on his lips, before his hand drops and they walk the rest of the way in an intense silence. Ryan shakes out the umbrella, putting it into the grocery back Brendon offers before he walks inside with him. Ryan hightails to his locker with one last look at Brendon, stuffing the umbrella away.
Jacs hand touches his cheek before he's gently tugged in for a kiss, the girl holding his cheek gently. He kisses back quickly, trying to ignore the nagging voice telling him to pull away, look for Brendon. His hands hold her hips, smiling as she leans closer into the kiss. Finally they pull away, her forehead resting on his as always. He absolutely adored her, why did he keep thinking about Brendon? How Brendon would look all kiss drunk and those lips swollen and red from making out, His brown eyes half lidded and- no! God, Ryan, stop thinking about this shit! He kisses Jac again gently to avert his thoughts, feeling her happily kiss back and her lips part slowly.
The two reluctantly pull away, Ryan pecking her cheek before Jac heads off to her locker. Ryans thoughts turn back to Brendon, his head bowed as he thinks about the boy. He looks up when he hears Brendon, watching him talk animatedly to a boy. His eyes dart to Ryans for a few seconds before Ryan ducks his head, trying to act as if he hadn't been staring. He shuts his locker quickly and walks off. No more of this, he's gotta stop it. One way, just stay with Jac and stop talking to Brendon. But the second way, its a very daydream material plan. Leave Jac and get with Brendon. No, he can't hurt her like that. He just can't.
The brown eyes currently boring into his back say otherwise.

Chapter Text

Brendons hands hold Ryans hips gently, kissing and licking each sound from Ryan. Ryan presses himself closer as he lets out a quiet moan, eyes closing as Brendons hands run down slowly. He’s picked up gently and Brendon pins him to the wall.
Ryans back arches as he grips Brendons hair, those lips on his neck, sucking dark marks like a little galaxy on him. “Ryan..Ryan?” That was definetly Brendon, sounding confused and a bit worried.
A soft gasp follows Ryan as he wakes up, quickly sitting up. Brendon was right there, his hand on Ryans shoulder. “You were uhh..moving a lot. I was worried.” The boy explains softly, his dark eyes focused on the older. “I’m fine.” Ryan immediately says, bunching his blankets onto his crotch. Brendons eyes lower as he notices the awkward attempt to hide his boner. Ryan flushes as he looks away from Brendon.
Brendon touches Ryans thigh for a few seconds before he goes back to his mattress, closing his eyes as he relaxes. Ryan closes his eyes, uncomfortably curling up. He couldn’t just jack off with literally all his friends there. He’d have to wait until his shower in the morning.
He lays there silently, just staring up at the ceiling. His thighs pressed together as he tries to fall back asleep. He seriously had a sex dream about Brendon fucking Urie. And he was the bottom! He’d never be a bottom.

Hours later he finally gets relief in a very cold shower, dressing quickly and walking to the living room. Mrs. Smith had already made breakfast, setting it out for all the boys. Brendon was talking to her as he happily ate, Ryan settles down to eat as well, his head down as he eats.
He goes for the eggs first, his ankles locking as he does. He takes a sip of the orange juice as he keeps his eyes away from Brendon. He finishes quickly, helping Mrs. Smith with the dishes since everyone else had been desperately eating.
He stands with her quietly, smiling a bit at that familiar scent. She smelled like warmth and comfort, that amazing laundry detergent she’d make. She was homey. He leans his head against her shoulder for a few seconds, he wished she was his mother.
He relaxes as she kisses his temple, drying her hands off as they finish the dishes. She hands him the towel and he smiles a bit,drying his hands as he walks back to the living room. He goes to get his stuff together, helping Brendon fold some blankets quietly. They work quickly to clean up while the others hang out in the backyard and play with the dogs.
Ryan sets some blankets up on a shelf, standing on his toes to get it up. Brendons quiet breath fans over his neck as his chest presses to Ryans back. Ryan stumbles forward a bit, his chin hitting his shelf. Brendon sets some blankets on the shelf, fingers running under Ryans chin and tilting his head. “Are you okay?” He asks softly, his eyes concerned. “I..I’m fine.” Ryan breathes out, his eyes a bit wide as they trail to Brendons lips.
Brendon touches the little red spot on his chin worriedly, backing off when the bathroom door opens. Ryan lets out a relieved breath, speeding to his backpack. “Bye Mrs. Smith!” He calls and runs out, his entire body flushed and warm from embarrassment.
He rushes to his workplace, locking his backpack away. He puts on his apron, quietly beginning to make the tuna salad they always served. People liked it better than the old cooks, mostly because Ryan actually uses the ingredients properly. His eyes focus on cooking, Audrey playing some demos she liked from her iPod.
He looks at the currently pink haired girl with a slight smile. She was sweet to him, she’d take customers when his dad would call or if he was getting too snappish from the lack of sleep. She was slicing meat at the moment. He keeps an eye on her, waiting until she stopped to speak. “Turn the level down Audrey. The way you’re moving your hand, you’ll end up with no fingers.” He says softly.
“You got it Ryface.” She nods, actually listening to him. He continues to make the salad, setting the bowl into the display. He cleans up the extra ingredients, humming to the music on Audrey’s phone. They usually worked with Fall Out Boy playing, she really liked Andy. Personally Ryan really loved Pete. He was awesome. So was Patrick though. As if on cue she turns on Homesick At Space Camp.
The girl bounces a bit, now setting out the still wrapped meats. She mouths along to it at Ryan who starts laughing, his head tipping back as he does. He starts mouthing it back, bouncing as he does, pretending to be playing guitar. They mess around since no one was really here at the moment, finally finishing the album.
She puts away her iPod on a charger in the back, taking deli orders and handing the sheets to Ryan as he carries them out. They get to leave earlier than normal since the deli was closing at four instead of seven. It would open back up at twelve but their boss understood that they were in school still so he didn’t ask them to take those shifts.
Audrey grabs Ryans hand, dragging him out once he got his backpack. They walk down the street, sharing her earbuds as they walk. He still had his backpack of clothes with him so they went to her warehouse, or at least she said it was hers. Her older brother had a band so they used it for practice space but they were on hiatus because of some fights. Audrey used it to bring all their friends over for a party, best part about her is she rarely invited Brendon.
Usually it was him, Audrey, Brent and kids from other schools that were all into the same things they were. She plugs her iPod in, blasting Switchblades and Infidelity. They lay on the floor as the listen to it, her legs over his and his arm over her stomach gently.
He was glad to have her around. Jac was great but she was a bit sex crazed since they were in a relationship.Audrey just liked to hang out and occasionally put even more makeup on him. He’d let her every time, he didn’t mind she was friends with Brendon despite his current struggle. She sometimes made them sit next to each other so her and her friends could turn them into scene queens. Brendon would do this stupid valley girl accent whenever they’d dress him up.
It was absolutely hilarious.
Audrey looks up at him. “Wanna smoke? My brother left me some.” She offers. “Yes oh my god.” He sits up immediately. She laughs and gets up, walking to get the stash. She breaks up the weed quietly, rolling a joint in her custom made bright pink rolling paper with polka dots. It was ridiculous.
He pulls out his lighter and she holds the end of the joint in the flame, taking a deep drag. She passes it to him as she coughs softly, her fist covering her mouth. He runs his fingers through her hair as he takes a drag, closing his eyes as he does. He coughs immediately, holding the joint away from their faces until she takes it from him.
They sit there for a while, coughing and passing it to each other. It’s been awhile since they’ve gotten to relax. This was amazing. “I think I’m gonna dye my hair blonde.” Audrey says as she stretches her legs out. “Why?” He looks down at her. “Well Jac is looking quite good in the color and I’d love to try it.” She shrugs. He shrugs. “I like your pink. Though you could definitely rock blonde.” He decides as he runs his fingers through her hair still.
She smiles at him, putting the roach into the ashtray. They sit there for a little while longer, enjoying the music and each others company.
Everything felt truly balanced, for now at least.

Chapter Text

Ryan sits at the counter, watching the few people in the deli-shop. Jac was supposed to come about fifteen minutes before his shift ended, so they could head out to a party one of her friends was hosting. He taps along to the song Spencer was playing on his iPod, Audrey’s had died earlier so Spencer volunteered his.
He was, as usual, playing Blink-182. The two boys always listened to Blink together, all the damn time.”Do you listen to literally anything else besides Blink?” Audrey asks, putting bargain deal stickers on the deli subs they had wrapped. “Never.” Spencer shakes his head, tapping his fingers to the drums.
Ryan looks up as the bell rings, his world stopping for a few seconds as Brendon walks in, his throat closing up and his heart beginning to race. He had avoided the boy like the plague for the past week, oh god. He quickly rushes to the back, pretending to check for something as Spencer takes Brendon order. Holy shit that’s a huge order. “Ryan come out here! We need your help.” Audrey says.
Ryan slowly walks out, immediately taking up the meat slicer for Audrey. He keeps his eyes on the slicer, feeling Brendons eyes on him as he does. He finally looks up once he was done, gulping a bit before he turns the machine off. Spencer was making the sandwiches quickly as Audrey dished the ridiculous amount of egg salad and coleslaw Brendon got. “Good lord, are you feeding the US army?” She asks.
“Just the family.” He smiles at her easily, taking out his wallet. Ryan cringes as the two make him deal with the register, hiding behind his hair that Audrey had decided needed to have red streaks in it. “I like the hair.” Brendon says, as if knowing Ryan was anxious about it. “Oh.. thanks.” He mumbles as he rings everything up, flashing the total on the screen. “32.69.” He says quietly.
Brendon hands him two $20’s and Ryan opens the register, handing him his change quickly then the carefully packaged bags of food. “Enjoy the food.” Ryan says politely, his eyes meeting Brendon’s before he looks away. “Have a nice day Ryan.” Brendon smiles at him before walking off.
“Oh my god the tension.” Audrey’s voice breaks into his thoughts about Brendons lips forming his name. He looks at her quickly. “What tension? What are you talking about?” His voice raises in pitch from fear, eyes widening. She pats his shoulder gently. “You should’ve told me. I won’t tell.” She reassures him. “Tell what?” He asks defensively. “Ryan. That wasn’t any straight guy anxiety.” She says softly.
His shoulders slump as he looks down at the floor. “I feel like shit for it. I don’t want to do this to Jac. She deserves more.” He confides in his friend. “You have to break it off with her before she catches on, that could cause horrible rumours, especially from her.” Audrey says softly, rubbing his shoulder as he leans his head on hers. “I know.. I just feel bad for doing this to her, ya know?” He looks at her.
“Yes I do. But you can’t keep leading her on, the more hurt she is, the worse anything she’ll do will be.” Audrey was the voice of reason for once, her hair falling over his shoulder. “Okay.. should I do it tonight?” He looks at her. “Whenever you think is the safest.” She says a bit unhelpfully. He sighs and nods, leaning his head back.
“What if I break up with her, just for Brendon to not like me back?” He asks. “Bren’s gay, you know that right?” She raises an eyebrow at him as she tells him. “He is?” Ryan asks, eyes widening a bit as he looks at her. “Uhh. Yeah. He’s still not out to his church but his parents know, they’re surprisingly accepting.” She says. “That explains.. A lot.” Ryan mumbles, sinking into her. “What do you mean?”
“Well, first it was raining really hard about a week ago right? There was only one umbrella so we shared it and he pulled me away from some car trying to splash us with mud and he held for a pretty long time..and then at Spencer’s house I was helping put away blankets and he got realllyyy close.” Ryan admits shyly as Audrey grins at him.
“Shut up.” He frowns at her as she giggles at him. “Anything else?” She asks, raising an eyebrow. He bites his lip. “I had a sex dream about him.. Like not full on sex, we didn’t get to that. But it was..nice.” He says, not meeting her eyes. “Oh my god Ryan! Like...sex or ya know, the weird stuff you found on the internet?” She asks.
“It was just grinding and making out. Nothing good happened because he seriously woke me up. I was making noises and faces apparently.” He pouts a bit at the memory of the other day. “You whore.” She grins and ruffles his hair.
The bell rings as Jac walks in, smiling at Ryan as she walks up. Spencer had already made her usual, Jacs face darkening when she sees how close Audrey and Ryan were. Audrey lets go of Ryan and waltzes off to the back. Ryan walks around the counter to kiss Jac, feeling her possessive, jealous hold on the back of his neck.
He lets her tug the ends of his hair as she kisses him, pulling away once she was satisfied with the kiss she got. He walks back around the counter, searching for Audrey. He sighs in disappointment as he realizes she had already left, she was supposedly going to the strip tonight with their friends.
Ryan wanted to go so bad but he had already promised Jac he’d go with her, he hated those stupid parties. They were just spiked fruit punch and that one asshole that brought cocaine. One girl almost died last party. It was terrifying.
He walks out after changing out of his deli smelling clothes, heading over to Jac who was paying for her food. He kisses her cheek gently and she gently grabs his hand, leading him outside to her car. “We’ll stop by your house so you can put your backpack inside then we’ll go.” She says as she gets into the front seat. He smiles as he sits in the passenger seat quickly.
She speeds off to his neighborhood, fiddling with the radio until she finds some good music. The one thing her and Audrey agreed on, music.
She pulls into his driveway and he runs inside, applying some eyeliner before he runs back out. She smiles at the eyeliner as she begins to drive to the party. He counts the bus stations, there was one maybe 5 minutes from the party. Looks like the breakup would be happening at the party. His foot shakes in anxiety, sighing softly as he leans his head back.
She parks the car, dragging him for a heated kiss, her hand holding his hair. He gently touches her side as he kisses back, leaning over the gearshift as he does. He slowly pulls away, smiling at her a bit. His lips felt swollen from that, she liked doing that. It made her more popular apparently, to be all whored out.
The two walk inside, Jac accepting some fruit punch as she searches for her friends. Ryan sticks near her as usual, losing her after a while. He stands in the kitchen eating some cold spaghetti. He knew the friend and the girls eating habits, no use to waste perfectly good food. “Making yourself comfortable?” A familiar voice teases as Ryan jumps, looking at Brendon quickly. Brendon had a fruit punch in one hand, the other resting on the counter. “Oh uh.. Yeah I guess.” He laughs uncomfortably as he puts it away.
“You need to loosen up Ryan oh my lord.” Brendon puts a cup to Ryans lips. “Drink.” He says, Ryan almost immediately obeying. He had no clue why he listened to Brendon ever, he had no reason to. He sputters a bit at the taste of the vodka mixed in with the sweet fruit punch. He finishes the cup as he coughs, gagging a bit.
“That’s disgusting.” He grumbles, looking up at Brendon. Brendon laughs and shrugs. “But it’ll loosen anyone up.” He pokes Ryans cheek gently as Ryan looks up at him for a few seconds. They stand close to each other, Brendon letting Ryan sip off his drink despite how disgusting it was.
Ryan sways a bit as he stands, his head leaning against Brendons shoulder by now. He lets out a soft giggle as he turns his body, pressing his face into Brendon. “You’re officially drunk. Time to get you to a bedroom.” Brendon wraps an arm around Ryan to lead him to the stairs.
Ryan stumbles along the entire time, almost falling straight back down the stairs. Brendon finally picks the drunk boy up and walks to a bedroom. He opens the door to the first room, freezing as he sees Jac making out with someone else. Ryans jaw drops as he just stares, he doesn’t process it fully, tilting his head. “Jac?” He whispers, tilting his head. “Jac?” He whispers. “I’ll drive him home.” Brendon says a bit quickly, closing the door.
“Ryan I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have-” Brendon starts and Ryan cuts off the second person of the night. This time with his lips pressed against Brendons. “Please. Shut up.” Ryan mumbles, letting his legs drop to the ground. He shrugs a bit, looking at Brendon whose eyes were wide and his fingers pressed to his mouth.
“I’ll take the bus tonight.” Ryan says wisely, well as wise as a sixteen year old who can’t hold two drinks without getting wasted can be. He stumbles downstairs as he begins walking to the station. He sits down quietly as he watches for the bus, head leaning back. The lights blur as he begins to fall asleep, slumping over onto his side.
The feeling of a breeze washes over him, the sound of wind in a fast car alongside it. Lights pass overhead and comforting, the smell of a very boyish scent mixed with hot cocoa and just something homey filling his nose as warm arms carry him.
He’s laid down in his bed, mumbling a bit as he curls up under the comforter, passing out with one last glimpse of dark brown eyes and a kiss to the forehead.

Chapter Text

Ryan sighs as he stares out the window. Jac had cheated on him..he’d cheated on her. Thank god it was Saturday. He didn’t have to deal with anyone but Audrey today. She’d understand he needed rest. Hopefully.
He glares at his alarm as it begins blaring, revealing the headache he had. He unplugs it with annoyance, slowly standing and walking to the bathroom. He cups his hands under the sink faucet and drinks the water from his hands quickly.
He just shuffles around for a while, his eyes adjusting to the natural light as he begins to get dressed for work. He shuffles downstairs, looking at dad, he was making toast? “Morning.” Ryan says, his voice low and a bit rough. He walks over to the coffee pot, almost immediately being handed a cup.
“Thanks dad. How was your night?” He asks, trying to be nice to the man. He was still his father. Ryan sips the coffee quietly, watching him quietly. “I went on a date finally.” He looks at Ryan, judging his reaction. Ryan gulps a bit, his lips pressing together. “How was it?” He finally asks. “It was good. She was nice.” He supplies, nodding a bit. “Ryan if this goes well, this won’t replace your mother. But we need a woman in the house.” He says softly.
“Does she know you drink yourself to sleep? Does she know about me? Does she know you can’t buy groceries for yourself and your kid?” Ryan fires back at him, putting the cup down and walking out. He goes back upstairs and locks the door, his body shaking in anger. He just wanted mom to come home.
He gets dressed quickly, hiding in the big jacket as he shoulders his backpack. He was just gonna go stay at Audrey’s or something, he had to get away for the weekend. He walks back downstairs and heads to the front door. Dad was sitting at the table, head in his hands. “I’ll be back Sunday night or Monday afternoon.” Ryan says plainly, walking out.
He walks to the deli, seeing Brendon with his picture perfect family. Two little kids were playing with the dog while Brendon’s mom(?) watered some plants, his father reading a newspaper on the front porch.
Only Brendon noticed the boy walking past, smiling as he stands up. “Ryan!” He calls, jogging over to Ryan. Ryan backs up a bit, his jacket covering as much of him as he could. “Hey Brendon..” He forces a smile. “Would you like to join us for breakfast? We’re about to eat.” Brendon offers, Ryan’s stomach grumbling in response. “No..I really shouldn’t impose on your family.” Ryan tries to smile again, more of a grimace on his face.
“We insist.” Brendon’s mom walks over with a sweet smile. Oh god. “Okay..” Ryan reluctantly agrees, Brendon’s face lighting up as he grabs Ryans wrist gently. “Come on in! You can put your backpack in my room.” He half drags him inside, Ryan almost tripping on the stairs.
It was a fucking cookie cutter house, everything was so nice and homey here. He lets Brendon drag him along as he takes in as much of the house as he could.
Brendon opens a door to his room, Ryan immediately feeling a bit more comfortable in the mess of clothes and band posters. He slowly walks in, looking around quietly. “Where were you headed?” Brendon asks curiously. “I was gonna hang around the deli, maybe work some extra hours with Audrey. I’m probably staying with her this weekend, Dad’s pretty pissed at me for-” He cuts himself off, pressing his lips together.
Brendon raises an eyebrow but doesn’t press anymore, nodding a bit. “Put your backpack right here..are you going to wear that jacket during breakfast?” He asks, looking at Ryans jacket a bit judgmentally. “I guess not..” Ryan slowly unzips it, feeling bare as he slides it off. He was wearing a t-shirt for once, revealing the little scribbles and doodles on his arms from Audrey and him getting bored.
“Wow. Those are cool.” Brendon says as he points at Ryan’s arm. If only he knew why the two drew them on. “Thanks.” Ryan nods a bit, pushing his hair back self-consciously. Brendon moves a bit closer, his chest almost touching Ryans as they just stare at each other. Brendon’s tongue runs along his lower lip as Ryan gulps a bit, lips parting a bit.
Brendon leans closer, pressing a gentle kiss beside Ryan’s mouth. An involuntary disappointed noise escapes Ryan, feeling the smile curve onto Brendon’s face as he kisses Ryan slowly. Ryan kisses back immediately, his hand gently pressing to Brendon’s stomach as Brendon’s arm locks around Ryan’s waist gently. The two stay like that until air was a necessity, Ryan’s forehead pressed against Brendon’s.
Ryan closes his eyes, not able to look Brendon in the eye. He was cheating on his girlfriend for this..it was so good though. He presses another kiss to Brendon’s lips, his hand holding onto Brendon’s shirt as he does. A soft sound escapes Brendon as Ryan tugs him even closer.
They pull away much slower than earlier, Brendon’s hand cupping Ryan’s cheek gently. They half jump away when Brendon’s mom calls up the stairs for them. Ryan wipes his mouth a bit desperately, his face flushing as he look away.
“It’s fine. My parents know I’m gay.” Brendon says. “Well I’m not! And no one knows! If my dad finds out he’ll kill me!” Ryan snaps quietly, his eyes wide with fear. “Ryan relax. I’ll make sure no one finds out, okay?” Brendon says softly, smoothing Ryans shirt gently. Ryan jerks away, his breath shaking a bit.
“Let’s just go eat. I need to go to work soon.” He says quietly, walking out quickly. Brendon leads him out, his hand holding onto Ryans gently. Ryan allows him this until they get downstairs, tugging his hand away quickly.
They sit at the dinner table, Ryan watching as Mrs. Urie plates the food and sets it out. It was sparing but looked much better than bland toast with butter that may be expired. Ryan waits until the adults and Brendon begin to eat, still ingrained with the habit of eating after parents. Dad and Mom would make him do it, stupid rules of the household. Stupid fucking rules.
Ryan stays dead silent as they eat, his head down and his jaw clenched a bit. Brendons hand gently touches his knee, rubbing it gently.
Ryan relaxes a bit, looking over at the boy. Brendon smiles at him, squeezing the older boys knee lightly.
Ryan’s face drops a bit in relief as breakfast ends, allowing Brendon to lead him upstairs after Brendon promises his mom that he’ll do the dishes later. Ryan pulls his jacket back on, feeling better being hidden under the cloth. His eyes close as he presses his nose into the fabric. “Ry?” Brendon asks, Ryan’s eyes darting up. Brendon gently pulls Ryan to his chest, his nose pressing against Ryan’s cheek. Ryan gently runs his fingers up Brendon’s spine slowly, feeling it through the thin shirt easily.They stand like that, Ryan’s eyes closed as he trails his fingers up and down the boys spine. Brendon presses a slow kiss to Ryan’s jaw, slowly moving up to his lips.
Ryan’s hand hold his hips gently as Brendon wraps his arms around Ryan’s neck, tangling his fingers through Ryan’s soft hair. Brendon walks them backward onto his bed, tripping and going down just like a rom-com scene. Ryan laughs a bit against his lips, looking up at him. “That was so cheesy.” He laughs at Brendon who was slowly turning red. “Shut it Ross.” He grumbles. “Oooh bad man, gonna shut me up?” Ryan jokes, eyes widening as Brendon flips them around, straddling Ryan’s hip easily.
“Oh..” Ryan breathes out, biting his lip as he looks up at Brendon. Soft kisses trail up his neck this time, this was so much better than Jac. Oh shit, Jac. Ryan squirms underneath Brendon, about to push him off when he sucks on his neck slowly. Ryan lets out a soft moan, completely relaxing as Brendon does. Brendon continues until there was a sizeable hickey, allowing Ryan to get up. “I..uh..” Ryan mumbles. “You have to go to work, I know.” Brendon pats his head. “Go on.” He shrugs.
Ryan stands quickly, grabbing his backpack. He felt like he should kiss Brendon, a little goodbye peck. Brendon was already shuffling away to get something. “Bye then.” Ryan mumbles and rushes out, flashing a smile to the Urie’s as he flees what could basically be considered a crime scene for him.

Chapter Text

Ryan curls his legs up to his chest, half listening to Audrey talk as she gets dressed. They were all going out to the strip as a celebration/grievance that Ryan had finally broken up with Jac. “Ryan, where are you?” She asks, tilting his head up. “I’m just..” Ryan shrugs as he looks at her, sighing quietly. “I just wanna get going.” He stands up, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “You look like shit Ryface.” She tugs him to her vanity, sitting him down.
She picks up an eyeliner pencil as he tilts his head back a bit for her, eyes trained on the ceiling as she lines them. She pats his cheek five minutes later. “There. You look almost like yourself again.” She ruffles his carefully straightened hair. “Quit that.” He huffs at her, fixing his hair as he stands back up. She grins and pulls on her jacket, pushing her long hair out of her eyes. “Okay ready.” She grabs his hands.
A car honks outside as Audrey raids her dads alcohol cabinet, Ryan standing guard just in case. The two run outside, Audrey getting in the front seat as Ryan slides into the back, half landing on Gabe's lap when his hip is grabbed. Gabe holds Ryan there causing the smaller boy to pout a bit, moving so his back was pressed against the door. “Why are you like this.” Ryan says in a deadpan.
“You’re just so soft and cuddly Ryan..like a bitchy body pillow.” Gabe lays his head on Ryans shoulder as one of Audrey’s friends drives the car.. Or maybe it was her current boyfriend. The car pulls up to the uncomfortably perfect house of Ryan’s nightmares, the equally perfect boy running out. “Nooo.” Ryan groans.
Brendon slides into the backseat, blinking in confusion as he looks at Ryan, still sat in Gabe’s lap and fingers tangled in Gabe’s hair. Gabe smiles at Brendon, finally releasing Ryan and shoving him at Brendon. “Will everyone stop throwing me?” Ryan protests as he lands on top of Brendon this time.
“Just cause I’m small doesn’t mean you can bully me.” Ryan sticks his tongue out at Gabe, earning a laugh and poke to the stomach. Ryan settles between Brendon and Gabe, feeling the warmth from both of them. Fuck this wasn’t fun.
He sighs in relief when they finally park in some shady parking lot, climbing over Gabe to get out first. Audrey opens the half empty bottle of vodka and takes a quick swig. Brendon opens the bottle of whiskey, passing it to Ryan after taking a drink. The group sets off to meet up with Vicky and everyone else, Ryan and Brendon staying next to each other as they share a bottle.
Brendons hand settles on Ryans hip, Ryan’s hand holding a belt loop as they walk quietly.
Ryans head lean against Brendons shoulder, looking at all the lights quietly. Brendon kisses the crown of his head, wrapping his arm fully around Ryan. Ryan takes the bottle, downing half of what was left, his body pressed to Brendon. Audrey looks back at them, understanding and betrayal flashing on her face before she speeds up to open the warehouse door.
They all walk in, mostly splitting up to find more alcohol. Ryan heads to the bar after Audrey. “Audrey?” He asks, worried about the girl who seemed stiff now. “What, Ryan?” She asks, frowning at him. “What’s wrong?” He asks, gently touching her arm. “Why didn’t you tell me it was Brendon?” She asks, frowning still. His heart drops. “What are you talking about?” He lies, frowning at her as he does.
“It’s him! He’s the one who left the hickey, he’s the one replacing Jac!” She says, her voice rising as she stares at Ryan. “I.. I don’t know, okay? He’s just..he’s there? And he’s been there..” He says, biting his lip. This made no sense to either of them. “I really like him..” Ryan admits finally, looking at the girl. She stares at him, sighing slowly as she pulls him over.
He leans into her touch, accepting the drink she hands to him. “Go get him then. At least fuck him, he’s physically perfect.” She says, throwing her head back as she takes a shot. He blushes, finishing off the drink she handed him earlier. He sets the glass down and she pats his hand encouragingly before he walks off to find Brendon.
He looks around with a soft sigh, eyes finally landing on the brown eyed boy. He was smiling and dancing with some guy, hips moving against the guys. Ryans jaw clenches before he moves through the crowd, finding Gabe easily. “Finally.” Gabe smiles as he pulls Ryan over by his hips.
Ryans head leans back as Gabe grinds on him, one hand threaded in Gabes hair as Gabes hands possessively hold his hips. Ryans head turns as Gabe kisses up his neck, Brendons eyes flick over to Ryan, Ryan letting out a low moan as his eyes begin to close. Brendon glares as Ryan pushes up against Gabes hand, feeling it squeeze as he almost whines, mouth dropping open. Gabe didn't want to settle down yet, just fuck and make other guys jealous.
Ryan presses his nose against Gabe’s neck, whimpering quite audibly as Gabe squeezes. He looks up again, Brendons eyes were still on him. Ryan carefully disentangles himself from Gabe who presses a messy kiss to his cheek and disappears, something he took had most definitely kicked in. Ryan stumbles to the bar, his neck sensitive as he hides in the shadows with someones old drink.
He closes his eyes slowly as he stands there, trying to ignore the noise around him. A warmth touches his side and he turns his head, stiffening slightly a hand runs along his hip gently. Brendon. He leans into the touch, looking at Brendon quietly. “Trying to make me jealous, Ross? “ He raises an eyebrow. “Definitely. “ Ryan smiles and presses his lips to Brendons slowly.
Brendon holds his hip as he kisses back slowly, his other hand cupping Ryans cheek. They move closer, Ryan setting the cup down as Brendon pulls him back towards a wall, his hands wandering down Ryans sides. Slowly they pull back, Brendons forehead pressed against Ryans shoulder. Ryan runs his fingers along Brendons spine slowly, his eyes on the people on the dance floor.
Audrey looks at the two, smiling at Ryan as Brendon kisses along his shoulder to his exposed neck. Ryan smiles faintly back, his head leaning back as Brendon nibbles along his neck, humming quietly as his teeth graze Ryans soft spot. Ryan bucks against him with a soft groan, pulling Brendon closer. “Bren..” He moans softly, his hands gripping Brendons shirt.
Brendon’s hand run down and grip Ryans thighs, lifting him up. Ryan wraps his legs around Brendon’s waist, head leaning back as he bucks up against Brendon desperately, groaning softly as he gently tugs Brendon’s hair.
Brendon slowly walks to a different room, closing a door behind them. “How..how do you know your way so well?” Ryan’s voice pitches as Brendon squeezes his ass. “I come here a lot Ry.” Brendon sets Ryan down on the couch, laid down between his legs as he kisses down to Ryans exposed collarbone. Ryan moans softly as he grips the couch, completely compliant as Brendon helps him out of his jacket.
Brendon trails kisses from his wrist up to his shoulder slowly, savoring Ryan’s little gasps and whimpers. Ryan’s hips lift. “Brendon please!” He begs as his hips rock up against Brendon, he whimpers softly as he squirms. Brendon gently tugs Ryan’s shirt off, Ryan’s hands quickly reach up, unbuttoning Brendon’s shirt. He sits up, biting gently down along Brendon’s chest. Brendon’s moan echoes through the room as Ryan kisses and sucks along to his neck, grinding up against Brendon.
Brendon half shoves him down onto the couch, unbuttoning Ryan’s jeans and tugging them down quickly. He palms Ryan through his boxers, smirking as he listens to Ryan’s little desperate whimpers and moans. “Brendon!” His voice pitches. “Quiet.” Brendon whispers as he flips Ryan onto his stomach, cold air hitting the back of Ryan’s thighs.