Looking at a certain Varia boss glaring daggers at him, a smiling too-innocently ex-enemy turned good guy, a bloodthirsty school perfect who without a doubt would like nothing more than to bite everyone to death, and an ex-convict who wanted to possess his body before, Sawada Tsunayoshi wanted nothing more than to get back to the comfort of his soft bed. It was a bright Saturday morning and he didn't want anything to ruin a perfectly fine day with Reborn's love for chaos.
Speaking of the sadistic hitman, bemused caramel eyes watched the cursed baby sat casually at the center of the living room as if the massive killing intent from everyone in the room was normal and the brunet just wanted to strangle him since Reborn made it a point to have a sitting arrangement where everyone wanted to kill the person besides them. He was rather thankful that at least, his mother wasn't here. Mukuro looked ready to kill Byakuran at his right and Kyoya already had his weapons aimed at both of them. The Varia just being here wanted to kill everyone.
"Why did you have to separate the calm people from the violent ones, Reborn?" It pained Tsuna to admit the fact that he was desensitized at this point that he could only question the sitting arrangement now. The sadist, who was even the caused of it, dared to simply smirk in a way that had him getting chills. He didn't need his Hyper Intuition to realize another embarrassing moment for him. The young boss could already feel a headache coming. He closed his eyes for a second and asked warily, wanting things to get over with, "Reborn, why did you call all the guys here?"
Reborn widened the curve in his mouth, giving the image of a predator that corned his prey. His magically shapeshifting chameleon transformed into a microphone and staring at the Arcobaleno's matching host costume, his student began formulating an idea he didn't want to be true. Reborn crushed his hopes at his jobs, "Of course, we're hear to answer the questions of some fans!"
"We're not a TV show nor do we have fans!" Tsuna quickly retorted but was majorly ignored. He had a feeling that this wouldn't the first time someone ignore his words.
"Or to be exact, to answer why Tsuna can't be a girl!"
The Vongola Decimo wanted to bang his head. This was really turning into another 'let's embarrassed Tsuna day' and he glared irritably at the baby, who remained unfazed at the poor attempt to intimidate. "How can someone think I'm a girl?!" he shouted in a high pitched voice as he glanced at everyone. "I'm perfectly someone who looked like a boy, right?"
His question seemed to be unanswered or simply ignored‒even his loyal storm guardian didn't want to answer that. He gritted his teeth and vowed to prove them wrong. He did have his pride as well. He readied to speak up again when he felt the air in his tutor and he barely avoided a fast sudden bullet. He gulped at his tutor and immediately shut his mouth, only giving a reassuring smile to his protective friends.
The hitman smirked all too smugly, as if he didn't just shoot his student for being annoying, "Let's start with reason number one."
"Number 1: Because Tsuna will not be able to cross-dress."
"What does gender have to do with cross-dressing?" the said boy injected confused at the issue before he finally realized the main problem. He mentally smacked himself for his first question. "Wait! I'm going to dress as a girl!?"
Multiple of bad memories associated with that word in his childhood flashed through his mind and he shivered in fear, just remembering his mother's secret hobby. He glanced at the sadist named Reborn subtly and nodded firmly. The Sun Arcobaleno must never know. He didn't want an alliance between his mother and his tutor to form. Ever.
His tutor noticed his suspicious stare but chose to ignore it for now. "Yes, you are," he answered simply and bluntly. "You have to learn to seduce and fool both female and male."
"But I'm a boy!"
"That's why it's called cross-dress," Reborn whacked his head with a green hammer. "As for the first question, cross-dressing is more humiliating-ahem, more complex and less obvious for boys."
"Fan boys, right?" Byakuran finished with a sly smile, eating his marshmallow, which earned himself a nod from the Sun Arcobaleno. Some of the crowd, like the young sky, echoed a "fan boys?" and had no idea why it was a reason.
"Fan clubs, fan boys, whatever kind of fan... He'll receive many if he's a girl," the strongest hitman turned baby explained and felt a smirk formed in his mouth when he thought of what some people will react to what he'll say. "Maybe, he'll even get himself a stalker who might assault in a rather sexual way..."
The more innocent people, including the small Decimo and a baby guardian, would blink that clearly said that they didn't understand a thing about that.
The usually cheerful and energetic type, including a certain rain and sun guardian, would be the quietest and definitely none approachable.
The overprotective type, including a loud storm guardian, would be the most dangerous at this pace as they would blow up on anyone, except their beloved boss.
The quiet type, including a half mist guardian, would have the scariest aura and would probably bring you nightmares if you step a foot closer to them.
The most dangerous and bloodthirsty type, including an unwilling cloud and other mist guardian, would probably bite you to death, send some real illusions that turned your night terrors to life, give you a taste of a fist of fire, put the bullets/knifes/swords to your head, and etc.
And last, the sadistic and money type, like the hitman himself, would probably enjoy their reactions and even catch them with the camera to be put in sales.
Like what happened now...
"So, next, number 3..."
"Wouldn't their be like arrange marriage?" Surprisingly, it was Tsuna who asked the question which made his tutor smirk. His tutor was glad that he was able to put some knowledge to the boy. He praised mockingly, "That's right and since the Ninth's son were dead, you would have to get married to Xanxus if you were a girl."
Tsuna paled drastically, turning blue. He snapped with wide eyes at the Varia boss, who was awfully quiet and feared for the worst. "WHAUIDHIHDIGIAG!" the angered boss shouted so many malicious curses and swears that he was dragged outside to calm him down.
"Note to self: Never mention this to Xanxus again," the male brunette thought aloud, gaining nods of agreement from the other people.
"Number 4," Reborn carried on normally like none of the outburst had happened. The teenage Vongola wondered if the baby was enjoying and nodded to himself at the thought. This was his sadistic tutor so he certainly was. The hitman paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes at the list and the brunet didn't like the sudden silence. He was tensed in suspense.
"Everyone will love a female Tsuna."
Everyone quiet down while the said male couldn't believe his ears and opened his mouth, "HUUUUUHHHH?"
"You're the sky and it's simple like that," the hitman-slash-tutor said bluntly and continued to his list. "Number 5..."
"Rivalry between families and allies because of number 4, right?" Dino asked, already understanding the point in number four, which earned him a smirk from the baby.
"Next, number 6: Tsuna will receive lots and lots of suitors."
No questions asked anymore. That was pretty self-explanatory.
"Number 7: Tsuna..."
"Will be the most oblivious girl in the world," Chrome finished confidently, earning a jaw drop and wide eyes from the others.
"Eh? Oblivious, how?" Tsuna asked confused at the reasons again.
But it seemed like everyone agreed and knew why it's like so they promptly ignored him.
"Number 8: Tsuna can fall for a wrong guy."
The brunette could understand that but...
"Why are you guys centering it my love life?!"
"Number 9: Tsuna will be treated differently."
Tsuna sighed as once again was ignored.
"He'll have those mood swings, right?" Yamamoto joked, not really thinking much about what he had said. The list had been focusing at the unlikely romance Tsuna would have and he thought of changing the subject with a random idea. However, they did tried to think about women and mood swings and paled. Even the most fearsome bunch paled at what they thought.
"You know as I thought I'm glad Tsuna's a male," the young swordsman added as aftermath, everyone agreeing wholeheartedly.
Tsuna blinked and blinked. Did he miss anything?
Nope, he did not.
The others just found out how lucky it was for the young boss to not be a female. Because he will most likely be the powerful when angered and god forbid, will most likely be scarier than the devil himself when PMSing. Prey tell, will someone like to fight a female mafia boss PMSing in a battle?
Hands down, the KHR Casts definitely would not like a massacre or World War III!
The young Sky opened his mouth to question what was wrong but his intuition warned about something worse than being subjected to Reborn's torture. The voice of the one person he didn't want to get involve in this kind of topic asked suddenly, surprising everyone, "Oh, are you guys thinking of Tsu-kun as a girl?"
Sawada Nana smiled innocently and carried several picture books her hands. At the sight, Tsuna was so done. He quickly ran away and hid in embarrassment. He learned his lessons in trying to stop his mother from showing his dark days when she wanted to dress him up and him complying like an idiot. He, at least, wanted to save some of his dignity left.
After Nana was done, there was no dignity to save.