It was as of recent, Santana and Brittnay had broken up. Santana left the movies with Quinn, putting a smile onto her face though it wasn't how she really felt. The blonde woman smiles at Santana, “What’d you think of the movie, San?” She asks, taking the brunette's hand into hers.
“Uh, I thought it was good.” Santana gives a toothy smile, hiding the feels curling in her chest. The yearning of Brittnay, but Quinn will have to do.
Quinn and Santana had been going out for at least a month now, Santana wished she could really move on that fast, but that wasn't how life worked. Or at least, how her heart worked. “I’m glad you liked it.” Quinn smiles, pressing her cheek again the brunette's shoulder.
The drive to Santana’s apartment was short, once inside, Santana pushes Quinn up against the door, “I want you, Quinn, I want you to moan my name.” She whispers into the blonde's ear, her voice husky.
Quinn gasps at the quick action, her voice hitching as Santana’s voice sent chills down her spine. “I’d love too.” Quinn manages to make out before lips crashed onto her own.
The kiss was rough, lips mashed against lips, sucking and biting at one another. Santana wanted to shove down her feelings for Brittnay and this seemed to be the best way to do it. The Latina’s hand slowly making its way into the blonde's pants, rubbing Quinn in the best ways through her panties. Quinn gasps, pale hands pushing Santana further into her exploration. “Please,” Quinn whimpers softly, grinding onto Santana’s hand.
“Tell me what you want, Q,” Santana smirks, nibbling onto Quinn’s ear. “Beg for what you want like a good girl.”
“I- I want you to make me cum. Make me your slut… Please!” Quinn whines, gasping when Santana applies more pressure with her fingers.
It went on like that. For at least another three months. They’d have sex, Santana would cry and Quinn would leave. It was a simple process.
The Latina curls up on the bed, pulling her knees into her chest. She cries, wishing that this wasn't her life. She felt dirty, she felt alone, felt like she had been using her best friend. It made Santana feel like shit. Why couldn't she be with Brittnay? There were so many reasons… Her thought process was Brittnay, Brittnay, Brittnay. Always thinking about the blonde. How she wished she could just go back in the past and have her then.
Santana sits up, wiping a tear from her cheek then grabbing the phone that sat on her nightstand. Santana still loved Brittnay, was emotionally tied to Brittnay, sexually tied to Brittnay. She has never felt like this about someone before. Brittnay was her person and it pained her to be without the blonde. Unlocking her phone, she quickly opens her texts with Brittnay.
‘You doing okay?’ is all Santana could text Brittnay. Its all she could think of to say, what else would she say? Pressing her pads back to the keyboard, she typed out the next message.
‘I miss you, I miss you so much’ is what she pumped out next. Santana hadn't been thinking, she didn't know what she was doing. She was upset, alone, sad, and afraid. Afraid to live a life without Brittnay at her side.
‘I’m just going through a lot right now.’ it was half a lie. Santana was doing quite well for herself. Working, going out with friends, she was happy with everything until this hit her. The brunette wanted Brittany's pity and Santana Lopez never wanted pity. But this time, it was different.
‘I just want to do things and I miss the things we’d do.” Santana missed the touches, the grazes, the stares. Even if it was just a peck on the cheek, to a tender kiss on the neck, it always meant the world to her.
‘But it’s alright.’ Santana was asking for it, she knew she was asking for it. She was desperate for Brittnay. Not just for the sex, but for everything they had together. They could take over the world if they put their minds to it.
Santana places her phone down but quickly takes it back once she hears a vibration. Her fingers typing in her simple password and opening the phone to see a message from Brittnay.
‘It’s always about you Santana. I can't do this. Not now, not ever. Please don't text me..’ Santana broke when she saw the text. The worst part was that Brittnay was right, and Santana knew it! She didn't want to think about it that way though.
Quickly typing out her next message, Santana presses send.
Then she sends another.
‘I just want you so bad.’
Then Brittnay sent something, ‘It can't happen.’
It felt so cold over the text messages. Santana thought about it while tears rolled down her cheeks, wondering if it would sound cold when Brittnay actually said it.
‘Why… No one out there feels the same as you. No one makes me feel this way, it's only you.’ Santana hated the fact that she sounded desperate.
‘The spark isn't there…’ was the next message from Brittnay.
‘Yes, it is.’
Santana added, ‘I feel it. I still feel the feelings I do when I think about you.’ The brunette takes a deep breath and sighs, was she even making sense? She was tired, and so done with herself.
‘I’m over it. Please don't try to force me into something I don't want.’ Brittnay was on the other side of the screen. It hurt to say these things to Santana, but if she didn't ward off her ex, they would get back together.
‘Britt…’ Santana couldn't help but notice the harshness in Brittany's message. It made her heart ache, made her feel like it could just drop and nothing would change.
‘I’m trying to move on.’ The message sent a bullet into Santana’s heart. She could feel it, her chest heaved, taking in deep breaths. She could feel her heart hurting.
They didn't text after that.