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Museum

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“Let’s go to a museum,” Tommy suggested.

“Yeah! Let’s!” Adam said excitedly.

Once they were actually in the museum, his excitement dried pretty quickly. While Tommy absolutely loved the 17th century paintings, especially the ones depicting battlefields and noblemen, Adam seemed to be mostly bored. He had refused the audio guide at the entrance and for the first twenty minutes he just followed Tommy around while humming a tune under his breath, paying close to no attention to the art. After that, he grew impatient and started talking. A lot. About all sorts of things one shouldn’t talk about in a museum. Thongs, for example. And how he longed to be stoned.

Tommy tried to ignore him by turning up the volume of his audio guide, which worked pretty well until Adam suddenly elbowed him.

“See that hot guy over there?”

Exasperated, Tommy looked at the attendant Adam was pointing out. He was standing like a statue next to one of the paintings, looking in their direction. He was wearing a black uniform, and Tommy knew how Adam loved those.

“He is so checking me out! Or, maybe you. No, I think me. Should I go talk to him?”

Tommy loved Adam. Really, he did. It was just that sometimes there seemed to be a whole lot of him, as if ten Adams were crammed into one. He sighed and resisted the urge to massage his temples. “Sure,” he said, just to get rid of him so he could take a proper look at the paintings. Which was kind of the point of going to a museum.

Adam skipped off happily. Tommy, relieved, typed in the number corresponding to a small, bleak painting on his audio guide and listened to a deep male voice telling of the early death of the painter’s wife and how it had affected his work. It was really interesting. He didn’t get why Adam didn’t like being here.

He cast a glance at him and saw him charming the hell out of the young attendant, who was all smiles and eagerness, from what Tommy could see. He was pretty sure he could get fired for flirting with a visitor like that, even when that visitor was Adam Lambert.

He wasn’t really surprised when Adam returned a little while later with a smug smile and a phone number written across his wrist.

“So easy,” he whispered to Tommy. “Like, I didn’t even have to try.”

“Fantastic,” Tommy said, moving on to the next room.

Adam followed him. “His name is Zach. He’s so cute! He’s from Boston, originally, but he moved here a few years ago. And, guess what, he plays guitar! Just like you! That’s awesome, right? And he’s got—”

“Adam,” Tommy interrupted him, turning around. There were limits to his patience.

“What,” Adam huffed. “It’s not like I’m actually going to call him or anything.”

Tommy closed his eyes and made a sound of disbelief before he walked away.

“Wait, Tommy!” Adam called. He went after him. “Come on, don’t be like this. Let’s – let’s go someplace nice and have a drink, okay?”

Sighing, Tommy looked at him. “Adam, this is someplace nice. I came here to look at paintings and all you do is—” He gestured wildly with his arm. “—chat up twinks and babble all the time. I mean…”

Adam looked instantly apologetic. He even pouted a bit. “I’m sorry. I’ll be good. And, you know, just for the record, you are way cuter.”

Despite himself, Tommy smiled. He shook his head.

“No, really,” said Adam. “You are. I would totally chat you up if I thought you’d let me.”

“Oh Adam. You’ve tried chatting me up since day one.”

“I have?”

Tommy nodded.

“Oh.” Adam seemed taken aback. “Well, did it work?”

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “What do you think? You haven’t even tried properly.”

Adam’s eyes went wide. “I could do that. So, you want, like, flowers and shit? Chocolate? You love chocolate, right?”

Tommy shrugged, smiling a little.

Adam clapped his hands. His excitement had fully returned. “Oh my god, courting Tommy Joe! This is going to be so awesome!

 

-end