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Marriage Law Rejection Letters

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 737

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #1
By: Sakura Lisel
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Dear Whomever it May Concern,

Are you jerks bloody mental or something? There’s no way in bloody hell I’m going to take part in a marriage law of all things and be paired off with some racist pureblood pig because you jerks in the ministry think this law is a ‘good idea’ for the betterment of everyone? When you say ‘everyone’ just whom are you talking about exactly, because it sure as hell isn’t for my betterment!

I don’t care what the reason behind the marriage law is. If I can’t be allowed to chose who I want to marry and happily spend the rest of my life having children with the person I chose, then I refuse to be tied down to one of the pigheaded racist gits who’ve done nothing but not only make my life miserable since day one of my entering the magical world but also the lives of every other muggleborn, half blood and non-human out there, and be miserable for the rest of my life. Nor do I plan to bring any future child of mine into such a loveless and hate filled marriage. When I marry it will be to someone I love, and my future children will grow up seeing that love and not whatever they’d be seeing if I were to marry someone I didn’t love.

Your law says that if we refuse to take part in your stupid law, you’ll come and arrest us and either send us to Azkaban for a few years and or snap our wands and obliviate all memories of the magical world? Well guess what? I say screw all of you. I reject your marriage law, and what it stands for and have snapped my own wand and I am sending the remains to you alongside this letter to dispose of yourselves, but I refuse to have my memories erased. I didn’t risk my life and freedom to live my life the way I want to live it fighting Voldemort to have it taken away again by the ministry and their stupid law that’s threatening everything I fought for.

By the time you get this letter I’ll already be long gone, and starting a new life elsewhere in another country, where I plan to seek asylum in the magical world there so I won’t have to deal with your crap anymore, and quite a few of my friends who feel the same way as I do are doing the same thing. Your law may have been intended to save the magical world, but instead its tearing apart what’s left of it, as those of us who won’t stand for it chose to leave the land we were born in rather than allow ourselves to be forced into marriage with people we can’t stand.

I personally wish all of you jerks good luck on your law and whatever’s left of the British magical population in oncoming years, because those of us who have chosen to leave have no intention of returning even if you repeal it now.

Sincerely Yours,
Hermione Jean Granger
Former Resident of the British Magic World


Author’s Notes:
(so what do you guys think of my take on the Rejection Letters stories out there? Usually the rejection letter stories are mainly about Harry, or someone he lives with, outright rejecting going to Hogwarts in his first year if he ever managed to send a reply out. So I decided to try and do a Marriage Law Rejection Letter spoof instead.

If anyone is interested, I’m willing to take any Marriage Law Rejection Letters they might want to write and post it here. The more the merrier I say, and it doesn’t all have to be about Hermione rejecting the law, but also letters from just about EVERYBODY in the Harry Potter gang who might have a beef about the law as well besides Hermione. lol)

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 785

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #2
By: Sakura Lisel
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To The Morons of the British Ministry of Magic,

Of all the idiotic, moronic things the bloody ministry has done in its life, this takes the cake. I don’t know how you managed to track me down after all these years, but I’m writing to tell you that you can take your marriage law and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine, because I’m not coming back to England to take part of it.

Didn’t all of you get the memo six years ago, or are all of you desperately in denial in trying to get me to come back to all of you? I guess I need to have to remind you people that I bloody LEFT your stupid society after I beat Lord Voldemort? I didn’t say any goodbyes to my friends or loved ones, not that I had anyone left worth saying goodbye to after the final battle to begin with, or even tell them where I was going for a good reason. I want no part of you people or any of your backwater laws that you happen to make over in England.

In the six years I have been gone, I’ve started a brand new life outside of the UK, and happen to like where I am, yet you jerks seem to think that just because you created this marriage law and send an announcement to me practically demanding that I return so I can marry someone you people in the ministry personally handpicked out for me? Well I say screw that.

As far as I’m concerned, I renounced all ties to Britain and its magical world the day I left it all behind, and any laws made over there have nothing to do with me anymore since I don’t consider myself a citizen of my former homeland anymore, so your lame ass laws do not involve me in any way what so ever as far as I’m concerned.

Though if you people still think you can try and hunt me down and drag me back there whether I want to or not, to obey your stupid law or not, and force me to marry someone I don’t want, I would like all of you to take a good, long look at the enclosed copies of my MARRIAGE DOCUMENTS, that clearly show that I am ALREADY legally married, and have been for the last three and a half years, so I am ineligible for your stupid law anyways since my current marriage exceeds your recently created law.

I LOVE my current wife, Hope C. Potter nee Spellbinder, and I wouldn’t give her up for anything in the world. I don’t care if some ancient magic’s you claim to have used for your law to find me my perfect match have paired me up with somebody else. As far as I’m concerned I’ve already found my perfect match on my own, and I won’t give her up for anybody and certainly not for a stupid law, and neither will she, and we don’t share, so I advise you to redo whatever spell you cast and find whoever my would be bride is a new groom because I will never be available to marry her no matter what anyone says.

So I wish everyone in the British isles good luck in finding people willing to obey your stupid law without a fight, and to stop bothering me, because I will never come back for any reason, and if any aurors still have the nerve to show up, I swear that I will return them to you people cut up into pieces in body bags curtesy of my wife’s handiwork.

Sincerely Yours,
Harry James Potter
Former Resident of the British Magic World

(At the bottom of the letter is a hand sketched enchanted drawing of what appears to be Harry Potter dressed in muggle clothes and giving the readers of his letter the finger over and over again.)


Author’s Notes:
Can anybody guess who Hope C. Spellbinder is? She’s a well-known animated villainous character. Though her Middle names initial and ‘Last’ name should hopefully be helpful clues. lol I’m almost tempted to do a story about these two for real...

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Ben 10 belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 598

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #2.5
By: Sakura Lisel
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To The Upstarts of the British Ministry of Magic,

You people have some absolute nerve. First you have the nerve to send multiple letters to my husband demanding that he not only divorce me and return to your society to marry someone you picked for him in a law, but you have the utter nerve to send your aurors here alongside his potential bride to pick him up after his repeated refusals to return and repeated warnings of what will happen if you ignored us?

Well you blowhards in the ministry can now reap what you sow. Your aurors and Harry’s would be bride are lucky I was in a good mood when they showed up on our doorstep making their absurd demands, or else I would have gone through with my threat of sending them back to you in body bags. Instead I hope you like the little talking totems I made of each of them that I sent back to you, and take good care of them and make sure nothing bad happens to them. The spell should wear off in three months or so and return them to their true forms.

I am currently pregnant with twins, and trust me when I say that all you are so lucky that I am under strict, and currently enforced, bed rest by both Harry and our healers because of my pregnancy so no doing any of my usual stress relieving magic attacks, or else I would be over there kicking all of your asses into the next millennium for even thinking you can take my husband away from me, or that I’ll let you are sadly mistaken. He’s mine, and mine alone and I don’t share with anybody for anyone for any reason.

As for the potential bride, please inform her family not to expect her to return home to England any time soon. Little Ms. Galatea Malfoy shall be staying here as an indentured maid servant of my family for the next three months as punishment for her snarky rude attitude, as the bitch had the nerve to try and seduce my husband in my presence as soon as she saw him, while insulting my family and myself. As punishment for her crimes, she will serve as a maid doing everything around the house for the next three months until she can learn to keep a civil tongue in her head, and if she can’t I’ll just remove it for her.

I dare you idiots in the ministry to just try and continue on this venue involving my husband and our current marriage to each other, and I assure you that you will not like the end result if you continue in this farce.

Sincerely Yours,
Hope ‘Charmcaster’ Potter nee Spellbinder


Author’s Notes:
A lot of people guessed correctly on who Hope C. Spellbinder was, so inspiration hit when I was trying to decide on what character would write the next letter, and decided to have Harry’s wife do one too. lol This letter is supposed to happen a few weeks after Harry’s letter was sent out.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 302

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #3
Submitted By: Somethingrandom22
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Ministry of Magic,

You imbecilic, idiotic fools. What unnatural, idiotic fool introduced this ridiculous and heinous idea? I may not have joined Lord Voldemort willingly, but this idiotic idea is much too ridiculous to take seriously. A marriage law? Really? I would like to have a little discussion with whomever introduced this. It is the most insane idea I have ever heard of.

The Great and Noble house of Malfoy wants nothing to do with your insane marriage law, despite what my sister may say otherwise. We are not defiling our pure blood by marrying some pathetic halfblood or muggleborn. If we choose to defile the pure and noble heritage of our family name, then it will be for love, not some pathetic marriage law you imbecile’s come up with.

You have said that you will penalize us, but I am telling you that I am moving to a place where they will respect my beliefs. I will never, ever, ever succumb to your idiocy.

Cordially, for I still believe in politeness,
Lord Draco Malfoy, head of the Great and Noble House of Malfoy.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Somethingrandom22. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Ben 10 belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 702

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #4: Letter From the Past
By: Sakura Lisel
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August 28, 1982,

Dear Ministry of Magic,

First of all, who the bloody hell do you people think you are? Thanks to the war with Voldemort, I bloody left England entirely as soon as I graduated from Hogwarts four years ago, because it is becoming far too dangerous for Muggleborns to live there anymore so I took the first chance I could get and left England as soon as I could.

You people have the unmitigated gall of sending me a letter telling me that I am required to return to England to take part in a bloody marriage law made over there, where I have to marry someone the ministry picked out for me? Well I say screw that.

I have settled down right where I am, and have no intention of dropping everything I’ve built up for myself here in America to go back to England to get married. As far as I am concerned I am under no such obligation to go back to that hellhole you people call a magical society and force myself to become the broodmare of some wizard I don’t want to be with.

Plus even if I did return, are you people crazy or what?! Who in their right mind possibly thought that James Bloody Potter would be the ‘perfect match’ for me?! I wouldn’t touch the git with a thousand foot pole, let alone allow myself be forced into marriage to that thing you people call an ‘upstanding wizard’.

I couldn’t stand the prick back in school, and have repeatedly refused all of his unwanted advances on my person, and I refuse to subject myself to HIM of all people because of some stupid law.

He is not my type. He will never be my type in a billion years, and I refuse to allow complete strangers to try and tell me otherwise thank you very much. I already know what kind of man I want in my life, and James Potter will never be that man.

Besides, now that I’ve finished my rant, and before you gits get all high and mighty about me showing ‘disrespect’ for your all mighty marriage law and try and send aurors after me to either force me to comply or arrest me, let me tell you something. I am not eligible for your stupid law to begin with, so you can’t punish me for not taking part in it.

Your bloody law specifically says that all ELIGIBLE and AVAILABLE witches and wizards have to take part in the law. Well guess what dumbasses? I not only am NOT eligible to take part in the law, but I’m also NOT available either, and I don’t have any intention of freeing myself up to take part in this stupid law.

I am currently ALREADY married, and have been so since about three years ago, and I am currently pregnant with my second born child. I have no intention of leaving my current husband or my children to go be married off to a dunderheaded git like James Potter. You will just have to find him some other bride to marry because I will never be available to be with him, no matter what any of you may have to say on the matter.

Do not contact me again about this ludicrous marriage law, and if I see any aurors on my property trying to take me in, I swear that I will hex all of them into the next millennium, that is if my husband doesn’t get to them first.

Sincerely Yours,
Lily Maria Tennyson nee Evans


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s another rejection letter, that’s also a crossover with Ben 10. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 341

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #5
Submitted By: ChaosDancer12
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Dear The so-called ‘Ministry of Magic.’

What the hell have you guys been smoking to come up with a prank like this?! My little sister received this letter in the post and several other letters detailing the same thing as well.

My little sister is only fourteen years old and I would rather die then let her get hitched against her own will to someone older then her!

I know that magic exists, but after checking with some friends and part-time co-workers of mine, who happen to be mages, I know that your silly ministry doesn’t exist.

My first reaction was to find a way to hunt you idiots down and beat the living daylights out of you but my sister convinced me that it was a better idea to send you idiots a letter on this, to warn you to leave us alone.

Bother us again and I will carry out my original plan for you and you will not like that. I tend to break things when I get angry, mainly bones and noses.

Reluctantly, although I wish I could track you guys down and beat some common sense into you.

Kai.

P.S: She will. You will not like my big sister when she gets mad, things get broken when she get’s mad and by broken, I mean broken beyond repair.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by ChaosDancer12. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 224

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #6
Submitted By: Moana Jay
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Ministry,

I must say this is one of your more fantastical ideas. It also seems that you are not getting a good response, both in my father’s magazine and in the real world. I almost pity you for it seems the Ministry has a large Nargle infestation. If you want to get rid of them I suggest getting rid of mistletoe and using Butterbeer corks.

However, I must ask why you would think me and Draco would be a good match, the letter was quite discerning in fact. Rather as if you forgotten my position in the war. Also, Draco and I are both pale and blonde our genetics together will surely be a disaster.

I would hope that the Nargles will either clear out soon, so you will be able to make intelligent choices, such as disbanding this law before you lose every single potential wizard to the MACUSA and other international magical communities. It would be a shame if a new dark lord was to uprise because of the ridiculous laws and prejudice enforced on young children. Because then you will have no chosen one to protect you, well one that will want to protect you.

I might say they might even win! Which actually might be good because then the marriage law will be gone! I could see my darling friends again!

Now I will not be leaving the country because I must help dad keep up with the Quibbler, however, if I see a single Auror over for any reason related to this law, well I have recently grown to breed Flooberworms and Heliopaths!

They also seem to like pants for some reason although I surely don’t know why.

Luna Lovegood
Co-author of The Quibbler, and officially licensed magical breeder.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Moana Jay. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 224

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #7
Submitted By: Flenwa
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Ministry,

Now normally I will trust you to do what is right but now I must ask: What are you doing! Again and again, this war has shown your other lack of intelligence and basic knowledge of politics. When you almost had Albus sent to Azkaban I thought that was the worse you can do, but clearly, I have misjudged how easily you fools can mess things up! I’m the Headmistress of this school! My job is to protect and care for the children and help them grow strong both in mind and magic! It is extremely hard to do that when you have a first-year muggle born receiving a letter saying she must marry a man more than double her age who she has nothing in common with comes crying to you, ready to run away! Not only have you driven away my former students you have driven away from the most capable wizards in this community! Without them, I’m afraid to see what we will do against threats!

Let me explain something to you, without powerful diverse families we have a stale breeding pool. Which causes mutations and early child deaths. So unless you choose the matched through actual genetic compatibility and not convenience, which I highly doubt. We will breed us out of existence or to the point where in order to survive we need to marry our own children. Without love and hope humans crumpled, the bad rushed in, and people lose faith. I’m warning you this law is stealing the one thing that has kept wizards going through these horrible wars. Don’t take it away, and if I ever get a letter assigning me to one of my pupils again I will send so may Howlers paint will be peeling off your walls. I will also teach children the benefits of anarchy and freedom and how corrupt governments always fall. Have a good day.

Minerva McGonagall
Headmistress of Hogwarts, Professor of Transfiguration


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Flenwa. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Tokyo Ghoul belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 538

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #8
Submitted By: Lunarwolf11021
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Dear Ministry of Idiots,

First of all, why in the name of magic did you contact me of all people? Last I checked, you were happy enough to throw me out of the country for being a ‘creature’. I actually fondly remember that day as it help free me of the shackles you’ve placed on the witches and wizards of your country.

Secondly, I am thoroughly offended that you actually think I’d be stupid or desperate enough to return to England. I am quite content with my life in Japan, thank you very much. I would prefer it if you didn’t attempt to contact me again. If you do, I will make no promises that your messenger will be left unscathed. And it won’t be me that does it, I’m done dealing with you people and have no intention of doing anything that can cause a war. My partner on the other hand will happily come to England and destroy the Ministry. And the main reason won’t be because of me, he just loves causing chaos and turning the world on it’s ear.

Thirdly, I am taken and have no intention of becoming Draco or Ronald Weasley’s wife. While I don’t mind the guy, I have no intention of ever becoming intimate in any way with him. Not to mention, Uta would probably kill Draco for even thinking about it. I barely managed to keep Uta from going all the way to England and killing Draco when he learned that Malfoy had a crush on me.

As for Weasley, you are bat shit insane if you think I’d touch that troll brained idiot with a ten foot pole even if I was starving. I’d rather eat garbage or marry Draco, no offense, Blondie. I will not marry either of them.

As it currently stands, Uta is about ready to go to England to kill you all. I’m heavily tempted to let him go if only for shits and giggles. Oh, the vision of magical England burning to the ground with all you pureblood bastards running around like chickens with your heads cut off is way too amusing for your safety. If you try anything, I will happily let him loose and join him if only to take out the idiots that seriously pissed me off.

Hope you bastards burn in hell or get eaten by ghouls,
Aria Harriet Potter, the so-called ‘Girl-Who-Lived’.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Lunarwolf11021. Go check out their story ‘The Ghoul and the Witch‘ to see Aria Potter and Uta’s adventures. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Slayers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 142

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #9
Submitted By: willowskeith
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Dear Ministry,

You have 3 seconds to evacuate before the Giga Slave hits.

From
Lina Potter nee Inverse

Ps. Times up


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by willowskeith. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and My Little Pony belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 281

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #10
Submitted By: willowskeith
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Dear Ministry of Magic,

No we shall not give you our beloved prince and husband. As we have already informed you multiple times he is already married. Also please stop sending humans through the portal. Our sister has been complaining about us sending them to her moon, Fluttershy has told Discord to stop turning them into chickens, and the rest gave cerberus a stomachache ache so we are running out of places to put them. Any more unauthorized intrusions into our lands will be considered an act of war.

Sincerely,
Her Highness, Princess Celestia Potter, Defeater of Discord, Princess and Raiser of the Sun and dau, Princess of Equestria, Former barer of the Elements of Harmony, Wife of Prince Harry James Potter, Sister and Sister-wife of Her Highness, Princess Luna Potter (Princess of the Moon, Night, and Dreams), Teacher and Mentor of Princess Twilight Sparkle-Granger (Princess of Friendship, Element of Magic, Wife of Hermione Sparkle-Granger)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by willowskeith. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and One Piece belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 688

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #11
Written By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: death goddess Lena
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Dear Ministry of Magic and the bumbler known as Albus Dumbledore,

I do not know who you people are, or how you even found my darling Historia in order to send that ludicrous letter to her telling her that she has been ‘selected’ for some marriage law you losers concocted, but I am writing to tell you it will NEVER happen.

Your letters arrived in my bedroom via that red and gold phoenix who wouldn’t go away until somebody took the letters. As I am writing these letters, my darling Historia is lying sound asleep next to me in our bed resting up after a hard night of partying and drinking, so I decided to open the letters to see what they contained and I am glad that I did.

Historia Ivy Potter is not available to take part in your law. She is happily married to me, and vice versa, and we have been married for the last year and a half. If you people find a way to our location, it will not end well for you if you come here wanting to take back Historia, because you will have to deal with myself and our crew before you will have a chance in hell of taking her away without a fight.

Cordially Yours,
Captain Zevran Shanks
Captain of The Redhair Pirates
Third Emperor of the New World

P.S. Hello, this is from Historia Ivy Shanks nee Potter. I just woke up in time to discover my darling husband writing this letter, and decided to add my own two knuts into it before we sent it back. First of all, I left you people and escaped to another world to get AWAY from your stupidity and nonsense and I refuse to put up with it anymore. I bet you justwantme back because I cleaned out my families vaults when I left so you can’t ‘confiscate’ them.

Even if I could go back, don’t hold your breaths thinking that I will comply with this absurd law. I’m happily married and have no intention of leaving the man I love for some stuck up pureblood wizard, and I assure you that anyone who tries to force me won’t like the consequences of what Zevran and I, along with our crew, will do to you people as a result.

Besides not only do I love my husband, but he is basically ROYALTY as well if you couldn’t tell from Zevrans ‘Emperor’ title. Tell me what could my possible potential wizard husband even HOPE to give me that will replace being married to royalty if I chose to obey your stupid law? The answer is absolutely nothing, because I would be both crazy and extremely stupid to give either one up for some puny little pureblood wizard who has no hope in comparing to what I now have.

Lady Historia Ivy Shanks nee Potter
Co-Captain of the Redhair Pirates


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently requested to my review box by death goddess Lena who wanted a letter written by One Pieces Shanks who is married to a female Harry Potter. Thanks for the request. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol what do you think of Shanks first name? I don’t think they ever gave him one in the series other than Shanks, so I gave him the Zevran name.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 431

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #12
Submitted By: WhiteElfElder
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Dear Ministry of Greed,

I will gladly abide by your Ministry Law that requires me to get married if only the following items are proclaimed through an unbreakable vow:

  1. The Minister position will forever be disbanded and the Magical Council will be re-instated.
  2. All magical beings will be given the right to use wands or other foci.
  3. All those that are still alive that have been accused of working for a Dark Lord are tried under truth serum and truth compulsion charms. If found to have willingly participated in crimes then they will be subjected to the appropriate law.
  4. All those that work for the Ministry will make an Unbreakable vow to work for the betterment of all magicals and never work to subjugate magicals.
  5. Those that are employed at Hogwarts take a similar vow to number 4 above
  6. I am not required to marry anyone that I do not approve of (definitely nobody more than 2 years older or younger than me)
  7. The Ministry remove the ban on a magic user practicing magic in their own home.
  8. All magical children are tested at Gringotts to see if they are descended from any magical line and given what is their right of said descendancy.
  9. Designations of pureblood, halfblood, and muggleborn be abolished and not used for employment acceptance or denial.
  10. Squibs are no longer banished from families or killed.
  11. Education into the magical world start as soon as a child is found to display magic or age 5 whichever comes first.
  12. Pureblood children are taught about non-magicals starting no later than the age of 5.
  13. All Dementors are to be put through the Veil of Death.

Signed,
Hermione J. Granger
Granger of Grangers

(you thought to hide that my family was descended of a magical family...as if!)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by WhiteElfElder. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Full Metal Alchemist belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 208

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #13
Submitted By: ultima-owner
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

No you can not have State Alchemist Water Charmer. She is needed to fix the damage that the military coup caused. Even if that wasn’t the case, we find the fact that you keep sending agents to steal her away...very annoying. As the Führer of Amestris, it is my duty to inform you if you send anymore I will send them to Briggs. They aren’t known for their mercy.

Sincerely,
Führer Roy Mustang, The Flame Alchemist


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by ultima-owner. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Avengers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 430

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #14
Submitted By: Archangel N. Bloodraven
===============================

Dear Ministry of MORONS:

I truly cannot understand how many times you expect me to save you from disasters of your own making. To put this in small terms you can understand?

I. Am. Happily. Married. I have a husband and wife, both of whom I had to distract from their intended response to this foolishness.

My husband Loki hates his heritage, but was fully prepared to embrace his Jotun side to neutralize this threat by any means necessary. Which for him would be sneaking into Asgard, stealing the Casket of Ancient Winters and freezing the ministry and everyone in it solid. Do you have any idea how hard it is debate someone called Silvertongue? He very nearly convinced me to let him do it by arguing that the good people are equally wrong for letting this legal abomination stand.

My wife Hecate was truly livid at the follow-up that claimed this law was magically binding. The only reason she hasn’t started stripping idiots of her gift was because I managed to remind her that this law tangles the innocent and guilty together and she is meant to be neutral. She can’t take your magic just because she wants to. However if you continue to push the envelope she will stop caring or worse conspire with our husband, the Silvertongue.

Voldemort. Loki. Hecate. Three strikes. Come after me again and not only will I refuse to save you fools, I swear on my magic that my family will completely wipe magical Britain off the map.

Me. Loki. Hecate. Fenrir. Jormunger. Hel. Sleipnir. Uncle Thor. Lady Frigga. All of us.

Do not push me on this. You will NOT win.

Lady Magdalena Ivy Potter-Black-Pervell-Friggason
Girl-Who-Lived
Woman-Who-Won
Mistress of Death
Favored of Hecate
Princess of Asgard and Jotuheim


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Archangel N. Bloodraven. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Hellsing belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 213

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #15
Submitted By: willowskeith
===============================

Dear Chief Replacements,

I am just sending you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you are curious about the frequency of which I have sent these letters it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey, which I will then feed to Harry, who I will then proceed to have sex with. That’s right I’m gonna fuck your savior.

Follow me on twitter thecrimsonfucker.

Sincerely,
Girlycard Potter

Ps. Please send more snacks. The last batch stopped screaming already.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by willowskeith. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Hetalia - Axis Powers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 218

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #16
Submitted By: unknownwolf1996
===============================

Dear Ministry,

Ah, Harry Potter. I haven’t heard that name in centuries. I go by Vanya, now...and what the hell are you spouting about with this, about a marriage law? No way. Nu uh. Not going to happen. For one, I am old, and two, I already have a partner. So I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t try and force me into a marriage with someone thousands of years younger than me, da?

Sincerely,
Ivan Mikhailovich Bazarov
Aka, Vanya
Aka Personification of the Russian city of Novgorod
AKA Formerly Harry Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by unknownwolf1996. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 210

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #17
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

‘Dear M.o.M.,

Thank you for sending all of those loverly ‘ordurves to me and my new husband’s wedding reception last week.. We had just run out of finger foods when they arrived.

ahem

I’m not going to return to the backwards, caprice, moronic magical nation that worships me one moment, and vilifies me the next!

So take your marriage laws and stuff them up your...

Just leave me and mine alone, or B.K. will destroy you!

Never to see you again,
P.K. (formerly: H.J.P.)’


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Z and Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 827

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #18: Android Husband
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear LOSERS of the Ministry of Magic,

You people have a lot of nerve! I haven’t been in the magical world in seven years, yet just because you came up with this ludicrous marriage law, you people stupidly thought that you can order ME to come back to that hell hole I left behind and let you chose my spouse for me? Well you can just forget that because it’s never going to happen! Thanks to the war, there is nothing left for me over there that would possibly make me go back, and as long as that marriage law is going on over there, then I am definitely not coming back even now.

I could care less if you people are ‘on the brink of extinction’ or not and ‘need’ me to return to marry some wizard of your choice in order to ‘help repopulate the magical world’. It’s not my problem anymore since the day I left your backwater society as far as I am concerned.

I did my part the second I killed off Voldemort for you wimps, and I refuse to do anything more for the society that did nothing but make my life miserable for the first seven years I was living there, by treating me like a hero one second then treating me like a villain the next because I did something you guys don’t like or approve of. All of you looked to me for help all the time, but where were you when I was the one who needed help? Yet after everything I did to save your sorry hides before I left, you ‘expect’ me to come back and give more to you by pimping out my body to some wizard I don’t know? Well you can forget that.

I am already happily married to the man of my dreams for the last five years, and have no intention of leaving him because of this lame marriage law you came up with. Even if I was available to take part in this stupid law of yours, the answer will still be no. I don’t want anything to do with the morons of the British Isles, and I refuse to become the broodmare of some stuck up pureblood. I don’t owe you people anything at all anymore.

I washed my hands of you morons the second I left and took my godson Theodore Lupin (now Potter) with me along with all of my families vaults that belong to the Potter, Blacks, and Lupin. My husband and I are raising Teddy and our three other kids together where we are, and are quite happy with our way of life, as a Magical Zoologist.

I give you loser’s one chance to leave me alone if you know what’s good for you, or else you will face the consequences. You won’t just have to face off with me, but my darling Lapis as well, because when the letters arrived with your ‘request’ that I come back and take part in your law, he wasn’t that pleased. It took me three hours to calm him down, and talk him out of traveling all the way to England to destroy the ministry of magic.

Last warning. Keep pushing us, and I swear on my life and magic that we’ll make what Voldemort and his Death Munchers did look like child’s play, done by perfect little angels, and we won’t hold back against anyone who messes with us and our family, and we’ll finish what Voldemort didn’t do.

Sincerely hope to never hear from you people again,
Lady Halinor Juniper Jinzoningen nee Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s another rejection letter, that’s also a crossover with Dragon Ball Z and Super. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol I gave Android 17 the name Lapis for his first name, and made his Android name his last name. For those of you who don’t know it yet, Akira Toriyama himself that Lapis is Android 17’s real name, while Lazuli is Android 18’s name.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 331

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #19
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear Ministry Dingbats,

Are you people bloody nuts?! Two words. Millicent Bulstrode?! Of all the witches you people COULD HAVE picked for ME, you had to bloody pick Millicent Bulstrode?!

No way in bloody hell is she the ‘perfect match’ for me! She’s nothing more than a slimy Slytherin. Even if she wasn’t a Slytherin, I still wouldn’t touch her even with a 1,000 foot pole even if you paid me to shag her, let alone have kids with her. I’m already having nightmares of what our kids will look like!

Find me somebody else to marry, otherwise I’m out of here. In fact I’ll snap my wand myself and send the pieces to you just to prove how much I won’t marry Millicent Bulstrode of all witches!

Why couldn’t you have the heart to pair me up with Hermione Granger, or one of the other girls. Though thanks to you clods, I can’t even have Hermione since she ran away as soon as this law came out and she saw who you were trying to pair her up with, and I have no clue where she is now. Thanks a lot for ruining my chance to be with the woman of my dreams!

Ronald Billius Weasley


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 576

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #20: Ministry Response
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: MAHA1959
===============================

Dear {Insert Name Here},

In response to your previous letter, it is my honored duty to inform you that you are hereby ordered by the Ministry of Magic to participate in the Marriage Law that was enacted the previous month. Failure to comply willingly will have you tracked down and detained with a possible one year spent in Azkaban as punishment before you will be married to your ministry approved spouse. Further refusal to comply shall have your wand snapped and your magic bound.

As a citizen of our great and prestigious government it is your solemn duty to comply with the newly instated marriage law in order to keep our people from dying out. With the growing birthrate of Squibs being born after the recent war, combined with the number of record breaking deaths from the previous war, our numbers are severely dwindled.

The ministry has gone to great lengths and used powerful spells to find each potential couple the perfect and compatible spouse for them, and our methods are always 100% accurate in the selection process and has a high potential of producing magical offspring. If you have married someone else then your choice in life partner is simply wrong and simply must be ended effective immediately.

Whether you have left the country and have already married while away is a moot point, because as a citizen of the British Magical world, you are now hereby required to dissolve whatever relationships you are currently in effective immediately, and are to return to Britain to marry your Ministry approved spouse to help our dwindling society thrive.

We hope you make the right choices in your future, and comply with the marriage law. It is for the greater good of the magical world that you do so.

Sincerely yours,
Lilith B. Crawford, ESQ.
Head Director of Regulation of Magical Marriages Ministry Department

P.s. Threats made by both you and your current partners will be ignored and dealt with appropriately by magical law enforcement, if we have to send aurors after you to bring you back home.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update is the twentieth in the series, and I decided to make it a special letter. This letter was recently requested to my review box by MAHA1959 who wanted a letter written by the Ministry of Magic in response to all of the rejection letters they’ve been receiving involving their beloved law. Thanks for the request.

I didn’t even think Marriage Law Rejection Letters would even be this popular when I first started it or get this far. I’m glad everyone seems to like it, and thanks to everyone who submitted their own letters to it.

If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol Plus anybody want to submit a letter that responds to the Ministry of Magics attempt at rejecting the Rejection Letters movement?

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 289

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #21
Submitted By: decoy73
===============================

To the Minister of Magic:

After careful review, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has come to a unanimous decision:

We do not recognize the validity of the Marriage Law, and refuse to enforce it in any way. No member of the Auror Department will carry out any arrest connected to this insane law. The sheer number of complaints in forms ranging from strongly worded letters, to Howlers, to scathing denunciations by legal experts and laypeople alike only brings the frivolity and idiocy of this law and those who support it into sharp relief.

You have five days to repeal this law, otherwise the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and the Auror Department will call for a vote of no confidence in the Wizengamot. Consider your next move very carefully, as any further attempt to force this ridiculous law down the throats of an already irate and dissatisfied populace will likely have you wishing you simply resigned in disgrace.

Respectfully,
Pansy Scarlett Parkinson
Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by decoy73. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Full Metal Alchemist belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 153

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #22
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Thank you for the new recruits! They’re still a little green, but they’ll be up-to-snuff-soon-enough!

Lt. Col. Jostanos ‘Sonic’ Crux


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Labyrinth belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 385

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #23
Submitted By: Archangel N. Bloodraven
===============================

Dearly Esteemed Ministry of Magic:

I must applaud your efforts. Not in drafting this asinine law, that’s beyond the pale.

No, you have bred an owl that managed to successfully navigate the labyrinth to deliver this tripe. I haven’t seen that sort of brilliance since my dearly departed Hedwig.

Now, whichever pureblood you matched me to with your “powerful spells” that you used to count your bribe money... wait. You lot call them campaign donations, yeah?

Anyway, whichever inbred cousin marrying dullard paid top galleon to turn me into a broodmare can go bugger off. My husband, King Jareth, is highly possessive and has little patience for stupidity.

If you feel the need to invade our lands to try and “reclaim” me, I feel it only sporting to warn you that the Labyrinth is our first line of defense and completely controlled by the royal line. Jareth may give you a fair chance to reach the castle and fall to your own hubris along the way, but I am not nearly as charitable towards those trying to control me. I will make the Bog of Eternal Stench your final resting place.

That’s not a threat, duckies. That’s a promise.

Her Royal Majesty, The Goblin Queen
Magdalena Ivy Potter-Black
Lady of the Labyrinth

PS: I’m keeping your owl. Such brilliance should be rewarded. My husband will be delivering this response PERSONALLY to eliminate claims of misplaced response. That’s right. The glaring white owl might just have a surprise if you keep pushing the issue.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Archangel N. Bloodraven. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 267

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #24
Submitted By: ChaosDancer12
===============================

Dear The Queen,

We, your loyal magical civilians, are writing you this letter to explain why we have been leaving the UK recently.

It is because of the recent Marriage Law that the Ministry of Magic has been trying to enforce.

We are getting tired of their hissy fits and we request that you do something about it.

Some of us are already married to those of our choosing and with children and the Ministry of Magic has recently sent us death threats, saying that if we do not return, our children will pay the price.

And as a mother myself, I am disgusted that these idiots think that they can dictate our lives and the lives of our children.

Magical Britain is on the verge of another war and we would like it settled peacefully without innocents and non-magicals getting hurt.

Thank you.
Your former magical civilians.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Archangel N. Bloodraven. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,060

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #25
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear Backstabbers of the Ministry of Magic,

Oh, HELL NO! No way. No how. Not even if the world is about to end and we were the last two humans AND magicals on the planet! I’ll let humanity die out first before I will bed down with HIM and have HIS demon spawn growing inside of me!

I especially also don’t apreciate the letter you sent having heavy compulsions on them that would try and make me feel obligated to come do what you people want against my will! Obviously they didn’t work since I’m still not there.

Can’t you people take a bloody hint?! I LEFT over seven and a half years ago! I no longer want ANYTHING to do with ANY of you OR your petty little war with Voldemort! After that farce of a trial in my fifth year, you jerks took away my wand and snapped it before kicking me out of your lame society on trumped up charges of underaged magic.

You kicked me out because of my ‘lies‘ about Voldemorts return, yet when it turned out I WASN’T lying, all of you thought you could come and disrupt my newly found peaceful life and get me to fight him again?

With the help of the goblins and godfather, Sirius Black, I moved out of England 24hrs after you people kicked me out, sought asylum and citizenship in the country I now call home. I have a new wand, and have completed my education over here. I’ve already spoken to a wizard lawyer, and they told me that by I.C.W. laws, you people have no jurisdiction over me anymore the second you kicked me out and I gained citizenship elsewhere.

If you remember our last encounter on this subject, you will do well to remember that I no longer consider myself a citizen of the British Isles, nor do I feel the need to follow whatever laws that are created over there. I would think after the number of Aurors I sent St. Mungos after they tried to force me back that you people would have learned your lessons by now.

Now all these years later, you morons think you can get peace from HIM by making this absurd marriage law, and promise MY hand in marriage to HIM as part of the peace treaty?! And you seriously thought I would go along with it when I heard the ‘good news‘? Like hell I will! If I wouldn’t come back to fight the guy for you, I sure as hell won’t marry him for you either! You people are on your own for THAT one.

Luckily for me, I’m not obligated to do so anyways, after I made some extra steps years ago to stop this stuff from happening after a previous attempt to force me into marriage to someone I will never want. I’ve signed up for an unbreakable magical contract called the Laws of Arcadia. You brits should have records of these laws somewhere because every other country knows about it and supports it.

In short and simple terms, the Laws of Arcadia automatically block any and all attempts to enter me into a contract I didn’t personally agree to. So if you already tried drafting a marriage contract for me, or any other type of contract thats supposed to have my name on it, you must have noticed by now that all attempts to put my name on said contract have instantly all failed since my name should fade away as soon as its written down on any contract. That’s the true beauty of the Laws of Arcadia that made me chose it as a surefire way to get out of situations like this. Plus anybody who tries to break the rules set in the contract I created will also automatically be punished by the contracts magic unless I cancel it.

The only way your getting my name on those contracts is if I fully consent to it myself, and I sign it myself, and only after a LONG series of tests to make sure I’m NOT under the influence of mind altering spells, potions, etc. The tests are to also determine whether or not if the person claiming to be me is an imposter using polyjuice or even a metamorph to impersonate me to sign the contract.

I don’t care what you were thinking, trying to make me marry HIM of all people. Its never going to happen. I will destroy magical Britain myself before I will ever consent to marry HIM of all people. I will not subject myself to being married to the monster who made my life a living hell to save all of you. Its not my job or my responsibility and hasn’t been so since the day all of you kicked me out of your society.

Good luck with your ‘peace treaty’. You’ll NEED it once he finds out my answer.

Eclipsa Fern Potter

P.s. You won’t have long to hear from the dark wanker, because by the time you get this letter, all of the magical newspapers will be releasing front page articles with copies of this letter along with a copy of the one you sent me. There will also be copies of those newspapers sent directly to him, so I wouldn’t bother trying to come up with a lie to tell him if you value your lives. This is what you you guys get for trying to sell me off as broodmare to my worst enemy.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 300

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #26
Submitted By: Archangel N. Bloodraven
===============================

Young Fools at the Ministry:

You managed to get something through our mail wards. I have no idea how you managed that but thanks. It ought to keep Penny occupied for a few hours this weekend patching the hole in our security.

As far as this whole marriage nonsense goes, I’ve been happily married for over six hundred years. My magical line is strong because I insist on my children following their hearts and not marrying anyone who shows up on the family tapestry. Diversified bloodlines. You should try it sometime.

So to conclude, bugger off young bloods. You’re far too young to keep up with this spry old man.

Signed,
Nicolas Flamel AKA Harry James Potter

P.S.

In the interest of saving resources I’m attaching my refusual to this reply as well. Our vows say until death do us part. And you’re not him, so as my husband so crassly puts it, take your compulsion laced marriage nonsense and bugger off.

Signed,
Pernelle Flamel, AKA Hermione Jean Granger


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Archangel N. Bloodraven. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sword Art Online belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 464

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #27
Submitted By: jgkitarel
===============================

To The Ministry of Magic,

I would presume that you are all in possession of your faculties, but after receiving the demand you sent me, I am beginning to doubt that.

I will, under no circumstance, consent to returning to the United Kingdom to marry someone. Not only am I already married, I have been for seven years. You all should know this, as Ms. Skeeter reported on the wedding, though the circumstances of it were certainly unusual. And before you challenge me on the legality of my marriage, my wife, Keiko, and I filed our marriage licenses last year and they were accepted. We are currently awaiting the birth of our first child, due in three months time.

I had agreed to remain in Japan after the events I had been involved in, first to recover, and then due to the political mess that was the Ministry of Magic doing some much-needed house cleaning. Unfortunately, it didn’t stick, and I am sure that His Majesty has already informed you that this law has no legal ground to step on, and if he has to intervene, well, you won’t enjoy the results of that.

And don’t worry about those you sent to force the issue. I have been assured that three of them will be out of the hospital in a week from when I am writing this letter. When they will be released from Japanese custody is another matter and none of my concern. The other two helped in subduing their compatriots, largely to keep me from using lethal force, as one had the gall to turn his wand on my pregnant wife. A wife who, surprise, surprise, is married to a lord, me, due to ancient and binding magics placed by my ancestors to ensure that the Potter family is continued. Magics, mind you, that are still there and in effect.

Be glad that nothing unfortunate happened. Had it, I would be delivering my response to you personally.

At sword point.

Regards,

Harry James Potter


‘‘
Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by jgkitarel. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 227

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #28
Submitted By: Lawyer
===============================

You have trespassed on our state borders with ill intentions. Your organization will be prosecuted on international level like any other common terrorist. We’ll met in Strassbourg or Den Haag - that will depend on number of bodies of our citizens. Our citizens are secured by our security forces. Try to take them hostily only on your own peril.

Signed by Representants of:
Magical Congress of the United States of America
Assemble Nationale de Magique
Magieburo der Bundesrepublik
Министерство Магии России
Mahō no Nihon-shō
Ministerio de la magia de Reino de España
Ministero della Magia della Repubblica Italiana
Ministerstvo magii Reczpospolity Polskej
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom with agreement of The Crown


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Lawyer. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Tenchi Muyo belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 777

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #29
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Ah, Alvida Jacinta Potter. It’s been such a long time since I last answered to that name, that I nearly forgot that it once was mine at some point. Oh my, I truly can’t believe it’s been such a LONG time since I last heard from you people, that I nearly forgot you existed. I recently recieved this absurd letter demanding that I return to England to take part in a ‘marriage law’ you came up with?

I flat out refuse to take place in your pitiful little law. Not only am I not available to take part in it because I am already happily married, to a great man, but I am now also about a thousand years too old to be even remotely interested in whatever wizard you have in mind for me, thanks to the life I now lead with my husband and family, and I will not give up either for a immature little man-child of a wizard who is CENTURIES too young for me.

By Earths calender, it’s only been one year since the final battle against Voldemort. One year since my life as Alvida Jacinta Potter ended as far as I am concerned since the day I snuck into the Department of Mysteries and walked through the Veil of Death.

Yes, you read correctly. I walked through the Veil of Death as the reason you haven’t found me until now. I decided it was the only way to get away from the craziness that was my so called life, and the only way you people wouldn’t be able to find me.

But instead of dying like I expected when I went through the Veil, I somehow not only survived, but I somehow wound up about thousand years in the past. I made a new life for myself there, when I met my current husband, who I am still a happily married to, when I was twenty-seven years old.

My husband is known as Emperor Azusa Masaki Jurai, and he is an immortal alien ruler from a planet known as Jurai who happened to be visiting Earth a thousand years ago when we met and fell in love. I married him and he gifted myself with the same immortality he and his people possess, as the reason why I am still alive even now.

I have lived a long and happy life with my husband and our family and have no reason to disrupt it for a troublesome past that no longer has anything to do with me as I am concerned. Here’s a small warning.

If you know what’s good for you, leave me and my family alone because you won’t like what will happen if you don’t. That’s both a threat and a promise.

I just happened to be on Earth with my husband and sister-wife attending the wedding of my grandson when your ministry owls tracked me down, otherwise I highly doubt that your owls would have never found me at all otherwise. Don’t bother coming after me, because by the time you receive this letter, I’ll be well on my way home to Planet Jurai, and I seriously doubt you medieval backwater wizards have somehow developed spells that would allow you to travel to other planets.

Sincerely hope to never hear from you people again,

First Empress Lady Funaho Masaki Jurai

Formerly known as Alvida Jacinta Potter

P.s. My darling Azuza wholeheartedly agrees and is more than willing to declare war with the magical world before he will let you take me away, and you wizards have no chance in hell in surviving if you chose to push this matter, that is if you do somehow find a way all the way to Jurai.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s another rejection letter, that’s also a crossover with Tenchi Muyo. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 190

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #30
Submitted By: tanzar81
===============================

Most Honorable and Respected Ministry for Magic of Great Brittan.

I just wished to impress upon you how grateful I am that you came up with this wonderful law. Who would have ever thought that in just three months that a marriage law of all things would drive everyone capable of resisting my rise to power from our wonderful shores.

With my deepest gratitude,

The Dark Lady Lovegood.

(Long live the Nargle)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by tanzar81. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Once Upon A Time belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 285

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #31
Submitted By: WhiteElfElder
===============================

Dear Ministry of Micro Minds,

I will keep this simple, I reject any notion that you think you can tell me what to do. To that end, I have countered the magic of this letter with a bit of magic of my own taught to me by Uncle Rumple...now, whomever was party to this magic will find their fortunes vanishing, their reproductive capabilities non-existent, and an inability to stop any and all pain from being felt.

That is right, you will live with pain from the simplest of things till the day you pass on. If you keep bothering me, then I will also add a bit more magic to make sure you can never die even if that means you do nothing but lie in a bed for eternity feeling pain!

Grand Nephew of Rumplestiltskin

Harry James Potter

P.S. Don’t try sending anyone after me, as my uncle is not nearly as lenient as I am.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by WhiteElfElder. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Tenchi Muyo GXP belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 508

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #32
Submitted By: jgkitarel
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic,

Well now, it’s not every day that I actually get asked by someone to handle a personal matter. Young Harry was on shore leave, using this opportunity to return to Earth for a friendly visit, even if he was restricted to visiting Japan at the time when he received your missive. I won’t be so crass as to call it a demand, but we all know what it really was. Now, I feel it necessary to explain why I am answering for him, instead of him.

He entered my service when he was somehow transported onto my ship, a security hole that I am still trying to work out. Given his emotional state at the time, and discussions with him, it was quite interesting to find out that he had attempted suicide via an artifact that is called the ‘Veil of Death‘.

I have a few in my service who have been in bad places psychologically, so I let my doctors and psychologists work on him, trying to help him come to terms with everything he’s been through. I should know, I’ve needed such help myself long ago, during my childhood. Once he was as psychologically sound as we could get him, anything else would be on him, I gave him an offer, one he accepted, especially when he found out that abilities like his are far more common off of Earth. Not the same, but similar enough.

So, he entered my service, accepting a position in my crew, and being trained to serve the Juraian Military. Unusual, but there is some precedent for it. Why he isn’t even the first from Earth to do so, though I usually direct them to other groups who are more used to taking in those from underdeveloped worlds. Anyway, he can’t be bothered to respond to this, as he has duties which take far more precedence than the whims of a provincial government that is a backwater society to a backwater world. But, I’ve been needing something to keep myself occupied. Considering what he’s told me, you all will suffice to keep me occupied and entertained for a couple of decades at the least.

I will be showing up personally shortly.

Lady Seto Kamiki Jurai


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by jgkitarel. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sailor Moon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 723

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #33
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: death goddess Lena
===============================

Moronic Miscreants of the British Ministry of Magic,

I do not know who you people are, or even WHY in kami’s name you are writing to me about your silly little marriage law. I have far more important things to do with my time and my life to be harassed by a bunch of magic using gaijins in another country that I don’t even live in nor do I consider myself a citizen of said country. I don’t even practice your brand of magic to begin with, and I have more important priorities to deal with right now, than to become broodmare to some gaijin wizard I don’t know or even want.

Plus I am not this Aelita Lilith Potter whom you people seem to think I am who all of your letters are addressed to, and even if I was, I don’t have any intention to ‘go back’ to a country I have never lived in before to take part in a marriage law I have no interest in at all. It’s not my problem if you people are ‘running low’ on your population and need every witch and wizard to ‘help’ repopulate it, and it’s not my job to help repopulate it.

Even if I somehow was this Potter girl, why in kami’s name are you trying to contact me now? I’m not a part of your country or society and have never been a part of it, since I have never left Japan in all these years, so I have no clue why a country I have never lived in before seems to think it can conscript me into a marriage law that I once again refuse to be a part of, and have no obligation to ‘help’ you morons if I don’t want to.

I especially don’t appreciate the kidnapping attempt by your law enforcers. A bunch of weaklings of no worth in my eyes, especially since they were following the orders of that fat and garishly pink human toad hybrid woman, Dolores Umbridge, who had the absolute gall to try and order me around as if she expected me to obey her and her beloved ministries orders after they illegally broke into my home. I am more than happy to inform you that she learned the hard way that will never happen.

My followers and ‘pets’ truly enjoyed ‘playing’ with your former employees for hours before the weaklings finally stopped moving and screaming. You’ll find their remains in the boxes I sent back along with this letter.

I also advise you to take a good and long look at the condition of the remains of your employees and then simply imagine that happening to every man, woman, and child in your country whom you say this marriage law is for, and think very carefully upon your next course of action, because I’m being kind right now by not leading my forces against your so called ministry, otherwise my forces and I will lay waste to your puny little country faster than you can blink an eye just for annoying me so much.

Sincerely,

Queen Beryl Kushinada


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box as a request by death goddess Lena for a Sailor Moon type Rejection Letter. I almost made this letter from one of the Sailor Scouts, but then I decided to do one from Queen Beryl instead. lol I might do another one later from another Sailor Moon character who’s a Harry Potter character. Any ideas or requests for who if I do?

Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sailor Moon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 759

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #34
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: Fire’s Son3
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

We as the adopted mothers and magical guardians of one Hotaru Tomoe, formerly known as Hailey Potter, are writing to you to tell you that our daughter will not be taking part in this ludicrous marriage law over in England. Our ward is no longer a citizen of your country and hasn’t been since she was a baby and is under no obligation to obey whatever laws that are made over there in her absence.

If you are wondering why we are writing this letter to you instead of Hotaru writing it herself, that’s another thing to take into consideration about why she will not be taking part in your silly little law. Because of a magical accident involving the family who was raising her before, Hotaru was physically and mentally deaged about five years ago, and is now currently four years old instead of being the nineteen year old grown woman you were expecting when you sent her this absurd letter.

Young Hotaru also currently has the mind of a four year old with none of the memories of her previous life as a teenager, and there is no way to change her back so we are allowing her to grow up all over again the old fashioned way to have a better life.

So unless you British wizards are a bunch of pedophiles, and actually want to forever be known to the rest of the magical world in other countries as that, I’d advise you to take Hotaru permanently off of whatever list of possible husbands you have made for her already, because it will be a long time before she will be marrying anybody, and she is no longer legally eligible to take part in this law even if we didn’t object to it.

Sincerely,

Setsuna Meiou

Michiru Kaioh

Haruka Tenou

P.S. Anybody who still shows up looking for her, or tries to take her away from us, will not like the consequences of what I will do against such actions, against my family, and will be lucky to leave here in one piece afterwards. -Haruka Tenou

P.P.S. Haruka will do it too, and I will gladly help her in dealing out proper punishment to anyone who tries to take Hotaru away from us. So will all of our friends who won’t stand idly by and let you people try and take Hotaru away. She was very well liked before she was deaged, and everyone who knows her will stand by our side on this matter. -Michiru Kaioh

P.P.p.s. Before you people get any ideas about trying to shanghai the three of us for this marriage law, the answer is no, we are not available to take part in the law either. Haruka and Michiru are already happily married to each other, and I have no interest in marriage to anyone at all for the forseeable future. Plus we already have been in contact with the Japanese Ministry of Magic, and they should have sent a warning letter to you as well by now about trying to kidnap its citizens. -Setsuna Meiou


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box as a request by Fire’s Son3 for a Sailor Moon type Rejection Letter. I almost made this letter from one of the Sailor Scouts, but then I decided to do one from Hotaru Tomoe/Sailor Saturn instead. lol

Though I improvised, and made it an angry rejection letter written by her adopted mom’s since the marriage letter would have come out a few years after Sailor Moon S and Hotaru is currently deaged. I might do another one later from another Sailor Moon character who’s a Harry Potter character. Any ideas or requests for who if I do?

Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and KanColle/Kantai Collection belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 290

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #35
Submitted By: jgkitarel
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic,

All right you bloody idiots. What in your right minds would make you even think that I would take this farce of a demand of yours seriously? First, you don’t have the authority to pass such a law. Second, I am busy fighting a war against a threat to humanity. Third, Warspite has read your demand and is likely visiting the Admiralty, the Prime Minister, and, in all likelihood, Her Majesty.

Considering that all of you have been warned, repeatedly, that their patience with you is running thin, you can expect a visit from them. And knowing Warspite, she’s going to be bringing a Destroyer Division or a Cruiser Squadron with her. One of whom has probably received a similar letter since she is a Hogwarts alumni, herself. You might even recall her, HMS Hermione, born Hermione Granger. Natural Born Shipgirl, and now a Light Cruiser in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy.

From,
Admiral Harry James Potter, MBE, VC, GC


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by jgkitarel. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn! belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 524

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #36
Submitted By: FunestiNoctu121
===============================

Dear Corrupt Minister:

I didn’t think you could go lower than when you tried to blame Sirius Black for Azkaban’s massive escape. Anyone with a brain could notice that he didn’t have a trial all those years ago. You should be happy that I’m not bringing this matter to the Winzegamot... after all by law an Heir or Lord of a Noble and Ancient house can’t be imprisoned for more than 48 hours without a trial with Veritaserum or the Minister would have to pay a fine for each day and... You left him to rot for 12 years IN Azkaban!

If I have calculated right before his death that you owed Sirius Black an approximated of 120,000 galleons in total and as his heiress it shall go with me in the case that it is brought at the light. Anyway, going back to the point I didn’t think you could go lower and SADLY I was proved wrong.

If you expect me to go and marry Ronald Weasley of all the people because of your stupid law then you are sorely mistaken. If you even try to pull that move, I’m going to expose every one of your little secrets, including Sirius’ lack of trial.

Also even if I gave a damn about your opinion, I would still not marry that gold digging Weasel because your law says, and I’m quoting this, “available and unmarried people”. And for your information I’m neither available nor unmarried.

I got married two years ago and I’m currently expecting a pair of twins. If I even get wind of an auror near my house I’m going to send them in 50 ways to hell, that’s if my husband doesn’t do it first.

Sincerely,
Violet Lillian Vongola nee Potter, Varia’s Cloud officer.
Wife of Xanxus di Vongola, Varia Boss.

P.S. If I receive another Gringott’s letter saying that you are trying to remove part of MY fortune from MY vaults you may find yourself in a deep problem. Mind your own business old man or you’re going to die.

P.P.S. Trash, if you fucking attempt to harass MY wife again I’m going to fucking murder you Trash. Any more fucking letters demanding for MY wife and I’ll fucking kill you. -Xanxus di Vongola


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by FunestiNoctu121. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bleach belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 436

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #37
Submitted By: Archangel N. Bloodraven
===============================

Ministry Weaklings,

Who’s the damn necrophiliac?

Seriously, my wife Zaraki Tsuta has cheerfully carved her way up my division to take the Third Seat, meaning she’s supposed to answer to me and my lieutenant, Yachiru. Supposed to. She has issues with authority, and she’s actually strong enough to give me a good fight without having to travel to the World of the Living to pick on the deathberry.

Note the term used above. THE WORLD OF THE LIVING. Meaning that that oh so sexily wrathful piece of ass is ineligible for your little marriage bullshit for two reasons. One, she’s already married to me. Two, she’s a soul reaper, a shinigami, a citizen of the sereitei, shrugged off the mortal coil, pushing up daisies, no longer with us, dearly departed, in a better place.

In a word even you can understand: DEAD.

So, if you persist in this nonsense, my squad will gladly come over there and make you regret it. She’s ours and we take care of our own.

Zaraki Kenpachi
Captain 11th Division of the Gotei 13


Hey meanieheads!

You leave Tsuta-Mama alone or you’ll be sorry! I mean it!

Kusajishi Yachiru
Lieutenant 11th Division of the Gotei 13


Ministry Fuckwits.

Wow. A marriage law. It must have failed pretty spectaularly if you’re reaching out to the other side. I can’t imagine why THAT would happen.

Long and short of it is I’m not getting involved in this unless you’ve got a necromancer on call. And if you do manage to kidnap me away from the Gotei 13... Well that translates as 13 court squads. Just so you know what’s coming down on your asses.

Zaraki Tsuta
Third Seat 11th Division of the Gotei 13
Formerly Magdalena Ivy Potter
She-who-hates-all-her-damn-hyphens


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Archangel N. Bloodraven. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sailor Moon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 755

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #38
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

I don’t believe this. You people have some colossal nerve contacting me of all people about this marriage law of yours. Just from my surnames alone, you DO realize exactly WHO my mom and dad are, don’t you? I skipped out of England first chance I got to escape from being associated with the two of them. I even got myself a brand new identity and life so I wouldn’t have anything to do with my former parents or the country of my birth, yet you people have the nerve to send me a letter ‘requesting’ my return so that I can take part in your newly created marriage law?! In your dreams!

I left mainly so I wouldn’t have to put up with the constant stares and looks of hatred that I just knew would be directed at me once people heard both of my last names. I left without even going to Hogwarts or registering myself in the British Ministry of magic, so you could be able to keep tabs on me once you knew I existed. I do not have to take part in a law in a country I do not consider my home if I chose not to do so, and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem not mine.

I have a new family and already have completed my magical education abroad here in Japan and I am seen as a legal citizen of both the muggle and magical governments of Japan, and I have more important responsibilities over here that take higher priority over your silly little law as far as I am concerned. I refuse to be married off to some wizard I don’t know who probably will only see me as either something to hate and revile simply because of my parents and what they did that I am completely innocent of doing, or be thought of something they can use if they think I’m just like my parents.

By the way, I heard that Harry Potter defeated my dad once and for all, and some lady named Weasley dealt with my mom. Please tell both of them that I said congratulations on a job well done and also thanks a lot from the deepest of my heart.

At least now I don’t have to worry about them coming after me to try and force me to come back to follow in their footsteps, because it would be a cold day in hell before that will ever happen. I don’t go for the whole mass genocide and torture and would have gladly put the two of them down myself like the impure rabid dogs they were if I had the chance. The world is a much safer and better place without the two of them in it to terrorize people.

Sincerely,

Rei Keiko Hino

formerly known as Delphini Pearl Lestrange-Riddle

P.S. Have you morons told your savior that I’m the one you picked out for his future bride yet? I bet that went over well. How much property damage did he cause?


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s another rejection letter, that’s also a crossover with Sailor Moon. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

I decided to do one from Rei Hino/Sailor Mars (or Delphini Lestrange-Riddle) this time. lol I might do another one later from another Sailor Moon character who’s a Harry Potter character. Any ideas or requests for who if I do?

Before anybody gets the wrong idea about what generation timeline this is in for the Harry Potter universe, its still in Harry’s time period instead of the next generations. The Delphini Lestrange-Riddle in this letter was born during Harry’s generation of witches and wizards instead of in Harry’s kids time, so she’s the same age as Harry and his friends. But she left the country without ever going to Hogwarts or going to school with Harry’s gang.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sailor Moon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 617

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #39
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: death goddess Lena
===============================

To Whom It May Concerned:

First of all, I don’t know who it is you think I am, but I am not this Neville Longbottom person you are looking for, and even if I were him I’m not available to take part in your marriage law, nor am I willing to comply with it even if I was living in England which I am not. I live nowhere near England and have no intention to be moving over there to be married off to some girl I don’t know or even want when I already have the perfect girl right here at my side, who also happens to be my soul mate!

Though I will admit that the name you called me in your letters does sound slightly familiar, but I wouldn’t really know. I lost all of my memories at a young age years ago of whoever I used to be and, they have never returned in all these years. As far as I am concerned, whoever I once was no longer matters, especially seeing the condition I was in when I was found by the people who helped me.

After all these years, I no longer have any wish to know who the people who left me in that condition are, but if I do find out who they are, I plan to sic the law on them for child abuse and child endangerment. Whoever had me before I lost my memories is probably also the cause of my memory loss, and the doctors told me I was lucky to survive whatever they were doing to me.

I have made a new name and identity for myself. Plus even if I am this Neville Longbottom person, then I don’t care. I’m happy with my life as it is now and that’s all that matters to me, and have no reason to drop what I have now to ‘return’ to a life I no longer even remember, in order to be married off to some strange woman I don’t even know or want.

Don’t contact me again.

Sincerely yours,

Darien Mamoru Chiba


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box as a request by death goddess Lena for another Sailor Moon type Rejection Letter. I almost made this letter from one of the Sailor Scouts, but then I decided to do one from Mamoru/Darien Chiba/Tuxedeo Mask instead with Neville Longbottom being him. lol

I figured why not? Seeing what his life before Hogwarts was like, I think maybe in this instance when his loving family was trying to ‘help’ him activate his magic, they went too far one day and his magic reacted badly and ‘saved him’ by sending him away all the way to Japan and cost him his memories, and he winds up growing up as Darien/Mamoru, and kept him shielded from being found by anyone back home until the marriage letters came out.

Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default/Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 249

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #40
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

To whom it may concern,

First of all: Your new marriage laws do not affect the people of Luxendarc.

Second: My name is Matsuo Arrior, and not ‘Harry Potter’.

Third: You have no idea what Asterisks* can do, and that is a whole lot more than what you’re threatening to do.

By the way.. How do you plan on ‘taking Harry back to marry some snobbet‘ when you don’t even know how to get here?

Not Harry Potter
Matsuo Arrior


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

I’ve decided to make a new rule, when submitting letters. If your letter is a crossover one, please add on the name of the other series at the bottom of the letter, so I can know. Using the the Title: Crossover With -.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 565

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #41
Submitted By: decoy73
Sequel to: Letter #21
===============================

Dear Minister,

How in the hell did you become Minister? I am serious, because it is clear you do not understand how unpopular you are right now? Do you remember that letter from Pansy, where she said that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement came to a unanimous decision against enforcing the marriage law?

That was NOT a joke.

At present, the only reason that you still have a Department of Magical Law Enforcement or an Auror Corps is because if everyone against this law resigned, there would be no DMLE or Auror Corps, and anyone that you hire in our place would likely not have the basic ability to tell right from wrong in either a moral or factual sense.

While we were going out to talk to the people who were supposed to be married, we did one thing that you clearly forgot to do: we ASKED for their opinions. Out of every person we asked, whether chosen to be married or not, only one person was willing to comply with the law and get married.

Cormac McLaggen was ready to marry, but only on the condition that the wife you picked out for him was willing. When he met her, he turned green and cursed me on the spot. I didn’t press any charges, as the wife in question was a nine year old muggleborn girl, and I had to calm her down and explain to her and her understandably enraged parents that there has been a mistake, which there has been.

Perhaps Director Parkinson didn’t make this clear enough, but the Ministry has been FLOODED with Howlers ever since you started enforcing this decision, and public faith in the Ministry is at an all-time low.

I’m not one for big words, so I’m going to say this in nice simple language. You are an idiot. You are an idiot for not making sure that a law like this would have public support. You are an idiot for pushing it through when it didn’t have any support, you are an idiot for blaming the public for being angry at your mistake, and you are DEFINITELY an idiot for threatening to arrest and ruin those that are angry with this law when they have every reason to be. This law is ruining lives, it is ruining families, and it is ruining the public faith that the Ministry has worked to regain. By the time the Wizengamot starts its next session, we had BETTER see this law repealed, or we will repeal it after we sack you.

Respectfully,
Gregory Joshua Goyle
Head of the Auror Office


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by decoy73. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and RWBY belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 348

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #42
Submitted By: Phoenix Paladin
===============================

To whom it may concern,

Firstly, allow me to congratulate you; after everything that you have done or attempted to do to either myself, or to the rest of my generation during my time in your temporally-displaced so-called World, I didn’t believe you were foolish enough to attempt such a ludicrous plan of action... especially after my rather, shall we say, ‘eventful‘ escape when I’d been pushed far beyond my limits.

And yet, you honestly believe that I will simply fall in line and accept whosoever you’ve suckered into becoming my ‘husband’?

I think not; after all, I’m quite happy with my life now, especially with the skills I’ve picked up during my time here.

So, before you decide to go on a warpath to bring me back to ‘fulfill my duty‘, consider this your only warning; I know how you wizards work. And, I know how to bring each and every one of you down before you even realize that your target was never in your sights.

Then again, I also know how arrogant many of you are. So, come see the price of hubris.

Sincerely,

Neapolitan

formerly Nicolea Potter

P.S. Hm, so this is the mysterious past of my adorable girlfriend... no matter. If you come to steal her...

You. Will. Burn.

Regards,

Cinder Fall.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Phoenix Paladin. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 584

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #43
Submitted By: Katzztar
===============================

Dear Minister

I do not know how you managed to get a letter to me but needless to say my current headmistress is investigating that. Your asinine marriage law does not affect me.

A: I will like to remind you that I am no longer a citizen of your backwards nation, but a citizen of Canada.

B: I am a student at Arken, Mountain School of Magic.

I am sure you remember Arken. The school whose treaty you have broken and declared the entire school “evil“ and any member of the school as “supporters and sympathizers of dark creatures” are criminals and are to be arrested and executed if they step onto British soil?

The school who tried to warn your former minister of the threat of demons. That minister ignored us and caused us to infiltrate your ministry to try to stop the demons. Sadly, while we killed the demons, they were able to start the plague that has decimated most of Europe. You should have listened to us then and prevented the activation of that portal.

You better listen to us now and stay away. I already killed Violdemort with assistance of the other Basilisk, Rakesh Asmodeus, and now I am mostly reclusive save for attending Arken. I don’t want to return to Britain. The henchmen you sent don’t even deserve to be called Aurors. They were so badly trained that a group of second years was able to capture them. They are now residents in Arken’s own prison, keeping your predecessor, the previously mentioned former Minister Baines, company.

The former Harry Potter (and no I will not tell you my current name)
Student of Arken and NOT your toy.


To the current Minister of Magic of Britain

As Headmistress of Arken, it is my formal duty to inform you that the Aurors you sent to infiltrate my school and kidnap a student of mine, are now in Arken’s prision and will stand trial for said trespass and kidnapping. Depending on the level of their compliance and agreement of these actions will depend on if they will be returned to you or if they will stay in our prison. Though I fear I have to tell you that the behaviors of 3 of the 4 prisoners show that they think they have the right to kidnap my student. As such, if the trial doesn’t show they were somehow compelled (yes we did hear that rumor of current ministry enforcing people to comply), then they will be staying in prison and will be subjected to the ...tender mercies... of Professor Strawlime.

Sincerely,
Nvara Aelfly, Headmistress of Arken


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Katzztar. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Katzztar created this letter based off of a fanfic called A Second Chance at Life by Miranda Flairgold. You should all go check it out of you haven’t already read it.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Batman the Animated series, etc, etc. belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 370

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #44
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

During a full meeting of the Wizengamot, a device appears and reveals a holographic/Pensive projected image of the ‘Clown Prince of Crime’, who asks: “Is this thing on? Heh! Who cares?”

Before anybody could respond, The Clown continues with a frown: “Your demands for young Harrison to return to.. now what did that missive say again?”

“To marry a pure blood bimbo of their ministries choice, Puddin’.” a cheerful voice replies ‘off screen.

“Thank you, Harl.”

“Puddin’”

Joker smiles at he person off screen; then frowns at the assembled Morons.. “You see.. there are those of us in the ‘mundane world’ that knows _all_ about your.. heh.. so-called ‘secret society’, so much so that, with the exception of your government, has _REVOKED_ the Statute of Secrecy since before World War Two!”

After drinking a glass of water, the clown takes deep breath, and “YOU’RE NEVER GETTING HARRISON BACK! *ahem* Besides... you’re all doomed any way, and...” The Joker turns the ‘camera’ towards a semi-familiar person, who says..

“I’ve never been to the U.K. after the Zoo, that DUMB White bee left me in Gotham shorty after he placed me on their doorstep.”

The Camera pulls back to reveal not only Harrison, but also the Bat family,and their Rogue’s Gallery: “We don’t appreciate anachronistic morons... Toodles!”

The image disappears, and the device explodes into shrapnel, confetti, and toxic gasses that floods he entire unventlated room...


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 304

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #45
Submitted By: ChaosDancer12
Sequel to: Letter #5
===============================

This note was found on a Ministry of Magic offical wearing a pink cardigan.

Dear Ministry of Magic,

We warned you, we told you to leave us alone and out of this Marriage Law nonsense and you ignored us!

You had to be idiots and try to kidnap me in front of my big sis!

And then you start saying rude things about our parentage!

My big sis does not like that and that Umbitch (I think that’s her name right?) starts saying that my big sis is a werewolf and that she had to be put down since she’s a dark creature!

My big sis is not a werewolf! She’s half wolf! She was born a half wolf and she’ll always be a half wolf! She did not get bitten!

Now, if you excuse me, I’m gonna do a chocolate run and find my big sis’s boyfriend.

Bethany.

This is your last warning, if we have to deal with this shit one more time, I’ll start using some of my more lethal moves.

Kai.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by ChaosDancer12. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 238

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #46
Submitted By: Ender The Multiverse Detective
===============================

Dear Minister

You know it’s kind of hilarious that you think you can force me of all people to marry someone, at this point I don’t think I am still found as a human, much less a male wizard.

But I suppose I should give credit where’s credits due, you have an owl that not only managed to find me but also chase me across the multiverse until I opened its letter.

It finally dropped dead from exhaustion after it delivered the letter so I had to improvise the response delivery, hope you don’t mind, his name is Godzilla.

Sincerely R.O.B.
AKA Random Ominipotent Being
Formerly Harry Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Ender The Multiverse Detective. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bungou Stray Dogs belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 648

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #47
By: Kuroyuki-Kokuyoku
===============================

To the British Ministry of Magic,

Normally, I do not send such crass replies to formal letters… but there are occasions where formalities are thrown out of the window…

This is one of them…

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY ADOPTED SON TO FINALLY FIND A NICE, SUITABLE PARTNER TO SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE CHILDREN WITH?! I HAVE KNOWN RANPO FOR WELL OVER TEN YEARS, AND IT TOOK HIM EVEN LONGER TO FINALLY REALIZE HIS FEELINGS FOR THE ONLY WOMAN HE GETS ALONG WITH!!! AND NOW YOU HAVE THE ARROGANCE TO DEMAND MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW TO ABANDON MY SON AND UNBORN GRANDCHILD TO GO BACK TO YOUR BACKWATER, BRAIN-DEAD COMMUNITY JUST TO MARRY AN INBREED, WEB-TOED WASTE OF SPACE AND POP OUT A FEW MORE OF THEM!! AND WORST OF ALL, YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO EXPECT MY ADOPTED GRANDSON TO WILLINGLY GO BACK TO THE SAME COMMUNITY THAT HAD ABUSED AND SHUNNED THE CHILDREN OF WEREWOLVES AND THINK THAT HE WOULD BE HAPPY TO BE REVILED!!!

LET ME TELL YOU THIS!! THE WOMAN YOU KNEW AS JASMINE POTTER HAS BEEN LONG GONE FOR THE LAST HALF A DECADE!! JASMINE KATHERINE ROWLING HAS BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED TO EDOGAWA RANPO AND THE TWO ARE CURRENTLY EXPECTING A DAUGHTER IN A FEW MONTHS TIME! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN FOR SO LONG, AND I WON’T STAND ANY ONE OF YOU WORTHLESS, EMPTY-HEADED LAYABOUTS TO RUIN EVERYTHING THEY’VE FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL FOR!!!

Now that that is over with, let me respectfully remind all of you that the two people you are referring to in your missive are no longer apart of the British Wizarding World as they are legally registered as “Ability-Users,” not wizards, and have officially dropped their British citizenship the moment you’ve sent out your little notice. This means I am in the right to complain to your Queen about pressing charges against you for sending in your Aurors to kidnap and smuggle illegal immigrants into the United Kingdom.

I have taken the liberty to thoroughly research your laws, and I have found that you have absolutely no jurisdiction over “Squibs” and “Muggles.” Therefore, you have no right to dictate any part of their lifestyles. Especially considering they have the backing of Dazai Osamu (太宰治), a descendent of the Japanese Magical Royal Family.

Failure to take this letter seriously will result in an international war with not only the Japanese Wizarding Community, but also with the Ability-User Organizations, the Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia, along with the Special Ability Department of the Japanese Government.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Fukuzawa Yukichi (福沢 諭吉)
Director and Founder of the Armed Detective Agency
Adopted father of Edogawa Ranpo (江戸川 乱歩)
Father-in-law of Jasmine Katherine Rowling (formerly Jasmine Potter, the Woman-Who-Conquered, Current Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and the Ancient House of Potter)
Adopted grandfather of Edward “Teddy” Lupin (Heir Apparent to the House of Black)

And soon-to-be overdue grandfather


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Kuroyuki-Kokuyoku. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and RWBY belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 721

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #48
Submitted By: Phoenix Paladin
Sequel to: Letter #42
Response to: Letter #20
===============================

Emerald Sustrai had to use every mental trick she knew to keep the small smile on her face from breaking into a full-blown grin of a lovestruck schoolgirl. Here she was, accompanying her boss, her Mistress, Cinder Fall on a simple shopping trip through one of Vale’s more premier shopping districts and inspecting all the quality clothing they took interest in, each woman carrying a bag with purchases.

(It had almost been a disaster (for her) when the first stop had been a lingerie store. The sleek, slink and utterly sheer sample of sensational silk her Mistress (and how she wanted to use that another way!) had bought...)

Of course,‘ Emerald thought to herself, ‘It’d be better without those idiots stalking us.‘ Indeed, for the past half hour there had been an increase of... oddly dressed men and women who were failing at stealth following them. Glancing at her companion tapping on a Scroll, Emerald asked, “We aren’t seriously ignoring them the entire time, right?”

Cinder, who’d been oddly quiet the whole trip, merely smirked with mischief, collapsed the Scroll and stowed the device into the pouch around her waist before grabbing Emerald’s hand and tugging her with gentle insistence towards a nearby alley. Flushed from the thoughts that raced through her mind at what Cinder was implying, Emerald allowed herself to be pulled along.


After a few turns within the alley, Cinder stopped and turned towards Emerald. Before the green-haired girl could question her boss, her lips were covered by the other girls. And just as things started to heat up, they were interrupted. Twice.

“Nicolea Potter! By order of the Ministry... of... Mag-”

“Ahem.”

Breaking contact, a slightly dazed, more than slightly blushing and most definitely infuriated Emerald Sustrai and a grinning Cinder Fall turned to view their fourteen pursuers, and behind them was an exasperated yet amused Cind-

Wait, what?

Turning back to her companion, Emerald was speechless as ‘Cinder‘ blinked, her gold-amber eyes disappearing under thick lashes and reappearing as heterochromatic rich brown and strawberry pink while her ‘body‘ shattered like sand raining down, revealing the short-statutes Neopolitan. Whom was still grinning at Emerald.

In her shocked state, Emerald barely noticed the sudden surge of heat and light, nor the screams turned pained moans of their pursuers. Not even Neo walking with a skip in her step to her prowling Mistress and leaning up to whisper in her ear, whilst showing her the purchases of the day fazed her.

The sudden domination of her mouth certainly drew her attention to reality though. Dimly, Emerald was aware of Neo drawing the blade of her ever-present umbrella (though where she hid it all day was a question that wouldn’t get any true answer) and, after dropping a paper note on the charred bodies, caused the stalkers to disappear with a complicated wave of the steel.

After all, her Mistress pulling away only to whisper, “We’ll talk more later tonight,” in her ear was far more attention grabbing.


Britain’s Minister of Magic stared blankly between the note in his hand and the pile of cooked bodies that were the Hit Wizards, hired to bring in the Potter girl, that were being attended by Healers.

‘To whom it may concern,

Next time, they’ll be well done and in servable portions.

Regards,

Neopolitan and Cinder.’


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Phoenix Paladin who says the idea for this letter came from something Reishin Amara said and wants to do a shout out to them.

Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Disney’s Gargoyles belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 873

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #49
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear British Ministry of Magic,

I really have to say this, that you people have some absolute nerve contacting me of all people about this marriage law! Get it through your pathetic, thick, inbred, obviously brain damaged heads that I am NOT a citizen of your pathetic magical country anymore.

First you morons nearly get my twin brother killed in the fight with Voldemort last year. Thankfully Dylan took our advice after your war and moved here to America to recuperate properly along with his long time girlfriend, Hermione Granger, and to get away from James Potter and all of you morons back in England who were harassing him. Now you have the nerve to pull this on us?

Dylan wants me to tell you that that unless his ‘Ministry chosen’ bride is Hermione Granger, then don’t expect him to be returning to England ever again even to visit, because he’ll stay in America with us rather than go back to a country that thinks it can tell him who he can love or marry, and Hermione agrees with him and won’t be going back even either if Dylan was her ‘Ministry chosen’ husband.

I do not consider myself a citizen of your country and have no need to have to obey whatever laws that are made over in a country I haven’t stepped foot in since I was a baby. You people have no jurisdiction of over me and who I chose to marry, and you people never will as far as I am concerned, and you can take your pathetic marriage law and shove it up your inbred asses.

I haven’t been a citizen since the day my mom divorced my dad when I was a baby and she took me with her to America where we both became legalized citizens in both the muggle and magical worlds over here. I don’t even go over there to attend Hogwarts when I have perfectly good schools here in America that I could go to instead, instead of an outdated school like Hogwarts.

Plus your letter claims that you have my ‘father’s’ permission to put me through this marriage law? As if! That jackass James Potter is NOT my dad. He stopped being my dad the day he legally signed away all of his rights to me to my mom during the divorce. He has no say to anything that has to do with me, and I swear I’ll hex the blowhard to kingdom come for even thinking he can still do so after all these years. He signed a unbreakable magically binding contract that says so, that also says he can’t make decisions for me without my moms consent or my personal agreement. Mom signed the same thing for my twin brother Dylan who dad kept.

My mom and stepdad are especially pissed off when your lame ass marriage letters came in, especially since they came in for my younger siblings as well, who will NOT be taking part in this absured law either. Unlike me, they were all born here in America and are legally citizens of America by birth, and you people have no jurisdiction to even think of dragging non-British citizens into your little marriage law or think they and their families will sit by and let you do so.

I doubledare you morons to just try and come here and force us to ‘return‘ to England to be married off to some inbred moron of your chosing. I dare you. And you’ll see just where it’ll get you, when you face off with my extended family over here in America, who can and will wipe the floor with the lot of you.

Sincerely yours,

Harry Owen Burnett

Formerly known as Harry James Potter

P.S. A bit of a warning. My great-grandma on my moms side of the family, Queen Titania of the Sidhé court, and her husband King Oberon, would like some words with you people and your attempt to force her kin into a loveless marriage to unworthy people, and they are planning to pay you people a visit very soon. Just so you will know, she’s already peeved about what nearly happened to Dylan.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s a rejection letter, that’s a crossover with Disney’s Gargoyles. This letter is based off of one of my own fanfics Wings of the Night if anyone hasn’t read it yet. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 772

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #50
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

(Letter found tied to seven ministry officials displaying various degrees of injuries all over their bodies, who are all hogtied and gagged by what appeared to be vines and other plants.)

Dearly Esteemed Ministry of Magic:

Are you people nuts? You have to be if you seriously thought THIS would bring me back to your society. I would think that my lack of NOT coming into your world when I was eleven up until now should tell you that I want absolutely nothing to do with you people. Or don’t you remember what I did to all of the ministry officials who tried to force me to come against my will over the years before this stupid law even existed?

As far as I am concerned, I am under no obligation to ‘come back’to a magical society I was never a part of to begin with, and help you repopulate the magical world. I don’t see what possible reason why you would assume that I would, when I have had absolutely nothing to do with you people to begin with in all these years. I have more important things to do with my time and life than to play broodmare to some hillbilly wizard I don’t want to be with and I refuse to be conscripted into it by a ministry I do not acknowledge as having any control over me to begin with.

You can’t do anything to me anyway concerning this law, because I am protected by a unbreakable magically binding contract I signed years ago known as the Laws of Arcadia, which automatically blocks any attempts of trying to force me into marriage contracts, or any other form of contract, without my consent, and anyone who tries to force the issue will be punished by the magic behind the contract I signed.

Just ask Albus Dumbledore and the Weasley family just how well their attempts at trying to make me marry their youngest son, Ronald Weasley went. I hear the boy and some of his family members are still in St. Mungo’s long term care in the psychiatric wing of the hospital after our last encounter and attempt at of trying to force a marriage contract on me thanks to my Laws of Arcadia contract.

I dare you people to just try and come after me. You won’t just be dealing with me, but also my long time boyfriend, Kurama, and all of our friends, who can and will wipe the floor with you morons for just thinking that any part of me would go along with this stupid marriage law.

Sincerely yours,

Kurenai Koumori

Formerly known as Melody Rose Potter

Dear Ministry of Magic,

I would take what Kurenai says to heart, because if she doesn’t end you herself if you people chose to ignore her warnings and continue on this endeavor, then I definitely will finish you myself. You’ve seen how I gift wrapped the ministry officials who came looking for Kurenai who we sent back. I just got her back, and there is no way in hell I’m letting you people take her from me without a fight and without some major casualties on your side.

Good look getting them untied. They should be released within the next couple of days or so. Don’t worry, the plants will keep them alive and healthy until then, though I believe they will need some serious psychiatric help afterwards thanks to my plants. They were extremely rude while they were here, and making demands they had no right to make, and rightfully deserve the punishment my plants are giving them.

Sincerely yours,

Yoko Kurama


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s a rejection letter, that’s a crossover with Yu Yu Hakusho. This letter is based off of one of my own fanfics Night Guardian if anyone hasn’t read it yet. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and DC Comic’s Sandman belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 563

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #51
Submitted By: Nobody’s Ghost
Response to: Letter #20
===============================

The Dreaming
Sphere of the Gods

23rd of August 1998

To the Director of the Department for Regulation of Magical Marriages of the British Ministry of Magic.
Whitehall, London, England, Great Britain

Dear Ms. Crawford,

Would you kindly cease and desist with this bombardment of letters to my brother-in-law Devotion, the mortal once known as Harold “Harry” James Potter.

My sister, Death, has spent eons trying to find a consort worthy of her and when she finally found him, she was quite literally floating on air. Yes, we made sure that Sister Delirium wasn’t playing a trick on us.

Alas, Death’s mood has turned quite sour after you started your rain of scribbletory terror. And quite frankly, the last time she was seen in such a mood was at the end of the Cretaceous Era, when brother Destruction accidentally destroyed her favourite plushy.

Unfortunately for three quarters of the life forms on your planet, having Death in a bad mood tends to have nasty consequences. And brother Destiny has requested that I pass on, that while his Book is filled with future exploits of humanity, said exploits can quite easily be rendered null and void through Free Will. It is not our responsibility if you wish to act like drunken and concussed lemmings and rush over a cliff and drown yourselves in the Seas of Eternity.

I do hope you reconsider your rather foolhardy course of action. Lest you raise even more of the ire of one of the oldest beings in existence. The one price ALL must pay in the end. The one who shall put the chairs on the tables, turn off the lights and lock up, as this universe comes to an end, when she and her beloved will go on their own Great Next Adventure.

As signed,
Carter Hall aka The Sandman aka Dream of the Endless
The King of Dreams, the Prince of Stories and the Lord Shaper

PS: Brother Destruction has requested I pass on the notification that he’ll come to inspect your Ministry building, within a fortnight, to see if it passes the standard and required building regulations, if this madness (his words, not mine) does not cease.

PPS: A small image of a sun with eyes, mouth and hands pops off the parchment. Glares, then somehow creates a text balloon in mid air, filled with strange symbols as it waves its closed fists around aggressively as if ranting.

Before finally stopping, making a rather rude dual two fingered salute and blowing a raspberry before popping out of existence.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Nobody’s Ghost. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sekirei belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 321

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #52
Submitted By: iliveonbooks
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I don’t think that I have laughed that hard since FOREVER. I mean, really, you have outdone yourselves in how stupid you can be. I can only shake my head at your ignorance.

First, I have been gone for over ten years with citizenship in Japan for the last seven. I have NO idea what makes you think you have any control over me, but then again, you are considered some of the laziest and uneducated magicals in the world so...

Second, I am married. I got my citizenship with my marriage. I am actually due for my second kid in a couple months. So technically, I’m helping you out with the population problem, only not with your “recommendation“, or in England... and I will never return to England, but technicalities.

Third, my wife has this thing where she likes sharp things, stabbing, maiming and killing. So, basically, don’t test me or my wife. You will not have agents if you do. We promise to ship them back in priority mail.

Anyways, long story short, fuck off.

See you never!

Sincerely,
Harry Potter
Boy-Who-Lived
Man-Who-Conquered
Husband-Of-Kurasuba


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by iliveonbooks. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and X-Men Evolution belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 495

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #53
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To The Morons of the British Magical World:

Get lost you jerks. I haven’t stepped foot inside of England since I was a baby, after I was adopted and brought to America by my birth moms own mother. I am now considered a legalized citizen of America in both the magical and muggle worlds, and I have absolutely no reason to obey an outdated backwater law that comes from a country I don’t live in.

Have some class people. I don’t know what possible ‘bright’ idea entered your thick heads, that made all of you truly thought that this law would make me go back to a country I do not acknowledge as my home, to be married off to some bimbo I don’t know or even want. I’ve successfully rejected all previous attempts to drag me back over the years with the help of my friends and family who are all powerful in their own rights.

Word to the wise, if you value your continued existence in the world of the living, you had better leave me alone, or else I will send my girlfriend, who just happens to also be my current fiancé, who also is the ruler of a hell dimension with a massive army of demons at her disposal, has pledged to lead said army all the way to England to wipe you off the face of the map before she will allow you to take me away from her.

Plus I don’t need magic to deal with you people. Besides being a wizard, I am also known as a mutant and a very powerful one just like the rest of my family, and I will wipe the floor with all of you myself with both my magic and my mutant powers, and send whatever is leftover back to England in bodybags if anyone dares show up here looking for me to try and force me back against my will.

Sincerely yours,

Damien Harry Darkolme

Formerly known as Harry James Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s a rejection letter, that’s a crossover with X-Men Evolution. This letter is based off of one of my own fanfics Tempest Mage if anyone hasn’t read it yet. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Restaurant To Another World belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 806

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #54
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Foolish Magical Humans of the Realm Known as Earth:

No you may not have the wizards known as Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter for your foolish little marriage law. They no longer reside in your realm except on a certain day of the week, and are no longer any of your concern or under your mediocre jurisdiction to dictate their lives to any longer, and both of them are under the protection of the six dragon gods. That also includes their friends who have also sought sanctuary in our realm.

Your delivery owl just happened to arrive on one of the days we just happened to be here visiting, and Harry and Draco decided to allow me to send the letter for them, because they were busy helping out at the restaurant they are apprenticing at right now to be bothered with your nonsense themselves.

Not only that, but both of them are already taken by my sister and myself, and thus are officially unavailable to take part in your little marriage law. We refuse to give up our mates for anyone, and will absolutely destroy anyone who tries to force the issue.

My sister and I both agree that they are both our most prescious treasures and I will not stand for you trying to take them away from me to be bred off to weak, pathetic and unworthy human women, when they can have us instead.

The boys tell me that you wizards have a saying. It’s ‘Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus‘, or ‘Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon‘. Well, as a immortal one hundred thousand year old dragon goddess, I’ll give you this warning only once here is a warning, if you value the lives of every man, woman and child in your society, you will leave our mates alone, or else you won’t survive if my sister and I have to come over there and unleash our fury upon all of you, dragon style for trying to steal what we consider to be ours.

Sincerely yours,

Safira Malfoy, the Red Dragon Queen


Ministry of Magic,

You had better heed my sisters warning to heart if you know what’s truly good for your society. Normally I would stay out of of this, because of the circumstances I shall quite happily join her in her quest of reeking revenge on any attempts to take my mate away from me.

I do not care why you humans think you ‘need’ him. He’s mine and I do not share. I’ve waited over a hundred thousand years for someone like Harry Potter to come into my life, and I am not about to give him up now to a bunch of foolish humans who think they can tell him who he can be with.

I am known as the Black Dragon Goddess of Death and sadly, with the exemption of my darling Harry and his status as Master of Death that makes him impossible to kill, everything else dies in my wake, and any lucky survivors of our combined wrath, shall not like what will happen if I have to get involved in this matter.

Sincerely yours,

Demetria Potter, the Black Dragon Queen


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s another rejection letter, that’s also a crossover with the anime known as Restaurant To Another World. If you haven’t heard of it before, you should go watch it. It can be found on the Crunchyroll network.

Long story short, it’s about a mystical restaurant from Earth and its amazing chef who can travel ANYWHERE in the universe. Or at least its front entracnce door does every Saturday to pick up hungry customers from other universes while the restaurant stays in place, while the rest of the week the door opens up to Earth only. While also telling the story of each Saturday customer that comes through the restuarants door.

I rewatched the episodes with the Red and Black Dragon Queens, but I didn’t see any sign of them having actual names besids their colors, so I gave them names for the letter

If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Z and Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 450

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #55: Android Wife
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

First, I would like to say that you people have a lot of nerve, contacting my husband about this absurd ‘marriage law’ of yours. Then you have the unmitigated gall to try and order him to dissolve his marriage to me so that he can marry your choice in wife for him. I also do not approve of your attempts to force him back against our combined wills as if you people have any form of say in his life after his repeated refusals to obey your law and orders.

I am writing to inform you that what you want to happen will never happen, not now, not ever in a billion years. Harry Potter is mine, and I will quite happily end anybody who tries to take him away from me and the family we have started together.

If you know whats truly best for you, do not contact us again, or else I’ll make what I did to the last group of aurors you sent after Harry to force him back to your society look like childs play. If it wasn’t for Harry very relunctantly stopping me, they are lucky I didn’t outright kill them for the stunts they tried to pull on us.

Sincerely yours,

Lazuli Juhachi-Go Potter nee Jinzoningen


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s another rejection letter, that’s also a crossover with Dragon Ball Z and Super. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

I gave Android 18 the name Lazuli for her first name, and made her Android name her last name. For those of you who don’t know it yet, Akira Toriyama himself that Lazuli is Android 18’s real name, while Lapis is Android 17’s name.

I love Krillen, but this idea where Android #18 married somebody other than him wouldn’t leave me alone, especially after I wrote the rejection letter that had a female Harry Potter married to Android #17 way back in Letter #18.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 349

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #56
Submitted By: jgkitarel
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic,

This will be my final request to you to cease and desist your attempts to make me comply with this farce of a law. I am fully aware that you have been told, repeatedly, by authorities who can force you to repeal this law, to do so.

You are testing my patience here, and your last attempt to force my compliance was not received well by the local authorities due to their assault on my pregnant wife. Do not request those you sent to be returned, the survivors have already been interrogated, so we know that the assault on my wife was sanctioned by you, along with the orders to kill her and my unborn child if I was uncooperative.

To understate the matter, I took that rather poorly, which is why there are survivors. The local authorities managed to intervene in time to keep me from killing every single one of them.

Anyway, they have now been prosecuted and are now in a maximum security prison. Those who have regretfully passed have had their bodies cremated without burial rites and their ashes purged of any lingering remnants of their souls. The incident has also been reported to the ICW to seek mediation in this matter. The other option, a declaration of war, will be enacted if such mediation is not possible.

Regards,

Harry James Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by jgkitarel. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Marvel’s Inhumans belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 607

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #57
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

I do not know why you humans are contacting me, but I wish that you will stop because your onslaught of Owls delivering letters here to my home in Attilan are becoming tedious. My name is not Eliza Rose Potter or whatever this name you humans are mistaking me for. Your law has absolutely no meaning with me, and I have no reason to obey it as far as I am concerned since I am not a part of your society and never have been a part of it.

My name is Princess Discord, adopted daughter of King Black Bolt and Queen Medusa of the Inhuman Royal Family of Attilan, and as far as I am concerned, I am not under any obligation to take part in this Marriage Law of yours, that was made back in a country I haven’t stepped foot in in years since my adopted family took me in.

Even if I was who you are looking, I’m not her any longer. Thanks to an accident that led me to being found by my new family, that girl is long dead and buried and has been since I was five years old, and I was given my new name as Princess Discord by my new family since I didn’t even know what my old name was back then thanks to the people who used to be raising me.

Here’s a warning. If any more of your law enforcers try and show up in Attilan trying to kidnap me, they will be arrested and executed for trespassing in our kingdom, and executed for attempted kidnapping of a member of the royal family, and we will see it as a declaration of war.

Cordially yours,

First Princess Discord of Attilan

P.s. Don’t mind Lockjaw. He might look big and mean but he’s a nice when you get to know him, except when he’s defending himself or protecting me or someone else in the family. He’s bringing back the owl you sent to me, since it was too tired to make the trip home on its own two wings. I gave him orders to stay there until you people give in and drop this matter, and has orders to bring anybody who disagrees to Attilan to stand trial.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s another rejection letter, that’s also a crossover with Marvel’s Inhumans. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

In the universe this letter took place in, Discord was taken in by Black Bolt and Medusa shortly after the Tetrigen gas was released into the world, and every human who had a Inhuman ancestor in their bloodline found themselves awakening to dormant Inhuman powers. And Attilan is currently on Earth as the reason why the owls were able to find it.

I almost made her Medusa, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it in the letter...

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sekirei belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 550

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #58
Submitted By: Go0gleplex
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Or should I address this to ‘The Ministry of Walking Dead Men’? You see, I am already soul bonded to three beautiful, if not somewhat combative, women and the concept of divorce doesn’t exist for them. Or rather, the only way out of a marriage in their culture is death, which means they have taken your demands to dissolve our bonded marriage rather personally.

My second wife, Karasuba by name, was particularly not amused by your attempts to force me back to Magical Britain, the country that you yourselves forced me out of in the first place, and has spent the past week sharpening her nodachi with a rather pleased grin on her face. Normally I would try to discourage her from engaging in her favorite sport of the wholesale slaughter of entire populations but in your case I think it is high time all you pureblood arses finally reap what you’ve sown. You thought Voldemort was someone to fear? Even he would be soiling himself facing Karasuba. Don’t bother running. You can’t escape and you’d just be encouraging her to kill even more people.

My other two wives, Haihane and Benitsubasa, are a bit more reasonable and only wish to severely maim and dismember you all, emphasis on the word dismember. They do not feel that people so monumentally stupid should be allowed to breed further much less run a government, magical or otherwise. Not that throwing yourselves on their mercy would do you any good at all since Karasuba scares even them silly and they would not dare cross her. They will at least try to limit the collateral casualties to just the brain dead idiots behind this farce of a law. Even our idiot boss is irked with you.

My advice at this point would be for you to make whatever funeral arrangements necessary, update your wills with the goblins, and apologize to the portraits of your ancestors for causing the complete extinction of your bloodline. Karasuba tends to be very thorough when killing someone that has pissed her off as completely as you wankers have. Since I have no intention of ever returning to the cesspool you call Magical Britain, my wife Haihane has promised to record Karasuba’s playtime with you for my enjoyment later when they return home to Japan.

I hope your soon-to-be passing is not too painful and please, give Voldemort my regards when you meet him in hell.

With joyful anticipation,
Harry James Potter-Black
MBI Disciplinary Squad Coordinator


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Go0gleplex. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Fate/Grand Order belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 287

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #59
Submitted By: Phoenix Paladin
===============================

To the utterly imbecilic mongrels of Magical Britain,

Enough.

You have pushed my patience to its limits with your scheming.

Your persistence has pushed the boundaries of my mercy.

And now, after I offered provisional access to the joint Potter-Black accounts, you dared seek my death by sending your pitiful assassins after me?

No more.

I, Harry James Potter, Head of the Ancient and Noble House of Potter and Acting Head of the Ancient and Noble House of Black hereby give the entirety of Magical Britain this notice;

Surrender.

You have until the dusk of tomorrow to comply. Otherwise, my army shall crush all opposition, all resistance.

Harry James Potter

Master of the Grand Order


Harry gazed upon his former homeland stoically, his arm wrapped around the waist of his Rider, from the prow of his beloved Servant’s Noble Phantasm. Behind him, and fairly crowding the decks of the fleet behind him, his army stood ready to defend their Master.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Phoenix Paladin. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 306

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #60
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: Dzerx
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

Thank you so much for pairing me up with Harry Potter!! At first I was against this stupid marriage law from the beginning, because I was afraid to see exactly who it was you jerks would pair me up with, but now be rest assured that I’m more than glad with the end results and will gratefully take my place in the marriage law if it means that I finally get my darling Harry as my groom.

Harry left over four years ago after breaking up with me for unreasonable reasons, but I hope that you can find him and bring him home for me so that we may finaly marry. Once he comes home and marries me, I truly hope this marriage law will give me the chance to finally prove to Harry that I am the number one perfect woman for him and not whatever floozy he thinks he should be with instead.

Sincerely Yours,

Ginerva Molly Weasley


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently requested to my review box by Dzerx who wanted a letter written by Ginny Weasley in thanking the ministry for pairing her up with her dream husband, Harry Potter. I decided to write Harry’s own response to that particular pairing as well in the next letter.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 611

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #61
By: Sakura Lisel
Sequel To: Letter #60
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

Forget about it. There is no way in bloody hell I’m coming back to obey a marriage law that makes you inbred imbecillic morons think that you can decide who I will marry like you have some form of say in the matter, or that you are truly stupid enough to even think that I will allow you to do so without a fight.

I left jolly old Magical England four years ago, and moved abroad and I am quite happily settled right where I am, already with a loving wife of the last two years, and we are expecting our second child. I have no intention divorcing my wife any time soon, or leaving my family to marry somebody I don’t want because the government of a country I no longer call home and haven’t lived in for years says so.

Plus even if I were willing to return and obey your stupid law, there is no way in bloody hell am I marrying Ginny Weasley of all people! She is not my type, will never be my type, and just THINKING of marrying HER of all people makes my skin crawl, and break out into hives.

I dated her a grand total of FIVE times before I broke things off with her, and it only lasted THAT long because I thought I’d give it a go simply because everyone else was saying that we seemed so perfect together. Believe me when I say that was the worst five dates of my life, and I couldn’t dump her fast enough in my opinion. She was an obsessive fangirl who already was plotting our married life together long before we were even dating and discovered that she and her mom were planning to dose me with potions to ‘keep me interested’ just in case I changed my mind, and I’ve discovered that I seriously can’t stand girls who are like that.

Plus another reason why I refuse to date or marry her, is because all of the comments people made about us completely turned me off on the mere idea of being with her of all people. Hearing people who knew my parents CONSTANTLY saying how Ginny and I looked perfect together because of our resemblance to MY parents, is what truly started the skin crawling in me.

If my mom was still alive and had the chance to raise me all these years, I can’t picture myself being with somebody who everybody else constantly says looks like my mom, that’s just plain gross and wrong on so many levels once I took the time to really start thinking about it. Who’s psycho enough to want to date a girl who reminds you of your mom? It sure isn’t me. I bet if our roles had been reverse, Ginny would feel the same way if she wasn’t being such a fan girl when it came to me.

Sincerely Yours,

Harry James Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was is meant to be a sequel to Letter #60.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Garden of Avalon and Fate/Grand Order belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 585

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #62
Submitted By: StormOfDiamonds
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic and all citizens of Britain,

I would like to sincerely apologize for the behavior of my other half. Even though it is kind of the minister’s fault. And that law’s too. Well, mostly the minister’s because he agreed with the law.

When I first read the letter the ministry kindly sent me, I was quite angry. However, due to my husband’s ‘charms’ it was not possible to remain angry for long. However, it turned out that he already planned out his own way to make your citizens know exactly what he feels about that letter.

I really, really do apologize.

So far, he is responsible for following: Strange behavior of certain individuals, unpleasant/disturbing dreams, odd behavior of plants, spell failure, wand incidents, odd behavior of certain spells, misplacement of certain individuals, (this is actually really embarrassing to write) rampaging monsters/plants in some residences, including the Malfoy estate and Weasley house, failure of odd magics, failure of ancient spells such as the magics that guard seats, several incidents in the department of mysteries, and finally the Magi Mari incident.

I sadly lack the capability to stop my husband’s antics.

Signed:

Rose Lily Myrddin nee Potter

P.S: I am writing this just as I was about to send it. I had forgotten to say that my husband and I are bound for life. Since I am fairly certain that you do not have the capability to remove the bond without killing me, I am remaining where I am. And I do not agree with marrying the youngest Weasley boy.

I wish you all a pleasant day.


Elsewhere…..

Rose watched as the British citizens cried tears of despair. She really did feel sorry for them, she really did. After Merlin stopped screwing with their dreams, he made the plants to screw with them while they were awake as well. Nothing lethal, but the victims will need a good dose of brain bleach. After skillfully, quickly and happily taking apart the magics that held the community together and making all purebloods tear their hair out out of frustration… there was THE Magi Mari incident.

The poor Minister is now a permanent resident of the St. Mungo’s hospital. He and Lockhart are apparently good pals now.

Rose mused about her life.

But most importantly…. She stopped as a certain individual leaned over her shoulder and began whispering into her ear.

Damn half incubus.

Due to her lack of reaction, Merlin made a face. Then the fake tears came. “Do you not love me anymore?”

How in heavens and earth did she fall in love with this guy?

Rose patted his white fluffy head and Merlin purred.

Like a cat.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by StormOfDiamonds. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 509

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #63
Submitted By: Go0gleplex
===============================

From the Office of The Prime Minister
10 Downing Street
London, England

To the Ministry of Magic
Diagon Alley
London, England

This letter is to inform the sitting Minister for Magic, the Head Warlock, and the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement that your presence is required before the Crown at your earliest convenience to discuss rumors of an ill advised law governing marriage between the Queen’s magical subjects. Her majesty has significant concerns regarding the potential impacts of this law that her magical government may have not foreseen. She realizes that her magical government may still be recovering from two major civil conflicts and general upheaval among those charged with overseeing the well-being and prosperity of her magical subjects for surely no one in their sound mind would enact legislation that would not only sow the seeds for yet a third period of civil unrest but also all but demand such an event that can only be seen as the act of a tyrant.

The Crown does not appreciate being made to seem a tyrant to her magical subjects because of the actions of those acting on its behalf with questionable intelligence and even more questionable moral character. Nor does the Crown appreciate said magical representatives under its authority to be purposefully inciting rebellion within its lands. Therefore and to wit, be prepared to explain yourselves and answer for your actions should you be informing the Crown that this disturbing rumor is actually enacted fact. Should this be so, I am reluctantly forced by my conscience to advise you and the other members of the Wizengamot behind this absurdity to retain the best barristers available within your means. Considering the temper her majesty is in at this time, your very lives could depend upon it.

Please also be advised that should named parties fail to appear before the Crown within the week, a warrant for your arrest shall be issued and executed by members of Her Majesties Special Armed Services and a Special Envoy of the Crown. This warrant shall not be specifying what condition those named within it are required to be in upon presentation to her majesty.

Sincerely,
Tony Blair
Prime Minister of England
On behalf of Her Royal Majesty, Queen of England and its Commonwealth by the Grace of God
Queen Elizabeth II


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Go0gleplex. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Warhammer 40k belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Disclaimer #2: Fallen-Ryu does not own Warhammer 40k, also this is heavily AU due to a certain witch’s interference in this realm.

Word Count: 779

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #64
Submitted By: Fallen-Ryu
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

Or perhaps I should write ‘Dear Pit of Incompetents that makes the Imperial Administratum look like a group of super competent workers who gets their job done on time.‘ Yes, you guys, the ones with the robes and shit…

I have QUITE the warp-boner to pick with you lot… however due to the circumstances of MY reality as of late, I am unable to directly interfere with your dimension due to the Ordos Chronos telling me it’s not in the imperium’s best interest as of right now to outright declare a crusade and be done with you lot. Something to do with the time-stream and multi-verse not going all that well… also the fact it would be overkill just to send a single regiment of flash-light guys to deal with you idoits.

Never mind my super-human legions and OUR sons… yes you read correctly, one Rose Lily Potter or as she goes by Rose Kadmon(1) nowadays is the mother of my 18 legions of super-human warriors.

And if you send another group of idoits with that owl (which I would point out went extinct about the year 4596 due to what I can only describe as the worst drought in the history of mankind for good reason) I will be forced to… hand… them over to the inquisition rather than let my wife simply bind them and send them back totally humiliated. Not that my visiting sons did not find it both aggravating that someone would try to take their beloved mother away, or humor that even as pacifistic she is these days, she tends to make even warp predators fear her fury.

I can still remember the day when she tried to chase after those four warp tumors of reality sending curse after curse that to this day still has not lifted on those four.

Needless to say, any attempt to target her will be met with overwhelming firepower and extremely fast…. or just plain ol DAKKA will do.

Also as a side note, we looked at the photo of the wizard you fools attempted to set her up with…the fact she turned such a drastic shade of green that had Mortarian look worried for her health and resulted her in a three day stay at the imperial palaces medical quarters… of course she also requested I remove the memory of that specific incident. I must say you choose…. poorly… in regards of her tastes.

I will write this again; any further attempts will be met with my new crusade of the Multiverse Imperium of mankind…

Do NOT try this again, you have been warned.

Insincerely,

The Emperor of Mankind

P.S: This is Rose Lily Kadmon… if you bloody twit sacks dare try to set me up with ANY of those morons you chose, I WILL send Angron out to do what he does best against you idoits, and I will HAVE NO REGRETS! Of course, Konrad would be most pleased to join in the fun as will the more… violent… legions my HUSBAND and I have at our disposal…

Do try to not let the catchcan fungal spores spray into your face…. oh wait… I just did let it spray into your face the moment you read this line. Have fun watching the fungus slowly eat out your eyeballs and turn you into a vegetable.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Fallen-Ryu. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Note from Fallen-Ryu: I don’t know the emperors name, so I borrowed the name from another fanfiction called Get Me Out of This Hell-Hole! By DeusExTranshuman… he hasn’t updated in a while or answered any messages, but if you do find out about this do know you have full credit for the emperors fandom name!

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and One Piece belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,252

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #65
Written By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear Arrogant Sleazeabags From the Ministry of Magic,

What part of ‘I AM ALREADY MARRIED!!‘, do you morons not understand, and that I do not live in your bloody magical world or country or even live in the same universe as you people?! So even if I could come back there to follow your ludicrous law, I sure as hell won’t. I am happily married with kids, and have no intention of leaving my husband and children again.

I still don’t know how you managed to get that phoenix of Dumbledores to travel here to deliver the letter along with the ten member team of aurors that came with him, but kudo’s to you. It doesn’t change the simple fact that I still refuse to come back to that world. I also don’t appreciate the team of aurors you sent with Fawkes to try and force me back. You won’t be seeing them ever again by the way. Out of the ten aurors you sent after me, only five are still alive, and I assure you, that you won’t be seeing the survivors ever again in this life time.

Usually we wouldn’t use this kind of punishment on anybody, but they pissed us off so much that my husband and I both decided that the perfect punishment for them was to take away and snap their wands, and dump them in the nearest slave market, where they will hopefully be spending the rest of their lives as slaves, as punishment for their attempted assault on my family and myself. Hopefully if they survive whatever their new owners do to them, they’ll have learned their lessons and hopefully will have gained a healthy respect for others whether the other people have magic or not.

I don’t know how long its been since I left your world behind to return to the one where my family resides in after that stupid Triwizard Tournament fiasco that dragged me there against my will, but over here its been five years since my return home, and I have no intention of going back over there to be married off to some simpering, weakling of a wizard to be his broodmare. Even if I wasn’t already married, I have specific standards on what kind of man I’d take into my bed, and, nobody over there has a chance in hell of ever getting into my bed. I will quite happily castrate them first before that’ll ever happen.

As I am already a married woman, I am a one man kind of gal, and I already have my one and only man in my life who I will ever welcome into my bed. Anyone else who tries will wish they were never born courtesy of either myself or my darling Dragon if he’s around when the attempt is made.

Turns out time over here is different over there, so as far as I know only a few months might have gone by since I left your world. I have already wasted enough time over there thanks to the Triwizard Tournament, and by the time I finally came home, it was to discover that over here I was gone longer than I was stuck over there, and I have already missed out on a lot of time with my husband and eldest son thanks to you morons, and I absolutely refuse to leave them again.

Your little ‘population problem’ is not my problem, and I refuse to let you idiots try and think you can force me to obey your laws, especially when I don’t even live over there and don’t consider myself a citizen of your pathetic society. Try sending more aurors after me, and they will wind up either dead or join their former coworkers in the slave markets.

Sincerely yours,
Monkey D. Cheshire
aka Captain Darkhaven ‘Dragon Princess‘ D. Nemesis of the Draconia Pirates
Formerly known as Primrose Potter

P.s. Another thing that I almost forgot to tell you, you can also forget about sending aurors after my crew to bring them back for your little marriage law as well. They all left your world of their own free will to come with me when I left to get away from your war and conflict, and your claim of them being ‘underaged witches and wizards who still have to obey your law‘ is bogus, seeing how as I already said before, its been five years since we came back here, so just about everybody who used to be considered ‘underaged’ when they left are now full fledged adults in their early twenties and no longer count as ‘underaged teenagers under the legal adult age of seventeen‘ even in your stupid society, and they all agree with me on the matter of going back to take part in it, and they all unanimously say hell no to the law as well.

Dear Blowhards From Another World,

I swear that if you people come after my wife again involving this pathetic ‘marriage law’ you came up with, I swear that I will come after each and everyone of you and beat the crap out of all of you and make all of you wish you were never born with the help of my rebel followers, before we end your pathetic lives once and for all. I’m not going to lose her again, after I finally got her back, after all this time.

So far, after reading your ludicrous demands for my wife to leave me so that you can marry her off to some rich fat bastard ‘wizard’ of your choice, as far as I am concerned you people are almost as bad as the damn World Nobles and the Celestial Dragons combined, if you morons are seriously stupid enough to even think that you have some form of imaginary right to break up happy families in order to marry them off to someone else against their wills, and even stupider to think that they and their families they won’t fight it.

You’ve been warned and only get one chance to back off on the stupidity of this plan of yours before we find a way to come after you, if we see another gang of law enforcement officers from your pathetic society. She’s mine and I don’t share her with anyone for any reson.

Sincerely,
Monkey D. Dragon
Husband of Monkey D. Cheshire
Leader and Founder of the Revolutionary Army


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol Yes its’s a rejection letter, that’s a crossover with One Piece. This letter is based off of one of my own fanfics A Bridge of Dragons. If anyone hasn’t read it yet. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and RWBY belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 320

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #66
Submitted By: Phoenix Paladin
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To whoever is in ‘charge’,

I’ll admit, I hold a dim view on most of humanity.

But your people? When my consort first approached me seven years ago, I thought his tale (and not the crappy story he made up) was fantastical. His abilities, once demonstrated, added credence that have made him invaluable to my people. To say nothing of the little tricks he’s managed to teach to one of my more valued comrades.

It certainly surprised everyone within the camp when your letter arrived the way it did, though not as much as the brief glimpse of Harry’s full temper. By the way, thanks to that, I lost eleven fighters to the wave of Grimm drawn by that event. At least my consort was considerate enough to clean up the mess he caused, alongside ‘his’ apprentice.

It had taken some... ‘interrogation‘, before Harry had spilled everything in that letter, given it was shredded in his fury. Though, truthfully, he certainly enjoyed it.

So, I’ll make this short and simple.

Leave Harry Potter, my consort, alone. Or you’ll find your worthless government coming under new management.

Raven
Leader of the Branwen Tribe


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Phoenix Paladin. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Final Fantasy 7 belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 291

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #67: SOLDIER Wife
Submitted By: greenespeon1995
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Your request is denied.

Mrs. Potter-Valentine-Rhapsodos-Hewley is actually married with our top three SOLDIER and most importantly... she is the only one who can convince them to compile theirs damned paperworks! (And stopped them from causing a world-wide massacre, ah, right... she also killed Jenova with that strange cursed fire...)

Every single intruder will be disposed of by our Department of Administrative Research employees.

Never write again!

Rufus Shinra
President of Shinra Electric Power Company

PS. If I see even another one of yours pathetic Auror near our wife, the life of everyone of your people is forfeit. - General Sephiroth C. Valentine First Class SOLDIER

PPS. In the box are the ashes of the idiots who attempted to kidnap our wife, they really didn’t appreciate Dodge the Fireballs. - Commander Genesis Rhapsodos First Class SOLDIER

PPPS. Really stop. We have enough work to do and a Puppy and a Chocobo to teach. - Commander Angeal Hewley First Class SOLDIER


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by greenespeon1995. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Super Mario Brothers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 179

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #68
Submitted By: Jostanos
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Hello, Minis-try of Magikoopas, It’s-a me, Mario!

Your laws do-nut apply to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Further more.. Harrison MARIO already has a girlfriend.

Luigi speaking.. Harrison has a fiancé, and.. she’s not too happy about this either.

Mario again.. *sighs* King ‘Bowser’ Koopa and Fawful weren’t this bad.

Stay away.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Saint’s Row belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 392

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #69
Submitted By: Archangel N. Bloodraven
===============================

Ministry of Magic,

Girl-Who-Lived? It’s been ages since anybody called me that.

I’ve been called Playah.

I’ve been called Boss.

I’ve been called Fucking Bitch. Maero really hated it when I made him crush his girlfriend with a monster truck. Too bad.

I’ve been called Madame President.

I’ve been called Empress of the Zinn Empire.

And now somehow, having survived the destruction of Earth, you are expecting me to drop my completely awesome life, and bend over and be your bitch.

The last person who expected me to be their bitch was Lucifer. My husband Johnny and my wife Kinzie promptly followed me into hell for the express purpose of reclaiming me for scary hot sexy times (that was Kinzie) and shooting Satan in the face. (that was Johnny)

Now admittedly we haven’t had what most would consider a binding legal marriage, as all the priests died when Zinyak blew up the Earth, but when the highest existing authority says you’re hitched, it pretty much counts.

That highest authority would be ME by the way. Normally I wouldn’t have to explain that detail, but since this law shows critical amounts of stupid, it’s better to clarify such salient points.

So you fuck off and leave me to my own devices, or me and my spouses will come and make wizards extinct, and then in true Third Street fashion, we’ll take over your conquered territory and run it ourselves. It’s kinda what we do.

Maggie Potter
Boss of the Third Street Saints


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Archangel N. Bloodraven. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Fate Apocrypha/Grand Order belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 299

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #70
Submitted By: StormOfDiamonds
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Dear Minister of Magic.

You have approximately one minute to say your prayers before my husband arrives via included portkey.

Sincerely Yours,
Lily Euphenia Potter
The Master of Death


5 days later…

“Come home already! I know that you are angry, but they are already dead! It is not like they can feel anything anymore. I swear that your temper is even worse than mine!”

Achilles made a face.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by StormOfDiamonds. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from StormOfDiamonds: Considering what occurred after his best friend was killed by Hector in theTrojan war, I think that it paints a very clear picture about what happened in the ministry. The details are only up to you dear reader.

This work has Achilles from Fate Apocrypha. He appeared in Fate Grand Order too, but only once, barely anyone knows about it because he is so hidden. And Fem!Harry, not Lily Evans.

I have nothing to read so I told myself that I would make an another one. I am considering making one for Kyohime and Minamoto no Yorimitsu, both from Fate Grand Order.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 602

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #71
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

Are you bloody kidding me?! Law or no law, there is no way in bloody hell am I dumping my husband and child to be the brood mare of some pompous twit of a pureblood wizard!! I did not just barely manage to survive the final war with Voldemort with my darling Remus in tow, for you arses to come up with a law that’s trying to separate me from the man I love, and the son we created together. Our separation is never going to happen for any reason so you can take your ‘repopulation problem‘ troubles and quick fix idea and shove it where the sun don’t shine!

I don’t bloody care about the reasons why you idiotic people seem to think that you can decide my life for me. I’ve had enough trouble spending months convincing Remy that we belonged together, and that as far as I’m concerned his ‘condition’ doesn’t matter to me, because I will always love and want him anyways. I refuse to let his ‘monthly problem’ get in the way of my love for him.

As far as I’m concerned, he’s the perfect man for me in all ways, and I will not be going to let some ministry decree tell me who I can be with. I’ve already made my choice and if a bunch of racist bigots like you don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine. I’ll hex anybody who tries to tell me otherwise.

Also please consider this letter my resignation from the auror corps, because by the time you receive this letter, I’ll be long gone alongside my family, along with a bunch of our friends who feel the same way as we do, to find a country to live in that won’t try and enforce a law that will break up a family for any reason, and since I won’t be in the country any longer I don’t see any reason to keep my old job in said country.

Sincerely Yours,
Nymphadora Cherise Lupin nee Tonks

P.S. – I should come over there just to hex the whole lot of you into the next millenium for making me angry enough to have to write my entire first name in this letter.

P.p.s. – On second thought, I’m sending the hex through this letter instead. I sincerely hope that whoever is ‘lucky’ to be the first to open this letter likes my little ‘surprise’ I added to it. It’ll take a week or two to wear off. Might be longer I’m not really sure at this point.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol I decided to do the one character I haven’t done yet, and this Tonks is one who survived the war with Voldemort alongside Remus and both are raising their son Teddy together. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol


Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default-Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 249

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #72
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

To Whom It My Concern,

Why now? Why not try this stunt while I was still ‘alive’ on your world?

YOU sent me through the veil after the so-called ‘Tri-Wizard Tournament’ was over. YOU accused ME of lying about Peter ‘Wormtail’ Pettigrew AKing Cedric Diggory, thus helping ‘Moldy Shorts’ to return!

Well now I’m in Luxendarc, and I am abut to get married to the local ‘Diva of the Airwaves’ (may she forgive me for misspelling her name): Praline a la Mode!

By the way, YOUR magic PALES in comparison to the job Asterisks of Luxndarc!

Never your ‘Golden Boy/Hero’,
Harry Potter

P.S.: Should you send any being to ‘kidnap‘ me? *chuckles darkly* You won’t be seeing them again.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default-Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 216

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #73
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic Earth’s United(?) Kingdom,

My name is not ‘Harry James Potter’! My name is Matsuo Geneolgia, Adopted Son of Yew & Magnolia Geneolgia of Luxendarc!

I refused your so-called school’s invitation, and I DENY (heehee.. thank you, Uncle Dnys for allowing me to quote you.) your ‘Marriage Laws’ since they have no effect on me and the over all population of Luxendarc.

Huh? Matsuo Arrior? OH! Heh heh... you see.. He’s my ‘twin’, and he may have rejected the marriage laws too.

Au Revoir! (Toodles!)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 440

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #74
Submitted By: decoy73
Sequel to: Letters #21 & #41
===============================

SHAKEUP AT MINISTRY! MARRIAGE LAW REPEALED!

In a stunning reversal, the Pureblood Heritage Preservation Act of 2007 was repealed following the dismissal and arrest of former Minister Dolores Jane Umbridge by a Muggle Envoy to the British Crown for refusal to an official summons by, and attack on, Muggle Prime Minister, Tony Blair.

“While we regret the arrest of Madame Umbridge, it has been shown that the situation is out of our hands, and we must move forward,” said incoming Minister Albert Runcorn. “The first is to repeal the marriage law that has caused so much unrest in recent weeks.”

For more information, turn to page 3


Repeal Of The Pureblood Heritage Preservation Act Of 2007 (PHPA):

  • Article 1: The PHPA is hereby repealed. All couples engaged to marry under the law may annul their engagements at no penalty.
  • Article 2: Any couples that have already married will be summoned to the Ministry to either confirm or annul their marriages at no penalty.
  • Article 3: Any person arrested as a result of this law will be released and the related charges expunged effective immediately, as well as receive compensation of ten (10) Galleons per day imprisoned.
  • Article 4: Any person that has renounced their citizenship to Magical Britain as a direct result of the PHPA shall have their citizenship restored at no penalty effective immediately.
  • Article 5: Any person that has been approached with hostile intent either inside Magical Britain or abroad as a result of the PHPA shall receive a formal apology from the Ministry as well as compensation for medical bills and property damage.

Signed,
Albert David Runcorn, Minister of Magic
Percival Ignatius Weasley, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic


Umbridge,

We warned you what would happen. Do not expect any help. You stand alone.

John Richard Dawlish, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot
Pansy Scarlett Parkinson, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by decoy73. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Fate/Stay Night belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 762

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #75
Submitted By: Phoenix Paladin
===============================

Dear Madam Belladyne Chippler,

British Minister of Magic,

Firstly, as we (or, rather, ‘you‘ in particular) have yet to meet, allow me to introduce myself;

My name is Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, though I mostly prefer to be called Zelretch, also known as the Wizard Marshall, Zelretch of the Jewels, and/or the Kaleidoscope.

The Kaleidoscope, incidentally, is the unofficial/official name of my main magicks, which is the Second True Magic, and involves, in layman’s terms, the ability to travel between and within the multiverse. Now, if you don’t know what the multiverse is, simply think of it as an enormous length of rope. And then envision each separate fibre is a universe or timeline where differences could be as minor as different things you had for breakfast last Thursday at 9:32 AM, or as major as your entire family line being, as you call them, Squibs. You now have an idea of how much power I could wield should I and my alternate selves pool our respective Prana to cast spells.

I am, further, the 4th ranked member of the 27 Dead Apostle Ancestors, or 27 D.A.A for short.

Now, you may be wondering, “Just what is a Dead Apostle Ancestor?”

I believe, according to an alternates grandson, that your closest approximation would be vampires. Furthermore, the 27 D.A.A are the strongest threats to Humanity, number 1 being capable of wiping out all Humanity instantly and number 27, while most likely needed some provocation, would likely take around a month to half a year to either exterminate all Humanity or turn them into ghouls to serve him.

Now, you are undoubtedly thinking I’m threatening you. I assure you, I’m not... yet.

Did you know, that the very planet you stand on has a consciousness? And that the same holds true for all the planets in the universe? Well, Gaia isn’t very happy with Humanity, so it called on the consciousness of the other planets for aid in clearing them off, much like ants off the floor.

The Moon was the first to do so.

To make a long story short, I, with all the Prana as supplied by my alternates, held the Moon, indeed the very same Moon in the night sky, at bay so that it could not essentially wipe out all life on Earth. Ask a ‘Muggleborn‘, as you call them, as to just how big the Moon is, and then have your researchers look into how much energy would be used to hold that from crashing into the ground when it’s actively trying to kill everything save the planet.

Now that introductions are out of the way, allow me to get to the heart of the matter;

You recently sent a letter to my darling wife, one Luna Schweinorg née Lovegood, whom has been a wonderful source of chaotically random entertainment since I’d met her, that she was to, and I quote, “present herself before the Department of Marriage Licensing so as to be introduced to her magically matched fiancé, married and to aid in the repopulation of the British Wizarding World to acceptable levels.

It is only through the mischievous grace of my beloved wife, whom has undergone the process of becoming a Dead Apostle Ancestor with aid from Black Wing, that I have not dropped each and every last one of you into a lovely little world known as Mareth, which so happens to be overrun with lust-filled demons.

She instead suggested I make a list of every embarrassing moment you and your alternates have done and, should you attempt to ‘retrieve’ my wife, I will happily have you all reenact those moments in public.

Though my earlier threat is still on the table.

Sincerely,

Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by decoy73. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Marvel’s Deadpool belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 229

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #76: Deadpool-ish Marriage Rejection Letter
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

Oh! Hello! Are you still hoping to have the ‘Children-Who-Lived‘ join a harem, or your bunch of inbred twits?

Oh-ho-ho-ho no! Not gonna happen! Not even for all the galleons in the Diagon Ally branch of Gringotts!

Why? Well... that’s too long a tale for even Jostanos *waves when the camera/device pans to him* to type up at short notice.

By the way... I’d heed the majority of the warnings if I were you. *looks through the chapter list.* hmm.. you may have already on a couple of occasions.

Good for you! Toodles!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 480

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #77
Submitted By: MagicGirl11
===============================

Dear Ministry,

YOU EFFING MORONS! You think you’re going to get us to follow this stupid law and marry someone you set for us? You allowed this war to happen, and now you want me to come back? We left Britain for peace. Now you want us to come back? IDIOTS!


(This part is a howler)


From Alex:
YOU WANT ME TO MARRY MALFOY?! I CAN’T STAND HIM! HE’S A FUCKING MORON! ALSO, I LEFT BRITAIN! YOUR LAWS DON’T APPLY TO ME ANYMORE! SO YOU IDIOTS, LEAVE ME ALONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, HAVING MALFOY AND PARKINSON TURN UP AT MY HOUSE WHEN I’M NOT A BRITISH CITIZEN! I’M A AMERICAN, AND WOULD BE WELL WITHIN MY RIGHTS TO COMPLAIN TO THE MAUSCA ABOUT BRITAIN! I’M HAPPILY MARRIED TO TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE, AND AM THE ONLY REASON THAT VOLDEMORT IS NOT TERRORIZING BRITAN RIGHT NOW! HOWEVER, THAT COULD CHANGE QUITE EASILY! ALSO, I’M PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD!

From Marvolo:
YOU IDIOTS! I HAD TO FORCIBLY RESTRAIN ALEXANDRIA FROM DESTROYING BRITAIN! YOU ALSO TAUGHT ME WHY I SHOULD HAVE KEPT FIGHTING! IDIOTS!

From Harry:
YOU WANT ME TO MARRY PANSY PARKINSON?! IDIOT! SHE’S A IDIOT TOO! F**** YOU! I LOVE HERMIONE! AND WE’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR TWO YEARS!

From Hermione:
YOU WANT ME TO MARRY RON?! WE MAY BE FRIENDS, BUT I DON’T WANT TO MARRY HIM! I’M HAPPILY MARRIED ANYWAY! I LOVE HARRY! AND I’M PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD! I’M OFF THE MARKET! AND HAVE BEEN FOR TWO YEARS! THE LAW IS FOR THOSE WHO ARE ELIGIBLE AND AVAILABLE, NOT MARRIED!

From Ron:
YOU WANT ME TO MARRY HERMIONE?! WE’RE FRIENDS! BUT WE WON’T BE HAPPY MARRIED! F*** YOU!

From all of them:
We’re done. We’re never coming back. F*** you.

From Alex:
Oh, my grandmother, Queen Titania and grandfather King Oberon are really pissed at you. Leave us alone.

Sincerely,

Lady Alexandria Slytherin nee Potter (Formerly the Girl-Who-Lived, although that’s crap), Lord Tom Marvolo Slytherin, Lord Harry Potter, Lady Hermione Potter nee Granger, and Ron Weasley.

The Golden Quartet


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by MagicGirl11. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 210

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #78
Submitted By: MagicGirl11
Response to: Letter #20
Sequel to: Letter #77
===============================

Dear Ministry,

To your response to our letters:

You are idiots. All of us can easily defend ourselves against you. As a matter of fact, all of the people who replied have banded together. The ministry will burn unless this law is over.

In fact, you have five days until magical Britain is engulfed in flames. Evacuate while you can.

Written by: Heiress Alexandria Slytherin nee Potter, supported by everyone who had to reply to your stupid law.

We hope Britian burns in flames.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by MagicGirl11. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Hellsing: Ultimate Abridged – by Team Four Star belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 310

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #79
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

“Vunderbar Bologna, a letter!” a pudgy, blond, vertically-challenged golem exclaims when the he sees mail on his desk. As he reads it, the ‘Major’ begins to frown and, after finding some parchment, a self-inking-quill, and an envelope he begins to write a response:


“To ze Daft Morons who think that hey have escaped Grindevald’s var..

HA!HA!HA!HA! ZE JOKES ON YOU! VE ARE STILL AT VAR!

Alzo.. I am not zis ‘Harry Potter’ zat you are looking for.

I AM THE MAJOR! (“Asshole!“ quips a certain dual pistol wielding vampire, but he is ignored.)

Zis ‘Harry Potter’ never existed... he died und... became... vell... me!

Your ‘Marriage Laws’ ave no effect on me, and since you are about to be destroyed anyvey.. Ze point is moot.

Au vederzein!”


The Major’s response disappears from his desk almost as soon as it is placed in the provided envelope, and addressed to those who sent the original missive.

Shortly after it is read in front of everybody in the Wizengamut, and heard over the wizard wireless... Care to guess?


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 723

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #80: Original Ministry Letter That Started It All
By: Sakura Lisel
Prequel to: Letter #20
===============================

Dear {Insert Name Here},

Because of the recent war with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, our once thriving and prosperous wizarding population has been greatly reduced, along with the growing rate of Squibs being born since the end of the war, and needs to be saved before it is too late. By Ministry Decree Article #20995, a mandatory Marriage Law has been implemented to ensure that our society continues on.

If you are receiving this letter, then you are among the still registered available and unmarried witches and wizards between ages seventeen and up that the ministry has selected to take part in the marriage law, where you are required to submit youself to the ministry within a week of receiving your letter, where you will be put through a series of medical tests to confirm if you are compatiable for the law before being assigned to your ministry appointed spouse who will be chosen for you beforehand via a special ritual.

The ministry has decided that everyone must do their part in keeping our great society going in the name of progress so that we do not die out. Another safety measure to ensure that no Squibs are born from the pairings, the ministry shall also implement a special ritual that will match up all couples with their perfect match that will ensure that any children born from the union will have magic, along with monthly checkups on the lucky brides will also be mandatory to keep track of the pregnancies.

All matched couples are required to get married within a month of being paired with each other, and all couples are required to have produced at least two to three, or more, children within the next five years of their marriage to each other, with cheating and illegitimate children will not be tolerated among the couples.

The ministry has decided that in the off chance case that the chosen couples are already otherwise engaged or already married to other people, then we are terribly sorry for the inconvenience to everyone involved, but they are now hereby required to dissolve their current relationship with that person in order to participate in the marriage law, as the relationship is not approved by the ministry, and will be seen as failure to comply with the law if refusal is implied.

The ministry has also decided that one of the members that is matched is already married, the married one is required to dissolve their marriage in order to take part in the Marriage Law. Failure to do so shall send the guilty party and everyone involved to Azkaban for three months, before they will be married to their ministry approved spouse upon release. Any children already conceived or born from the previous relationship will be given over full custody to the other parent or taken into to ministry custody until further notice.

It is detrimental for the continued wellbeing of our society that you comply by any means necessary in order to help ensure our societys future. Aurors shall immediately be sent out to collect anyone who refuses to comply and bring them in to stand trial where they will have the choice to comply with the law, or be sent to Azkaban for three months. Continued failure to comply with the law will face dire consequences. Continued refusal will result in having your wands snapped with your magic sealed, and all knowledge of magic erased from your minds.

Sincerely yours,
Lilith B. Crawford, ESQ.
Head Director of Regulation of Magical Marriages Ministry Department


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol I was bored and decided to finaly do the letter that started the whole Marriage Law Rejection Letter mess. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Percy Jackson belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 296

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #81
Submitted By: WhiteElfElder
===============================

Miniscule Mortals of the Ministry of Mangle Magicians....that’s you!

The morons you sent to attempt to capture me and bring me back for this hopped up legalized rape program has really pissed off the types of beings you do not want to piss off. After I told My Wife, Thalia, about what you were trying to do, she sought an audience with her dad, Zeus.

While there we had all of the other gods already present and then the Mother of Magic showed up because I am her champion, me Harry. So, you royally pissed off the entire pantheon in one swoop...even pissed off Hades like nothing I have ever seen.

So, I am sorry to say that you are on a limited time... probably only minutes beyond receiving this letter... as he has ordered his favorite punishment, the one that destroyed Atlantis.

Release the Kraken!

P.S. Anyone that does survive, will not find themselves able to use the gift of magic anymore, Hecate has vowed this on the Styx.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by WhiteElfElder. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Kantai Collection and The Seventh Carrier belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,292

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #82
Submitted By: Pyeknu
===============================

Dear Ministry of Suicidal Idiots,

Have nice afterlives.

Shizuka Potter
Lady Shinano of Yokosuka
Third of the Yamato-class
Marchioness Potter of Taunton Deane

P.S. Don’t worry. Oné-sama will make it painful and long when she comes to deliver you to your ancestors.


London, the Ministry of Magic, one afternoon...

“Well, don’t say we didn’t warn you,” Warspite calmly noted as she sipped her tea.

A wide-eyed Pansy Parkinson could only stare in awed shock at the mound of decapitated and mangled corpses now piled up in the Atrium of the Ministry, the remnants of a large force of hit-wizards that had been hired by the members of the Wizengamot who had voted for the Marriage Law to protect those August nobles from the terrible wrath of the Angry One...

...who happened to be the SISTER-IN-LAW of the battleship-turned-carrier that had been reborn to fight the Abyssal menace.

And was now the effective Lady Potter of Taunton Deane.

Wife of the Man-Who-Won.

“Great Merlin...!” one of the more stoic aurors sputtered as he tried to keep his breakfast down from the overwhelming stench that was now emanating from the corpses left behind by the fifth of the Yamato-class and the second to be transformed into an aircraft carrier. Most of his fellows had already lost their lunches at the sight of such slaughter, worlds worse than anything the Blood Wars had produced, much less the Ministry’s feeble efforts to deal with the strange demons of the deep oceans that only the shipgirls — beings who had been brought to live by MUGGLES of all people! — could combat on an equal footing.

PARKINSON! GET IN HERE AND ...urrkh!

Pansy sighed, then she gave the second of the Queen Elizabeth-class battleships a polite curtsy before she ran to the stairs that led down to the courtroom levels. Soon reaching the wrecked doors of Courtroom Ten — which doubled as the main meeting hall of the Wizengamot when they were in session — the Chief Auror took a deep breath before she looked inside...

...then she winced again on seeing the small mound of slaughtered Wizengamot elders on the floor below the raised dais where the Minister for Magic held court in weekly meetings. Said minister himself was now in the grasp of a very tall and muscular woman with grey-shot raven hair tied in a simple ponytail and the most stormy grey eyes the Slytherin alumnus had ever seen on anyone, human and shipgirl alike. Said woman currently wore her sea uniform of a white kimono top over green rider’s hakama trousers, that covered with the obvious physical signs that she was an aircraft carrier shipgirl serving His Imperial Majesty, the Heavenly Sovereign of Japan. Never mind the glimmering Daisho lashed to her left hips, her beautiful yet now quite bloody katana drawn and in her free hand as she casually choked the life out of the blundering idiot that, by pressing for that idiot law, brought down the terrible wrath of two MONARCHS on the collective heads of wizarding Britain.

Pansy, at least, had long read the magical Constitution of the Realm.

She KNEW what the Ministry’s relationship with the Queen actually was.

And she also knew — through letters from Harry Potter — how much the legendary Seventh Carrier of Operation Z doted on her little sister Shinano, who married the Man Who One and became Lady Shizuka Ito-Potter of Yokosuka and Taunton Deane.

Of course, a marriage between a WIZARD and a SHIPGIRL was heresy in the minds of many in wizarding Britain.

That had, in part, prompted the law that was to drag Harry back to Britain to see him married to his “chief fan-girl”.

Never mind that Ginny Thomas was happily married to her husband...!

“Ah, Parkinson-dono! My apologies for being so blunt in my visit today.”

Pansy shuddered as that ice-cold woman’s voice escaped the Angry One as she tried to tune her own mage-sight down from being blinded by the aircraft carrier’s incredible magical aura, which was flaring with outrage at the actions the Wizengamot had carried out that caused her little sister to cry.

“I trust it was you who dealt with the aurors that were sent to Japan who tried to kidnap Harry and drag him back here to force him together with the Weaslette, Lady Yonaga?”

The carrier known to close friends as Ito Yoiko smirked. “If that was the standard skill of magical law enforcement agencies, Pansy-san, it was no wonder that yakuza Riddle was able to almost take over this nation. Be thankful that we had not been returned to duty by then; my good friends in this nation would have been quite thorough in dealing with him and his lot.”

“Parkin-...son! Kill this... thing...!” the minister gasped through that steel-hard grip.

Yonaga sighed. “Excuse me, please.”

Pansy then winced as the carrier’s katana sliced the minister’s head just under the ear, shattering the fool’s skull and sending what was left flying into the lectern. Yonaga tossed aside what was left of the idiot’s body, then reached into her trousers to draw out a quite bloody rag to clean her blade of the minister’s blood and gore before she properly sheathed the weapon.

“Her Majesty commands yo6u attend Her at Buckingham Palace to receive Her Warrant as Her Minister for Magic, Lady Parkinson,” the seventh carrier of Operation Z declared with a graceful bow, making the current head of House Parkinson gape at such an honour. “I pray all the Kami of this land will give you wisdom in the trying times ahead. Excuse me.”

With that, the shipgirl that ALWAYS sent Abyssals on the run wherever she sailed walked out of the courtroom. Pansy watched her go, shaking her head as she recalled Harry’s private letter to her warning her of Yonaga’s mercurial mood swings that stemmed from her lost crew’s seven decades trapped in an icy cove in remote Siberia, only freeing herself when the dark sea demons came to her one day to make her one of them. Thankful that Yonaga had the classical Japanese sense of manners that went with her traditional samurai training, the new Minister for Magic could only sigh as she imagined what would happen once the successors to the fools killed here today found out about renewed Royal interest in wizarding Britain...


FIN...


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Pyeknu. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Note from Pyeknu: Directly inspired by The Seventh Shipgirl, written by Pyeknu.

Translation List:

  • -Oné-sama — Elder sister (very formal)
  • -Daisho — Literally “large and small“, the name applied to the two combat swords (a long katana and shorter wakizashi) always carried by samurai
  • -Dono — Lord/Lady
  • -Kami — Divine spirit/god.

Human Names For The Shipgirls (From The Seventh Shipgirl):

  • -HMS Warspite — Charlene Victoria Boleyn
  • -JS Shinano — Ito Shizuka
  • -JS Yonaga — Ito Yoiko

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Inuyasha belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 675

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #83: Inu Demon Lord’s Mate
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: Elfin69, dannellejackson54
===============================

To The Extremely Foolish Mahotsukai Gaijin Of Magical Britain,

I am writing this letter on the behalf of my wife, Holly Annie Mizuki nee Potter, and myself about the absurdity of the letter that we received from you fools.

I truly can not tell if you humans are either extremely stupid or extremely suicidal if you truly believe that this Sesshoumaru shall allow you to take what rightfully belongs to him. The witch formerly known as Holly Annie Mizuki nee Potter is not available for your asinine ‘marriage law’, and shall never be available for it as long as I live. Your pitiful ‘repopulation problems’ is not our problems, and we will not break up just so you can pimp her out.

Any further attempts to try and remove her from my custody will be met with immediate force and loss of life of the would be kidnappers, and Magical Britian will face a war against my armies that will make the one you had with Lord Voldemort look like a mere walk in the park, where we will proceed to wipe out each and every last one of you foolish Mahotsukai that lives in Britian, before I will allow you take what is mine, and allow you to attempt to put her with an undesirable wizard to give him children, when she already has myself as her chosen husband and the children she has already given me in our marriage, and is already nearly four months pregnant once more with our next child when your ridiculous letter arrived.

My beloved Holly is happily mated (or married if you pitiful humans want to be picky on terms) to myself. She is one of the few humans this Sesshoumaru barely tolerates and respects and is currently the only reason that I am not already leading an army of yokai against you foolish people for this affront on my family, as she insists that we give you a chance to change your mind about involving her in this law of yours before we send in the army to wipe all of you out.

If you truly value the ‘continuation’ of your society, I highly advise all of you to back off before you make me really mad, and not even my wife will be able to stop my wrath against you imbeciles.

Lord Sesshoumaru Mizuki
Supreme Lord of the Western Lands of Japan
Husband of Holly Annie Mizuki nee Potter

P.s. Holly-san has informed me to also tell you that if you continue harassing her about this law, that she will personally be leading my armies against you imbeciles just for your choice in who her would be wizarding husband shall be.

Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box as a request by Elfin69 and dannellejackson54 for a Inuyasha type Rejection Letter, where a female Harry Potter was married to Lord Sesshoumaru. Took me awhile to decide on what to write, but I hope you guys like it.

Before anyone asks, this is a OLDER, future Sesshoumaru who’s lived for the last 500 years since Inuyasha and Kagomes time in the Feudal Era, all the way up to the modern times when he meets Holly Potter, and has basically ‘mellowed out’ when it comes to humans in his ‘old’ age, instead of the past ‘younger’ version of the demon lord as the reason why they are getting the Ministry Owls and attempted kidnappings.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Creepypasta belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,345

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #84
Submitted By: Lunarwolf11021
===============================

Dear Ministry of idiotic magical victims,

I am not amused by your attempts to take Rosa away from us. She is one of the few ‘sane’ members of our group not to mention someone that knows how to enjoy a good cup of tea. Adding on to it, she can keep Zalgo from fucking with my people which means there is no way in any level of hell or the pit you’re getting anywhere near her. I am tired of dealing with him on more than a monthly basis. Here are the other reasons we will not be allowing you to take her:

  1. She is the only one able to keep the likes of Laughing Jack from going overboard. Considering the fact Laughing Jack is an Angelic gift gone wrong that got turned into an entity of chaos, she is the only one able to do that on a consistent basis.
  2. She is a sister/mother figure to many diffrent Pasta’s and none of them are willing to give her up just because you’re less than productive species is going extinct. A few of them have caused the extinction of quite a few diffrent species.
  3. She is one of the few that can actually cook a decent meal for everyone. Considering most of us have trouble doing more than boiling water outside of a few things we use on our victims and a few that can’t even boil water, no one wants to go back to getting take-out constantly.
  4. Rosa is soulbound to Candy Pop. Do you really want to fight with an incubus that has been around for almost two thousand years? You will lose and lose badly.

I could add more, but there are others that wish to say something.

The Slenderman

The Operator and Watcher Of The Ark.


Are you fucking idiots? She’s the only non-game glitch Creepypasta that can keep up with us!

-Ben Drowned written in Sharpy


She’s the only one that can keep up with my pranks and give me new ideas! No way am I giving up my favorite pranking buddy

-Laughing Jack written in Blood.


She is going nowhere near you magical regects

-Splendorman


Dear magical simpletons,

The only reason I’m not coming to kill you is because my lover asked me not to. If you keep pushing, I will come over there and rip you all to pieces.

CanyPop


Dear Magicals,

You will not be taking the one girl that my brother can actually stand to be around that is tolerable. Adding on, I am waiting eagerly for when they finally start having kids.

Candy Cane


Dear Ministry,

Really? You’re not only attempting to take me away from my new family, but insulting Poppy by saying our bond is fake? You can’t fake soulbonds you idiots! Ask the damn goblins. As for attempting to pair me with Ron? Are you idiots? He’ll be dead before he can even think about trying to touch me. If you keep attempting to drag me back to that creator forsaken crap hole, I will enact a barrier that kills all magicals over the age of eleven that is not a muggleborn. Before you start saying that I can’t do something like that, you should know that the Ark has a library filled with books on every magical subject since the beginning of time. I have to say, Merlin was one evil fucking bastard. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be spending time with my SOULMATE that will include being fucked into unconsciousness multiple times.

Goodbye it was not a pleasure,

Lady Rosa Lumire Potter-Black.


(Ministry Of Magic, London)

A very tired Auror coming off of working the nightshift patroling Diagon Alley entered the Ministry with the intent to get his report in and head home for some much needed rest. He didn’t think much of the fact that he didn’t encounter anyone since it was so early. It wasn’t until he had almost reached the atrium that he realized something was wrong.

The air seemed colder than normal even for winter and the scent of something terribly sweet reached his nose. As he started to get closer, he noticed that there was something under the sweet scent. It was something that reminded him of copper mixed with the scent of shit. Wondering if some idiots had dropped a dung bomb, he strode into the atrium intent of scolding someone only to freeze.

All of the Aurors and hitwizards that had been sent to apprehend Potter were strung around the atrium like demented party decorations. All of them were lacking a majority of their organs which had been used to further create the image of a demented party. Each had been killed in various way with a few of them lacking a head or one that had clearly been bludguned with a heavy object multiple times. The sweet scent was coming from a few bodies stuffed to the brim with black and white candies.

The Auror didn’t bother attempting to keep his breakfast as the sight was far too terrible. He stiffened as he felt a hand on his and turned his head to find a bloodstained child staring up at him with glowing green eyes. The extreamly disturbing part was that it looked like she was bleeding from a head wound of some sort.

The child smiled wildly at him, “Hi! I’m going to play with you!”


(An Hour Later)

Rosa walked into the ministry building and clucked her tongue at the sight of so many bodies. She saw Sally standing over a freshly killed corpse and said, “Sally, where are the others?”

“Mama Rose!” Sally darted over to her and hugged Rosa, “They’re setting up gifts.”

“I see,” Rosa bent down to pick up the blood drenched child, “And you guys had Poppy distract me so you could do this?”

Sally nodded with a light hum as the raspy voice of Laughing Jack sounded, “Can ya blame us, Kit?”

“Nope, but we really should get going,” Rosa smiled as she saw everyone that regularly lived at the mansion show up covered in blood, “I’m planning on making a big meal for everyone since the brothers and so many others are coming for the big party tonight. I need you guys to set things up for me.”

They nodded and started to leave only for Toby to shout, “W-wait! We forgot to leave the letter!”

The letter was removed from Jeff’s hoodie and stuck in plane view on the statue in the center of the atrium before the group left.

Rosa only paused long enough to leave the Operator’s symbol painted in blood on the walls that weren’t already covered.


(Hours Later)

Pansy looked at the scene before her in horror and swallowed thickly as she heard someone ask, “W-what do we do?”

All missions to retrieve Potter or any requiring contact with the Creepypastas are hereby no longer accepted,” Pansy struggled to keep her tone even, “Please take down the bodies and inform their families of what happened. I want the wizarding world to know that going after Potter is not an option.”


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Lunarwolf11021. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Black Butler belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,094

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #85
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: dannellejackson54
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

In response to your letter to my wife, Historia Rosalie Spears nee Potter, that is ‘requesting’ that she ‘come home’ to your society to take in your pitiful little marriage law, I humbly regret to have to inform you that your request has been denied, and shall never be fulfilled in this life time or even the next one.

We do not know how you even managed to send your owls to her, since it should be impossible considering the circumstnaces seeing where she was when the letters arrived, but alas that is inconsequential and unimportant at the moment, because as I have said before, Historia shall not be taking part in your marriage law.

First of all, as of three years ago, because of a fatal accident that Historia was in, she is no longer part of the living world, so she is no longer obligated to help out with your repopulation problem, or has any reason to obey your society’s laws even if she wanted to, because the dead is no longer obligated to help the living on such useless matters such as what you are trying to force upon her against her will.

Upon her death, she has become known as the Mistress of Death, and was assigned to help me watch over the Management Division of the Grim Reaper Dispatch, where it is our job to collect the souls of the newly dead and help them pass on to the afterlife. It is there that we met and eventually fell in love with each other, and we are not about to end our relationship now because of you mortals, even if you somehow found a magical way to bring her back from the dead, which by the way goes against all of the laws of nature, and will be dealt with severly and accordingly if you somehow managed to succeed in your endeavors. The dead shall remain dead, and anyone who dares to try to ignore this will be punished severly.

Second, she is about the only one who can make Grim Reapers such as Undertaker and Grell Sutcliff and Ronald Knox behave themselves, if they want to stay on her good side, and even they agree that her leaving to take part in your marriage law is never going to happen, and are both are more than willing to revert back to their old homicidal selves and wipe out your society so that you stop harassing her, and at this point I am inclined to look the other way aad allow them to do so without punishment, if not join in with them in order to keep my wife.

Cordially yours,
William T. Spears
Head of the Management Division of the Grim Reaper Dispatch
Husband to Historia Rosalie Spears nee Potter


To The Dingbats of the Ministry of Magic,

As Will has already put it, in laymans terms it will be a cold day in hell before I’ll come back and take part in your law. I did my one and only duty to you morons by beating Voldemort, before packing up everything I owne and leaving you screwballs behind, and living a happy and peaceful life before my untimely death.

Even if I was still alive, the answer to your request would still be hell no. I do not ‘owe’ you morons anything more, let alone your idiotic idea that I somehow owe you the right to pimp me out like some two knut whore to some wizard I don’t know or love so that we may help ‘repopulate’ the magical world. It wasn’t my problem when I was alive, and it sure as bloody hell not my problem now that I’m no longer among the living.

If I were you in the ministry, you had better listen to William. In the time I’ve known him, he doesn’t anger very easily unless pushed to his very limits, and your moronic letter ‘requesting’ that I leave the man I love and have no intention of leaving even if I was still alive to participate in your law…

Let me tell you this... the way Will’s face looks right now, with his glasses fogging up, and the adorable angry tick forming on his forehead, I assure you that if he has to personally go down there to deal with you people, you’ll be lucky to have whatever is left of your souls by the time hes through with you not be sent on a one way trip to hell.

Even Grell is impressed at how angry you’ve made William at this point, and he knows better than I do that William hardly ever gets thus angry unless he’s truly been pushed. Not even the threat of whatever punishments he will face for prematurely ending the lives of half of you is going to stop him with the current mood he is in.

And if he has to bring Grell, Undertaker, AND Ronald with him to help, even if Will has calmed down by then enough to be reasoned with, the magical world will be lucky to still be standing afterwards if the other three go with him, especially in the moods they are currently in thanks to your letters, and I will happily be eating popcorn on the sidelines watching the insuing massacre and free show. My boys are very thorough in their jobs when properly motivated.

Hope to never hear from you people again if you know whats good for you.

Historia Rosalie Spears nee Potter
Co-Head of the Management Division of the Grim Reaper Dispatch
Wife to William T. Spears


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box as a request by dannellejackson54 for a Black Butler type Rejection Letter, where a female Harry Potter was married to Lord Sesshoumaru. Took me awhile to decide on what to write, but I hope you guys like it.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Super Mario Brothers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 171

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #86
Submitted By: Jostanos
Sequel to: Letter #68
===============================

Momma-mia.. I thought that we've told you magi-koopas to leave us alone!

Now your misguided goombas are in several of Bowser's many Hotels.

If you want them back... follow the enclosed instruction book... or disregard it at your own peril.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Valkyria Chronicles belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 220

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #87
Submitted By: cheetars
===============================

Dear Ministry of fools,

Whilst I'm happy to have recieved news from my homeland, the news itself disgusts me. I'm already married and have three magical childeren with Alicia.

This new "law" infuriates her and making her flikker human and Valkyria, and normally she is very controlled. She's debating going to Britain and kill you all.

Furthermore, Valkyria are immune to magic and they can hurt wizards greatly and kill us with little effort even when we shield ourselves. And is what I experienced against Selvaria, who is weaker than Alicia.

Greetings from Harry Potter.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by cheetars. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 250

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #88
Submitted By: moonrose221
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

I'm not very sure how you expect my darling wife to take part in a marriage contract when it clearly states Available and Eligible witches and wizards are chosen.

My wife is neither Eligible nor Available so, is therefore not required to take part in your backwater law. If you insist on pressing the issue, I will be forced to retaliate with lethal force. I may be a man who dislikes fighting, but to defend my wife, who may I add is pregnant with our third child, I will do what is needed to defend my family.

Sincerely yours,

Tsunayoshi Sawada

Ps: Go ahead and try assholes. I would love to blow you to kingdom come. -Luna Celeste Sawada nee Lovegood


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by moonrose221. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 499

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #89
Written By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: Jostanos
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

Moronic stick waving trash! I dare you to come anywhere near my wife and my family concerning this ridiculous marriage law, and I swear that whatever magical law enforcement officer trash that DARES show up will be returned with every single bone in their miserable bodies broken into tiny little pieces courtesy of my tonfas, after I have bitten all of them half to death.

And that is only half of what I will personally do to them if I get my hands on them first. Angelica swears on her magic that she will do a lot worse if she has to deal with them herself. She is a lot different from the girl you people may remember, if you stupidly think she’s going to just roll over and quietly do whatever you say. I’ve seen her bring grown men bigger than her to their knees in tears.

My sweet wife, Angelica Ruby Hibari nee Potter is my wife, and is not available for your pathetic law. Anybody who tries to take her away from myself and our children shall meet a grisly and agonizing end at the hands of myself and the organization that we both work for. The Vongola organization is more than willing to go to war to protect what is theirs, and you pathetic wizards have no chance in hell of winning against us no matter what you may think.

Impertinent trash like you have a lot of nerve for even thinking for a moment that anybody is going to take your pathetic law seriously, let alone break up whatever families they might now have when your law was made, or that the families in question are going to allow you to take their spouses away without a fight.

Sincerely yours,

Kyoya Hibari

10th Vongola Cloud Guardian

Husband to Angelica Ruby Hibari nee Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently requested to my review box by Jostanos who wanted a letter written by one of the male character from Katekyo Hitman Reborn who is married to a female Harry Potter. I just barely know anything about the series, so I don’t know how well my portrayel of Kyoya Hibari is in this letter.

Though from what I have seen of him in the few episodes I’ve watched, I like, and I think he’s perfect for the role of angry mafia husband. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Supernatural belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 840

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #90
Written By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

I can not believe the sheer audacity and sheer nerve of you wizards. Back in my day, you wouldn’t dare try and pull this crap with someone like me if you valued your misrerable lives. Writing to me of all people about this abusrd marriage law of yours as if you seriously think you have any right to do so, let alone have the nerve to even think for a single moment that I will compy with it. Your pathetic laws have no power over me and never shall, whether I am a citizen of your society or not.

You morons are very lucky that at the moment I have more important priorities to deal with right now, like trying to stop a bloody Apocalypse involving a psycho vengeance seeking goddess, to deal with, you blundering idiots, or else I would be over there to deal with you personally instead of sending this letter.

For the billionth time, my name is not Astrid Potter, and even it I was her somehow, I am under no obligation to 'come home' and help you shiftless, microscopic children 'repopulate' your sorry species if I chose not to. I am well over two hundred years old, and while I am still in the youthful prime of my life, I have no interest in becomimg a mother again at the moment, and especially not as the wife to some sniveling, inbred weakling of a manchild who is so far beneath my standards in what type of man I will take to my bed, that I surely will need a microscope just to see him.

I have had more than enough of this Astrid Potter nonsense to last me several life times. First when that old fool Albus Dumbledore had the audacity to try and tell me how to run my life after I sent in my rejection letter to that lame magic school of yours years ago, insisting that I wasn't who I have spent the last two hundred years living as and expected me to become a pure and good little Light witch, and had the audacity to ‘suggest’ that I allow myself to be deaged back to childhood so that I can go to school where I belonged. I taught the old fool a lesson he wasnt about to forget any time soon on THAT matter, because I am more than proud to say that I am a very powerful Dark Witch and have no intention of changing my ways for anybody after two hundred years.

By the way, as I have already said at the beginning of my letter, I am far too busy with the Apocalypse thats going on in the mundane world to deal with you dunderheads myself, so instead I am sending an incentive to keep you off my back if you know whats good for you. I'm sure that you've noticed the loud growling sound that must now be echoing in your supposedly empty room?

Meet Pippen, Jekyl and Hyde, my darling pet Hellhounds courtesy of my eldest son Crowley who is the King of Hell. They are very smart and loyal to me alone, and are under the strict orders to kill anyone they hear over there who is even plotting to come after me. It will be extremely gruesome and painful and traumatizing for whoever is around to witness the event when it happens.

Sincerely yours,

Rowena McCloud

P.S. Here’s a little warning just so you will know beforehand. At the moment, my boys are invisible, but you’ll definitely know you’ve gotten on their bad side when you start seeing them just before you die.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol This is a crossover with Supernatural. lol

Crowleys mom, Rowena McCloud, is a female Harry Potter who was sent back in time 200 years ago (thats how old Crowley and Rowena both said her age was around) at a young age, growing up under a new name and identity with no clue of her real past, and grows up to become Crowleys mum, before eventually catching up with the current time period 200 years later.

This letter is based off of a Hogwarts Rejection Letter involving Rowena McCloud that I submitted years ago to author twilightrules17 for her Rejection Letters story. If anyone wants to go read her Hogwarts letter, its still up in chapter 10.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Duke Nukem 3D - Apogee/3D Realms belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 244

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #91
Submitted By: OldGamer
===============================

My name's Duke Nukem.

You're pissing me off!

Somebody's gonna freaking pay for screwing up my vacation!

You wanna dance?

Let's rock.

Nobody messes with my meat!

Nobody steals our chicks... and lives!

Go ahead, make my day!

Get that crap outta here.

Gonna rip 'em a new one!

You're an inspiration for birth control.

Ooooh, that's gotta hurt!

I'm not crying over this!

See you in Hell!

So help me Duke.

Duke Nukem

P.S.: Henrietta is one of my most precious chicks. And you're dead.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by OldGamer. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from OldGamer: yep, every line except P.S. is only quote from DN3D; although I let off rest the more edgy ones.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Prototype belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,425

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #92
Submitted By: Phoenix Paladin
Requested by: TerrorPain
===============================

Edmund Balkridge scowled as he stalked towards the Muggle-side entrance to the Ministry of Magic. Ever since the Dark Lord had almost conquered Wizarding Britain, only to be stopped by that Potter bitch of all people, security had been upgraded immensely inside the Ministry. No more Floo'ing, no more Apparating in. Employees had to approach from one of the three entry points; the Muggle speaking radio, whatever they bloody called it, a public toilet or the one he himself was walking towards, which was in the stockroom of an underground bar.

This wasn't right. Wizards should be ruling the pathetic vermin that were Muggles, but instead stuck hiding like vermin themselves.

Catching sight of a local Muggle newspaper, Edmund at least gave a dark chuckle at the front page. A Muggle-made, non-magical Curse that had gone rampant in the Colonies.

So deep in his thoughts as he vaguely spied the bar he needed, Edmund never noticed the shadow that approached the mouth of the alley entrance he was about to cross until he was dragged in. Fury at being manhandled became shock at the sight of what occurred right in front of him. Which quickly became pain.


"Next."

"Next."

"Next."

"Alright, go on through."

A brisk nod was all the Auror got as Edmund Balkridge continued through to the Atrium and towards the lift.

"Ah, Madam Crawford, looking forward to another busy day?"

A head turned back to espy the mentioned Director, as a wand was fingered thoughtfully.


"Hold the lift!"

As one last body shuffled into the (thankfully) expandable car, a wand aimed itself straight at her hip.

The barely breathed whisper "Imperio," was lost amongst the clamour of coworkers greeting and chattering with one another.


"Ah, Crawford, how goes the search for Miss P- Balkridge, what are you doing?!" Minister Chippler began, only to interrupt herself when Edmund Balkridge walked in behind the misty-eyed Director of the Regulation of Magical Marriages Ministry Department and proceeded to not only lock the door magically, but silence the room.

Blinking rapidly, Crawford gazed around the office she found herself in, confused. One moment she'd been in the lift to her Department, and now she was in the Minister's office. Chippler noticed her confusion, and quickly came to the horrifying conclusion that Balkridge had Imperi-

"I'm sorry, but Balkridge isn't here at the moment," 'Edmund' said, before his robed body was momentarily covered with black, red and grey feelers that retracted to show someone in 'jeans', a 'hoodie' and a black leather jacket.

"But I can leave a message," Alex Mercer, the Blacklight virus codenamed Zeus, coldly finished. Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew an envelope that was tossed onto the Ministers desk. With a glare at the shocked leader, he said, "And if I see a single wand or hear a single peep," he flexed his arms at his sides and clenched his fists before spreading his fingers. The same tendrils that coated him earlier reappeared, thickly coating his arms from shoulder to the newly sprouted two-foot claws that replaced his fingers, the dull grey material shining with sinister intent in the lamplight.

Shaking hands picked up the envelope slowly, retrieving the letter within and unfolding it to read.


'Dear Minister, Department Head or whoever.

Who the hell do you think you are. I walked out of your shitty world to get away from this kind of bullshit. I mean, seriously, you wonder why there're more Dark Lord's coming from Britain than anywhere else? Take a good long look at yourselves and the fucked up laws you make and think. Though I suppose even if I were to spell it out, you wouldn't get the picture.

In any case, I've been in New York the last few months. You've undoubtedly met my boyfriend, despite this letter being meant for owl post. Alex, if you're still there, you're on your own for food for the next week.'


A brief pause as Chippler risked a glance up at Alex, just in time to catch a twitch in his eye. A muted grinding brought her attention to the 'thumb' of his right hand rubbing against the neighbouring index. Swallowing, she returned to the letter.


'Before you ask, yes; this is Alex Mercer, the same guy who tore up New York with a Muggle made supervirus that, and we have tested this extensively with cooperation from Alex and various corpses around the place, cannot be detected by Magic, so far as we know. You've probably seen Alex display his shapeshifting. Consider it a permanent Polyjuice that can be triggered. I'd say Metamorph, but the difference between the two is that Metamorphs always have their own original signature while Polyjuice mimics the targets'.

So my boyfriend is quite capable of, and willing to, walk in through the front door, abduct, kill, consume and replace whosoever he chooses, assassinate his target, and walk out again.

Oh, did I mention he gets everything from the people he consumes? Including memories and magical ability.

So, unless you want to suddenly become the Minister of a ghost world?

Leave. Me. The fuck.

ALONE.

Nicolea Potter

To be Mercer if I have any say.'


By the end of the letter, Minister Chippler was pale, sweating and shaking, as was Crawford. Though in Crawford's case, it was because Alex had her head in a caressing cage of claws. She could feel the strength the being holding her life had, and believed the letter immediately. Thus, compounding with the blank stare he was giving the letter, she came to the obvious solution.

"Minister, may I request that Miss Potter be taken off the Registry? Permanently?"

"Granted," Chippler answered immediately, watching as Crawford went limp in relief as Mercer lifted his hands away, before saying, "Now, Mister Mercer, if you could please inform Miss Potter that-"

The door swung open as Delores Umbridge stormed in, only to pause at the sight of Alex Mercer, his claws out, with a shaken and horrified Crawford and Chippler. The pause didn't last long.

"AUR-GUHRHK!"

Umbridge tried to call for the Auror's, only to find the clawed left hand of Alex Mercer buried deep into her gut. With a disgusted sneer on his face, he turned to the paling and greening women in the office, "Consider this your future if we're bothered again with this shit," before hauling and throwing the Toad up into the air while swinging his free arm around in a circle.

The result was Umbridge hitting the floor in multiple pieces from the angle of his claws carving their way through with barely any resistance, splitting bone with the ease of a knife through a fresh loaf of bread. Intestines, organs and blood splattered out through the grevious wounds separating her body.

Swallowing the bile back, Minister Chippler choked out through the door to the newly silent room beyond, "Auror Carsen, please escort Mister Mercer outside the Ministry. And get someone in to clean this... spill."

Alex merely smirked coldly.


"So... you think they... got... the message?"

Nicolea panted as she gazed down at her boyfriend with lidded eyes.

"Yeah, I'd say so," replied Alex, a breathless chuckle entwined with his words before he pulled her back down for a kiss. A squeal in her throat told him she liked what he'd just done lower down.

Hey, as a supervirus, he may not need human food, but her cooking was too damn delicious to give up without a fight.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Phoenix Paladin. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Phoenix Paladin: The following is a crossover between Harry Potter and Prototype, and is inspired by TerrorPain, so a shout out to them, please!

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bones belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 414

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #93
Submitted By: deathraptor22
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

The existence of a world where magic actually exists and is practiced by the inhabitants of said world has recently come to the attention of us here as the Jeffersonian, and due to the reason, it has also come to our attention that there are some matters I believe we need to discuss:

  1. You must know that that agents Booth and Aubrey took no pleasure in what they were forced to do to your operatives- I believe according to Ms. Granger they're called aruors- but they attacked us and agents Booth and Aubrey had to defend the institution and those inside it.
  2. On that note, I don't know how things work on your side of the pound, but here authorities cannot just snatch someone off the street- or in this case from their workplace- without a warrant or probable cause and foreign bodies are most certainly not allowed to do so.
  3. Also on that note, bullets apparently beat magic.
  4. If you ever send anybody to collect our newest intern, who you know as one Ms. Hermione Granger, it will not work out so well for that poor person. The best case scenario is that they will be looking at criminal charges. The worst case scenario is that Dr. Hodgins- who has become very protective of Ms. Granger since she healed his legs- has finished whatever he's been working on in the lab that he claims will be lethal to wizard kind.
  5. Although she finds your marriage law as ludicrous and barbaric as I did, Dr. Brennan is interested in it from an anthropological standpoint and would like to come to England to study it further.

With Regards,

Dr. Camille Saroyan


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by deathraptor22. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Supernatural belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 417

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #94
Written By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

NO you can not have Hailey Potter for your marriage law. She is my girlfriend and destined soul mate, so she is off limits to all of you pompous windbags back in England who think they can force her to marry someone of your chosing, when she is already spoken for, by powers far more powerful and greater than you people ever will be.

I really don't like using my birth fathers titles since it causes me all kinds of troubles, but as the only son of Lucifer, who is also known throughout the world as The Devil, Light Bringer, The Morning Star, and Satan, I will not idly stand by and let you take whats mine, without bringing down the gates of Hell upon all of you.

No I am not some kind of a crazy person making things up about who my father is. But if you truly want to tempt fate and ignore my warnings about who I say I am related to, I say go right ahead, but I advise your souls to be prepared to spend eternity burning in the Infernal Pit afterwards.

I dare all of you to send more of your auror force here to just try and kidnap Hailey and I assure you that you won't like the consequences, if I have to come over there to your backwater little society and deal with you myself, especially with the mood I am currently in thanks to your letter.

Hailey along with my foster dads all agree with me, that they will help in taking down as many of you as we can, and we will ship the remains in teeny, tiny boxes back to you.

Sincerely,

Jack Morningstar-Winchester-Novak


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol I was bored and decided to finaly do the letter that started the whole Marriage Law Rejection Letter mess. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default/Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 401

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #95
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

Matsuo Arrior and Matsuo Geneolgia were both out on a mission for their Captain when a couple owls flew by and dropped off a pair of 'Marriage Proposals' and warnings from the British Ministry of Magic about 'not complying' and 'loss of Gringotts Vaults'.

Both lads sigh at this and write back while they camped for the night.

The next morning, after they woke up and had gotten ready for the day, they left the letter where an owl may pick it up, and continued on their mission.

An owl later swooped down to the former camp site and picked up the Matsuo twins responses and returned to its Homeworld.


The gathering of the Wizengamot the following week was in an uproar.

"How dare they refuse us! We're his betters! We're his Superiors!"

"That's just it, isn't it?" snarks a former friend of Harry Potter "Harry is no longer Harry, but is Matsuo Arrior and Matsuo Geneolgia! THEY are out of your reach, and whatever Vaults that they may have at Gringotts may have a Branch where ever they are."

"Preposterous!"

"Absurd!"

"Gringotts is purely a BRITISH Bank!"

"To quote a Muggle Moving Picture Show: 'BUZZ! WRONG!' Gringotts has branches all around the world!"

"LIES!"

"Oh? Then why don't you ask William Weasley who works there? Or his wife Fluer?"

"A Blood Traitor and a Veela? HA!"

"After the wars that we've had, and Harry's disappearance, you still want to go there? The Marriage laws is Hippogriff Dung, and you all know it!"


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: The Matsuo twins are sick of the letters.. Especially when they arrive during missions.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 285

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #96
Submitted By: Aurora Nightstar
===============================

To the ministry of morons,

When I first heard of the new marriage law in the Daily Prophet, I thought for sure it had to be a joke. It was reported by Rita Skeeter after all. Most of what she says should in no way be taken seriously. Imagine my shock when I actually found out it was true.

I am already married, till death do we part. Thankfully, you will not be able to impose this law on me. In light of this new law, I am the lucky one because I don't have to flee the country, go to Azkaban, nor submit to your stupid marriage law and marry whatever idiot you picked for me. I am dying and will probably already be dead by the time you find me.

I wish that you would all burn in hell.

Sincerely,

Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy

PS: You cannot have my husband, not even over my dead body. He will not submit to this either.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Aurora Nightstar. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 224

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #97
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Weak Mortals,

Leave my mate alone! She's already married to me and is not on Earth anymore, and she says she does not want to go and be with any of your weak mortals that you want her to marry.

Miss Potter is the only person that I like and her food is so delicious and I won't let you hurt her and since she said she doesn't want me to destroy the planet, then I will destroy the entire British Ministry if you try to kidnap from Lord Beerus, the God Of Destruction of Universe 7.



This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 180

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #98
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear People Of Earth Of Universe 7,

My masters name is not Harry Potter, nor do I know anyone of that name. His name is Grand Zeno, I don't know how these birds keep coming since he's in a different reality from Universe 7. But anyway I'm preparing a tournament for my master so please cease.

From,

The Grand Priest


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default/Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 483

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #99
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

Luxendarc: Home of The Crystal Guard and two of its brightest and best Knights: The MATSUO TWINS!

Their bravery and their own individual accomplishments seemingly rival those of their respective parents (Yew and Magnolia Geneolgia, and Tiz and Agnes Arrior).. And yet.. Despite all of their adventures, mishaps, and rapid Asterix leveling..

The Matsuo Arrior and Matsuo Geneolgia are STILL plagued by the incessant bombardment of British Ministry of Magic Marriage Law Letters!

OH.. *chuckles* Do you recall what that "friend of Harry's" mentioned last time about Gringotts having branches virtually everywhere?

HE WAS RIGHT! HEE!

In nearly all of the populated areas on Luxendarc, and on the Moon (surprisingly), the is a Branch of Gringotts.. And it was in the branch in Norende that the Matsuo Twins found out about the Potter, Black, and other vaults bequeathed to them before, and after "Harry" disappeared from Earth.

With their Parents, and Crystal Guard Superiors', assistance, Matsuo Arrior and Matsuo Geneolgia were not only able to transfer ALL of their properties, items, monies, etcetera to the Gringotts of Luxendarc, but they were also able to send a Special package to the British MoM.

The package? Well.. Let's just say that whomever was at the ministry at the time it was opened is no longer there.. Nor is the building it was in, nor the 'condemned' buildings surrounding it.

To the Mundane of London, and the world at large, it was a Terrorist attack, but to the Magical side of things?

THE END OF ZA WARUDO!

After all.. The majority of 'Well meaning citizens' worked at the Ministry.

By the way.. Certain "Blood Traitors, half Bloods, etcetera" were NOT working that day. why? Because they were fired not long after the outburst of Harry's supporter.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: (response to letter #97) *blinks* Whoa.. Aurora.. Wow! Just.. WOW! and pretty much correct, in my opinion.

Draco wouldn't stand for it, and Astoria is dying from one thing or another (or she is exaggerating for effect) so what the Ministry thinks/wants to do about it is moot.

Hmm... Do I have any other ideas for rejection letters?

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Steven Universe belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,150

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #100
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To The Incompetent Douchebags Of The Ministry Of Magic Of The U.K.,

The first thing I want to say right now to your absurd demand that I ‘come back home’ to take part in your equally absurd marriage law, is no way in hell. As far as I am concerned, all of you can die out slowly and painfully before I will submit myself to this farce of a marriage law. I left your society over eight years ago after the war with Voldemort ended to get away from this nonsense, and I refuse to come back to become a broodmare to some stuck up snob of a pureblood man, that I do not want or even love.

Besides that, thanks to my uncle, there is no way in bloody hell that I will allow any man touch me in that way for any reason. I simply don't swing that way and never will just so you people can use my families’ genetic genepool to ‘repopulate’ the magical world. I am currently in a loving relationship with a beautiful lady named Pearl who I have no intention of leaving, who right now isn't pleased about your attempts to take me away from her either.

Even if I did swing that way, I still wouldn't do it because its not worth it as far as I am concerned. It’s one of the disadvantages of being the newly instated Mistress of Death, is that I basically will outlive my would be husband and any kids that we might have. I can’t die or physically grow older than what I currently look like. Trust me when i say I've already tested that 'can't die' theory out multiple times with very little success of staying dead no matter what, which is one of the reasons I left to begin with.

Pearl is just as 'special' as I am, and I am grateful to have met someone like her and her family, who I know will always be with me for all eternity no matter how many years go by for all of us for as long as they wil allow me stay with them..

So ever so kindly stop bothering me about something that is never going to happen. Plus you can take your threat of having me arrested and having all of my families’ vaults and my properties siezed for my refusal, and shove it up your rears. I dissolved my citizenship to England years ago when I moved to my current location and became a legalized citizen over here, so you have no authority over me anymore to punish me for disobeying a law made in a country I do not have citizenship anymore.

Then again, I changed my mind about my vaults. You can go ahead and have my British vaults I don’t need them anymore and I’m sure the goblins will be glad to be rid of them if they let you have them. Not that they'll do you any good, seeing how back when I left years ago, I had the genius forsight to ask the goblins to empty out all of my vaults of everything except for 100 galleons, 50 sickles, and 25 knuts in each of my eight vaults, and I also had the goblins transfer everything else oversees to a branch Gringotts bank where I currently live. So go wild spending the leftovers.

Go ahead and throw a hissy fit on this matter because it won't change a thing. You still won't get any of my families belongings. Youcan't even accuse me of breaking your little marriage law by doing this since I did it way before your law even existed, and there were no pre-existing laws around back then forbidding me from doing so either, so I had every legal right to do whatever I wish with my money and different properties that my family owns when I left the country and the transfer is irreversible unless I agree to it.

Too bad, so sad. Everything that you were expecting to find in my old vaults is no longer there, and after paying a hefty sum in protection fees to my new bank, everything is now under tighter and stricter higher priority security, so I wish all of you good luck in trying to get them to hand over my money without a fight. Push the matter and you'll get returned home in pieces for attempted theft.

Seras Iolite Potter

(Soon to be Universe if darling Pearl has her way)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Hey would anyone be willing to do a sequel to this letter, with a letter written by Pearl maybe and the others? lol I'd love to see what the Crystal Gems and Stevens response to Pearl possibly losing Seras.

Plus if anyone is wondering about the level of how much she CAN'T die no matter WHAT happens to her, a prime example to describe how the power works is using the infamous Cheerleader from the show called Heroes and her inability to die. lol For those of you who’ve seen the series, do you remember all of the 'tests' she ran on herself in the beginning after first discovering her new ability. The kind of 'tests' that would have instantly killed her if it wasn't for her power. I think her Death Count was almost in the hundreds when she was forced to stop by her government official dad when he discovered her power and what she was doing with it.

What do you think of the names I gave female Harry? In the cartoon Mystery Girl signed her note to Pearl simply with the letter 'S' in her name, which is why I picked Seras as a first name. lol while the 'Iolite' name is her middle name, but it is also a gem name. The Iolite gem also has a second name which is Cordierite. The idea hit me and wouldn't leave me every time I watch the episode with her in it, especially with those green eyes of hers.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Teen Titans belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 394

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #101
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To The Bungling Morons Of Earths British Magical World,

If you Earthlings value your continued existence in the universe, you will hereby remove my husband from your pitiful ‘marriage law’ before I lead my armies over there and wipe you off the face of the planet! He is not available to be married off to some weak little witch girl, when he can instead have a REAL woman in the likes of ME.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I do not ‘share’ what I consider to be mine, nor shall I quietly abide by any attempts at theft of what is mine. Harry Potter is one of the few things on this waste of a planet that I tolerate that makes living here on this miserable planet barable, and I shall not stand idly by and do nothing while you take him from me.

The only reason that I am not leading my armies against you now, is because Harry has pled for you bufoons cause, and I have decided to give you people ONE chance to take my husband out of your law and to never bother us again, before I make a call home and lead an army of my finest Tamaran soldiers to your society and wipe you off the face of the universe!

Queen Komand’r ‘Blackfire’ Potter of Planet Tamaran


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

If anyone is wondering, the version of Queen Komand’r-Blackfire who Harry is married to is the original, sexy super model version that both Blackfire and Starfire are SUPPOSED to look like and not those scrawny, creepy cartoon versions they use instead. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Animaniacs belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 299

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #102
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

Hellooo British Magical Morons!

How did you get your be-a-u-tee-full nocturnal birds into our water tower?

Why are you trying to contact our Cousin Potero about some stupid Marriage laws?

I mean.. EWWWWW! We’re only kids after all.. (At least in the eyes of our adoring puplic.. But we digress.)

Do you Don Knots? Danny Kaye? J.K. Rrrowling? HELLOOO STORY WRITER NURSE!

Aaaaanyway... Didn’t you guys know that Cousin Potero hasn’t been a member of your society since.. when was it again?

Nineteen Eighty Seven when the Zoo known as the Dursleys left me here in the Tower after a tour.

Yeah.. so.. No dice.

No cards.

No... Time to waste on games of the heart!

Nobody believes in what you’re trying to pull anyway.

SO STOP SENDING THE LETTERS!

Signed:

Yakko, Wakko, Potero, & Dot

The Warner Family!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: Yeah.. this one is based off of the Animaniacs. It’s the best that I could come up with without going back to an arc that I finished.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bendy And The Ink Machine belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 200

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #103
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Human Wizards,

I’m no longer a human. I haven’t been human in years. Because of some accidental magic, I became a toon and I have been living with my new family in Joey Drew Studios.

My new family consists of the toons known as Bendy the Dancing Demon, Boris the Wolf, and my beautiful wife, Alice the Angel, so stop sending those letters cause I’m not leaving her.

From,

Harry Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Hotel Transylvania belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 607

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #104
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================


(Screams of horror, along with the sounds of people vomiting, filled the Ministry of Magics offices as the dismembered heads of six missing Hit Wizards and Aurors who had been sent out on a retrieval mission just over a week ago were now discovered in a crate that had been abandoned in the Ministrys atrium, with the forever frozen terror filled expression on the faces of the heads impaled on sharp poles and their dismembered body parts laid out the bottom of the box, as a blood soaked letter was discovered pinned to one of the heads)


To The Incompetent Mortal Wizards of Magical England:

Unless you wish to declare war with the Dracula family for attempting to kidnap a member of our clan in order for him to take part in this ridiculous ‘marriage law’, you will cease all attempts to take back Harry James Potter if you know whats good for your pathetic society.

Kindly consider the condition of your former employees corpses you’re your only warning to what will happen if you chose to persist in this matter of trying to reclaim Harry James Potter.

Harry James Potter has been a member of the the Dracula family for the last six years after he married me, and I will not hand him over to you foolish mortals to force him into marriage to someone else when he already has me as his wife and mate after we Zinged with each other six years ago.

If you wizards need a simpler explaination to what Zinging is, I believe you wizards would call ‘Zinging’ a soul mate bond, which is unbreakable even by your pathetic laws, and is highly illegal to break anyway and is punishable by death to the guilty parties trying to break up the Zinged couple.

For a human wizard, I must say that Harry is the best thing that has come into my immortal life, and I won’t allow you to take him from me. If you chose to ignore this letters warning, I swear that there will be nowhere that you pitiful mortals in the ministry who were responsible for this absurd laws creation can possibly hope to hide before I will hunt each of you who down and kill you, but not before I make you watch as I kill everyone you love in front of you.

Cordially yours,

Countess Lydia Tepia Dracula-Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Yes I’m being evil by having, Harry be married to Aunt Lydia from the TV series version of Hotel Transylvania. I figured old sourpuss aunt Lydia needs some love too. lol Especially since the previews for Hotel Transylvania 3 show the familys not ‘too old’ to still Zing, even if they already did it before. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 259

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #105
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

Ministry Morons!

HOW DARE YOU SEND ME, HADRIAN ALEXANDER DARIAN RYUU IGOR AARON NEXUS, A MANDATORY MARRIAGE LETTER!

*sighs* First of all: I’ve not lived in YOUR dimension since I was two years old.

Secondly: I’m not, as you would call it, “Human“ any more.. therefore I am ineligible to marry ANYONE from your realm!

Thirdly: Shortly after your *chuckles* Owls arrived, they did.. not.. survive.. for.. long! In fact... a good majority of them were consumed by the local predators BEFORE we were able to retrieve the ridiculous letters that you’ve sent to me.

Aaaannnnnnddddd lastly... Your society is soooo anachronistic that it makes our historians and history class students cringe.

See you never!

H.A.D.R.I.A.N.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: This one doesn’t have a set universe. It is considered AU regardless. :)

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default-Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 223

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #106
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

To the Ministry of Magical Morons,

You’ve hounded my father and my uncle for years about this, and now you are bothering ME?

Jeez! You guys need to get a life!

How did you even..? Never mind.. I don’t want to know.

I’m not going to Earth, let alone your STILL backwards society for ANY reason.

You didn’t get my family, and you’re not getting me.

Never yours,

Jack Rose Geneolgia


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: That’s riiiight! Another Rejection letter from Luxendarc! Albeit from a few years in the future from the last one.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Thor belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 176

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #107
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Human Magic Users Of Midgard

Please stop sending my wife so many letters. She’s already married to me and doesn’t want to marry anyone else.

My brother, Loki, and I will fight all of you to protect her. So leave my wife, Hermione Granger, alone.

From,

Crown Prince Of Asgard

Thor Odinson


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Disney’s Aladdin belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 175

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #108
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Magic Users,

Please stop hounding my wife with so many letters. I don’t like sharing what is mine, and won’t hesitate to kill the next messager bird that comes here.

She was the only person I liked, who I can tolerate, and she said that she will only be with me if I gave up my plans to take over Agrabah, so I did and made a wish with the Genie to make my own kingdom with Harriet Potter as my queen.

From,

Sultan Jafar


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and High School DxD belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 364

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #109
Submitted By: Go0gleplex
===============================

Dear Ministry of Inferior Magic,

Regarding your annoying demands for one cute mahou shoujo Hermione Granger to return to magical England to be married off to some no good dummy with delusions of adequacy. Not going to happen. No no no. Hermione is my cute little pawn now and is far too helpful for me to let her go. Besides, she looks really cute in her new costume too and now has a far better magic wand that those boring old sticks you silly human wizards use.

So your Wizengamot can all forget about her coming back to your world to be nothing more than a baby factory because it is not going to happen in my lifetime. Which as it happens is by far longer than any of yours as is hers after becoming my cute little servant. Tee hee.

But, if you decide to be bad little wizards and be so foolish as to try to take her by force then I will simply have no choice but to demonstrate the wrath of the Maou Shoujo Levi-tan on your insignificant backwater little country which will probably render it lifeless before I am done sparkling all over it.

So ta ta and have a nice day you naughty old snooty wizards.

Without love and kisses,

Maou Serafall Leviathan

P.S. You all should really get some better costumes too. Those robes you fuddy duddies all wear are positively AWFUL!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Go0gleplex. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,360

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #110
Submitted By: Go0gleplex
===============================

(The Wizengamot members were gathered for their usual winter session deep within the Ministry for Magic. Several heated and many not so heated conversations were quietly occurring in the background as the Chief Warlock rattled through the opening ceremony for the session while others simply took the opportunity to catch a short nap. All of this was brought to an abrupt halt as a strange metal golem with an overly large sphere for a head appeared in a flash of light accompanied by a hair raising tearing sound.

The now silent and fully awake membership of Magical England’s governing body stared in stunned silence as the golem looked around, its glowing green ‘eyes’ passing over each in turn before resting upon the Chief Warlock and the Minister for Magic.)


“Oh wonderful.” the golem moaned in a rather gloomy and pained voice. “Here I am with the brain the size of a planet and I get sent to be a messenger to a group of humans too primitive to understand speech. Typical.”

AHghhhhem,” came the sound of the Chief Warlock clearing his throat. “But what manner of creature are you and how did you manage to apparate through the Ministry wards?”

“Ha. He thinks I’m a creature.” Sighed the golem. “My name is Marvin. A robot, something I would try to explain if I did not already know it would be useless to try. Sort of like teaching monkeys to sing.”

“What is a ‘robot‘ and who sent you?” The Minister of Magic asked before anyone else could reply.

Doesn’t matter.” Marvin moped. “I was sent by the President of the Galaxy pro-tem Harry Potter in response to some silly law while the actual President is off on vacation with his other head.”

“Harry Potter!” the assembled members of the Wizengamot exclaimed in shouts and shocked voices.

President of the Galaxy pro-tem!? Probably just some stunt to use to shirk his duties to the people of Magical Britain.” Scoffed Lord Nott with a sneer while the rest of Wizengamot devolved into a cacophony of chaos only to be interrupted by a loud cannon blast from the Chief Warlock.

“Now that all are silent,” intoned the Chief Warlock, “maybe we can hear the message that this Marvin the Robot brings to us from Lord Potter.”

On the floor below the balconies Marvin simply muttered to himself about overestimating the intelligence of those gathered and having grossly insulted monkeys before the room was returned to silence and the Chief Warlock’s inquiry to the message he had.

“Just remember I am just the messenger, even if I do have a planet sized brain, not that will likely stop you from shooting me or whatever it is you lot do.” Marvin said sulked. With that, a bright beam of light was projected out from Marvin’s head and an image of Harry James Potter appeared, dressed in robes that would have had the late Albus Dumbledore green with envy (and most people with an actual sense for fashion fleeing in horror).


“Hello and greetings to all you Wizengamot and Ministery hoopy wankers!” The image of Potter cheerfully said with a wave. “I’ve sent Marvin here with this message to tell you lot of pretentious ignorant fossils that you can take your Marriage Law and its requirements and wait for a Bartledannian to breathe!

You will immediately cease and desist from implementing this law and move to strike it from your books within the ten minutes immediately following the cessation of this missive. Failure to do so will bring dire consequences.” Harry stated with an ominously deep voice before immediately returning to his cheerful demeanor. “Well. That’s all I had to say, so good-bye, farewell, and never drink a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster while under the effects of polyjuice!”


And with that, the light image winked out. The chamber returned to silence for a mere moment before the outraged shouts of the Wizengamot members filled the air. It was nearly five minutes before order could be restored and the Minister for Magic ask Marvin the obvious question.

So, Mr. Marvin…” began the Minister.

“It’s just Marvin. No mister. No sir. No nothing. Just Marvin.” The robot interrupted in a morose tone. “We robots are not programmed to have egos or anything like that to worry about. Even if I am more intelligent than most life in this galaxy.”

“Ummm… yes.” Responded the Minister a bit uncomfortably. “Lord Potter referred to dire consequences if we did not acquiesce to his demands. What might this threat entail?”

“Poetry.” Marvin said in a dull monotone. “VOGON Poetry to be precise.”

POETRY!?“ Screamed one of the sitting Lords. “That brat threatens us with poetry! Absurd! I move that we send Aurors to apprehend Potter at once for trial on charges of sedition.”

SECONDED!“ cried out another of the sitting Lords.

“You now have less than two minutes remaining to comply with President pro-tem Potter’s conditions, not that I think you will listen. After all. I’m only a robot. Nobody listens to robots. Especially me.” Marvin stated before trailing off in a muted mutter.

Of course he was right. None of the sitting Lords, the Chief Warlock, or the Minister of Magic listened to him, so caught up in their angry rhetoric and arguments about the freshly made motion.

“I really hate this. Why did it have to be me?” Marvin groused. “Oh well. May as well get it over with.”

And with that, Marvin adjusted the volume of his speakers to maximum and began to recite the famous Vogon poem “Ode To A Rushing Blatherskippen And Its Koopit“, drowning out the heated discourse of the humans in the chamber. Within minutes the angry shouting had changed to groans and screams of agony as the humans in the chamber tried silencing spells on Marvin and themselves to no avail. Anything and everything was tried to stop the heinous torture that the robot was subjecting them to without success. Luckily the poem was only two hundred and fifty three verses long and ended after an hour.

So.” Marvin asked in a somber voice. “Are you going to capitulate to President pro-tem Potter’s demands or do I start the next poem? I guess I should warn you, not that I think you will listen, that there are over ten thousand similar poems in my data banks which should take me approximately nine point three Earth years to fully recite, not that you are actually interested.”

Above, the Chief Warlock and the Minister of Magic both staggered to their feet, their faces a mess of bodily fluids and stated in tandem, “WE SURRENDER! No more! We beg of you!”

It took nearly an hour for the gathered Wizengamot to repeal the law and strike it from their books permanently. Most of that time was spent reviving and restoring the gathered Lords to something resembling a functional state. A condition some may argue to have never before been achieved.

As soon as the repeal was signed and sealed, Marvin vanished in the same flash of light and tearing noise that he arrived in, never to be seen again.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Go0gleplex. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Go0gleplex: I really did not intend to do a second one...but that dang plot bunny bit me before I even had breakfast.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Supernatural belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 277

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #111
Submitted By: Katzztar
===============================

To whomever, because I don’t care who,

Concerning your letter demanding Violet “Potter” to comply with this stupid marriage law; It will not happen!

Violet will not be divorcing her current husband simply because you pathetic monkeys didn’t approve of their marriage. She will not... just how did you word it... ah yes, “dispose of offspring from unauthorized unions”.

Violet is already married to my son, Jack Kline, and they are expecting their first child. You will NEVER touch this child! I missed out on raising my son, I will not miss a chance of having grandchildren! They are making the way to restore angels.

I will not tolerate you making foolish threats against the next generation of new angels.

Try something I dare you, I will have the Heavenly Host smite you.

Eagerly awaiting the bloodshed,

Lucifer Morningstar

Archangel of the Morning

Father of Demons

Former King of Hell

2nd King of Heaven


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Katzztar. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Kamen Rider belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 804

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #112
Submitted By: IceBite
===============================

Masamune’s initial letter

Magically Translated from Japanese

Ministry of Magic
Concealed Location
London, United Kingdom

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Repeatedly, my company building has been visited by your ‘aurors‘ looking for one Potter, Jocelin. As has been pointed out to them, and will now be pointed out to you, there is no ‘Potter, Jocelin’ here... she adopted the name ‘Dan Jocelin’ when she agreed to marry my son.

When my wife died, and Jocelin appeared, she became my family’s rock, and halted our spiral into darkness: without her, my son and I...I shiver at the thought of what we might have become…

It is thanks to her that I remain in charge of Genm Corporation, while my son and his partner, Hojo Emu, continue making games, while Mr Hojo also leads the Cyberbrain Room division of the Ministry of Health.

She also single-handedly helped save our city when Zero Day struck, as she aided Mr. Hanaya Taiga in stopping the Graphite Bugster, who, in the end, defected to our side, while being separated from his host. Yes, we have Bugsters aiding us, four to be exact.

She has also been helping us with our Project Chronicle and Kamen Rider Projects, having helped us discover that your ‘magic‘ makes for an excellent substitute for a Bugster Virus or Compatibility Surgery for our Kamen Rider gear, even negating the negative effects a Proto Gashat has on the body for the person. Furthermore, she has helped myself and my son with our own subprojects of the Kamen Rider Project, successfully aiding us in making our own gear.

Ever since she came into our lives, she has been the glue keeping CR together, and the person preventing the Dan Family from falling to darkness. And I will be damned before I will let you take her away from us!

Should you continue to harass my company AND my family, we will have no choice but to assault your Ministry. And do not think that our nation’s Ministry will aid you; they have tired of your intrusions and have agreed to look the other way should we choose to retaliate.

So, you have been warned: stay away from Jocelin, or my family, CR, and I will remove you Ministry from print with our own hands!

(Not so) Cordially,

Dan Masamune
President of Genm Corporation
chroniclegamer genmcorp . co . jp


Jocelin’s Follow-Up Letter

Dear Ministry of Incompetent Morons,

You’re lucky Kuroto’s not writing any of these letters; his fake God Complex is cute, but when directed at someone else, can scare them. I have no interest in returning to Britain, I much too enjoy my work as the liaison between Magical Japan, the CR, and Genm Corporation, as well as the projects I’m helping Genm Corporation with. I’m sure my Father-in-Law described some of the more publically-known ones…

One he DIDN’T tell you about, probably, was the (Japanese Ministry-sanctioned) intermingling of Magic and Gashat Technology, making a truly Magic Gashat. Keep up with trying to drag me back there, and I WILL return...to give that Gashat some field testing…

Dan Jocelin
formerly Jocelin Potter
Liaison between the Japanese Ministry of Magic, the Cyberbrain Room, and Genm Corporation
magicalgamer genmcorp . co . jp


Kuroto’s ‘Final Warning‘ Letter

Magically Translated from Japanese

Ministry of Magic
Concealed Location
London, United Kingdom

Dear Ministry of Inferior Peons,

I am starting to get REALLY annoyed with your attempts at taking my wife. She has been the only thing keeping my father and I from going off the deep end, and was a LIFESAVER with my projects for Genm Corporation. It’s thanks to her that Genm Corporation is the Number 1 developer of Video Games in the entire world, both Muggle AND Magical (you can thank her for the latter).

Now, this is your LAST warning! Leave us alone, or I shall smite you from existence myself!

Dan Kuroto
Liaison between Genm Corporation and the Cyberbrain Room
Lead Project Director of Genm Corporation
godmaxgamer genmcorp . co . jp


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by IceBite. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Kamen Rider belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,362

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #113
Submitted By: IceBite
Sequel to: Letter #112
===============================

Consequences

A week later, the Wizengamot was discussing ways they could raid the Genm Corp. building to simply kidnap Jocelin Potter (they refused to acknowledge her as ‘Jocelin Dan’ or ‘Dan Jocelin’ or whatever the ‘Muggles’ wanted them to). Not everyone agreed with this course of action, but dissenters were forced into silence, as the higher-ups schemed. However, as they planned…

*KA-BOOM!*

The Wizengamot turned as a wall was blown inward, with 12 people walking through. All of them but one had some kind of field around them akin to, but different from, magic. It felt...foreign, and infectious, especially on 4 of them, who were practically made of the energy. The one exception, however, was definitely magical...they were also Jocelin Potter herself.

“And who are all of you?” the leader of the Wizengamot demanded.

The aging man leading the group declared, “You forget who I am already, do you? After all, I sent you that letter a week ago…”

“And I sent the next letter a couple days later…” Jocelin added.

Kuroto then spoke. “And then my letter just a couple days ago!”

Masamune continued, “Letters you all ignored... We’re here to make good on my family’s threat…” He turned. “Now...is everyone ready?”

The group acknowledged, and began pulling out devices, which all of them except two fixed to their waists.

“Buggle Driver Zwei!” (x3)

“Gashacon Bugvisor!” (x1)

“Gamer Driver!” (x7)

Masamune, Poppy, and Kiriya produced Gashacon Bugvisor Zweis and affixed them to their waists.

Meanwhile, Graphite produced his own Gashacon Bugvisor, while pulling out some kind of handle.

Finally Emu, Hiiro, Taiga, Kuroto, Parado, Black Parado, and (to the Ministry’s surprise) Jocelin drew and put on their Gamer Drivers.

Nico, meanwhile, produced…

“Kamen Rider Chronicle! (Dramatic music)”

A Kamen Rider Chronicle Ride-Player Gashat

“It’s time for Judgement,” Masamune declared.

“I’ll change Jocelin’s fate with my own two hands!” Emu added.

“To your Ministry’s existence, I say no thank you,” Hiiro commented.

“Game Start!” Nico declared.

The rest of the group (except Graphite) began drawing Gashats.

Dan Masamune: “Kamen Rider Chronicle! (Dramatic music)”

Poppy Pipopapo: “Toki Meki Crisis! (funky techno music)”

Kujo Kiriya: “Giri Giri Chambara! (Shamisen strum)”

Dan Kuroto: “God Maximum Mighty X! (Dramatic choral music)”

Hojo Emu: “Maximum Mighty X! (Upbeat dramatic techno-rock music)/Hyper Muteki! (Upbeat techno-rock guitar riff with techno-angelic tune)”

Kagami Hiiro: “Taddle Legacy! (Medieval-Styled Orchestrated Classical Music)”

Hanaya Taiga: “Bang Bang Simulations!”

Dan Jocelin: “Mighty Action X!/Magic the Wizard! (WizarDriver post-transformation sound)”

Those with Buggle Driver Zweis activated their devices, their Drivers producing standby music. Everyone with Gashats then inserted them into their drivers.

“Gashat!/Maximum Gashat-Docking! Maximum Gashat!/Dual Gashat!”

Kuroto then pulled the lever on his own Driver.

“Gachan! Fu~met~su!”

The Wizengamot members looked at each other, some of them trying to leave, only for the doorways to be clogged by...what appeared to be people with orange rubber turkeys on their heads, wearing a diverse range of outfits.

They then turned back as the Standby Music for those that had it played.

“(Looping upbeat techno-angelic tune with rock guitar riff)”

“I ready for Battleship! (upbeat military styled music) I ready for Battleship! (upbeat military styled music)”

“Saijoukyuu no Kami no Sainou! Kuroto Dan! Kuroto Dan! Saijoukyuu no Kami no Sainou! Kuroto Dan! Kuroto Dan!”

“The Strongest Fist! What’s the next stage? (Looping upbeat heavy metal to upbeat techno, hip-hop music) The Strongest Fist! What’s the next stage? (Looping upbeat heavy metal to upbeat techno, hip-hop music)”

“The Strongest Fist! What’s the next stage? (Looping upbeat heavy metal to upbeat techno, hip-hop music) The Strongest Fist! What’s the next stage? (Looping upbeat heavy metal to upbeat techno, hip-hop music)”

Then…

“Hyper Dai-”

“Skill Level 100…”

“Tactics No. 50.”

“Grade Billion…”

“Max Dai-”

“Max Dai-”

“Year 3-”

“HENSHIN!/Baiyo!”

...They activated their drivers.

“Buggle Up! Ten wo Tsukame Rider! (Wow!) Kizame Chronicle! Ima koso Toki wa Kiwamareri! (Wow!)”

“Buggle Up! Dreaming Girl!(Wow!) Koi no Simulation! Otome wa itsumo Toki Meki Crisis! (Wow!)”

“Buggle Up! Giri-Giri-Giri-Giri (Wow!) Chambara (Wow!)”

“Infection! Let’s Game! Bad Game! Dead Game! What’s your name?! The Bugster!”

“Bakkan! Mu~te~ki~! Kagayake~! Ryuusei no Gotoku~! Ougon no Saikyou Ga~mer~! Hyper Muteki Ex-Ai~d! (Angelic chorus mixed with upbeat techno-rock guitar riff)”

“Gachan! Level Up! (Medieval-Styled Orchestrated Classical Music) Tadoru Rekishi! Mezameru Kishi! Taddle Legacy~!”

“Gachan! Dual Up! Scramble da! Shutsugeki Hasshin! Bang Bang Simulations! (militaristic music) Hasshin!”

“God Maximum X!”

“Gachan! Mazaru Up! Akai kobushi tsuyosa! Aoi Puzzle rensa! Aka to ao no kousa! Perfect Knock Out! (Upbeat heavy metal mixed with upbeat techno, hip-hop music)”

“Gachan! Mazaru Up! Aku no kobushi tsuyosa! Yami no puzzle rensa! Ashiki yami no ouza! Perfect Knock Out! (Upbeat heavy metal mixed with upbeat techno, hip-hop music)”

“Gachan! Level up! Mighty Jump! Mighty Kick! Migh~ty Actio~n X! A Gacha! Do-Do-Drago! Ra-Ra-Ra-Rise! Flame! Water! Hurricane! Land! All Dragon! (Drago Knight Hunter Z-styled Song)”

“(Techno music) Enter the Game! Ri-Riding the End!”

Then, the Riders made their declarations.

Kamen Rider Cronus: “I shall remove your ministry from print with my own two hands!”

Kamen Rider Poppy: “I won’t let you hurt anyone else!”

Kamen Rider Lazer: “Now we’re revving it up!”

Guren Graphite: “I’m the dragon warrior of Drago Knight Hunter Z, Graphite! That is the reason I fight.”

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid: “I’ll clear this with No Continues!

Kamen Rider Brave:Commencing Wizard Removal Operation!”

Kamen Rider Snipe: “Mission Start!”

Kamen Rider Genm: “I’ll clear this even if it means using continues!”

Kamen Rider Para-DX: “My heart’s dancing.”

Kamen Rider Another Para-DX:My heart’s racing!”

Ride-Player Nico: “We’ll play the game until the end!”

Kamen Rider MagiGenm:I will decide my own fate!”

At that point, the Wizenagamot knew

...They done effed up...


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by IceBite. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from IceBite: Hope you enjoyed my little thing here…

A few notes: the reason everyone (who has one) is using a Final Form is because, part of Jocelin’s interference is the fact that, thanks to her, everyone’s Final Form (and/or Super Form) Gashats ended up made anyways, as contingencies, in case something like Zero Day happens again. As for why Jocelin is using ‘Magic the Wizard’, two reasons. One: It’s a Magic-Based Game, which makes sense for her to use as she’s a Wizard. Two: It’s a Genm form, and since she’s marrying Kuroto… … …

As for why Kuroto has God Maximum Mighty X...I initially was gonna do Dangerous Zombie (and in this scene’s story, he DOES have it), I just... REALLY wanted to use God Maximum Mighty X. My in-universe reason is that, in this universe, Kuroto doesn’t ACTUALLY have a God Complex, but plays at having one, as he believes it to be funny (and it DOES give Jocelin a laugh). Due to this little trait, Jocelin worked with him to make a modification of Emu’s Maximum Mighty X Gashat, one empowered by both the Bugster Virus and Magic...And the Gashat took to it all too well...Giving it ALL the powers of the canonical God Maximum Mighty X.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Final Fantasy IV belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 478

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #114
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

During a session of a full Wizengamot, a being suddenly appears in the center of the arena causing the arguing and chattering to cease. The Chief warlock of the time asks “Who and WHAT are you and why are you here?”

The being, a rather large sea serpent similar to Jormangand, shifts into his ‘Human’ form and begins to speak: “I am Leviathan, King of the Aeons (Summons)!”

“You are a BEAST that should be struck down here and now! AVADA KA-URK!“ the rude, now deceased anti-beast bigot, tried to exclaim before being struck down by a shard of ICE!

“As I was saying before I was interrupted.” The Summon King said as he GLARED at the rest of his audience: “My Ward, Harrison James Potter, is no longer any of your concern. Further more!”

The ‘Mot members were in an uproar at what the being had told them, and refused to be silent about it.. so, with a sigh, and a pinching of his nose, Leviathan casts “SILENCE!“ upon the entire Wizengamot cause not only their exclamations to cease, but also causes everyone to sit down to listen.

“You abandoned him years ago, and it was only one of MY subjects that found him nearly frozen on a doorstep fifteen years ago YOUR TIME!

There were, of course, silent gasps through out the hall, and the ‘Mot members listened intently as the Summon Lord continued:

“He has been learning all that he has been required to learn about a wide variety of subjects, and he is already betrothed to another ward of mine.. or Rather.. Queens Ashura’s: Rydia! So your Marriage laws are moot and no longer valid for anyone. Toodles!”

Leviathan reverts to his Sea Serpent form and vanishes in a ‘Tidal wave’ of water that not only Drenches the entirety of the Wizengamot, but also releases them from His ‘Silence‘ spell.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: Final Fantasy IV is the AU this time, Folks. If anybody would like to turn this rejection letter into a full fledged story? Have at it! You have my permission to do so! *eye smiles*

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Pokémon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 176

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #115: Letter from Pikachu
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

PIKA PIKACHU PIKAPI! (Stop sending my trainer those stupid letters,)

PIKACHU PIKA PIKACHU PIKA! (and stop sending them with those weak birds!)

PIKACHU PIKACHUCHUPIKA PIKACHU PIKAPI! (His name is Ash, not Harry!)

PIKA PIKAPI PIKA PIKACHU! (Got it?! So stop it or I’ll call Arceus on you!)

From

Pikachu


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Disney’s Aladdin belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 175

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #116
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry of Human Magic Users,

Stop sending my girlfriend all of those letters. Her name is not Harriet Potter. Her name is Eden. She said she has never been human to begin with, and Fyi, Genies can’t breed with humans at all! Stop and cease!

From

Genie Of The Lamp


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 217

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #117
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Please stop sending the love of my life those disgusting letters. I heard that when she went to that school, her own classmates bullied her because she saw things that others didn’t. Also she’s pregnant with my child.

So if you don’t stop, my father said that the entire Zora Army, along with my best friend Link, will come at you with war. So you will stop your attempts to take my lover, Luna Lovegood, alone!

From

Prince Sidon Of The Zora Race


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Undertale belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 173

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #118
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

I’m already married to the ambassador of the human race, Frisk. They said they don’t want to share me at all.

Also MY NAME IS NOT HARRY! IT’S CHARA, so I’ll not be marrying some guy I don’t like so stop!

From,

Chara


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Disney’s Aladdin belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 173

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #119
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #108
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Idiots,

Like my friend said his wife, Harriet Potter, will not be going to you guys to be with some idiot you chose.

So please, STOP SENDING THOSE STUPID LETTERS! SHE CHOSE JAFAR! GET OVER IT AND BOTHER SOME OTHER IDIOT!

From,

Iago


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and X-Men belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 529

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #120
Submitted By: Architeuthis
===============================

Dear Sirs and Mesdames of the Ministry of Magic,

I am utterly appalled by your new law and subsequent demand for Ms. Granger’s return to Magical Britain to wed one Professor Severus Snape. First off, Ms. Granger is fifteen – a minor by any civilized country’s standards. She is simply not old enough to marry. Furthermore, while Professor Snape may be a fine man with a respectable position, he is also roughly twenty years her senior. It has been my observation that marriages with that kind of age gap are seldom happy. The handful that are happy are between two older adults.

Then there is the matter of Ms. Granger’s… condition. She is a mutant, as you surely must know. The manifestation of her powers was quite traumatic for her. Her first year at your Hogwarts School was reasonably happy. She even made a few friends, something that she admits she sometimes struggles with.

Her second year there was a disaster. She brewed and drank something called “Polyjuice Potion“ that triggered her mutation prematurely. Her peers and instructors were at first non-committal, for they assumed she would eventually revert to normal. As time went on, though, they became increasingly hostile. Ms. Granger’s situation became untenable when a Mr. Lucius Malfoy reported her to your Committee For The Disposal Of Dangerous Creatures.

By this time, Cerebro had detected Ms. Granger. Through Cerebro, I was able to discern her distress and its causes. I, therefore, dispatched a team of X-Men to safely retrieve her. She has been at my school ever since. She has learned about her feline gifts and has come to accept them. Dr. Hank McCoy was particularly helpful in that regard, as he has a similar mutation. Ms. Granger has also made friends with some of her fellow students. I have also found her tutors, so she has been able to continue her magical education – and that is yet another problem with your appalling law. Namely, teenagers who marry are rarely able to complete their educations.

In sum, I am not sending Ms. Granger back to England to get married. She will remain at my school and continue learning about her magical and mutant abilities.

Sincerely,

Professor Charles Xavier

Xavier Institute

Salem Center, NY


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Architeuthis: Obviously, this is a Harry Potter & X-Men crossover. The idea here was that Hermione’s transformation into a catgirl proved to be permanent.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Star Vs the Forces of Evil belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 892

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #121
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested by: eternal king of fire
===============================

To The Losers Of The Ministry Of Magic,

Bloody hell! I don’t know HOW you jerks did it, but even I am beyond impressed that you somehow managed to track me down again after all these years. Or why you even BOTHERED sending me a letter involving this marriage law of yours to begin with, seeing how over there I am supposed to be legally DEAD as of seven years ago thanks to the incident inside of the Department of Mysteries in the Hall Of Prophecies which, for me at least, ended my falling into the Veil of Death no thanks to my psycho cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange.

I do believe that my ‘death‘ would be the perfect prank to last ALL pranks for somebody to pull if it had been done by somebody else except me. I don’t even remember exactly what happened when I went through the veil, but the next thing I knew I was ‘waking up’ in the body of a newborn baby boy about a week after my previous life ended, somehow with all of my memories of that life intact. Trust me when I say that being a grown man stuck in the body of an infant and having to grow up all over again has been a major pain.

I truly never expected to hear from my former life ever again, and here I was happily getting settled into my new life when the ministry owls somehow found their way to my location, and dumped the announcement of my impending nuptials to a witch I don’t even know upon my lap. Though it was nice of the ministry to send the news that my name had been cleared of the ‘crimes’ I had committed, even it had to come after I died. Thanks a lot people. Really.

That’s another thing for which I am amazed about. As far as I know, I don’t even live in the same universe as you people anymore, yet somehow the ministry owls still found me all the way here. I don’t even look the way I used to do anymore. Even if I was the proper age to take part in your law, I really doubt my would be wife would appreciate how I look now without freaking out first, and I also bet that she herself will flat out refuse to marry me.

Sorry to have to burst your bubbles people, but I Siriusly can’t help you out in your stupid little marriage law even if I wanted to.

Not only do I not WANT to do it, but even if I did want to, thanks to my current situation, I am now far too young to be taking part in it, as my current body is exactly six years old as of last Monday. My new parents won’t appreciate my getting married to complete strangers anyway who THEY didn’t approve of first.

By the way, I am now considered royalty now in my new life, thanks to my new parents. So if you somehow ever find a way over here yourselves, you’ll have to deal with the royal guard first to get to me, and if you somehow manage to get past them, then I wish you good luck trying to get past my mom if you still have the nerve to come after me. Trust me when I say that she will literally wipe the floor with all of you, using your mangled bodies as dish rags, before feeding your corpses to our hell hounds.

Hope to never here from you tossers again.

Sincerely,

Prince Tom Lucitor

Formerly known as Sirius Orion Black

P.s. By the way, I don’t know how the war with Old-Snake-Face-Who-Must-Not-Be-Properly-Named went, but if the Light side won, could you people please get in contact with my godson, Harry Potter, and my best friend Remus Lupin, and tell them that I’m alive? I really miss them.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently requested to my review box by eternal king of fire who wanted a letter written by Sirius Black.

The idea to make Sirius be reincarnated as Prince Tom Lucitor of the Underworld from Star Vs the Forces of Evil hit me out of the blue, when I was trying to figure out how to write his letter. *lol* With him falling through the Veil of Death, the idea of sending his soul to be reincarnated in Mewni wouldn’t leave me alone, and I thought Tom would be the perfect reincarnation for Sirius.

Thanks for the request. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Fate/Stay Night belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 428

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #122
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic,

Your missive was both amusing and infuriating in equal measure. I’m surprised you managed to send it between realities for someone without access to the Second True Magic. Being a connosieur of unbridled arrogance, I found your attempts rather mediocre.

In my original life, the Gods made me fall in love with a man wholly undeserving of it, a man who left me for another woman. I was lucky in another life to find a man who, despite knowing my reputation, gave me a second chance. Our love has stood the test of conflict, and my heart, which I never thought could be healed, was completed by him.

Now, I live a life as wife to a man who eclipses my first husband. A husband willing to fight by my side in a dangerous war between magic users who make yours seem pitiful by comparison. If you think I will be willing to allow you to forcibly wed Harry Potter, or Risei Tohsaka as he was originally named, to some undeserving slattern, then you must have less intelligence than even my originally low estimate. He will not betray me, and I will not betray him, not like you did.

If you wish to try pressing your luck, you will know why I was feared by many. And if you think you can enforce laws and contracts on my love...I have Rule Breaker at the ready. It is good for severing magical contracts...and sliding between ribs. You have been warned.

Yours sincerely,

Medea Potter-Tohsaka

formerly Princess Medea of Colchis

aka Caster of the Fifth Holy Grail War


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Okay, I’m going to try posting one of these letters, albeit as a bit of a plug for one of my own stories, “Separated At Birth

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 171

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #123
Submitted By: sandipi
===============================

To the wise and honored gentlebeings of the Ministry,

I would love to comply with your law and eagerly look forward to a bride. As soon as you enable me to be solid enough to wed and release me from my current contract, I will be there to meet my lovely bride.

Peeves


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by sandipi. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and My Little Pony belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 913

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #124
Submitted by: cornholio4
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

I have tried to be as civil and patient with you all as I can, but it seems that I have had to reach the end of my patience. I don’t care what you think or try to justify it with him belonging to your country as a ‘national treasure‘ or that we are just creatures, but Harry is my son, and a Prince of Equestria.

Your headmaster was the one who left him with just a note on a doorstep to be picked up a portal. When you found the way to portal through to our world, instead of contacting us to try and make negotiations about Harry going to Hogwarts... instead you allowed your Aurors to go through and try and kidnap Harry.

Years later I allowed Harry to participate in your Triwizard Tournament if only because his life would have been at stake, and I now see I was far too lenient against the stupid reporters, officials trying to pressure Harry to stay and a bully of a professor who felt he could judge Harry based on a biological father he never knew.

Then somehow, your Death Eaters got the magic to make a portal to Equestria and we had to take care of them ourselves. Now that we dealt with them and their having their own special places in Tartarus (Voldemort’s so called immortality doesn’t do him any good in a magic proof cell for all eternity).

Now you want us to hand over the Death Eaters to you since to you, most of them were ‘upstanding citizens‘ and that Harry be handed over to you so he could be the face of a stupid marriage law to some girl with pureblood political connections? That is the last straw.

I have actually been in contact with your ICW and we have managed to get our own spot there and had Equestria recognised as its own magical nation. They allowed us the right through an extradition treaty to allow foreign terrorists to try any invaders by our own laws.

You send any of your people to try and take Harry away from us and I will lose all leniencies from me. You will not only have to deal with the Alicorn Princess of Friendship, but his godmothers Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity plus his aunt and uncle Cadence and Shining Armor and Tempest the captain of my guard.

Yours sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

Princess of Friendship of Equestria

Mother of Harry Sparkle


Four Months Later


Percy Weasley got his dream job of being the Minister of Magic but like the muggle saying that his father used before, be careful what you wish for. Dolores Umbridge had after Voldemort’s defeat used her connections to become acting Minister and was the one who enacted the Marriage Law bypassing the Wizengamot.

She put up a show of saying the citizens had to do their part for the good of Magical Britain and they needed to invade the world of ‘those disgusting horses no better than half breeds’ and to take not only Harry so he could be with a ‘respectable witch’ but take the horses magic for their own as well as rescue the ‘poor imperioused citizens’ like the Malfoys who had been among the Death Eaters to invade Equestria.

However she got no support from the Aurors or the Wizengamot who refused to go with the law she enacted without going through the channels. She and her supporters also got opposition from the Wizengamot. She was working on a plan when she and her supporters found themselves arrested by the Aurors and taken to the Wizengamot for a no confidence vote. They had discovered evidence that she was the one who leaked to Lucius Malfoy the method to travel to Equestria.

Her tenure didn’t last two weeks and she was sent extradited to Equestria to face trial on their laws to her loud complaints and screaming. Now it was up to him and the Wizengamot to clean up the Ministry and prosecute the remaining Death Eaters and their allies.

It was a lot of hard work including the reactions from when the Equestrians gave the transcribes of their interrogations of the Death Eaters, the Order didn’t take it well when they learned what their spy Severus Snape (among those who invaded Equestria) did while in the DE ranks.

Well he was certain to sort this out and had a couple of meetings planned as well as the ICW talking about the seats for the other countries on the world Equestria was from. His meeting with the Yak prince pretty much considered of him keep threatening war...


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by cornholio4. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 403

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #125
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

To whom it may concern:

Who are you? Why are you bothering me with this.. this.. stuff?

My name isn’t ‘Harry Potter’.. I don’t even know who that is.

Huh? He’s the ‘Boy-Who-Lived’? He.. He. HE DID WHAT?! Nonononono.. I’ve read those books.. all twenty-six of them.. The ones by.. what was his name again? Gilded-Boy Locked-fart? Well.. whatever his name is/was.. they seem to be a lot of bull hockey.

The books by Ms. J.K. Rowling are better written, and seem to be more realistic.. However..

I’m not this Harry Potter that you’re looking for.. Heck.. I’m not even the guy that portrayed him in the movies based on some of the books! Umm... What was his name again?

OH YEAH! Daniel Radcliffe! Now HE is the perfect candidate for this ‘Harry’ person.. not me.

I don’t have green eyes, nor do I have a Lightning bolt scar on my forehead.

I do, however, have a scar in the shape of triangle on my left thigh, but that was from a bully using a.. a.. I don’t remember what it is called in shop class two years ago.

Umm.. It would be nice if you would stop sending owls to.. to. to the orphanage... and to the school that I go to, The Adults in both places are beginning to get really annoyed with them, and so is the Animal Control People that have had to come around every other week because of them.

Who ever you are.. you are in deep trouble.

Nanashi


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: Random Au this time folks. Make of it as you will.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Beauty and the Beast belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 162

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #126
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

My name is not Hermione Granger. It’s Belle, and I’m already married! His name is Prince Adam and I love him so I won’t be leaving him at all!

From,

Belle


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 188

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #127
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #97
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

Like I said in my last letter to leave my wife, Harriet Potter, alone and you mortals ignored my warning and even trespassed in my home.

I just hope you like the remains of your workers, whom I even gift wrapped for you. Hope you like them barbecued.

From,

Lord Beerus

God Of Destruction Of Universe 7


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Silent Hill belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 172

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #128
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

My name isn’t Harry Potter and I’m not male. My name is Alessa Gillespie. So if you try to come and get me, it will be your funeral cause all the monsters will try to kill you if you try. lol

From,

Alessa Gillespie


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bleach belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 186

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #129
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Pedophiles,

WTF I’M NOT EVEN TWELVE AND YOU WANT ME TO MARRY SOMEONE OLDER THAN TWENTY?! ARE GUYS ON CRACK! MY OLDER ICHIGO WILL BEAT YOUR ASSES, but I asked not to.

SO IF YOU DON’T STOP HOUNDING ME WITH THOSE LETTERS, I’LL LET MY BROTHER JUST DO THAT!

AND MY NAME ISN’T HERMIONE GRANGER

From,

Karin Kurosaki


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Super Mario Brothers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 198

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #130
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Idiots,

Wtf! I’m not even a teenager and you want me to marry some girl I might not like and expected to be ‘happy‘ about it? You guys must be on some crazy drug to even think that.

  1. I’m not a human
  2. My father would burn you guys into a crisp!
  3. And btw, my name is not Neville Longbottom!

From

Crown Prince Of The Koopas

Bowser Jr.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sailor Moon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 204

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #131
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

Our princess will not be marrying any of these suitors. For one she’s already married, and two the Japanese Ministry Of Magic already wrote a letter saying that she’s a Japanese citizen, not a British citizen.

I bet your doing this just so you guys can use their powers in the war which is not happening. So leave our princess and her friends alone. She’ll not be going.

From,

Guardian Of The Sailor Scouts

Luna


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and God of War belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 367

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #132
Submitted By: Harosata
===============================

To the fools of the Ministry of Magic,

Do you think you are gods? Do you know why many gods are dead? In my anger, I killed them. Anger for their insults against my family, for the lies and broken promises. I have killed many in their name, and I have killed them. And they tried to kill me, but I have yet to find a hell that can keep me from fighting.

I am angry right now, but not angry enough to carve a path straight to your heads. Inside I am waiting for my son, Atreus, and his wife, Henri, to calm down so we can acquire plane tickets and then go for your heads. You are free to provide transport the next time you contact us, or if you do not wish to to meet face to face, you will withdraw your insults and give us tributes for the troubles you caused. I believe Henri likes treacle tarts.

I believe you know the right answer.

-Kratos

Also, do not include any women in our tribute as my son and I are happy with our family.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Harosata. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Special thanks to Quatermass for their help in answering my question.

Notes to Harosata: To the reader known as Harosata, could you please send me a list of all the xover series that go with the letters you submitted?

As well as add the names of said series to any new letters you send in afterwards?

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Soul Eater belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 404

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #133
Submitted By: Harosata
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic of Britain,

You fools! How dare you suggest that Hermione Jane Granger and I are not meant to be? This law has been violently shot down back in the 12th century! Merlin would not like to hear such a proposal. Neither would Morgana.

Well, let me tell you, Merlin was indeed a great wizard, but he didn’t choose the next strong wizard to lead Britain, but a young non-magical man, one who I greatly respect. And yet all of you who swear by his name have no trust in anyone with muggle roots to do what is best for your country, not even the girl who aided the “Master of Death”.

But very well, if you wish to besmirch Merlin’s name any further, then Hermione and I shall defend it. Send out any of your warriors who still have Valor and Honor.

Love,

Excalibur, Sword of Promised Victory

P.S. - Hermione just pointed out that as the sword who knighted Arthur as King, I can pretty much make her the ruler of Britain, once home of Camelot.

P.P.S. - I put the “Master of Death” in quotation marks because Harry’s not the master of Death the Kidd, current God of Death. He is, however, his newly adopted brother, and their faction is tasked with hunting dangerous Witches.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Harosata. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Special thanks to Quatermass for their help in answering my question.

Notes to Harosata: To the reader known as Harosata, could you please send me a list of all the xover series that go with the letters you submitted?

As well as add the names of said series to any new letters you send in afterwards?

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Disney’s The Little Mermaid belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 507

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #134
Submitted By: Architeuthis
===============================

To the Ministry of Magical Imbeciles,

I will give you points for that impressive piece of magic: Your owl somehow managed to reach our underwater grotto without drowning or getting eaten by my boys. Well done.

But, dears, I am going to have to dock points for the contents of that absurd letter. You seem to be laboring under the impression that you can order my son to marry some witch he has never even met, in order to help you rebuild your population in the wake of some war.

First off, dears, we’re Cecaelia or “Octopus People”, if you have questionable upbringings. As such, we can’t mate with humans. Oh, we can… enjoy them, but we can’t have children by them. So much for your repopulation program. And, oh, we aren’t under your jurisdiction either.

Second, my son Phorcys has not used the name Neville Longbottom in a very long time. Back when he was human, one of his uncles used to like to frighten him in order to scare a display of accidental magic out of him. This gentleman threw him off a pier one day.

I cast a little spell to help him breathe underwater and took him to my home where he’d be safe. Any idiot could tell the child was magical. There was no need to try to drown him!

To make a long story short, I eventually blood-adopted Phorcys, so he became my son in all ways. That means he’s now a Cecaelia like me. He is also strongly magical, also like me. Your letter mentioned sending “authorities” to our home if my Phorcys doesn’t present himself to marry… Lavender Brown, was it? I urge you to rethink that. While I’m sure your... “Aurors” have spells that enable them to breathe underwater, Phorcys and I know all sorts of cancellation spells. “Finite” barely scratches the surface. And there are ways to render artifacts useless.

In other words, dears, to put it in plain language, Phorcys and I will drown any and all uninvited guests from your Ministry. Or we may add them to our garden or feed them to our pets. None of those will help your repopulation program, either!

With great displeasure,

Ursula the Sea-Witch


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and One Punch Man belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 220

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #135
Submitted By: Harosata
===============================

To the Ministry of Wrackspurts.

I am married to King, who is considered The Strongest Man In The World. If you want me to breed with your Crumpled Horn Snorkack, you’ll have to defeat him first.

Sincerely,

Luna formerly Lovegood


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Harosata. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Special thanks to Quatermass for their help in answering my question.

Notes to Harosata: To the reader known as Harosata, could you please send me a list of all the xover series that go with the letters you submitted?

As well as add the names of said series to any new letters you send in afterwards?

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 494

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #136
Submitted By: Harosata
===============================

To The Ministry of Magic,

I am Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic. To clear up any confusion other than the ones you caused, we would be of the Ministry of Magic of another Earth. Our worlds are similar in the sense that Voldemort had been stopped by Harry Potter, counterpart to your Harriet Potter, but not without a great loss to our population. We are also ten years ahead of your time judging by the age of Harri Potter.

So I must ask who came up with this farce of a marriage law that has caused a number of your subjects to seek refuge on our side? Yes, our numbers are low too, but we did not force spouses on anyone and Hogwarts has triple the students than when Harry attended. Judging by the number of refugees here, I do not think you can even reach a third of that number.

Furthermore, both of our ministries were founded at the same time, so as the Minister of the more senior Ministry of Magic, I enact the following:

  • -We do not recognize the marriage law as official or just. We are not obligated to enact that law.
  • -We do not recognize those labeled by the marriage law as criminals. They will not be turned over to you.
  • -We do not recognize anyone enforcing the marriage law as a law enforcer. They will be detained and judged properly. Their names will not have any power in this side.

As we both wish to keep our subjects safe, I implore you to not start another war.

~Kingsley Shacklebolt

Minister of Magic

P.S. Unspeakable Croaker speaking. Evidence A suggests that your Ministry did not develop Aurors or weapons to deal with the Dark Lord threat. Evidence B suggests that we have developed many ways to handle any future dark wizard threats within the last ten years. I am interested to see the results.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Harosata. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Special thanks to Quatermass for their help in answering my question.

Notes to Harosata: To the reader known as Harosata, could you please send me a list of all the xover series that go with the letters you submitted?

As well as add the names of said series to any new letters you send in afterwards?

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Worm belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 435

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #137
Submitted By: Harosata
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic:

Wow. I have to applaud you, because I didn’t think anyone could top the stupidity that was Canary’s trial. If she was such a danger like they make her out to be, we would have recruited her already.

To be fair, I am eligible and available, and I was once Harry James Potter. I am also what the non-magical public calls a Murderhobo, not exactly a guy who can hold a job despite my good looks, but I can make quite a killing. Oh, and I also led a band of Murderhobos for THIRTY years straight.

Tell you what. If you can find someone who can work a portal from Earth Bet, where I am, to Earth Aleph, your version of Earth, I will meet up with the wife you chose for me, but she will have to pass my test to join my family just like everyone else. Don’t worry, my tests are quite simple. Why, our latest member successfully joined after I gave her the test of repeating the preivous tests she passed.

I await your response.

Jack Slash

Formerly Harry Potter

Of The Slaughterhouse 9

p.s. - If you were actually planning to kill me, I should also mention that Riley may or may not have implant a virus in me that could theoretically destroy several cities. I’m actually sad that your Aurors didn’t have the ability to test that theory, but not from a lack of trying. At least everyone else is entertained.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Harosata. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Special thanks to Quatermass for their help in answering my question.

Notes to Harosata: To the reader known as Harosata, could you please send me a list of all the xover series that go with the letters you submitted?

As well as add the names of said series to any new letters you send in afterwards?

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default-Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 330

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #138
Submitted By: Jostanos
Sequel to: Letter #72
===============================

A RED letter flies into the Wizengamut Chambers during one of its ‘Full Session Meetings’, and it begins its spiel:

“Is this thing recording, beloved?” a feminine voice asks with a seeming echoing voice

“It is, My Diva.” a familiar, if older, voice replies “Go ahead and tell them..”

“OK!” the ‘DIVA’ cheerfully exclaims, and takes a deep breath before...

“HOW DARE YOU KEEP SENDING THOSE POOR OWLS TO MY HUBBY! HE DOESN’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU MORONS... ESPECIALLY NOT A CERTAIN GINGER HAIRED SO-AND-SO WHO WON’T TAKE A HINT! NOR ANY OTHER STUCK-UP, ANACHRONISTIC, NO-GOING-’OUT-OF-OUR-COMFORT-ZONE’, SHEEPLE! HARRYKINS IS STAYING WITH ME ON LUXENDARC! AND THERE IS NO WAY IN THE.. THE..”

Deepest Parts of the Underworld..”

“YEAH! WHAT HARRYKINS SAID!”

The Potter-alamode Duet finish with: “LEAVE US ALONE!”

The Howler (for that is what it was) blows a ‘Raspberry‘ at the assembly, and not only tears itself up into confetti, but also unleashes: A ‘SONIC BOOM!‘ so intense that it knocks everyone out for over a week.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: I have an update to an earlier rejection letter (The one about Harry marrying Praline ala Mode)

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Tales of Phantasia belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 241

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #139
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

During a session of the Wizengamut a mysterious voice calls out:

“I DWELL AMONGST THE ABIDING LIGHT OF HEAVEN!”

The member of the ‘mut look everywhere for the mysterious voice, but find nothing; then it continues:

“THOU ART AT THE GATES TO THE UNDERWORLD!”

Who in Merlin’s name is casting that?“ exclaims the Chief Warlock, but the only reply he receives is:

“COME FORTH THUNDER OF THE GODS! IT ENDS HERE!”

The entirety of the Wizengamut exclaims: “WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!”

And the mysterious voice replies: “INDIGANTION!”


Woooo-boy! You better not have been ANYWHERE even close to the vicinity of the Ministry of Magic building that day. Why?

*narrows his eyes* Take an educated guess.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Girl Genius belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 673

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #140
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

Dear Ministry of Will-based Transmogrification Force (because I am NOT going to call it magic),

After everything you put my Harry through, you seriously expect him to go along with this? Wow. After my experiences with other wizards (which I think is a VERY unscientific term for what you are, and I’m only using until I find a better term), I thought I had seen the depths of stupidity and malice you can sink to. It says a lot when Harry and his friends would rather stay in Mechanicsburg, or within the Wulfenbach Empire, than in the Britain of your world.

Now, I’m sure that you’re thinking, ‘ooh, she’s just a Muggle with a chip on her shoulder, we can deal with her easily‘. Well, leaving aside the fact that you have already underestimated Harry more than once, and will do so again due to your egregious stupidity, let me list out a few reasons why you should be scared of me.

  1. I am a Spark, or, in layman’s terms, a mad scientist. In fact, I am from a very long line of mad scientists, mostly feared as the equivalent to your Voldemort. My father and uncle, on the other hand, were beloved as much as Harry’s parents were... well, I’d say more so, given the way you’re treating him. I’d like to think of myself as MOSTLY following in my father and Uncle Barry’s footsteps.
  2. I have a copy of my mother’s mind in my head. If that doesn’t scare you, then you don’t know my mother. You know how you call Voldemort ‘You Know Who’? They call my mother, Lucrezia Mongfish, ‘The Other‘. She is worshipped as a deity by the Geisterdamen, and is feared by all of Europe. Oh, and one thing we agree on is helping Harry.
  3. I live in a castle that has a dark and twisted sense of humour, even before it got damaged. It is filled with all sorts of fun deathtraps. And it is loyal to me (for a given value of loyal).
  4. I have the loyalty of the Jagermonster army and the people of Mechanicsburg, as well as an alliance with Prince Tarvek von Sturmvoraus, and another with Baron Klaus von Wulfenbach. His son, by the way, is courting Harry’s friend Hermione Granger, and I am sure he is not happy with the letter Hermione received as well.
  5. You have your Killing Curses, the Cruciatus, Fiendfyre...I have a lot of death rays. My first death ray drilled a hole through a mountain from one end to another. But please, go ahead, call my bluff.

Now, I have listed the reasons for you to avoid angering me and mine, but I’m sure you idiots will see this as incentive to attack. To which I say, YOU FOOLS! I’LL DESTROY YOU ALL! AND I WILL USE THE REMAINS TO CREATE CONSTRUCTS TO SERVE US DINNER IN OUR BANQUET HALL! MWAHAHAHAHA!

I’d say sorry for that little Spark rant...but that would be a lie.

Yours insincerely,

Lady Agatha Heterodyne-Potter

Ruler of Mechanicsburg

THE Heterodyne


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Firstly, this one, based on my “Girl Genius“ crossover, “Girl Genius’ Animagus“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Red vs Blue belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 442

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #141
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Wow. I have to admit to being a little impressed at how you managed to send this letter into the future... though given how we think a parallel universe is involved instead of just time travel... but that’s not my point. My point is that your stupidity is impressive, and considering that Carrie and I are living with a bunch of idiots, that’s saying something.

I have to wonder whether you have really short memories, though. When Carrie and I were brought back to that time by the Goblet of Fire, we decimated a lot of Death Eaters. Benefits of training with Project Freelancer, which is even more impressive considering I was the medic. And you think you can enforce your will? Carolina’s already unimpressed with you lot. Sometimes, she’s really hot when she’s angry. I wouldn’t trade her for anyone you choose, or anyone else, for all the world.

Keep in mind that I’m not the only Freelancer here. And we also have one of the deadliest group of misfits in known space. Caboose may be stupid, but he’s also stupidly strong, especially when he gets into a rage. Oh, and he just befriended a killer robot called Freckles. Sarge loves his shotgun rather too much, and for all his rants about Blues, he’s a good fighter. And Tucker? He has a fancy alien sword and he knows how to use it. And we also have some wizards from your time.

We’ve faced scarier things than wizards with chips on their shoulders and their wands stuck up their asses. So, bring it. Just give us an envelope to mail your sorry carcasses back where they belong.

Yours,

Agent Virginia

aka Harry Church

formerly Harry Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Another shameless plug for one of my stories, my “Red vs Blue“ crossover, “Freelancer, Medic, Mage“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Metal Gear Solid belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 373

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #142
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

Dear Ministry of Idiots,

I thought that the Americans were idiots, but you have proven yourself to be worse than them. Quite the achievement, really. We had only just gotten married, and then you send this to us to spoil our rather passionate honeymoon.

When I first met Harry, he went by the codename of Thaumaturge Griffin. The special forces group we belonged to, FoxHOUND, had its quaint obsession with animal-themed codenames. Our relationship, admittedly, was rocky at first, but we became comrades and lovers. It even stood the test of the Shadow Moses Incident, which I’m sure you haven’t heard about, as it only involved No-Majs, what you call Muggles, Harry aside.

In Harry, I found not just love, but salvation from the hatred I felt. And you wish to take that from me? Fools. Leaving aside Harry’s prowess, I am one of the most skilled snipers in the world, born in the fires of war and trained by the man many call Big Boss. I have fought against the likes of Big Boss’ sons, Solid Snake and Liquid Snake, against the mechanical monstrosity known as Metal Gear REX.

You do not scare me. Indeed, I welcome you coming here. My skills have gotten a little rusty in what is almost retirement, and I need the practise.

Yours sincerely,

Yasmin Potter

formerly Sniper Wolf of FoxHOUND


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Another shameless plug for one of my stories, my “Metal Gear Solid“ crossover, “Broken Tools“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Overlord belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 340

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #143
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

To the pitiful insects of the Ministry of Magic,

How DARE you suggest that our lord be forced to marry a whore of your choosing?! I thought you miserable cretins would have gotten the hint when he withdrew from public life after defeating those fools who opposed him. But it seems I grossly underestimated your tenacity.

It is true that our lord has multiple wives, of which I am proud to be a member of. He doesn’t care that we are not human. Indeed, he despises humanity, especially wizards, for what you put him through. And while I am willing to allow him to add a human wife to the harem, it will be his choice alone...well, vetted by myself, Shalltear, Hermione and the others. But to marry a lowly slattern chosen by your dubious collective intelligence? Oh, you have ignited the boundless reaches of my fury!

Press us further on the issue, you lower lifeforms, and we will go to war. No, not a war. War suggests a victory that needs to be strived towards. No, this will be more... pest control.

Lady Albedo

Wife of Harry Potter

The current Ainz Ooal Gown


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: And another shameless plug, this time for my “Overlord“ crossover “Yield to the Darkness

Okay, that’s it for now...

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 434

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #144
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #97 and #127
===============================

During a sessions in the wizenmot trying to get Harriet Potter away from Lord Beerus.

BOOM!

A large explosion shook the whole place.

The whole room looked and saw a purple humanoid cat enter the room, “YOU GUYS HAVE NOT LEARNED HAVE YOU?! I SEND TWO LETTERS STATING THAT HARRIET POTTER IS MARRIED TO ME! AND YOU EVEN TRY TO TRESPASS ONTO MY HOME! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU MORTALS!”

The Aurors pulled out their wands at him.

Who are you beast, and wh-” The Auror was killed by a death ball.

An ugly toadlike woman dressed in pink then screamed, “Who are you and why are you here?!”

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN, TO WHAT I SAID A FEW MOMENTS AGO?!”

The same woman again, “Oh we heard, but you also said claim that you took Harriet Potter as your wife without our permission. Ha, don’t lie to me demon!”

Which was a mistake to call a god. DEMON?! DID YOU JUST CALL A GOD OF DESTRUCTION A DEMON AND CALL ME A LIAR, YOU DISRESPECTFUL TOAD?!”

The woman screamed at him “I’m The Minister Of Magic! Show some respect, and don’t lie to me demon! I know your lying about Harriet willingly marrying you! I know Harriet! I know she would never marry a monster like you!”

Everyone else were just watching the two bicker like two children. But they also saw an aura around him and that told everyone that they messed up.

Umbridge Continued “And furthermore, you’ll bring her here to marry a proper pureblood husband! Not some demon who’s delusional about being a god!”

That was the last straw and beerus right in front released his aura and Umbridge’s eyes widen in terror of what she just released.

After that the law was eliminated.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Disney’s Frozen belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 421

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #145
Submitted By: Architeuthis
===============================

To Madame Crawford
Lady Muck of Dunghill Hall

Thank you so much for the snowstorm in my bedroom! That’s always a great way to start the day. It’s also loads of fun telling your better half that, no, you don’t know how that bloody owl got there.

You read that right: “better half.” I am married, now, to… trumpets, please… Queen Elsa of Arendelle.

I’m still not sure how that owl tracked me down, given that I fell through the Veil of Death, which probably needs a new name since I didn’t die. In any case, one minute I was falling to my apparent death, and the next, I was crashing a fancy-dress ball. Literally.

As you might have guessed from my comment about the snowstorm, Elsa is very strongly magical. Her subjects all know about magic, which was very lucky for me, as I didn’t have a convincing explanation for my unexpected presence handy. Elsa, fortunately, forgave me for interrupting her birthday celebration, possibly on account of my charm and roguish good looks.

You do not need to know how we became an item, for that is not the Ministry’s business – although your title makes me think that you believe otherwise.

As for your demand that I put aside Elsa and come back to merry old Magical Britain to marry whoever-the-bloody-hell-this-is - NOT HAPPENING! You people do not have the right or wherewithal to unilaterally dissolve marriages! The Ministry ESPECIALLY cannot dissolve a marriage involving a foreign royal! Nor do you get a say in what happens to Ingrid, our daughter, and heir!

In case you don’t understand long words, SOD OFF!

Sirius, First of His Name

Prince Consort of Arendelle

(formerly Sirius Black)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and One Piece belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 838

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #146
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

Insignificant, lowlife peasants who are not fit to even lick my boots clean! I do not know who this Harleyquin Rose Potter is, or why you seem hellbent on thinking that I am this girl, but I demand that you cease and desist on your harrassing me about this absurd marriage law of yours. Even if I was this Harleyquin Potter, the answer would still be hell no, because I refuse to pimp my body out to some peasant to help you rebuild your society.

Kindly cease sending those damn owls as well! They are a bothersome and tedious annoyance, and my mama is threatening to have our chefs turn the next batch that shows up into dinner when we catch them.

I do believe that proper introductions are in order to my identity. My name is Princess Charlotte Tiramisu, or Tiramisu Charlotte if you want to be technical about names, of the Toto Kingdom in the New World. I am the thirty-seventh daughter (with forty-six brothers) of Empress Lillin Charlotte who is captain and leader of the legendary Big Mom Pirate, as well as a Emperor of our land. We are known as the most powerful and feared band of pirates across the seas.

Furthermore, I am not a citizen of your pitiful society, so your ‘laws’ mean nothing to me. I have never, in my long life even heard of this ‘Britian’ land that you claim to hail from. It can not be located on any map that my family owns or else we would be coming over there to personally deal with you and your assumptions that make you think that you can try to order me to take part in your law, and your threats to send me to prison for not complying with a law that was made in a country which I don’t even live in. You have no jurisdiction over me and what I chose not do and have no right to ‘punish‘ me for disobeying your lame laws. The only one who can do that is my mama, if I let her.

If you keep pushing us on this matter, we will find a way to locate all you and then we will be sure to make you wish that you had never heard of my family and myself and learn the hard way about what makes us so feared, that is if you survive what we have planned.

At the moment, you’re very lucky that we can’t find you yet, because my mama is extremely pissed right now thanks to what those letters have been saying, and she says that she will make all of you suffer in painful and horrendous ways once she gets her hands on you. She and my siblings will level your society to the ground, and leave nothing behind.

Sincerely,

Princess Charlotte Tiramisu


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Hey I have a question. The main reason I came up with THIS letter, is because an idea for a new Harry Potter and One Piece xover hit me out of the blue. The question is, how do you think of the idea of me doing a real female Harry Potter/Tiramisu Charlotte xover story?

I made her the 37th daughter of Big Mom’s daughters, because I checked Big Moms wikia page, and it says she already has over 39 daughters and 46 sons when the fight with Luffy happens. So I put her a few years younger than Pudding when she was taken in by the family, so now there are 40 daughters on the family instead of 39.

The idea of her being raised by Big Mom and her kin wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote the letter. lol I call her Tiramisu because of Big Mom’s habit of naming her kids after food, and I thought the name seemed nice, and wasn’t already in use by her kids.

For those of you who dont know what kind of food Tiramisu is, its supposed to be a coffee-flavoured Italian dessert.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Urusei Yatsura belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 798

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #147
Submitted By: Pyeknu
===============================

To The Umale of the Tribe of Britain,

Wow! How in the name of the Great Crystal did you actually teleport that cute avian over to Yiziba in the damned first place?!

That’s a pretty impressive show of lomtumsam...for a pack of homr’bu umale!


In the background, the whole of the Wizengamot chambers seemed to DRIP with the level of scorn that one statement just made.


Now, let’s get to the climax of the scene, shall we.

After all the near-death scenes you umale put MY Harry through, you are demanding that Harry actually return to your pitiful planet of sames and norms and actually become a pillow scene partner to someone who looks like his late MOTHER?!

To borrow the common script line on Earth: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SMOKING?!

First of all, Harry doesn’t care to have this umale Weasley as his pillow scene partner. I actually handle that rôle quite well.

And believe me, Harry is all worth it.

Secondly, Harry is now Gifted. That means Harry is now a METAHUMAN. Yes, Harry became the new incarnation of Lokrole (the Warlock), one of our planet’s most powerful users of lomtumsam, but Harry is still a METAHUMAN.

Atop that, Harry’s a YIZIBAJOHEI metahuman!

Which means Harry can’t mate with the umale Weasley!

After all, Yizibajohei CANNOT mate with non-Yizibajohei!


In the background, frightened cries echoed from many of the Wizengamot as they remember the METAHUMAN side of the Second World War...which made Grindelwald’s War look like a summer tea party in comparison.


And thirdly, because the new incarnation of Lokrole has to be female, Harry James Potter is now Rose Jamie Potter.


In the background, twin outraged shrieks escaped Molly Weasley and her daughter.


And I know that two GIRLS can’t mate and bring little ones into this world!

Never mind what I wrote above.

Now...!


Thunderous crashing noises made the Minister for Magic look up to see CINDER BLOCKS smashing down on the heads of various members of the Wizengamot.


You just probably saw all your umale friends get their heads smashed in.

I did that!

Me?! I’m a REALITY WARPER, umale! In other words, I’m a master of something that is even BEYOND lomtumsam, especially the pitiful stick-waving stuff you can do!

You want to start a fight scene?!

I’m always game for that!

So is Rose, by the way!

Last time I visited Britain to help someone get Gifted, the STENCH of you homr’bu umale just seeped out of every one of your hidden hidey-holes!

It’s a wonder to me how the norms in Britain can’t detect it!

You want the fight scene?

Do it with me...

...and kiss your precious “Statute of Secrecy” goodbye!

Cheers!

Tariko Katabarbe

Tuyuki (Coyote)

Trickster of the Great Show of Life


On reading the signature block, the Minister for Magic then got his head caved in by a cinder block.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Pyeknu. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Pyeknu: Directly inspired by The End of the Circus: A Tale of the Yizibajohei, written by Pyeknu.

As Quartermass has done to shamelessly plug his stories, let me do the same in this list when it comes to my own story The End of the Circus: A Tale of the Yizibajohei.

As for translations and explanations:

  • Umale — Same/Sameness. In other words, you’re a drone and doomed to die due to the fact that the same metahuman power is shared between people of the same culture. In effect, it’s seen as the Yizibajohei version of inbreeding.
  • Lomtumsam — Literally “pure chaos”, the Yizibajohei word for magic.
  • Homr’bu umale — Literally “scripted same”, the worst type of umale in the eyes of a Yizibajohei, demanding to be EXTERMINATED with extreme prejudice. Basically applied to any group of people who act, dress and behave alike.
  • Getting to the climax of the scene — Yizibajohei way of saying “getting to the point”.
  • Common script line — Yizibajohei term equivalent to the idiom “old saying”.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Final Fantasy 7 belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 690

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #148
Submitted By: BloodyKitsune1997
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

I am the Director of SOLDIER which is the military of the Shinra Electric Company. I must ask that you desist any attempts to either contact, control, or kidnap Lieutenant Briar-Rose Rhapsodos Nee Strife-Potter. She is a member of SOLDIER and thus under an unbreakable contract.

The Lieutenant is enhanced with mako which means that even if she was willing to participate in your law, she is unable to, as SOLDIER have been known to accidentally harm their un-enhanced lovers during intercourse as they can’t exactly control their strength at that point.

You have been warned, otherwise I will be forced to send the Turks after you. Of course, I will congratulate you on somehow managing to send an owl of all things all the way to Gaia from your world.

Lazard Deusericus

Director of SOLDIER


Dear Ministry of idiotic simpletons,

The sheer fact you can even write a letter much less be able to send it to another world that Briar formally hailed from is astonishing. If it had just been that, I would simply applaud you, but the fact that you seek to take her away from Genesis is unforgivable.

She is not only a valued member of my team, but also a dear friend and one of the only people able to keep Genesis from driving us mad by way of reciting Loveless far too often.

If you do not refrain from sending anymore letters, I will be forced to show you why I am called the Silver Demon and feared by Wutaii.

Sephiroth Valentine

General of SOLDIER. 1st Class


Dear Ministry of idiots that should be burned from existence,

I will obliterate every single one of you pathetic slime balls if you think I’m giving up my beloved wife, who’s passion for materia and Loveless rivals my own. She is MINE! At the current moment, she is pregnant with our first child which is the only reason I or any of our team have come after you.

If you even try to do anything more than send an apology letter, you won’t have just the Crimson Commander or the Silver Demon after you. No, you’ll have our entire team, which consists of the other 1st class SOLDIERs, a handful of Turks, and my wonderful wife’s faithful golden Fenrir familiar.

Try anything and you’ll be nothing more than ash.

The Crimson Commander

Genesis Rhapsodos

1st Class and Commander of the SOLDIER Army


Dear Ministry of Sheeple,

Try to take my big sister away from me and you’ll find out just what she’s taught me since Mom adopted her.

Cloud Strife

Lieutenant of SOLDIER. 1st class


Dear Ministry of Magic,

I would advise against attempting to take Briar away. It would be a stain on what’s left of your honor.

Angeal Hewley

1st Class and Commander of The SOLDIER Army

Ps. My Puppy is currently unconcious otherwise he would be sending a letter as well. He had to be knocked out as Briar is his favorite sparing/mission partner.


Dear Ministry of Fools,

Turks protect their own and while Briar isn’t one of us in name, she is still considered one of us. You have been warned.

Turks of Shinra

P.s. Try it and die yo!

P.s.s. I’ll gut you like a fish.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by BloodyKitsune1997. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 543

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #149
Submitted By: Architeuthis
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic,

Have you people lost your minds!? Fleur and I are not going to get divorced on your say-so! We love each other and plan to have a family together, and we don’t care that some of you are bigots who disapprove of Fleur’s heritage.

Fair warning: Don’t even consider sending anybody to Gringotts to arrest us. The goblins know about the marriage law and highly disapprove of it. They also view Aurors turning up at the bank to arrest people as a disruption of their work – and they hate disruptions.

Even if I were still single, there is no way in hell I would even consider marrying Marian Weasley. While she’s a fine woman and a powerful witch, she is also my first cousin!

ARE YOU PEOPLE MENTAL?! Haven’t you heard of inbreeding?! Anybody who breeds animals, be they dragons or kneazles, will tell you that you don’t mate animals that are closely related to each other because the offspring will often have birth defects.

Despite your beliefs to the contrary, the same thing is true of people. Having magic does not make us immune, either. At most, it may slow the effects down, so a couple of generations may be able to get away with such inbreeding. Eventually, though, an inbred family will start producing sickly, disabled children with weak or no magic.

Don’t believe me? Look at some family histories then. It’s well known that the Gaunt family eventually died out because of their inbreeding. The Blacks may still be a magically powerful family, but a suspicious number of them have been mentally unstable – and some forms of madness do run in families. Inbreeding increases the chances of such a madness affecting a child.

Historical records will also show that many of the most powerful witches and wizards were not purebloods. Albus Dumbledore, whom many people consider to be the most powerful wizard in many a century, was a halfblood. Merlin himself wasn’t a pureblood. In fact, he is widely believed to have been a halfbreed of some sort.

To sum it up, I am not divorcing Fleur in order to marry Marian. Fleur and I are not going back to England, and we both want and plan to have healthy and magically powerful children.

William Weasley


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Architeuthis: The Harry Potter Wiki webpage describes Arthur Weasley as having at least two brothers. It seems logical to assume that at least one of those brothers had children.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default-Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 515

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #150
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

They’ve sent Harry to Luxendarc!
They’ve sent Harry to Luxendarc!
What did you say?
They’ve sent Harry.. Sent Harry to Luxendarc.. to Luxendarc-d-d-d-darc!

Tell me where is Umbitch for I much desire to speak with her.
Tell me where is Umbitch for I much desire to speak with her.
The Pink Toad in office.
What did you say?

The Pink Toad in Office.
What did you say?
They’ve sent Harry to Luxendarc!
Stupid Fat Toad Bitch!

They’ve sent Harry to Luxendarc!
Stupid Fat Toad Bitch!

They’ve sent Harry to Luxendarc!
They’ve sent Harry to Luxendarc!
They’ve sent harry to Luxendarc!

Stupid Fat Toad Bitch!
ROT IN AZKABAN! AND NEVER COME BACK!


Harry Potter.. Once the ‘Boy-Who-Lived’ and ‘The Savior of Magical United Kingdom’.

Now Harry, after being sent through the Veil of Death by Madam Delores Umbridge acting M.O.M. for ‘trumped-up-charges-for-no-apparent-reason’ (Read: “To get Harry out of her hair”), lives in Luxendarc: home of the Crystal Knights, Magic and other schools that Harry has never seen before, and a pair of Twins that bear a striking resemblence to himself.. albeit a few years older and lacking the ‘trademark lightning bolt scar’.

The ‘Matsuo Twins’ and Harry have crossed paths at least twice since Harry first arrive in Luxendarc. The first time? Well... Let’s just say that both parties were a tad confused and went on their seperate ways.

The second time that they ‘met’?

Harry was mistaken for one of the Matsuo Twins by a group of ruffians who thought Harry was one of them ‘on leave’.

The Ruffians only realised their mistake when the Twins themselves rescued their victim a couple minutes later... The Ruffians were sent to jail, and Harry was brought to an Inn to be looked after.

Not long after this the owls began to arrive for Harry. The avoided the twins like the plague.

Harry’s response to the letters?

“GO TO HADES! I AM BETTER OFF WHERE I AM THAN WITH YOU SHEEPLE!”


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: *ahem* And now for what you’ve all been waiting for... THE REJECTION LETTER! *eye smiles* and a song parody..

First a (paraphrased) Parody of: “They’re Taking The Hobbits To Isengard“ (original song not mine)

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and The Librarians belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 299

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #151
Submitted By: deathraptor22
===============================

Dear Ministry of Incompetent, Idiotic, Despots,

While I am impressed that you somehow managed to send these owls back to the 1800s, I must say that neither me of my dear Darrington and I were none too amused with their letters.

Due to an experiment with a time-travel spell, I am currently residing in the 1880s and could not come to comply with the marriage law even if I wanted to. Furthermore, I am already married to this century’s Librarian. I believe you are familiar with this organization.

If you have any ideas about attacking me or my husband, you should know that since my studies of the library, I have became a very powerful which, and my husband’s tattoo makes him immune to all magic. (It comes in handy when fights get out of hand and I do something I would otherwise later regret.) And we’re friends with the Librarians in your time as well. All three of them. And their guardian. Keep all of this in mind.

Sincerely,

Luna Lovegood Dare


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by deathraptor22. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Fate/Zero belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 529

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #152
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Dammit, you don’t rest, do you? You’re not content with screwing over my childhood, but you want to break up what is a very happy family. Okay, it is, admittedly, a rather strange one: my wife is Medusa.

Yes, THAT Medusa, though the whole snake hair thing was a distortion of myth. She does have a LOT of hair, though (the shampoo budget here is pretty big, as you can imagine). I brought her back to life inadvertently as a Servant in the latest Holy Grail War (and that was a debacle and no mistake), and she’s now living a very happy life with me. She certainly accepts my Parseltongue, as do my sister-in-laws, Stheno and Euryale.

To date, I only have one child by adoption: Sakura, formerly Tohsaka, now Potter. She’s the dearest, sweetest kid, and I’m proud to have her call me father. I’m sort of a substitute father to her rambunctious sister, Rin, whose father, sadly, passed away. And I’m an uncle of sorts to another spirited girl, Illyasviel. Not to mention that her father is Kiritsugu Emiya, aka the Magus Killer, and he still has King Arthur at his beck and call. No, really. And she’s a woman as well. Arthur Pendragon was actually Arturia, who knew?

Leaving aside my problems, I’m sure you’ve sent a similar missive to Hermione, ordering her to break off her engagement with Waver Velvet, newly dubbed Lord El-Melloi II, and both are under the protection of Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg. I have him, plus his ‘granddaughter’, Arcueid Brunestud, on speed-dial.

In case you don’t know who they are, they’re vampires, albeit of a VERY strong sort. Zelretch has forgotten more about magic than even Dumbledore has learned, and Arc, while nice, can tear people limb from limb if they annoy her too much.

If you persist in trying to enforce this on us, I think Clock Tower will classify the ensuing bout of petrifications as either death by stupidity or, more simply, suicide. Medusa is very protective of those she loves, just like I am. And I hear Arturia is VERY unhappy about Merlin’s teachings being forgotten or perverted. Don’t push your luck.

Yours insincerely,

Harry Potter

Husband of Medusa of the Gorgons


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Another one, based on my crossover story, “Gorgon and Thanatos“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 399

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #153
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

To whom it may concern,

Your missive was puzzling and... unpleasant. Harry and I will have to refuse your discourteous demands. He and I are bonded far more strongly than you can comprehend. It was thanks to Harry that I realised I could be something more than the hollow doll my creator made me. He completes me. Despite my powers and abilities that would be frightening to some, he loves me without reserve or judgement.

If you persist, know then that I am partially derived from the Second Angel Lilith, the progenitor of all humanity. My soul is partly Lilith’s as well. And when I underwent apotheosis during an abortive Third Impact, I gained the abilities of other Angels myself. Some, I use for amusement. Others, I use to defend myself. You forget the fate of Voldemort. He wished for immortality. He now wishes he didn’t. His soul, and that of many others, are trapped, while their bodies...well, I believe Pilot Sohryu dubbed what I did as ‘Tanging’.

And it is not just myself that you would face, but the entirety of the NERV remnant that made it to your universe. We have faced monsters that make Voldemort or your Ministry pale by comparison. I believe the school motto of Hogwarts applies here: Do not tickle a sleeping dragon.

Yours sincerely,

Rei Ayanami-Potter

The First Child


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Okay, another bit of shamless plugging, this one with my “Neon Genesis Evangelion“ crossover “Harry Potter And The Blue-Haired Angel“ (and please don’t use any italics or underlining or bolding here, Sakura Lisel: Rei is meant to be a quiet sort)”.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Resident Evil belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 424

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #154
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

To whom it may concern,

Your rather gauche missive, sent to my adoptive son, Henry Ashford (I am so sick of people addressing him as Harry Potter), was amusing for a time. But I’m afraid that, as his legal guardian, I will have to treat your demands with the great contempt it is due.

My son had only just married to one Hermione Granger shortly before your letter arrived, and he has also one Luna Lovegood as a very willing concubine. This is not merely a relationship born of carnal desire: Henry desires intellectual equals, and Hermione and Luna fill such a niche very well.

You also seem to have very short memories. You forgot the way my son used the biological enhancements I granted him to physically beat a dragon into submission during that farce you called the Tri-Wizard Tournament, in front of the press of your world.

You also forgot that I am now the CEO of the Umbrella Corporation, one of the most powerful corporations in the world. And you forgot, finally, that Henry and I have no desire to return to your world. I have my research into novel viral strains to conduct, and I do not wish to waste time dealing with your petty issues.

Of course, should you persist, we can engage in negotiations at my family’s ancestral seat of Rockfort Island. It has my favourite mansion, my favourite laboratory, and a prison that you are welcome to compare to Azkaban...from the inside, of course.

You have been adequately warned. Heed my warnings. Or maybe don’t. That would be entertaining.

Yours sincerely,

Lady Alexia Ashford, PhD

CEO of the Umbrella Corporation


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: And now, a shameless plug for my “Resident Evil“ crossover “Henry Ashford And The Goblet Of Fire“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Darkstalkers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 440

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #155
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

Dear Ministry of Morons,

You’ve been naughty. I didn’t have that high an opinion of the Ministry of Magic in your country (or elsewhere for that matter) when I was young, and the centuries have only proven that things only got worse. Then again, it’s no wonder you hold the bond between my sister and Harry in contempt, considering what we are.

When I was adopted by my father, he split my power into three parts. One of these parts ended up fusing with Harry when he was still in the womb, effectively giving him a soul with two entities attached to it. One is the Harry Potter you know and (if the letter and previous experience with one Dolores Umbridge is any indication) loathe, and the other is what I now like to call my little sister, Lilith.

You see, I am what you call a Darkstalker, a creature of the night. Specifically, I am a Succubus, and so too is Lilith. In a way, she’s like Harry’s familiar, but in truth, they are two halves of the same soul. Which makes Harry a Darkstalker too, technically, as he shares Lilith’s raw power, even if he’s no Succubus or Incubus.

Splitting their relationship would be lethal. Not that I think you’d care, given that little incident with the Dementors. But know that he is under the protection of my father, Belial Aensland, the Ruler of Makai, as well as myself. Oh, that’s right, I never introduced myself, did I? I’m Morrigan Aensland.

Ooh, I can just feel your fear upon reading that.

I think in retaliation for your insolence, I will start feeding on the more odious members of your pathetic excuse for a governing body. Be seeing you...

Hugs and kisses,

Morrigan Aensland


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: And another one, for my “Darkstalkers“ crossover “Never Tear Us Apart“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Street Fighter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 471

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #156
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Breaking up a magically-sanctioned marriage is impossible, and while our marriage admittedly happened in Las Vegas, it has stood the test of time so far. But allow me to explain why breaking us up is a REALLY bad idea...

  1. We work for Delta Red, the special forces wing of MI6. I’m sure MI6 will not be amused at the Ministry trying to overstep its boundaries after that debacle with Voldemort, and I know our comrades will be wanting to have words. In fact, ever since we read that letter out loud, I know that our comrade Luwanda has been sharpening her knives.
  2. My wife, Cammy, was created by M Bison, the leader of Shadaloo, as a spare body, and he conditioned her to be one of his ‘Dolls’, a group of brainwashed female soldiers. Even with his brainwashing removed, she has considerable skills in unarmed and armed combat, stealth... and assassination.
  3. We’re on good terms with some of the world’s best fighters, some of whom you may have seen in the Street Fighter competition recently. While many are Muggles, they have a fighting skill that borders on the magical. What’s more, at least two of them, Guile and Chun-Li, are high up in the ICPO, and are more than willing to testify to the ICW about this violation of international law, both mundane and magical.

Now, I’m sure this won’t dissuade you. Just know that anyone you send to try and enforce this will be going home with broken bones at a minimum. After Voldemort and Bison, I’m sick of this crap.

Yours insincerely,

Harry Potter

P.S. This is Cammy Potter. Note that ‘broken bones’ is a plural. As in, broken bones per person. My husband brought me out of an empty, bloody existence, and I will fight to keep him. Please do come on over, I need to keep up my training.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Finally, my “Street Fighter“ crossover, “Zen And The Art Of Magical Bonding Between Former Child Soldiers“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Fairy Tail belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 184

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #157
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Fuck Ups,

There is no way I’m going to let you have my little brother marry some bimbo! He’s not even four yet, and you guys want him to marry someone?!

If you guys try to get him, my friends and I of the Fairy Tail Guild would defend him!

From,

Laxus Of The Fairy Tale Guild


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Naruto belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 170

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #158
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

I don’t know who you guys are, but I want you to know one thing. My name is not Harry Potter and it never was!

So leave me alone, and if you don’t, I’ll just use you in my experiments.

From,

Orochimaru


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 201

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #159
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

WTF! WHY WOULD YOU SEND MY SON A LETTER SAYING HE HAS TO MARRY SOME BOY THAT HE’S NEVER MET?! HE’S ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLD AND THE THE BOY IS LIKE SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD!

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT’S ACCEPTABLE?! IT’S WAY CREEPY TO ASK A CHILD THAT, AND MY SON IS NOT A GIRL, AND HIS NAME IS NOT DAPHNE GREENGRASS!

From,

Son Chichi

Mother Of Son Goten


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Pokémon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 220

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #160
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #115
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

My name is not Harry Potter! It’s Ash Ketchum! I just found out about the letter you sent me, and I also found out about the letter my Pikachu sent as well a while back.

I’m not going to make Pikachu apologize, because I’m not going to marry someone I haven’t met, and I’m too young to marry as well.

I have managed to stop Pikachu from sending Arceus to you, but if you don’t stop, I’ll let Pikachu send him.

From,

Ash Ketchum


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 189

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #161
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

My name is not Holly Potter! My name is Android 18, or Lazuli. I recently found out that the Potters abandoned me when they thought I was a squib.

So, I will not be returning to them, nor will I marry someone I haven’t met, especially since I’m already married and I have a kid already.

From,

Android 18/Lazuli


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Super Mario Brothers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 181

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #162
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #130
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Idiots,

MY SON HAS ALREADY SAID THAT HE’S NOT NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM! NOR DOES HE WANT TO MARRY SOME HUMAN GIRL!

HE’S NOT HUMAN AND IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO COME BURN YOU IDIOTS INTO A CRISP, YOU’LL LEAVE HIM ALONE!

From,

King Of The Koopas

Bowser


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 226

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #163
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #117
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

DO YOU GUYS LISTEN AT ALL?! BECAUSE I SAID TO LEAVE LUNA ALONE! WE TOLD YOU THAT SHE’S MARRIED TO ME AND THAT SHE’S ALREADY HAVING MY CHILD!

BUT THEN YOU SAID FOR HER TO HAVE AN ABORTION, AND FOR HER TO MARRY A ‘PROPER‘ PUREBLOOD, NOT SOME BEAST!

WELL IT’S NOT HAPPENING, BECAUSE I LOVE LUNA, AND SHE SAID THAT SHE DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE ME OR THE BABY UP!

EVEN MY FRIENDS, LINK AND PRINCESS ZELDA, WERE DISGUSTED!

From,

Prince Sidon Of The Zora Race


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bleach belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 176

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #164
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #129
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

LEAVE MY LITTLE SISTER ALONE! KARIN IS TOO YOUNG TO GET MARRIED! SHE’S NOT EVEN A TEENAGER AND YOU WANT HER TO MARRY SOME GUY?!

SO LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE!

From,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Older Brother Of Karin Kurosaki

P.S. HER NAME IS NOT HERMIONE GRANGER!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Pokémon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 332

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #165
Submitted By: Right What Is Wrong
===============================

To whom it may concern,

Please update your forms. I have not been “Harry Potter” since I was adopted.

Furthermore, I will be sending agents to investigate how you obtained this address. The CORRECT mailing address, for future reference, is:

1 Gym Road

Viridian City

Kanto

Any mail which you send there will be conveyed to me through methods I do not wish to disclose.

Your malformed Hoothoot found me at my private business, with which I do not wish my name or title to be associated for tax purposes. Do not send me any further mail at this address unless you are willing to suffer the repercussions.

Signed,

Boss Rocket

P.S. Your nonsensical demands are so absurd that I wondered if I should even deign to formally reject them. Since you appear mentally impaired, I suppose that I must.

I do not recognize the authority of your ministry and I would not comply with your laws even if I did. Your threats in case of my noncompliance are deeply amusing. You are welcome to personally visit me at this address at any time of your choosing, if you think yourselves so mighty. My Nidoking hasn’t had a proper workout in some time.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Right What Is Wrong. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Lovecraft belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 316

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #166
Submitted By: Right What Is Wrong
===============================

To you idiots in England,

Ha! You really do think yourselves fine wizards, don’t you? I would reckon you do not even know your Aklo, nor the Dho formula. And have you any notion of how to begin to make the Voorish sign? I suspect you do not know what those are - fools that you are, who banished my honorable ancestors for fear of what lay beyond the veil that covers this world, as though mere ignorance would spare you.

My dear daughter Lavinia, - not “Harriet”, you half-wit Philistines - is already married, and like to have twins very soon. I would advise you not to meddle with that which wedded her, but if you must, please send advanced notice so I can invite friends and colleagues from around this world to attend; such as a sight as your folly will bring down upon this Earth is seen but once in a millennium, and I won’t deny them the right to see.

Yours,

Zechariah “Old” Whateley


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Right What Is Wrong. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Right What Is Wrong: This one has major timeline issues, but I suppose the timelines can be shifted accordingly.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,153

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #167
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear Moronic Tossers of the Ministry of Magic,

About the delusional idea you people seem to have of my ‘submitting‘ myself to become the personal fuck toy of some psychotic inbred, and obviously brain damaged from generations of inbreeding, pompous windbag of a Pureblood wizard and start pumping out babies for your societies future continued existence, I will have to politely decline that insane idea. Hell will freeze over and Satan will be giving away free sled rides in hell before THAT will EVER happen for ANY reason, so you can all just dry up and die horrible and painful deaths and go extinct for all I care right now.

Bloody get with the bloody program, you jackasses. I bloody LEFT your society FOUR YEARS AGO! If I was going to ever come back, I would have done it years ago, but as far as I’m concerned, there is nothing that is worth going back there for, since the final battle against Voldemort cost me the lives of anybody who could have made me even consider coming back over there even for a visit. Besides that, as far as I am concerned, I already did my one and only ‘duty’ to you people, and I don’t ‘owe’ you anything else at all.

Thanks to your little law, I now sure as hell will not be coming back for any reason now that its somehow now ‘required‘ by law to legally allow myself to be RAPED by a arrogant racist pig of YOUR chosing and pump his demon spawn from my body against my will just so you people can ‘survive’ at my expense?! No way in hell! No matter how you want to pretty the idea up, its still considered rape in some countries if nobody’s willing to do it dumbasses.

Not only that, but guess what? I’m already in a loving relationship with my current boyfriend, Raphael Yoshi, and I have no intention of leaving him to take part in something I have no wish to be involved in, so you can shove your law where the sun don’t shine.

Besides if you bothered take a look at the picture I enclosed with this letter, along with the accompanying medical reports from my local wizarding hospital, you would have realized by now that thanks to my current condition that I should now automatically be considered disqualified from your lame law just on principle, seeing how you people feel about non-humans.

Yes, the beautiful Lizard girl posing in a bikini in the magically animated photo who is also repeatedly giving you losers the ‘bird’ gesture with both hands is supposed to be me. Thanks to a... potions accident two years ago involving the Polyjuice potion, my body is now permanently locked in the body of a humanoid Salamander girl.

Trust me when I say that it’s irreversible. I’ve already seen lots of healers on this matter and nobodys been able to change me back or come up with a good idea to change me back.

Not that I’m complaining anymore now that I have my darling Raph and his family in my life, who doesn’t mind my new look in the slightest, and he and his family and all of our friends are more than willing to help me fight off anybody who you try sending after me.

Insincerely yours,

Monalisa Rose Potter

P.s. Good luck trying to confiscate my family vaults. In fact just to help you out on the matter, I’ve even taken the liberty to already send a letter to the goblins giving them full permission to hand over my old vaults to you with my full blessing if you come to Gringotts to confiscate them. I don’t even need them anymore. *cackles* Too bad for you, except for about one hundred and fifty galleons, seventy-five sickles, and fifty knuts that I left in each of my seven family vaults, there isn’t much left for you to confiscate because I already cleaned out everything that was worth keeping, back when I left the country four years ago and had all of it transferred to a branch Gringotts bank near where I am living that has higher security and won’t bend over backwards to give you my property, especially with all the money I paid them to ensure the highest level security maintance that they possess. So you will just have to make do with the money I left behind. *cackles* Have fun spending it. It was just collecting dust over there anyway while I was away so I’m sure you can find a better use for it.

P.P.S. Before you get any ideas, the answer is no you can’t use your recently made law to legally accuse me of stealing it. Like I said before, MY money hasn’t been on British soil in four years, and I have become a legalized citizen of the American wizarding world and I have also renounced my citizenship with England. There was no law back then that forbade me from having it transferred elsewhere, and my M.A.C.U.S.A. appointed lawyers say that your lame marriage law has no claim to my wealth now, since its no longer on your shores so you have no legal right trying to demand that I send it back to you. If you want to throw a fit about it, take it up with my friends and allies in M.A.C.U.S.A., and see where it gets you.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

If anyone is wondering about who Monalisa Potter is, for those of you who dont remember or never heard of this TMNT character, back in the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon canon, she was a real Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles character who showed up in the old hour long Saturday morning cartoon series. She was a teenage mutant Salamander girl, who used to be human. She and Raphael hit it off well in that episode, and I thought it would be a nice idea to do one involving Monalisa. lol


Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Marvel’s Deadpool belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 222

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #168
Submitted By: Jostanos
Sequel to: Letter #76
===============================

Oh deary dear-dear-dear... it seems that we’ve not learned our lessons after all.

Explosions! *moans* Sonic Booms! *moans again* GASP! An INDIGNATION! OH! I love that ARTE! *coughs* but I digress.

It is a wonder that ... then again with the MULTIVERSE the way it is.. NAH!

OH! By the way.. A quote from Deidara the mad Bomber from Naruto: “Art is An EXPLOSION!”

*tosses a couple of grenades into the Wizengamut chambers then teleports to a safe location*

BOOM!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: And now: yet another Deadpool-ish letter.. Enjoy! *eye smiles*

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Full Metal Alchemist belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 192

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #169
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

To whom it may concern,

Why are you bothering me? I’m already married to my beautiful wife and I have a cute, adorable daughter so why would I want to leave them to marry some bimbo from some country that’s even more backwards than WE SEEM TO BE!

Go ahead and send more of your troops to us. We could use more recruits.

Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default-Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 202

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #170
Submitted By: Jostanos
Sequel to: Letter #138
===============================

Alas.. It wasn’t meant to be. The Ministry Morons kept on sending the letters, and even managed to send a few Aurors to Luxendarc to capture Harry, Kill Praline, and bring Harry back to the ‘Bride’ that the Ministry picked for him.

*sighs and shakes his head* The Aurors were out of their league and were beaten almost as soon as they raided the Alamode-Potter home.

How? Sadly that information is Classified.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bleach belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,095

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #171
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

Dear Incompetent BUFFOONS of the Ministry of Magic,

Are you people bloody SERIOUS?! Just who do you people think you are, to send me this farce of a marriage law demand, as if you seriously think that I of all people will comply with it? Don’t even think about forcing me into taking part of this immature, barbaric marriage law, because I swear I will decapitate anyone who dares show up on my doorstep to try and bring me back, and send their dissected remains back in tiny little boxes to show my displeasure.

I am no longer a citizen of England and have no reason to ‘come home’ and be married off to some incompetent inbred moron of the governments choice. I have more important things to do with my time than to be bothered with this nonsense, and I am a very busy woman who has more important things to do with her life and body than to get married and pump out babies in order to ‘help repopulate the magical world’ with a complete stranger who I didn’t pick out myself.

Even if you do somehow manage to force me to go along with this stupid law, I also swear that I will personally castrate and then stir fry and then force feed the genitals of any would be groom you morons TRY and ‘chose’ for me before I will allow myself to be forced into this farce of a law. After I castrate them, they will be spending the forseeable future as my human guinea pig as I test my latest experiments on them until I either get bored and eventually let them go or they eventually die.

You say that you have my ‘families’ permission to put me through this farce of a law? Ha! Good luck with that! I have formerly disowned myself from those buffoons long before I left England over five years ago, so they have no say in anything to do with me, nor can they legally decide my life for me or try and tell me exactly who I will marry as if they had some right to do so, not that they ever did to begin with. By the way, I also do not even answer to my old name anymore. I had it legally changed in both the magical and muggle worlds when I left. You may now consider that the girl you are looking for girl no longer exists in the eyes of the law.

I’m also sure that they must have told you what happened to one Ronald Billious Weasley when they TRIED setting me up with HIM of all people, just because he took a ‘fancy‘ to me and everyone ‘agreed’ and thought that the two of us would fit perfectly together, especially since his sister was already dating my idiot brother, Zayden Potter. I hear a rumour that the Weasley buffoon is still locked up in St. Mungos psychiatric ward screaming his fool head off because of our last encounter. *cackles*

The main reason the buffoon wound up in his current condition, is because I am protected by a ancient, and unbreakable, Laws of Arcadia contract which I personally drew up with the goblins back when I was twelve. It is a law that all magical governments acknowledge depending on the terms written on the contract basically automatically blocks any and all attempts to force me into a situation I do not want to be in, unless I personally agree to it. Anybody who tries to ignore and ursurp the contract against the drafter of the contract wishes shall wind up in the same condition as one Ronald Weasley or worse.

Sadly for you incompetent morons at the ministry, thanks to the Laws of Arcadia contract, you can not force me to obey your silly marriage law unless I agree to go through with it which will never happen. The contract will also automatically nullifies any attempts to change my mind through potions and spells.

Thanks to this law, I also plan to update the terms of my contract soon just in case, and I assure you don’t want to know what will happen if you force the issue, with the new terms I plan to put in place are in effect.

Don’t waste my prescious time anymore by bothering to contact me on this matter again.

Insincerely yours,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Formerly know as Juniper Potter

P.S. Don’t mind my Snowy owl, Hedwig, along with my Northern White Faced Owl, Calcifer, too much during their temporary stay at the ministry. I specifically told Calcifer that upon Hedwig delivering my response letter to not leave until he has properly showed my displeasure to you miscreants by giving you the Glare of Doom for the next half hour or so while you read it. He is highly intelligent and can understand what you say, and both Hedwig and he also have my express permissioon to attack anybody who tries to either hurt them either to make Calcifer stop glaring at them, or if they hears somebody plotting something against me.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

This letter is based off of my fanfic story The Insane Scientist, which I adopted from theBlackSeaReaper. lol

If anyone wants to know what the ‘Glare of Doom‘ looks like on a Northern White Faced Owl go to Youtube and check out the video known as ‘Transformer Owl‘, and see it in action. Northern White Faced Owl’s can change their appearance in two stages to look intimidating to others when they think its being threatened, and its the Stage 2 look that Calcifer is giving the ministry. Or its ‘evil‘ mode as the video calls it. Other than Hedwig, I think this would be the perfect type of owl for someone like Mayuri. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bleach belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,022

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #172
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To whom it may concern in the Ministry of Magic of Britain,

Kindly please STOP sending me these incessant letters that are demanding that I return to England to take part in your silly marriage law, because I swear to you right now that it will NEVER happen, that I assure you without a single doubt in my mind. I am not a citizen of your society as far as I am concerned and I am also not obligated to help you with your petty little ‘repopulation problem’, even if I could help you.

I have had enough of your societys constant harassment upon my person to last me several lifetimes, thanks to the kidnapping attempt of Albus Dumbledore and my former family years ago when they tried to force me to fight YOUR Dark Lord problem.

You claim that my ‘parents‘, James and Lily Potter, gave you ‘permission‘ to sell me off in your marriage law? Thats a laugh, seeing how those two magically disowned me when I was a baby right after they illegally stripping me of MY magic to give it to my Squib brother, Rowan Potter, who all of you worshipped and thought was your saviour. By your own laws, the Potters are no longer my family no thanks to the magical disownment and no longer have any power to decide ANYTHING involving me. They destroyed that right the day they chose to disown me from their family using magic.

Thanks to the magical disownment, legally my name is no longer evem Willow Astrid Potter. I have a new name and a new family now, and I refuse all familial claims the Potters might try and make upon me, now that their preferred child has lost the STOLEN magic and reverted him back to being the Squib he SHOULD be, that has returned to me its rightful owner.

I do not even understand how your owls are able to even find me in order to deliver your letters, because half the time I’m not even in the living world in order for your owls to be swooping in and dive bombing your letters upon me. Magic is truly wondrous if it allows owls to travel to the land of the dead to deliver mail.

Yes I said the ‘Living World’ and ‘Land of the Dead‘, there is nothing wrong with your eyes or reading skills, nor am I crazy for saying this. You people at the ministry should KNOW this already by now that I am DEAD. I have been DEAD since I was FOUR years old when my former muggle relatives MURDERED me in cold blood, by leaving me to starve to death in a broom cupboard under the stairs.

I even have a grave with my name on it over in St. Helen’s Anglican Church over in Surrey as proof of my claims if you bothered to go look. If you do look, ask the curators that work there to take you to grave plot #1250, that’s where my four year old selfs former earthly remains have been buried for the last two decades.

Despite being as backwater as you wizards are, I am sure that you must have a magical way to identify the remains as being mine despite how long the body had been dead. All you have to do is magically test its genetic makeup with my former parents to get a perfect match, if you chose to have the body dug up.

My being dead is also another thing the Potters can’t hold over me anymore with their claims that I am their daughter. Because biologically speaking, I CEASED being THEIR daughter in ANY way the day my FORMER mortal body, which DID have blood ties to them, took its final breath, and is now lying six feet under and is now rotting away in a muggle graveyard in Surrey for the last eighteen years. All blood ties connecting me to the Potters no longer exists as far as I am concerned, so they have no right claiming otherwise.

If you are wandering how I am writing to you now if I am dead, it is because shortly after my death, I was found and later adopted by a Shinigami, or Soul/Grim Reaper, named Mayuri Kurotsuchi. He saw potential in me, and took me in instead of letting me pass on, and since then I’ve been training to become a Soul Reaper myself since then.

Because of my new station in the afterlife, I am now physically not the four year old I was when I died, but I definitely am still as dead as I was when I first died, so I am no good for your marriage law anyways since the dead can not procreate with the living. It is against the laws of nature.

Insincerely yours,

Nemuri Kurotsuchi

Daughter of Lord Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Formerly known as Willow Astrid Potter

P.s. My father says that he dares the incompetent bufoons in the Ministry of Magic to just TRY and come after me. He’s already making plans to dissect and experiment on any survivors who somehow manage to find my location just to see how you wizards tick, and I will happily join him in his endeavors.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

This letter is based off of my fanfic story The Daughter, which I adopted from theBlackSeaReaper. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Full Metal Alchemist belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 794

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #173
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To whom it may concern,

No, nada, nein, no way, not EVER going to happen, even if I were the last witch on the entire planet, will I EVER ‘submit’ myself to your lame little marriage law. I have NOT called YOUR country ‘home’ in over TWENTY-FIVE YEARS since I was SIX YEARS OLD. I do not LIVE there, so I am NOT subjugated to whatever laws you make up.

Yes I know I am older than I SHOULD be, but back when I was six I was transported over two decades into the past into Amestris where I grew up. I had no memory of my first six years other than my name, and nothing else. I am not the young girl whom you obviously were expecting when you sent this ridiculous letter to me and even if I was the answer would STILL be HELL NO!.

I am also a seasoned war hero of my adopted home country, who will defend herself with LETHAL FORCE if I have to against you people, and I have obligations over here that are far more important to me and those I care about than some the imaginary obligations of a government belonging to a backwater, boondock little country that I haven’t lived in since I was a child, may want to pretend to think I supposedly owe to them.

The only reason I even know about you people now, is because as you should already know, Albus Dumbledore managed to track me down a few years ago, and and after some negotiations, hired me to TEMPORARILY come back to England to deal with YOUR dark lord problem. I should have let you people rot, but my leader at the time Fuhrher Bradley made it an order that I go. Once the job was done as far as I was concerned, I couldn’t get out there fast enough to get back home to Amestirs, and I refuse to go back now.

I have never been a part of YOUR society, never stepped FOOT in it other than help with your dark lord problem. I do not owe you people anything else involving myself, nor have I done anything to make you ASSUME that you can write to ME about your stupid marriage law and ASSUME that I will leave my current life and family to go take part in it just because you say I will.

I am also ALREADY a HAPPILY married woman, and I am a proud and honored citizen of the country Amestris and, as far as I am concerned, I am under no such ‘obligation’ to dump my husband in order to take part in YOUR countries silly little marriage law, just because I had the mishap of being born there.

My government wishes me to convey to you that your ministries ILLEGAL attempts at kidnapping me to bring me back against my will will be countered with brute force. Your aurors entered our country illegally, and tried to break into both my home and the military base where I work to try and arrest me. They have all been caught and executed for their crimes against a soldier of Amestris.

If you wish to pursue this matter, my government will see this as a declaration of WAR and we will come to YOUR country and raze your society to the ground before they will allow you to take one of their own soldiers away.

Though compared to what my husband, Roy Mustang, says he would do to you people, you’ll be lucky for a quick and hopefully painless death as you are burned alive under his attacks, for even thinking that you can make me leave him for ANY reason.

Insincerely yours,

Major Liana “The Graveyard Alchemist” Eden Mustang (nee Potter-Bradley)

Adopted Daughter of Führer King Bradley of Amestris

Wife of Colonel Roy “The Flame Alchemist” Mustang


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

This letter is based off of my fanfic story The Graveyard Alchemist, which I adopted from theBlackSeaReaper. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Full Metal Alchemist belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 298

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #174
Submitted By: Jostanos
Sequel to: Letters #169 & #173
===============================

To the SOON-to-be-defeated-Ministry-of-MORONS,

If your first wave of troops becoming cadets of our military, and your second wave trying to capture ‘Graveyard’ wasn’t enough of a warning for you.. *sighs*

By the Order of Fuhrher Bradley, this is a declaration of WAR between our two countries!

The Queen of your society has been notified about the situation and has agreed that your transgressions over the years are acts of TREASON against the Crown.. In other words:

Her Majesty has given her consent for us to ‘take care‘ of her ‘Backwards Society‘ problem. The ‘Mundane’, or “Muggle/No-Maj” side of things will be protected from the Chaos that will ensue.

Again.. YOU WERE WARNED! But you CHOSE to ignore the warnings.

So.. In the words of a friend of mine: ‘Bye-Bye, BAKAS!’ *eye smiles*.

Lt. Col. Jostanos “Sonic” Crux


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: This is in response to both my last FMA letter and Letter #173. Please feel free to build off it. :) )

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Lucifer belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 294

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #175
Submitted By: WhiteElfElder
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic

Thank you ever so much for sending me this letter. I have not laughed so hard in such a long time. I have taken the opportunity to respond to you because it tickled me, and so I can test my latest creation...a nano virus that will spread to approximately 150Km and will make every living thing with the M-Gene to be completely sterile; it should stay viable for approximately ten years and spread at a rate of about 1 mile per second squared.

Further, it will erode any magical item it touches of magic over approximately 2.5 hours... faster for more enriched magical items.

The one that cares not...

Lucifer Damien Morningstar

Formerly Harry Potter

P.S. So, seeing as just about everyone in Magical Britain is now unable to have kids... I guess the law is now mute.

P.P.S. I did warn all other magical governments to put up their barriers against your citizens and provided them the nullifier for the virus.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by WhiteElfElder. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bendy And The Ink Machine belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 181

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #176
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

I can’t marry some girl you have for me because I’m not human anymore. I haven’t been human since that jackass Joey Drew did some ritual on me turning me into a toon. So I can’t marry her.

Sincerely,

Bendy the Dancing Demon

Formerly know as Draco Malfoy


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Friday The 13th belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 167

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #177
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry of Idiots,

My son won’t be marrying some whore whom you’ve chosen for him. I won’t allow it. If you or anyone try to get him, we will both kill anyone who tries.

A fair warning.

Sincerely,

Pamela Voorhees


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Nightmare On Elm Street belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 162

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #178
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry of Fuckers,

I won’t marry some slut you’ve chosen for me. For one I’m already dead, and two I’ll kill her in her dreams if you keep pushing it.

Sincerely,

Freddy Krueger


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Annabelle belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 160

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #179
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry of Dumbassess,

You want me to marry a girl I don’t know?! You really are stupid, aren’t you? I can’t because I’m a doll, and I’m also a female one!

Sincerely,

Annabelle


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 154

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #180
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

My Master doesn’t want to marry some girl. And he also wants to make it clear that he would never do so.

Sincerely,

The Grand Priest


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Tom And Jerry belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 178

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #181
Submitted By: bleach103
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Dear Ministry Of Magic,

We’re both shocked that we both got this ridiculous letter saying we both got to marry some human girl!

Tom and I are both speechless at the letter since we’re boh animals and we are confused as to why we both got letters for this.

Sincerely,

Tom and Jerry


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Creepypasta belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 219

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #182
Submitted By: bleach103
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Dear Ministry of Assholes,

I’ll not let you take my lover! She got tired of the magical world making her look like a liar. When she went home to her relative’s home, they beat her up for being magical, so she snapped and killed all of them.

Then Slender came along and brought her to the mansion to become one of us, and later we fell in love and we won’t leave each other.

So don’t even try to separate us! She doesn’t even care if I have Tourette syndrome.

Sincerely,

Toby Rogers


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bleach belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 168

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #183
Submitted By: bleach103
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Dear Ministry Of Magic,

I don’t know why you want my wife to marry some dick, but that’s not going happen, since we’re already married for over TWENTY YEARS. Plus we are dead so it’s still not going to happen.

Sincerely,

Gin Ichimaru


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Game of Thrones belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 491

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #184
Submitted by: Quatermass
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To the Ministry of Magic,

It is sad, but true, that your missive was far from the most arrogant thing I have ever heard in my life, short though it has been. I had heard much from my older brother Viserys, and since returning to the world of my birth and ascending the Iron Throne, I have heard much arrogance the likes of which you would be hard-pressed to aspire to emulate. Not that I wish for you to do so, but I digress.

When Harry and I received this letter, with it somehow being sent to this world long after we decided to leave Magical Britain (thanks in part to your actions against us), we were, understandably, angered by your impudence and your familiarity. It is one thing to receive a request, ludicrous though it may be. It is another to be ordered like one of the smallfolk.

But I am the Queen of Westeros, the First of Her Name, with a list of titles I do not feel inclined to copy down at this point. And while I will take counsel from those I trust, I refuse to be dictated to by a group of arrogant fools who had treated the love of my life, not to mention his friends and, of course, myself, with such contempt.

You forgot too readily what Harry, my Prince Consort, is capable of. You believe that I am merely a woman without power that can be brought to heel by threats. But I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. The blood of Old Valyria runs through my veins. And those who dare to harm myself, my loved ones, and those under my protection will die screaming. You have been adequately warned. Fail to heed my warnings at your peril. Any attempt to press the issue will be repaid with my House’s words, Fire and Blood.

Queen Daenerys Targaryen I


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Okay, time for more letters from me to shamelessly plug my fics... :P

Firstly, a plug for “A Union of Dragons“, my crossover with “Game of Thrones“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Final Fantasy X belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 427

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #185
Submitted by: Quatermass
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Dear Ministry of Morons,

Wow. Seriously, I thought I was declared dead back home. And we’re in another world. Spira, to be precise. And yet, somehow, you managed to send this stupid bloody letter shortly after we got back from our honeymoon. Great timing, idiots.

When I was still thought to be alive, before Padfoot and I had a pratfall through the Veil, you guys wanted neither hide nor hair of me. I was at my lowest point, bluntly...and then, I met her. The girl who became my girlfriend, and now, my wife.

Rikku’s cute, a genius when it comes to machinery, and the daughter of the leader of the Al Bhed. She helped me recover from what you bastards did to me, even as we set out to save the world, well, Spira, from a genocidal hellbeast called Sin. Long story short, we succeeded, despite a lot of crap going on.

Now, amongst our friends, we have two of the world’s best mages, and while Yuna can’t use Summoning magic anymore, she still knows other magic. And Lulu takes a very dim view of stupid people... which makes me wonder why she shacked up with Wakka, but anyway, that’s beside the point. We, amongst others, were in the group that took down Sin. A MASSIVE beast that nothing else could kill before. Think about that, if you’re able to.

We’re also friends with an incredibly ancient mage by the name of Yunalesca, and you don’t want to get on her bad side. But by all means, try. Just remember, we’ll have a welcoming party of Al Bhed with guns waiting for you.

Yours insincerely,

Harry Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: And now, a shameless plug for my “Final Fantasy X“ crossover, “Cycle of Sin“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Homestuck belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 310

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #186
Submitted by: Quatermass
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D34R M1N1STRY of 1D1OTS,

F1RST OF 4LL, 1’D L1K3 TO S4Y... BL34GH! YOUR L3TT3R T4ST3S HORR1BL3! WHO3V3R BUYS YOUR P4RCHM3NT H4S T0 B3 F1R3D. PR3F3R4BLY OUT OF 4 C4NNONS 1NTO TH3 SUN!

S3CONDLY, WH4T 4R3 YOU SMOK1NG? 3V3N B4CK HOM3 ON 4LT3RN14, 4RR4NG3D M4RR14G3S W3R3 NOT 4 TH1NG, 4ND JUST 4S W3LL. TH3 WHOL3 PROC3SS OF M4T1NG W4S B4D 3NOUGH, WH4T W1TH TH3 QU4DR4NTS 4ND TH3 BUCK3TS 4ND TH3 CULL1NG DRON3S.

H4RRY...W3LL, OF1UCO 4MDU4T, TO G1V3 H1S PROP3R TROLL N4M3, 1S MY M4T3SPR1T, 4ND M1N3 ALON3! FOR THOS3 R34D1NG TH1S L3TT3R WHO DON’T KNOW WH4T TH4T M34NS, 1T B4S1C4LLY M34NS W3’R3 BOYFR13ND 4ND G1RLFR13ND BY HUM4N’S L1M1T3D UND3RST4ND1NG OF OUR W4YS.

YOU W4NN4 4RGU3 4BOUT TH1S? F1N3, YOUR FUN3RAL. 1 MAY B3 BL1ND, BUT 1 W4S 4LSO TR41N1NG TO B3 4 L3G1SL4C3R4TOR B4CK HOME. 1N SHORT, 1 C4N K1CK YOUR 4RS3S. W3 M4Y NOT B3 L1K3 TH3 TROLLS YOU’R3 F4M1L14R W1TH, BUT YOU SHOULD ST1LL B3 4FR41D.

YOURS 1N CONT3MPT,

T3R3Z1 PYROP3 :P


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: And now, my “Homestuck“ crossover, “Kakistocracy“... just don’t mind the lettering, it’s how Terezi writes...

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 169

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #187
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #161
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Dear Ministry Of Magic,

I have already sent a letter stating that I won’t marry some idiot you’ve chosen for me, and I also stated that I’m already married, so stop sending those letters!

Sincerely,

Android 18 Aka Lazuli


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 143

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #188
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letters #98 and #180
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Dear Ministry Of Magic,

Stop sending my Master those letters.

Sincerely,

The Grand Priest


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 164

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #189
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #159
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Dear Ministry Of Magic,

STOP SENDING MY SON THESE LETTERS, AND STOP CALLING ME A LIAR!

Sincerely,

Son Chi-Chi

P.S My husband and oldest son will go to you guy if you don’t stop!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bendy And The Ink Machine belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 203

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #190
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #103
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Dear Ministry Of Magic,

I already wrote a letter stating that I’m not a human, but a toon transformed by accidental magic, and that I already have a new family and my wife, Alice!

When I showed them the letter that you sent to me, they all got upset and told me that they didn’t want me to go, and I told them that I’m not going to.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and One Piece belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,014

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #191
By: Sakura Lisel
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To Whom It May Concern,

I don’t know how you people even managed to track me down all the way to the All Blue Sea of my homeworld in order to deliver your stupid letter, but I suggest to you right now that you leave me be. For one thing, the poor owls that had to track me down were half dead by the time they finally tracked me down because of all the sea traveling I do, and it took them a week and a half of bed rest before they were able to go on their way to return with this letter.

For the infinity time, I am not this Harry Potter you speak of, at least not anymore. Back when I was a child, I lost all of my memories of who I once was and I became a completely new person to compensate for the memory loss, and I have no wish to become somebody I can not even remember ever being to begin with just to make people who mean nothing to me ‘happy’, at the cost of my own happieness. Who knows, maybe if I was still Harry Potter, I might have considered going along with your law, but since I’m not him I have no sense of obligation to do so, when as far as I am concerned, I already have someone who is far better in my life than anybody you people could even hope to try and pick for me as my future bride and I am not willing to give her up for some ludicrous law that was made in a society I don’t even live in.

I’ve already been over this with Albus Dumbledore hundreds of times, back when my crew and I were dragged back to your world a few years ago for some Triwizard Tournament that was going on at Hogwarts, where I learned of my forgotten past then. Turns out that over where you are, I’ve been missing for three years, since the time I was eleven years old during the summer after my first year of school, but thanks to my amnesia, my earliest memory upon waking up in the world I now call home, I was physically six years old when I lost my memories of who I once was. I didn’t even have a clue of what my name was, let alone my actual age despite what my body looked like at the time of my awakening.

As I have also already told the esteemed headmaster, ever since that first day I have spent nearly thirty years without my memories of being Harry Potter before I was dragged back to your world against my will, and I have no interest in becoming Harry Potter again. Whoever that boy might have become if I hadn’t been sent away with amnesia, no longer exists. As far as I am concerned, he is dead and buried and will never return. As far as I am concerned, that part of my life died the day I was sent away without my memories and deaged to that of a six year old and nearly beaten to death by whoever had me before I was sent away, and I was basically reborn as Marco D. Anders. The way I see it, if I was meant to become Harry Potter again, it would have happened in the thirty years I was away before I was forced back against my will.

I do not care for the laws and standards of a society I can’t even remember.I do not feel obligated to take on the ‘responsibilites’ and ‘duties’ of a DEAD person who hasn’t existed in a LONG time. I have no interest in ‘returning home’ to take part in a Marriage Law that exists in a society I have no interest in being a part of. I am quite happy in my current life and will not leave it for anything. You have no power over me

Plus if you must know, I am already happily married to the woman of my dreams by the name of Robin Anders nee Nico, and have no want or need for another woman in my life, and will not abandon Robin for anybody, let alone a law made by a incompetent government who in my eyes makes the Marines and Celestial Dragons over here look like a bunch of good natured, pacifist angels in comparison, if you seriously think anybody is going to willingly do what you say concerning this law just because you say they will do it.

Not only that, but thanks to my time here in the All Blue world, I am a lot older than what I’m supposed to be back in your world, especially after my last visit over there. As tempting as it might be, I have no interest in being married off to some scarlet woman I don’t know who’s probably half my my current age. Even for a pirate, even I have standards on what kind of woman I would take to my bed.

Insincerely yours,

Captain Marco D. Anders of the White Beard Phoenix Pirates

Formerly known as Harry James Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

This letter is based off of my fanfic story The Phoenix Requiem. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Pirates Of The Caribbean belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 667

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #192
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested By: Gabriel Herrol
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To Whom It May Concern,

Yeah, no thanks. I’m a confirmed, and currently very happy, bachelor who plans to spend the rest of his days free as a bird, and have no intention to getting married any time soon, for any reason, especially to some woman I’ve never met that some government officials I’ve never heard of before ‘chose her’ for me.

Besides that, is the year on this letter a joke or what? 2001? It’s not going to be 2001 for another four hundred years or so. Your delivery birds must be mighty talented in getting their mail delivered if they can travel through time, or whatever, if the year on the letter is correct somehow. Though it would explain why the bird turned up half dead when it arrived. I let it rest for a few weeks onboard my ship as we traveled the seas with plenty of good food and water before it felt strong enough to make the return trip home.

The name is Captain Jack Sparrow of the infamous Black Pearl. Remember it, and kindly stop calling me by this ridiculous ‘Harry Potter’ name because it is not my name. The sea is my home and my life is always filled with danger and excitement, and I refuse to give it all up and settle down on land to set up camp and get married and produce a bunch of squalling brats in order to help your ‘repopulation problems’, savvy. Your low population problem is none of my concern and I do not feel obiged to help you ‘fix it’, especially since my name is not even on the letter you sent.

I don’t know who this ‘Harry Potter’ you are writing to, who’s letter your bloody delivery owl wouldn’t leave me alone until I took it from it. I’ve never even heard the name before, and have no clue why you and this bloody owl think I am him, or why you assume that you can make me marry when I don’t want to. I refuse to settle down with just woman when there are plenty of birds out there who I can share my love with instead of settling for just one, especially if its some wench I don’t even know.

I am also far too busy with far more interesting things than to get settled down in marriage before I am ready to settle down. Besides that, I would only put my would be wife’s life in constant danger because of the life I lead and all of the enemies I have made over the years will target her as well. I’ve never even heard of this ‘Wizarding Society’ before, nor do I even know WHERE it is in order to go there to ‘sign up’ for your marriage law even if I was interested in getting married.

Insincerely yours,

Captain Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently requested to my PM box by Gabriel Herrol who wanted a letter written by Harry Potter.

The requested letter idea was to make Harry somehow have traveled back in time to the Pirates age and became known as the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates Of The Caribbean. *lol*

Thanks for the request. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Pirates Of The Caribbean belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,423

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #193
By: Sakura Lisel
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To Whom It May Concern,

This is truly either madness... or utter brilliance that you people have the nerve to send this type of letter to me of all people. Your delivery owl is very lucky to have found me during one of the days that my ship was above sea level. Usually we are sailing the seas under the water, and we can go for days/weeks/months we come back to the surface.

Neville Frank Longbottom. It has been such an extremely long time since I last heard that particular name, that I’ve nearly forgotten that it was mine at one point in my life until I changed my name to my current one.

Seeing what year it is right now, I’m surprised you even bothered sending me this letter begin with, because I bet after being ‘missing’ for about fifteen years, my former family should have had me declared dead by now when I never came back to them.

My crew and I truly had a hearty laugh when we read your missive trying to inform me about my impending marriage to some girl I do not know, as if you have any form of say at all in whether I marry or not. Though I am sure that the Ms. Luna Lovegood is a nice girl and everything, I’m sorry to say that there is only one woman who holds my heart, and no silly little wench of a witch will ever come close to replacing her even though my wife is long gone now, though our legacy lives on through the children we had together and their descendants.

You can take your marriage law and shove it up your asses, you scallywags, because I am neither willing nor available to take part in it. Even if I was interested in helping out with your ‘repopulation problem’, certain… circumstances make it near impossible for me to ‘return and do my duty’ even if I wanted to go back to England.

As far as I am concerned, I haven’t been a part of your society since the day my dear old great-uncle Algie Longbottom, tried to drown me in an attempt to ‘bring out my magic’ as he put it. That latest attempt on my life wound up transporting me over three hundred years into the past where I found a new life and family.

Yes, I said three hundred years, which means I’m older than everyone currently living in Magical Britian thanks to the circumstances I mentioned before, and far as I am concerned, your laws have no sway over me since I do not live on your shores anymore.

If you care to know, the circumstances for which speak of that make it impossible for me to return, is also the main reason why I still live after three hundred years. I am currently the captain of the legendary Flying Dutchman pirate ship, which acts as a ferry boat that escorts the souls of the newly dead who die at sea to where they belong in the afterlife.

Back when I was twenty-seven, I nearly died and in order to save me my friends who then saved me by making me kill Captain Davy Jones, the Flying Dutchman’s former captain who we were fighting at the time. Killing Davy Jones bonded me to the ship, thus saving my life and make me the new captain of this vessel. I’ve had to watch my friends and family grow old and die while I lived on in this cursed existence, and thanks to an agreement I made shortly after becoming captain of the Flying Dutchman I have another one hundred and fifty years to go before I’m finally free, or someone kills me and becomes the new captain of the Flying Dutchman.

For the last three hundred years, my crew and I who have been the ferry man of the dead, are unable to even set foot on dry land again except for being allowed ONE DAY out of every TEN YEARS with no exception to that particular rule. Right now my last stay on land was over three years ago, so I currently have seven years to go before I can come back to land again. After the one day is over, I have to immediately return to the sea on the Flying Dutchman or face the consequences.

Before you ask, the answer is no I can’t and won’t come to land early to take part in your law. Thanks to the former captain of the Flying Dutchman, I’ve seen what happens if you break the terms of being captain of the Dutchman by trying to leave early, and I really don’t want to have to spend my remaining years as some kind a half fish monster as punishment, just so I can be forced into marriage with some whelp of a girl who is two hundred and seventy-three years my junior.

Insincerely yours,

Captain Will Turner of the Flying Dutchman

Formerly known as Neville Frank Longbottom

P.S. Even if you somehow do manage to find us, you may as well say goodbye to your law enforcement officers, because as soon as they set foot onboard my ship they will never be able to leave again thanks to the magic of the Flying Dutchmanand they will be forever cursed to sail the seas with myself and my crew for all eternity collecting the souls of the dead until whenever I chose to let them free from their newfound duties.

Sadly the benefits of joining my crew would be immortality, never being able age again past the age you were when you got on board, or die no matter what is done to you, but like I also said before, you won’t be able to leave the ship except for one day every ten years and there is the physical punishment I said would also happen if you try and break the deal early.

You’ve already been properly warned. Your law would be useless if whoever you send after me is unable to leave the ship ever again thanks to the magic onboard. So kindly don’t blame me, because I didn’t make the rules. The magic and rules on this ship has been here long before I became captain of the Flying Dutchman, and it can’t be changed by anybody except its creator, and she’s a really stubborn wench of a Sea Goddess by the name of Calypso who had cursed the previous captain when she gave him this ship, and she can really carry a grudge for a long time if you get on her bad side.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

I came up with this idea while writing the Harry Potter is Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates Of The Caribbean idea, only in this one its Neville Longbottom instead, where he grows as Captain Will Turner instead. *lol*

The story of how Neville became known as Will Turner, is that it happened back in his childhood, thanks to his evil Uncle Algie Longbottom and his attempts to bring out Neville’s magic in his youth. One of the canon attempts Algie tried was throwing Neville into the water to try and see if his magic could save him from drowning, which it did, but it did it by sending Neville back in time where he gets found and adopted by Bootstrap Bill Turner and renamed as Will Turner. The line he used in the first paragraph was one of the lines Will always used in the movies.

Thanks for the request. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Star Vs The Forces Of Evil belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 644

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #194
By: Sakura Lisel
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

Dearie me, at first I didn’t believe the things that darling Harry told about me about your backwater magical society, until now when this annoying letter arrived demanding that my son-in-law return to England to be auctioned off to the highest bidder in some ‘Marriage Law’ and that he is expected to abandon my daughter and make himself available for your law as if you people have some say int the matter.

Harry dear, who has been happily married to my daughter for the last two weeks by the way, was on his way to his honeymoon with my daughter when your missive arrived, so he didn’t have time to send you a proper scaffing letter over your obnoxious demands, so I volunteered myself to do the task for him while he was away enjoying his honeymoon.

I give you twits just one warning and only one warning. Try and mess with my family and you will not like the consequences of what I am more than willing to do to protect what is mine and Harry James Potter is most definitely mine because of my daughters feelings for him. He makes her happy, and I will not allow anyone to take him from her. My darling sweet husband Globgor agrees whole heartedly on the idea and is very eager to help me on our endeavors in stopping you to save our daughters happieness.

Trust me when I say that what I’ll do to you will feel like a gentle slap on the wrist with a ruler for a misbehaving child compared to what Meteora swears that she will do to you people, if she has to come over there and deal with you herself when she returns from her honeymoon just for trying to take away her brand new husband. Dear Harry says he will help her out on that matter as well.

Do not bother us again on this matter, because you will not win when it comes to laying claim on Harry’s marital status. He will remain married to my daughter end of discussion.

Insincerely yours,

Queen Eclipsa of Mewni


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

The Meteora Butterfly who Harry married in this letter, isn’t the old Meteora, but the new one, who was born after the old ones defeat and ‘death’ at the hands of Eclipsa in the previous season of Star Vs The Forces Of Evil.

This idea I came up with for an idea that’s been going through my head. It’s a what if idea, where after the final battle with Star and Meteora getting turned back into a baby, Eclipsa temporarily left to release Globgor from his Crystal Prison. But instead of staying and taking back her families birthright as rulers of Mewni, the family of three gave back the Royal wand to Star, got their hands on some Dimensional Scissors and left for Earth, with Globgor taking on a human form so he can fit in better, and wind up on England, where they eventually meet a young Harry Potter a few years later.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Doctor Who belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,234

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #195
By: Sakura Lisel
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To Whom It May Concern,

When I recieved your insidious letter, I nearly died laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it and your assumption that you can tell me who I can marry and when I will marry, as if you have any form of say in the matter what so ever, which you don’t. Even my mom and my uncle both shared a good laugh as well when I showed the letter to them at my expense.

Lets get something straight, ministry people. My name is not Harry James Potter. It is now Harleyquin Jade Potter, or as I am also known in some circles, I am also known as the Time Lady, Paradox, and formerly known as Harry James Potter, daughter of James Potter and Lily Potter nee Evans, though dear mom is now better known these days as Mistress, or Missy, to her enemies.

I’m surprised that you wankers even bothered sending me an ‘invite’ for this absurd law, since mom went to great lengths faking both of our deaths back when I was a baby after Voldemort’s attack on our family on Halloween night. Your delivery owl just happened to find me during one of my pitstops in London or else you probably would have never gotten a response from me at all on this matter.

My life as the boy known as Harry James Potter ended the night Voldemort attacked our family, when the dark lord killed myself and my mom. Our deaths triggered a special gene in our bodies that had been dormant up until that point, causing us to be reborn instantly after our deaths, or in moms case her death caused, it caused her to return to whom she used to be.

My mother and I were both reborn as the people we are now and we were soon rescued from the wreckage of our home by the man I now call my uncle who is just like us. I’m sure even you backwater people in the magical world have heard of my uncle. He is as old as time and is known worldwide (known galaxy wide too) as simply The Doctor. If you know whats good for you, you should REALLY also look up any info you MIGHT have on him before you do something so stupid that he’ll make you regret.

Even if I was even remotely interested in helping you with your repopulation problem, I wouldn’t do it with your choice in spouse for me. For one thing, I am a hundred percent female in all ways, and even if I wanted to help you with your repopulation problem, which I don’t, I’m not even remotely interested in dating, or marrying, my own gender. Besides two girls can’t procreate and have kids as you should already know. I also flat out refuse any husband whom you try and set me up with instead.

Plus I am far too busy with other, more important things than to waste my time pumping out babies for some genetically inbred idiot I don’t know and contaminating my families bloodline with some inbred idiots spawn, because of a law made by a society I have never been a part of in my long lifetime. I am currently three hundred years old, and have no interest in settling down until maybe when I am at least five hundred or so give or take. Even then, whoever I marry will be my choice alone, and no one elses.

Sincerely yours,

Harleyquin Jade Potter

The Time Lady Paradox

Formerly known as Harry James Potter

P.s. I’ve decided to take pity on you wankers and have decided to issue you a special warning about your marriage law. Cancel it before the end of the month, or else say goodbye to your beloved society. Thanks to my special powers I inherited as a Time Lady, and the main reason I chose to call myself Paradox, the path you are on now will end very badly for everybody in the British magical if you keep going down the path of the marriage law.

All of my predictions come always true. But I try and set a different path if I can for those involved. So you have been properly warned. Do as you will, though unless you want to face the total extinction of your society by the end of the month...

P.P.S. Mother has asked me to inform all of you right here and right now that now that you know she is still alive as well thanks to me, that IF you have the nerve to TRY and send HER a letter demanding that SHE take part in this law, she will hunt all of you down and make you wish you were NEVER born. Or better yet she’ll hijack and teleport some Daleks in to exterminate all of you, and enjoy watching the mayhem and chaos, to help expediate my first warning. I highly suggest that you look them up as well when you look up The Doctor.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

I came up with this idea of a female Harry Potter being Missy’s daughter, and the Doctor being her uncle, because of the episode of Doctor Who that was aptly named The Witch’s Familiar, where Missy was bragging about this mysterious daughter she had that the Doctor used to buy gifts for.

If you don’t understand Harleyquins past, she was BORN a boy, but thanks to Voldemorts attack when she was a baby caused her first regeneration, instead of STAYING a boy, her regeneration turned him into a girl. Seeing how the ONLY way for her to be a boy again is to nearly die and then regenerate again IF she CHOSES to have the regeneration change her gender.

As far as Harleyquin is concerned shes grown up being a girl, always been a girl both mentally and physically, and doesn’t want to ‘change back’ to a gender she doesn’t even REMEMBER ever being. *lol*

As for what she said in the ‘P.s.’ part of her letter, the main reason she calls herself Paradox, is because thanks to her magic, combined with her Time Lady powers shes like a Seer. She can see POSSIBLE futures and what COULD happen if DIFFERENT choices are made like a Paradox, and unlike her Uncle Doctor, she’ll step in to change certain futures, if she can, by giving warnings like the one she gave in tne ‘P.S.’ part of the letter.

Though she’s a lot like Professor Paradox from the Ben 10 series.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Code Geass belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 471

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #196
Submitted By: 3697014
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To the Ministry of Mentally Impaired Inbreeds,

First of all, I’m quite impressed that the letter was delivered to me because I’m living in an alternate world right now, well more on that later.

Now you Inbreed Victorian era cousin marrying hicks are probably wondering where the hell did I go after killing Moldy face, well I was tired. Tired of the war, the pain, and heartbreak and I’M ESPECIALLY TIRED OF THE LOBOTOMIZED MONKEYS RUNNING WIZARDING BRITAIN!

Who, I’m not kidding you people who probably don’t even know what the word lobotomized even means, but I digress. After the war, I just said fuck it and went through the “Veil of Death”, but going through the Veil didn’t kill me, instead I got turned into an infant and was found by a young women, who would later adopt me, named Nunnally vi Britannia.

Later, I found out that I’m in an alternate world where (this part will piss off a lot of you, and I wish I’m there to see it) where the French, under the leadership of Napoleon, invaded and conquered Great Britain and the remaining royalist and royal family fled to the new world, America, where the infamous American Revolution failed, thus becoming known as Britannia.

I am now a Princess of the holy empire of Britannia and THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I WOULD EVER GO BACk TO YOU HICKS!

And this sham of yours. This “Marriage Law”, has no ground to stand on to where I am living now, so FUCK OFF, even if you jackasses are able to reach me, my family will be not be too pleased that interdimensional Wizards are forcing a TWELVE-YEAR-OLD princess to marry someone she doesn’t know, and I’m sure that uncle Schneizel would love to experiment on some of the guinea pigs you are about to send over, poke them and prod them, to see what makes them tick.

Signed,

Maria vi Britannia

Princess of the Holy Britannian Empire

Formally Maria Rossa Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by 3697014. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 738

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #197
Submitted By: Architeuthis
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To the Ministry of Idiotic Mages,

Thanks for the laugh. After that mess in Ba Sing Se, we could really use one. Toph says that any girl who wants me will have to go through her first, and she is one of the most powerful earthbenders in the world.

Turns out “bending” is a fairly common type of magic in magical Asia and the polar regions. It also turns out that I’m an airbender – the rarest type.

As you might have heard, Toph, Aang, Katara, and Sokka crashed Voldemort’s resurrection party. As they were riding a multi-ton air bison which also has airbending abilities at the time, the Death Eaters didn’t have a chance. Sokka cut me loose, and Toph used earthbending to crush the cauldron containing Babymort. Cue the wailing and black smoke. Unless he’s gotten himself another body, he’s a wraith again. Sokka says that Voldemort deserved being crushed.

After I thanked Aang and Co. for the rescue and complimented them on their timing, I asked them how they’d known I needed help. Okay, Katara, I admit I wasn’t quite that tactful.

Aang is the Avatar, a spiritual leader who can bend all four elements. The nearest non-magical equivalent I can think of is the Dalai Lama – if that helps. As the Avatar, Aang has ties to the Spirit World. One of Aang’s friends in the Spirit World told him that 1) I was an airbender, and 2) I needed his help straight away.

After saving me, Aang then offered me lessons in airbending, and the various types of bending incorporate martial arts techniques and moves. After surviving a ridiculous number of encounters with Voldemort and his followers largely through “sheer dumb luck”, to quote McGonagall, I was not going to say “no” to actual lessons in fighting. Airbending also doesn’t involve using a wand, which means I’m not automatically helpless if somebody takes or snaps my wand. Sokka and Toph both say witches and wizards are idiots for relying on just one weapon, no matter how versatile it is.

There are other advantages to traveling and working with Aang and his companions: No more Professor Snape, no more Dursleys, and no more nearly getting killed every year at the alleged “safest place in magical Britain”. I will have to help them against the Fire Lord Ozai, who is mental enough to use his own children as weapons. Guys, please, can we dispense with the arguments about Zuko? His being less ruthless than Azula doesn’t change the fact that he’s still working for his father.

So, what does all this have to do with your new stupid law? First off, I’m not going to come running back to England in the near future – certainly not within the next week. I’ve got airbending to learn and a Fire Lord to help fight.

Second, given your overall competence, I don’t trust you guys to choose a wife for me. You’d probably just match me with some rich pureblood regardless of whether we had anything in common or liked each other. Very well, Toph, that’s true, too. It’s too late anyway, because she is not stepping aside for some other girl. She’ll drop a boulder on anybody dumb enough to try to make her.

In case you haven’t guessed, Toph and I have become a couple. I don’t want or need the Ministry’s help in picking a girlfriend or wife. Furthermore, while I do plan on having children, I’m certainly not going to start a family at FOURTEEN.

Harry Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and The Multiverser Saga Fanfic Series and Slenderman belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 586

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #198
Submitted By: Crazy Cakes 23
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From the Office of Her Spectral Strangeness, Queen of Arcadia both Magical and Mundane by the Grace of the Multiiverse, First Archmage of Arcadia.
Queen Alexis I

To (Soon-To-Be-Former) Minister Umbridge,

It has come to my attention that a law that has recently been passed in the wake of your Second Wizarding War (what a stupid name, there has been and will be magical wars, Voldemort is a mere pest compared to what is out there) that dictates the...matrimonial status of those in Wizarding Britain.

Specifically, that any available and eligible witch or wizard is to be wed to a spouse of the Ministry's choosing, regardless of either party's consent or knowledge. Following the news of this, quite frankly, archaic, law, an owl accompanied by a team of Aurors came to extradite one Harry Potter, otherwise known as my personal Knight Errant, to Britain to marry some unwitting girl who clearly did not want to be in this situation. I didn't know you still condoned child marriages.

Needless to say, my Knight Errant refused, on the grounds that as a legal and certified Arcadian citizen after revoking his previous UK citizenship, both magical and mundane, that you have no sway over him in regards to the Arcadian Accords (as you may have known, were drafted and signed right here in the Empire of Arcadia by all magical nations, councils, and political entities, Britain included), in which we have every right to invoke its magical contracts and binds.

I also took notice of many of your citizens, including some pureblood families (the very ones you made this law for), are currently fleeing to other nations and realms for refuge, including my own. Naturally, a fair bit are displeased with you, to say the least. Those that cannot flee I send my condolences, as they have to live under a law which dictates who they love and who they marry.

With your population either escaping or trapped and seething, your days as Minister are numbered.

Look up.

What do you see?

A man without a face in a suit. He is very angry with you, but of course, you probably already know that as he is currently making a harp out of your bones and nerves. He's very creative in that way, an artistic spirit. It brings a tear to my eye.

Oh, and don't worry about me being punished. Her Majesty's Government fully endorses this operation. It took some convincing on my part, but I did it. Not like my dear Der Großmann could be caught by any mundane or magical government, if either cared enough to do so.

Sincerely,

Alexis Freesia I

Queen of Magic


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Crazy Cakes 23. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Codename: Sailor V and Sailor Moon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 197

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #199
Submitted By: tanithlipsky
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Dear Ministry of Magic,

I don't know why you want my husband to marry some rich snob. That will not happen since he is my husband and I am Sailor Venus. You don't want to make me angry. I will STAB all of you if you even try...

Sincerely,

Aino-Potter Minako


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by tanithlipsky. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from tanithlipsky: It might be a stupid idea but this was in my head so here.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Hotel Transylvania belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,257

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #200
By: Sakura Lisel
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Dear Idiots of the Ministry of Magic,

You can simply just FORGET about me EVER coming back to take part in your silly little marriage law. You also should take note of the exact phrasing of your own letter and its 'requirements' for taking part in it before contradicting yourselves about what your own law specifically says at the BEGINNING of it.

I mean seriously? Your forever growing level of inbred stupidity still amazes me even after all these years, if you are blatantly ignoring what you yourselves wrote up in your stupid law in order to get your own way. Either that or you must think that everyone else are just as stupid as you are, and will just blindly do what you say without a fight or argument, and won’t look behind the lines of what your law says.

Plus here is another thing, let me point out to you, that your own law specifically says that all AVAILABLE and ELIGIBLE witches and wizards have to take part in this ludicrous law. Well let me tell you this right here and right now, and I truly hope for YOUR sakes, that it sticks in your thick inbred, and obviously brain damaged minds, that I am NOT 'available' OR 'eligible' to take part in your law, and that I have no wish to make myself so, in order to allow myself to be RAPED by a complete stranger just to 'help out' with YOUR population problems. As far as I am concerned, as a FORMER member of YOUR society, I am NOT obligated to do what a law made in a country I don't even bloody live in anymore CLAIMS that I 'have to' obey it.

Before you say ANYTHING, the answer is YES, what you are trying to do is STILL considered RAPE by both the ICW and is HIGHLY illegal OTHER magical communities if NOBODY is willing to do it no matter what YOU might want to try and say on the matter, you wankers!

I mean seriously? Will you WANKERS take the bloody hint already and leave me alone?! I bloody LEFT your lame society over TEN YEARS AGO! If I haven't been back in all this time even to visit, why the hell would make you even possibly think even for a second that I'll come back just to 'allow' myself to be married off against my will to someone I don't know? I assure you that Hell will freeze over first and Lucifer will be giving away FREE hot coco and FREE sleigh rides in the former firey pits of HELL before THAT will EVER happen.

You people really think that you can decide for me who my 'perfect match' is? So sorry to have to break it to you wankers, but as far as I am concerned, I've ALREADY found my ‘PERFECT match’ all on my own. He is my one true love and my soul mate. We were made for each other. Even just THINKING of being with ANYONE except him makes me extremely sick to my stomach, and I won't give him up for anybody, and especially not for a backwater magical society that exists in a country that I haven't lived in over ten years.

As far as I am concerned, I already did my ONE and ONLY 'duty' to you people by destroying Voldemort. I don't 'owe' you anything else, let alone using me as your society’s personal broodmare in your lame law. Whatever laws you make over there can go shove themselves where the sun don't shine. Your laws, they mean nothing to me, you people and your problems mean nothing to me, and anybody who TRIES to show up to my home to TRY and make me come back will face the eternal wrath of myself and my husband's family and all of our friends.

Maybe I should tell you exactly who my husband is. He has given me permission to do so. His name is Count Dracula the Second. Yes, THAT Count Dracula of legend. He tells me that he WILL be more than willing to go to war to keep me. All of our friends are willing to help as well. You won't stand a chance against all of us.

Plus I'm pretty sure that even the magical world has heard of Draculas elder sister, Countess Lydia Tepia Dracula. By her own words, usually she doesn't like humans, but she's gotten a little attached to me over the years. I think my being a witch (and also being the Mistress of Death) helps in me not fully human and more tolerable in Lydias eyes. Trust me when I say that you really DON'T want to get on HER bad side either at ANY time soon. Depending on his current mood, Dracula might give you ONE chance to repent your actions in TRYING to kidnap me, but Lydia... You had better hope that Dracula finds you before Lydia does.

Let me put it this way. For example, I think that the best way to describe dear Lydia is that she makes Bellatrix Lestrange look like a slightly sane, sweet, docile pacifist. Bellatrix herself would be considered a perfect little, and non-violent, angel in comparison to Lydia, especially when Lydia gets mad.

Do you now get the picture yet on exactly how STUPID trying to seperate me from my family would be by now? You won't like what I overheard what Lydia was planning to do to all of you if you try and force this issue, that is if you LIVE that long in order to form an opinion about it once she's through with you.

Oh by the way, speaking of the ICW, I along with a lot of other enraged witches and wizards have been in contact with them recently on the matter of Englands Marriage Law. The ICW are REALLY angry with you idiots about this lame law and want to have some SERIOUS words with whomever made it by the way, ESPECIALLY since you are TRYING to use this law to forcibly ‘recruit’ potential brides and grooms from OUTSIDE of Englands boarders, who’ve NEVER stepped foot on Britiish soil or been BORN over there, instead of sticking with the witches and wizards already living over there.

Cordially yours,

Countess Jericho Historia Dracula nee Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

So what do you think of a female Harry getting together with Dracula instead of Erica Van Hellsing? The idea wouldn’t go away no matter what I tried. lol Especially since the new Hotel Transylvania 3 show the familys not ‘too old’ to still Zing, even if they already did it before. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 351

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #201
Submitted By: AzureNight1994
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Dear Ministry of Craven Drunkard Scousers,

First of all, It’s five in the bloody morning!

Sod off you pretentious wankers, if it wasn’t apparent from my leaving the PLANET that I didn’t want to come back. Then this ‘Marriage Law’ CERTAINLY doesn’t entice me to return.

Seriously though. Was it that pillock Fudge that came up with this shite? Tell Him he’s a craven slag.

I must also profess that if it wasn’t for the fact I know you Tossers have lost the plot Centuries if not Millennia ago, I would have considered you’re threats to be serious.

So I’m going to ask you to nicely to go suck a bell end and leave me alone or ELSE, I will go through with the prophecy I received in my breakfast.

If I return, your world will burn,
Corpus, Corps, Corpse,
That is what you will be,
If you don’t leave me be.

Yours most Insincerely,

The Master of Death

Person who saved you’re craven arses whilst you all sat back and let school children do all the work.

Person who thinks a revolution is well overdue, thanks to the rampant idiocy which plagues the upper echelons like the black death

Harry James Potter

P.s pretty sure you lot could be conquered in a day, I’m amazed the French haven’t done so.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by AzureNight1994. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bravely Default-Bravely Second belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 178

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #202
Submitted By: Jostanos
Sequel to: Letter #170
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The Wizengamut was in the middle of a meeting when a Patronus-like creature appeared in the middle of the arena, and uttered these words to all those assembled there in.

Why do you STILL hound us so? WE.. ARE.. NOT.. INTERSTED! Now leave those of us in LUXENDARC ALONE!”


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Code Geass belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 413

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #203
Submitted by: Quatermass
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To the Ministry of Idiots,

And here I was thinking I was 110% done with you. I’m already married, dammit! I’m happily married to Lady Kallen Stadtfeld-Kozuki (well, Stadtfeld-Kozuki-Potter, but that’s a mouthful), Minister for Defence of Japan. Admittedly, this is in another world, one where you have Britannia instead of Britain (and it’s based in the US, just to confuse your tiny minds more), and I just helped Japan overthrow the Britannian administration...well, overthrow is a bit of a strong word.

In any case, I’m done fighting your battles, especially with your gratitude having a half-life measurable in microseconds. I now have a beautiful, passionate wife, and you want me to give her up? Ha ha, NO.

Let’s put it this way. I have been helping the Japanese resistance fight against Britannia, aided by one of its exiled princes, a green-haired witch who hands out superpowers like candy at Halloween, and many others. I know how to fight, and I will fight this. I’m fairly handy inside a Knightmare Frame, and my wife? She is a GODDESS. What is a Knightmare Frame, I hear you ask? Ask the Muggleborns what a Gundam is. Also, I personally know someone who makes big bombs for a living. They give off a pretty pink glow when they go off.

This is your first and only warning. I am not divorcing Kallen, and I’d like to see you try to force the issue.

Yours sincerely,

Lord Harry Stadfeld-Kozuki

Formerly Harry Potter

Formerly the revolutionary ‘Warlock’


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Okay, so, time to do some more shameless plugs. This one will be for my recently-started “Code Geass“ crossover “Warlock“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Fairy Tail belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 477

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #204
Submitted By: Freerunner4427
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To the Ministry of Incompetent Morons,

You are to cease and desist all atempts to reclaim the individual known as Vega D Dreyar under the false pretenses that she is eligible to marry a member of your society. Any and all further attempts from your, so called, ‘Aurors’ to kidnap Mrs. Dreyar to participate in said marriage law will be met with lethal force at the hands of her husband and clan.

Should you ignore our warnings and continue to persist, we will have no choice but to declare WAR upon your society with the full backing of the United Magical Nations, and the full permission of your Queen to wipe you off the map. Mrs. Dreyar is quite happy with her mate and, as she is currently expecting their third child, he is more than happy to point her hormonal rage towards your sorry asses.

With little respect,

The Magical Council of Ishgar, Frostland, and Arakitashia.

PS. I don’t know how the fuck you people even found me, nor do I particularily care, but stop sending the damn owls! It’s really starting to piss off Laxus and the rest of the Guild, not to mention my adoptive parents. Besides, according to YOUR bylaws, I’m not even eligible to participate due to being half DRAGON, and thus a CREATURE! I don’t know who in their right mind decided that McNair of all people would be a good match for me, but I want a hit of what they were smoking.

Vega D Dreyar

Formerly Hycenith Potter

Crown Princess of the Alvarez Empire

Heiress of the Celestial Dragon King

Matriarch of the Ibrida Clan

PSS. Try to add my children to the list, or ANY member of my clan, and I will personally BURN THE ENITRE DAMN MINISTRY TO THE GROUND WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Freerunner4427. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Freerunner4427: Au tie in with my story The Star of Fairy Tail, Fem!Harry was transported to Fiore by Fawkes when she was 12, was renamed Vega, and adopted by Mavis and Zeref. Fair warning, I’m including a few spoilers in this...

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and My Little Pony belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 152

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #205
Submitted By: Shadow Guard
Response to: Letter #124
===============================

Dear Princess Luna,

We, your children of the Night, are glad to help you with successful defence of Our land by Your side.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Shadow Guard. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sword Art Online belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 675

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #206
Submitted By: jgkitarel
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Consider this a friendly warning from me. Or, perhaps, not so friendly. It doesn’t matter.

While I am flattered that you have what I am sure is an absolutely charming young lady for me to wed, I am already spoken for. You should know of her, as she has visited the Ministry with me before. A charming young lady who is officially known by the Ministry’s magics as Lady Keiko Ayano-Potter.

Had we our way, we would already be formally wed, but a minor thing like our ages prevents that in both the magical and non-magical worlds. However, as I have mentioned, she is already recognized as the Lady Potter, one of the heads of the Potter Family like myself.

She has the access to all the same resources I do. This means that she also has the same administrative authority over those resources that I do. Which means that she can pull the Potter Family investments from a number of businesses, like a great many that exist solely in the magical world. That also means that she can call in the favors owed by many of the Wizengamot’s members, forcing them to repay them in full. It means that she can use the Potter Family’s investments in several media outlets to influence what they print. She can call in the monies owed to the Potter Family due to the number of patents it owns, but haven’t collected on in centuries but are still owed. I think the total is around half of Magical Britain’s total annual economic output right now.

On her own, she can force many of you to change your stance and those wrapped up in them have no choice but to comply if they value continuing to use magic. She can destroy your good name with a few words to the press, not that you’re not doing quite well there. She can hit you economically by cutting off the Potter Family investments into magical businesses. She can hit the entire magical world in its vaults by declaring that what is owed by use of things that the Potter Family has patented to be paid immediately or having the assets of those who owe us legally siezed to pay what is owed to us.

She also has family members who can advise her on how best to approach this if you decide to be insistent. And if you decide to become aggressive, her family is well feared by Japan’s magical community, despite their being muggles. Or, perhaps, because they’re muggles who have proven that they can take on almost everything short of an actual god on and win. And what they can’t beat, they are on friendly terms with.

I don’t have to do anything and I won’t stop her if you become insistent on this. I may even help her, especially if she decides that a more personal discussion is in order. Both of us can be quite sharp and pointed in those cases.

Regards,

Lord Harry James Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by jgkitarel. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from jgkitarel: It’s me shamelessly plugging my own fic, Mystic Knight Online: All the World’s Made Strange. Which is a crossover with Harry Potter and Sword Art Online.

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Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 553

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #207
Submitted By: bleach103
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Location - Ministry Of Magic

There was a meeting deciding on how to get Neville/Goten to agree to the marriage and Umbridge started.

Umbridge
Okay everyone! There has to be a way to get that brat to agree with the marriage!

Lucius
We tried, Madam Umbridge, but the woman he’s living with is giving us trouble!

Umbridge
Well, just Obliviate the family and take the brat!

Lucius
Are you sure, Madam Umbridge? Because the Japanese Ministry made that spell illegal.

Umbridge
I don’t care! Just do it!

Another member rose and spoke, “Madam Umbridge, we can’t! We can get arrested if we did that!”

Umbridge
Like I said, I don’t care! Just get the brat!

The member was about to speak again when they heard a voice say, “I don’t think so!”

Everyone looked around to look for the person who spoke up, before they all looked up and saw two men floating high above them without brooms.

Umbridge
Who are you, and how did you get in here?!

The man spoke, “My name is Son Goku, and this my son, Son Gohan. I’m the father of Son Goten.”

Umbridge
He’s not your son, and where is the brat?!

Gohan
My brother is at home with our mother and don’t talk about my brother that way! He’s is a part of our family!

Umbridge
Stop telling lies, you stupid brat!

Goku
Don’t you ever call my son a stupid brat, you pink ugly abomination!

Umbridge
Don’t you ever call me that, you brute!

Lucius
That’s enough! I’m sorry but this arguing is getting us nowhere.

Umbridge
But they won’t give up the brat and he has to marry a proper pureblood!

Lucius
I know, but arguing like children is not going to help. (He turned to the two men) Why won’t you let your son marry for?

Goku
For one thing, he’s only eight, so he’s way too young to take part in it anyway.

Umbridge
We don’t care! You will surrender the brat or else!

Lucius
Madam Umbridge, stop!

This pissed off both Goku and Gohan, as Gohan transformed into Super Saiyan 2 and Goku turned Super Saiyan Blue. The whole group grew scared because they sensed the energy.

Umbridge
W-W-W-What the hell?!

Goku
You will stop sending those letters or we will be contacting the Japanese Ministry of Magic!

Umbridge
Y-Y-Yes sure!

Goku
Good, Gohan lets go.

After that, Goten was taken off the list.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Berserk belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 603

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #208
Submitted by: Quatermass
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To the Ministry of Magic,

How dare you? How dare you write such an arrogant missive? I thought such unmitigated arrogance was the province of the nobility and royalty, but it seems the wizards of your world match that with ease. That was not a compliment, by the way.

Harry, through our bond, has helped me get through many trying ordeals, even before your contempt for him caused him to be sent from your world to ours. Because of him, I stayed sane through the worst moment of my life. And you wish to take him from me?

I forgot to introduce myself in my anger. I am Casca, formerly of the Band of the Hawk, betrayed by our leader, Griffith, in exchange for him becoming a member of the Godhand, what is now a quintet of demonic envoys of a greater power. I have fought all my life to further Griffith’s cause, but now, I have another cause...to put an end to him. And I shall not do it alone.

Harry and I are partners in both love and war, and we have vowed to stop Griffith for once and for all. We are united in such a purpose with another former member of the Band of the Hawk, or comrade Guts, one of the strongest swordsmen in the world, a man whose tenacity and strength is greater than most, if not all. For now, though, Harry and I are training under the aegis of the witch Flora and her protege Schierke, the latter of whom has become like a daughter to us both.

Our world is a hostile one to humans in general, and wizards in particular. The Holy See hunts down witches with fervour. And Apostles, demonic entities that were once human before they sold their souls, roam the land, ruining human lives in the process. Should you be foolish enough to travel here, it would probably mean your doom long before you can encounter us.

Don’t bother trying to contact us ever again. And if you do...know then that we will fight, we will struggle, to keep what is rightfully ours. Too long the pair of us have danced on Fate’s strings. Never again.

Casca

PS. Harry Potter here. Casca said she’d write the letter herself, but I thought I’d add a little addendum. Guts wields a sword designed to kill a dragon. I’ve grown in magic since we last met. Casca is learning how to use magic. Flora’s forgotten more about magic than I ever will learn. And Schierke...for one so young, she’s more powerful than I am. Do yourself a favour, and don’t bother coming over...if you like your internal organs remaining internal.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Okay, I’m going to try posting one of these letters, albeit as a bit of a plug for one of my own stories, “Separated At Birth

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 612

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #209
Submitted By: Architeuthis
Sequel to: Letter #149
===============================

To Tiberius Ogden
Department of Magical Law Enforcement

It is with a heavy heart that I am tendering my resignation from the Ministry of Magic. I cannot, however, in good conscience, remain with a Department or a Ministry that is inflicting such misery on our society. Haven’t people suffered enough already?! The intentions behind the marriage law may be good, but its consequences are anything but.

While it may be acceptable to encourage single witches and wizards to marry, it is completely unacceptable to disrupt existing relationships simply because bigots within the Ministry dislike certain people’s bloodlines or heritages. I refer, of course, to people like Fleur Delacour. She and my oldest son Bill are very happily married and hope to start a family in the near future. She is also of Veela descent, and some people find that objectionable.

I DON’T CARE! The Ministry does not have the right to order people who have already gotten married to get divorced, so the Ministry can match them with a “more suitable partner.”

Furthermore, I see no evidence that the marriage law is working as hoped – and plenty of evidence that it isn’t. Bill and Charlie have already written Molly and me that they will never return to Magical Britain until the law is repealed. Molly, of course, is devastated, and so am I. We have already buried one son because of this war; we do not need being separated from two others.

In addition, according to Charlie, the Ministry of Magical Romania is not happy with Aurors who turn up at their dragon reserve without so much as a by-your-leave to try to arrest unmarried British employees. Other magical governments are similarly unhappy with us, as are the goblins.

Many other people have left Magical Britain. Harry Potter and Hermione Granger have gone to Australia to stay with her parents. The Lovegoods have left for the United States to both evade the marriage law and hunt for Crumple-Horned Snorcacks. Good luck apprehending them. Not only are Australia and the United States among the many countries that finds the marriage law objectionable, they are also huge. Finding people who don’t want to be found in such countries is difficult at best especially when their magical governments refuse to help extradite them.

The marriage law is thus proving to be worse than useless. It is disrupting lives and dividing families. It is also defeating its stated purpose by driving people out of Magical Britain, and forcing them back at wand-point is neither feasible nor moral.

Sincerely,

Arthur Weasley


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Hey Architeuthis, you should do Charlie Weasleys rejection letter next. Or one of Mollys typical letter response to something she doesn’t like to show how SHE feels about it seeing what its costing her. lol

Notes from Architeuthis: Arthur Weasley’s Resignation Letter. Consider it a sequel to Bill’s letter in Letter #149.

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Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 725

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #210
By: Sakura Lisel
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From the desk of the Presidential office of Magical Congress of the United States of America
To the British Ministry of Magic

To Whom It May Concern in the British Ministry of Magic:

By order of the Magical Congress of the United States of America (MACUSA), and the Supreme Mugwump of the I.C.W., you are hereby ORDERED to immediately CEASE and DESIST any and all attempts to KIDNAP First Lady Historia Jasmine Kowalski-Potter, who is currently the WIFE of MACUSA’s very own President of Magic.

President Hector Jacob Kowalski is NOT pleased by the British Ministry’s LATEST attempts to take away HIS wife in order to make her marry someone else against her will and have children with this other man, and has no inention of ‘setting aside’ his marriage of SIX YEARS, because of a law made in a country his wife no longer even calls home, and the First Lady wholeheartedly agrees on the matter.

The aurors who were sent to ‘collect’ First Lady Kowalski and ‘bring her ‘home’ whether she wants to go back or not’ have been properly apprehended and are currently awaiting trial for their attempted crimes against the First Lady who is currently pregnant with her third child. Your aurors shall be punished to the fullest extent of MACUSA’s laws, and will be treated like the trespassing terrorists that they are because of their illegal and unsanctioned entry into America, and the the bill for all the property damage caused by them will be sent to England soon.

You will also CEASE and DESIST all attempts to force FORMER British Citizens of your country, who now reside in America and who have been granted sanctuary and permanent citizenship here in America, to return to England to be married off. This mandate is also calling for the stop of the attempted kidnapping of UNWILLING natural born AMERICAN citizens who have somehow been ‘selected’ as potential brides and grooms for your biased law.

America is, nor any other country that is registered with the I.C.W., NOT ‘obligated’ to help ‘provide’ brides and grooms for YOUR country just because YOU suppposedly are low on British witches and wizards to be married off. We do not appreciate the illegal and unsanctioned entry of your aurors who are illegally entering our country to TRY and run off with OUR citizens to drag them off to Britain to be married off against their wills.

Failure to comply with our ‘requests’ will result in immediate war with the MACUSA, and all of the allied nations of the I.C.W. who are just as angry about this marriage law of yours as President Kowalski with your blatant disregard of other countries laws involving their citizens.

The I.C.W. has already spoken to the No-Maj (or ‘Muggle’ to you backwater inbred hicks) Queen of England, and she has agreed that she will not step in to interfere if the above terms are not met. It turns out she is very angry to hear what you people are trying to do, and is giving us leeway to put an end to it.

Sincerely yours,

Angelique Tesla Pennywise, Esq.

Vice President of the Magical Congress of the United States of America (MACUSA)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

So what do you think of a female Harry being married to the President of MACUSA? The idea hit me and wouldn’t leave me alone. lol Before anyone asks, the answer is yes, President Hector Jacob Kowalski is basically the half blood Grandson (or GREAT Grandson) of Jacob Kowalski and Queenie Goldstein.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Ben 10 belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,091

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #211
By: Sakura Lisel
Sequel to: Letter #4
===============================

October 15, 1982

To Whom It May Concern

This is my first time writing to you people, but Lily has given me permission to do so seeing how she’s currently frustrated and fed up with you people right now to be bothered righting another letter herself. So here goes.

I demand that you leave MY wife alone immediately! Lily Maria Tennyson nee Evans is not available to take part in your ludicrous marriage law, nor will she be ‘making herself available’ as you so eloquently put it in your last letter, in order to be married off to James Fleamont Potter. Lily is happily married to me, thank you very much, and has no intention of leaving our children and me behind any time soon.

Lily is my wife, and mother to my son, Kenneth Harry Tennyson, and we have a second child on the way who is already growing in Lily’s belly, a pregnancy which she no intention of ‘terminating‘ in order to ‘make way’ for the demon spawn (her words, not mine) of James Potter who you are trying to force her to marry, just because YOU people say she has to do so. You will have to drag her kicking and screaming to get her pregnancy ended, and she swears that if you try, that she’ll hex all of you into the next millennium afterwards.

Lily has told me all about this James Potter guy, and how he constantly stalked and harassed her in school and hexed any boy who tried to get close to her, including her long time best friend, Severus Snape.

If your backwater society bothered to keep up with the times, you would know that what James Potter did is now considered a criminal offense and would land him in jail if caught. Luckily his attempts at breaking Lily up with Severus failed, seeing how he is still a good friend of the family and named godfather to our son.

Speaking of James Potter, just how is the guy doing these days? Just a few days ago, the jackass had the NERVE to show up at MY home with a group of your law enforcement officers to try and take Lily, who is currently three weeks pregnant with my second child, with plans to kidnap her and ‘OBLIVIATE‘ all memory of each other from both of our minds, because I am what you people would call a ‘muggle’ in your eyes, who didn’t ‘deserve‘ a witch like Lily as his wife, and use your lame law to force her into marriage to him.

Unfortuantly for Potter and the law enforcement officers, they arrived during a little family reunion gathering of everyone in my extended family, who came to help celebrate and welcome our unborn baby into the family, along with one of my brothers own unborn child who is due around the same time as ours. My mother, Verdona Tennyson, who basically IS a witch even by YOUR standards, wasn’t too fond of the idea of you people showing up and what you were intending to do, and neither was the rest of my family, especially with how snippy Potter tried to be with my mom. He’s lucky she let him live after the way he tried to talk to her.

The last time I saw Potter, he and the aurors were now currently wandless and running as fast as all of them could with mom and dad along with at least half of my family chasing him and the aurors he brought with him, shooting lasers and other assortments of weapons at the jackass. Mom told me that after a long ‘talk’ with Potter, he has sworn some kind of magical oath to leave Lily alone, and to never bother her again for any reason under pain of extreme agony and death either by his own magic for breaking the oath or at the hands of my mom if she catches him again.

Here’s a warning. DON’T mess with the Tennyson’s if you know what’s good for you. You will LOOSE every single time you try and go up against us, when it comes to Lily.

Insincerely yours,

Franklin Alexander Tennyson

Husband of Lily Maria Tennyson nee Evans

P.S. Speaking of wands, if you look in the box that accompanies this letter, you’ll find the broken remains of James Potter and the aurors wands that were left behind when they were chased off my property by my family. We deicded to return what was left of them to you to return them to their rightful owners so that they won’t have an excuse to come back for them.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was created by me in a fit of inspiration. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

This letter is a sequel to Letter #4. Where a letter written in 1982 by Lily Evans was sent back to England with her own rejection letter that was happening during 1980s, in a time period where Lily NEVER got together with James Potter, and NEVER had Harry, but moved away from England to America after graduation, where she met and married one of the Tennysons.

I’m thinking of having Gwen’s birthday being somewhere in July. I kept looking all over the net for her and Ben’s birthdays (since they were both born on the same day), but everywhere I look it has their birthdays listed as either June 16, or DECEMBER. I don’t know where the December birthday comes from, seeing how the very first time they celebrate their birthday in the series its during the SUMMER road trip when they were ten, so I putting it in July.

This letter is to show which of the Tennyson men she married, and who her future kids in the Ben 10 series is. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Z belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 253

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #212
Submitted By: BlackTyrantValvatorez
===============================

To Some Unwelcome Pests,

I normally do not use such coarse language, but you candy ass faggots need a reality check if you idiots want to continue living. No ministry of magic has the right to force their laws and customs onto my family and friends. I only took Liliana Potter as my wife because I proved myself much more powerful than the wimp you intend to marry her off to. As half-Saiyans, my children will be more capable of depopulating entire planets than even your most powerful magicians.

Don’t say that I didn’t warn you candy ass faggots when your next attempt to kidnap my wife results in me blowing up your buildings.

Sincerely yours,

Vegeta, Prince of the Saiyans

Husband to Liliana Vegeta nee Potter.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by BlackTyrantValvatorez. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Godzilla belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 397

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #213
Submitted By: Neminine
===============================

E.D.F. HQ

Ministry of Magic,

It has come to our attention that you have laid a claim on one of our operatives, Harry James Potter. I reget to inform you that attempting to kidnap him again will result in the complete annihilation of your Ministry.

Allow me to explain. Agent Potter is what we call a “Handler.” Handlers are psychically bonded to massive beasts called Kaiju. The one bonded to Agent Potter is Godzilla. The most powerful of earthborn Kaiju and the Kaiju King AND our leader.

So I am sorry. I was supposed to be professional about this, BUT IF YOU COME AFTER HARRY AGAIN, WE WILL WIPE YOU FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH, AND FREE THE POOR INNOCENTS YOU HAVE TRAPPED WITH THIS DUMBASS LAW! WE HAVE PEOPLE WITH THE POWER TO ALTER THE VERY LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE, AND YOU WANNA MESS WITH US!

FORGET BIG G! WE ARE GONNA RIP YOU TO SHREDS IF YOU DON’T LEAVE HARRY ALONE! THE ONLY REASON HE ISN’T WRITING THIS LETTER, IS BECAUSE HE IS OUT THERE CONVINCING GODZILLA NOT TO GO USE YOU FOR BBQ! LEAVE US ALONE!

Or else we will withdraw our standing order of noninterference with the Ministry of Magic. Your choice.

Moll and Lora

Transcribing for Mothra


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Neminine. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Neminine: Okay. This is a cross over with Godzilla and Harry Potter. The E.D.F. (Earth Defense Force) protects the planet from extraterrestrial threats. Godzilla is sentient in this and is psychically bonded to Harry. No they are not married or anything.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Transformers G1 belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 692

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #214
Submitted By: HPFanFrench
===============================

Dear Ministry of morons,

You people got a lot of nerve, didn’t you? You dare send me a letter to order me to return to your pathetic world years after you banish me because I was “too dangerous” and for what? To marry some git you choose against my will because your so called “marriage law” says so?

Well let me answer this kind demand by this: GO FRAG YOURSELF, YOU STUPID PIECES OF SCRAPS!

There’s no way I will ever return after you fraggers endlessly tried to manipulate me and use me for your own selfish needs!

Ever since I first entered into the wizarding world when I was eleven years old, it was always the same thing: either I was ridiculously worshiped because of all this “girl-who-lived” nonsense, or either I was seen as the next Dark Lady because of things you don’t like with me, or because I didn’t act like the good little weapon you wanted me to be. And now you try again to control me by wanting to marry me off together with that traitor of a Weasley?

Let me tell you one good thing: I will not submit to this law and that I have many reasons:

  1. I’m ALREADY, and HAPPILLY, married to a wonderful sparkmate and carrying his sparklings! Leaving him and/or getting rid of my little ones is absoloutly out of the question!
  2. In case your little stupid brains forget about it you banned me five years ago when I was seventeen, which means I’m a fully legalized adult and not a member of your socity anymore and so your law doesn’t concern me!
  3. Even if I wasn’t married, and not banned, I’m still unconcerned for the simple reason that I’m not even human anymore! Thats right! I’ve become a seeker from the cybertronian race and therefore a legal citizen of the city of Vos from the planet Cybertron.

In other words, I am now a giant robotic being from another planet. So GOOD LUCK TRYING TO MAKE ME REPRODUCE WITH HUMANS, YOU STUPID FLESHLINGS! AND NO! YOU CAN’T FIND A WAY TO TURN ME BACK INTO A HUMAN! MY TRANSFORMATION IS IRREVERSIBLE! And you know what? I’M PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH THIS! SO DO ME A FAVOR AND GET. FRAGGING. LOST!

With no best regards,

Lady Blackwings

Formerly know as “Hayley Potter”

Sparkmate of Winglord Starscream of Vos

P.S. Just to warn you, that my sparkmate is the king of our city, and we are very involved in the politics of our planet and so have had close connections with the leader of Cybertron who we happen to have had to make a treaty of alliance with all of the leaders of Earth, who certainly wouldn’t like to see relationships between Cybertron and Earth ruined, all because of a tiny community of imbeciles who can’t take “no ̎ for an answer. So unless you want to have as your enemies the whole entire Earth and a foreign planet, leave me and my family alone!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by HPFanFrench. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from HPFanFrench: Hooo I like the letters it’s so funny! XD Hey here a little serie of rejection letters which are a crossover with Transformers G1! ^_^

Here the first one (sorry for my spelling English is not my first language! ^_^’)

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Death Note belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 208

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #215
Submitted By: Timesquadgirl
===============================

Dear Ministry of Imbeciles,

I had received your letter to my wife Luna. Yes, you read that correctly: “wife,” so she is not interested in marrying some wizard you picked out for her. Please cease and desist any more letters. Oh, and Luna had already taken care of the aurors you sent after her, and, well, next time we won’t be so merciful.

Worst of all regards,

Light Yagami


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Timesquadgirl. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Timesquadgirl: I have an idea involving the anime “Death Note“, written by Light Yagami.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and GATE: Thus The JSDF Fought There belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 854

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #216
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

Dear Ministry of Morons,

Given that I am currently on a long-term mission for the Department of Mysteries, exploring a whole new world, I would have thought that myself, and my fellow explorers Hermione and Luna, would be exempt from this idiotic law. I’m guessing someone slipped some Galleons to have this sent by House Elf to this world.

I’m sure by now you’re already aware of the Gate that opened up in Tokyo, and how a limited reveal of the existence of magic on Earth was made. That Gate leads to the same world where I was sent to some time before, a world that the Japanese Self-Defence Forces have since come to. Long story short, the Gate, and the Veil as well, were left in place by a rather irresponsible death goddess called Hardy, who likes to light the blue touch paper and watch fireworks go off. She also doesn’t understand the concept of consent, as my friend Rory Mercury can attest to, but I digress.

Anyway, shortly after landing in this world, I ended up rescuing Queen Tyuule of the Bunny Warriors from Prince Zorzal El Caesar of the Saderan Empire, who wanted her to become his concubine (though that’s too good a term for what he wanted her for) in exchange for her people’s lives (he was going to renege on it anyway).

A silly name, ‘Bunny Warrior’, but you try arguing with a race of beautiful women with rabbit ears who can gut you like a fish. After I helped her people drive off the Imperial Army, I got caught up in the celebrations, and, well, Potter marriage rings got involved. So, even if you want me to divorce her, I can’t.

We may not have been in love when it happened...but we’ve grown to love each other. Tyuule is a strong woman. Not only that, but because she wants more mages in her tribe, she’s open to my having other lovers, though I have only done so with her trusted lieutenant, Delilah. Between us, we have three beautiful children. And you want to take that away from us? Especially after how Magical Britain treated me?

As for Luna, she’s hooked up with a lovely Elf girl by the name of Tuka. And Hermione’s with one of the Japanese who came here, Youji Itami. He’s a lazy dork and more of an otaku than a soldier, but his heart is in the right place. Oh, and would you believe Sirius is alive, well, and hooked up with a Dark Elf with even worse luck than him? Still, Yao’s nice.

Now, you might think you can force the issue. It’d be in your best interests to reconsider. Why? Well, I know some pretty powerful people. Leaving aside that most of the JSDF are on my side, and even a Muggle army as inexperienced as the JSDF could kick your arses nine times out of ten, there’s also the Bunny Warriors, who make the average soldier here or on Earth look like wusses. And my love is their Queen, and one of their best warriors.

There is also Hermione’s protege, Lelei La Lelena, a prodigy of a mage who is pretty scarily good at creating new spells. There’s Tuka, of course, who could put an arrow through your eye before you know she’s there. There’s Princess Pina Co Lada, with whom I have been friends with for some time, and who is getting better at kicking arse, along with her Rose Knights. And then, there’s Rory Mercury. She looks like a thirteen year old Gothic Lolita, is actually over nine hundred years old, is the rather bloodthirsty envoy of the god of war and calamity, and can dice you up before you can say ‘Avada Kedavra’ with an oversized halberd. And we’re friends.

If you still want to press the issue, go ahead. I’m sure that the Unspeakables will be all too happy to classify your deaths as ‘suicide’.

Yours sincerely,

Harry Potter

Consort of Queen Tyuule of the Bunny Warriors


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Okay, I’ve got another one, some shameless plugging for my recently-released story “Parva Sub Ingenti“, a crossover with “GATE: Thus The JSDF Fought There“.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 346

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #217
Submitted By: lordMartiya
===============================

To the United Kingdom's Ministry of Magic,

I have received one of your letters, effectively demanding my participation in your breeding program. Leaving aside the merits, or lack thereof of said program as it is organized, I fear I cannot be a part of it for a number of reasons:

  1. I am not a citizen of your land, so I am not eligible.
  2. I do not reside in your Universe, let alone your land, so I am not eligible.
  3. As a former Kaioh and an apprentice Kaioshin, thus a God, I am not bound by mortal laws.
  4. Even if I decided to take part in your program, as a member of the Shinjin race I am closer to a plant, and lack a compatible reproductive apparatus. That's without the various genetic problems.

Now, my intended reaction would be to come to your seat of power and exterminate you all for such presumption, but I am bound by divine laws that limit my ability to interfere with mortals. Should you try and force me to participate in your breeding program, however, you will have struck first, and I will be free to retaliate, within limits.

Zamasu

P.S.: If you need help with repopulation, please direct your prayers for help to lord Shin, the Kaioshin of your universe.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by lordMartiya. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol<

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Idiocracy belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 604

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #218
Submitted By: AzureNight1994
===============================

Dear Ministry of Magical Idiots,

Of which case is very literal considering the current state of the world, but I suppose it makes too much sense to be a joke. I would question how the wizarding world still exists but, well I would be lying if I didn’t believe you and you’re ancestors to be complete and total idiots and that you were already an Idiocracy way before this age.

I’m honestly surprised you found me, considering you have the collective intellect of a wet noodle, or that you realized that I’m immortal. However I must refuse you’re request, as firstly any child I have would die before me, much like my previous children. You know from hundreds of years ago, from my now deceased wife Ginerva ‘Ginny’ Weasley, the ones who were murdered.

If you are wondering whether I am any less displeased at the murder of my family, then no, no I am not. In-fact I am still quite pissed off. Not simply because you are interrupting my board game night with ‘Death’ (yes ‘Death‘ with a capital ‘D’), the Flamel’s (No they didn’t die), and Dracula CXLIII (Dracula 143. Apparently still a very popular name with the vampires). Today’s game is Monopoly and I want to win.

But also because I became the defacto leader of the Theocracy/Cult/Country of ‘New Crete’ whilst the weather is lovely it does come with a lot of paperwork since:

  • A: I cannot allocate paperwork to idiots.
  • B: Whilst I have somewhat educated them, they are still a Theocracy/Cult which worships Thanatos, and I would be somewhat annoyed if they elect to kill in my name again. Though I suppose taking them on a trip to Britain might not be that bad....
  • C: Crete is probably the cleanest place since I took over and I very much like relaxing on the beach, and if I left I doubt I’d find it in the same condition I left it in... Probably with more corpses.
  • D: Convincing them not to spread the Olympian Hellenic religion and their patron Primordial Thanatos to others and not annexing other countries to make an empire would be more difficult if I’m not here, in-fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they had started a world conquest.

So now that I have gotten that out of the way to simplify I’m already forced to be a leader to keep my comfy, relaxing vacation home from being wrecked and am procedurally telling you to shove your request up your arse.

But. Allow. Me. To. Dumb. Down. My. Reply. NO! I. Will. Not. Marry. Anyone. Go. A. Way.

From,

Harry Potter AKA

Thanatos, Master of Death, Immortal, and best Monopoly player


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by AzureNight1994. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from AzureNight1994: Just thought of one, a movie called ‘Idiocracy‘ popped into my head so xover.


Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Inuyasha belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 296

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #219
Submitted By: Jostanos
===============================

*ahem* And now for something completely different..

A Kitsune firing a flea from his nose! *narrows his eyes* You took that seriously? Really? *sighs*

Any Who.. hears a Horton.. *coughs* RIGHT! To the point.

Myouga: Do you have any idea how many times Jostanos has posted that running gag in various media? I HATE THAT GAG!

Shippo: *shrugs* I dunno, Myouga.. Firing you from my nose can be fun! *eye smiles then narrows his eyes* But it does get repetitive after awhile.

Myouga: *nods* My point exactly. Onto a different matter though.. Lady Rin isn’t going anywhere with those morons from Britain. She’s happy being Sesshoumaru’s ward.. for the moment at least.

Shippo: If you’re wondering why Jaken isn’t saying anything on Rin’s behalf? He and Sesshoumaru are busy travelling with Rin at the moment. Where to? *shrugs* Why would they tell us?


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Jostanos. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Jostanos: *blinks* GASP! “Spoilers”, Q? Not that I really mind. After all “Parva Sub Ingenti“ is a wonderful story, and a joy to read. :)


Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 660

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #220
Submitted By: Architeuthis
Sequel to: Letters #149 and #209
===============================

To the Ministry of Morons,

BUGGER OFF!

You people do not have the right to order people to get marriednor do you have the right to knowingly send Aurors into a life-threatening situation for which they are not prepared! That is especially true when the Aurors in question are too stupid or arrogant to follow the long established safety protocols at a Dragon Reserve.

First off, people who want to visit a Dragon Reserve, regardless of their purpose, need to schedule an appointment. They can’t just Apparate in willy-nilly. Representatives of the DMLE have to follow this rule just like anybody else.

Second, visitors are required to wait at the Visitors’ Center. They are not supposed to wander unescorted through the reserve looking for people. The reason for this rule should be obvious. Dragons are large, aggressive predators that have been known to eat people. Since they can fly, they can also sometimes take people by surprise - and they can certainly fly faster than a human being can run.

Auror John Dawlish, and his team, broke both these rules. At the time of their arrival, I was working in the nesting mothers’ area – and dragons are at their most ill-tempered and aggressive when they are guarding their eggs. Maleficent, a Hungarian Horntail, is particularly nasty- even when she isn’t nesting. I don’t know the story that inspired her name, but it fits her perfectly.

I believe even you idiots can work out what happened. The noise of Dawlish and his team Apparating in startled and angered Maleficent, and she roasted all three Aurors. It took precious minutes for me and my fellows to subdue her so our healer and her team could move in and help the Aurors. In my opinion, Auror Dawlish was luckier than he deserved, for he survived. One of his teammates wasn’t so fortunate, and her body was sent back to her grieving family.

My boss, of course, is furious. He prides himself on the excellent safety record our reserve has long enjoyed. The safety protocols we have work – BUT ONLY WHEN PEOPLE FOLLOW THEM!

As per another part of standard protocol, he has reported the incident to the Romanian Ministry of Magic. Their representatives administered Veritaserum and collected Pensieve memories, so they know what actually happened. I’ve since heard that the Romanian government is not at all impressed with your blustering insistence that 1) I need to return to England to marry someone I don’t even know, and 2) I am somehow responsible for what happened to those Aurors.

I have already explained why I disagree with that last point, and I recently broke my parents’ hearts by informing them that I will never return to England until this horrible marriage law was repealed. It is causing nothing but heartbreak for countless families, and it is forcing Aurors into impossible or even deadly situations.

Charlie Weasley


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Architeuthis: As requested, here’s the sequel to Bill and Arthur’s letters.

Sakura, I’ll see if I can do a Molly-style Howler - but you may have noted that I have an easier time writing for male characters for some reason.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Sailor Moon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 252

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #221
Submitted By: tanithlipsky
===============================

To the Utterly IDIOTIC Ministry of illogical decisions,

I command all of you... Do not contact my husband about coercing him to agree and obey your stupid marriage law ever again.

In my eyes, all of you are STUPID and WORTHLESS trash. This is not a warning. This is the truth.

If you do it again, well... I have the power to destroy a planet. I will destroy your whole society and you will all be extinct, peons.

Yours very insincerely,

(EXCEPT ABOUT DESTROYING YOUR SOCIETY AND MAKING ALL OF YOU EXTINCT)

Sailor Galaxia/ Mrs. Longbottom

PS: I AM NOT JOKING! If ANYONE TRIES ANYTHING, EVERYONE DIES!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by tanithlipsky. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from tanithlipsky: This is a crack pairing, in which a still-villainous Sailor Galaxia somehow marries Neville. My mind is mad... lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Super Paper Mario belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 190

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #222
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

Count Bleck is really confused. Why would you guys want Count Bleck for this marriage thing? For one, I may use magic but I’m not a wizard.

So Count Bleck is not able to do so, and Count Bleck already has a lover. Her name is Timpani, so Count Bleck can’t go along with this.

Sincerely,

Count Bleck aka Lord Blumiere


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Super Paper Mario belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 168

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #223
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

I Dimentio, Master of Dimensions and Pleasure of Crowds, cannot go along with this.

I don’t want to marry some annoying brat because you say so.

So don’t bother me again.

Sincerely,

Dimentio Master of Dimensions

Pleasure of Crowds Ciao

Ps I love Mimi


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Z-Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 206

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #224
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letters #161 and #187
Response to: Letter #207
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

STOP SENDING ME LETTERS! I’M NOT GOING TO MARRY SOME ASSHOLE! SO YOU CAN TAKE THIS MARRIAGE CHARADE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND IF YOU DON’T, I’LL COME UP THERE JUST TO BURN THE WHOLE MINISTRY DOWN!

Sincerely,

Android 18 Aka Lazuli

P.s. I also heard about the whole fiasco with Gohan and Goku. I’m ten times worst then those two.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Cuphead belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 403

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #225
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

Why would you guys want me and my boss to participate in this marriage proposal?!

You guys do know that he’s literally The Devil?! When I showed him the letter he laughed and said they must be pretty desperate to have us on it.

Sincerely,

King Dice and The Devil

P.S. I also heard you wrote a letter to Cuphead and Mugman. THEY’RE CHILDREN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Cuphead belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 152

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #226
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letter #225
===============================

Dear Ministry Of Magic,

NONONONONONO!

Not happening! My sons are not going through with this marriage proposal!

They’re kids! Not adults!

So stop!

Sincerely

Elder Kettle


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 213

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #227
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letters #98, #180 and #188
Response to: Letters #207 and #224
===============================

OKAY, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SENDING MY MASTER LETTERS?! HE’S THE ONMI KING! NOT A HUMAN!

WE ALSO HEARD FROM GOKU AND GOHAN WHAT YOU TRIED TO DO TO GOTEN AND ALSO TO ANDROID 18, WHO IS GOING TO MAKE THEM TO STOP.

BUT MY MASTER CAN’T MARRY SOME GIRL. FOR ONE HE HAS RESPONSIBILITIES THAT REQUIRES HIM AND TWO HE’S NOT HUMAN! SO STOP OR YOU WILL REGRET IT!

Sincerely,

The Grand Priest


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Undertale belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 238

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #228
Submitted By: Firehedgehog
===============================

Dear Ministry of Mindless morons,

I have no clue where you mages got the idea that you could marry one of my children to your inbred bratz. Frisk is only seven, and I have fully adopted them, and we don’t even live in England.

You should be glad that Sans stopped me from heading your way and turning all of you into dust.

I don’t care if their name was once Harry, I won’t let you sell them off to be raped for a law that is illegal everywhere!

Queen of Monsters Toriel

P.s. Don’t try this again, or you’ll have a bad day and will be burning in HELL!

-Sans


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Firehedgehog. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Transformers: Bayverse belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 511

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #229
Submitted By: Freerunner4427
Sequel to: Letter #204
===============================

To the Ministry of Suicidal Morons,

WOW.

And here I thought Mom was kidding about these letters!

Before you morons actually have the damn audacity to try and order me of all people around, I suggest you review the paperwork I have so helpfully included with this reply. They will detail the circumstances of my own mating, while the pictures included with it will give you just an idea of how badly my mates will react should any more of your ‘Aurors’ attempt to forcibly detain me.

Fair warning to any others who accept the mission. My mates have a little something called ‘Gladiator Protocol‘ hardwired into their processors. It sends them into a homicidal rage should I, or any of our four sparklings, be threatened. Just ask President Russo about what happened to an individual called Megatron if you don’t believe me.

If those are not evidence enough, we will ensure that the mangled remains of your ‘Aurors’ are shipped home with full honors and awarded the Darwin Medal of Outstanding Stupidity post-humorously.

Fuck off. It’s for your own preservation.

Sincerely,

Selena D. Metalia

Crown Princess of the United Magical Nations of Ishgar, Frostland, Arakitashia, and Giltena

Lady High Protector of Cybertron

Rear Admiral of the United States Marine Core

Director of N.E.S.T

Matriarch of the Metalia Clan, Branch Clan of the Ibrida Clan

P.S. As a courtesy for the years of alliance between our two countries, I feel the need to warn you that Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are already chomping at the bit to be unleashed upon your Ministry. If I do decide to give them free reign, I can guarantee that your entire society will be leveled to the ground. And that’s before I get my hands on you, and before mom finds out.

P.S.S. Appealing to Optimus or the American Government for their help will not save you. They’re just as pissed off about this fiasco as we are, although they are more inclined towards mercy.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Freerunner4427. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Freerunner4427: These next few letters are follow up’s from the AU Vega’s Kids and the members of her clan if that wasn’t clear. These all contain spoilers for a future set of stories that I have in the works.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Avengers belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 416

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #230
Submitted By: Freerunner4427
Sequel to: Letter #204
===============================

To the Ministry of Damn Idiots,

I’m not entirely sure what kind of fucked up bullshit you people are trying to pull, but let me make something crystal clear.

I HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH THE HELL THAT IS BEING SHOT TO ANOTHER DIMENSION, FOUR DAMN TIMES I MIGHT ADD, TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO BY A BUNCH OF INBRED MORONS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN FORCIBLY PULLED INTO THE 21ST CENTURY!

I am perfectly happy with my Mates as it is, any and all attempts to force me to comply with your demands will be met with authorized lethal force by the agency I am currently employed by. I do believe that Queen Elizabeth should be sending you a message very soon to ream your asses out about pissing off one of the AVENGERS to the point of them declaring a Blood Feud.

Have fun explaining your monumental screw-up to Her Majesty!

Flash D. Dreyar

Prince of the United Magical Nations of Ishgar, Frostland, Arakitashia, and Gilena

Agent Drake of S.H.E.I.L.D.

P.S. We have not been through the hell that was Hydra’s experiments to have our light ripped away from us by you idiots. Try this again, and you will be getting your ‘Aurors’ back in pieces instead of mildly (by our standards anyway) traumatized for the rest of their natural lives. ~ Pietro and Wanda Maximoff (Soon to be Dreyar if we have any say in the matter.)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Freerunner4427. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Freerunner4427: These next few letters are follow up’s from the AU Vega’s Kids and the members of her clan if that wasn’t clear. These all contain spoilers for a future set of stories that I have in the works.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Final Fantasy 7 and One Piece belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 482

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #231
Submitted By: Freerunner4427
Sequel to: Letter #204
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic:

I, Estel D. Dreyar, do hereby gleefully decline your demands that I marry a Pureblood Male of your choosing. Not only am I the Commander-In-Chief of the United Magical Nation’s Army and Navy, but I am also currently embroiled in dictating a war against one Oligarchy.

I have little regard for the trials and tribulations of your own country, as I am not even a citizen of Britan and therefore not subject to your laws, but after hearing about the missives you have sent my siblings and cousins, I also have little hesitation in informing your Queen about the monumental mistake you are about to commit.

Marriage Law or not, The Ibrida Clan is considered unsuitable to all comers, despite our impressive magical strength, by your own bylaws due to the direct creature lineage we all posses. It is due to this same lineage that we each have our own Mate that is selected for us by Fate herself. No other will do for us, and we are more inclined to kill all comers that are not our mate should they attempt to force us.

Should you force our hand, we will ANNIHILATE you.

That is not a threat, but a promise.

Disrespectfully,

Estel D. Dreyar

Princess of the United Magical Nations of Ishgar, Frostland, Arakitashia, and Giltena

Commander-In-Chief of the United Magical Army and Navel Forces

Director of SOLDIER

Director of the Turks

President of Shinra

P.S. Be thankful that Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal, Zack, and Cloud weren’t there to witness Estel write this reply. I myself must warn you against sending that reply. Estel will not be nearly as cordial and merciful a second time, and I find myself eager to see what our little mate will do to you should you persist. ~ Charlotte Katakuri


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Freerunner4427. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Freerunner4427: These next few letters are follow up’s from the AU Vega’s Kids and the members of her clan if that wasn’t clear. These all contain spoilers for a future set of stories that I have in the works.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and One Piece belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 511

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #232
Submitted By: Freerunner4427
Sequel to: Letter #204
===============================

To the Ministry of Magic,

I am replying in lew of my brother, Leviathan D. Dreyar, as he is currently incapacitated as well as for myself. Due to extenuating circumstances and a multitude of grievous and life-threatening injuries, Leviathan has been trapped in a medically induced coma for nearly three years.

I can tell you now, Gramps was NOT impressed with the way your so called Aurors conducted themselves when they were welcomed onto his ship, and if it wasn’t for my mother stepping in to claim their heads herself, you would be left with little more than smears of blood on the Moby’s deck.

Leviathan’s MATE, a lovely man by the name of Thatch Twinblade (yes my brother is open, gleefully, and flamboyantly GAY,) has made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that he will take the heads of anyone attempting to kidnap his husband before displaying their severed balls as a warning.

I, on the other hand, am not only happily married to the loves of my life, I am intensely amused at the fact that they are willing to forego their highly public and well-known rivalry to defend my honor. It goes without saying that the rest of my crew will happily back them up as they raze your little empire to the ground to get me back.

After all, I suppose even you have heard about what the Straw Hat Pirates did to CP9.

Cordially yours,

Diana D. Dreyar

Princess of the United Magical Nations of Ishgar, Frostland, Arakitashia, and Giltena

Tactician of the Straw Hat Pirates

P.S. Since the moss head is currently destroying several acres of forest in an attempt to vent the rage from this, it falls to me to give you this warning. Attempt to take Diana, and we will show you exactly why we are members of the Monster Trio. ~ Dreyar Sanji, also on behalf of Dreyar Zoro (Yes we took her name, I disowned my family roughly a year ago and Zoro is an orphan.)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Freerunner4427. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Freerunner4427: These next few letters are follow up’s from the AU Vega’s Kids and the members of her clan if that wasn’t clear. These all contain spoilers for a future set of stories that I have in the works.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Devil May Cry belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 693

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #233
Submitted By: Freerunner4427
Sequel to: Letter #204
===============================

To the Dumbasses who embarrassingly call themselves Wizards,

I have no idea what you people expected to happen when you tried to kidnap Astrea, but I personally feel that letting them off with bullets in their kneecaps was light. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, Dante has a strict policy about not killing humans that aren’t involved in demonic pacts. He doesn’t have a policy against brutal maiming, however, which is why your Aurors are near unrecognizable but still alive, even though they probably wish they aren’t.

Just in case you people are thinking about trying to pull this shit again, I’m going to outline just how deep the hole you have dug yourself really is.

You just tried to kidnap the wife of a Demon Hunter. Not just any Demon Hunter, but THE Demon Hunter, Dante Sparda. Yes, he is the son of the same Devil Class Demon that pulled our asses out of the fire over two thousand years ago. Not only that, but you also tried to kill their daughter, who is just as crass and bull-headed as her father along with being just as good of a shot with her guns, on the premises that she was an abomination.

To be clear, we are also talking about the same woman who shot the Demon King Mundus in the face, and mauled his servants to the point of death. If she could do that, what do you think she could do to the weak-willed idiot you people are trying to pair her up with?

Vergil is all for taking pot-shots at you people for a bonding experience with his son. Nero is actually on board with the idea, as you idiots have been pissing off his favorite aunt and his baby cousin.

Next time, we start aiming to kill.

Lady and Trish

P.S. I thought my mom already told you idiots to piss off! Do you people really wanna see what amount of property damage that the twin sons of Sparda can cause when they are sufficiently pissed off? Not to mention what I would do to you! ~Astrea D. Sparda

P.S.S. I am not a bloodthirsty person, despite my job. That said, I am giving Vergil free reign to kill anyone in bathrobes that show up looking for us. We’ll ship whatever pieces we can find to their families. That should tell you just how pissed off I am. ~ Dante Sparda

P.S.S.S. Fuck with my family again, and I will have no qualms about unleashing the monster that Mundus turned me into. ~ Vergil Sparda

P.S.S.S.S. I’m with dad on this. Screw with us and I’ll dance on the ashes of your ministry after we BURN it to the ground. ~ Nero Sparda

P.S.S.S.S.S. Did you know that Dragon blood combined with Demon blood creates a Demon Dragon? None of us knew before I was born. Cross us again and I’ll be the one supplying the fire. ~ Bianca D. Sparda


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Freerunner4427. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Freerunner4427: These next few letters are follow up’s from the AU Vega’s Kids and the members of her clan if that wasn’t clear. These all contain spoilers for a future set of stories that I have in the works.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 416

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #234
Submitted By: lordMartiya
Sequel to: Letter #217
===============================

To the United Kingdom’s Ministry of Magic,

Greetings, it is Zamasu again. This time I’m writing about your recent assault on my person, executed after your Aurors somehow managed to reach the Sacred World of the Kai of Universe 10. I suppose I should congratulate you for such a feat, if it wasn’t so blasphemous.

Anyway, after incapacitating them, I interrogated your Aurors, who explained to me the situation: a test letter for the summons of your ill-thought breeding project was prepared and addressed to a made-up name that, by an unlikely but possible coincidence, just happened to be mine, and after my letter you decided that the explanation of my divine nature somehow meant I was a Harry James Potter, a person supposedly so incredibly arrogant that entering possession of the artifacts that grant the title of Master of Death would have driven him to declare himself a god. I do not know of this Harry James Potter, or being the Master of Death, but I am neither. I am an apprentice for the honor of becoming a God of Creation.

Now, you have assaulted me, and in my previous letter I announced that I would retaliate. But upon discovering you acted not by wickedness but by ignorance I preferred consulting my master on the opportunity of sparing you, and he instructed me to stay my hand for the time being, and only consult the God of Destruction of your Universe 6 for the retaliation if you committed your blasphemous actions once again.

Make treasure of this occasion.

Zamasu


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by lordMartiya. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from lordMartiya: Here it comes, Zamasu again. Thanks. And prepare for the next entries, for this one is part of a story arc.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Saints Row belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 446

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #235
Submitted By: Drixel
===============================

To the “Ministry of Magic”,

Didn’t realise you guys had a death wish, trying to force the Boss of all people to do something. Then again people underestimate us all the time so I guess this type of shit checks out.

I’ve never seen the Boss so pissed off before, those guys you sent didn’t stand a chance. Who knew a gun was better than a wand? At first I didn’t have a clue what was going on, I thought it was just the Boss having a bad day and taking it out on some unlucky chumps in fancy dress but then she got drunk.

Really drunk. Drunker than drunk. Then she started babbling about magic and wizards so I thought someone had laced her drink so I brought up to her room just in case and it was trashed so I started cleaning up for her when I found your little letter.

Long story short, who the FUCK do you think you are? She aint a citizen of the British Magical World, she aint even a part of British Regular World no more. Like she is legally classified as an American citizen and has been for as long as I’ve known her, for as long as I have loved her.

What the Boss and I have is something special, something I thought I could only find with Eesh, before I lost her. Hell, I nearly lost the Boss too, which is all the more reason for me to keep her by my side.

You can have Harolyn Jamesina Potter over my dead body, though knowing her you asshole’s’ll be dead the moment you set foot in Stilwater. This is her city and her life. I won’t let you interfere.

Gat

P.S. Idk who this “Draco Malfoy” is but he sounds like a dick, and if he wants her he can fight me for her B)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Drixel. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and She-Ra: Princess of Power belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 744

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #236
Submitted By: Architeuthis
Response to: Letter #80
===============================

To Madam Lilith Crawford
Head Director of Regulation of Magical Marriages Ministry Department

You, madam, are an imbecile, and Horde Prime is equally bereft of sense.

Upon meeting, Hordak and I quickly came to some conclusions, after much shouting and ill-grace on both our parts, beginning with the fact that we had absolutely no desire to marry each other.

We also deeply resented the Ministry and Horde Prime for forcing us into this farce of a relationship. We also agreed that we found each other physically repulsive. If I were to marry again, I assure you I would not choose a man who looked like something you’d find in a cave, had red teeth, and snorted like a pig between every few words when speaking.

I can only speculate that we were matched because of our prowess in Transfiguration. I have to admit I have never before encountered a Metamorphmagus who could transform parts of his own body into Muggle tools or weapons. As intriguing as that ability is, a shared interest in Transfiguration is a very slender reed on which to base a marriage.

In addition, Hordak is not human. If we did have children, they would be half-breeds, with all the societal and physical problems that entails. I thus suggested that we visit Healer Rhea Warrington to discuss the feasibility of having children before we did anything else.

Healer Warrington’s face, when she saw us together, was a study and made it very plain that she foresaw... difficulties. “You can’t be serious!” she exclaimed.

Hordak strode forward and slammed his Ministry letter on her desk. “Does this look like a joke to you?!” he snarled/snorted.

With somewhat more decorum, I presented Healer Warrington with my own letter. After examining the letters, Healer Warrington conceded they were genuine.

“They’ve lost their bloody minds,” she said. “There are reasons half-breeds are rare. In addition, a majority of them are infertile. Even if you did have children, they probably wouldn’t be able to have children themselves, which defeats the purpose of this insane marriage law. There are potions that can increase the physical compatibility between parents of different races, but even those won’t guarantee the fertility or even the good health of a hybrid child.”

“Can you get us out of this?” Hordak demanded. “We met two days ago, and we already know that we don’t want to marry, much less have children together.”

“I can write a letter describing all of the problems I foresee with your having a family together, and there are loads. Professor, forgive me, but how old are you?”

“I am eighty years old,” I told her.

“That’s well past reproductive age,” she commented. “I’d need to give you a fertility potion, and some of those interact with compatibility potions in unpredictable ways that aren’t good for the mother or their child.”

We continued discussing the matter. At one point, Hordak admitted that he’d adopted his one daughter and had never sired a child. That meant he might need a fertility potion, too. Healer Warrington then cast diagnostic spells on us both and determined that the odds of us having healthy children together were remote. I have enclosed the results of her examination for your perusal.

To sum it all up, Hordak and I are not getting married, and we are most certainly not starting a family together.

Professor Minerva McGonagall

Headmistress of Hogwarts


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Architeuthis: You can thank or blame Netflix for the above crackfic. I recently read that they are making a reboot of She-Ra, and that gave me this rabid plotbunny.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and One Piece belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,104

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #237
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested by: Gabriel Herrol
===============================

To Whom It May Concern,

I must admit that for jokes directed at a guy who is literally near death within a few short days, this really has to be the lamest one ever, especially at a time like this. Imagine my surprise when the prison guards of Impel Down came storming into my prison cell carrying dozens of letters that were sent to me by you people that are ‘requesting’ my immediate return to some country I have never even heard of before so that I may be married off to some girl I don’t know.

Seeing how many letters there are, your letters must have really gotten on the nerves of the prison guards before they finally broke down and brought them to me, in hopes that by ‘letting’ me reply to one of them will make the onslaught of incoming letters stop, and they only unshackled my hands long enough just so I could write this letter, though they kept on the Sea Foam Manacles so I won’t be able to use my powers against them. The guards even admitted that they had tried opening the letters themselves, only to be electructed by the letters for trying. I think they were hoping I’d get shocked as well, but were surprised when I didn’t get shcocked as they made me open every single one of those letters for them. Nice trick by the way though.

Since they still can’t touch the letters without getting shocked, my jailers have ‘requested‘ that I take the time to write my reply to you and turn your request down in hopes that your army of owls will FINALLY stop bombarding Impel Down with these letters, and they ‘ask’ that you stop before they track you down and have all of you arrested for causing them this amount of trouble. They’ve already arrested the group of so called ‘law enforcers’ who tried to break in, and are currently holding them until they go to trial for illegal breaking and entering of a government facility.

I don’t know how you jackasses even got my name in order to try and involve me in this ‘marriage law’ of yours, though seeing how there is a second one on this letter maybe it’s a mistake of some kind. My name is NOT Harry James Potter, never has been and never will be. I never even HEARD of the name before until I read it on this letter above my own name. The name is Portgas D. Ace, remember it and kindly use it.

Even if I was this Harry James Potter person, I’m under no inclination to help you with your repopulation problem if I wanted to, unless you missed the part of my letter where I said my PRISON GUARDS had to bring me your letters. Yes I said PRISON GUARDS, as in I am currently locked away in the high security prison known as Impel Down, very relunctantly awaiting for my public execution which is coming up very soon.

I’m a well known Pirate captain across the world, but if you asked my guards, they would tell you that it mainly ISN’T because of MY crimes as a pirate that I’m being executed for, but I’m being executed simply for the crime of being born to the wrong parents, who have both been dead since I was a newborn baby.

I’ve known for years that even if I hadn’t become a pirate, I could have even been living a normal, criminal free lifestyle, but I knew that as soon ANYBODY found out who my father was, they would STILL come and arrest and execute me, just for the ‘crime’ of being my fathers son, even though the man has been dead longer than I have been alive.

Even if you somehow did get me pardoned from this farce of a execution trial, or broke me out of prison, I can tell ya right now that I still wouldn’t be interested in marrying some girl I don’t know. I have more important things to do with my life, no matter how short it currently might be, than to be with someone I don’t love or want to be with because of some law made in a country I have never even heard to nor have I lived in it in order for me to be considered a citizen of it.

Insincerely yours,

Captain Portgas D. Ace

Whitebeard Pirates Second Division Commander

P.s. Besides, as much I hate saying this since I’ll wind up dying because of it, trust me when I say that I am doing all of you a ‘favor’ by refusing this marriage law of yours. Though the favor would mostly be directed at my wanna be bride. It’ll keep HER alive so that she can LIVE out the rest of her days in peace with some OTHER ‘lucky’ guy than ME.

Unless you know a way to keep me, my new bride, and any future kids we might have hidden from the World Government and Marines, seeing how they are planning to kill ME just because of who MY dad is, what do you think they will do to MY kids, AND their MOTHER just for being together with me, if it’s discovered they exist? They wouldn’t care if they are kids who aren’t old enough to deserve being killed or not. They just want my fathers bloodline completely erased from the world by any means necessary.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently requested to my review box by Gabriel Herrol who wanted a letter written by Portgas D. Ace.
lol

Gabriel Herrol asked that I make a letter written by Portgas D. Ace from One Piece gets a letter from the ministry while in Impel Down waiting for his execution. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Doki Doki Literature Club belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 315

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #238
Submitted By: jeanette9a
===============================

From Sender: Harry J. Potter
To: The British M.O.M

I will have to inform that I’m happily married to my lovely Monika. And she rewrote the laws of the universe just to be with me. Safe to say the little hiccups she had with Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki in the beginning, will seem pleasant in comparison to what she will do to you if you try to come to get me. Safe to say hadn’t it been for my foresight in saving their data to an external hard drive and disconnecting it before Monika got to them they would not be alive today.

Also, I just wanted to tell you that Monika has coded us back into the DDLC universe and since magic and computers don’t mix well if you don’t know what you are doing. I sensory doubt you will be able to follow us. So, we should be long gone when you receive this message.

P.S My wife has this to say: HaRrY wILl Not sET fOot oN tHis wORld iF I hAVe a sAY iN It. He will love JuST MonIkA


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by jeanette9a. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Five Nights At Freddy’s belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 444

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #239
Submitted By: jeanette9a
===============================

To M.O.M in Brittan.

So, it has come to my attention that you want me to participate in a ridiculous marriage law. I will happily have to say that I’m in fact dead and possessing an animatronic body. I was taken out of the mortal coil due to the neglect of my so-called muggle guardians while visiting the states. So, I’m dead and have no other way of giving life than giving gifts. Which involves me transferring dying people souls over to mechanical bodies. My friends who I gave the gift of life has become very protective and I’m no slouch myself. So, if you try to come to get me you are welcome to try but you will have to beat us in our little game. Not many of our guards could do that... Also the M.A.C.U.S.A. has deemed our premises a No-Maj zone for a reason.

I’m sure my friends are up for the challenge also if you step on the premises the only magic that will work is our own and you will have to survive without your magic abilities. How unfortunate for you and trust me I will not come quietly if you make it through the night. You will have to try to come to get me, so good luck not dying. Also, don’t think an army will help you out we have more than enough space to house you all. Since you know Fazbear entertainment has many facilities, which I am able to teleport to, so you would have to split up all over the Americas to hit all of them to even find me. Also, good luck trying to figure out which one is me I can assure you my new body isn’t even close to what I used to look like.

Sincerely,

Marionette AKA the Puppet


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by jeanette9a. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Elfen Lied belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 583

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #240
Submitted by: Quatermass
===============================

Dear Ministry of Morons,

I was very much angered to get a letter apiece for both myself and my son. I find it rather galling, considering that I was made persona non grata thanks to my husband despising the fact that I gave birth to a child with horns. I already have to deal with interference by the Japanese Ministry of Magic over what we call the Cuckoos’ Nest, a haven and school for Diclonii, and I thought I was done with you people.

When I first decided to come to Japan, I never knew it would lead my path to another Diclonius child, a girl called Kaede. I adopted her, gave her the name of Lucy, and she and Harry have been nigh-inseparable since. Indeed, they are now lovers, and while I am sure you might argue that their relationship is invalid considering that they are siblings, keep in mind that they are adoptive siblings with no genetic relation...thus making Lucy a far better choice than whatever inbred chit you have lined up.

I also have no desire to marry another British wizard. I have married Dr Kurama, a good man I saved from becoming a monster, thanks to the manipulations of a vile man called Kakuzawa. In doing so, not only have I added his Silpelit daughter Mariko to our family, but also his own adoptive Silpelit daughter, Nana, who is an absolute delight.

She is so unlike most Diclonii, it’s not funny. And we have, effectively, adopted another daughter, an unfortunate girl by the name of Mayu, whose stepfather and mother have had a bad case of karma come to them for their actions against Mayu.

I know there is a lot of hysteria about Diclonii and their violent instincts...but I have found that nurture wins out over nature in that regard. While Diclonii are still dangerous, I have found that treating them like human beings helps blunt their violent instincts. It’s a daily struggle...but they win. Should you try to tear Harry and Lucy apart, though, I will not be held responsible for what follows.

In case you wish to press the issue, I have a rather violent man by the name of Bandoh working on our security, to say nothing of the power of a bunch of angered Diclonii. Have you ever seen a Diclonius use their Vectors? If not, and you still wish to pursue this, then I say that you’re well overdue a Darwin Award.

You have been adequately warned.

Yours insincerely,

Lily Kurama

Director of the Cuckoos’ Nest

Formerly Lily Evans


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: So, yet another shameless plug from me, for my recently-released story “Children of the Revolution“, which is an “Elfen Lied“ crossover...

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Bionicle belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 587

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #241
Submitted by: Vic the Man
===============================

Dear British Ministry of Magic,

Harry James Potter... that is a name I haven’t heard in a very long time. Though ever since you threw me through the Veil of Death for the “murder“ of Cedric Diggory, which killed me, then revived me as a Toa, and then threw me to Metru Nui, a long time is to be expected. Actually how long has it been since that? I assume that time flows differently here, so I have no idea how long it has been... thoughts for later.

Regrettably, even if I had a way back to England, your law still wouldn’t work for me since I’m no longer human, nor would I wish to go through a ritual of some kind to turn me back into one. Plus being a 2.75 meter tall Biomechanical, “Bionicle” if you wish to shorten it, warrior with very high degree control over lightning or anything electrical in nature is really awesome and I don’t want to give it up.

Besides, after what I’ve been through: Rouge Metru Nui automated security bots with fellow rookie Toas, fighting the Spinarak as a semiferal Hordika, fighting the Makuta for the first time, evacuating the island of Metru Nui to the island of Mata Nui, who was their sleeping God I might add, being left alone for a century after my team turned into Turaga, fighting the Bohrok swarms with a new team of Toa, being beaten by by the elite Bohrak-Kal before assuming a new form, nearly killed by the dreaded Rhakshi assassins, fighting and losing to the leader of the Makuta, Teridax, before the newly awoken Toa of Light, Takanuva, would beat him, having to lead an eager team of rookies to Voya Nui to get the Mask of life to waken Mata Nui, beating the Pirhaka mercenaries and losing the mask to the ocean, mutating for a fourth time under the wave and arriving at Mahri Nui, fighting the mutated monstrosities that are the Barraki and Teridax possessing a very powerful security bot, saving Mata Nui at the cost of Matoro, being transported to the core of the world only to find my second team there with Takanuva, mutating for a fifth and final time, fighting the Makuta again, being tricked by Teridax so he could possess the physical body of Mata Nui, and finally joining all of my Toa brethren and sisters in a series of massive battles to protect everyone while Mata Nui and Teridax have their final showdown and reforming an entire PLANET... and this is just a basic summary of everything. Needless to say, you can all rot.

Yours truly,

Toa Harak

Toa of lightning

Wielder of the Mask of Polarity

Formerly Harry James Potter


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Vic the Man. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 375

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #242
Submitted by: The Hero of Reading
===============================

To whom ever this may concern,

I must say that I am deeply pleased with this Marriage Law that has been implemented. The plebeian masses just wouldn't of procreated without it! It has ensured that out numbers will skyrocket!

It is far more effective than a proper-gander push to encourage sexual activities, lacing food with a potion that increases libido or simply letting the population adjust by itself. This law is perfect and has no drawbacks at all!

It is unfortunate the majority of the wizards in our country have left for MACUSA, I suppose that is just how democracy works, if you don't like the laws being passed, you leave! Well I am sure it won't where the ones that want to marry muggles will go? Australia! Of course nobody would want to got there though MACUSA has needlessly restricting laws regarding marriage between muggles and wizards so they may have no choice! One must pity the fools.

Alas, I have caught myself rambling. I must depart for a spot of tea. i restate the stalwart faith in the Ministries of Magic's actions and- well it just moves me to tears the hard work you are doing to restore this country after that Dreadful-Person-Who-We-Are-Still-Too-Scared-To-Speak-About-Because-He-Was-Very-Very-Scary did his little thing.

With my deepest gratitude and the most sincere & enthusiastic admiration,

Henro Woolywolf of the Most Noble and Mysterious House of Duck


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by The Hero of Reading. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Disney’s Gargoyles belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 694

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #243
Submitted by: emyy250
===============================

“Did you have fun with Beth and Detective Maza?” Owen asked.

“Yeah, we-” Talia started.

A white owl tapped on the window. He let the bird in. It hopped inside and found who it wanted, Talia. She petted the bird before realizing there was a letter.

“Who uses owls to deliver mail?” She untied it.

“Talia, wait!” Owen tried to take it away as he saw the symbol on the page. “That’s from-”

Soon, two rageful screams filled the air as their magic wreaked havoc. Owen grew claws, fangs, and pointed ears. Talia screeched as large bird wings grew from her back, a muscular tail and set of legs coming next. Her face contorted as a fox muzzle extended from her mouth. Her ears became pointed. Their eyes blazed.

Several hours later, a large envelope appears at Ministry office. The letters read as follow.


Ministry of Magic,

Firstly, GET FUCKED! Secondly, that magic surge you felt? It was me. Thirdly, that was from shock.

You’re not using me or my powers to make some ‘pure-blooded’ babies with some ugly bastard. I am the princess of Avalon and a demigod. I can destroy you several times over. I’ll outlive you all anyway. Never thought that’d be a good thing. All the owls you send for me are now mine. I won’t do your stupid marriage thing and you can’t make me.

Signed Talia Xanatos-Burnett-Goodfellow


Dear British Ministry of Magic,

I have not been near Hogwarts for several centuries. It would do you good to remember that I am not just a merry wanderer of the night.

Owen Burnett/Puck/Robin Goodfellow


Dear Sorcerers of England,

You are not taking my rookery daughter away.

Sincerely Goliath of the Manhattan clan


Dear dumbasses,

This is one the most stupid stunts I’ve ever seen pulled. I’m horrified and impressed. But if you think you’ll get your hands on her, you’re wrong.

Brooklyn of the Manhattan clan


Dear Sorcerers of England,

It’s been a long time since I’ve fought any Englishman. But you’ll taste my sword long before you get near Talia.

Hudson of the Manhattan clan


Dear Ministry of Magic,

Perhaps you’ve figured out by now that some of your everyday spells and enchanted objects aren’t working anymore. I had some help, but once they heard what you demanded from us, they understood. It will stop after you annul all the marriages made by the law.

Lexington of the Manhattan clan


Dear British Ministry,

Pray we do not meet.

Angela of the Manhattan clan


Dear British Ministry of Magic,

You’re making a very grave mistake.

Katana of the Manhattan clan


Dear British Ministry of Magic,

This is messed up.

Nashville of the Manhattan clan


Attached to a box of broken wands is a simple ‘From Broadway’


British Ministry of Magic,

Forcing citizens and non-citizens into marriages is illegal and an abuse of power. I won’t let you hurt my family.

Elisa Maza, Detective Second Class of 23rd Precinct NYPD


Dear British Ministry of Magic,

I am appalled beyond words. This ‘law’ is disgusting and backwards. I hope you rot.

Beth Maza


Dear British Ministry of Magic,

I will take action should this continue and/or escalate. The mortal and magical worlds aren’t as separate as you want them to be.

David Xanatos


Attached to his letter are several photos of Ministry hired mercenaries.


My mother knows.

Fox


As they wondered who Fox and her mother was, a green mist entered the room.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by emyy250. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Dragon Ball Super belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 268

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #244
Submitted By: BlackTyrantValvatorez
Sequel to: Letters #212
Response to: Letter #20
===============================

Hey there Midgitry of Magicks,

I'm not the brightest person around, but you should know that your marriage law is kinda dumb when even a dolt like me can tell that it's nothing but trouble. I mean, people are getting the hell outta your country because of that law and you're not even considering to repeal it. That being said, I'm not gonna divorce Loony Luna because I'd get Nargle Flu if I did that. Oh, and did I forget to mention that Vegeta was less than impressed with you guys in his letter? I tell you, his response was a lot calmer compared to what you idiots tried to do with Kakarot's son and the female android.

Pleasant regards,

Nappa

Royal Vizier of the Saiyans.

Husband to Luna Nappa nee Lovegood.

P.S: Kakarot is the saiyan name of Goku


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by BlackTyrantValvatorez. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 334

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #245
Submitted By: Nobodystormcrow
===============================

To: the British Ministry of Magic

Dear Ministry,

We regret to inform you that due to Employment Law 3961-19-SI, our agents’ wishes take precedent over any laws of their former homeland. As it is Mr. Potter’s, Mr. Weasley, Ms. Granger etc.’s choice that they do not participate in your so-called “marriage law”.

You do not have international jurisdiction, nor does S.H.I.E.L.D., as an international peace-keeping organization have an extradition treaty with Magical Britain. Therefore, any attempts to reclaim your former citizens by force will be repelled by equal force. Many of your former operatives have also been granted asylum under S.H.I.E.L.D. authority, and a greater part of them are undergoing evaluation for futrther employment.

As Magical Britain, and the Ministry of Magic are not recognized authorities, nor independent countries, S.H.I.E.L.D. considers them illicit organizations, and will not hesitate to attack with extreme prejudice. We welcome all refugees from the Ministry of Magic’s authority’s regime, and are currently engaging in negotiations with the Crown to swiftly put an end to this shocking human rights violation. All interested parties may seek alternate employment at S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities.

Respectfully Yours,

Petra Erinyes

Supernatural Liasion

Librarian of Alexandria

Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (AEGIIIS)


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Nobodystormcrow. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Nobodystormcrow: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: because even the Aurors don’t agree with the law.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Pokémon belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 539

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #246
Submitted By: bleach103
Sequel to: Letters #115 and #160
Requested by: Elfin69
===============================

Location Ministry of Magic

Meeting about how to get Harry Potter/Ash Ketchum.

Umbridge
So everyone, I want you to get the brat here so we can get him to marry Miss Weasely.

Lucius
Yes Ma'am, we just got to wait for the Aurors to come so that we can go.

Umbridge
Good.

Fudge
Are you sure this is wise? I'm not against it, but the Japanese Minister of Magic said for us to not to go into their country without permission.

Umbridge
Don't worry minister. We ar...

But she was interrupted.

BOOM!

The loud noise scared them, and then a giant creature they didn't know blasted into the room with a small yellow mouse looking creature on top of it's head.

Arceus
WHY ARE YOU HUMANS TRYING TO KIDNAP OUR REGIONS CHOSEN ONE?!

Pikachu
Pika Pikapi (Yes, why are trying to steal my friend?!)

Umbridge
Filthy beast get out of this place NOW!

Arceus
HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT, YOU WORTHLESS HUMAN BEING?!

Random Person
Don't worry Lady Umbridge, I'll get rid of them! AVADA KED...

Gets shocked by Pikachus thunderbolt knocking him out.

Another Random Person
How dare you filthy beasts?! Creatures like you should be put down!

Umbridge
My thoughts exactly! Filthy beasts like yo..

Was once again interrupted.

Arceus
SILENCE HUMAN WORM! I'M TIRED OF YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO PERSUADE MY CHOSEN ONE TO GO INTO THIS MARRIAGE!

Lucius
But he's a wizard like us!

Arceus
NO HE ISN'T. HE'S AN AURA USER, NOT A WIZARD.

Umbridge
Lies! There has not been an Aura user since Sir Aaron!

Arceus
WELL, ASH IS ACTUALLY HIS REINCARNATION.

Pikachu
Chu (True.)

Arceus
AND YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH AN AURA USER! PLUS HE'S UNDER MY PROTECTION, SO DON’T EVEN TRY IT!

Umbridge
But he has to marry a Pureblood!

Arcues
HE'S A MINOR. HE’S ELEVEN AND NOT AN ADULT! ALSO HE'S MY SOUL-MATE, WHEN HE'S GROWS UP.

Pikachu
Pikachu Pika (Not even I knew that.)

Arcues
AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO MESS WITH A SOUL-BOND!

Lucius
Fine. Even I know that’s illegal, and it can get you killed.

Umbridge
(Looking mad that she failed at getting Harry)

After that, Harry/Ash was taken of the list.


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

This letter was requested by Elfin69 who wanted to see a confrontation with Arceus and the Ministry of Magic.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can’t because both Harry Potter and Villainous belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can’t remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don’t take them without asking first.

Word Count: 161

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #247
Submitted By: bleach103
===============================

Dear Magic of Inferior Beings,

I am not going to participate in the stupid marriage proposal so don't even try, and if you don't stop, I will have Dr Flug make a device to burn your ministry to the ground!

From,

Black Hat


Author’s Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by bleach103. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol