Jacob had come in from running earlier in the afternoon and was snoring next to me on the couch. All he was wearing was his cut off jeans. The television was on with the volume low and Billy was over at Charlie's house, watching the game. I listened to Jake's breathing, rhythmic and slow, as he slept beside me.
Then he shifted and his heavy arm flopped over my shoulder and effectively pinned me next to him. I didn't want to wake him; he had been patrolling so often he barely got any sleep. He was hot and I was uncomfortable. I remembered my socks were still on my feet. That would help me cool down, I thought. So I moved ever so slowly and peeled my socks down one at a time, and tossed them gently under the coffee table. I shifted under his arm and got comfortable again, this time closer to him; half my back pressed against his bare chest and closed my eyes. Warm and cozy I started to drift off into a light sleep.
I felt breath on the back of my neck, and I shivered awake. I felt my muscles twinge between my legs. Something was off though, his breath was always cold; this breath was hot, very hot. Jacob. Maybe he's still asleep, I thought. Then I felt another breath, this one went from the hair at the back of my neck down to a shoulder. So much for being asleep. The muscles between my legs twitched again. It felt good, but I didn't want it to. I'm not supposed to think of Jacob like that.
I heard Jake take a sharp breath; he must have realized I was awake – and aroused. He shifted me just enough to put me in his lap, my back pressed firmly into his naked chest. Another hot breath on my shoulder, followed by a kiss; the place between my legs tightened again on its own. He sniffed the air again, and breathed from one shoulder, along the base of my neck to the other shoulder, then trailed back with hot kisses.
No, no, no, no. . . . My mind was saying but my voice cracked out an, "oh..." instead. Jacob answered it with a soft moan of his own, then nipped my earlobe and gently suckled it. The muscles in my lap tightened again and it brought my attention to the muscle underneath me, in his lap, which flexed against me. My god, he felt huge! I wasn't sure if I wanted to think about that part of Jacob, but he pulled my mind back to the present when he whispered huskily into my ear, "Can I kiss you… on the lips I mean?"
I shook my head no. I think it bothered him, that I wouldn't let him kiss me, but it didn't stop him from continuing his kisses on my shoulders, my neck, and the sensitive spots right behind my ears.
In a quick movement that reminded me all too painfully of him, Jake set me off his lap, turned me around, and brought me back to his lap – now facing him with my legs on either side of him, knees digging into the springs of the old sofa. Jacob trailed feather-light kisses from my forehead to my chin, skipping over my lips. Then he started a trail of harder, rougher kisses down my neck and shoulder. His hands had remained on my hips until now, but I felt them start to slide up my back over my shirt. He caressed my shoulders and back, giving me a massage and kisses at the same time. One hand came around and started caressing my breast, squeezing gently and kneading it through my shirt and bra. The other hand came back down to my waist and started sliding up my back again, this time under my shirt. Jake's calloused fingers glided gently up my back as he tried to unclasp my bra. He was having a little trouble but he didn't want to move his hand from my breast. He reluctantly brought his other hand to the clasp and tried to unsnap it with both hands.
"Ahem," someone coughed from behind us. We both froze; Jake glanced up and over my shoulder, his hands still on the back of my bra, with my shirt raised up. I pushed his hands away and he let them rest on my hips. I slowly turned to see Charlie standing next to Billy's wheelchair at the front door. The look on Charlie's face was a mix of embarrassment, disappointment, shock, and amusement. Billy just smirked at Jacob and me.
"I think it's time to go home now, Bella," Charlie said. That's when I realized I was still straddling Jacob's lap; my eyes widened and my cheeks blazed with my embarrassment. I got up, grabbing my socks and shoes and made my way past Charlie and Billy out the front door. I stopped just outside the door, to hear Charlie before he came out.
"I'm going to have a talk with her, and there are going to be rules, Billy," I heard Charlie through the door, "and I'd appreciate it if you set rules for Jacob too. I'll call you tomorrow after I talk to her. Night Billy," I heard my dad say. He sounds like a dad now. Rules, ugh.
"Night Charlie," I heard Billy, and I rushed to the cruiser, and slid into the front passenger seat, pretending as if I didn't hear Charlie through the door. The car ride home was silent and awkward. I figured that Charlie was trying to come up with his rules, and the anticipation was killing me.
"You're not going to like me for a while, Bella," Charlie started abruptly; startling me from the silence, "but you, and Jacob, need some rules." He paused here, as we started on our street. "One: no kissing. Two: there must be a chaperone, a responsible adult, in the same room or kept in sight at all times – Billy, Sam, Emily and myself all count as responsible adults." He paused and looked at me finally, after staring straight ahead. He shut the car off but kept the doors locked. He sighed and waited a few seconds, which felt like several minutes in the silence of the car. "You understand why I'm setting these rules, right Bella?" He looked worried and sad.
"Yeah, Dad," I said, unsure how this got to be me making him feel better, "I understand. And I'm not mad." He just nodded and unlocked the car doors. We both walked slowly and silently into the house. "Night Dad," I called as I headed straight for bed. I wanted to stay up and think about what had happened tonight – Dad's rules, with Jacob, all of it. However, it seemed my body had a different idea and I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
* . * . *
The next morning, I woke up early. I glanced out the blinds on my window, which stayed perpetually locked now, and spotted Charlie's cruiser still in the driveway. I should have known he was here without needing to look; it was Sunday after all. I opened my door slowly and quietly made my way to the top of the stairs. I was headed to the bathroom when I heard Dad on the phone.
"Yeah, Billy. Thanks for setting some rules for Jake too." After I heard the phone click, I went on into the bathroom to take a quick shower. That was my confirmation that Jake now had rules as well. I wanted to go see Jacob, to ask him what he thought we were doing, but I knew he'd probably be out patrolling. He always took the early morning shift, so he could see me in the afternoon. I missed being around him, but the pack had to pick up the patrolling since Victoria was back. It scared me to no end to realize she was back for me because he killed her mate. Did she not know that he had left; that I wasn't … I closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about it now. Now I should be thinking about what Jacob and I had done to get this new set of rules.
After my shower, I walked down the stairs as Charlie was on his way up. We nodded our greetings but didn't speak. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal. Now, time to think.
I didn't like Jacob that way. No. Then why'd I let him touch me? Did I like that he touched me? Yes, I think I did. I like the way his hands and lips made me feel. My body liked it, that's for sure. I hadn't felt that aroused in a while. As long as I didn't think about it, I enjoyed what he did. The hole in my chest ached a little but felt smaller lately. I think Jacob was helping with that. My sun, everything warm and good, calming, caring, supportive. He was the best friend anyone could ask for. And I realized that he wanted to be more than a friend, but I couldn't; I'm broken, I'm more of a person than the shell I had been a few months ago, but I still wasn't whole and functioning properly, especially emotionally. Why would he want to be more than a friend? Did he see me differently than I saw myself? Probably, yes, but I still didn't feel well. Maybe if I just stopped thinking about all of this, and learned to feel again, things would work themselves out.
I had finished my bowl of cereal by then and washed it in the sink. My body knew the routine and I just followed along. I didn't want to spend time alone right now, all I would do is think, and I didn't want to think anymore.
"Dad, can I go to Emily's?" I called up to him and hoped he'd say yes.
"Yeah, but if you meet up with Jacob, remember the rules – no kissing and stay in sight of an adult," he called back. "I'm just going to watch the game, anyway."
"Thanks, and I'll see you later tonight!"
I grabbed my keys and headed out for my noisy truck. Maybe Jacob would get back early and we could hang out again. Though we'd have to be careful to follow the rules our dads had set for us. I wonder how hard it'd be to get Sam or Emily to come to First Beach, just to keep an eye on us.