Every since he had been thaweded from being a capsickle, the heor known as Stephen Rodgers had done everything in his poweress to be as much of a hero as possible. But then one day, an old love reentered the tightened cavern of his incorruptable sole, with all of the speed and ferocity of a the fregith train he'd lost him on, threatening to tear him in twain; James Buchanon Kotter Barns. Stephen had thought that Bucky was dead, but it was not to be. For bucky lived, yet did not live. He lived as a mind-controled Winter Soldier, like some kind of a sexy man-meat doll done up in leather and a silver arm. Steve thought of all the things one could do with that metal arm. It probably had ultra speed and agility. Yum.
But then one day the Avengers were betrayed by the evil Tony Stakr. Tonky Starch was a cruel bully who did nothing all day but antagonize Steve, the Avengers, and Steve. Yet Steve put up with the asshole playboy, as long as he could play wiht his asshole. But then Bucky turned good again and Tony got jealous
"I will see you all hanged you butt fuckers!" Tony stark said evilly, and then he locked all of his freidns up in a superhero prison.
"Tony!" gasped Ant Man, real name Scot Pilgrim, "why would you betray your family and lock us all up?"
"Because I have a new god now!!" Tony said stroking his evil goatee evilly. "The Sokovinoff Acords! I am your mast er now!" then he farted in all of the imprisoned Avengers faces, with his Iron Man suit, so they were very powerful Iron farts. Clint Barton AKA Hawkeye choked on the compound, which TOny had evilly brewled in his labratory before synthesizing it into a bean burrito, and died.
"Falcon," gasped Hawkeye, "Tell Major O'Houlihan that I love her! TEll everyone at MASH that I love them!" and then he expired.
"BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Tony STark laughed evilly.
"You will not get away with this you goateed son of evil!" proclaimed Black Widow.
"I second that!" yelled Wonder Woman.
"You whore!" agreed Darkwing Duck
"You will never defeat me!" Tony Stark bellowed evilly.
then he went to siberia where Steve and Bucky were making out.
"Steve is mine!" said Tony evilly.
"Wait!" said the evil Russian bad guy Nemo. "I have a video to show you!" it was a video of Bucky killing TOny's parents, only Bucky was mind controled at the time and TONY KNEW AND DIDNT NEED MUCH REMINDING BECUAE HE KNEW!!!!!.
"Did u no?" Tony asked Steve with evil fury and anger.
Steve was cleraly and visibibilly hurting for Tony's pain. He hurt so sympathetically that a single, glistening golden tear glimmered down his cheek, a sparkilng diamond of God's own divine piss, pouring out the last of his soul. "Yes" Steve confizzed. "But I lied to keep you protected."
"Bucky!!!" Snarled TOny, in a calm, calculating and rational manner. "I know that you were not in control of your actrions when you killed my parents. Nevertheless, i feel like letting off steem. THIS kind of steem." Then he turned around and unleashed from his Iron cheeks a cloud of Iron acid, a cloud of leathel eather that killed all in its wake. Moths flying between him and Bucky dropped like Dominos as the Iron Fart passt through, towadrs the terrified leather clad hunk of man meat.
'then This is the end" Bucky sighed with much trepidition and pertritude.
"NOPOOO" said Steve heroically. "HE IS MY FRIEND! THIS WON"T CHANGE THE PAST!"
"I don't care," Tony said. "I am evil and I want to let off steem." Then he farted another black and red Iron Fart, filled with red flames, but it was blocked by Steve's shield.
"Tony," Steve said herocalculically, "allowing the government to set rules for us is a mistake!! Tehy might have an agenda!! THE ONLY way to do what is write is to follow the way of Truth and Justice, and only a True Hero is albeo to do this, not politicians or police men or sodiers in the army. That is why you fail."
"It is YOU who shall fail!" Iron Man said, and with another Iron Fart he knocked Steve's shield from his manly hands.
Another ball of flames eruptulated from Tony's Iron buttox, but Stephan punched away with his pure fists. With a burst of golden purity emerging nform the soull of his heart like a golden volcano, he proclaimed purely, "I could do this all day!" he proclaimed.
"Steve," Gasped Bucky, "I am dying. I love you."
"YNNNNNNNO!" steve sobbed sadly.
"At last!" Tony laughed evilly. "My evil revenge is completedid!"
Suddenly, there was a loud rumble like golden thundre. but it was not Thor. It was something far more heroic and noble. It was a new compound of supersoldier gas, formed from a cloud of incoruptable purity and good intentions. And from his American flag tattooed ass emerged a glistening golden eagle the size of a dragon, and it swooped around the room magnificently and then bit Iron Man's head off.
"Horrayy!" cried the Avengers. "The evil Tony Stark is dead and we are free!!!!!"
Then Steve and Bucky kissed liek the sailor and the soldier in the famous WWII picture. And as they kissed, from Steve's magnificent ass burst forth an explosion of red, white and blue fireworks, igniting and illuminating the entire globe. and everyone lived hapily ever after, for the tyranical rain of Tony Stark and the Sodapop Accords had come to a complosure.