Sometimes there are moments when time just seems to stand still for Josh. Like now when he was sitting wide awake at 3:17am staring out his bedroom window at the rain washed street below. Everything seemed more quiet, more real, in the middle of the night. He was able to admit things to himself he'd never be able to speak in the bright hours of the day. It was just a good time to think, really.
Josh was about to start at college tomorrow but he was scared and dreading it. Sure, he was able to score a joint dorm room with his best friend, Brendon, but he hasn't stepped foot back in Columbus since his freshman year. That was when his world fell apart. After all, there was a reason he left so he's not entirely sure why he even let Brendon talk him into coming back anyway. This place was only filled with nightmares for him. Any remnants of happy memories were tarnished a long time ago. He sighed deeply and shook the thoughts from his head.
What are the chances anyone from his high school would even go to the same college anyway? Most kids move around everywhere after graduation for freedom. He would be fine. Nobody would remember the blue haired outcast even if they did happen to stick around. Besides, he had Brendon now. He just had to keep reminding himself of that. Brendon would never abandon him, they had a silent pact of sticking together forever. Their version of til death do they part.
He glanced over at the clock. 3:48am. He would have to be up in roughly three hours so Brendon and himself could get a head start at moving but the urge to sleep was long gone. Nights like these he just wanted to disappear. The overwhelming sensations of being back in his hometown was just too much. Eventually he made his way back to his bed, pulling the covers over his head, and prayed for sleep to come.
"Dude, was it really necessary to be up this early? I mean, you don't even look like you've slept." Brendon was always the best to point out the obvious. He had been there for all of two hours before he was complaining about 'being awake before the sun.'
"It's cause I haven't Brendon." Josh tossed his keys to the other boy and walked to the passenger side of the car. "Which is exactly why you're driving. I need my beauty sleep."
"Sweeeeet! First things first, though. Foooood." He patted his stomach. "WE need energy for this day of actually using our bodies for strength instead of our ravishing good looks." Brendon proceeded to place one hand on his hip while using his other free hand to fake a hair flip.
Josh laughed and rolled his eyes. "Taco Bell?"
"Taco Bell." Brendon nodded in agreement with a chesire smile. "Maybe Taco Bell will be our always."
"Cool it, John Green." He felt a smile creep across his face. Yeah, this would be okay.
After they inhaled their nachos and Baja Blast, they decided to hit the road again with as few stops as possible. The campus was around an hour drive from Josh's house and they had a lot of work to get done. Especially with classes starting in a few days. Brendon put on his favorite Queen cd and Josh got lost in his thoughts again as he tried to get some rest.
Josh met Brendon right after he moved from Columbus. They had a few classes together at his new high school but one particular day they both happened to be wearing the same Green Day shirt and their friendship was official. There was no turning back. To be perfectly honest, Josh had never believed in divine intervention but Josh knew if it wasn't for Brendon he wouldn't even have made it this far so that's something. He was Josh's lifeline in a way and he would never be able to repay him for every sleepless night they had shared together. Brendon was there for him when he needed him most. Like a best friend was supposed to be.
Truthfully, most people thought they were an item. Mostly because Brendon was gay and proud so when Josh became attached to him at the hip, everyone was right to assume. It just wasn't like that. Josh remembered when he first came to Brendon asking all kinds of sexuality questions. Finally, Brendon just kissed him so hard that Josh knew that's what he wanted. So when Josh came out to his family, it was only fitting Brendon was there too. Always cheering Josh on from the sidelines no matter the consequences. Like in that particular case when Josh's dad punched Brendon right in the nose because he jumped in front of the fist coming straight for his best friend. Since then, they've hooked up on more than one occasion, mostly when they need distractions from their lives or just for fun really. Brendon said its cause they're just bonded that way. Josh never argued.
Josh was still lost in thought when they pulled into the campus parking lot. If it wasn't for Brendon hitting the biggest pot hole in existence he wouldn't have snapped out of it.
"Jesus Christ, Brendon did you hit a small child?"
"Oh, I'd like to see you do any better. The pot hole was the size of a meteor! Do they never fill these in? What do we pay tuition for?!" scoffed Brendon.
The parking lot was full of cars. They thought they were being smart coming a couple days early, but obviously everyone else had had the same idea as well. Luckily, finding their dorm building wasn't as hard as finding a parking space.
Six hours and two coffee runs later, they had finally, FINALLY, managed to get all of their belongings into one room aside from the last box of Josh's cds. Brendon had collapsed on his bed and told Josh he was in fact "not going up or down those stairs anymore today for any reason whatsoever" so Josh didn't even bother to ask for the company. He just shook his head and laughed at his friend. He didn't want to get a tired Brendon worked up. He's sassy on a full nights sleep, Josh didn't want to see him with lackthereof.
Since they had to park a decent bit away from their dorm entrance, Josh knew he'd be lost in his thoughts again. He didn't really mind the walk, not really, it gave him some nice solitude. Josh was good at being alone. He felt free. Once he made it to the car, he congratulated himself for being able to grab the box with his one arm and still close the car door without dropping it. It was the little victories that made him smile. He finally began to allow himself to feel happy. Genuinely happy, for the first time since arriving here and it felt good. It felt normal. He felt like this was exactly where he was meant to be.
Walking back to the dorm was finally starting to take a toll on him. Josh was fit, but even he wasn't used to this much exercise on no sleep. He would definitely be sore tomorrow. He could already feel the sting beckoning in his legs. He stood at the bottom of the stairs and released the breath he wasn't even aware he was holding, then began to ascend the stairs. "Alright, legs. Let's do this!"
He froze. His legs refused to move. He would recognize that voice anywhere. He could spot it in a crowded room of people screaming with just the way it made his blood run cold. His stomach slowly twisted into a knot and he barely brought himself to turn around to confirm what he already knew.
His mind had to be playing tricks on him. Maybe its because he hadn't slept and worked all day lifting heavy furniture. That was the only explanation as to why Tyler fucking Joseph would be speaking to him now. No, Josh knew he wouldn't be that lucky.
"Hey man!" Tyler reached out his hand to the blue haired boy. "Long time, no see!
Josh stared at the out stretched hand and wasn't sure he was going to take it but he finally just accepted the handshake. "Yeah-yeah. Its been a while."
"Its great to see you again! Are you staying in these dorms?" Tyler smiled. "I'm on the fourth floor. It was a killer to move in."
Josh gulped because of course Tyler Joseph would be living on the same floor of the same dorm as him. The universe had to hate him.
"Yeah. My friend Brendon and I are rooming together on the fourth floor too. We just now finished moving." Josh wanted this conversation over. "But, hey, I'm gonna go put this box up. I'm pretty beat. I'll catch you later, Tyler." Josh shuffled the box into his other arm to begin to go up the stairs again. He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a tinge of guilt the rest of the way to his room.
Josh slammed the dorm door as hard as he could. Life was cruel.
"Joshie, what took so long? You were gone forever." Brendon hadn't even been phased by the slam of the door because he was still laying in the same exact spot Josh left him in nearly an hour prior.
"Life is cruel. The universe has a fucking vendetta against me. I just don't want to think about it." Josh sat on his bed and ran his finger through the blue locks. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"
Josh gave a death glare toward Brendon. That was all the answer Brendon seemed to need. Moments like these Josh was thankful for that 'divine bond'. Brendon moved onto Josh's bed and put arms around him. Josh fell into Brendons touch, it was familiar and right now, that's all he wanted. He allowed himself to eventually fall into the other boys lap and lay his head down.
"Play with my hair. I'm sad." He brought Brendons hand to his blue locks and laid it there. "Please?"
"You never play with my hair when I'm sad." He retorted.
"Because I blow you when you're sad." Josh replied. He could be in the worst situation possible and he would still hold on to his sense of humor.
Brendon shuffled around a bit and began to run a few fingers around Josh's scalp and waited for Josh to fall asleep.
Josh woke up to the feeling of an earthquake, like his whole body was shaking. That definitely wasn't normal, but in all actuality, he just wanted sleep so earthquake be damned.
"Get up Joshie boy! We have plans!" Josh realized it wasn't an earthquake after all. Just his dipshit of a best friend.
"No, go away. Let me sleep." He pulled the covers over his head and tried to ignore the fact Brendon was literally bouncing on the bed, using it as a trampoline.
"Dude, you've been asleep forever. It's like.." Brendon checked his watch. "..three and we have a party to go to tonight." He pulled the cover down from Josh's head and Josh whined. "Get up. Get ready. It's our first college extravaganza!"
Josh realized he was in a losing battle and he didn't have much fight in him anyway. "Fine."
"Party starts at nine. Some kid invited me in the hallway cause its on our floor. Apparently, this whole dorm building knows." Brendon was grinning from ear to ear, running to the closet, and seriously, where the fuck did he get this kind of energy? "Okay, Josh. We gotta look good tonight. Not that we don't normally, but it's our first party and we have to make it count." Brendon rummaged through their clothes for almost an hour before he settled on their outfits.
Josh decided at around a quarter to seven he would get ready. He was hoping to find a way out of this stupid party, but he had no good reason and well, he was never good at telling Brendon no. So here he was, dressed in the tightest black pants Brendon could find him and praying to God for a miracle that he wouldn't have to deal with Tyler tonight.
"Now that's an ass I can get behind!" smirked Brendon as he stared at Josh through the reflection in the mirror.
"You wish. I'm always behind your ass, Beebo." Retaliated Josh.
Brendon winked, knowing better than to argue. "Of course, Joshie. You ready to party?"
Josh sighed, "As ready as I'll ever be."
The party was everything he expected. Loud music, alcohol, and he's pretty sure there were some kids doing drugs in one of the bathroom stalls. Brendon left Josh to 'make friends' pretty early on, so Josh did what he did best and tried to become invisible to the outside world. He was sitting on the balcony of the dorm building, watching the sun sinking into the hills when he heard that familiar voice again, making his stomach sink into the ground.
"Hey Josh! I'm glad you could make it! You enjoying yourself?" asked Tyler.
Josh turned around slowly. "Yeah, its uh, it's great. This is your party?"
"Yeah, kinda I guess. My roomie Patrick and I decided to throw it to kick off the year." He took a sip of whatever was in his red cup. Josh was super uncomfortable but Tyler didn't seem to notice. "Well, mostly Patrick and his boyfriend. I'm guilty by association. What are you doing out here alone anyway?"
"People aren't really my thing. I'm not good at making friends. Call me a loner, I guess." He really wished Tyler would just leave, but he didn't seem to be making any effort. Josh knew he was being a dick to the other boy but he wasn't ready to make friends. Especially not with Tyler.
"You had plenty of friends in school though! You were one of the most popular kids in school. Look, I know we aren't as close as we used to be but-"
Josh had enough.
"Who's fault is that, huh, Tyler? The key word is had friends. Not have. Why? Because of you." Josh saw the hurt in Tylers face but he stormed off anyway. Josh was done being the bottom of whatever sick fantasy Tyler was trying to tell himself to feel better.
Josh angrily fought through the people until he found Brendon. Thank God for the alcohol cause right now, Josh just wanted to forget. One look at Brendon was all it ever took and they knew exactly what was going to happen.
Josh grabbed Brendon's hand and they walked down the hallway to their room. Halfway there, Brendon really started to feel all those drinks so he leaned a little further into Josh. Just before they entered the room, Josh saw Tyler, standing at the end of the hallway looking defeated.
He threw open the door and pushed Brendon up against the wall, colliding their mouths in the process. Brendon wrapped his fingers in Josh's hair, causing Josh to let out a moan. He threw his head back breaking the kiss long enough to get his shirt off and start kissing down Brendon's neck.
Brendon giggled, actually giggled, because he was ticklish and Josh knew this but he didn't care. He managed to somehow rid Brendon of his shirt in the process of leading him over to the bed but he didn't care how. He started to kiss down his chest, down his abdomen, and he nibbled the skin right above his jeans. Brendon bucked his hips and all but growled.
"Fuck, Josh." Brendon was already getting painfully hard and it showed through his tight pants. "Touch me, please fucking touch me."
Josh didn't have to be told twice. He unbuckled the jeans and finally managed to free the other boys member. Josh gripped it in his hand, giving it a few strokes before licking the underside and hearing Brendon curse multiple profanities at once. Josh placed the member in his mouth and Brendon all but came apart right then. He had forgotten how turned on Brendon gets when alcohol is involved and Josh was loving every second of it.
"Josh-fuck. I'm gonna come. Holy fucking shit. Right there!" Brendon was moaning so loud and Josh took him down even farther just as the climax began and Josh continued sucking until Brendon had rode out his ecstacy.
Before Josh had a chance to realize what was happening, Brendon had removed all of Josh's clothing and had begun to return the favor. Josh loved seeing Brendon like that. Red, wet, puffy lips and his eyes so fucking glossy it was sinful. "Yes, Brendon, God.. don't.. don't stop."
"You wanna fuck me Joshie?" and yes he did. Josh flipped Brendon over on his stomach and grabbed a condom and some lube from the nightstand. Josh knew Brendon always prepped before going to a party in case he decided to pull and he had never been so thankful in his life. Josh poured the lube around his dick and slid into Brendon slowly.
The thrusts were hard and needy, his fingers digging into Brendons hips as they shared moans and heavy breathing. After a few good thrusts Josh was pouring hot liquid into the condom, staying inside Brendon for as long as he could.
Finally, he pulled out slowly and kissed Brendon on the shoulder blade. He tossed the condom into the waste basket beside the bed. They laid in silence for a few seconds before a knock was on their dorm door. They both went a little wide eyed, totally blissed out and looked at each other. Finally, Brendon took one for the team and threw on his boxers and went to the door. Josh was trying to throw some clothes on too and when he saw Tyler on the outside of the doorway, well, Josh felt ill.
"Can I help you with something?" Brendon was super confused as to who this boy was, but he knew he saw him with Josh earlier and was most likely the root of the problem.
"Um, I was just gonna see if Josh was here but I, uh.." Tyler couldn't even form a full sentence at the sight of Josh and Brendon.
"Yeah, well, we just finished a really nice fuck so he's not decent. Try later." Brendon slammed the door and came back to cuddle with Josh. "You don't have to say anything, but I know he's what's bothering you. Now come here and cuddle me before I regret it. We'll talk feelings when we're sober."