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We aren't Dating (Yet.)

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Nico’s accepting the fact he’s going to be staying in on a saturday night watching Supernatural when Leo bursts through the door, carrying an armful of junk food with a whole stack of shitty horror movies as if he owns the place. (Wrong, Nico owns the place.) Rest in peace calm saturday night.

“Giving you the key to my apartment was the most horrible-”

Leo dumps a can of chips on his lap like he's some kind of stripper- and holy shit, is that cheesey cheese flavored Pringles? He’d be the first one stripping on the pole for these chips.

“The most wonderful idea.” Nico says, popping off the lid and indulging on the heavenly cheesey goodness.

Leo grins.“That’s what I thought.” He pops in Jack Frost the movie while Nico’s distracted.

“This would be considered bribery.”

“You love every minute of it,” Leo replies, ripping open a bag of Takis. “Now hush and watch the movie.”

Nico hushes up, only because he’s too busy stuffing his face his pringles. Definitely not because he’s glad Leo’s keeping him company on a saturday night, no siree, he’s grinning a little because the Pringles are that delicious.

“Why’d you pick such a shitty movie?” Nico complains as an old lady is choked by Jack Frost with Christmas lights.

“Because it’s shitty.”

“Reminds me of your jokes.”

Leo jabs him in the gut for it. Nico’s only grinning because the Pringles are that delicious not because Leo sits closer to him, or what would be defined as snuggled into him.

The seven had a get together in Leo’s apartment, aside from Nico, no one could get a hold of him for some reason. As finals finally came to an end their free time began.

“Leo have you seen Nico?” Hazel asked, her brother hadn’t answered her calls which was unusual.

“Don’t worry,” Leo reassured. “He’s just getting some rest. The finals took a lot out of him.”

Hazel nodded, joining Frank on the couch. Everybody filled the couch up, leaving the cold floor to Leo, not that he was complaining, if he sat on the couch he’d be sandwiched between couples while they got their mack on.

They quietly watched Avengers, someone commenting once in awhile just to be shushed. The scene where the Hulk smashed Loki back and forth against the ground was interrupted by a cough. Everyone aside from Leo turned their attention to Nico who was standing in the doorway, hair messier, wearing one of Leo’s shirts and boxers.

Nico yawned.“Where the hell is my pillow?”

Frank pointed to where Leo was seated on the floor. Motherfucking Frank.

“Leo if you don’t get your ass in bed so I can get some sleep.”

“But Nico the movies almost over-” He whined.

“I’ll say your middle name.”

Leo gasped. “You wouldn’t.”

Nico sneered. “Wouldn’t I?”

He sighed, getting up. “You would.” Leo silently leaves the living room toward his bedroom with a smug Nico following closely behind.

“Dude,” Percy starts after a period of silence. “Leo is totally Nico’s bitch.”

Annabeth slaps him upside the head.

Nico laid his back against a tree, Piper did the same while Jason rested his head on her thighs. They decided to chill in front of the campus since it was such a nice day, birds chirping, and the sun shining. Nothing could go wrong-

“DI ANGELO!!!” A voice rang a few feet away, Leo marched toward them at alarming speed- if he ran like that in P.E. he would’ve got an A plus. Nico looks at his friends in confusion, what did he do this time?

“What’s wrong?” Nico asked.

“I told you I’d be out of town this weekend!” Leo practically screeched holding up a reptile Piper nor Jason have ever seen before.

“Oh shit,” Nico swore, sitting up. “I forgot Festus.”

“That’s right you bastard,” Leo retorted. “You forgot poor Festus.”

“Whose Festus?” Piper questioned.

“It was our lizard,” Leo glared at Nico. “But I may take full custody seeing how Nico isn’t ready to be a caretaker.”

“I’m sorry,” Nico apologized, petting the lizard. “Can you ever forgive me?”

Festus makes a squeaking noise before crawling up Nico’s arm and sitting on his shoulder, Nico grins at Leo triumphantly continuing to pet Festus.

“You’re lucky Festus is a sucker for pampering,” Leo mutters. “But I won’t be so easy on you.”

“I’ll make pepper and beef tacos tonight.”

“With chips and salsa?”

“With chips and salsa.”

“What were we arguing about again?”

Piper shared a look of disbelief with Jason because-holy shit- Percy’s right, Nico has got Leo whipped as fuck. She feels as if Leo is in danger, but Jason shakes his head, it’s too late their friend is too far gone to be saved from this boy and his special pepper and beef tacos seduction.

They’re sitting inside McDonald’s, drinking chocolate milkshakes when Leo sees Rachel come through the door and waves to catch her attention. After ordering she joins them.

“How’s it going Leo?” She asks, eating some fries.

“Same old same old.” Leo replies.

Nico shrugs, digging one of his hands under Leo’s shirt, Rachel’s eyebrows shoot up in alarm. However both are unaware of her surprise.

“Dude you’re hands are freezing!” Leo whines, squirming, but not moving away from Nico’s hand.

“And you’re warm.” Nico said, taking a sip from from his milkshake.

Leo pouts before trying to take some of Rachel fries which results in him almost losing his hand.

“Can I ask a question?” Rachel asked while Leo nursed his wound.


“When did you two start dating?”

Nico chokes and ends up shooting the milkshake through his nose. Leo’s laughing too hard to give a answer and Rachel is puzzled.

“Am I wrong?”

Nico coughs.“Yes!” He squeaks out, expression turning sour because Leo isn’t done laughing at him.

“Really,” Rachel says in disbelief. “You too act as if you’re happily married and domestic.”

“We don’t act like that,” He turned to Leo. “Right?”

“Dude,” Leo stares in growing realization. “We’re a little married.”

“I told you so!” Rachel exclaimed.

“Look at the time,” Nico stands up, throwing away his shake. “Time to get going don’t you think?”

“Alright sweetums.” Leo winks.

“Don’t ever call me that again.” Is the last thing Rachel hears as they exit the fast food joint

She giggles, shaking her head fondly. God, are they gay for eachother.

This girl has been pressing herself against Leo for at least ten minutes, she isn’t catching the hint he’s not interested- yes her boobs are quite nice (He’s not blind.) but doesn’t change the fact he doesn’t want to play seven minutes in heaven with her.

Fuck Percy for making him come here.

“Why don’t we go somewhere quiet?” She purrs, tugging him to the back of the club. Holy shit where’s an adult, Leo needs an adult. (Wait-fuck- he's an adult.)

He spots Nico and acts without thinking.

“I’m sorry,” Leo points at Nico. “But I have a boyfriend.”

Her eyebrows went up. “Bullshit,”

“I know I don’t look like it-”

“He’s way out of your league.” She quips in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” Leo narrowed his eyes.

“Prove it.”

He marches right over to Nico, yanks him by the wrist, and ignoring his protests Leo drags him back to the girl. He swings an arm over Nico’s shoulder, glaring at her.


Nico frowned.“Yeah?”

“You’re my boyfriend.” He stares at Nico, trying to convey the situation to him with telepathy.

“Leo,” Nico starts. “Your way out of her league- she didn’t hit on you.” Leo cries because he’s fucked thanks to his not fake boyfriend.

He stares at the lady, waiting for her to react.

She nods. “He’s your boyfriend.” And sashays away off in the distance to find some other weak soul to seduce.

Leo’s attention shifted away from her and he scowled at Nico before stomping off outside to their car, Nico rushing after him.

“Leo? Wait, I was joking!” He called.

Percy laughed at him.“Someone’s not getting the D tonight.”

Nico flipped Percy off as he hurried to catch up with Leo before the boy tried to drive off without him.

A Hundred. Nico is like a hundred percent done with Leo’s shit, he’s been moping around in his room for days and hasn’t come out for anything. Nico gets it, sometimes you need space to sort and get your shit together, but Leo’s not even doing that much. So he’s done with Leo brooding and sets out to kick his ass in gear. (There won’t be kicking of asses, but comforting.)

“Hey,” Nico says gently, knocking on the door. “You ready to come out yet? Fetus misses you quite a lot.”

He hears rustling, but no indications of Leo moving to unlock the door.

“He likes you more anyway.” Nico hears him grumble.

“I like you,” Nico pauses. “In a bro way?” (Full homo way, but Leo doesn't need to know that.)

Leo laugh is muffled by the door, but it’s still there and makes Nico’s lips quirked at the corners, but they fall when Leo opened the door and caught sight of him.

“What happened?” Nico fussed, letting himself in.

Leo looked like he walked right into a storm, baggy eyes from not getting enough sleep, hair messier than usual, and let’s not get into the state of his room.

He pursed his lips. “It’s pretty stupid.” He mumbled.

“Try me.”

“I asked Khione out.”

Nico stiffened and ignores the bile lurching in his stomach, Leo doesn’t need this right now, he needs a supportive friend.

“How bad was it?” Nico asks carefully, giving a sympathetic wince.

“On a scale from one to ten?” Leo flops back on his bed. “Eleven.”

“Damn,” Nico sits next to him, awkwardly patting his back to comfort him. “That sucks.”

Leo stares at him before cracking up. “You suck at this.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know,” He offered a tired smile before scooting closer and resting his head on Nico’s shoulder. “Can we get wasted tomorrow?”



Within a few minutes Leo’s entire body sags, his snoring filling the room. Nico carefully maneuvers Leo back on his bed, stifling his own yawn, he climbs into bed as well, and observed him for a few minutes. Leo’s face scrunched up from his hair falling into his face.

Nico raises his hand to brush it to the side but stopped and let his hand fall back to his side.

He brought a twelve pack of Heineken beer the next day, Leo praised Nico for the rest of the day, apologizing ahead of time for whatever he might pull when he’s completely smashed, and makes Nico promise to not let him drink past five beers.

Leo drinks past five beers. (He looks away for one second and Leo manages to chug another one.)

“Alright,” Nico puts away the rest before Leo can get his hands on another beer. “I think you’ve had enough.”

“No i didna't.” He shook his head, pouting.

“If you say so,” Nico hands him a glass of water. “Drink this.” Leo examines it cautiously before downing it and looking betrayed.

“Ctihs isn't beer.” He said in confusion.


Leo gasped. “Why?”

“You’re drunk.”

“Aynd you're sewxy.”

Before he could respond Leo lurched forward, starting to retch. Nico quickly grabbed the bucket next to the couch placing it in front of him as Leo hurls. The sound of splattering vomit against the can echoed through the room while Nico soothingly rubbed his back and had to promise not to let Leo get so drunk. (Again.)

It’s Valentines day, he’s surrounded by couples getting their mack on, it’s nauseating. Nico barely makes it to his last class without being traumatized for the rest of his life, there was one couple that nearly fucked in the hallway. What the everloving fuck is up with today? Did Cupid throw something in the air today?

He’s going to avoid his friends today, he doesn’t want to see them eating face more than usual and being corny and cheesy with their romance.

There is something odd though, Leo would be blowing up his phone right about now, usually withLet’s celebrate the anniversary of our supposed marriage or Hey Nico let’s be alone together. (Then he’d wiggled his eyebrows.)

He does get a text from Leo-

Roses r red

Violets r blue


I would've blew you

If only you got a fucking clue

But not the kind of message he was expecting. At all.

Not that he’s complaining. Nico types his reply and head for Leo’s place, hoping he’d be waiting for him.

Roses r red

Violets r blue

I’m a dickhead

You can blow me

Cause I got a fucking clue

His phone is going off, he doesn’t answer it, opting to snuggling closer into Nico, who nudges him. Leo could always call back later after all.

“Answer the phone.” Nico grumbles. He hums, still letting it ring.

Leo.” Nico warns.

Leo sighs, letting go of Nico, he answers the phone.

Jason’s loud voice greets him.

“What are you-”

“I’m trying to shine in the afterglow after having sex with Nico.”

“Wait wha-”


He sinks back into bed, smiling to himself when he feels Nico’s arms wrap around his waist and pull him closer.

“You could’ve worded that better.”

“How else would I say it? As much as I enjoy our conversations my dear Jason I must put this one on hold for I am relishing in the sensation of contentment after ejaculating with Nico, my lover as of today?”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Aye aye captain.”