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Loving Her.

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A cool summers night breeze blew gently across the park. The moon was lighting up the sky, Debbie looked up at it, so terrifying but mesmerising. "So small." Debbie mumbled to herself. No one was in the park, she sat alone on the swing set. It closed at 6pm and here she is at 2am crying, alone. She looked around the park, it was so silent, it was almost deafening. Her eyes darted to the trees above her, she threw her head back watching the wild branches slowly glide through the air. She was so full of regrets, a bottle of feelings that had just been smashed to pieces. She cried, painfully quiet. Trying not to scream and howl, she wept into her jacket. How did everything fall apart so fast. She felt her core crack completely, her heart break. She blinked and wiped her eyes furiously. It stung. Her heart ached, like someone just opened her chest and ripped it out, and stomped on it repeatedly. Her lungs jabbed at every inhale and exhale. Her throat dry and hoarse. She tasted blood, gargling her dry screams. Just a few hours ago everything was amazing, her heart was beating so freely, her life had just started to pick up, only for it to fall and crumble again. She got off the swing and fell to the hard floor, she punched it hard, waiting for her knuckles to be a new shade of red,not thinking about the physical pain. She finally let out a scream, almost blood curdling, she screamed until her voice gave out and she couldn't anymore.

3 days earlier...

Lou heard a knock at her door. "Just a sec." She got off the couch and looked in the mirror before opening it. Debbie lunged at her, pulling her close, hugging her tight. "Wow, someone's excited." Debbie pulled back, "Excuse me for wanting to see my best friend." She said walking over to the couch. She was sucking on a lollypop, she plopped down. Lou closed the door, hands on hips, "Come on what are you doing?" Debbie stared ahead, breathless from running up the stairs, her chest moved up and down. She made a funny face at her. Making her scoff a short laugh.

 

She looked at Lou and smiled, jumping up and running past her. "Race ya!" She said pulling open the door and pulling at Lous hand. Lou slammed the door and ran after the brunette.

They got to the bottom , out of breath and panting. "I win." Lou exclaims as she leans on her knees. Debbie climbs onto her back. "Take me." She points to the door. Lou smiles and takes her legs. They go outside and the sun immediately hits them, stinging a little. Lou winces at the brightness. Debbie gets off and takes her hand toward the bike. "Here ya go, love." Lou tosses her a helmet. Debbie nearly melted when Lou would use pet names. She would only use them with her too, made her feel special.

 

The two were headed to a concert in Cali. Red Hot Chili Peppers.They had a long way to go but on a bike they should get there faster. Along the way they stopped, to eat and sleep of course. Booking a hotel room, but not with two separate beds. "Double, please." Lou said confidently as she handed the receptionist money and then turning to Debbie with a smirk and wink.

They didn't sleep until 3am every night. Staying up laughing and chatting about life. The topic of love came up. "At this point, love sounds like a giant lie to me." Debbie scoffed and sipped her beer. They were sat on a balcony overlooking the simple hotel complex. Lou sat up and looked deep in thought.

 

"No, you just haven't found your soulmate, someone who you can feel at home with. Someone who accepts you for who you are, doesn't try to change you, who loves every inch of you. Who makes you physically hurt from laughing. A person who makes you feel special." Lou sipped her beer. She shrugged. "I have a few opinions on what love is, I could write a novel."

Debbie listened intently, watching how Lous expression changed with each new idea, branching into another one. "A person who makes you feel special." Debbie thought back to when Lou calls her pet names, it makes her feel special. In fact now thinking about it, Lou ticked all the boxes in what she just described.

"Tell me more." Debbie criss crossed her legs and leaned on her hand. Lou glanced up at her, not moving her body. "Hm about what exactly?" Lou said leaning on the table and staring at Debbie. "Anything that comes to mind." Lou looked down at her hands, playing with her rings, she looked up again, a glint in her eye. "I feel like when you look into someone's eyes, like really look deep Into them, you're connected, your souls are connected. It's so raw and full of emotion. Sometimes people can have full conversations just through glances. Your eyes are beautiful Debbie, big and brown, full of life. As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. I believe that. Our spirits are always kindled , a dancing flame, a burning desire. You know?" Debbie was absolutely captivated by Lous eyes, her words and just her. She didn't need to speak, Lou knew she was speechless. She smiled, leaning back and sipping her beer. Debbie followed her movement. Watching her gulp down the rest of it. "Want another?" She said rising from her seat. Debbie looked up into her eyes, trying to say yes with them. Lou stood back smiling widely. "Did you just-." Debbie looked away giggling.

 

"Tell you I wanted another beer with our eyes? Yes." Debbie bit her lip and then looked back. Lous arms were crossed and she smiled walking into the kitchen.

Debbie sat back in her chair playing with her fingers, Lou emerged from the kitchen and took her seat again. "And how do you know when you're falling in love?" Lou looked at her, Debbie adverted her gaze. "Well, you feel safe with them, happy, they make you a better person, the first person you think of in the morning when you wake up and at night about to fall asleep. You will know you're falling in love. You'll feel it with every inch of your soul. It's indescribable." Debbie finally looked at her, they held their gaze. After a few moments of silence, Debbie felt an overwhelming urge to unload. When she looked at Lou, she felt at home, safe, the most beautiful person on the planet, calm and in love. " I feel like crying." Debbie said giggling but maintaining the eye contact. Lous eyes softened and she got up walking behind Debbie and hugging her. "Cry." She whispered softly and kissed the top of her head. Before Debbie could control it she was bawling into Lous arms, eventually falling asleep. Lou sat there all night, holding her, rubbing her back and massaging her scalp. When Debbie drifted off, she stared at her, how beautiful she was. Lou thought about the question she asked earlier and began to ponder.

The alarm on her phone went off, Debbie sat up and panicked trying to get the dreadful beeping off. She found it eventually in her pocket. She sat up and looked around. Lou was right next to her. For a short second, she'd thought she had slept in the other room, in the actual comfy bed not the hard couch. She had carried Debbie to the couch and slept alongside her. Her head was back and Debbie smiled at her. She leaned against the wall and just sat there, she never ever did that with someone, totally unleash in front of them. Lou woke up slowly, fluttering her eyes, seeing Debbie curled up in a ball, she lunged toward her. She wrapped her arms around Debbie, hearing her giggle. "Are you okay babe?" Debbie's heart skipped a beat. "Ya, thanks Lou." Debbie hugged her friend again. "I don't know where I'd be without you." A genuine tone behind her croaky voice. "Are you getting soft now?" Lou teased, holding Debbie's chin and tilting her head.
Debbie looked at her with an "Oh fuck off." face and Lou laughed.

After they had breakfast, they got their belongings together and left again. The concert was tomorrow and they were in Las Vegas now. They sped throughout Nevada , Debbie had never been here before, it was beautiful. Lou had been to most of the states now, strangely enough she never mentioned going home, to Australia. Debbie's head started to wander, her mind jumbled. She felt herself falling, clinging onto the back of her best friend as they rode through California to get to a concert. 'What if I'm drunk and I kiss her? What if she finds someone and leaves drunkenly?' All these questions raced through her head, she felt drowsy.

It was now 8pm, the night was setting as the sun went down, leaving a golden pinky tint on the horizon. Lou pulled into a gas station, she got off the bike slowly. "You okay?" Lou said, taking off her gloves and helmet, keeping a close eye on Debbie. "Tired." Debbie laughs and stands up, her legs are jelly by now and she falls but of course Lou catches her. "Woah!" She exclaims while holding her up. "Debs? You okay?" She caught her balance and put both hands on Lous shoulders, focusing on their feet. She took a deep breath before looking back at Lou. Her eyes were full of worry and sorrow. "Come on, lets get you some food aye?" Lou said taking Debbie's arm over her shoulder and resting her hand over her waist. "No no Lou it's fine it-." Before she could finish Lou was already at the till paying for a cool blue Gatorade and a subway sandwich. They took a seat in one of the more quiet areas, the place wasn't exactly booming but a lot of sketchy people started stumbling in. Lou kept a close eye on her bike but an even closer one on Debbie.

She devoured the food and chugged the drink, sitting back and gasping. "Thanks, Lou." She nodded smiling. "How many times have you thanked me this trip?" She said with a teasing grin. Her hands were on the table playing with her gloves. "Well you look after me.." Debbie said with a genuine tone of gratitude in her voice. In the moment she brought her hand to touch Lous on the table. She stared at them, Lou didn't move, instead she took Debbie's hand and kissed it. "Mwah." Debbie scrunched her nose and laughed softly. "Sloppy." She earned a wide smirk from her friend. They didn't let go still, Debbie didn't want to, Lous hands were soft, slightly bigger than hers. She ran her fingers over Lous rings. They both sat silently, Debbie focused on Lous hand while Lou focused on Debbie. In that moment, Lou realised something. She in fact was falling.

Lou had always loved Debbie, loved her more than a friend but when she'd come home from a date with a boy and dote over how cute he was, Lou knew she could never tell her. So she closed up, bottled up that feeling and throwing it into the ocean, only for it to wash up again on shore.

They were both pulled out of their trances when the ding of a bell came from someone walking in. Lou pulled her hand away and stood up, "Bathroom?" Debbie nodded, Lou held out her hand as she eyed the people in the store. Lou carried a pocket knife everywhere she went. Being a biker, is dangerous enough but being a woman, alone with no gang? That's even bigger again. She traced over the mold of it in her leather pants. She caught the eye of a man staring at them, more at Debbie. He eyed her up and down. Lou felt an uneasy, sharp pain in her stomach now. An overwhelming sense of dread. She squeezed Debbie's hand and stopped. "You know what, we'll find a better place." Debbie turned to her, analysing her friends face, she saw right through the mask, a raw fear which she'd never seen before. "Oh okay." Debbie said looking around, getting goosebumps as all eyes were on them. They walked outside, holding hands, they heard the door behind them open and one pair of footsteps. Lou turned around, pulling Debbie behind her. An elderly man walked out with a paper tucked underneath his arm, Lou sighed. "Fuck this place." She tossed Debbie her helmet and they both straddled. Revving the engine and leaving a trail of dust behind the wheel.

They arrived at a motel off the highway, Lou parked the bike and they both got off. She looked around seeing all the trucks parked , it was a stop and go. At the entrance was a poster, for one night and a double bed it would cost, €60. It seemed like a welcoming place but upon asking in hand in hand, it was the complete polar opposite.

 

People walked down the lobby and into the reception. A snarl spread across a mans face, staring at them. "They're not too keen on homos, Lou." Debbie looked around and said in a quiet giggle. Lou couldn't help but crack a smile. "We're a couple now huh?" She said with a small grin. "Well they sure think we are." Debbie said looking over her shoulder.

They both walked into the main reception and looked around, the place was pretty modern. A little old lady was sitting inside a glass box. Lou nodded at her, digging her hand into her pocket to retrieve her wallet. "How much for a double bed? 1 night." Lou stated. The woman turned and gave the two a bitter glare. Debbie stood back a bit. "$200." Lou sucked her teeth and stared at her. Adverting her gaze to the many truckers standing around staring at them. She looked back at Debbie who seemed nervous. "1 room, 2 beds." Lou asked sounding exasperated. The woman nodded and looked back at her computer. "$60." Lou slammed the money down and rolled her eyes. The woman handed her a key. Lou nodded at Debbie showing her the number. Lou put an arm around Debbie's shoulder, she smiled slyly at her. The woman stared at them as they walked upstairs giggling.

"Fucking cow." Lou scowled under her breath as she put the key in the door and pushed it open. To their surprise the room was modern looking. The bed sheets were clean and white. Lou shrugged and pushed the beds together. Debbie smiled at her and walked into the bathroom. Lou opened the balcony, looking down on her bike. "Shit forgot the beer. Debs will you be okay?" Lou came into the bathroom, Debbie was looking in the mirror. She sighed looking up, nodding. Lou leaned against the door frame, looking at Debbie.

 

 

"We don't need it." Lou said walking closer. She stood in front of her, Debbie looking down, she was dozing off. Lou put her hand down to gently caress Debbie's cheek. "Come on your tired." Lou said lifting Debbie with ease. She carried her bride style to the bed. "Lou.." Debbie said, still in her arms. "I-." Before she could finish she was falling in and out of consciousness. Lou smiled, grabbing a t-shirt from her bag. "Come lets get you changed." Debbie half asleep, sat up and lifted her arms up effortlessly. Lou shimmied off her top, Debbie slid her head into the t shirt, and pulled off her pants. Lou started to take off her layers, throwing them over a chair in the corner. Debbie reached under her top and unhooked her bra, pulling it off but she shrieked, it got stuck in her hair. In her tired state she started to rip at it aggressively. "Stop, stop." Lou laughed , hushing her and untangling her hair, she got the bra hook free and followed the strap down to Debbie's collar bone, she traced over it, pulling off the strap. Debbie groaned and fell back into the mattress, stretching out.

 

Lou itched her nose and walked into the bathroom. She turned on the shower and stepped in for a few minutes. Feeling the warm water trickle down her neck. She sighed as it started to turn a sharp cold, she got out and put on a black string top and black underwear . Walking out to the room, Debbie was sitting up, barely staying awake. Lou smiled, "You waiting for me?" She said giggling and walking toward the bed, pulling the sheets and finally laying her head on the pillow. Debbie hummed a response of some type and laid down, staring into each other's eyes. Lou cracked a smile and Debbie giggled mercilessly. "Turn around." Lou said holding her sheet up and scooting over. Debbie smiled and snuggled into Lous chest, her body curving into the shape of Lous. Debbie put her cold feet into Lous warm legs. "Bloody cold." Debbie felt Lous warm breath fam over her neck and her lips touch lightly off her nape. She smiled, "Cold feet." Lou wrapped her arm around Debbie and rested her head into the crook of her neck, she kissed it. Debbie got goosebumps. Her insides bubbled up, realising where she was in this exact moment, she smiled softly, sighing in delight. "You probably saved me today." Debbie mumbled nearly incomprehensible to Lou but she heard. "I'd do anything to keep you safe Debs." Lous voice vibrates throughout Debbie's. They both dozed off moments later.

The next day came around. The concert.

Debbie's phone chirped and she got up, sitting on the side of her bed she clicked off the button. She turned around and saw Lou sleeping soundly. She was laying her on back, head turned the other way with her right arm extended facing Debbie. She smiled and climbed back into the warmth of Lous body. She snuggled into her side and began to gently trace over her hip bone, eventually she woke up. Debbie watched as her eyes fluttered open, she stared at the ceiling before realising Debbie was there, wrapped in her arms. "Hey sweetheart." Lou hummed sweetly, her voice was extra husky in the morning as expected. Debbie loved it.

The lick of Lou Millers words.

"You ready Deb?" Lou said, playing with her key chain, sitting on the balcony. "Almost, ya." Debbie came out of the bathroom wearing ripped black jeans, a black bandeau and an oversized leather jacket with some designs sewn in at either sides. Her hair was curled and her magical beach waves bounced around her face.

 

Lou turned around and smirked smugly, winking as she met Debbie's gaze. "Wow, you look so hot and beautiful babe." Lou said coming closer to her, inhaling her scent, she smelled like a field of roses. She traced her fingers along Debbie's collar bone, the side of her neck and that's where Debbie flinched. Lou being that close to Debbie's neck made her breathing quicken, she disregarded it as nerves but she knew it was something deeper that she wasn't willing to dig up right now. It will come in time. 

Debbie looked at Lou who was always outstandingly dressed to perfection. Wearing a royal blue velvet suit jacket, black leather pants and a tank top cut loosely. A small tie around her neck that just topped off everything not to mention her jewellery style.

 

A gold locket hung low over her chest, Lou fiddled with the chain walking closer to Debbie and smiling. Debbie looked utterly speechless. Lou looked her up and down before stepping back, realising how close they were. "Lou, that is so hottt." Debbie replied a little out of breath. "Give me a spin come on." Debbie giggled while twirling her finger in a circular motion. Lou looked at Debbie, grabbing her finger and pulling her closer, she bit her lip. Debbie turned red immediately at the feeling of Lous hand on her bare skin. "Does someone have a crush?" Lou teased Debbie with a mocking tone but when Lou expected her friend to bite back with a smart ass comeback, she remained silent and blushed. Debbie looked down, feeling her face on fire under Lous intense scrutiny. Lou held out her hand and Debbie sure as hell grabbed it. They went outside and hopped on the bike without another word.

They arrived at the concert, the venue was packed with excited people. Lou parked her bike in a parking lot with security as she would be leaving it there. They got off the bike and Lou grabbed Debbie's hand, looking back at her brunette friend. As they ran toward the sound of people, Lou and Debbie giggling , feeling like time stopped. Lou couldn't help but admire Debbie's body, her perfect facial features, her legs in those ripped jeans, her beautiful brown hair bouncing everywhere. She stopped and bit her lip staring at Lou. The blonde smiled, remembering her gorgeous smile that could end wars. Lou pulled her close and put her arm around Debbie's low waist and tugged her close. Debbie grabbed Lous face and kissed her cheek. Lous heart jumped and she tried to remain calm and keep a straight face even though she wanted to kiss her back. "Ready?" Debbie nodded at Lou, a smile plastered on her face, the excitement buzzing off her entire body.

They walked into the park, grabbing a drink before heading in. Debbie bought Lou a beer, with a shot of vodka of course. Lou smirked at her, sliding off the table and smoothly wrapping her arm around Debbie, taking her drink and shot. Debbie felt her body heat up, especially her crotch, her heart was on fire, she thought it was gonna burst out of her chest. She downed her shot and winced at the strong vodka. They both took a seat.

"I'm feeling it now." Debbie said in a low, raspy voice, she stared at the floor, blinking furiously. Lou got off her stool and once again, placed her hand over Debbie's hip. She helped her friend up. "Don't you think it's funny how we're going to this alone?" Debbie said through drunken giggles and burps. Lou shrugged. "You're my favourite, always have been. Would rather be with you than anyone else,trust me." Debbie sobered up a little bit from that, seriously taking in Lous words as she thought Debbie might just let them fly over her tipsy head but no, it's different this time.

The concert had began with a blast. The sound of rock pouring though the arena. The atmosphere was electric. People dancing, screaming and jumping around until well into the night. Lou and Debbie were amidst a crowd of people ,singing and dancing. This went on for hours and they could only remember the actual concert through a drunken haze.

Near the end, everyone was leaving. Debbie was near the bar now, she couldn't find Lou. She remembered dancing against her, real close. Debbie whipped out her phone dialing Lous number when she felt two unfamiliar rough hands grab her waist and jolt her body backwards. A filthy stench burned in her nostrils, nearly making Debbie puke. She tried to pull away slapping at the big, hairy hands. They had a firm grip, lifting Debbie off her feet and dragging her off. He didn't get far with her kicking and screaming, she elbowed his stomach and kicked his nuts. He let go of her with a loud scream of agony. "Fuck you pig!" Debbie said backing away as she looked around frantically. She turned and started to run back towards the bar when she heard him scream again. Debbie turned around to see her. Kicking him continuously in the side. She stopped and stood over him before plunging her foot into his stomach, he wailed loudly. She unbuckled her belt and tied him to a pole. Wiping the sweat from her forehead, Lou looks up to see her.

Debbie ran down to Lou, heart racing and tears in her eyes. They met halfway and were both struck by the impact of their hug. The velocity pushing them back as Debbie ran down the slope and into Lous arms. She cried into her shoulder, tightly squeezing and holding her. Gravity holding them together like glue. Debbie wrapped her arms around Lous neck, looking at the man tied down, he passed out. Lou dipped her head into Debbie's neck. They parted slowly, Lou kissed Debbie's forehead, cupping her face and looking into her brown, loving eyes and seeing absolute terror. Lou searched her face for some sort of explanation, Debbie started to smile, shortly breaking into a cry she pulled her in again. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Lou took out her phone and called the police, leaving an anonymous tip, they walked off leaving the man strapped up.

They walked down the dark street, both now fully sober. The streetlights lit up the long strip. The moonlight shining through the gaps in each building. Lou walked closer to Debbie, she looked at her and watched in awe as the moonlight shined on her goddess features. Lou began to think hard. Debbie sniffed and looked up, no one was around. It was so quiet, Debbie found it strange but enjoyed the company of just Lou, walking by her side at 2am. They had been walking for 40 minutes in a comfortable silence.

"I had a good day overall." Debbie said, tougher. Lou looked at her with a side eye. "Me too." They walked closer. Lou twiddled with Debbie's fingers, eventually Intwining them. "Debs.." Lou said looking at their hands, they stopped walking. Debbie looked at Lou, waiting for her ocean eyes to look up. "What's wrong?" Debbie said rubbing Lous hand. "I-I can't lose you. I can't. I wouldn't want to live if I ever lost you. I mean who am I without you? You're my best friend, maybe even more.." She paused, Lous eyes widened at her confession, Debbie blushed and hid her smile. "but coming so close to loosing you.." Lous eyes started to tear up, Debbie's heart was beating faster than ever before. Lou looked at Debbie. "I love you." She said softly, gazing into Debbie's eyes, Lou brought her hand to Debbie's cheek and stroked it with her thumb. "I can't lose you and I won't let it happen either." Lou looked down again at their hands, softly rubbing circles with her thumb. Debbie felt her heart truly spike, butterflies in her stomach. Debbie smiled, and cried, giggling and looking at Lou. "I love you too." Debbie said, her heart was in a tug and she couldn't calm her breathing. Lou smiled and pulled her close, rubbing her back until her respiration calmed. Debbie grasped at Lous jackets, pulling away from her face. Their bottom half, pushed closely against each other. Lou finally dug up the courage to run her hand up Debbie's back and then bringing both to her face. They both smiled, so close to each other. Lou let out a hot breath that fanned Debbie's lips, their smiles dropped gracefully. Debbie brought her hands to rest on Lous wrists. After moments of them staring into each other's eyes, connecting their souls, totally in sync. Lou leaned in finally after critical thinking and debating in her head.

The moment their lips touched, it felt so right to the two. So uniquely perfect. It felt like they'd just discovered what a real kiss feels like. They just discovered what love feels like.

 

Lou kissed Debbie, sweetly and softly. Their faces parted, leaning on both their foreheads. "So this is what falling in love feels like." Debbie said, quietly giggling. Lou smirked, "So that's why you asked. I figured." They both smiled and kissed again. "I felt so lost. I felt so vulnerable, Lou." Debbie said, a tough tone to her voice. "The first thing I thought of when I felt him dragging me toward god knows where was.. was you. How I would never be able to laugh with you, look at your beautiful face everyday, hug you, cuddle and that I wouldn't be able to say.." Debbie paused for a second before quickly returning to a smile. "I love you." Debbie felt Lou jump, her fingers skidded along Debbie's waist. Lou smiled, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding onto. She could finally breathe. Lou nodded smiling, "I love you too, Debs."

 

And In that moment, everything that needed to click into place, finally happened. Neither of them at the cliffs edge, dangling anymore. This was their moment.

 

The sky was filled with bright and sparkling stars, the moon was bright and shining throughout the city. Lou an Debbie were walking down the street, holding hands and smiling. "You ever think of how old those stars are. They hold themselves together with their own gravity. Big burning balls of gas." Lou said looking up, Debbie smiled at her. "What?" She responded defensively, a cheeky grin spread across her face. "This is why I love you." Debbie said, grabbing Lous chin and planting a kiss on her soft lips. They walked down the street some more, realising what they were missing the whole time was this, each other.
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Lou pulled Debbie's hand outside. Intwining their fingers and looking over her shoulder at the smiley brunette. Lou gently pushed Debbie against the red brick wall outside. Holding her waist tightly. Debbie hooked her arms around Lous neck. They kissed deeply. Licking each other. Lous tongue was fast and sharp, quickly winning dominance over Debbie. She jumped up, Lou held her thighs, squeezing them. Debbie turned positions and pushed Lou against the wall. Lou traced her fingers up along Debbie's thigh.

 

 

Then the rain started.

 

They smiled and looked up. Lou admired her lover. The way her neck moved when she laughed. Her sweet smile that lit up her life. Debbie broke away from her grip, pulling her pinky toward the road. They danced in the rain, becoming absolutely soaked. Their hair was dripping. Lou caught her gaze, smiling and laughing. Their smiles dropped gracefully as Debbie bit her lip and Lou pulled her in, dipping her back and leaning. Debbie extended her leg, laughing loudly. Lou held her lower back and pulled her back up straight. She cupped her face and kissed her, it was wet, sloppy but they smiled against it.

Living in the moment, they stood. Under the pouring rain, hearing the music bounce around in their ears. Smiling and laughing, holding each other. Hearts racing, lungs out of breath. Living off each other's energy. Their souls connected, kindled. Love. This was love. This is love. It was flexible. This love was like no other. This love thrived throughout the 25 years they'd known each other. It never died, it would never wither. This love was like a glowing warm light, always lit. Although dim sometimes, it was always there. Never fading. It shined like the fateful stars in the sky. The stars that have been seen by people who are long gone. Through in and out, Lou and Debbie had a love so rare. It was like no other love. They knew each other down to the bone. Understood everything about each other. They were always meant to be. Ripped apart for five years but the love that thrived deep in their core kept them alive. Their love was like music, sweet humming music.

Love is where you can call home. Where it makes you feel happy and sad. Effortlessly in love you never wanna let go. You never wanna lose them. Because losing them would break you, deeming you broken beyond repair.

 

The end of the night came and everyone started to leave the bars and head home. Lou hailed a cab, they were both pretty drunk now. Lou ,being the mature drunk, she helped Debbie get into their hotel room. Lou was getting ready to sleep until Debbie put her hands around Lous waist and pushed against her back. Lou dropped the clothes she was holding and turned instantly, meeting Debbie's dry lips. She pushed her against the wall, tracing over her inner thigh slowly.

 

Debbie gasped at her touch. Lou tugged at Debbie's pants and she let them fall gracefully. Throwing off her jacket, Debbie slipped her hand under Lous top, making her flinch at the coldness. Debbie bit her lip as Lou unbuttoned her shirt. She placed a hand over Lous crotch , making her moan softly. The blonde took control and before Debbie could make another move she was already on the bed underneath covers. Lou stripped down to nothing and dove under the sheets, she winked at Debbie. Lou stroked Debbie's legs all the way up, watching the way her stomach clenches. Lou kissed along her bikini line while rubbing slowly around her sex...

 

Debbie let out a sigh. "Wow. That was-." Lou slowly made her way up Debbie's body leaving small kisses and a couple of hickeys. She popped her head out and kissed Debbie's breast. She brought her head up to meet Debbie's gasping lips. "How was that for you?" Lou said, quite pleased with her work. "Amazing." Debbie said as Lou watched her chest rise and fall, she sat next to Debbie, running her fingers along her collar bone. Lou bit her lip and kissed Debbie again. They swivelled and flicked their tongues for awhile more, enjoying the moment.

 

Debbie turned to Lou, staring at her. Lou ran her fingers through Debbie's hair, she sank into the pillow and her eyes fluttered. "It was always you, Debs." Lou said softly. Debbie looked up at Lou. "You are the only person who truly loved me in my life, rough childhood, not many friends but you, you stayed all this time." Debbie stroked Lous chin. "Lou, you could've picked up and left when I was sent away and yet you stayed. You stayed when you could've left, found someone or something else and moved on with life. 5 long years and your still here at the end. Through every chapter in my life , you've been there. When Danny died, I didn't know how to cope, not healthily anyway. You showed me how to pick myself back up, to learn to grieve, to finally say goodbye to him. You stayed." They kissed sweetly. "You are the light that keeps me alive. You are the reason I want to stay alive for as long as humanly possible." They both started to giggle quietly. "Our love is endless. Even when we die. It will still live on. In another soul. In another life. It will thrive." Lou said, kissing Debbie's hand and going back to playing with her hair. Debbie sighed, "Wow Shakespeare." Debbie said, genuinely happy. Lou smiled against Debbie's head. She drifted off into a doze, in the comforting warmth of Lous arms wrapped tightly around her. She felt safe, she felt home.

Debbie woke up the next morning to an empty bed. She felt around the sheets with her hand and sighed loudly, rubbing her eyes and getting up. It was 10am. "Lou? Baby?" Debbie walked into the bathroom, half asleep. She splashed her face with water and walked back out, realising she missed a note on her bedside table.

 

Debs,
I've gone to get my bike, I'll be back soon. Love you x

Debbie squinted at the note and gazing up at the clock. It was 10. She sat down at the side of the bed, grabbing her phone. She had 18 missed calls from a number she'd never seen before. Panicking, she called it as soon as she saw.

"Hello? You called my phone 18 times?"
Debbie started to bite her nails.
"Are you in any way related to Lou Miller? This is the community hospital."
Debbie's heart dropped.
"Yes, I am her girlfriend. What's happened? Is she okay?" Debbie stood up now rubbing her fingers through her hair furiously.
"She had a very bad accident on her bike this morning, the other driver was drunk. She's in surgery right now but I need you down here. Can you do that?" Debbie's lip started to quiver and her eyes flooded instantly. Her face crinkled into a sob. "Yes.. I'm coming." She said with a hard swallow. Debbie hung up the phone and ran to the bathroom. She vomited violently. She pulled herself up and balanced herself on the sink, looking into the mirror. She snapped out of her trance like state and picked up her coat and money she ran outside and grabbed the first cab.

Debbie was there in 5 minutes, she ran in, her heart beating loudly in her ears. "Lou miller?" Debbie panted at the nurse. "Ma'am are you okay? You don't look so good." Debbie looked at the woman, about to claw her eyes out. "I'm here to see my girlfriend Lou miller." Debbie slammed her hands down onto the desk. "Yes right away." The nurse rose from her seat and ran down the hall, Debbie following. "Stay here." Debbie tried to look past the sliding door to where the love of her life laid, bleeding out. Debbie kicked a bin and sat down on a seat, her leg jumping uncontrollably.

Moments later, the nurse came barging back out with a doctor. He looked at Debbie with a dull expression. "Ms. Ocean?" Debbie looked up, she rose from her chair. "Yes, yes that's me?" The doctor looked back into the room before looking at her. "It's not looking so good. She's not responding to our meds." Debbie kicked a chair again, knocking it this time. "What happened?" Debbie stared at him angrily. The doctor cringed. "She was blown into the air, 180mph and landed on metal fencing, going straight through her lower abdomen and one dangerously close to her heart, a punctured lung and many damaged organs. She's in a lot of pain because the meds are not working. We're getting a shipment and it's on it's way as we speak." The docter smiled at her weakly. "Can I speak to her?" Debbie said tearing up and holding her face. "She might be able to hear you but can't talk to you." Debbie barged through the doors.

 

She looked at Lou, strapped to 10 machines and so much blood, everywhere. Debbie started to scream into her hands, muffling it she nearly choked. She grew quieter after a couple seconds. She hit her back against the door and slid down it. Crying so hard into her sleeve. After a few seconds she got up and rushed over, her legs nearly giving out.

"Lou baby? Please don't leave me! You can't leave me! I can't lose you please baby! I love you so much. I love you. I love you so fucking much Lou!" Debbie whimpered into Lous ear quietly, grabbing her hand and kissing it. "Please baby! I can't live without you. Please!" She felt the infamous tug in her chest, she couldn't speak anymore. Her tongue felt like a ball of mush, her eyes burned in the back of her head and she could barely keep them open. Debbie sobbed quietly into Lous hand, staring up at her and kneeling by her bed. "Lou, I just want you to know that you mean the world to me, I love you so much. I will- I will see you in another life if this one wasn't enough baby.. I-I promise you that. We will see each other again Lou. We'll get married and have kids!" Debbie started to giggle through her tears, chest pounding violently. She climbed into the big hospital bed, nestling her head into Lous neck and holding her hand tightly. She fell asleep against her lover.

Some time passed, the whole day to be exact and Debbie woke up. The annoying and constant noise of the many machines plugged into Lou, keeping her alive. Debbie looked around and she glanced at her watch. It was 11pm now. She looked up at Lou, still there, in a coma. Debbie got off the bed gently and just stared at Lou. "I love you, Lou." Debbie repeated in a whisper that escalated to a scream, ending in a breathless whimper with tears streaming down her face again. Her throat stung as she continued.

Suddenly amidst all the crying she felt a sensation in her numb body, a tiny squeeze. Lou squeezed her hand, once, twice and a third time. Debbie broke into smiles and soft laughter that hummed throughout her body. She kissed her hand again, glancing up at her heart monitor she saw the numbers begin to fall quickly. She would not dare slip her hand from Lous, so she screeched for the nurse. She came busting in with the doctor by her side. "The numbers are going down!" Debbie screamed at him as he fumbled with the monitor. The nurse placed her hands on Debbie's shoulders gently pulling her away. Debbie protested, screaming and shoving her elbow behind her with force. "What the fuck are you doing?" She screamed at the nurse.

Then time stopped. The dreaded, long, beep came and came. Once it started it's all Debbie heard. She knew it only meant one thing. Lou was dead. Her heart shattered into a trillion pieces, her soul sucked out leaving her with just a skeleton in meat. Her brain was completely wiped, her memories withered in her very skull. She felt the blood drain from her skin, sucked out. She felt her stomach violently clench and before she knew it, she had thrown up everywhere. Her eyes ran red, not being able to cry anymore. Her sad whimpering screams torched her lungs, her voice box had been so damaged it stopped making any noise at all. She felt a pain in her chest, like someone dropped a cement brick on it, crushing her ribs. Her heart fell deep into her chest, crumbled,shattered,smashed.
It was broken.

Even though her body had shut down from the sound, she still dragged herself toward the bed. Lous hand was hanging over the side, she grabbed it and kissed. Her tears scalding her face. Her legs would not work , simply jelly. She grabbed a hold of the bed side table and hoisted herself up into the bed with incredible strength she didn't know she even had. Lous mouth hung open. Debbie wrapped her arms around her, taking her head and pulling it so close she thought her jaw would break.

She laid there, her soulmate lying dead in her arms. And to think she had everything she ever wanted that same day, for it all to come crashing down. She felt everything fall apart that day. Lou was gone, she had no one. No one. Nobody.

They tried everything but couldn't bring the love of her life back.

Debbie laid next to Lou all night. Kissing her forehead and singing small songs to her. Holding her hand and crying. "I love you, Lou." Debbie said, as a loud howl escaped her mouth, realising it would be the last time she'd say it while she's in her arms. "You're dead." Debbie squealed into her sleeve. "You left me all alone Lou! How could you!" The voices flooded into Debbie's head, one blamed Lou and one blamed herself. "NO! It wasn't your fault it was mine, I was SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR YOU. I was supposed to love and protect you. We didn't even get married and start our lives yet." Debbie banged her fist against the wall, pummelling at it for a minute straight, she felt nothing. Her hand was covered in blood and it's probably broken.

The morgue was called and came to pick up Lou. They arrive with a body bag and Debbie whimpered and scratched at her face as they zipped her up. "FUCK ME." Debbie screamed repeatedly, running around the room and kicking everything. She was detained by security and brought outside the hospital. It was now 2am. The doctors tried to console her but she just flipped them off. She ran into the nearest liquor store and bought a bottle of Smirnoff and a six pack of beer, cigarettes too. She ran as far as she could, away from her demons that loomed over her, swallowing her in the darkness. She stopped as she stumbled across a park. She hopped the fence and ran to the swing set. She downed some vodka and a can, lighting up a cigarette, she sat there.

The love of her life gone, she was alone now. No body.

"No one." She muttered as she stared at the floor, on her 4th cigarette and 2nd can. The vodka was nearly gone and she was really feeling it now. Debbie looked up at the stars.

"You're one of them now, Lou." She smiled softly, but only resulting into a painfully quiet whimper again. She leant against the swing and rocked back and forth. She cried painfully, her heart aching so bad she wanted to rip it right out of her chest. She felt as if this was a bad dream, pinching her arm, burning the cigarette butt against her skin. She couldn't wake up. This was real. She felt as if Lou would come behind her, with her famous smirk in a velvet suit with leather pants and she'd place a soft kiss on her neck. She'd feel her blonde hair tickle her cheek and the firm gentle grasp of her hands around her waist again.

"You're here." Debbie nodded, eyes shut, tears wouldn't stop. Her face was swollen and pudgy. All of a sudden she felt a swoosh of warm air on her back side, trace all the way up her spine and puff through her hair. "Lou." Debbie smiled to herself. "You're here." She assured herself again.

Crying even harder.
So here she is.
Alone.

A cool summers night breeze blew gently across the park..