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Killer costume

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Jack loved Halloween. Of all the bizarre earth traditions, this one was the most fun. It helped that chocolate and candy played a significant role as well. If he had to pick, Easter was his next favourite for that very reason.

Even better was having the perfect excuse to go trick or treating by taking Ianto's niece and nephew with them.

Rhiannon answered the door dressed in bunny ears.

Jack growled naughtily. 'Looking good Mrs Davies!'

'Shut up,' she joked. 'The kids are still getting ready. You can use our room to get changed.'

Jack thanked her and made his way past, but not before giving her a wink and one of the felted ears a playful tug. He earned himself an elbow from Ianto.


'She's my sister.'

'Well it's not my fault sexy runs in the family.'

Jack was taking an eternity to get changed. Ianto had amused himself and the kids by letting them show him their latest video game, whilst babbling excitedly about how many lollies they were going to get. David was dressed in a Jedi outfit, complete with a fake light saber, and Mica was Princess Elsa.

When Jack finally entered the living room, he was barely recognisable. Ianto mentally rolled his eyes. Of course Jack would choose zombies.

'Well, what do you think?' he asked.

In fairness he'd done a very good job, makeup and all, right down to the bits of fake skin peeling off his face.

'Well, considering undead slash undying is your natural state, this is definitely backwards progress. You couldn't have just gone dressed as a 1940's soldier?'

'I'll take that as a compliment.'

'You do know zombies aren't real?'

'You're still going to argue that, even after what happened last year? The whole city was invaded.'

'They weren't real. They were just fabrications from the mind of a scared teenager.'

'Where's your costume? And don't tell me you're going as James Bond again.'

'What's wrong with Bond?'

Jack sighed dramatically. 'It's boring! You might as well advertise yourself as Alfred the Butler.'

'You got to pick yours,' he complained.

'Go and get changed, ' Jack ordered.

'Into what? Johnny's Sunday best?'

'Don't worry. We got you a costume. I figured you might dig your heels in.'

'Consider them dug.'

'Please, please, Uncle Ianto!' begged Mica.

'Yeah, come on. I wanna see your costume,' added David.

'This is my costume.'

'No, that's what you wore to work today,' Jack countered. 'Look, if it's any consolation, I let Rhiannon pick it out.'

'That hardly inspires confidence. That only narrows the field of possibility to exclude Shirley Bassey.'

'Oh, we should have done Bassey!' Rhiannon cried, 'That would have been priceless!'

Jack laughed. Ianto was still staring them both down in a standoff he was quickly losing.

'Oh, stop being such a sad sack and do it,' Rhiannon bullied.

He fixed his sister with a death glare. She just smiled back in that way that suggested she wasn't much more benevolent than Jack. He hated it now that they'd learned how to gang up on him.

The things he did for his family, thought Ianto as he trudged up the stairs to meet his fate.

When he finally trundled out, it was lucky that the headpiece hid his look of absolute objection and humiliation.

Mica squealed loudly and ran up to him, hugging him tightly.

'Olaf! Mummy, Uncle Ianto is Olaf!'

'Aw!' teased Jack. 'He's so cuddly! I hope he doesn't melt.'

'For the record, I'm never speaking to either of you ever again,' came the muffled voice. There was no way you could take him seriously though, dressed like that.

Rhiannon was going to pay later for getting her brother the giant snowman costume, but right now all she was worried about was getting as many photos on her phone as possible.

A snowman, a princess, a Jedi and a zombie. It sounded like the start of a bad joke.