“Today was nice,” Draco said as Astoria curled around his back, smiling when he felt a kiss brush across his shoulder. “We haven't had a day like that since...”
Astoria sighed and pulled Draco closer to her, tangling their legs together. “Since you told me about him.”
“He has a name, you know,” Draco pointed out. “You can use it.”
Astoria bit back a groan and instead smoothed her hands over Draco's bare chest. "Well, maybe I don't want to hear his name while we are in our bed."
Draco shifted against her, turning his head to try and catch Astoria's eye. “Astoria, I thought you said that you were okay with things now.”
“I did,” Astoria murmured. “I am. But that doesn't mean I want to listen to you talk about the guy you are fucking while you are lying in bed with me.”
Draco sighed heavily. “Are you ever going to tell me what is really wrong? Because you keep using this as an excuse but I know it is more than that.”
Astoria closed her eyes and buried her head in Draco's neck. “You know me too fucking well.”
“No, I know you just well enough,” Draco said firmly. “Now tell me what's wrong.”
Astoria sighed and slid her hands across Draco's chest again. “Wrong is probably not the right word for it. Nothing is really wrong. There's just...something on my mind. That's all.”
“And it's not Harry?”
“I thought I said I didn't want to hear his name while I'm in bed with you,” Astoria groaned. “But no, it's not him. Though ever since I found out, it has sort of changed my thinking a little bit.”
“I am beyond confused, so if you don't start telling me what the fuck you are talking about soon, I'm going to start getting upset,” Draco said, bringing his hands up to cover Astoria's. “Tell me.”
Astoria took a deep breath and squeezed Draco tightly. “It's been four years now, you and me. Do you realize that?”
“Four years, six weeks, and three days,” Draco said softly, laughing when he felt Astoria nip at his neck.
Astoria laughed and nodded against him. “You win.”
“Don't ever question whether or not I know how long it has been since I met you,” Draco said, bringing one of Astoria's hands up to kiss it. “I will never forget that day. Ever.”
“I want to marry you.”
Draco gasped and squirmed around in Astoria's embrace, finally managing to turn around so he could stare at her. "You want to..."
“Marry you,” Astoria said softly. “I want to marry you. But I don't know if that's what you want.”
Draco leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together, bringing a hand up to Astoria's face. "How could you possibly think that I don't want that?"
“Him,” Astoria said simply.
Draco shook his head, bringing his lips to Astoria's. “No. No, no, no, no, no. He's not part of this. He has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
“I want you to be mine, and only mine, for the rest of our lives,” Astoria whispered. “But you aren't only mine. And I'm not sure I could take standing in front of whoever marries us, listening to you promise to be faithful and true for the rest of eternity, knowing that as the words are leaving your lips, they are lies.”
“I wouldn't be lying,” Draco said quickly. “That...that wouldn't be a lie.”
Astoria glanced up at him. “So if we got married, you would end things with him?”
Draco rolled onto his back and sighed heavily. “I've already explained to you how it's not possible for me to give him up.”
“Then your vows would be full of lies,” Astoria said, turning her back to Draco. “And I don't think I could handle you breaking any more promises than you already have.”
Draco stared at Astoria's back for a moment before shifting onto his side, plastering himself along it. “But you still want to marry me, right?”
“Yes,” Astoria said softly. “Though I'm not entirely sure why anymore. There's a large part of my brain that's constantly screaming at me, telling me you are not the man I thought you were. Maybe it's right.”
Draco felt a sharp pang in his chest and he scrambled over Astoria, settling down in front of her and kissing her hard. “It hurts so much to hear you talk like this. Knowing that my stupidity when it comes to him is the reason for it makes it even worse.”
“You know, there were times today when it was almost like how it was before,” Astoria said, pulling Draco closer to her. “Before I knew about him and I thought that you belonged only to me. But then you'd smile at me and the first thought I'd have was of whether you smile at him like that too, and it just...I hate this, Draco. I hate it. I'm trying to be okay with it, but I hate it.”
“I know,” Draco said quietly.
“Pansy thinks I should leave you,” Astoria said, sliding a hand around the back of Draco's neck and caressing the soft skin there lightly. “But I said that I can't give you up. I suppose it's not all that different to how you feel about him.”
“Maybe,” Draco murmured. “But I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you.”
Astoria smiled and pulled Draco into a kiss. "I think I really needed to hear that," she admitted. "You haven't said it in a while."
“Haven't I?” Draco asked, rolling onto his back and pulling Astoria on top of him. “Well, I do. I love you. I can't wait to marry you.”
Astoria laughed and pulled Draco's arms above his head, pinning them there. “Who said we were getting married, hm?”
“I'm asking,” Draco said, grinning up at her. “Marry me?”
Astoria sighed. “I don't know how to get past this, Draco.”
“Then we'll figure it out,” Draco said, his smile fading a little. “I know we can work this out. However long it takes. I don't care if we get married next week or next year or a decade from now. But you can't just bring this up and then have us not get engaged.”
Astoria laughed and bent down, kissing him softly. “This is the most pathetic proposal ever.”
“We can make up some story to tell everyone,” Draco said, looking up at her. “Just say yes.”
Astoria stared at him for a moment before nodding slowly. “Yes.”