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Alright then, it’s time to play this game. First you have to open the Cruxtruder to get your cruxite dowel and kernelsprite. There is a convenient little wheel on the side, of course, but turning it doesn’t seem to do anything. Or, rather, it feels like the wheel is jammed. Peter didn’t seem to have much of a problem with it, so maybe Thijs somehow broke it? You doubt that’s what happened, though. He stayed as far away as possible from any of the things he dropped in your house after he did it. Well, time to ask him for help, anyway.

-- unorthodoxCreation [UC] began pestering annoyingDutchie [AD] at 12:59 --

UC: Thijs I need your help.
AD: that’s what I’m your server for, right
AD: What do you need?

UC: awesome.
UC: I can’t open my Cruxtruder.
UC: something is stuck.

AD: and now you need me to unstuck it with my reality bending powers?
UC: Pretty much.
AD: well, i’m going to drop your bed on it.
AD: See if that works

UC: stay away from my bed!
UC: You already brutally murdered one of my plushies today!
UC: I will not let you touch another!

AD: see thats a nice idea
AD: but you cant really stop me

UC: haha
UC: but seriously don’t touch my bed.

AD: alright fine
AD: looks like I need to try something else.
AD: I have an idea!

UC: congratulations!
UC: what is it?

AD: wait and see

Your kitchen table appears above the Cruxtruder and is then let go by the invisible force holding it. You can see the lid move and then there’s a really bright flash, but you wisely averted your eyes already.

AD: looks like it worked
AD: although we lost you kitchen table
AD: sorry about that

And there it is.

The green, pulsating, glowing orb that is your kernelsprite. It looks pretty harmless.

UC: Oh, yeah, by the way, what we prototype it with before we enter the game also decides our enemies.
UC: so choose wisely i guess

AD: is it okay if i prototype with raviolo?
UC: Ravioli.
AD: yes him.
UC: yeah
UC: that’s actually a really good idea!
UC: thanks thijs.

AD: no problem
AD: bright flash incoming


AD: Bam, you now have a dog-ghost thing.
UC: Sprite.
AD: Dog-ghost sprite thing
UC: Ravioli-sprite will be the best sprite ever.
UC: The best!
UC: There’s just no contest.

AD: I dont even know what i’m going to throw in it yet
AD: But i’ll find something better than raviolisprite
AD: that sounds like Italian food, anyway.
AD: and italian food sucks.

UC: Oh shut up.
UC: Also, Italian food is awesome.

AD: Well, then your taste also sucks
AD: so there.

UC: Damn.
UC: Looks like you’ve got me

AD: Damn right.
AD: hey what does your timer say

You take a look at your Cruxtruder and see the display tick down to 5:11.

Well, fuck.

UC: I have five minutes to save my life.
AD: isnt that a song
UC: That’s four minutes.
AD: you can wait
UC: :P
UC: Where did you put my stuff?

AD: lathe in the hallway
AD: miter in the kitchen

UC: And the card?
AD: what card
UC: Pre-punched card?
UC: The thing I really need?

AD: let me check
AD: oh
AD: right
AD: oops

UC: Oops what?
UC: Thijs, what did you do?

AD: i think its on your roof
AD: sorry

You’re already gone.

It’s almost impossible to get to your roof, the only option being your clothing line and even that’s a very complicated task.

You run past your mother, who is baking again, and yell “Hi mom. Bye mom,” before realising she’s actually baking. You’d think she’d prioritise.

Then you realise that really isn’t your priority either and by that time, you’re already outside. Suddenly, the inspiration to make a really meaningful quote strikes you.

“Speak softly, and carry a big stick.” - Mahatma Ghandi.

You are certain he said that.

Again, prioritise, damnit.

You take your scythe out of your strife deck, use it to swing on the clothing line and end up on your roof for the first time since, well, forever. The first thing you spot is, indeed, the Pre-punched Card. It looks like a green rose, which you’re sure is meant to signify something but, as you notice when you look up, there’s a meteor coming awfully close.

No time to contemplate anything, then.

You captchalogue and jump down from your roof, miraculously not breaking anything. Once you head back inside, you realise that your mom is missing, but that is not very important right now. She can thank you for saving her life later.

You reach your Totem Lathe and then find that you have to draw the Pre-punched Card on your Pictionary Modus before it pops back in your hand again and you can stick in the Lathe.

Next, you rush over to the Alchemiter, where your Cruxite Dowel is still waiting for you. You would remark on the appropriateness of the term ‘dowel’ in this case, but you notice the timer is down to two and a half minutes and you really don’t have time for this bullshit.

You clam the Dowel in the Lathe, press a button (it turns out it really doesn’t matter which button you press, they all do the same thing) and watch your Totem get carved very quickly.

You then run to the kitchen with the Totem, being very careful not to Captchalogue the damn thing, since you really don’t want to have to draw that exact shape. You place the Totem on the Alchemiter, the laser reads it and a green pot appears on the large circle of the Alchemiter. Out of this pot grows a beautiful green rose.

You snap the rose and the pot disappears, but the rose doesn’t, and neither does anything else.

Damnit, what are you supposed to do?

You do the only thing anyone ever does with flowers and begin peeling off the petals one by one. One by one, but still really damn fast, because you can’t help but notice that meteor is coming awfully close.

You’re also fairly convinced roses aren’t supposed to have this many petals and it’s almost as if they keep growing back. Well, that’s just about enough of that. You put your hand at the stem right below the hip of the rose and take the entire flower off in one go.

There is a flash.

And then you’re gone.