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Was Any Of It Real?

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The day Finn turned over the information Sam and Blaine found on the Warblers using steroids Blaine drove to Dalton, walked into the Warblers Commons and sat on one of the sofas without saying a word. Warblers yelled, Warblers cried, Warblers yelled some more but Blaine never flinched. Two hours later he stood up and left. He repeated this every day for a week before someone finally asked why.

“He’s showing you idiots he’s here for you when you’re ready to talk” Sebastian answered from the back of the room. No one noticed but he had sat back there every day since the first when he realized what Blaine was doing. “Not yell, scream and throw accusations…talk. It’s not Blaine’s fault we cheated and can’t go to Regionals. Although, I don’t understand how the New Directions replaced us when they were disqualified, but that’s beside the point.”

“Can’t help you, I don’t understand either.” Blaine smiled as Sebastian came and sat next to him. They waited for the other Warblers to say something, anything, but they didn’t. To be fair, it was impossible to tell whether they were still upset, overwhelmed by Blaine’s gesture of friendship or stunned by the fact Blaine Anderson and Sebastian Smythe were sitting on one of the sofas smiling at each other.


“Killer, I thought you’d never ask.”

To prevent the prying eyes which occurred the last time the two of them had coffee at Dalton, they headed off-campus to a diner Blaine had missed since his transfer. They not only had coffee but dinner as well since they wound up talking for 5 hours. Nothing was off the table…No Thanks, Hunter and steroids, Slushie-gate, even Dave Karofsky. The discussions were brutally honest and yet somehow, they managed to stay away from Blaine’s strained relationship with Kurt until “What’s going on with you and the blond since you realized you were too good for Hummel?” Sebastian could have slapped himself once the words were out of his mouth. Not only had he brought up Kurt but his tone had given away his jealousy of Sam. He never saw what drew Blaine to Kurt but Sam was an entirely different story.

Despite Sebastian's minor internal panic attack, Blaine was unfazed. “Kurt and I didn’t break-up, I think. I don’t know, it’s complicated. I went to New York to talk about how alone I felt but we wound up having a huge fight. He called at Thanksgiving and said he would come home for Christmas then at the last minute cancelled. He got into NYADA and wanted to stay in New York to save money. Burt flew me out to surprise him but it was awkward. So, like I said, complicated. And Sam? I can’t believe I’m telling you this but I might have a small crush on him. I mean, you’ve seen him. Oh, one day you have got to see his abs. I mean DAMN!" Blaine couldn't help but laugh at Sebastian stunned expression. "Ok, maybe that last part was a little too honest (then switching to an overdramatic thespian voice) but alas, Blam's destiny is purely platonic. My crush will forever remain unrequited since Sam is 100% Team Vagina.”

This was not the Blaine Sebastian had known (somewhat) and loved (more than somewhat) “Fuck Killer, I thought the bashful school-boy was hot. This Blaine is so much hotter.”

Their conversation went so well Blaine went back to Dalton on Friday for a movie/let’s all be friends again night, and brought Sam with him. He wanted to offer to teach Broga to those Warblers having problems with steroid withdrawal. He also wanted to see for himself what was going on between Blaine and Sebastian. Something was different with his best friend but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

It took some time to explain but the Warblers finally understood the New Directions never wanted to hurt them, just stop the steroids/cheating. With the heavy stuff out of the way, the rest of the night was all about reconnecting. Sebastian even got to see Sam’s abs when some of the guys took him up on his Broga lesson offer. However, the best part of Sebastian’s evening was when the guys who were there somehow convinced Blaine to sing When I Get You Alone to mark the two year anniversary of the infamous Gap Attack. While Sam’s abs may have been lickable, Blaine singing about keeping the toys in the drawer…DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Turned out a night of hijinks righted a lot of perceived wrongs. Blaine stopped coming every day but he and Sebastian fell into a routine of Skyping every night at 8PM. When the rest of the Warblers teased him about his quote/unquote nightly date, Sebastian would deny and deflect. Maybe they were quasi dating he would tell himself. It couldn’t be dating-dating because they didn’t go out together except for their now weekly dinner at the diner. Right? Of course, technically he had never been on a date-date so he found it all confusing.

What he couldn’t deny, or deflect, was his feelings for Mr. Sex on a Stick had come back…times 10.

After a week of Skypes, his heightened awareness of all things Blaine Anderson led Sebastian to conclude Blaine was hiding something from him. It bothered him so much he called Sam. Sam insisted Blaine was fine, they were just busy working on a way to raise money for the bus to Regionals. So, he let it go…kind of. When the feeling was still there few days later, he called Sam again. This time Blaine’s BFF’s response was to send a video of Blaine singing Don’t Stop Me Now while wearing tight leather pants. Sebastian didn’t know what it was supposed to prove but by the third time he watched it he didn’t care.

That was until Blaine texted to cancel their Skype time. Evidently, he had a cold and his friend Tina had come over with chicken soup and night-time cold medicine which would knock him out. Sebastian practically ran to change, determined to get to Blaine and take care of him himself. When he got to his room, he started undressing only to stop when he realized he had no idea where Blaine lived. He picked up his blazer to retrieve his phone and call Sam when he saw it…a perfectly wrapped gift with a big red bow and a note attached.

Sam said you called a couple of times to ask if there was something I wasn’t telling you. There is/was and I prayed you would never find out, but in the spirit of our commitment to honesty, this is for you. It will explain everything.
PS…January & December
PPS I case you didn’t notice, I’ve decided to start calling you Bas. You don’t look like a Seb.

The last line made Sebastian smile but it was nothing compared to his smile when he opened the box and held the Men of McKinley calendar in his hands. He flipped to January…yeah, Blaine was most likely asleep from the cold medicine and if not, his good friend Tina was taking care of him. Something had suddenly, up.

The following morning Sam called and asked if it was ok for him to stop by Dalton later that afternoon. Since he didn’t mention Blaine, Sebastian thought the request was strange but agreed to it anyway. That was his first mistake and how he found himself in the Warblers Commons sitting on a sofa across from the Blaine-less New Directions. Yes, all of them…Sam, that Tina chick, a guy he thinks is named Artie, Sam’s girlfriend/Satan’s ex, Puckerman Jr., Hudson 2.0, Berry 2.0, Sam’s ex (with a twist) 2.0, Mini Blonde Satan, the dude with the dreads and the girl with the mob dad who can’t sing. His second mistake had been to not ask Sam what he wanted to talk about.

“Have you lost you fucking mind?

“You have your weekly dinner date with Blaine later, right?” Sam asked, confusing Sebastian even more. He knew the answer was yes. “Just ask him then.”

“I am not going to ask Blaine to be my date to Schuester’s wedding…or ask him if I could be his date to Schuester’s wedding. Either way, not happening.”

“Fake date” that Tina girl, who he would now refer to as Blaine’s Hag, hissed out.

“Still not happening.”

“Stretch, we get it” the Mini Blonde Satan butted in. He thinks he likes her…maybe enough to learn her name. “But we need you to find your balls, man up and do this for Captain Hair Gel.”

Ok, not liking her so much anymore “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Sam, you better start talking.”

“No, I should” Brittany (where the hell did that come from) informed him. “I got a call from Santana wanting to know how Blaine was doing since Kurt was seeing some guy in New York. She has a secret soft spot for your boo. Well, I guess now not so secret.”

“Oh” Sebastian thought he was hiding his internal flailing, but the smiles on those he decided to call The Clones told him otherwise. Wait a minute… “Let’s get this straight, Blaine is not my boo. We are not dating-dating but we do talk and he hasn’t mentioned anything about Kurt seeing someone else.”

“He didn’t know.”

Any control he had over what could be considered his Old Sebastian tendencies was now gone. “Son of a bitch!” he yelled as he got up and began to pace. “So, what? You want me to tell him so he can hate me?” He knew Blaine’s friends being nice to him was too good to be true. “Hold up, did you say didn’t know? As in he does now? Is he ok?”

“That’s the thing…” Seriously, why was the Rachel Wanna-Be speaking? “Brittany and Sam told him and he shrugged…as in lifted his shoulders…and then said that he wasn’t surprised…and then he made a suggestion about our duet for Regionals…and then…”

“Marley, he’s got it” Puckerman Jr thankfully put an end to the ramble. “It’s just Blaine’s been depressed and whiny over Kurt for as long as we’ve known him and now Kurt moves on and no reaction what-so-ever?”

Hudson 2.0 seemed to agree “Yeah, we’ve always liked Blaine but we like this dude a lot better. We want to keep him around.”

Sebastian would be lying if he said he didn’t agree. Since apparently he wasn’t being called on to be the sacrificial lamb who dropped the Hummelbomb on Blaine, he calmed enough to sit back down. “What does this have to do with me?”

“Yo, Sebastian, listen man, I’ve got to admit I had reservations when you and Blaine became friends after the steroids.” Since it was (definitely) Artie talking, Sebastian wanted to listen. This guy was the only one who had been there for everything…including I Want You Back which lead to Slushie-gate. “But the Blaine we’ve had lately is almost back to the Pre-Klaine Blaine Warbler I first met and we all think that has a lot to do with you. Like Ryder said, we want to keep him around and are afraid him seeing Kurt at the wedding will take away all the progress he’s made. We can put up blocks between the two but we can’t stay by Blaine’s side without it looking suspicious. That’s why we need you. Just…as much as you hate Kurt, don’t do something to fuck up the wedding.”

“I wouldn’t do that. Let me talk to Blaine.”

At dinner, Sebastian noticed Blaine was talking a lot about things like his new Prius, how guys can be divas, how Vapo-rub was probably the greatest invention in the history of mankind…but nothing about Kurt. It was only when he mentioned he was supposed to sing at the reception on Saturday did Sebastian see an opening.

“What song?”

“I don’t know. That’s the problem.”

“Why? Because you won’t be singing with Hummel anymore?” Shit!

Blaine sat back in the booth and crossed his arms across himself “Let me guess, Sam told you about Santana’s call to Brittany.”

“Sam…Brittany, Artie, Your Hag, the girl I found out was named Kitty because I cared enough to learn her name, Teen Jesus, Tone-deaf Barbie and The Clones.”

That broke Blaine’s defenses “What?”

“Killer, they all came to Dalton this afternoon and asked if I would ask you to take me as your date, technically fake date, to Schuester’s wedding. Before you get all pissed-off, it wasn’t that they didn’t think you could handle seeing Hummel. They just thought you might want some back-up. Plus, you’ve got to admit the look on people’s faces if we walk in together would be priceless.”

“I don’t know.”

“Would it help if I said I promised Artie I wouldn’t do anything to fuck up the wedding? However, I refuse to be held responsible for any possible Hummel hysterics.”

Blaine didn’t answer his question at first. He just stared at him so intently it almost became uncomfortable. Finally… “Ok, but if we do this, we do it right.”

“What does that mean?”

“We go as a couple, complete with pet names and all the PDAs. Kissing, hand holding…no, your hand would be on my ass…”

Sebastian thought his brain would implode, and he couldn’t believe he was going to do this but “Uh, Killer? You heard me say fake date, right?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry” Blaine groaned and then dropped his head. In an instant he had turned back into the whiny & depressed Blaine the New Directions had described earlier. “I’m so tired of his shit, Bas. It's like he thinks I'm on the other end of a tether, waiting to come back to him if/when he decides to give it a pull.”


Blaine’s head snapped back up “Excuse me?”

“You said pet names so I suggested Shnookums. Or I could go with Pookey-bear, Snuggle-bunny, Baby…”

“Babe” Both of them smiled at Blaine’s suggestion. It felt right, maybe too right. “But I’m just going to call you Bas.”

“I can live with that. So, since it’s Valentine’s Day do I need to give you some big romantic gesture?”


“Wait…what? I was kidding.”

“I’m not. I don’t know what song to sing so you’re going to perform for me.” Blaine got out his phone and started to text “In honor of the anniversary of the Gap Attack, which you argued should be an official Warbler Holiday, make it cringeworthy.”

“You want me to get onstage and sing Candles with Hummel?”

“No, you promised Artie you wouldn’t fuck-up the wedding.”

Sebastian choked on his water from trying not to spit it out in laughter. He now understood why Sam, Artie and the others asked him to do this. The Blaine who made that crack was more than ready to be around his ex but he was the same guy who was whiny & depressed Blaine only a few moments earlier. For the first time since the New Directions had shown up at Dalton, Sebastian was all-in on this fake date plan. He owed Blaine this...and so much more. 

“Bas” Blaine got his attention by waving his phone. “I got you some help with your big romantic song for me.”




“She was upset when Britt told her I didn’t know about Kurt. I thought knowing you were going to be my fake date for the wedding would make her feel better.”

How could Blaine look so innocent and so devious at the same time? “Why do I think I should be afraid?”

“Because you should. You really, really should.”