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Oh wow. You are having a really bad day.

Such a bad day, in fact, that you are starting to think it might be the worst day in your life. This is including all your future days because even Willow seems to have lost track of how bad of a day this is.

Your sister is going to kill both of you over some stupid argument about something you couldn’t even help and if this is another one of her tests you’re going to...

You’re going to...

Be really mad at her after you’re no longer about to die, that’s what you’ll do.

In the meantime, you were bothered by three of your friends, at least two of whom were kind of angry at you for things you either couldn’t help or didn’t even think about yet.

Fortunately, only one of them is left.

Unfortunately, it’s one of the angry ones.

ES: Has your mind finally regained enough composure to form coherent sentences again or do I have to wait another minute?
AD: im cool
AD: i’m so totally cool right now you wouldn’t even believe me if i told you.
AD: below zero and shit.

ES: Well, that doesn’t inspire much confidence.
ES: It’s better than random letters, though.

AD: help?
ES: Now that, I can do.
ES: I told Willow to leave you alone for a bit so she can get her own issues straightened out.
ES: She’s done everything she has to do anyway, so I can help you through the rest.
ES: So say hello to your new not-quite-server-player!

AD: not helping.
ES: Right.
ES: What’s going on?

AD: my sis has the card and she wont give it back until i get rid of the cruxtruder which i can’t and this is so fucking stupid.
ES: Apologise to her.
AD: what?
AD: this isn’t even my fault!

ES: So what?
ES: You’re going to die if you don’t and pride is a thing far too stupid to get killed over.
ES: Besides, you can get to gloat over being the bigger man later on.
ES: Trust me, it’s totally worth it.

AD: okay
ES: What, really?
ES: You mean that worked?

AD: im a really selfish person
AD: and i don’t have a real choice besides dying and that’s not a choice
AD: also, fuck you.

ES: Why?
AD: Because i needed to say that to someone and you’re the only one I’m talking to right now.
ES: Nice.
ES: Do me a favour, don’t look at the timer and just get the card and the cruxite and get out.
ES: You don’t need that thing for a while after anyway.

AD: got it.

You decide to listen to your friend’s advice, because it does make a certain amount of sense. You go to her room and knock on her door.
“Did you find a way to get rid of that thing?” she asks.
“Then fuck off.” Well, this is going great, so far.
“I’m sorry, alright? I don’t know what’s going on either, and I don’t think there even is a way to get rid of the Cruxtruder.” You sigh, thereby showing just how sorry you are. “But I really need that card and the cruxite right now, okay?”

It’s quiet for a little while, and then the door opens a little bit and both the card and the cruxite land outside of it. “Make sure that doesn’t happen again, please? Thank you.” The door slams shut.
“Yeah, yeah, sure.”
“I don’t know why I bother, really, you do this kind of stuff all the time.”
You grab both and notice that the kernelsprite has joined you by floating through the closed door. Whatever.

AD: Got it.
ES: You said that already.
AD: no, I mean, I got the stuff.
ES: Awesome, how’d it go?
AD: definately better than expected.
AD: What´s next?

ES: You need to decide what to prototype with.
ES: That’s actually the main reason I’m here.
ES: To make sure we don’t fuck ourselves over too bad.

AD: dont even worry about that.
AD: I have the perfect idea

ES: This is going to be awful, isn’t it?
ES: Please tell me it isn’t something completely ridiculous.

AD: blow-up doll
AD: i have one around here somewhere.

ES: No.
ES: Just, no.
ES: Hell no.
ES: Do I need to be more clear here?
ES: You are NOT prototyping with a fucking blow-up doll.

AD: why not?
AD: it would make all of our enemies really weak, probably.
AD: plus it’d be fucking hilarious.
AD: come on man, this isn’t the time to be a killjoy

ES: Fuck no.
ES: I am NOT fighting blow-up dolls!
ES: I don’t particularly give a shit how you can justify it, but I need to draw the damn line somewhere.
ES: And guess what, blow-up dolls are on the other side.
ES: Why the fuck do you even have one of those?

AD: Come on, really?
AD: this isnt about what i do or don’t have
AD: this is about how you’re suddenly being an asshole.

ES: Excuse me for having some sort of decency!
ES: Just, ugh.
ES: I’ve seen these guys, you have not.
ES: And I very much despise my imagination right now.

AD: youre imagining your enemies as blow up dolls, aren’t you?
ES: Shut.
ES: The fuck.
ES: Up.
ES: I am so not having this conversation with you.

AD: tell me about the blow up dolls, peter.
ES: You know what?
ES: Fuck it.
ES: Fuck you, and fuck this whole business.
ES: Do whatever the fuck you want.
ES: But if I find out you prototyped with a blow-up doll, I will kill you.
ES: As soon as I’ve discovered interstellar travel.
ES: And dear God will I be motivated to do so.

AD: alright.
AD: i’ll come up with something better

ES: That is so not a reassuring statement.

-- annoyingDutchie [AD] ceased pestering eccentricStyle [ES] --

Okay, so, no blow-up doll. Damn. You were really looking forward to that.

What else do you have?

Your eyes are immediately drawn to your video game collection. There are some real gems in there, but you think it’s kind of difficult to predict what prototyping those will do.

And Peter would get really fucking mad, you guess, but he can kind of go suck it. He shot down one of your brilliant ideas, he doesn’t get a say in this one. You’re pretty sure that’s how veto works.

There’s one blatant copyright violation that’s just begging for your attention. And also happens to be very simple. Your Master Chief statuette.

Oh yes. This is an awesome idea. You’ll have the Chief by your side. There’s no way this can go wrong.

Well, yes there is, obviously, but there wouldn’t be a point if things couldn’t go wrong.

You take the Master Chief statuette and throw it at the Kernelsprite and are then blinded by a bright flash of light.

Right, you forgot that’s how this game tells you important stuff is happening. That’s kind of dumb. Both the fact that it does that and the fact that you forgot.

Nevertheless, there’s a familiar helmet floating in front of you, even if it’s more blue than you’re used to. You grin at it. It doesn’t do anything.

Time to get down to the real business. Take card, punch totem, yadayadayada.

Your Alchemiter creates a table with a small glass on it, which is then filled with a liquid from a bottle that promptly disappears again. You’ve really no idea what that stuff is, right now, and drinking clear blue substances has never really been your thing.

This isn’t exactly the time to complain, though. Bottom’s up!

There’s a bright flash and you disappear.

Your sister releases her breath in a sigh. You have no idea how close you were.