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notbarryallen changed steel’s name to gayforray

Chapter Text



TheAtom added Heatwave, Steel, KidFlash, WhiteCanary, Constantine, ZTomaz, and AvaSharpe to The Waverider Group Chat


TheAtom: Hey, guys!

Heatwave: why

TheAtom: I was bored, and I thought, why not make a group chat where we could all talk? It’s connected to the temporal matrix of the Waverider and Gideon, independent on any sort of mobile network or internet connection, which means…

Steel: we can communicate across time like Martin did with Lily!

TheAtom: Yes, exactly!

TheAtom: But only if the Waverider’s there, so not quite like Martin and Lily…

TheAtom: I’ll have you know I’ve been working on this for quite a while.

Heatwave: again, why

TheAtom: Oh, I don’t know, Mick, we might need something from one another, and there will be no signal, so we won’t be able to text each other, but guess what, we’ll have this!

KidFlash: might be fun

KidFlash: also hey guys!

Steel: Wally, my friend, how’s it going?

KidFlash: oh you know, just playing games with zari

KidFlash: and kicking her ass as ever lol

ZTomaz: yeah, like it’s fair, with your super speed and all

TheAtom: Wally, are you cheating???

KidFlash: no nothing of the sort I’m a natural talent

ZTomaz: btw, I think this is a fantastic idea, Ray

KidFlash: sarcasm?

ZTomaz: obviously

ZTomaz: can we maybe change our names?

ZTomaz: never mind I figured it out


ZTomaz changed their name to ZariIsTheBest

KidFlash changed their name to notbarryallen


TheAtom: But they were the perfect usernames!

ZariIsTheBest: well someone here doesn’t have a superhero name

Constantine: What in the bloody hell is this obscenity?

TheAtom: The Legends chat!

Constantine: Why

Heatwave: I said the same thing

AvaSharpe: Wait, since when do you have a phone?

Constantine: Ah, hello, pet

Gary: I may have obtained one for him

AvaSharpe: What are you even doing here, Gary?

Heatwave: yeah no one invited you time pig

Gary: It’s not so hard to find your way in here if you have the right tech, I mean, I beg your pardon, but as an intern legend I thought I should see what’s going on

WhiteCanary: You’re not an “intern legend”, Gary, we’ve talked about it

ZariIsTheBest: so is no one gonna mention the fact Gary and John are clearly sleeping together

ZariIsTheBest: he’s on the Waverider, that’s how he got access

ZariIsTheBest: and obviously that’s the reason Gary bought John a phone

ZariIsTheBest: just saying

notbarryallen: wait, what

AvaSharpe: Gary, is that true?

Constantine: Always with the annoying questions, this one

AvaSharpe: I wasn’t talking to you.

Heatwave: I need a beer

notbarryallen: that makes two of us

Gary: Uhhhhhhhh yes it may be true

AvaSharpe: Constantine, I’m warning you. If you do as much as look at him wrong, I promise you I will kill you.

AvaSharpe: As for you, Gary, I need you in my office. Right now.

Gary: Right now? I kind of… can’t. Gimme a minute

Constantine: He’s naked ;)

AvaSharpe: I did not need to know that. Shut up, Constantine. Gary, get your ass here.

Steel: I bet Sara likes it when Ava gives orders ;)

WhiteCanary: You do know I can read this, don’t you, Nate?

Steel: sorry, captain

Steel: but not sorry

TheAtom: I must admit, this turned into rather unexpected directions.

ZariIsTheBest: honestly, Ray, could you expect anything else from this crew??

TheAtom: I guess you’re right, LOL.

ZariIsTheBest: please don’t do that

TheAtom: Do what?

ZariIsTheBest: use “lol”

ZariIsTheBest: no one really does that anymore

TheAtom: Well, if someone’s from the future. We still use it here in 2018.

Steel: um no we don’t

notbarryallen: speak 4 urself, old man, clearly u don’t kno the internet

notbarryallen: we still use it ironically, like, no one means it, but it’s there, so shut up

notbarryallen: though Ray probably means it

notbarryallen: lol

TheAtom: Haha, very funny. But thanks for backing me up, man.

ZariIsTheBest: guys, I was born in 2016, so I know for a fact it’s almost over

ZariIsTheBest: it’s history for me

Steel: that’s what I’m talking about, bring it girl

Steel: wait if you were born in 2016 that means there’s a cute lil baby Zari out there somewhere, can we visit

ZariIsTheBest: don’t you dare say another word, Heywood

WhiteCanary: Can we agree on no internet abbreviations of any kind and no meeting our younger versions, so we’re all happy

TheAtom: Roger that, captain.

notbarryallen: not fair

WhiteCanary: You can go and clean up the kitchen if you don’t like it, Wally

notbarryallen: not a problem

notbarryallen: but still not fair

notbarryallen: done

notbarryallen: that was a lot of dishes

WhiteCanary: Well, it’s Mick’s duty today

notbarryallen: obviously

Heatwave: I was gonna do it after second lunch

WhiteCanary: No, you weren’t

Heatwave: fair point


notbarryallen changed Heatwave’s name to grunt


notbarryallen: he literally just grunted and glowered at me so I thought

TheAtom: He does that a lot, our Mick.


notbarryallen changed TheAtom’s name to rayofsunshine


rayofsunshine: I like that!

rayofsunshine: Because, you know, Ray is my name. It’s clever!


notbarryallen changed Steel’s name to gayforray


gayforray: hey, change it back, bro

gayforray: that’s no way what I am, no, not at all

gayforray: I am not gay

grunt: sure

gayforray: what was that, Mick?

grunt: you and haircut make me sick sometimes

WhiteCanary: We’ve all been there, Nate

WhiteCanary: I mean, you two would make such an adorable couple

grunt: what, me and pretty? no way

grunt: not my type

WhiteCanary: No, Mick, I meant Nate and Ray

gayforray: wait, Mick, you’re into guys???

grunt: I like chicks more but yeah

grunt: but I don’t see how that’s your fricking business

rayofsunshine: Okay, that’s definitely an interesting piece of information.

grunt: why am I even talking to you idiots

grunt: I need another beer

rayofsunshine: Hey, why don’t we all share one thing the others don’t know about us yet?

rayofsunshine: I’ll start: as a kid, I got sick because I ate way too much of Gran’s plum pie and had to stay in the hospital for two days, twice! It was a horrible experience, but it was the only dessert I ever ate, and it was unbelievably good, so it was totally worth it anyway.

gayforray: I did actually know that

gayforray: did you know I’ve never failed any test or exam, like ever

rayofsunshine: I did!

rayofsunshine: And me neither!

notbarryallen: see what I meant

WhiteCanary: Absolutely

WhiteCanary: And I’m not playing this stupid game

ZariIsTheBest: on my 21st birthday, I secretly sneaked out of the house at night, went to a bar and ordered a flavored beer

grunt: flavored beer is gross why would you do that

ZariIsTheBest: the point is that drinking is forbidden in my religion, Mick. it was less about the beer and more about the rebellion

ZariIsTheBest: it was the only time I broke the rules and it was actually a really great night

grunt: your religion is weird, why would anyone forbid drinking

ZariIsTheBest: why does anyone do anything, is the question

Constantine: You don’t know plenty about me but for starters I lost my virginity to a girl who’s now a nun in Mexico

ZariIsTheBest: wow, John

gayforray: did that experience make her wanna become a nun

Constantine: Wouldn’t you like to know


ZariIsTheBest changed WhiteCanary’s name to Lancelot

ZariIsTheBest changed AvaSharpe’s name to MissTimeBureau

ZariIsTheBest changed Constantine’s name to Trenchcoat

ZariIsTheBest changed Gary’s name to AgentGeek


ZariIsTheBest: there you go, all set

Lancelot: Nice one, Zari

Trenchcoat: I don’t like this name, or you lot

Lancelot: Just Gary, am I right?

Lancelot: And your trenchcoat, which you never put down, so it’s only fitting

Trenchcoat: And you too, love

MissTimeBureau: Stop right there.

Trenchcoat: Jealous again, pet?

MissTimeBureau: She’s mine.

MissTimeBureau: But, as much as it pains me, I have to agree with you, I don’t like this nickname.

ZariIsTheBest: tough luck, they’re staying

MissTimeBureau: You know I could just change it myself, right?

ZariIsTheBest: you could, but something tells me you won’t, director Sharpe

MissTimeBureau: And what is that, Miss Tomaz?

ZariIsTheBest: Gideon found multiple reports on a sphinx terrorizing the first Olympic games in ancient Greece

Lancelot: That’s our cue, team, we gotta go and save a bunch of naked, oiled athletes from being eaten before the Games are erased from history!

grunt: that’s kinda hot

gayforray: wait, is someone gonna go undercover as a sportsman, let’s say, a beautiful hero with perfect hair, body and knowledge of history? and the ability to turn his skin into steel?

Lancelot: If you leave your phone alone for a minute and actually come to the control room, I might actually tell you

Lancelot: That applies to the rest of you children too

Chapter Text

There was a Hydra on the shores of seventeenth-century Barcelona. You might think, typical Legends business these days, right?

Right. However, there was one tiny detail most mythology books forgot to mention: it was five metres tall, and it had a terrible breath.

That was a side effect of having nine heads, Ray figured.

Yes, nine heads, because some brave knights were too brave to think reasonably; they just had to dream about vanquishing the enormous creature and being rewarded with glory.

Oh, and there was one more tiny detail he’d left out: the Hydra had ripped those knights to pieces and eaten them, and was threatening to eat a bunch of unfortunate English sailors now, hence the Legends’ immediate interference.

Now, if Constantine isn’t going to hurry up and send it back to wherever it belonged, Ray was about to suffer the same fate, because he was the distraction.

Needless to say, things weren’t looking very bright right now.

‘Nate, I’m going to die,’ he screamed, blasters ready to fire at will. ‘If I could just shrink it like I suggested, this would be really easy, but no, the universe can’t have a shrunken Hydra, so instead, I’m going to die. We’re going to die.’

Nate ran to his side. ‘I won’t let that happen,’ he shouted over the roaring Hydra, ‘and besides, you’d be the only one to die, I’d just give it a toothache and it would spit me out.’

Ray thought it would be impossible to laugh in such a situation, but he still had to laugh. Nate had that effect on him.

He shook his head, looking at the creature, calculating. It was too big. And approaching. ‘I can’t do it.’

Nate looked him in the eye. ‘Yes, you can, buddy. I’ll hold your hand if it helps.’ He offered a hand and wagged his fingers in invitation.

With a sigh, Ray took it. ‘Yeah, okay. Thanks, bro.’

‘Let’s do it.’ Nate steeled up.

Ray looked ahead, into the Hydra’s many yellow eyes. It was dangerously close to the English boat, and to them. His heart beat fast.

‘Hey, Mr Hydra, or Mrs Hydra or whatever you are,’ he shouted on the top of his lungs, ‘we’re here! Don’t mind them!’

‘We’re a much better snack than they are!’ added Nate.

To emphasise his point, Ray started waving with his one free hand, and Nate followed suit. Three heads focused on them.

Nate mumbled under his breath, ‘where’s Amaya now when you need her.’

Ray had to agree.

‘John, now would be a good time,’ Ray said into his comm when one of the heads opened its mouth and bared its large, sharp teeth. It was ready to snap either of them in half, powers or no powers.

Ray fired a blast right into its throat. It only made the Hydra angrier.

When Ray’s life flashed before his eyes, a yellow, glowing portal opened underneath the giant serpent and swallowed it whole.

Ray sighed in relief. He didn’t let Nate’s hand go. Excitement bubbled in his stomach.

He turned to Nate, face hovering close to his. ‘We didn’t die!’

‘Told you,’ he said, leaning closer. He enveloped Ray in a tight hug. Steel turned back to flesh.

They stayed like this, breathing deeply until Constantine approached them with a sarcastic remark on his tongue and Zari cooed at them for being too cute on the comm.

They pulled apart, glowered at nothing in particular, and returned to the Waverider, residual adrenaline and a bit of childish excitement coursing through their veins.

Chapter Text



ZariIsTheBest changed the group’s name to Let’s Get Nate and Ray to Bone 2K18


notbarryallen: I’m in

ZariIsTheBest: honestly those two

ZariIsTheBest: did you see them today

notbarryallen: oh yeah

notbarryallen: it was all “nate, I’m going to die”

notbarryallen: “I won’t let that happen”

notbarryallen: “I’ll hold your hand if it helps”

notbarryallen: “sure”

notbarryallen: “bro”

Lancelot: Shh but I’m kinda living for this

ZariIsTheBest: see, even the captain ships them

notbarryallen: high five

Lancelot: You’re literally in the same room, why are you texting?

notbarryallen: it’s fun

ZariIsTheBest: and we’re all on the same ship to begin with so who cares

notbarryallen: speaking of ships, where are those two?? I’d have thought they’d say sth by now

grunt: I bet they’re somewhere off fucking

ZariIsTheBest: no, they’re not, Mick, that’s kind of the point

notbarryallen: wait, are you sure, mick

notbarryallen: sorry haha

grunt: went to the library together

Lancelot: Interesting

Lancelot: Let’s ask Gideon

rayofsunshine: Hey, what’s going on here? Why did you change the chat name?

rayofsunshine: And why do you conspire against me, behind my back? That’s basically treason, not to mention Dr. Heywood and I are friends.

ZariIsTheBest: sure, you’re not bickering like a married couple and giving each other sickening puppy eyes at all

rayofsunshine: What’s that supposed to mean?

ZariIsTheBest: nothing, never mind me

notbarryallen: are you sure about the whole friends thing though

notbarryallen: you’re obviously soooo into each other

rayofsunshine: No, we’re not, that’s nonsense. I’ve only ever dated women, and so did Nate.

notbarryallen: you sure about that? bc I’ve known him for longer than you do

rayofsunshine: Really?

rayofsunshine: I mean, that’s fine, of course, I’m not judging or anything.

ZariIsTheBest: who’s even straight here, to be honest

ZariIsTheBest: not me

Lancelot: I never knew you were into girls, Zari! That’s great!

ZariIsTheBest: well, it’s not like you and I have an exemplary relationship and tell each other things, but yeah, I’m actually an ace lesbian

notbarryallen: we know sara and john are bi and same about mick and gary I assume

notbarryallen: and ava’s also a lesbian

notbarryallen: I’m demi

notbarryallen: and I’ve seen nate buy a dude a drink at least once

notbarryallen: so let’s face it, ray

Lancelot: And we’ve all seen him flirt with that Greek guy at the Olympics

ZariIsTheBest: damn, what was his name??

Lancelot: If I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d say he was very hot

notbarryallen: menides or sth like that

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, that’s it

MissTimeBureau: But you said it, Lance. I saw it.

Lancelot: Don’t worry, Sharpe, I love you very much, and I’ll make it up to you ;)

MissTimeBureau: Want me to come to the ship?

Lancelot: Well, if you’re not busy, I’d love that

MissTimeBureau: I suppose this paperwork can wait until tomorrow.

Lancelot: Great ;)

grunt: ugh stop flirting you two

gayforray: why is Sara the only one who’s getting any, that’s not fair

ZariIsTheBest: you know, for a genius and a superhero you’re really quite dumb sometimes

gayforray: wait, what did I miss

ZariIsTheBest: oh, nothing at all

notbarryallen: hey nate why don’t you ask ray if he wants to netflix & chill

notbarryallen: if you wanna get some so bad

gayforray: for the last time, I’m not actually gay

ZariIsTheBest: no?? and what about Menides, you were buddying over sports?

ZariIsTheBest: I’m a lesbian, not blind, that guy was hot and you’d be stripping him with your eyes if he weren’t already naked

gayforray: wait, you saw that???

ZariIsTheBest: it’s not something you forget…

gayforray: I hate y’all

rayofsunshine: Do you wanna come over and marathon Doctor Who?

gayforray: yeah, sure, thanks, man

rayofsunshine: I’ll fabricate us some popcorn!

gayforray: great <3

notbarryallen: 👀

ZariIsTheBest: 👀

Lancelot: Seriously, guys, even a blind man could see that

Trenchcoat: That was quick

Lancelot: Shut up, Constantine

notbarryallen: look who’s showed up

Lancelot: Are you just reading the messages without actually saying something?

ZariIsTheBest: the guy’s creepy, haven’t you figured that out yet?

Trenchcoat: I beg your pardon, love, I’m not “creepy”

Trenchcoat: Just mysterious

ZariIsTheBest: okay, say what you will

ZariIsTheBest: honestly, I don’t know what Gary sees in you

Trenchcoat: I’ll have you know, I’m a very charming man and I’ve found my way into many lonely hearts

AgentGeek: He’s surprisingly good at D&D and really cool when it comes to actual magic and exorcisms

AgentGeek: Also really hot

AgentGeek: That accent

AgentGeek: Ok I’ll shut up now

ZariIsTheBest: ohh, Constantine’s an actual warlock, I get it now

AgentGeek: Get what?

ZariIsTheBest: nothing, Gary, go play with your toys

Trenchcoat: Wanna play with my toy, love ;)

AgentGeek: Hnkfcmdj

AgentGeek: You on the Waverider

Trenchcoat: Definitely ready to ride something

AgentGeek: Omg

AgentGeek: Wow

AgentGeek: I’m on my way ;))

ZariIsTheBest: ahem

ZariIsTheBest: you know there’s this thing called private messaging

AgentGeek: Lksnfdsshnnn

Lancelot: I think you broke Gary

Trenchcoat: I’m afraid that’s all me, Sara ;)))

Lancelot: Okay, no more winking smileys, please

Lancelot: Yes, I know I used it first, but please, respect your captain on this

notbarryallen: mood

ZariIsTheBest: anyhow, have you noticed that Nate and Ray don’t talk to us anymore

ZariIsTheBest: anything might be happening behind those closed doors

gayforray: nothing’s happening, why are you like this

rayofsunshine: Yeah, can’t you leave a man alone? We’re watching Doctor Who.

gayforray: and really can you change my name

ZariIsTheBest: not until you talk about it

gayforray: for fuck’s sake, there’s nothing to talk about

Lancelot: Do you want me to tie you to a chair?

Lancelot: Really tight

rayofsunshine: Et tu, Sara?

grunt: I say get them real drunk and see what happens

ZariIsTheBest: who are you and what have you done to Mick, because I might just love you

rayofsunshine: Mick, you traitor, I thought you were my friend.

grunt: I’m no ones friend, haircut

ZariIsTheBest: that’s cute but also a lie, you know you love us, Mick

grunt: whatever I’m getting some donuts

gayforray: can you bring us some too?

grunt: get your own

notbarryallen: I can bring donuts

notbarryallen: I’m living for this

notbarryallen: #OperationSteelAtom2K18

rayofsunshine: That’s it, I won’t help you with anything, ever again.

notbarryallen: I think we both know that won’t last

Lancelot: We all know it’s real when he gets offended

Chapter Text



ZariIsTheBest: whoever’s listening to very loud kpop, please turn it down, I need to concentrate on engine maintenance

ZariIsTheBest: I can hear it all the way down here

notbarryallen: oh sorry girl that would be me

notbarryallen: I totally forgot I wasn’t the only one who got stuck on the ship when everyone else’s enjoying a lil trip to medieval prague

ZariIsTheBest: thanks, Wally

notbarryallen: so, any updates on our favorite couple 😏

ZariIsTheBest: still nothing as far as I know

ZariIsTheBest: I’m beginning to think Mick’s idea wasn’t so bad

notbarryallen: ohh I know what they need

notbarryallen: cisco’s super juice

ZariIsTheBest: that thing that can get a speedster drunk?

notbarryallen: yeah, that one

ZariIsTheBest: oh boy, that’s gonna be wild

notbarryallen: I know

notbarryallen: rip had a sip when he visited me in china and man was he wasted :p

notbarryallen: I kinda miss him tbh

ZariIsTheBest: I didn’t know him that well but he seemed like a nice guy

notbarryallen: he was, even if the others said he was an asshole sometimes

ZariIsTheBest: okay I really need to do the maintenance now or I don’t guarantee a safe return

notbarryallen: yeah I’ll leave you to it

notbarryallen: anyone else around?

AgentGeek: I’m not particularly busy atm

MissTimeBureau: Is that so, Gary? I remember telling you to take the memory-wiper and go help the Legends in Prague.

AgentGeek: I did, director, where do you think I am right now?

MissTimeBureau: All right, carry on.

AgentGeek: Yes, director

AgentGeek: You were saying, Wally?

notbarryallen: nevermind I’m playing miss pac man now

Lancelot: Hands down, team, we put the demon back where it belongs and now we’re coming back

Trenchcoat: Nasty piece of business, that one

Lancelot: Is everything in order, Zari?

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, almost there, captain

Lancelot: Great

Lancelot: Got a bottle of fine wine from the king before we wiped his memory, wanna celebrate, Sharpe <3

MissTimeBureau: You know it, Lance <3

rayofsunshine: So you’re doing hearts now? That’s cute.

Lancelot: How about you and Nate, you there yet?

rayofsunshine: Don’t you think it’s getting a little old?

Lancelot: Nah, not really

ZariIsTheBest: …now you’re the ones texting when next to each other

Lancelot: Okay, that’s fair

Lancelot: Does this mean you’re done?

ZariIsTheBest: everything’s pitch-perfect, cap *salute*

ZariIsTheBest: see what you’ve done, Ray? thanks to you the team is unable to communicate like normal human beings now

rayofsunshine: I apologize, that definitely wasn’t my intention…

grunt: can I have the wine too

rayofsunshine: I didn’t know you were a wine guy, Mick.

grunt: I drink everything with alcohol

Lancelot: And no Mick, you can’t. Have Gideon make some if you want, but this bottle is for mine and Ava’s use only

Lancelot: And maybe John’s because he exorcized that demon, I think he earned it

Trenchcoat: Why thanks love

Lancelot: I said maybe

Lancelot: Okay come over here

Trenchcoat: Ta

AgentGeek: Can I come too?

MissTimeBureau: No, Gary.

MissTimeBureau: You’re going to come anyway, aren’t you?

AgentGeek: Probably

Trenchcoat: He’s with me

MissTimeBureau: Okay, fine.

Lancelot: You say that quite often

Lancelot: Are you like a package deal now?

Trenchcoat: Oh I wouldn’t go so far

AgentGeek: Yes

notbarryallen: lol

Lancelot: I thought we agreed not to use that one, Wally

notbarryallen: couldn’t not use it

notbarryallen: nate buddy how was prague

notbarryallen: you’ve been unusually quiet

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, how was it??

gayforray: why is being quiet weird

gayforray: I can do quiet

notbarryallen: nothing, just thought you’d be like super excited for all day about meeting charles iv bc I know you’re sorta fascinated by the era

notbarryallen: or you know about someone else too ;)

gayforray: that. that’s why I don’t talk to you

Lancelot: They spent the entire trip together, chatting about this and that and smiling at each other like idiots all the time

Lancelot: So, just the usual

gayforray: I swear to god y’all are like teenagers

ZariIsTheBest: actually guys you’re the oblivious teenagers here

ZariIsTheBest: even though we repeatedly told you you should date, you keep insisting that you’re just best friends, that’s getting old

Lancelot: Honestly, just get it over with and find a room

Lancelot: Captain’s orders :3

ZariIsTheBest: nasty

Lancelot: I know

notbarryallen: look they’re quiet again

Lancelot: God, I remember how I was with Ava at first

Lancelot: Neither of us was sure we liked each other and wouldn’t ask the other out until Leo and Zari told me to get it over with and finally stop being a coward

Lancelot: It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me

Lancelot: So when I tell you guys you obviously like each other, it’s gotta be true, and you should bloody listen to me

Lancelot: Jeez I’m speaking like Constantine now

Trenchcoat: Got a problem, love?

Lancelot: Nope

Lancelot: It’s just this wine really is good and strong

ZariIsTheBest: Sara does have a point

notbarryallen: hey has anyone seen those 2

ZariIsTheBest: is there maybe a chance they actually listened to you for once 👀

Lancelot: Hey! People listen to my orders

Lancelot: Mostly

rayofsunshine: Don’t worry, we love you, captain.

ZariIsTheBest: 👀

notbarryallen: 👀

Lancelot: 👀

rayofsunshine: Why is everyone doing that??

rayofsunshine: I’m confused.

notbarryallen: oh baby

notbarryallen: nate any good?

rayofsunshine: We didn’t… do that.

ZariIsTheBest: someone secretly has a dirty mind, wow

gayforray: good speech, cap

gayforray: might’ve worked

Trenchcoat: Do tell

notbarryallen: yass high five wizard

Trenchcoat: Not a wizard, lad

grunt: oh look someones pulled their heads out of their asses

Lancelot: Did you do what I think you did

rayofsunshine: That rather depends on what you think we did. Did we continue watching Doctor Who? Yes, you don’t start a re-watch without finishing it.

notbarryallen: dude you’re impossible

gayforray: did we make out? yeah maybe we did

ZariIsTheBest: maybe or for real

gayforray: for real

ZariIsTheBest: looks like our mission was successfully accomplished, guys

gayforray: I still hate y’all though

Lancelot: Don’t be ridiculous, we did you a favor

Lancelot: So now that it’s settled, can we go back to work

Trenchcoat: I don’t think they’ll be able to go back to work for a while, love ;)

Lancelot: Good point

Lancelot: Enjoy yourselves, boys, and don’t forget protection

gayforray: 🖕

notbarryallen: ok but can we appreciate for a sec that wizard’s a part of our shipping club

notbarryallen: iconic


notbarryallen changed the group’s name to Legends of Gay™


Lancelot: Good name, Wally

notbarryallen: only the gays get to be legendary

Chapter Text

He gulped loudly. Fuck, this was harder than he thought.

Breathe in, breathe out.

A knock on the door. A bat of his lashes. His heart was up in his throat.

The waiting was infinite.

Finally, the door slid open.

‘Hey, Nate. What brings you to my humble quarters?’ Ray asked. Surprise laced his voice.

Nate pulled his mobile out of a pocket and waved it in front of Ray’s face. ‘This.’

‘Oh, I know, they never stop, do they? I knew this thing was a bad idea.’ He scoffed and invited Nate inside. ‘It’s all nonsense, what they’re saying.’

Now there was a hint of uncertainty behind the syllables.

‘No.’ A step closer.

‘What do you mean, no?’

‘I mean no, Ray, it’s not nonsense.’ He took another breath. Looked down and toyed with the mobile for a silent minute.

Ray looked at him softly. ‘What are you saying?’

‘Screw this, man. She’s right, Sara’s right.’ He was looking him in the eye now. ‘I was a coward, dwelling in the past,’ what else could you expect from a historian, ‘thinking about Amaya, trying to see how I could fix that relationship. But Amaya is in 1942, and I’m still here. Enough of the past.’ He put a hand on Ray’s shoulder. ‘The truth is I like you, Ray. I do. I’m 100% bisexual and I like you.’

There it was, the beans were spilt.

Nate didn’t notice he’s been unconsciously pushing Ray closer to a wall.

For once, Ray Palmer was speechless. He just stared; blinked; smiled.

‘Nate,’ he finally said, ‘I—’

A pause. Hearts beat like a hummingbird’s.

‘No. No, don’t Tenth-Doctor me right now. That’s a sad scene,’ Nate muttered.

Lips touched his before he realised the full extent of what was happening.

It was electric.

He lit up like a Christmas tree on this inside, and smiled against Ray’s kiss.

Chapter Text



rayofsunshine: So now when we’re all friends again, maybe we could add some more people to this? I thought about Jax, for example.

ZariIsTheBest: there are enough people as it is, do you really want to add more

ZariIsTheBest: and when were we not friends, I’m wounded

notbarryallen: wouldn’t it like break our gay aesthetic

Lancelot: Says someone who isn’t actually gay

notbarryallen: I’m lgbt it counts

gayforray: I’m pretty sure Jax would fit in just right

ZariIsTheBest: speaking of, how was your night 👀

ZariIsTheBest: a bird told me you slept in Ray’s room

gayforray: Wally, why

notbarryallen: cmon man you couldn’t think this was over

rayofsunshine: Our night was great, why thank you.

gayforray: turns out Ray’s an octopus

Lancelot: Yeah I know, Kendra told me c:

gayforray: it’s kinda cute

gayforray: who’s kendra?

rayofsunshine: My 4000 years old reincarnating Egyptian hawk demigoddess ex-girlfriend.

gayforray: okay wow why am I only hearing about her now?

rayofsunshine: I told you I’ve dated on the ship before, back in my cave in the prehistoric.

gayforray: but not that your ex was so cool man

grunt: haircut and hawk chick were engaged

gayforray: wait, what

grunt: yeah

rayofsunshine: Can we maybe not talk about this anymore?

Lancelot: Sure, who else do you wanna add, Ray?


rayofsunshine added Jaxon, MiniDarhk, and MiniStein to Legends of Gay™


Lancelot: Did you seriously add Nora Darhk???

MiniDarhk: what is this, who are you, and why am I here

rayofsunshine: Hey, Nora, this is Ray!

MiniDarhk: palmer?

rayofsunshine: The one and only.

rayofsunshine: You’re not evil anymore, are you?

MiniDarhk: very smooth, palmer

MiniDarhk: I’m still locked in time bureau prison if that’s what you’re asking

rayofsunshine: You didn’t use the time stone?

MissTimeBureau: Wait, what?

MissTimeBureau: What are you even doing here?

rayofsunshine: Nothing, forget I said anything, Ava.

MissTimeBureau: I’m not sure if I can. Did you really give Nora Darhk the time stone?

rayofsunshine: I’d rather not answer that.

Lancelot: Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, Ray

MiniDarhk: uh oh, here comes trouble

MissTimeBureau: You don’t get to say anything.

Trenchcoat: You’re the one we tried getting mallus out of and failed

MiniDarhk: yeah, well, sorry about that?

MiniDarhk: why legends of gay

notbarryallen: bc no one here’s straight 🌈

rayofsunshine: How about you?

MiniDarhk: between malice and world domination you don’t really have time to figure it out

MiniDarhk: why am I even talking to you…

notbarryallen: do you like dudes

MiniDarhk: yeah

notbarryallen: and girls

MiniDarhk: idk?

notbarryallen: good answer, I think you can stay

MiniDarhk: who are you, anyway

MiniDarhk: clearly not barry allen

notbarryallen: the name’s wally west, I’m also a speedster

MiniDarhk: oh right, that one

MiniStein: Hi, everyone, I’m Lily Stein.

Lancelot: Hey, Lily! How’s little Ronnie??

MiniStein: Demanding at times but he’s still the best thing that could happen to me and we all love him so much <3

MiniDarhk: you’re the professor’s daughter?

MiniStein: You are Damien Darhk’s daughter?

MiniDarhk: yes

MiniStein: Okay, nice to meet you!

MiniDarhk: nice to meet you too, I guess

MiniDarhk: aren’t you gonna ask her if she belongs here too

MiniStein: Excuse me?

rayofsunshine: Lily is the honorary straight person we all love.

ZariIsTheBest: until yesterday you couldn’t admit you were bi,

Jaxon: hey guys its been a while

Jaxon: whats darhk’s daughter doing here

Lancelot: Jax, welcome back!

Lancelot: And apparently, Ray’s gone crazy

rayofsunshine: Come on, guys, everyone deserves a second chance. That’s kind of our motto.

gayforray: I thought that was “we screw up things for the better”

rayofsunshine: That’s debatable.

MiniStein: Jax, why don’t you come over to family dinner tonight? Mom’s making her famous casserole. We’d love to see you!

Jaxon: sure im working til 6 but i can come then

Jaxon: anyways what’s up with you guys

notbarryallen: nate and ray are dating now

grunt: We’re hunting magical fuckers

ZariIsTheBest: Amaya left and Sara’s got a girlfriend

rayofsunshine: It’s Ava Sharpe.

notbarryallen: we’ve got a wizard now

Trenchcoat: Again, I’m not a bloody wizard

Jaxon: wow you’ve gone wild while im gone

Jaxon: wait did i see right, nate and ray are dating??

Lancelot: That’s correct

gayforray: we’re not dating

ZariIsTheBest: no, you just made out and spent the night together

Trenchcoat: And made my stomach turn with disgust at breakfast

notbarryallen: puppy eyes and longing glances?

Trenchcoat: Even worse than before

ZariIsTheBest: but to be fair you and Gary aren’t exactly the subtlest either

ZariIsTheBest: I’ve seen some things I really wish to unsee

ZariIsTheBest: and I’ve seen Mick naked

notbarryallen: I wanna unsee that too

Jaxon: yo im not pretending to understand any of that but does he still walk round the ship naked in the morning

grunt: whats wrong with that

notbarryallen: someone wants to keep their sight

MiniDarhk: I gotta admit, this is kind of juicy

ZariIsTheBest: I never thought I’d say this but I agree with Nora Darhk

ZariIsTheBest: no one here is normal, I swear to god

gayforray: the fact we’re all adults and some of us have multiple phds and we’re on a time ship but all we ever do is sit in our rooms with cells in our hands really says something about the morale of this place

Lancelot: You can blame Raymond Palmer, the genius engineer who always has pure intentions but doesn’t really take the whole situation into consideration

gayforray: who said I was complaining

notbarryallen: mood

gayforray: those magical fuckers, as Mick so eloquently put it, don’t show up every day, what are we supposed to do anyway

MiniDarhk: it was malice, wasn’t it

MiniDarhk: magical fuckers

Trenchcoat: Mallus

ZariIsTheBest: I love how Mick’s denomination caught on

gayforray: no, actually he’s called Malice, I thought the famous demonologist would know that

gayforray: I did, in case someone’s asking

rayofsunshine: So did I!

rayofsunshine: And to answer your question, yes, it was him. Well, more like your dad. Who let Malice into his body. To save you.

rayofsunshine: But it was our idea first so really it was our fault. Again.

MiniDarhk: did someone ever tell you to shut up, palmer

MiniDarhk: I swear I can hear you talking like you’re actually here, it’s going to give me nightmares

rayofsunshine: Nate did, multiple times.

rayofsunshine: And I’m really sorry about your dad, Nora.

Jaxon: in a “shut up and kiss me” way or like a “shut up ur annoying” way

gayforray: both

Jaxon: aww

notbarryallen: virtual fist bump bro

Jaxon: what for

notbarryallen: being a part of the shipping club

Jaxon: hell yeah

MiniDarhk: in case anyone cares I think the nerds belong together

ZariIsTheBest: I might actually hate you a bit less right now

MiniDarhk: if that’s supposed to make me feel better, it doesn’t, but thanks

rayofsunshine: To be honest, I thought you were actually into me.

MiniDarhk: what, no

MiniDarhk: not in your wildest dreams, palmer

gayforray: so that’s basically a yes then

Lancelot: This one’s speaking from experience

MissTimeBureau: Are you talking to her now, Sara?

MiniDarhk: she is actually still here if you don’t mind

Lancelot: Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s like Ray said, everyone deserves a second chance

Lancelot: And besides, this is just a chat, it’s not like we’re bringing her on board

MissTimeBureau: I suppose that’s true.

MissTimeBureau: You wanna watch a movie later? To get our minds off things.

Lancelot: Sure! But I pick the movie this time

MissTimeBureau: Anything you want, dear. As long as it’s not Star Wars or something like that.

gayforray: hey! star wars are a cinematographic masterpiece

MissTimeBureau: Sorry, you know what I meant.

Lancelot: I was thinking something more romantic

MissTimeBureau: Please, not Titanic. You know I always cry at that one.

Lancelot: You’re a sap, you know that, Sharpe?

Lancelot: But okay I’ll choose sth else

MissTimeBureau: Ugh, I wish it were evening already.

Lancelot: You’re the head of a time-traveling agency, can’t you figure sth outtt

Lancelot: <3

MissTimeBureau: It’s not that simple…

Lancelot: I know

Lancelot: See u later

MissTimeBureau: Love you.

Lancelot: Love you too

MiniStein: You guys are so adorable!

Jaxon: ^^

MiniDarhk: I can’t believe lady time bureau is dating sara lance of all people

rayofsunshine: It’s still a shock for some of us, to be quite honest.

MiniDarhk: and how is your boyfriend, palmer??

rayofsunshine: He’s not my boyfriend.

ZariIsTheBest: yes, he is

rayofsunshine: Not yet. I mean, we haven’t talked about it.

gayforray: why don’t I get a say in this

gayforray: ok, yes, we made out and may have spent the night together but that doesn’t mean we’re dating, all right

notbarryallen: say whatever you will, man

notbarryallen: even mick and constantine and nora darhk see you belong together forever

rayofsunshine: It is rather endearing that Nate showed up in the middle of the conversation only to defend Star Wars…

gayforray: it is a masterpiece, and you’d never have become a scientist and joined this team if it weren’t for it (as we learned first-hand) and we’d never have met so of course I had to defend star wars

gayforray: that’s not even a question, baby

rayofsunshine: I know. I’d do the same.

gayforray: wanna come over here

rayofsunshine: And watch the Empire?

gayforray: yes, watch the empire. and then the return of the jedi

gayforray: beebo want cuddle

rayofsunshine: And popcorn?

gayforray: no, screw the popcorn, it’d just get all over the bed

rayofsunshine: Good point.

MiniDarhk: are the dorks done?

ZariIsTheBest: admit it, they’re also very adorable

Jaxon: ^^

MiniStein: Oh, absolutely.

MiniStein: Reading these messages is better than watching a soap opera.

Jaxon: u watch soap operas?

MiniStein: What, a mother on leave has to find some way to relax and entertain herself when she isn’t spending all of her time on the scientific discovery of the century.

Jaxon: astonishing

MiniStein: Don’t.

Jaxon: sorry

notbarryallen: speaking of mick and constantine, where are they anyway

ZariIsTheBest: last time I checked they were in the kitchen trying to see who’s better at holding his liquor

Lancelot: That can’t end well

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, I’m kinda worried about their health and the pristine state of this ship

notbarryallen: yup, I checked in on them

notbarryallen: they’re well into their 2nd bottle of whiskey

Jaxon: isnt it 2 pm

ZariIsTheBest: what else do you expect from Mick

Jaxon: true

AgentGeek: Oh dear

Lancelot: Gary! Since you’re here, you should maybe get your boyfriend away from Mick, for his own good

AgentGeek: Yeah, that’s probably a good idea

AgentGeek: I’ll be there in a jiffy

MiniDarhk: is this guy palmer’s brother?

AgentGeek: No, why?

MiniDarhk: my nightmare has come true, there’s two of them

Chapter Text



rayofsunshine: Anyone wants to play Monopoly?

grunt: no, games are for kids

MiniDarhk: I’d love to, but, you know, I’m kind of locked in a time prison

rayofsunshine: By choice.

MiniDarhk: doesn’t mean it’s a great way to spend your time

gayforray: the sarcasm is strong with this one

gayforray: count me in

Lancelot: Why are you asking?

rayofsunshine: I’ve been staring at the plans for the new, enhanced blaster for my ATOM suit for way too long and I could use a distraction.

ZariIsTheBest: why don’t you ask Nate to provide a good distraction ;)

rayofsunshine: I’m asking all of you.

notbarryallen: yeah, why should he have all the fun

notbarryallen: I’m in

Lancelot: What the hell, so am I

Lancelot: And Ava

AgentGeek: I have a better idea: why don’t we play dungeons & dragons??

gayforray: no one asked you, Gary

AgentGeek: Can I still play with you?

rayofsunshine: Of course! Everyone’s welcome!

AgentGeek: Great :)

rayofsunshine: I have more board games, too. Just come to my room, and we can agree on something!

Jaxon: thats not fair, some of us aren’t on the waverider

MissTimeBureau: I could take you here if you want, Mr. Jackson.

Jaxon: nah im good but thanks, i don’t wanna go back just for a game of monopoly

MiniStein: To be honest, I could use the distraction too. Ronnie’s been crying since he woke up, and I’m so tired! You don’t know true fatigue until you have a baby.

MiniDarhk: or a demon inside your head

Trenchcoat: I can relate, love. Demons can mess you up quite like nothing else

MiniDarhk: try living with one for almost 20 years

Trenchcoat: I’d rather not to

Trenchcoat: Gary says I have to “socialise” more with you lot and therefore should go play games with you and even though I have no desire to do so I have to ask, will there be alcohol

rayofsunshine: No one says you can’t bring your own. The more the merrier, after all!

Trenchcoat: Gary also promised me sex and a nice breakfast if I go, so it seems I’m convinced. Consider yourselves lucky he’s too adorable when excited

AgentGeek: Aww did you just call me adorable

rayofsunshine: Just don’t have sex here, please.

Trenchcoat: Are you sure about that ;)

rayofsunshine: Yes, very sure. Thank you.

ZariIsTheBest: that goes from literally all of us, thanks

MissTimeBureau: Do you want me to get you, @MiniStein

MiniStein: Only if @MiniDarhk can come too, because it wouldn’t fair if you brought me and left her out because she’s in prison.

MissTimeBureau: Are you… friends?

MiniDarhk: I wouldn’t say friends, but we started talking

MiniDarhk: not much you can do here

MiniStein: We sort of bonded over our dads, you could say.

MiniDarhk: and the names palmer gave us

MiniStein: We’re nickname twins!

MissTimeBureau: Mr. Palmer and Sara said I should do it so I’m going to trust their judgement and go for it despite what my common sense tells me.

MissTimeBureau: I trust one of them would steal my time courier anyway if I didn’t.

MissTimeBureau: Do you have a babysitter, Miss Stein?

MiniStein: Thank you so much, Miss Sharpe! My boyfriend can take care of our son for once too; after all, children should spend time with their fathers.

MiniStein: No offence, Nora.

MiniStein: You know where I live, don’t you?

MiniDarhk: none taken, it was all his fault

MissTimeBureau: Yes, Sara knows where you live.


ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: avalance02.jpeg]

Lancelot: Did you take pictures of us???

gayforray: never thougth id say that but daww you’re such a cute couple

ZariIsTheBest: I also have this

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: steelatom13.jpeg]

gayforray: *gasp* noo you traitor

notbarryallen: do I see 13 pics of them

ZariIsTheBest: actually, I have like 30

rayofsunshine: That’s naughty, Z!

notbarryallen: hey have any of yoou realized,, ava lance would be her name if they got maried

gayforray: omg yeah

gayforray: that’s bomb

Lancelot: Not if we hyphenate or keep our names

notbarryallen: sharpe-lance

notbarryallen: do you haer the pun

gayforray: wow

ZariIsTheBest: what the hell was in that concoction you had, Wally? are you okay?

notbarryallen: grreat

gayforray: me too if anyones asking

Lancelot: On the other hand hyphenating doesn’t sound great anymore

rayofsunshine: Have you actually been thinking about it? Marriage?

Lancelot: We’re not so far in our relationship yet

Lancelot: I guess

Lancelot: Do you know I love Ava

gayforray: hey wally how bad exactlt is the hangover from this thingh

notbarryallen: I guess awful when ur not a speedrsetr

notbarryallen: mine lasts for liek 5 mins haha

Lancelot: Shit

gayforray: rayyy help me please

rayofsunshine: I’m not a bioengineer, I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about it, Nate. You should go to sleep.

gayforray: why don’t u come here and make me fel better now

rayofsunshine: You really should rest and sleep it off, buddy.

gayforray: dont wanna

gayforray: pleas come heeeeeere

Trenchcoat: You boys really can’t handle your drink, can you?

gayforray: you. your to blmae

notbarryallen: sara how r u so sober

Lancelot: I’ve got autocorrect

Lancelot: Because I’m not, that thing really was strong as fuck

Trenchcoat: How am I to blame?

gayforray: you just has to bring alcohol didnt you

gayforray: and then walls had the cocktaill

Trenchcoat: I only brought some whisky, and anyway, Gary convinced me to come so you should blame him rather than me if you need someone to blame for your stupidity

Trenchcoat: Anyhow, gotta dash, I’ve got some duties to perform if you get my meaning

gayforray: someones gonna get dick ;))

ZariIsTheBest: why does alcohol always has to ruin things?

ZariIsTheBest: bless Allah

notbarryallen: bless ur unbreakeable willpower

notbarryallen: do u have mmore pictures

ZariIsTheBest: oh yes, this one’s good

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: steelatom21.jpeg]

MiniStein: So cute.

notbarryallen: kisss

gayforray: why

rayofsunshine: Stop sending pictures of us!

Lancelot: I love the smell of Ava’s hair so much

Lancelot: And she’s so soft I wanna stay like this forever

gayforray: whats going on with sara

MissTimeBureau: Your super strong cocktail, that’s what’s going on. She’s wasted, just the same as you idiots.

MissTimeBureau: Very cuddly, and apparently has no boundaries.

MissTimeBureau: It’s kind of charming, actually.

gayforray: u reallly do love her

MissTimeBureau: Yes, I really do <3

Lancelot: Awww Aves I love you too, so much

Lancelot: I want you to be with me forever

Lancelot: I’m afraid that won’t happen but I still wanna be with you forever

gayforray: I love ray palmer did u kniw

ZariIsTheBest: we did, actually

gayforray: u did??

notbarryallen: u were the one who didnt know it dude

gayforray: the hair. so soft. awesome. nd I love hwo hes super smart and exicted about stuff. and lovess scifi, man. and so strong like wow guy got some bod. and hes cute I wanna eat him and fuc I wanna fuck him too that wuold be nice

gayforray: I think I wanna marry hum

gayforray: wallyy will u be my best man

notbarryallen: yesss man ill be your best man

notbarryallen: I wanna have some chipss

notbarryallen: or, or cake

notbarryallen: but im too wobbly to run right npw I think im gonna go to sleeep

notbarryallen: gnight

ZariIsTheBest: good night, Wally

ZariIsTheBest: jeez, tomorrow morning is gonna be so embarrassing

ZariIsTheBest: it’s embarrassing even now

MiniStein: It’s hilarious to observe science in practice sometimes.

Lancelot: Who cares, we’re the legends

Lancelot: We can go back in time and erase this

Lancelot: Forget it ever happened

ZariIsTheBest: good night, Sara

Lancelot: I confiscated her phone and it will stay that way till morning. Good night.

Lancelot: (Ava speaking)

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, I figured

gayforray: wait can a clone even gert drunk

MiniStein: Interesting question.

ZariIsTheBest: she didn’t drink almost at all, but my guess is that she can

ZariIsTheBest: she may be a clone but I’m pretty sure she’s a normal human being just like the rest of us when it comes down to it

gayforray: where is mini dahkr anyway

gayforray: it’s too hadr to spell darkh fuck

MiniDarhk: mini darhk wants to have nothing to do with you, ever again

gayforray: feelings mutual

MiniDarhk: though watching you get drunk from one shot of that blue stuff was entertaining

MiniDarhk: and so was beating your ass at monopoly

gayforray: no no it wasn’t u have magic! u cheates

MiniDarhk: how do you know constantine didn’t cheat as well? he also has magic

gayforray: I know. hes weird. you’re evil and cant leav us alone even for a game nihgt

MiniDarhk: you invited me, remember?

gayforray: nope that was lilly

gayforray: lily potter?

gayforray: not me

gayforray: “very intoxictaed” ur pronably right my man but its like, the best hihg ever

gayforray: I don’t have to pt this thing down. wont

ZariIsTheBest: is he seriously replying to Ray via phone?

MiniStein: It very much looks that way, haha.

gayforray: Nate says bye.

gayforray: Good night, everyone!

MiniDarhk: I hope he has the worst hangover

ZariIsTheBest: goodnight to the both of you

ZariIsTheBest: is everyone really down? it’s not even that late

MiniStein: Well, I had fun! We should do it again sometimes.

ZariIsTheBest: oh god no

Chapter Text

‘You sure?’ Wally cocked an eyebrow. He held the phial close to his lips, ready to knock its contents back.

Mick popped his eyes. ‘Of course!’ He raised his own phial.

‘That’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?’ said Sara. She nodded slightly in Nate’s direction.

Nate, who was the last one in their little circle, raised his hand and cried, ‘Let’s do it!’

In a practised, synchronised motion, they downed their drinks, despite the repeated warning that this special cocktail was dangerous even for a speedster.

Sara’s hand really wanted to slam the phial against a counter; it was almost a reflex. Though there was none, so she tossed it back to Wally. She winked at Ava, who was sitting on the floor under Ray’s bed alongside Gary and John. They’ve dismissed the dare, passing a bottle of scotch among themselves.

She earned no reaction from her girlfriend. Ava probably still thought that drinking something so strong was immature and irresponsible, and that the captain of the ship should be the opposite, yadda yadda. Sara blew her a kiss.

Supernatural warmth spread through Sara’s chest all the way to her stomach and beyond. Her head spun as the effects of the cocktail kicked in. This really was some strong stuff.

Wally laughed, ‘Woohoo! That’s what I’m talking about, baby!’

‘Yeah, this is amazing!’ she added with a wide grin on her face.

Sara heard the click of a camera as Zari snapped a picture of the four of them. She looked her way, filing the sight of Nora Darhk munching on fabricated crisps on Ray’s bed while sitting next to him away for later, only to notice Mick was staggering.

Her own feet suddenly felt wobblier than they were a second ago. Oh boy. Strong stuff indeed.

Ava was probably right. This really wasn’t going to end well, was it?

Not that Sara would ever regret doing this. Not a chance.

Chapter Text



grunt: what’s going on? why did I wake up in the cargo space?

ZariIsTheBest: good morning, sunshine

rayofsunshine: Did we forget about Mick? We did, didn’t we.

Lancelot: Fuck, my head

ZariIsTheBest: I see Ava gave you your phone back

Lancelot: She’s still asleep

ZariIsTheBest: I think Mick went off sometimes after Nate won the bank and we haven’t seen him since

ZariIsTheBest: right?

grunt: my head hurts, that was some very strong shit right there

Lancelot: So you did remember

Lancelot: I’d rather not to

ZariIsTheBest: told you

ZariIsTheBest: anyway, how is Nate?

rayofsunshine: Fell out of bed sometime around 3 and now is snoring loudly with his mouth open, on the floor, wrapped in my blanket. It’s kind of charming.

rayofsunshine: Or it would be if my feet weren’t frozen.

ZariIsTheBest: so you spent the night together again, how cute

rayofsunshine: Nate’s bed is too small to be cute.

Lancelot: Do you remember any of the stuff he said last night

Lancelot: Because that was spicy

rayofsunshine: He didn’t know what he was saying, that was just the alcohol.

ZariIsTheBest: same about you, Lance

ZariIsTheBest: and are you sure, Ray? the alcohol may have made him more open, but it only makes you lose control over yourself and brings out your deepest thoughts

ZariIsTheBest: in conclusion, you’re screwed ;)

Lancelot: Please, don’t mention it

Lancelot: I need a long cold shower

Lancelot: And I also need to hear what Nate has to say about that

grunt: I read it all

grunt: pretty really has it hard for haircut

rayofsunshine: Actually, I need to hear what Nate has to say about it too. Because there’s no way he could actually

notbarryallen: good morning gang!

notbarryallen: I just finished my morning meditation, what’s up

grunt: I’m gonna roast you kid

notbarryallen: why the negative attitude, mick, life is great

grunt: ggggggggg

notbarryallen: what were you about to say, ray 👀

rayofsunshine: Nothing, never mind.

grunt: tell trenchcoat to keep it quiet

notbarryallen: ohhh no

ZariIsTheBest: are they…?

grunt: fucking? yeah

ZariIsTheBest: I told Gideon while trying to erase the thought from memory

ZariIsTheBest: but you know you could’ve just done it yourself, right?

grunt: great, im gonna go to bed

rayofsunshine: Mick is unusually talkative this morning.

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, I noticed that too

ZariIsTheBest: anyway, my stomach is craving pancakes so I’m gonna get ‘em, with lots of syrup and maybe even real fruits

notbarryallen: think I’m gonna join you

rayofsunshine: Do you think I should wake Nate up?

rayofsunshine: Because he would appreciate the pancakes, but he might be cranky for hours if I wake him up in the middle of a dream. Oh boy.

ZariIsTheBest: throw a pillow at him and see what happens

Trenchcoat: Who was it that ruined a beautiful morning with a beautiful man in my bed

ZariIsTheBest: Mick

ZariIsTheBest: but be careful, if you try and wake him up, he might burn you to a crisp

Trenchcoat: Thanks for the warning, love

ZariIsTheBest: on second thoughts, I might’ve just let him do it

Lancelot: Yeah, you might’ve

ZariIsTheBest: look who’s back

ZariIsTheBest: join us for breakfast?

Lancelot: I need some Advil first

ZariIsTheBest: @rayofsunshine any progress with Nate?

rayofsunshine: Let’s just say throwing a pillow at him worked better than I expected.

Lancelot: Ohhhhhh I see

Lancelot: We won’t be waiting up then ;)

Trenchcoat: They can shag and I can’t, where’s the justice in that

Trenchcoat: I should hex you all

ZariIsTheBest: so you survived, congrats!

Trenchcoat: It was a close call, though

Lancelot: We’ve been rooting for them to get them together for ages and as far as we know it’s their first time, so cut the boys some slack, Constantine

Lancelot: You and Gary get it on like all the time

Trenchcoat: You’re the one to talk, Sara

Lancelot: Shut up if you want breakfast

Trenchcoat: Gary’s promised me one, remember?

Lancelot: I can easily restrict his access to the kitchen

Trenchcoat: Someone’s woken up on the wrong side of the bed

Lancelot: Well someone feels like glass was inside her skull and stabbed her over and over, it’s nothing pleasant, I’ll tell you

Trenchcoat: I’ve had my share of killer hangovers back in the day, trust me. It gets better

Lancelot: Guess you’ve never had speedster juice

Trenchcoat: No, and I don’t intend to try it unless necessary, that thing could fell a demon

Lancelot: It did put Mick and me down, true enough

Trenchcoat: Good one, Lance

Trenchcoat: How’s the pet?

Lancelot: Ava is wonderful, thanks for asking

Lancelot: She’s smart enough not to try dangerous drinks

ZariIsTheBest: please, just stop bickering and come here, John, there are plenty of pancakes when Wally’s helped

ZariIsTheBest: you can take Gary too

Trenchcoat: Now that’s the attitude I can get behind, Z

ZariIsTheBest: nope, we’re not there yet

Trenchcoat: Old habit, I knew a Z once, she was quite skilled at magic too

ZariIsTheBest: you’re awfully chatty today too, what’s gotten into you

Trenchcoat: Gary’s cock, twice

ZariIsTheBest: oh my god why

Trenchcoat: He really likes roleplay in bed

ZariIsTheBest: say any more and I’ll cancel the invitation

Trenchcoat: Alright, I’m coming, but you’re no fun, Z

grunt: did someone say pancakes?

ZariIsTheBest: come and have some with us, Mick, I really don’t want to be alone with him ^^

Lancelot: What, Wally and us don’t count?

ZariIsTheBest: four still isn’t enough

Jaxon: woah that must’ve been some wild party

Jaxon: why didn’t we do this sorta thing when I was on board

Lancelot: Hey, Jax

Lancelot: Probably because you weren’t old enough to drink

Trenchcoat: We didn’t have me

Jaxon: not fair man

ZariIsTheBest: you could’ve been here, your bad

Jaxon: true

Jaxon: but the truth is i had a date

notbarryallen: really?? that’s cool

notbarryallen: are they hot

Jaxon: her name’s carly and were really hitting it off

Jaxon: didn’t wanna say anything but ive got a feeling she might be the one

Lancelot: That’s amazing, Jax! I’m happy for you

ZariIsTheBest: yeah so am I!

Jaxon: thanks

Jaxon: im mostly happy for ray & nate, like, finally

notbarryallen: we all, jax, we all

Jaxon: did my ship survive the party in one piece? lol

ZariIsTheBest: don’t worry, I’m taking good care of her

ZariIsTheBest: I don’t vouch for the integrity of the cargo space though

Jaxon: i heard

Jaxon: it was nice 2 catch up but i gotta go, have work 2 do

Lancelot: Bye for now

notbarryallen: see, zari, jax also uses lol

ZariIsTheBest: you’re never gonna let that go, are you

notbarryallen: not a chance

MiniDarhk: so did the cocktail kill anyone

notbarryallen: nope

ZariIsTheBest: no, they’re all here

MiniDarhk: pity

Chapter Text

First one eye fluttered open, then the other. He was hot; that didn’t bother him as much. He liked hot. But he was also sore all over and had a knot in his stomach that signified he’d had too much to drink.

He hasn’t felt that way for aeons.

Where was he, anyway? He tried to sit up. His boned crackled, and there was a whirlwind inside of his skull. He closed his eyes and opened them again. He was trapped inside something large and made of metal.

Ah, the Waverider. After a glance or two, he recognised the hard boxes on his sides. Next to him laid his old phone, and a tiny blue dot constantly blinked in the left corner of the display.

He didn’t bother reading whatever the team were talking about. He just typed a message, somewhat confused about the situation he was currently in: what’s going on? why did I wake up in the cargo space?

He should also try and get up. Probably. He needed food, or a drink.

With some difficulty, he stood up, phone still in hand. It vibrated with a reply, good morning, sunshine. Not very helpful. Then it buzzed some more as people joined in the conversation.

Mick didn’t care. He just needed food. He waved the door open and walked in the general direction of the kitchen.

Then it hit him. The night before, Haircut had wanted to play some sort of a stupid board game for children, which he’d had no intention of doing, but somewhere along the way Trenchcoat mentioned booze, and of course, that lured him to Haircut’s cabin. He wouldn’t say no to a drink or three.

Mick wasn’t even halfway through his journey across the ship when his head spun. It was daggers and rocks. He remembered some more.

my head hurts, that was some strong shit right there, he texted, not fully aware why.

His stomach rumbled, and he growled. This called for five doughnuts, or maybe six, and definitely some beer; nothing fixes a hangover as well as drinking some more. And since there was nothing much he could do, he scrolled up the entire conversation from last night and began reading. Just for the laughs.

It was sickening, sometimes, but he liked reading it anyway.



A warm body beside her, legs tangled together, their breathing in perfect synchrony: the way Sara woke up couldn’t be more perfect. If only the nasty throbbing in her head that seemed to increase the moment she moved to check the time faded.

Fuck. Fuck, this was disastrous. Sara could drink men under the table and never be sick, but this right there was an ugly present she never thought she’d get. Ugh.

Still, she was the captain and had to face it with energy that would give example to her team, even if she felt nothing but contempt. And regret. Definitely that. She was never ever going to drink Cisco’s super juice again, not in this lifetime.

That being said, she reached for the mobile on Ava’s nightstand and typed the one sentence that was echoing inside her head, fuck, my head.

She shifted a bit to look at her girlfriend (how she loved that word), who, as Sara quickly discovered, was still in a deep slumber. Lucky girl.

She read what her team, or some of them, had to say. She didn’t want to get up and smell the coffee yet. In her bed, next to Ava, she was at least a bit comfortable. She occasionally contributed to the ongoing conversation, and it was fun until Zari so delicately reminded her of some things she’d told everyone last night.

After that, Sara decided there was no point avoiding the inevitable and gently extracted herself from the tangle of limbs to go and get the cold shower she’d said she needed. Because if she were to function as a human being any time soon, she really did.



Head thrown back against the pillow, legs wrapped round a body; they moved in perfect rhythm with every stroke. His hand gripped Gary’s side tighter. He felt the light kisses on his shoulder and neck and breast, and he felt he was close. His fingers squeezed and maybe left a mark.

‘Oh fuck yes, love, go deeper,’ John cried and let out a breath. Gary moaned, and it was the sexiest sound he’s ever heard. ‘Bloody hell, Gary. That’s it, I’m gonna–’

‘Good morning, Mr Constantine, I’ve been told to tell you to keep it quiet.’

‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’ he shouted louder than before, to make sure whichever wanker it was who complained heard it. And then everything was just too much and he exploded on the inside, and Gary screamed, who cares about the universe when they could have this, and John could feel it inside him. He felt like he could feel everything.

‘That was,’ Gary gasped, ‘wow.’ He collapsed on top of John, the mess be damned.

‘Yeah, just about.’ He smiled and kissed Gary until they were breathless again. Gary slipped out of him and lay next to him, eyes closed.

‘Gideon,’ said John loudly into the air, ‘tell the crew this, and this exactly: fuck off, you seeds of a filthy rat.’

Right now, he really hated them, and Gary’s laugh helped not a bit.



To throw or not to throw, that was the question.

throw a pillow at him and see what happens. Easier said than done, Zari. Firstly, he’d have to give up the only piece of bedding he still had left, and secondly, he really wasn’t sure about the outcome of this experiment.

Staring at the ceiling to get his thoughts in order turned out to be less helpful than expected, too, and Ray figured waiting until Nate wakes up on his own would bear no fruit, either. He knew by now that Nate was a proper night owl, unlike himself.

Now add a hangover from a cocktail intended for speedsters.

He checked the chat again, but the conversation has shifted to Constantine being mad at Rory for ruining his morning. Of course they wouldn’t care about Ray Palmer and his dilemma.

They only seemed to care about getting him to sleep with Nate, which, technically, he’s already done more times than you could count on one hand. You know, in the literal sense.

(To be fair, to be really really fair with himself, he did want that too, but he didn’t want to rush things, but then again, he’s had feelings for Nate pretty much since their first meeting, oh boy, he’s going to have a migraine,)

Conclusion: on a count of three, he took the pillow and did as Zari said.

Nate stopped snoring and grunted. It lasted a minute. ‘Where am I,’ he asked, voice hoarse and not yet fully awakened.

‘On the floor of your room,’ answered Ray, leaning over the edge of the bed Nate had fallen out of at night and never come back to. ‘It’s 8:47 in the morning.’

‘Fuck,’ was among the reactions Ray suspected he might get.

‘Zari’s making pancakes, and I thought you wouldn’t want to miss those.’

Nate sat up in a flash. ‘Did you say pancakes?’ He shot his eyes open. ‘Oh hey, babe.’

Ray smiled at that. So it was one of the better days. Great!

‘Hey. Are you okay?’

‘Hungover as fuck. Hurts,’ Nate said so eloquently and continued to think for a minute. ‘Oh no. Ohhhh no. What did I do?’

Ray kind of hoped he wouldn’t need to address the elephant in the room so soon. He’s always been too optimistic for his own good.

‘Oh, nothing, really, you just cuddled a lot and then fell out of bed,’ he laughed.

Nate wouldn’t take the bait. ‘No, I meant, I said things. Didn’t I?’

‘Well,’ Ray unlocked the mobile laying on the mattress and handed it to Nate. That was easier than having to spell all of the things aloud. ‘See for yourself.’

He watched Nate scroll and his brow furrow deeper. The tip of his tongue peeked out of his mouth. ‘Oh my God,’ he said eventually. The texts rendered him speechless for the better part of two minutes. ‘Oh my God, shit, this is embarrassing,’ he added then.


He gave the mobile back, and Ray took it with a brush of fingers against Nate’s. They were warm, and the touch left sparks on his skin.

Ray didn’t want to talk about it, not anymore, not to begin with. So he said, ‘Don’t worry about it, Nate, you don’t have to say anything, it’s okay.’

‘I’m so sorry, Ray. Really, I am. I didn’t mean to say all that.’ Nate gazed him in the eyes as he untangled himself from the duvet and slowly, staggeringly got up. He lowered himself next to Ray on the (still very small) bed.

His eyes spoke of sincerity, and love, and too much speedster juice.

Ray took his hand. He took a deep breath, because he was going to need it. ‘Well, I guess it’s a bit early for the marriage part, but I think we could do something about the sex part.’

Something inside his belly fluttered when he said that.

‘Just say fuck, Ray,’ Nate teased.


‘One day.’ He leant down to kiss him, and it tasted like desire and promises.

And awful morning breath, too, but they let it slide for this one instant.

Then Ray’s mobile pinged because someone tagged him in the conversation. Oh fuck.



Zari was, by all means, having the time of her life.

She was never a people person, or a team person, but damn, these texts really were something. If she had a bowl of popcorn to munch on while replying to her hung-over team-mates’ aches and complaints, she’d be standing at paradise’s door.

If she ever believed there was a paradise.

She had a stash of thick, sugary pancakes with maple syrup, forest fruits, and cream to satisfy her needs, though, and that was currently enough, because those were the next best thing.

She moaned with delight as she took a bite, eyes flitting over the incoming texts. ‘These really turned out great, didn’t they? And we didn’t even use the fabricator,’ she said to Wally, who was enthusiastically swallowing one pancake after another right next to her.

‘God, yeah. The others don’t know what they’re missing.’

‘How can someone think sex is better than this, I can’t believe.’

‘Well, someone might argue about that,’ said a voice behind her, which Zari immediately filed as Sara’s.

She turned round to greet her, mouth full with another forkful of pancake. The captain, despite her efforts to hide it, walked somewhat haggardly and fought to keep her eyes open. So that was what the infamous cocktail did to people.

‘Morning, captain. How was the shower?’ Sara’s hair was dripping wet on her grey T-shirt.

She grimaced. ‘Ugh, don’t talk about that. Any of that. Please,’ she said when she pulled a random chair and sat down, mobile right next to her on the table.


Wally grinned. Then Ava walked in too, still in what Zari assumed was her pyjamas. She dropped a kiss on top of Sara’s head and murmured something unintelligible before crossing over to the drink machine to get a cup of strong coffee.

Zari’s hands were free for the moment, so she asked Ray whether he’s had any progress with his snoring boyfriend dilemma.

Let’s just say throwing a pillow at him worked better than I expected, was the answer she got, and a smirk found its way on her lips. Then Sara actually engaged in the conversation; more delicious pancakes for Zari.

She gulped the exchange between Constantine and Sara like it was a juicy tabloid article, at least until it was too much and she had to intervene.

Then she was the one bickering with him. The story of her (recent) life.

Oh, Ray Palmer, you innocent, naïve man, you had no idea what you created.

It wasn’t until John dropped a mandatory sexual jab she stopped talking and rather minded her abundant breakfast and the actual, corporeal people round the table. But of course, Jax had to join the conversation. In that instant, all three occupants of the table had phones in their hands and talked virtually rather than in reality.

Their blissful bubble was interrupted by one very grumpy Mick Rory, ‘Where are the pancakes you promised?’

‘Right here, Mick, come and join us,’ said Sara, sipping at a coffee Ava brought her, already feeling better.

‘There’s enough room for everyone,’ Wally offered. He was on his seventh pancake: speedster metabolism was a bitch. Zari was eating her third, wishing she had room in her stomach for at least one more.

Mick sat down with a huff, and then their peace was over, because everyone else began pouring into the kitchen as well, Constantine with Gary in tow and even Ray and Nate, beaming like two light bulbs and holding hands.

Upon seeing the two of them, Wally glowed. ‘Sooooo,’ he raised an eyebrow.

Nate whispered, ‘Let’s just say the alcohol is literally the last thing on my mind now.’

‘That good, eh?’ John patted Ray on his shoulder. He already had a coffee in his hand.

Mick glowered at John and Ray both. He wasn’t going to forgive them for ruining his sleep any time soon, it seemed. This was going to be hilarious.

Zari contemplated having the fourth pancake. She dug in, because she deserved it this morning. She and Wally made about 40 of them, so there was enough for everyone in any case.

‘Well–’ Ray began, but Nate cut him off and pushed him forward. ‘Nope, we’re not doing this. I’m famished.’

‘Um, excuse me, Mr Rory, but could you move by a seat? I’d like to sit next to John,’ Gary chirped and made everyone remember he was there too.

Mick, being his usual self, growled a no and propped his legs against the table.

‘Don’t worry, love, you can sit on my lap if you want.’

Yeah, just a typical morning with the Legends. Zari smiled and secretly loved it.

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: zari was playing some music and there was this song that went “demons are a girl’s best friend”

notbarryallen: made me think of you @MiniDarhk

MiniDarhk: do you want me to come over and strangle you with magic?

notbarryallen: I didn’t mean any bad, just thought it was funny

MiniDarhk: it was a bit funny

MiniDarhk: so how goes caging your magical fuckers, did you screw up time again?

Lancelot: Nope, this time we’re the responsible heroes

ZariIsTheBest: so far

Lancelot: Wonder when it’ll all go south

ZariIsTheBest: things have been suspiciously calm lately

MiniDarhk: what did you guys do??

rayofsunshine: We’ve been asking ourselves the same question.

grunt: sounds to me like you’re complaining, haircut

grunt: why are you complaining

Trenchcoat: I for one am glad to have a bit of free time on my hands

grunt: yeah, more time for beer and movies

MiniDarhk: I could use the time stone again and wreak some havoc in the 18th century if you want

rayofsunshine: Thanks for the offer, but we’d rather you wouldn’t.

notbarryallen: hey ray what’s going on in your love nest

gayforray: [image attached: toomuchworktodo.jpeg]

gayforray: nothing fun

Lancelot: You’re literally on the same bed together and you’re reading history books??

rayofsunshine: Why, what’s wrong with that? Someone has to do it when none of you volunteered.

gayforray: ^^

gayforray: a werewolf might appear in early ming dynasty any minute now, what do you know

Trenchcoat: Everything’s wrong with that, boys

Lancelot: I’m sure Zari would happily assume the task for you

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, sure, let me do everything when we have Gideon

Lancelot: Or that

Lancelot: But, you know, you do nothing but play video games with Wally, unlike the rest of us

ZariIsTheBest: well, in that case, ask Mick to search history

grunt: why me, I hate history

ZariIsTheBest: you’re not doing anything all day

Lancelot: And besides, you were Chronos, remember? Excellent in searching history

grunt: what are you up to anyway

Lancelot: Let’s just say Ava and I are enjoying a little time-out in the bath

gayforray: so that’s why the bathroom’s been occupied for nearly an hour, great

Trenchcoat: Can I join you?

Lancelot: NO

MissTimeBureau: NO

Lancelot: Go find Gary and do whatever it is you’re always doing together

Lancelot: No, I don’t want to know

AgentGeek: He’s teaching me magic

MissTimeBureau: Ugh

AgentGeek: No, I mean, literal magic. Spells. It’s so awesome

ZariIsTheBest: I bet you’re awkward

AgentGeek: A bit, yeah… but I’m making progress!

MiniDarhk: look, we have a newbie warlock, that’s cute

Trenchcoat: He’s not half so bad, I gotta say

Trenchcoat: And it usually ends with a bit of the other kind of magic, so I reckon I’m not a horrible teacher ;)

MissTimeBureau: Still don’t want to know.

rayofsunshine: Guys, really, it’s okay, we’re gonna wrap it up anyway and watch Doctor Who again.

gayforray: seems like no monsters showed up anywhere lately so let’s just chill

notbarryallen: doctor who and chill, yeah??

notbarryallen: 😏

gayforray: what do you say, baby

rayofsunshine: You’ll know if you forget about this invention of mine for a while.

rayofsunshine: Which isn’t something I thought I’d ever say but here we are.

gayforray: you didn’t have an incredibly handsome boyfriend before

ZariIsTheBest: so is it official now 👀

MiniDarhk: 👀

notbarryallen: 👀

rayofsunshine: Again with the eyes, guys?

notbarryallen: you ain’t getting rid of us

rayofsunshine: It’s official.

Lancelot: Yay, I’m happy for you guys!

MissTimeBureau: Likewise.

MissTimeBureau: Now put your phone down and come back to me, Lance.

ZariIsTheBest: anyone else feels like throwing a party?

grunt: I’m always up for a party

notbarryallen: meee

gayforray: don’t start a party without us

ZariIsTheBest: never

Jaxon: id come to this one

MiniStein: If it’ll be anything like Monopoly night, I don’t think it’s wise…

MiniStein: But I’d come anyway :)

ZariIsTheBest: no more alcohol at our parties, though, yeah?

gayforray: maybe just a little

notbarryallen: dw I won’t bring my cocktail anymore, seeing what it did to you lightweights

MiniDarhk: do you really think throwing a party for palmer is a good idea?

notbarryallen: no, but it’s also for nate, so

rayofsunshine: I can appreciate a party, too!

grunt: but your nerd party is a bit different from ours

rayofsunshine: I can have fun at a normal one, with lots of alcohol, loud music, dancing, women…

rayofsunshine: I can!

notbarryallen: sure you can, man

ZariIsTheBest: and anyway, it wouldn’t be like that

ZariIsTheBest: more like some dancing in the kitchen before we go to bed, or something

notbarryallen: I can help you set it up

gayforray: wait, you’re serious about this?

Jaxon: i am if you are

notbarryallen: sure, this is definitely sth worth celebrating

ZariIsTheBest: now don’t mind us, put your phones down and go back to doctor who & chill ;))

rayofsunshine: Speaking of, have any of you ever noticed we’re basically living in a Doctor Who episode?

rayofsunshine: Time travel, fighting monsters, living on a time ship that’s alive, even the console on the bridge is very alike the TARDIS. Is this a coincidence?? I don’t think so.

rayofsunshine: As a boy, I always dreamed of being the Doctor’s companion but never thought it could ever be real. Look at me now!

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, we get it, Ray, and we heard you the 100 times you said it before

MiniDarhk: are you really such a nerd or are you practicing what to say?

notbarryallen: he really is a geek but then again so are the rest of us ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

gayforray: ^^

gayforray: hey guys, who’s your favorite doctor?

gayforray: mine is 11 but I also really like 7 and 9

rayofsunshine: Heathen.

rayofsunshine: The best Doctor of all times is Four.

notbarryallen: I haven’t seen much of it but I like 10

ZariIsTheBest: 15

gayforray: WAIT

ZariIsTheBest: oh yeah

gayforray: you’re from the future so you know who the next doctors are

ZariIsTheBest: not telling you

rayofsunshine: This ship is also from the future, so does that mean we can watch future TV too?

gayforray: wait we can watch it here can’t we

gayforray: sorry :p

gayforray: OH, MY, GOD

rayofsunshine: There is all of it. All of Doctor Who ever made. And Star Wars, too. I feel like I’m dreaming. There’s all of it.

rayofsunshine: Ow, Nate, that wasn’t necessary.

gayforray: wanted to make sure this isn’t a dream

gayforray: okay @Lancelot I’m afraid you won’t be hearing from us any time soon

rayofsunshine: Anyone care to join us?

ZariIsTheBest: woah guys isn’t that like against the rules of time travel

Lancelot: I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t watch future TV, Ray

gayforray: the Waverider is from 2166, so it’s technically the past in Gideon’s view, right? I think it’s safe enough

gayforray: I mean, the ship archive says doctor who was canceled for good in 2083, that’s a pretty long way from 2166

ZariIsTheBest: wait, what, that’s spoilers

AgentGeek: what is goING ON

AgentGeek: Your ship has all of Doctor Who?? From the future?? Can I watch

MiniDarhk: wow, seriously wow. the safety of history depends on a bunch of geeks obsessing over a time travel show while they’re the ones actually traveling in time

MiniDarhk: but, as much as it pains me to admit it, 15 rocks, and 13 too

ZariIsTheBest: If you were here, I’d give you a high five

MiniDarhk: #girlpower

gayforray: …is 15 female?

MiniDarhk: black female

ZariIsTheBest: I was so gay for her oh my god

gayforray: this isn’t fair, both of you

Lancelot: Okay, I’m interested

notbarryallen: I bet

MissTimeBureau: Oh no, you’re gonna leave me for her, are you?

Lancelot: Maybe

Lancelot: A girl’s bound to be curious

MissTimeBureau: I knew this would happen.

Lancelot: Yeah, between the two of us, this really couldn’t last. It was a matter of time before I found another smartass time traveler

Lancelot: Guys I hate to ruin your perfect day in bed that would inevitably end up in several make-out sessions

Lancelot: But can Ava and I watch too

rayofsunshine: Oof, for a minute there I was worried what you were about to say.

rayofsunshine: And sure you can! Why don’t we take it to the library, anyway?

gayforray: noo I’m so comfortable here

Lancelot: Come on, Ray, did you really think I would say there was a werewolf

Lancelot: Or that I’d break up with Ava

MissTimeBureau: Never.

Lancelot: <3

notbarryallen: does all this texting mean you’re out of the tub now?

MissTimeBureau: Bathroom’s all yours.

notbarryallen: great 👍🏾

AgentGeek: I’m still very much freaking out about this but can I maybe watch too?

Trenchcoat: Doctor who is a British icon, surely you can’t start without me

rayofsunshine: At last, I found something John and I can agree on!

Lancelot: I should’ve known you were a fan too, John

Trenchcoat: Obviously

Trenchcoat: Us Brits grew up on it

rayofsunshine: Not just you.

ZariIsTheBest: ^^

MiniDarhk: ^^

MissTimeBureau: Really?

MiniDarhk: why is that surprising? I had a nice childhood before a demon took over my body

ZariIsTheBest: and you still watched even when it did, I’m really starting to like you

MiniDarhk: how did you watch, anyway, being on the run from argus and all?

ZariIsTheBest: I only watched it when I was a kid, I wasn’t on the run then

MiniDarhk: makes sense

gayforray: you know what? I suggest everyone takes a pillow and blanket or something and joins us here for our rewatch

gayforray: it’s kinda mandatory with us being time travelers and all

Trenchcoat: What episode are you on?

gayforray: blink

Trenchcoat: Ohh that’s a good one

AgentGeek: It’s my favorite!

ZariIsTheBest: ???

gayforray: season 3 episode 10

ZariIsTheBest: right, it’s one of the old ones

rayofsunshine: 2007 isn’t that old.

MiniDarhk: it is when you’re from the future

MiniDarhk: I was 5 in 2007, wow

gayforray: so you’re 16 in 2018? no wonder you did what you did

gayforray: (Zari is 2 but shh)

ZariIsTheBest: shh at you Heywood

MiniDarhk: ^^

Lancelot: Alright we’re coming to your room

ZariIsTheBest: so am I, I guess, I don’t have anything else to do anyway

ZariIsTheBest: and I won’t pass an opportunity to see Ray and Nate be all cute together ;)

Trenchcoat: Count Gary and me in, this is Blink we’re talking about

notbarryallen: ^^

notbarryallen: gotta say I lowkey had a crush on martha

notbarryallen: also jack

gayforray: Wally???

notbarryallen: yeahh

notbarryallen: I’ve been thinking about it lately

notbarryallen: I think I might actually be panro demisexual

rayofsunshine: That’s me!

rayofsunshine: I mean the pan part.

rayofsunshine: That’s great!

Lancelot: Yeah!

Lancelot: Honestly, what a crew we are, five bisexuals, two pansexuals and two lesbians against magical creatures

notbarryallen: don’t forget the unicorn

gayforray: we should all like go to pride or something

gayforray: the first pride parade after the Stonewall riots, in 1970

ZariIsTheBest: or the biggest one ever, in 2019 New York

Lancelot: That’s next year

ZariIsTheBest: so?

Lancelot: We shouldn’t time travel there, but I agree we should go

rayofsunshine: Let’s wait until 2019 comes naturally; in the meantime, I support Nate’s idea.

notbarryallen: awesome

grunt: I’m not doing this

Lancelot: Why not, Mick?

grunt: it’s lame

grunt: I don’t want to march in a parade that celebrates gay people

rayofsunshine: You should be proud of who you are, Mick. The pride is for all of us, for our community, and it supports LGBT and human rights. It’s important.

rayofsunshine: But I guess a thug like you doesn’t care about that.

grunt: I don’t need a parade to know who I am

ZariIsTheBest: you went to one before and something happened

grunt: nothing happened

ZariIsTheBest: I knew it

grunt: Snart made me go once

Lancelot: Leonard was??

grunt: said he was queen

Lancelot: You mean queer

grunt: yeah

gayforray: and you two were together?

grunt: you don’t even know who snart was, pretty

gayforray: I met Leo

gayforray: also a very gay dude

rayofsunshine: How did I not know that? It makes so much sense.

grunt: Snart and I weren’t together

grunt: anymore

grunt: it was a long time ago

ZariIsTheBest: this is interesting news

Lancelot: Indeed

Lancelot: Hey, Mick, do you want to watch doctor who with us?

grunt: never watched that

rayofsunshine: Okay, you have to come. You can bring beer!

grunt: fine, but I’m not going to pride with you

notbarryallen: you’ll change your mind yet

notbarryallen: maybe you could find a nice bi girl or gay guy and stop being single forever

grunt: I like being single

notbarryallen: ok I respect that

Trenchcoat: So are you lot coming here or not?

notbarryallen: I’ll be right there

AgentGeek: That was fast

notbarryallen: still a speedster

Chapter Text



Lancelot: I don’t mean this in a bad way, but why is Nora on board?

MiniDarhk: movies

ZariIsTheBest: Nora and I are catching up on 2030s shows

Lancelot: Okay

Lancelot: At this point, she could just stay here

MiniDarhk: are you offering, lance

Lancelot: I don’t know what demon got into my head, because I’m actually considering it

MiniDarhk: isn’t your girlfriend gonna be mad at you

Lancelot: Probably, but I know she can’t resist me when I smile and kiss her hard

notbarryallen: wait, you’re really watching future tv?

ZariIsTheBest: again, it’s the past for us

rayofsunshine: Why isn’t there a swimming pool aboard the Waverider?

Trenchcoat: Why

rayofsunshine: I could really use one right now.

gayforray: tell me about it

notbarryallen: ???

gayforray: we were sparring in the cargo space

rayofsunshine: I’m too sweaty and aching for my own good.

Lancelot: Is that so?

gayforray: I can see the eyes emoji there

gayforray: not like that

gayforray: though we were close once when we ended up on the floor

gayforray: it was hot

rayofsunshine: Yeah.

rayofsunshine: That’s another thing we could do in a swimming pool.

ZariIsTheBest: gross

Trenchcoat: You’ve never had a shag in a pool?

ZariIsTheBest: I’m ace

Trenchcoat: So you’ve never had sex?

ZariIsTheBest: that’s not what I’m saying

ZariIsTheBest: why can’t Ray change the topic again, this is making me uncomfortable

Trenchcoat: Sorry

ZariIsTheBest: did you actually apologize?

gayforray: he’s British

ZariIsTheBest: true

Lancelot: @ZariIsTheBest @MiniDarhk you guys good, do you want any snacks or something?

MiniDarhk: since you’ve mentioned it, I could do with a veggie wrap

ZariIsTheBest: and a halal wrap for me

grunt: I want a wrap with pork and bacon and lots of cheese

Lancelot: Okay, anyone else wants me to be their personal servant and bring them dinner?

Lancelot: I’m not cooking it though

notbarryallen: we wouldn’t ask that of you

ZariIsTheBest: we’ve all been victims of your cooking skills, it’s an experience you don’t want to do again, no offence

Lancelot: None taken, I’m a much better assassin than I am a cook, all I can make are sandwiches

rayofsunshine: I’m actually starving, the fighting really wore me out.

gayforray: but we can get our own food, thanks, won’t bother the ship mom unlike someone

Lancelot: Ship mom?

ZariIsTheBest: you kinda are

ZariIsTheBest: and you asked so I thought it was okay

Lancelot: It is, really

notbarryallen: I’m always hungry so a bucket of chicken wings would be amazing, sara

Lancelot: Yes, sir

AgentGeek: We don’t need anything, as we’re already dining

Lancelot: Yeah, on chocolate cake, I can see

Trenchcoat: Are you judging, Sara?

Lancelot: Nope

notbarryallen: I could use a piece of chocolate cake, spare one for the speedster?

Trenchcoat: Sure, have at it, lad

notbarryallen: thanks, john

ZariIsTheBest: so he’s not wizard anymore? progress

Trenchcoat: Don’t remind him

notbarryallen: I actually started to like you

Trenchcoat: That’s only natural with all this charm, and having saved your arses multiple times

grunt: british spelling is weird

gayforray: true

gayforray: but the accent is so sexy on girls

gayforray: and guys too if they’re not Constantine

AgentGeek: I beg to differ

ZariIsTheBest: oh yeah you forgot Gary’s got a thing for his accent

Trenchcoat: For my everything

Trenchcoat: I’ve got a thing for him too

gayforray: you two are… more than just fuck-buddies?

Trenchcoat: Strangely so, yes, I didn’t exactly plan it but I really like the dungeons and dragons obsessed geek Gary Green who’s also a bloody good agent and you should appreciate him more

AgentGeek: That was so sweet, John <3

AgentGeek: I really like you too, you know

Trenchcoat: Want to show me how much you like me?

AgentGeek: When we’re done with this, it would be a shame to let this cake go to waste

notbarryallen: and they’re at it again

notbarryallen: I wouldn’t worry, I’d be happy to offer to finish the cake off

Lancelot: Burritos incoming, you’re welcome

ZariIsTheBest: you’re an angel

MiniDarhk: thanks, captain

grunt: thanks blondie

ZariIsTheBest: this is great, bless Gideon

notbarryallen: thanks for the wings

MiniDarhk: time bureau doesn’t have such great food, seriously, can I stay

AgentGeek: I know, right? We all get the same food, it’s not just you

MiniDarhk: great to know

MiniDarhk: lance, you’re the director’s girlfriend, maybe you could suggest improving the meal plan?

Lancelot: What’s in it for me?

MiniDarhk: I’ll promise I’ll be good

rayofsunshine: Nonsense, you’re already good. You’ve helped us a couple of times, and you haven’t done anything even remotely evil for a while. And besides, can a bad person eat a veggie wrap and play Monopoly with us?

MiniDarhk: shut up before I embarrass you in front of everyone, palmer

rayofsunshine: You wouldn’t.

MiniDarhk: I would

rayofsunshine: Consider me shut-up.

Lancelot: Well, maybe I won’t have to ask her to improve the meal plan, because maybe you won’t go back

Lancelot: I said maybe, I still have to think this through

Trenchcoat: Another magician could be useful

notbarryallen: and when mick can be here, why couldn’t nora

MiniDarhk: 😚

rayofsunshine: I vote for her staying

Lancelot: I take that into account, but there’s one more tiny problem, we don’t have enough sleeping quarters since one was turned into a gym

ZariIsTheBest: I think I could share mine

ZariIsTheBest: @MiniDarhk you don’t snore, do you?

MiniDarhk: god, no

MiniDarhk: you’d really do that?

ZariIsTheBest: it’s not like I can watch ‘30s shows with someone else, we’ve decided it’s against the rules of time travel

ZariIsTheBest: and I was okay to share with Wally, so I think we’re good

ZariIsTheBest: you wouldn’t kill me in my sleep, would you?

MiniDarhk: depends

ZariIsTheBest: on what

MiniDarhk: does your taste in movies include romcoms

ZariIsTheBest: not unless they’re wlw

MiniDarhk: good

MiniDarhk: I fancy some hot chocolate, want some?

ZariIsTheBest: sure

gayforray: what just happened

notbarryallen: do we want zari and nora to end up together too

ZariIsTheBest: Wally, no

notbarryallen: what, I’m getting a bit of a gay vibe from that

ZariIsTheBest: don’t say another word

Lancelot: Wally’s right

Lancelot: But I’m not sure if I’d want that to happen

ZariIsTheBest: thank you, sane person

gayforray: you were so adamant about getting me and Ray together (thanks for that, btw), but here you don’t do anything, I’m in awe

ZariIsTheBest: imagine my best threatening glare

MiniDarhk: you can add the feeling of gasping for air as I hold your throat

gayforray: ok, I give up, but seriously, guys

notbarryallen: that’s a mood

MiniDarhk: how’s the sandwich, heywood, are you choking on it yet

gayforray: Ray makes the best sandwiches in the world

rayofsunshine: Thanks, Nate <3

rayofsunshine: I still need a swim, though.

Lancelot: Just get in the tub and pretend it’s a really small pool

rayofsunshine: It’s too small for two people.

Lancelot: Ava and I fit in just fine

notbarryallen: you’re bathing together now @rayofsunshine @gayforray 👀

gayforray: *showering

gayforray: saves the water

rayofsunshine: We’re huge fans of ecology, you know.

ZariIsTheBest: sure

MiniDarhk: your infinite excuses are adorable

Lancelot: Just admit you can’t get your hands off each other

gayforray: busted

rayofsunshine: Really, though, it does save the water on top of being a private place to make out.

Lancelot: I second that

ZariIsTheBest: this chocolate is amazing, Nora

MiniDarhk: the one thing my dad got right

notbarryallen: again with the texting in the same room

ZariIsTheBest: my mouth is full

ZariIsTheBest: of chocolate, you pervs

notbarryallen: I didn’t say anything

ZariIsTheBest: but you were about to

Lancelot: I see Ray and Nate disappeared

MiniDarhk: they weren’t in the kitchen anymore when I was there

notbarryallen: do I hear music from the bathroom?

MiniDarhk: what’s going on in there

Lancelot: What music

notbarryallen: idk, can’t recognize it

notbarryallen: sth upbeat

MiniDarhk: someone’s kinky

ZariIsTheBest: I love the two of them but I don’t wanna know what’s happening behind that door

ZariIsTheBest: where’s Ava, anyway?

Lancelot: Working :(

notbarryallen: too bad

Lancelot: Since everyone seems to be busy, do you want to practice martial arts or something, Wally?

Lancelot: In normal speed

notbarryallen: why not, I haven’t done it in a while

notbarryallen: @grunt want to join us?

Lancelot: I guess not, it’s been two minutes

notbarryallen: he’s probably taking an after-dinner nap

Lancelot: That’s his loss, at least we’ll have more fun

Chapter Text



gayforray: who’s ready to see mamma mia here we go again?

notbarryallen: I’ve been looking forward to that for a year!!!

Lancelot: I didn’t know you liked musicals, Nate

gayforray: musicals? I LOVE them

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, you haven’t seen him dance around the kitchen and sing off-key after he watched moana?

Lancelot: Nope, I missed that

Lancelot: Such a shame

grunt: I hate musicals

gayforray: well, you haven’t seen this one, Mick

rayofsunshine: It’s ABBA!

grunt: abba… wasn’t that the horrible song about napoleon

gayforray: Waterloo!!!

grunt: thanks pretty, now it’s in my head again

gayforray: sorry

ZariIsTheBest: didn’t you use the memory flasher to erase the song?

grunt: that was in your time loop reality

ZariIsTheBest: right, the Waterloo mission was the one I was stuck in Gideon’s mainframe after

ZariIsTheBest: I remember Ray always tripped over on those platforms, it was kind of hilarious

rayofsunshine: That really happened, and it wasn’t nice.

Trenchcoat: I also hate musicals

AgentGeek: No!!!

AgentGeek: You’ve disappointed me, John

Trenchcoat: Sorry, love, but I don’t see the point in them

Trenchcoat: And it doesn’t make sense how everyone always knows the song and dance moves unless they were cursed or something

Lancelot: John does have a point

gayforray: yeah, of course it doesn’t make sense, but it’s not supposed to, it’s just supposed to be fun

AgentGeek: ^^

gayforray: the central city theater is screening it at 7 today, who’s going with me?

MiniDarhk: why go to the theater when you can watch every movie ever made on the ship

gayforray: for the experience, Nora

rayofsunshine: Yes.

MiniDarhk: ok

MiniDarhk: in that case, I’m going

notbarryallen: me too, obviously

ZariIsTheBest: count me in

rayofsunshine: Needless to say, I’m going too.

Lancelot: Ok, I won’t break the party, and I can’t miss the fun

AgentGeek: Same

MissTimeBureau: Sara and I haven’t been to the movies together for ages, it’s a date <3

Lancelot: Making out in the cinema? Always

MiniStein: Can I join you, guys?

gayforray: of course, Lily!

gayforray: what about you @Jaxon

Jaxon: mamma mia? ok why not but can i bring carly, we were supposed to go out today

gayforray: fine by me

rayofsunshine: I’d love to meet her!

AgentGeek: This isn’t fair, everyone’s bringing a date, and my boyfriend hates musicals

ZariIsTheBest: I’m not bringing anyone, we can be single buddies

MiniDarhk: and me too

notbarryallen: I think we’ve established you two don’t count

ZariIsTheBest: I beg your pardon?

notbarryallen: you stick together now

MiniDarhk: but we’re still single, that does count. do your math

ZariIsTheBest: Wally’s single too, not everyone has a date, Gary

AgentGeek: @Trenchcoat you have to come. For me

AgentGeek: Pleaseee

Trenchcoat: Rory’s not going either, I don’t see the problem here

AgentGeek: But I need you

Trenchcoat: Say that again

AgentGeek: I need you. I don’t want to go by myself with them

AgentGeek: Sex and breakfast?

Trenchcoat: Ah, you know me all too well, don’t you, love?

Lancelot: John, I’m not exactly a fan of musicals either, but I’m still going because this is family and family sticks together

gayforray: ship mom called us family, aww

MissTimeBureau: Should I be jealous?

Lancelot: Don’t worry, you’re my family too, Aves <333

Trenchcoat: Sara’s more of an annoying sister, though, blackmailing me like this

notbarryallen: yeah, ray and nate are the real dads

ZariIsTheBest: Mick is the grumpy uncle who always has a beer

notbarryallen: me and zari are the kids and nora is the new foster kid

ZariIsTheBest: John is the teenage son who wants to be anywhere but here, and Sara is the responsible eldest daughter with an equally responsible girlfriend who looks after us

gayforray: Sara? responsible?

Lancelot: Nate isn’t wrong

Lancelot: I’m more like the eldest daughter who is tired of everyone else’s shit so she takes matters into her own hands

gayforray: let’s pretend I didn’t notice the dad comment and ask @grunt if he really wants to be the only one stuck on the ship while we’re having fun

grunt: I won’t be stuck on the ship, I’m gonna go to a bar

notbarryallen: suit yourself, uncle

grunt: I’m nobodys uncle

ZariIsTheBest: if you say so

Trenchcoat: Can I go to a bar with Rory?

grunt: no

Trenchcoat: Then I guess I’m going to the bloody musical with Gary

Trenchcoat: Not with you lot, with Gary

AgentGeek: I want to kiss you right now

Trenchcoat: Come here and do it then

AgentGeek: Alright I’m coming and doing it

Trenchcoat: <3

ZariIsTheBest: told you he’s the son who wants to be anywhere but here

MiniDarhk: you’re absolutely right

MiniDarhk: I’d rather be anywhere but here too

ZariIsTheBest: but you wanted to stay

MiniDarhk: I do, it’s just, it’s hard being around you and not thinking about everything I’ve done

rayofsunshine: We’re not saying it’s not hard for us too, but we’re trying, and so can you.

rayofsunshine: I told you the Legends are here to give people second chances.

notbarryallen: and mess with time, and be gay

gayforray: mood

ZariIsTheBest: you’re one of us now, Nora

MiniDarhk: even if I’m not gay

rayofsunshine: So you’ve figured it out?

MiniDarhk: not really

MiniDarhk: still don’t know if I like women

notbarryallen: I’m sure zari would help you with that

ZariIsTheBest: stop with that already, Wally

rayofsunshine: Anything’s fine, Nora, you’re one of us anyway.

MiniDarhk: thanks, palmer

gayforray: I just hope a magical fucker won’t show up within the next two hours and won’t have to go and stop it instead of seeing the movie

rayofsunshine: Babe, you jinxed it. Why did you have to jinx it? I hate you sometimes.

gayforray: no you don’t

rayofsunshine: No, I don’t.

rayofsunshine: But right now I do, a little bit.

gayforray: I’m sorry, everyone

Lancelot: Two words: time machine

Lancelot: Let’s go and get the ghoul who thought 1953 New Orleans was a good place to settle down in, team!

Trenchcoat: I hate ghouls, they’re vile creatures, and this one had to set up shop in New Orleans of all places, the irony’s just rubbing in my face

AgentGeek: Can they actually eat you?

Trenchcoat: They only feed on the dead, love, but it’s nothing nice

notbarryallen: yikes

Lancelot: What happened in New Orleans?

Trenchcoat: Papa Midnite lives there, the voodoo tosser

Trenchcoat: It doesn’t matter, you don’t know him

ZariIsTheBest: did you know ghouls come from Arabic mythology? I’ve heard a lot about them as a kid

ZariIsTheBest: always gave me the shivers

Trenchcoat: And now you’re gonna meet one

ZariIsTheBest: why did you have to jinx it, Nate

gayforray: told you I was sorry

Lancelot: Put your phones down and gear up, big sister’s orders

ZariIsTheBest: roger that

notbarryallen: 👍 


gayforray: so now when the ugly thing’s down, brace yourselves for


notbarryallen: MY, MY, HOW CAN I RESIST YOU



grunt: no

Trenchcoat: Why do you have to make this day even more miserable

AgentGeek: Excuse me, John, I thought you agreed to go with us

Trenchcoat: I’m starting to regret my life choices

Lancelot: Only now?

Trenchcoat: Why so cynical, love?


ZariIsTheBest: says John Constantine, the embodiment of cynicism

ZariIsTheBest: anyhow, I love old movies, I’m excited to see the premiere

gayforray: don’t tell me you’ve seen it before

ZariIsTheBest: alright, I won’t

notbarryallen: that’s not fair

MiniDarhk: when is life ever fair?

notbarryallen: nora’s asking the real questions here

Jaxon: where do we meet u, in front of the theater? at 6:30?

MiniStein: Yes, I’d like to know that too.

Lancelot: That’s about right, we’ll have enough time to buy tickets and snacks

Jaxon: great

Jaxon: lookin forward to it

MiniStein: So am I!

MissTimeBureau: I think we can all agree seeing a happy movie is what we all need at the end of the day we had.

rayofsunshine: And an ABBA movie at that.

gayforray: it’s great that everyone here loves them

ZariIsTheBest: except Mick and John

notbarryallen: let’s be real, abba are the gay icons, we all love them

Jaxon: 80s music is gay pass it on

Lancelot: Honestly

ZariIsTheBest: okay wait for the first song of the movie

AgentGeek: No spoilers, please

ZariIsTheBest: I wasn’t gonna say anything else, I know you’d lock me in the brig or something if I spoiled it for you

gayforray: that sounds like something we might do

MiniDarhk: I saw the movie too when I was 17

AgentGeek: Shut up, Nora

MiniDarhk: you’re angry when it comes to movies

ZariIsTheBest: geeks are like that

gayforray: can confirm

AgentGeek: Sorry

Lancelot: Everyone who’s from the future is excluded from debates about the movie until we’ll all have seen it, all right?

ZariIsTheBest: aye, captain

MiniDarhk: all right

rayofsunshine: Since you’ve mentioned it, it’s almost 6:30 Central City time. Are we good to go?

Lancelot: Yup, ready to fly

ZariIsTheBest: we’re on our way to the bridge

notbarryallen: strapped in

gayforray: HERE WE GO

MiniDarhk: again

notbarryallen: 👏

Chapter Text

‘That was awesome!’ said Nate as the screening room gradually emptied, one dark figure getting up and leaving after another. The credits were rolling to the end. He still had a wide grin plastered to his face.

Ray was holding his hand and rubbing circles across his thumb. ‘I know!’

‘Why did it have to end so soon, though?’ asked Wally, and Nate nodded in agreement. Wally emptied his coke in one loud slurp.

John shot him a look. ‘Oh, thank bloody God it’s over.’

Gary whistled the melody to Dancing Queen, and promptly stopped. His hand rested on John’s thigh. ‘Admit it, John, you loved it. I could see it on your face.’

‘No, I absolutely didn’t.’

‘You did,’ said Sara. In between making out with her girlfriend and enjoying the songs, she paid very good attention to the other team members, John in particular. Nate noticed.

‘Why am I even arguing with you,’ John noted. He prodded Gary’s shoulder. ‘Let’s go, love.’

Gary got up rather reluctantly. They were, in fact, the first ones from their twelve-member group to leave. Sara and Ava didn’t ease their departure in any way when they refused to get up, making John and Gary squeeze past them.

Zari bent forward to have a good look at everyone. No one else was keen to leave any time soon. ‘He doesn’t know what he’s saying, it was as awesome as watching it for the first time.’

‘Oh yes, definitely,’ agreed Nora. She and Zari seemed to agree on a lot of things lately.

Zari took a mouthful of her popcorn and offered the rest to Nora, who passed it to Nate. He was happy enough to throw it into his mouth. ‘Told you to wait for the first song,’ Zari referenced a text she’d sent earlier.

‘Donna is a bisexual icon,’ said Sara, ‘hell yeah. I’m living for that.’

Lily was excited. ‘Who wants to see it again?’

‘Me, definitely me,’ Nate answered with his mouth full of sweet popcorn, and Ray accompanied him with a raise of his arm. It was adorable.

Wally laughed, also humming the tune of the last song. ‘So do I!’

‘Doesn’t everyone?’ Jax practically had to shout to be heard from the other end of the row.

‘Good point, Jax. Good point. But we should go now before they chase us out of here.’ Sara pointed at the nervous cleaner pacing by the exit, broom and dustpan in hand.

‘Aye, captain.’ Ray’s hand never left Nate’s as he extracted himself from the comfortable seat and got up.

The rest of the crew followed suit, noting to find Mick before they head back to the Waverider. The lyrics of Mamma Mia randomly alternating with Dancing Queen occupied Nate’s mind, and he hasn’t felt as exhilarated by anything since his first kiss with Ray.

Chapter Text



rayofsunshine: I’ve been hiccupping for ten minutes now, any tips on how to get rid of it? I think I’ve tried everything.

Lancelot: Hold your breath

notbarryallen: sugar

MiniDarhk: eat some candy

grunt: have a shot of something strong

MissTimeBureau: Drink some water.

ZariIsTheBest: honey helps too

notbarryallen: or fruit jelly

Trenchcoat: Eat a spoon of sugar or jam

notbarryallen: that’s what I said

Trenchcoat: Right, you Americans, calling jam “jelly” and jelly “jello”

notbarryallen: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

gayforray: you Brits put extra unnecessary letters everywhere, I think we’re even

MiniDarhk: the pants thing and the chips thing really must be confusing for you @Trenchcoat

Trenchcoat: Don’t even get me started on that

ZariIsTheBest: @rayofsunshine how’s the hiccups, did it stop?

rayofsunshine: Unfortunately, it didn’t, but I haven’t tried jelly yet.

notbarryallen: even peanut butter worked for me once

ZariIsTheBest: juicy fruits help too

rayofsunshine: Thank you, guys.

notbarryallen: you’re welcome

Lancelot: How come Nate didn’t help you, Ray 👀

rayofsunshine: I’ve convinced him to take a nap after he’s been awake for over 40 hours.

ZariIsTheBest: I thought he was on caffeine high when I saw him earlier

Lancelot: I told him to take a break from the research yesterday, but did he listen to me?

notbarryallen: as if you didn’t know nate

rayofsunshine: A spoonful of jelly really helped, wow. I’ve never thought of that.

notbarryallen: it was my mom’s way

notbarryallen: anyway, I was invited to a family dinner tomorrow so I’m gonna need the jumpship, is that ok?

Lancelot: Of course, Wally

notbarryallen: cool

Lancelot: Say hello to Barry and Iris from me

rayofsunshine: Say hello from Nate and me too!

notbarryallen: will do

notbarryallen: I miss my little sister

Lancelot: I hope you miss the big one too, for your own good. Because I do

notbarryallen: of course I do, I’m a good bro

gayforray: hey gang what did I miss

Lancelot: You mean besides a regular sleep schedule?

Lancelot: Nothing much

rayofsunshine: I’ve had one hell of a hiccups.

gayforray: baby I know, you’ve woken me

rayofsunshine: Sorry.

MissTimeBureau: I always say drinking lots of water is the best method, how come it didn’t help?

MissTimeBureau: Again, I’m a failure.

Lancelot: Nonsense, Aves. What always helps you didn’t help Ray, so what? Everyone’s different

MissTimeBureau: I guess it’s nothing.

MissTimeBureau: It’s just that I’m having a royally bad day.

Lancelot: Leave everything and portal yourself on the ship, dear, it’s an order

Lancelot: I’m gonna make you feel better

MissTimeBureau: Thank you, Sara, I appreciate it <3

Lancelot: We can listen to music and cuddle, okay?

MissTimeBureau: Yeah. Love you.

Lancelot: Love you too

rayofsunshine: Is Ava all right?

Lancelot: It’s nothing I couldn’t make go away

AgentGeek: Boss has a lot on her shoulders now and gets anxiety attacks

AgentGeek: Sorry, that probably wasn’t mine to say

MissTimeBureau: It wasn’t, Gary, but it’s fine. No one’s perfect.

MissTimeBureau: Especially when you’re a damn clone.

Lancelot: Ava, we’ve talked about that. You’re still you even if you were born in a factory. You’re irreplaceable, and I love you. If I can fight my darkness, so can you. Now come to me

MissTimeBureau: That did help a bit.

MissTimeBureau: I’ll be right there, so you better be in bed :)

Lancelot: That’s the Ava I know

Lancelot: Everyone, not a word about this

ZariIsTheBest: don’t worry, Sara, we’ve got you

gayforray: yeah

notbarryallen: I know a great mental exercise to help ease anxiety, so if you needed me, I’m here

Lancelot: Thanks, guys

Lancelot: Now go back to whatever shenanigans you were up to, I’ve got a human-sized sushi roll to take care of

gayforray: do you secretly like memes, Sara?

gayforray: sorry I won’t bother you

notbarryallen: “how to care for a sad person” “lay sad person in blanket, roll them like a sushi”

gayforray: [image attached: roll.png]

Lancelot: Of course I like memes, I’m not that old

gayforray: never said you were

gayforray: ok but vines though

ZariIsTheBest: what are vines

gayforray: WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

notbarryallen: nate how are those chicken strips?

gayforray: FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS...FUCK ya chicken strips!

ZariIsTheBest: ???

gayforray: vines, Zari, are a part of American culture

notbarryallen: yeah, even black panther and avengers quote them

ZariIsTheBest: still don’t know what this is about

rayofsunshine: Come on, everyone knows Vine.

MiniDarhk: not when you’re from the future

gayforray: …and they were roommates

notbarryallen: mah god they were roommates

MiniDarhk: WoW

gayforray: 👏 someone knows what’s good for her

MiniDarhk: HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT’s gOoD fOr mE

gayforray: keep ‘em coming baby

ZariIsTheBest: this is too much

ZariIsTheBest: did you just ask Gideon to play me the most popular vines?

notbarryallen: that was me

ZariIsTheBest: okay, I admit, it’s quite funny

AgentGeek: Did someone mention vine?

AgentGeek: Tweekle tweekle

notbarryallen: that one isn’t even that funny

Trenchcoat: I’m not pretending to understand what’s going on here

AgentGeek: Hey did you happen to go to class last week?

Jaxon: i have never missed a class!

Trenchcoat: Seriously, what demon possessed you lot?

AgentGeek: We have to fix your ignorance of vines, John

Trenchcoat: I don’t think so, love

AgentGeek: You’ll change your mind yet

gayforray: yeah, John, you liked the musical and we all know it

Trenchcoat: I most certainly didn’t

AgentGeek: You did. You told me

Trenchcoat: Traitor

AgentGeek: Love you

Trenchcoat: 🖕

gayforray: so you’re there now 👀

ZariIsTheBest: you do realize Gary probably didn’t mean it ironically @Trenchcoat

Trenchcoat: Didn’t he?

AgentGeek: Well

AgentGeek: He meant both

notbarryallen: john, you’re in trouble

ZariIsTheBest: it’s been what, three months

AgentGeek: Four, and that’s long enough

Trenchcoat: Most of my relationships didn’t even last this long

AgentGeek: Same

AgentGeek: I’ve only had one girlfriend in high school and a boyfriend in college

Trenchcoat: Are you saying I’m your third?

AgentGeek: In a way

AgentGeek: I’ve had sex with a lot of people

ZariIsTheBest: who would guess

gayforray: let’s not forget he’s slept with Sara

MissTimeBureau: HE DID WHAT

gayforray: I should’ve known that would summon you

AgentGeek: She seduced me so she could steal my Time Bureau access card, I’m sorry, Director

MissTimeBureau: We’ll talk about it later, Gary.

MiniDarhk: anyone else has a feeling that lance – sharpe – constantine – gary is sort of a love rectangle

MissTimeBureau: Ew.

Trenchcoat: Pet’s captured it perfectly

AgentGeek: Sara did sleep with all of us and is now in a relationship with the Director, I used to have a crush on my boss, and I’m in a relationship with John

MissTimeBureau: I did not need this image in my head on such an awful day, Gary, thank you.

notbarryallen: but to be fair zari, ray, nate and amaya kinda had a weird thing too

notbarryallen: now if you add nora

MiniDarhk: let’s not forget about rory, kid

MiniDarhk: but there is no weird thing between me and anyone

notbarryallen: oh yeah, the rumor was mick could’ve ended up with literally anyone on this ship

ZariIsTheBest: hey @rayofsunshine why didn’t you add Amaya? surely you can think of something that would enable intertemporal communication

ZariIsTheBest: if intertemporal is a word

rayofsunshine: It is a word, and I haven’t actually thought about that… It’s a good idea, Zari!

MiniDarhk: are you sure you want to add heywood’s ex now when you’re dating him

gayforray: nah, Amaya and I are cool, she’d be happy for us

gayforray: I think she actually had a secret crush on Zari

ZariIsTheBest: she did???

gayforray: sometimes I felt that way, idk

ZariIsTheBest: that’s great because I might’ve had a crush on her too

rayofsunshine: Oh, really?

ZariIsTheBest: yeah

ZariIsTheBest: not something I was proud of

notbarryallen: bc you thought she was straight?

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, and wait a second, she was also from 1942 and dating Nate

MiniDarhk: ^^ all that says “not a good idea to add her”

notbarryallen: are you jealous?

MiniDarhk: no, why would I be jealous?

gayforray: because you’re totally flirting with Zari?

MiniDarhk: I’m not

ZariIsTheBest: she’s not

notbarryallen: uh huh

rayofsunshine: @MiniStein do you still have the device Martin gave you to be able to talk to you through time?

MiniStein: I do, why?

rayofsunshine: Sorry if it’s inappropriate, but could I ask you to give it to me so we could talk to Amaya back in 1942?

MiniStein: Don’t worry, it’s not inappropriate. It’s not like I need it anymore, is it?

rayofsunshine: I’m sorry.

MiniStein: Don’t be. Will you come over, or?

rayofsunshine: I can take the jumpship and drop by.

MiniStein: Great!

notbarryallen: ray, master of subtly changing the topic

rayofsunshine: I don’t actually do that on purpose.

gayforray: I know, that’s the best thing about you

rayofsunshine: That’s the best thing about me?

gayforray: no, your brain and your body are

rayofsunshine: My brain is inside my body.

gayforray: you know what I meant

rayofsunshine: That you love all of me.

notbarryallen: 👀

gayforray: yeah, 👀

rayofsunshine: What?

gayforray: you used the l-word

rayofsunshine: I didn’t say I love you, I said you love me. Ironically.

notbarryallen: still

gayforray: guess what, I do

gayforray: love you

rayofsunshine: You do?

rayofsunshine: I mean, this is awkward. But. I love you too, Nate.

gayforray: aww <3

Lancelot: What just happened

ZariIsTheBest: today’s packed with confessions, wouldn’t you say

ZariIsTheBest: it was about time, guys

notbarryallen: it was sweet

MiniStein: You are adorable.

gayforray: @Lancelot how’s your sushi roll

Lancelot: We’re being lazy girlfriends on my bed, both very much wrapped like sushi rolls

Lancelot: [image attached: blanketbabies.jpeg]

Lancelot: And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my love life, thank you

Trenchcoat: That was that idiot of mine

AgentGeek: Sorry, Sara

Lancelot: Apology accepted if you won’t do it again

AgentGeek: I’ll try

notbarryallen: ok anyone else wants to say they love someone

grunt: I love beer

notbarryallen: I didn’t see that coming

Chapter Text

‘Raymond, what are you doing here? Nathaniel left about an hour ago. I thought this was over.’

He wanted to run to her and hug her tight; he missed his friend. But Amaya didn’t know it’s been four months for them, so he approached her slowly. She has already changed into her traditional Zambesian clothes, a colourful tunic wrapped round her body and a scarf covering her hair.

‘Yes, well, as for legending, that’s over,’ he said, ‘but I’ve come to give you this.’ Ray stretched out a hand. It revealed the other half of Martin’s communication device. ‘So you could talk to us. I made some adjustments.’

Amaya glanced at it, and then at Ray. Disbelieve and mistrust sparked in her eyes. ‘I can’t take this, Raymond.’

‘Of course you can. It’s not like you’re staying on board,’ he objected. A confession slipped out, ‘We miss you.’

‘How long has it been for you?’ Amaya was a clever girl.

Ray made the calculation. ‘Four months on the dot.’

‘And you’re still on the ship? Saving time?’ she smiled at that.

‘Turned out that our little stunt with Malice opened a portal to another dimension, and lots of mythical and magical creatures escaped. We’ve even met a unicorn. You’d like that.’

Her smile was sad now. ‘You’re right, I would.’

Ray took her hand and placed the device into it. ‘Just take this, you don’t have to use it. The batteries are solar-powered, and I’ve installed a keyboard, so you can text across time,’ he explained. ‘How cool is that?’

‘Very cool.’ She turned it upside down, tried to turn it on. ‘Thank you, Raymond.’

‘Well, it was Zari’s idea,’ he admitted.

‘Of course it was,’ Amaya spoke with fondness in her voice. She went and laid the device on a small table.

Ray took in the furnishings of her humble cottage. ‘Anyway, I should go. It was nice to see you.’ He didn’t know if a hug was appropriate or no, so he stood in front of her awkwardly until she decided for him and pulled him in.

‘I saw you an hour ago,’ she said, ‘it’s a little strange.’

Ray pulled away and turned to leave. Amaya cleared her throat. ‘Raymond, wait,’ she paused, ‘how is Nathaniel?’

‘Great, he’s great. We’re great,’ Ray smiled.

He was absolutely, definitely leaving out the fact he was dating Nate now.

He left the cottage and got in the jumpship.

Chapter Text



rayofsunshine added Vixen to Legends of Gay™


ZariIsTheBest: AMAYA!!!


ZariIsTheBest changed Vixen’s name to animalgirl


rayofsunshine: Welcome to our group chat, Amaya.

animalgirl: Hi, Raymond, Zari. How exactly does this work?

rayofsunshine: Through the Waverider, although your little device works a bit differently, I have to admit, I haven’t quite figured Martin’s blueprints out. The important thing is, you can talk to us now!

MiniDarhk: oh hey totem bearer

animalgirl: What is she doing here?

ZariIsTheBest: she kind of lives here now

ZariIsTheBest: with me

Lancelot: Yeah, quite a lot has changed since you left. Hello again, Amaya!

animalgirl: Hi, Sara.

animalgirl: I haven’t been on the Waverider for four months, from your perspective. What disaster have you caused this time?

notbarryallen: that’s a long story

grunt: hello dread pirate jiwe

animalgirl: Is that you, Mick?

grunt: yeah, who else?

animalgirl: Is Nathaniel here too?

notbarryallen: yeah but I think he’s offline

notbarryallen: this is wally btw, in case you can’t tell

animalgirl: Why do you have these names?

ZariIsTheBest: why not, they’re fun

ZariIsTheBest: so how’ve you been?

animalgirl: It’s been three days for me, Zari, nothing really happened here.

ZariIsTheBest: hey, Sunshine, maybe you haven’t exactly thought this through

ZariIsTheBest: you traveled to the exact moment after Nate left?

rayofsunshine: Yes, I did. I see your point now.

MiniDarhk: you could wait for four months and then set this exact date on your phone thing so we’d be aligned

MiniDarhk: just an idea

animalgirl: I don’t like you. You stole my totem and used it for evil purposes.

MiniDarhk: but

animalgirl: But that isn’t such a bad idea.

rayofsunshine: If you think you can handle not talking to us for four months, it’s a great idea.

animalgirl: We’ve all handled staying out of touch for longer than that, I think I’ll live.

animalgirl: All right, I’m saying goodbye for now.

ZariIsTheBest: bye, Amaya, and don’t have too much fun without us

notbarryallen: bye

Lancelot: Goodbye

rayofsunshine: See you later!

grunt: bye

notbarryallen: ok ray, seriously now, you’re in trouble

MiniDarhk: imagine the fun if she scrolled up and saw you and heywood confessing your love to each other three days after she broke up with him

rayofsunshine: Nate said she’d be okay with us, and I chose to trust him…

ZariIsTheBest: but you didn’t tell her when you visited her

rayofsunshine: No, it was an hour for her, I’m not stupid.

ZariIsTheBest: I hope she won’t read the part I said I had a crush on her

Lancelot: I hate to burst your bubble, but she will just read this ^^

ZariIsTheBest: shit

ZariIsTheBest: I’ll just shut up

MiniDarhk: want something from the kitchen when I’m here, tomaz?

ZariIsTheBest: I think I’m good, thanks

ZariIsTheBest: are you eating snacks with Ray?

MiniDarhk: he’s drinking his disgusting butter coffee

MiniDarhk: why couldn’t we hang out?

rayofsunshine: Yeah, why couldn’t we?

ZariIsTheBest: never mind

notbarryallen: I’m in the mood for some games, wanna play, zari

ZariIsTheBest: sure, but I pick the game

notbarryallen: ok

gayforray: @rayofsunshine baby come back here

rayofsunshine: I thought you were asleep, so I went and had a coffee.

gayforray: I was asleep and now I’m not

gayforray: I don’t like waking up in an empty bed

Lancelot: How long have you been awake doing research now, Nate?

gayforray: why

Lancelot: Sleeping in the middle of the day instead of the night isn’t exactly healthy

gayforray: thanks, mom, but it’s not like that

Trenchcoat: They shagged

gayforray: obviously

Lancelot: Ohh

Lancelot: Good for you

Lancelot: Who drinks butter coffee after a shag???

MiniDarhk: palmer

rayofsunshine: You say that like it’s weird.

Trenchcoat: It is

Trenchcoat: Tea I get

rayofsunshine: Self-evidently, because you’re English.

rayofsunshine: I’m coming back now, want to watch Doctor Who again?

gayforray: why do you even ask

gayforray: always

Trenchcoat: And you want to leave us out of it?

MiniDarhk: yeah

gayforray: ok, fine, you can come but not like right now

gayforray: I have to put on some clothes first

ZariIsTheBest: video games canceled, we’re coming too

notbarryallen: we thought it was a team thing now, and you just wanna leave us out? not fair

rayofsunshine: I’m glad you all like it!

Lancelot: New ground rule: we watch that show together

gayforray: if you agree we watch the future stuff once we’re done with the first 10 seasons

Lancelot: Only if Gideon says it’s safe enough

rayofsunshine: She agreed, we all heard it. It’s a deal then!

animalgirl: Hello again!

animalgirl: I’ve missed you guys.

gayforray: Amaya?

gayforray: looks like I’ve missed a lot this time

animalgirl: Who are you?

gayforray: I’ll give you three guesses

animalgirl: Nathaniel?

gayforray: yup, that’s me

gayforray: how are you, girl?

animalgirl: Good, it took some getting used to this life again, but it was the right decision.

animalgirl: How are you?


gayforray: I’m pretty amazing, thanks for asking

gayforray: wait, is that the answer you expect, or

animalgirl: It’s okay if you’ve moved on, Nathaniel.

animalgirl: Why is your name… that?

gayforray: about that

MiniDarhk: he’s moved on a bit more than you’d expect, the name pretty much says it all

gayforray: I’ll kill you, Darhk

MiniDarhk: sorry, can’t

gayforray: about three and a half months after you’ve left, I started dating Ray

gayforray: I know that’s not easy to hear, but you needed to know

notbarryallen: I might’ve made that username

MiniDarhk: they’ve even said they love each other

animalgirl: Why are you like this?

animalgirl: It’s a lot to process, but I’m happy for you, Nathaniel. Truly.

gayforray: @rayofsunshine told ya

animalgirl: But let’s face it, you two had the eyes for each other even before we were together.

rayofsunshine: Has it really been that long?

Lancelot: Absolutely

Trenchcoat: I’m glad I haven’t been on the ship then

notbarryallen: I’d actually love to see them 2 yrs ago

animalgirl: Is that Constantine?

Trenchcoat: The one and only, love

MiniDarhk: if you want more news, he’s dating gary the geek now

animalgirl: Really? I’d never guess that would happen.

Lancelot: None of us would, and yet

Trenchcoat: Not even I saw that coming, believe me

AgentGeek: Same

AgentGeek: I’ve had the best nights of my life with John

AgentGeek: And days too

AgentGeek: Just, good time in general

Lancelot: You love him, we know

MiniDarhk: has he said is back


Trenchcoat: Why do you care about my love life so much, it’s like you have no life of your own

ZariIsTheBest: we love gossip, haven’t you heard

notbarryallen: yeah, we kinda care about everything

gayforray: and it’s true, we have no life

gayforray: we just talk here and watch movies

grunt: and talk about movies all the time

animalgirl: I see that much hasn’t changed after all.

grunt: they still love star wars

gayforray: you wrote that correctly, I’m proud of you, Mick

grunt: whatever

animalgirl: Grunt, that’s a fitting name.

notbarryallen: also mine

ZariIsTheBest: so, Nate, are you fully dressed now so we could come to watch doctor who

gayforray: affirmative

MiniDarhk: I book the spot in the corner of the bed, don’t take it again

notbarryallen: (unless you want to be strangled)

MiniDarhk: you’re right, kid

rayofsunshine: Don’t worry, we’ll keep it for you.

animalgirl: Do I understand it correctly, Nathaniel and Raymond are on the bed together, and Nora Darhk is on the other side?

gayforray: Zari usually squeezes between us too

gayforray: Sara, Ava, John and Gary sit on pillows on the floor

gayforray: Mick’s at the table and Wally never stays in one place

notbarryallen: I get bored easily if I’m not meditating

animalgirl: That’s… interesting.

MiniDarhk: got a problem? I don’t kill anymore if that’s what bothers you

animalgirl: Yeah, that’s not very reassuring.

ZariIsTheBest: Amaya, darling, things are different now. a week ago I wanted to swipe her ass off the ship and now we’re living together and sometimes I can’t believe it either

notbarryallen: so have you kissed already

ZariIsTheBest: Wallace West, I’m gonna say this for the last time, shut up

MiniDarhk: yeah, she’s just my annoying roommate

ZariIsTheBest: I am your roommate?

ZariIsTheBest: and I’m not annoying, thanks

notbarryallen: do you want me to quote that vine again

MiniDarhk: 🔪

MiniDarhk: couldn’t really find a fireball emoji

ZariIsTheBest: I think I’m going to code some Waverider-appropriate emojis and add them to this

rayofsunshine: Good idea!

Lancelot: Everything is a good idea according to you

gayforray: ^^

ZariIsTheBest: do tell

gayforray: that’s personal

Trenchcoat: I love how you assumed it was something dirty

ZariIsTheBest: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

notbarryallen: I found our theme song

notbarryallen: [video attached: exo_history.mp4]

gayforray: dude, that’s in Korean

ZariIsTheBest: again with the kpop, Wally?

notbarryallen: what, it’s dynamic

notbarryallen: and I lived in china for a while

notbarryallen: not to mention we’ve got those universal translators, or google

Lancelot: That’s actually good

AgentGeek: Does anyone here like anime

ZariIsTheBest: NO

notbarryallen: YES

gayforray: I do

animalgirl: What’s anime?

animalgirl: Not that I understand half of the things you’re saying, or want to understand.

notbarryallen: japanese cartoons

animalgirl: Oh.

ZariIsTheBest: I’m impressed Nate hasn’t shown you that

gayforray: we spent a lot of time on other things

animalgirl: Yeah.

gayforray: with Ray, it’s mostly the movies

rayofsunshine: Speaking of, can we finally watch the show now?

ZariIsTheBest: @animalgirl you want to facetime with us

gayforray: facetime suddenly has a wholly new meaning

animalgirl: Not really, I shouldn’t be away from my people for too long, but thanks for the offer.

Lancelot: Ava says she can’t come on board

AgentGeek: Pity

Trenchcoat: It’s just the three of us on the floor then

Lancelot: Why

Trenchcoat: 😈

Chapter Text



animalgirl: I would kill for a donut, oh my God.

ZariIsTheBest: are you reading my mind?? I’m eating one right now

animalgirl: You’re joking.

ZariIsTheBest: nope

animalgirl: I suppose you can’t send objects through time?

rayofsunshine: No, sadly, we can’t.

rayofsunshine: I mean, we can, but we can’t affect when and where they’ll end up.

animalgirl: Too bad.

gayforray: we’ve made donuts before, on that day you left

gayforray: you could make some again

animalgirl: That would be a great idea, Nathaniel, if I remembered the recipe.

rayofsunshine: No problem, I can send it, if you think you can get all the ingredients.

animalgirl: That is a problem.

animalgirl: We don’t have half of the ingredients in 1942 Africa.

notbarryallen: yikes

ZariIsTheBest: I’m sorry girl

ZariIsTheBest: does this help? [image attached: zarisdonuts.jpeg]

animalgirl: You made it worse, Zari.

animalgirl: But thank you.

ZariIsTheBest: yeah

grunt: are you talking about donuts

grunt: I want some

ZariIsTheBest: sure, Mick, come to the kitchen

Trenchcoat: I don’t get your doughnut obsession

MissTimeBureau: They’re the best stress snack.

Trenchcoat: The what?

MissTimeBureau: Stress snack. If you’re having a bad day at work, you have a donut or two and things always get better.

notbarryallen: I agree with your philosophy

AgentGeek: We always have a box at Time Bureau

AgentGeek: Jitters make the best donuts ever

animalgirl: Please, stop talking about them.

ZariIsTheBest: you started it, Amaya

animalgirl: I know.

animalgirl: Who knew that the things I’d miss the most about the future would be sweet pastry and hygiene pads.

Lancelot: Yikes

Lancelot: I can’t imagine what that must be like

animalgirl: Very bad.

ZariIsTheBest: girl, I’m sorry for you

animalgirl: Don’t be, I’ve lived like this most of my life.

animalgirl: The fresh air, undisturbed nature, and beautiful sunsets make up for it.

MiniDarhk: really

animalgirl: Mostly.

MiniDarhk: so, have you met that future husband of yours who you had to abandon team legends for yet

animalgirl: I’ve been back for four months.

MiniDarhk: so

animalgirl: No, I haven’t, and I don’t see how that’s any of your business.

gayforray: thank you

MiniDarhk: almost sounds like you’re jealous, heywood

gayforray: I’m not

gayforray: I knew that would happen

gayforray: and besides, I have my man now

ZariIsTheBest: speaking of, remember how we said we’d throw you a party

gayforray: yeah?

notbarryallen: zari and I have prepared a little something in the kitchen

rayofsunshine: You’re serious?

ZariIsTheBest: absolutely

ZariIsTheBest: the donuts were kinda for you but Mick ate them all so I made more

gayforray: great, that’s great

animalgirl: What party?

MiniDarhk: a party to celebrate the official start of their relationship

animalgirl: You love doing this, don’t you?

MiniDarhk: I don’t know what you’re talking about

animalgirl: Teasing me because I’m not on the ship anymore.

MiniDarhk: no clue,

Trenchcoat: I don’t care for your relationship but someone said party so I’m coming

Lancelot: You’re just pretending you don’t care, but you actually do, I’ve seen through your “I’ve been damned to hell and don’t give a fuck about anything” act

Lancelot: Just come here, John

MissTimeBureau: But you don’t have to. Just saying.

Trenchcoat: Now I’m definitely coming

gayforray: I thought you were past this rivalry by now

MissTimeBureau: I would be, but John here keeps being the immature one and making my life unpleasant in multiple ways.

Trenchcoat: I am the immature one, pet? Really?

gayforray: if you hang out at the Bureau with Gary every day like we all think you do, I can’t say I blame Ava

MissTimeBureau: Thank you.

gayforray: now, if you stop bickering for a while and enjoy this drink in honor of me and Ray, I’d be grateful

Trenchcoat: You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Being celebrated?

gayforray: yeah, I do, thanks for asking

gayforray: but let’s not forget this is about me and my amazing boyfriend

gayforray: so drag your ass here, Constantine

rayofsunshine: You called me amazing? That’s sweet <3

gayforray: <3

MiniDarhk: how are you handling this, animal girl

animalgirl: I’ve said so before, I wish them all the best. They’re sweet.

MiniDarhk: do I sense a little sarcasm in that

animalgirl: I’m not talking to you anymore.

MiniDarhk: great

rayofsunshine: It means a lot to me that you’re not mad, Amaya.

animalgirl: Of course, Raymond.

Jaxon: have a drink on me guys

Jaxon: it’s great ur together

gayforray: thanks, Jax

gayforray: I’ll never refuse a drink

animalgirl: Yeah, we’ve all seen how that ends up.

notbarryallen: some of us more times than others

notbarryallen: #monopolynight

MiniStein: Oh yes, that conversation.

MiniStein: How come you’re celebrating without us?

Lancelot: Sorry guys, but don’t ask me

ZariIsTheBest: I might’ve forgotten about you, I’m sorry

ZariIsTheBest: you should’ve said something earlier

Jaxon: its fine

Jaxon: im out with carly again anyway

notbarryallen: say hi to her from me, bro

Jaxon: will do

Jaxon: she says hello to the legends of gay

Lancelot: Yay

ZariIsTheBest: ❤️

gayforray: tell her the legends love her

Jaxon: very subtle, nate

Jaxon: but i did

animalgirl: I have to ask, why did you name this chat “Legends of Gay”?

Lancelot: Technically, it should be called Legends of Bisexual because that’s what the most of us are

Lancelot: But bisexuals love saying they’re gay a lot, so that’s why

notbarryallen: and pansexuals

ZariIsTheBest: let’s not forget about me, an actual gay person

MissTimeBureau: And me, Sara’s lesbian girlfriend.

notbarryallen: the name was also my idea

notbarryallen: 🌈

animalgirl: So you’re all…?

gayforray: yup

Jaxon: same here

MiniStein: I’m straight, but everyone loves me.

MiniDarhk: true

MiniDarhk: I’m still questioning

rayofsunshine: If I weren’t rayofsunshine, Lily would be.

AgentGeek: You’re not prejudiced or something, are you, Miss Jiwe?

AgentGeek: Just asking

ZariIsTheBest: I’ll kill you one day, Gary

AgentGeek: Isn’t that like, against your religious beliefs

ZariIsTheBest: I’m a time traveler, I’m pretty sure I could find a loophole

AgentGeek: Ok I’m quiet

animalgirl: Of course I’m not prejudiced, I’ve learned a lot about the future and I know things are different there. I just think it’s a nice coincidence, that’s all.

MiniDarhk: heywood said you had a crush on zari, is that true

animalgirl: What part of “not talking to you” didn’t you understand?

MiniDarhk: doesn’t say I can’t talk to you

Jaxon: nice avoiding the subject, amaya

animalgirl: Thank you, Jax.

animalgirl: If you must know, I admit I liked Zari a little bit more than a best friend, but that’s in the past.

Jaxon: past, future, its all mixed up here

ZariIsTheBest: oh boy

ZariIsTheBest: this is awkward

ZariIsTheBest: why didn’t you say something?

animalgirl: I was with Nathaniel at the time, Zari. And I wasn’t sure of those feelings, or proud of them. So I dismissed them.

ZariIsTheBest: hearing you say that kind of hurts, actually

ZariIsTheBest: because I thought exactly the same thing

animalgirl: I’m sorry, Zari.

ZariIsTheBest: well, bygones and all that, am I right?

ZariIsTheBest: we’re still best friends

animalgirl: If you can be best friends with someone living in 1942?

ZariIsTheBest: it’s not the weirdest friendship I’ve had, believe me

ZariIsTheBest: so of course I can <3

Jaxon: carly says u should listen to this song cos its so u

Jaxon: [video attached: raye_friends.mp4]

ZariIsTheBest: is she reading this conversation?

Jaxon: maybe

Lancelot: That’s a good song

Lancelot: The lyrics remind me more of Amaya and Nora though

notbarryallen: or nora and zari works too

MiniDarhk: we are friends??

notbarryallen: have you gotten to the fucking part yet

MiniDarhk: 🔪

notbarryallen: in the song lol

MiniDarhk: ok this is so zari and amaya

ZariIsTheBest: clearly the song is about girl hate, so I disagree with everyone

animalgirl: I don’t like the song.

gayforray: right, you like native African music only

animalgirl: I didn’t say that, Nathaniel. I liked some of the music you played me.

gayforray: some being the keyword

animalgirl: That’s fair.

Lancelot: Anyway, Amaya is officially one of us Legends of Gay, that’s pretty awesome

rayofsunshine: Remember when we said we’d go to a Pride? We should take Amaya too.

rayofsunshine: If you want, of course.

animalgirl: What’s a Pride?

ZariIsTheBest: seriously, girl? it’s a lgbt parade

animalgirl: Oh, I see.

animalgirl: I don’t know, I think it would be too tempting to meet you guys again, as much as I’d love that.

grunt: come on, amaya

MiniDarhk: why doesn’t she get a rory nickname?

gayforray: he likes her enough to remember her name

grunt: yeah

Trenchcoat: Why is my name here a Rory nickname?

notbarryallen: would you prefer wizard

Trenchcoat: No, I’m good, kid

Trenchcoat: So Rory wants to go to the parade with you now?

ZariIsTheBest: you mean with us

Lancelot: We’re all going, John, no exceptions

Trenchcoat: If you won’t make me wear an atrocious flag tie or something, I might tag along

Lancelot: Now that’s an idea

Trenchcoat: No

notbarryallen: we should all wear flag ties, gideon can make them

grunt: I’m not wearing a stupid tie

ZariIsTheBest: would you rather wear a flag on your back as a cape?

grunt: I’d rather wear no such thing

Trenchcoat: I agree with Rory

animalgirl: Maybe I can come with you, but only one trip, and I’m coming back, do you understand? I won’t let myself be pulled back in your adventures.

Lancelot: We respect that, Amaya

Lancelot: Soooo are you bi, or

animalgirl: Is there any other label for liking men and women?

notbarryallen: you’d be surprised

notbarryallen: I myself am pansexual, that means I like men, women, trans people, nonbinary people, you know, just people in general, to put it simply

animalgirl: I think Nathaniel told me about that at some point.

animalgirl: I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it, in this society you’re supposed to marry a man and have children, that’s what life is about.

animalgirl: That, and protecting the village with my totem.

Lancelot: Okay, well, think about it, or not, it doesn’t really matter

Lancelot: We’ll be happy to see you again

Lancelot: Heteronormative society rules suck, here you can be awesome with the rest of us at least for a day no matter what you identify as

gayforray: who said anything about a day, we can party for a week if we want to

notbarryallen: oh yeah, let’s roll

Jaxon: i like that attitude

rayofsunshine: So, when are we doing it?

gayforray: whenever we want, baby, we’re on a time ship!

Lancelot: How about tomorrow?

MissTimeBureau: Tomorrow?

Lancelot: Yeah! Are you working, Aves?

MissTimeBureu: I don’t have to, I’m the Director, you just surprised me.

gayforray: you should know by now we’re all about rash decisions

MissTimeBureau: Oh, I know.

Lancelot: Jax, are you free to go? We can pick you up whenever

Jaxon: i gotta work tomorrow but im free the next day round 10

ZariIsTheBest: is Carly up for it?

Jaxon: imma ask

Jaxon: she’s not lgbt but says she’s going bc she can’t miss the fun

notbarryallen: so it really is serious between you?

Jaxon: yeah man, i like her a lot

ZariIsTheBest: Amaya, are you ready for the party of your life?

animalgirl: I suppose nothing so bad will happen if I leave for a day. I’m looking forward to it!

notbarryallen: cool

ZariIsTheBest: you’re coming too, right, Nora?

MiniDarhk: obviously

ZariIsTheBest: John and Gary?

AgentGeek: I’ll make him wear a flag tie

gayforray: 👌

Lancelot: @MiniStein?

MiniStein: Even straight people can do that, right? If so, count me in, Ronnie can stay with Daddy again. Turns out it wasn’t a disaster the last time.

Lancelot: We’ll pick you up at your house.

Lancelot: So, everything’s set? We’re going to pride?

notbarryallen: we’re going to pride, babyyy

notbarryallen: which one?

gayforray: first the 1970 one, and then the central city one this year, and then we’ll see

Lancelot: Mama approves

Chapter Text

Sara raised her champagne glass. ‘To Nate and Ray!’

‘To Nate and Ray!’ everyone repeated after her, glasses in the air, full and bubbling.

The men in question were blushing a deep shade of red, and grinning widely, teeth and all. Wally hooted. John, standing next to Ray, nodded in approval and gave him an encouraging pat on his arm (someone was in good mood today).

Nate placed his fingers on Ray’s chin and tilted his head to face him. A soft kiss ghosted over his lips. His gaze lingered.

‘Go on then, drink up!’ said Sara, and emptied half of her glass.

Zari gulped down her apple juice, and Mick drank his beer from a glass forced upon him by the captain. The others, Ray included, took a sip of their champagne, and unlike Sara, savoured it slowly.

Ray considered this ridiculous party rather unnecessary, but Nate was enjoying himself immensely, so he tried to have a good time too. Just looking at everyone at the table being happy for them, being a family, was enough to lift his spirits.

Nate was beaming. He sat down and checked his mobile; typed something.

Sara was the only one still on her feet. ‘And now it’s time for doughnuts and ice cream! Dig in!’

Wally pressed a button on a remote, and music started playing. Ray didn’t recognise the band. It was something fast and bursting with energy.

One of Nate’s hand squeezed Ray’s under the table, and his fingers intertwined with his. The other one took another gulp of his drink and then reached for a bowl of cookie dough ice-cream.

Mick grabbed a chocolate and a strawberry doughnut; John refilled his empty glass; Gary snatched the mint & chocolate ice-cream and two spoons; Nora nibbled on a doughnut; Zari devoured her doughnut; Wally ate one spoon of chocolate ice-cream after another and added small chocolate doughnut pieces to it; Ava and Sara shared vanilla ice-cream and shot adoring glances at each other.

For a minute, everything was perfect.

(But only for a minute. Because then Nora started teasing Amaya over text again.)

Chapter Text

Nora looked at the poorly lit empty room, and at nothing at all. ‘Do you really believe in all the stuff you’re saying? That everyone can be redeemed, everyone can get a second chance?’ she asked quietly. ‘Especially among the wretched band you Legends are?’

The body beside her shifted. ‘You mean we,’ Ray stated. There was a silence. Nora filled it with the sound of her hand fishing for pretzels. ‘Yes, of course I believe it, because it’s true; I mean, look at Mick. He used to be a thief and an arsonist. He’s family now. That’s what the Legends are about, providing a new home to those who don’t fit.’

She chewed on her snack, then said, ‘Thanks, Palmer.’ She looked at him, sitting on his bed next to her. She didn’t even know why she was here.

Ray beamed. ‘You’re welcome!’

Nora’s gaze landed on her feet, tucked under Ray’s duvet. ‘You know, I don’t really know what to do now. I feel like my whole life revolved around my dad,’ she crunched on some more pretzels, ‘he pretty much determined my role in all of this without asking what I wanted. He pulled me into his world, and then he died, but he couldn’t leave me alone even in death.’ She sighed. She felt Ray’s eyes on her. ‘He made sure I had a demon in me so he could come back. Because he knew I still loved him.’

Ray moved his feet and smothered the crases on the blue duvet. Unsuccessfully. ‘Well, we’re here to help you figure your place in the world now when the demon’s dead,’ he smiled. ‘We all carry darkness inside us, you know. Fighting our demons. Sometimes literally.’

‘Yeah, except you, Palmer. You’re a total ray of sunshine.’

‘Thanks, I guess.’

Nora scoffed. ‘That was a compliment.’ She grabbed a handful of pretzels and occupied her mind with chewing.

Ray was still looking at her. ‘Yeah, I get it. People say that a lot.’

‘Well, from what I’ve seen, it’s true.’ She put the packet down and played with her hair. She tied it into a ponytail.

Ray yawned. ‘If you need help, or if you need to talk, just know I’m here. You can fight this, Nora, I know you can. You can fight your past. Show us the real Nora Darhk.’

‘You mean like the best version of me? Wonder where I’ve heard that one before.’

‘It’s a typical philosophical movie line,’ Ray laughed. ‘Now, pass me those pretzels, you can’t have them all for yourself.’ She handed the packet. Ray ate some. ‘Want to watch something?’

Nora nodded. She brushed crumbs off of her pyjamas. ‘Sure.’

Chapter Text



ZariIsTheBest added a set of custom emoticons to the chat


ZariIsTheBest: so you wouldn’t say I don’t make good on my promises

rayofsunshine: Is that a tiny Waverider? This is so cool!

notbarryallen: yay

notbarryallen: nora here’s your fireball

MiniDarhk: I see *fireball*

Lancelot: There’s also a canary, I like that

Lancelot: *canary*

Lancelot: But it’s five in the morning, have you spent all night working on it?

ZariIsTheBest: might have, yeah

gayforray: our sleep schedule is so messed up

Lancelot: Don’t tell me, you’re in the library

gayforray: is it really five in the morning? wow

gayforray: why are you guys awake

notbarryallen: I’m just super hyped about pride

ZariIsTheBest: so am I 🌈

notbarryallen: *pansexual flag heart*

rayofsunshine: *pansexual flag heart*

AgentGeek: These new emojis are so cool *bisexual flag heart*

Lancelot: Seriously, who else is up at such crazy hour?

gayforray: you, for one

Lancelot: Fair

MiniDarhk: I’m pretty sure I heard rory go to the bathroom

gayforray: his steps are so loud, am I right

MiniDarhk: yeah

MiniDarhk: tomaz, you should shut that tablet down and go to bed. your notification woke me up.

ZariIsTheBest: sorry

notbarryallen: not to pry but

notbarryallen: do you have one or two beds 👀

ZariIsTheBest: two, thank you very much

notbarryallen: and do you sleep in both

MiniDarhk: *fireball* at you, west

ZariIsTheBest: yes, we sleep in both. I sleep on the right side of the room and Nora is on the opposite side, very far away from me. is that clear enough for you, Wally?

Lancelot: Seriously, though, go to sleep. We can talk at breakfast like normal people

rayofsunshine: Hey! I actually have an idea. We should invite all our LGBT friends to go with us, like Curtis or Alex Danvers! I’m fairly certain they’d love to go with us.

Lancelot: Alex Danvers?

rayofsunshine: Yes, what’s wrong with that? She is a lesbian, right?

Lancelot: From a different Earth, for one

rayofsunshine: Cisco gave me one of his portable portals, actually.

gayforray: portable portals. that’s clever

Lancelot: It’s actually a breach, not a portal

Lancelot: And I like that idea! I swear we never actually get together like normal people

MiniDarhk: you want to add even more people to this mess

gayforray: yeah, why not? it’s gonna be fun

notbarryallen: more flag ties to fabricate

notbarryallen: so who are we talking about anyway?

notbarryallen: definitely cisco and barry, and I know this kid hartley who’s gay

rayofsunshine: Curtis and Rene and Felicity from Team Arrow.

gayforray: wait, Barry Allen?

notbarryallen: he’s ace

gayforray: oh

ZariIsTheBest: #teamace *asexual flag heart*

rayofsunshine: And as far as I know, half of Team Supergirl.

MiniDarhk: great, that’s great. so many superheroes in one place

ZariIsTheBest: you should’ve seen it when we all teamed up to beat those Earth-X Nazis

MiniDarhk: you did what

ZariIsTheBest: wait, you don’t know about that, do you? it’s kind of a long story

ZariIsTheBest: Zari Is Offline

notbarryallen: if barry’s coming, so is iris

notbarryallen: I’ll get to go to pride with my sister, that’s cool

gayforray: so you’ve already told her you’re pan?

notbarryallen: yeah, I delivered a whole speech on that family dinner

AgentGeek: Wow, I admire you

notbarryallen: thanks, I think

notbarryallen: dad took it quite well actually and iris was excited

AgentGeek: That’s great, you’re lucky, my family wasn’t so accepting

notbarryallen: yikes, that sucks, man

AgentGeek: But I’ve got a cool boyfriend now so everything’s fine

notbarryallen: ok I texted cisco and barry and told them to text hartley

notbarryallen: does anyone actually have a number of anyone from team supergirl?

Lancelot: I don’t think so

rayofsunshine: I called Felicity, and she said she’d be excited to go with us, that it’s great, and that she’ll ask Curtis and Rene. So, that’s settled!

Lancelot: We could probably just jump through a breach and ask Kara in person, I mean, what could happen, right?

gayforray: I agree

Lancelot: Screw this, I’m gonna go have a cup of coffee since it looks like no one’s coming back to sleep

Lancelot: Anyone cares to join me?

gayforray: I’ve been drinking coffee and diet mountain dew for hours

gayforray: one more can’t hurt me

rayofsunshine: If it means you’ll stop researching what all we know about genies and admit we know nothing, you should definitely do that, and take a shower, and come to our room.

notbarryallen: excuse me did I just read “our room”

Lancelot: 👀

rayofsunshine: Nate moved here two days ago, we thought it was a reasonable solution.

gayforray: I was kinda living there anyway

notbarryallen: you’re taking things fast

rayofsunshine: Is that fast? I don’t even know.

gayforray: off topic but I’m surprised Zari isn’t lurking here again

notbarryallen: god knows what she and nora are doing right now

Lancelot: I’d rather not know

ZariIsTheBest: are you talking about me

ZariIsTheBest: @ Nate and Ray that’s great news, I’m lowkey astonished

MiniDarhk: why didn’t you pick me up sooner, I could’ve thrown fire at nazis

MiniDarhk: that sounds like fun

gayforray: Nora, DON’T

MiniDarhk: what, it’s parallel universe nazis, we’re allowed to kill them, right?

Lancelot: Yeah, it’s questionable

grunt: I hate nazis

rayofsunshine: Mick, we know.

ZariIsTheBest: everyone hates them

MiniDarhk: @grunt did you just join or have you been reading this the whole time

grunt: just joined

grunt: I heard sounds in your room

grunt: so I checked and saw you were talking about nazis

notbarryallen: sounds???

gayforray: 👀

ZariIsTheBest: 🖕

ZariIsTheBest: it was just laughter

gayforray: now I need to hear more

MiniDarhk: apparently you aren’t allowed to make bad jokes about nazis and demons

ZariIsTheBest: shut up

ZariIsTheBest: just so we’re clear

ZariIsTheBest: we’re both in our designated beds

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: noras_bed.jpeg]

notbarryallen: it’s funny how defensive you always get when we mention you and nora

gayforray: honestly

notbarryallen: both of you

gayforray: you might deny it but things are real there

notbarryallen: remember those two idiots we were trying to get together when this all started

gayforray: excuse me, neither of us is an idiot, we have multiple phds

Lancelot: And too much coffee

Lancelot: I can see that with my own eyes

Lancelot: Fuck, we’re gonna be so tired today

notbarryallen: guys cisco yelled at me for texting him at 5:27 am

notbarryallen: like, in a text

notbarryallen: but he says he can’t miss it

notbarryallen: and you’re right, sara

gayforray: it’s a party, we’re gonna come alive in no time

ZariIsTheBest: that ^^

ZariIsTheBest: and just a reminder, the fact that I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I like all women. Nora is my friend, end of story

gayforray: if you say so 😁

MiniDarhk: do I have any say in that?

MiniDarhk: yes, we are only friends, just as palmer and me or zari and amaya

grunt: your friends with haircut?

MiniDarhk: why do people still think it’s weird?

MiniDarhk: okay, fair, I also think it’s weird, or unexpected at least

Lancelot: You know, there’s a lot of sexual tension between all the people you mentioned

rayofsunshine: Me and Nora? What? There’s no tension between us.

rayofsunshine: We talk. As friends.

gayforray: not anymore, but

gayforray: baby, there definitely was something

MiniDarhk: I beg to differ

rayofsunshine: See?

ZariIsTheBest: and amaya and I figured it out, thanks very much

notbarryallen: is it gonna be too weird when both nora and amaya will be going to the prides

MiniDarhk: why would it be weird? I gave the totem back, didn’t I?

MiniDarhk: and tomaz is dating neither of us so I don’t see the problem

MiniDarhk: maybe you’re the problem, you’re a bit annoying sometimes

gayforray: well, maybe not dating, but you know

notbarryallen: well, sorry for annoying you, miss darhk

ZariIsTheBest: she didn’t mean it like that

MiniDarhk: she’s pretty sure she did, but maybe it’s because she still thinks this is no hour to be awake at and wants to go the fuck to sleep for at least a few more hours

Lancelot: Then do it, no one’s stopping you

Lancelot: I may have given up but only because I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anyway

ZariIsTheBest: Ava isn’t here?

Lancelot: Sadly she’s not

Lancelot: Had to go away for some sort of last-minute mission

Lancelot: And she’s probably still enjoying a good night’s sleep

ZariIsTheBest: I’m sorry if I woke you up, guys, really

gayforray: not me, I was already awake

gayforray: but Ray’s passed out with his phone on his belly

gayforray: it’s adorable

notbarryallen: you can tell who’s a true night owl here

ZariIsTheBest: Mick and Ray, everyone knows they don’t get up before 9

Lancelot: I’m a wannabe owl

Lancelot: I’d sleep till 10 every day if I could

gayforray: you know whom we didn’t wake up at all

gayforray: Constantine

Lancelot: Guess Gary wore him out last night

ZariIsTheBest: don’t make me think about that

notbarryallen: here’s a different thought

notbarryallen: in 4 hours we’re going to 1970 and it’s not for a case!!!

ZariIsTheBest: that really is in four hours, isn’t it?

ZariIsTheBest: I probably shouldn’t have wasted this night coding emojis

notbarryallen: pride flag hearts, zari, they’re important

gayforray: because we’re going to pride in four hours

gayforray: *rainbow heart* *bi flag heart* *pan flag heart* *ace flag heart* *trans flag heart*

Chapter Text

‘I’m not wearing this.’ It was a statement. Mick held the tie like it was a dead rat.

Sara was unimpressed. ‘Come on, Mick.’ She was on the verge of a whine.

Wally, who just finished tying his fashionable pansexual-flag headband around his head, offered to use his speed to coil it round his neck. Sara considered allowing him to do it, but Ava’s hand on her forearm stopped her from uttering the words.

‘Don’t make him wear it if he doesn’t want to,’ she said, looking at Mick with a furrowed brow. Her rainbow tie was proudly on display, adding a nice dash of colour to her outfit.

‘Okay, but he’s the only one,’ Sara said, ‘it will be weird.’

Even John Constantine switched his regular red tie for a pink-purple-blue one, if messy as always. Gary, strangely, possessed an ability to make John do something he wanted.

‘I didn’t have to wear anything to the last one, why do I have to now?’

Ray turned to him to answer. ‘Because in the past, people didn’t march adorned with flowers and waving twenty different flags in the air, but they do now, Mick.’

Nate pointed at his boyfriend’s T-shirt. ‘That.’

‘I said no,’ Mick grumbled, and it was the end of that argument.

Ray and his painstakingly bright pansexual flag T-shirt stepped in front of Sara. ‘Do we have ties for our non-time-traveller friends?’

‘Yeah, I have them, don’t worry about it,’ she answered and checked her mobile for any texts. She noticed the time. Louder, she said, ‘Alright, finish up dressing, we’re leaving in five.’

Ava gave her a fond smile. ‘Always the captain, are you, Sara?’

‘Someone has to get this band in order, or else we’d never even get the dishes done.’ She leant close enough to smell Ava’s almond shampoo. Then she pressed a quick kiss on her cheek and headed toward the bridge.

Zari, Nora, John, and Gary were already seated, having a passionate debate about something Sara suspected was Dungeons and Dragons, nearly shouting at each other. Zari and Nora were wearing rainbow flower crowns and leaning close to each other to be closer to the two men, who have chosen to sit on the opposite side of the circle. Or so Sara hoped. She didn’t know what to think of the two of them. She didn’t want to think about them, to be frank.

She assumed her seat and swung one leg over another while she waited for the rest of the team to come over. The debate slowly died down. Zari must have noticed Sara staring at them.

‘So we’re good to go?’ she asked.

‘Yup, Central City Pride is waiting!’

Zari smiled. ‘Great!’

Ray and Nate arrived, holding hands. They were laughing about something only they shared. Behind them walked Ava in her elegant costume, and Sara lit up on instinct.

How did she ever became so lucky, after all the darkness she’s been through?

Ava gave her a tiny wave before sitting down next to Gary. Ray and Nate took the seats in the middle, and before they buckled up, Wally ran into the room and messed up everyone’s hair with his speed. He plopped down next to Nora, leaving Mick to sit next to Ray. Mick, who was in no hurry to get over there. How typical of him.

Two minutes later, he finally claimed his seat. Sara prepared herself to fly. ‘This year’s Pride is in two weeks, so we’re going to the 2017 one, it’s better than travelling to the future. But first, we have to pick our friends up, so there’s gonna be a small detour,’ she said, ‘after that, it’s party all day long!’

Everyone cheered, some clapped their hands. Sara turned round in her chair and set the coordinates for 1942 Zambesi first. The Waverider took off and left 1970 New York behind, entering the green whirl of the time vortex (as Ray insisted they call it). The flight was short and smooth; soon, they were welcoming Amaya in the cargo hold with hugs and kind words.

Zari held her the longest. ‘I’ve missed you, girl,’ she said, and she was excited.

‘I missed you too,’ Amaya replied and let her go. She cast a murderous glance at Nora and went to hug Ray. He was beaming. Nate was clearly happy to see her again and wanted to embrace her, but his brain reminded him she’d left him and he was with Ray, so he did nothing, only stood and stared and didn’t know what to think.

Sara gave her a bisexual-flag coloured flower crown, identical to her own, and hugged her shortly. ‘Welcome back!’ she said.

‘I’m glad to be back, but I am coming back to my village after this is over.’

‘Yes, and we all respect that, Amaya.’

Sara led her and the others to the bridge. Too late did she realise there weren’t enough seats on the Waverider, so she had to tell Mick to go sit in the library, which left Amaya with an unfortunate choice of sitting either next to Nora or Nate, as he and Ray switched seats.

In the end, she picked the seat next to Nate, and gave him an awkward smile.

‘Why do I have to be the one going to the library,’ Mick complained as he shuffled over to one of the armchairs. ‘It’s always me.’

Sara shouted over the chatter of her team-mates, ‘Don’t worry, Mick, you’re about to have company soon!’

She lifted the ship off the ground and plotted her course to 2018 Central City, where their friends were waiting for them in the car park in front of Star Labs. It was easier that way than picking them up one by one in their homes.

‘Central City, here we go,’ Nate said, and once again, they were swallowed by the eternal tunnel of the time vortex. The journey was longer this time.

Sara landed smoothly on the empty car park, and just as before, everyone got up and hurried to the door, excitement in their eyes and pride flags all over their bodies. Ava and she were the last to leave the bridge.

Wally opened the door, and slowly as it moved, it revealed the heads of Barry Allen and his wife Iris, Cisco Ramon, a grinning man who could be no one else but Hartley Rathaway, Jax, Lily, Curtis Holt, Rene Ramirez, and Felicity Smoak with Oliver’s son, William. Their bodies followed. Some were already waving tiny flags in the air.

Wally ran to greet his sister and friends. Ray gave Felicity a hug and introduced himself to William. Sara finally walked down the ramp and said, ‘Hey, everyone. You ready to party?’

She hugged Felicity as well, and then Iris and Barry.

Barry shot his hand in the air. ‘Yeah!’ He was dressed in black, white, grey, and purple, being even more of a walking flag than Ray. Zari complimented his outfit and said, ‘Hey, ace club.’

‘Be damn sure we are,’ Cisco added, and gave Wally a high-five. He sported a T-shirt that claimed that “trans people are human too”. Clearly, they came better equipped than the crew of the Waverider.

Sara opened her bag and passed each person a respective tie of flower crown. Barry took a tie and put it round his neck speedily. Cisco chose a transsexual-coloured flower crown and grinned happily as he put it on. Hartley took both a rainbow tie and crown. Iris took one as well and laced her fingers with her husband’s. Curtis tied his tie around his head like Wally, and Rene copied him with his bisexual flag one, as did Jax. Lily hesitantly put the rainbow one on her head. Felicity grabbed a demisexual flag crown and set it atop her blonde hair, falling down on her shoulders.

‘Do you want one too, kid?’ Sara asked William.

He hesitated. Felicity nodded at him, and so he said, ‘Can I have the rainbow tie?’

Sara fished it out of her bag and handed it to him; there were many to spare. ‘Thanks,’ he said, and then asked Felicity to tie it for him.

Sara felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned round to see it was Ava. ‘Are we good to go?’ she asked.

‘I think we are,’ Sara answered, looking at the large group of rainbow-adorned people in front of her. She gave Ava a brief smile and walked over to Cisco, who was chatting with Nate and Ray. ‘Hey, Cisco, can you breach the entire ship to another Earth?’ she asked, pointing at the Waverider.

‘Can I breach the ship to another Earth? Of course I can do that, Sara, there’s no need to ask such a question,’ he said. ‘Which Earth would you like to go to, captain?’

‘Supergirl’s Earth.’

‘She’s coming with us too? Cool!’

‘Yeah, she and some of her friends,’ Sara confirmed. She put on an authoritative tone, ‘Alright, guys, get on the ship, we’re picking up Supergirl on Earth-38 and then we’re coming back here to finally join the pride!’

She headed back inside, and the crowd (yes, twenty people were a crowd, and definitely too many for the Waverider) around her started to move. Introductions were made on the way: the Legends’ new members didn’t know the others yet, and not everyone has met Hartley or William Queen. Not everyone was pleased with the situation, however; Mick ran off into the kitchen for a beer, and Nora seemed to glower at everyone who wasn’t Zari or Ray.

Hartley Rathaway was taken aback by the ship. He was looking around, mouth agape, and made comments that involved Star Trek or Doctor Who. Sara couldn’t blame the guy. He was the only one who hasn’t been on board yet.

‘Find any place to sit,’ she told the hovering group. ‘I think you can manage without chairs for a while. The ride should be smooth. Cisco,’ she found him next to Barry and Curtis, ‘do your magic.’

She lifted off.

‘Right away,’ he said as he scurried over to the front. Outside the window, he created a large, whirling breach to Earth-38, blue and gaping. ‘Here you go, captain, straight to Earth-38. Pun intended.’

A few people laughed. Sara entered the coordinates and pre-set the time jump to August 2017. She pulled the lever, and the ship left Star Labs behind. The breach closed immediately after it went through.

For a brief moment, they were in Earth-38’s version of Central City; it seemed somewhat brighter.  Sara clicked some buttons on the panel. The Waverider sped up and flew higher, toward National City, Supergirl’s home.

But then it entered the time vortex. Something was wrong.

‘What’s going on?’ Ray asked. ‘Aren’t we supposed to be flying to National City?’

Sara furrowed her brow. ‘Gideon, why did we time-jump?’

‘You’ve entered the date of the 12th of August, 2017, captain. The time jump is proceeding as scheduled by you.’

‘Right, I must’ve clicked the wrong button by accident,’ Sara said. ‘We are going to National City, but in 2017. Our plan still stands, though.’

Strangely, she felt threads of relief deep down. In 2017, Kara hasn’t met Earth-X Nazis, and Alex hasn’t been locked up in an Earth-X labour camp. And she hasn’t met Sara yet. Things won’t get awkward. It was for the better that she accidentally jumped in time, in the end. Right?

‘Have we really just travelled in time?’ she heard someone say, an excited newbie. ‘That’s awesome!’ Now she recognised the voice. It belonged to Curtis.

‘I know, right?’ said Nate. ‘Forgot this was your first time. Most of you.’

‘Not me! I’ve time-travelled before,’ replied Felicity. ‘It really brings things to a wholly new level.’

‘I don’t know, man,’ said Rene. He looked around suspiciously. ‘First aliens, then parallel Earths, now time travels. Things are getting way too sci-fi for my liking.’

‘Oh, you’ll love it,’ Felicity spoke again.

‘Alright, show time’s over,’ Sara shouted. ‘We’re leaving the vortex now.’

The shiny silhouette of National City appeared above them. It was only a short way from there.

‘Do you really call it time vortex? Is that what it’s called?’ Barry asked Wally. The speedsters and Iris were sitting next to each other, in an easily won set of seats.

Wally answered, ‘Yeah, we call it that, but we don’t know what the Time Masters called it before. It was Ray’s idea. He kind of insisted on it.’

‘Time Masters? Now that’s a bit too much of irony, don’t you think?’ Cisco noted. ‘Or copying.’

‘At first, I thought they were trying to tell us something,’ said Ray, leaning over Nate to get closer to them. ‘Sounded too familiar.’

‘Seriously, is everyone here a fan of Doctor Who?’ Nora asked. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor between Zari and Ray. ‘What are the odds.’

‘Do you mean Oods?’ Cisco joked. Half of the crew laughed, and so did Sara. Lately, she’s gained a lot of useless knowledge of fictional alien races and planets, and possible versions of the past and future. It was ironical, but a show about time travel was a great pastime on boring days. You know, besides cuddling in bed with her girlfriend.

‘That was a good one,’ Nora admitted.

‘Well, I’m the master of bad puns.’

Barry and he shared a high-five; Cisco has taken a spot next to Barry. Almost everyone has ended up on the floor somewhere, holding onto the seats.

Sara began to decelerate and descend. There was a park underneath them, so she headed for a large lawn next to a pond. She could park the Waverider there. ‘Barry, you know Kara better than we do, and Cisco can breach us into her apartment or wherever she is, so you’re coming with me,’ she said, having turned around to face the crew of twenty. ‘The rest of you, stay put, and don’t destroy anything.’

‘Or you’ll answer to me,’ Zari added, and threw in an intimidating look.

‘Right. We’ll be waiting then,’ Curtis said. He adjusted his flower crown.

The Waverider landed. Sara got up. Barry said a brief goodbye to Iris, and he and Cisco followed her outside. On the way, Barry complained about a bad stomach.

‘Why do I feel sick? I think I’m gonna puke.’ Barry held his stomach. ‘Yeah, definitely gonna…’ He quickly turned round and bend over at a shrub to throw up the contents of his stomach.

‘Time sickness,’ Sara explained when he rejoined them.

‘I’ve never had time sickness when I travelled in time…’

‘You want me to try her apartment first?’ Cisco asked with a raised eyebrow.

‘Yeah, she might be there. But Alex and Maggie,’ the name brought up a dose of memories, ‘will be in their own apartment.’

‘You say where to go, and I’ll go,’ he replied, and swiftly created a breach right in front of them.

Barry stepped through it first. ‘I can’t wait to see them again,’ he said right before it swallowed him whole and spat him out in the middle of Kara Danvers’ living room.

Cisco and Sara quickly followed, and the first thing they saw when they emerged was the startled face of Kara in her pyjamas, sitting on the sofa.

She quickly came to. ‘Barry Allen! And Cisco, and… Sara. Hey! What are doing here?’ she asked with a wide, enthusiastic grin. Kara and her undying optimism. She gave them a once-over. ‘And why are you wearing flower crowns?’

Sara opened her mouth to answer, but Barry beat her to it. ‘We’re going to Central City Pride together, and we thought you might want to come,’ he explained. ‘Just us, and, you know, some friends.’

‘We never really hang out when invaders aren’t threatening to kill us all, so.’

‘I’ve got one of these for you too.’ Sara took out a flower crown and threw it at her. Bisexual colours.

Kara caught it and put it on, grinning still. Then she shot a worried look at the blankets next to her. ‘That’s, uh, that’s nice! Of course I’d love to go!’ she said, not quite focused on the three of them.

The blankets moved. Sara noticed the shape of wiggling legs under them. Someone spoke. ‘Can I go too? I always wanted to go to a pride, but with me being the owner of L-Corp and all, it would draw too much unwanted attention,’ a female voice said. Then it the woman sat up, and the voice got a face. She turned to them. ‘Did you say Central City?’

Sara knew in a heartbeat it was Lena Luthor. It was hard to overlook her even on Earth-1.

‘Yeah, and also on another Earth,’ answered Cisco, laughing nervously.

Barry ran over to the sofa. ‘Hi, I’m Barry Allen, I’m a friend of Kara’s. Sort of.’

Lena disentangled herself from the mess of blankets and threw her legs over the edge of the sofa. She was also in her pyjamas. She fixed her messy hair. Had she been lying in Kara’s lap? ‘I’m Lena Luthor,’ she introduced herself and shook Barry’s hand. ‘I’m… well, that doesn’t matter. Nice to meet you.’

‘Sara Lance,’ said Sara, a bit too curtly. She was still processing what she was looking at here. Lex Luthor’s wicked little sister, or her doppelgänger, anyway, sitting next to shiny Kara Danvers, Supergirl, and acting like it was normal.

‘I’m Cisco Ramon. Hey.’ He waved awkwardly.

Lena looked at Cisco. ‘What did you say about an another Earth?’

Kara patted her arm. ‘That’s nothing, that was just a joke,’ she said and forced a laugh. ‘Anyway, we should probably get dressed.’ She turned to Barry. ‘Are Alex and Maggie coming too?’

‘We’ve been meaning to ask them, yeah. Know anyone else who’d like to come?’

Kara got up first, then Lena. ‘I think Winn mentioned a boyfriend once, but I don’t know who else is LGBT,’ she answered. ‘J’onn has to stay at the DEO, and James can’t go either.’

Those names rang no bells to Sara. She didn’t know much about Supergirl, to be honest. Different Earths and all.

‘K. We’ll give you time to change,’ Cisco took in her unicorn pyjama bottoms, ‘and then we’ll go pick them up.’

‘Great!’ Kara waited until Lena was in the bedroom before she hurried over to them. ‘She doesn’t know,’ she whispered, ‘about Supergirl, the multiverse, any of that. So please, could you keep it subtle and not talk about it?’

Barry nodded. ‘Of course. Didn’t know you were seeing anyone,’ he inquired.

‘Well, it’s pretty new, actually.’

Sara cleared her throat. ‘Lena Luthor? Really, sunshine?’

‘I don’t know what she’s like on your Earth, but on my Earth, she’s helped me many times, and we’ve been great friends since we’ve met. Well, almost. And I really like her.’ As if she knew what Sara was getting at.

‘Yeah, I get it, sorry. She is pretty hot, gotta hand it to her,’ Sara said. ‘So, which crown is for her?’

‘Rainbow, definitely rainbow.’

Sara found one and handed it to Kara. ‘You might want to go change now, so she doesn’t get suspicious.’

‘Fair point,’ Kara giggled, and ran into the bedroom. Sara heard muffled, excited voices. She didn’t want to think about what was going on behind the closed door.

‘We gotta keep them away from Mick,’ Cisco noted.

Sara nodded. ‘Definitely.’

‘He’s gonna spill the Supergirl beans right when he sees her, isn’t he?’ Barry worried. He started pacing round the flat; he’s spent too long in normal speed.

‘He called her “skirt” the last time, so I think we’re good, but still, it won’t be a good combination.’ Sara has never been to another Earth but to the worst one, and this one seemed nice. Supergirl’s flat was bright, neat, decorated: something Sara never had. It was full of nice memories. Personal belongings. Seeing it made her think of Ava’s place, and the offer she’d given her two days ago.

“You could move in with me if you want a place to stay.”

The door swung open, and the two women stepped outside. Kara was wearing a floral skirt and a pink top, and Lena chose shorts and a top that went down on her shoulders; something Sara never thought she’d see her in. The Lena she knew always wore high heels and black costumes. The flower crowns sat atop their heads.

‘We’re ready to go!’ Kara exclaimed. ‘Let’s go get my sister!’

‘Where does she live?’ Barry asked. ‘And who’s this Winn fellow?’

‘He’s my best friend,’ she explained. ‘I’ll call him, hang on.’ She grabbed her mobile lying on the coffee table and dialled. ‘Hey, Winn! Some friends of mine came by and…’

‘We’ll take you to Alex and Maggie’s place,’ said Lena. Her bag was at the door, so she went and took it. ‘Thanks for letting go with you even though you don’t know me. You see, Kara and I have been together for less than a month, so it’s all very new to both of us, and this is a thing I’d love to do with her. Meet her friends, too.’

‘Sure!’ Cisco, clearly clueless about her doppelgänger’s activities, smiled and spread out his arms. ‘You’re dating Kara, you’re gay, we’re going to pride, it’s all with the other.’

Kara laughed into her mobile behind them. Lena asked, ‘How many of you exactly are there?’

They all made the mental calculation. Barry spoke first. ‘Twenty-one so far, should be twenty-six in total if Kara’s sister and her girlfriend and that friend of yours are going.’

‘Fiancée,’ Lena corrected him automatically. ‘Maggie’s her fiancée. And that’s quite the number.’

‘What’s to say, we stick together,’ Sara said, and turned to Kara as she approached them.

‘Winn’s excited to go with us! He also said he wants a pansexual flower crown.’

‘Sure thing,’ Sara said in the exact same moment Barry muttered, ‘We’ve also got ties.’

‘Cool.’ Kara put her mobile into a handbag hanging on a hook next to the door and grabbed her keys. ‘We’ll stop by Alex and Maggie’s place first, and then we can meet up with Winn, is that okay?’ She opened the door and let the others pass.

‘How did you get here, do you have cars?’ asked Lena.

This was going to be trouble from the beginning. Kara clearly didn’t want her to know about multiple Earths and breaches and superheroes, but how could they keep it under the lid when they came here in a fucking time ship?

‘Well,’ Barry squirmed under her question. ‘We—’

Cisco stepped in before he could reveal unwanted information. He walked down the stairs, Sara next to him and Lena behind him. ‘Do you have metahumans in National City?’

Lena gave him a strange look. ‘Not here, there are mostly aliens in this city. You know, Supergirl. But there are metahumans elsewhere. Why?’

‘I’m a meta. One of the good ones. I can create inter-dimensional breaches.’

Barry shot Cisco a look telling him to shut up. Sara agreed with him.

However, she suspected they couldn’t keep their secret identities secret for much longer, because they were bound to use the Waverider to go back to Earth-1. It was a matter of time before Kara’s secret was uncovered because of that too.

Sara halted and waited for Kara to catch up with her.

‘Oh. So you’re saying that other dimensions really exist? And you can move between them? That’s fascinating!’ she heard Lena say to Cisco.

‘I can move within this one too,’ he said. ‘See?’ Right in front of him, he created a blue breach and stepped inside. Five metres ahead, outside the building, another opened, and Cisco came out of it. He waited until they were outside as well. ‘But yeah, the multiverse is real. Do you know anything about it?’

Lena joined him at the front. ‘I’m a scientist, so naturally, I was curious. I studied the multiverse theory when I was in college, and time travel and wormholes too. But I ended up in engineering, in the end.’

‘I’m also an engineer, how cool is that? I work at Star Labs.’

‘I’ve actually invented a few devices that have helped Supergirl save the world.’

‘I work with the Flash.’

‘Who’s the Flash?’

‘So, you know Supergirl?’

‘I don’t know her identity if that’s what you’re asking, and even if I did I couldn’t tell you, but yes, I work closely with her.’

Oh, she had no idea. Sara tapped Kara’s forearm. ‘Hey. I’m telling you this as a friend, Kara,’ she said. Kara frowned slightly. ‘She’ll find out you’re Supergirl very soon. It might be our fault. So, you know, be prepared.’

Sara was actually surprised she hasn’t figured it out yet; her disguise was a costume with a cape and the lack of glasses atop her nose.

‘No, that’s on me. I knew it couldn’t last,’ she said quietly, looking at Lena’s back. ‘She’s the only one who doesn’t know yet.’

‘A half of our team has powers, Kara. She’ll put two and two together and figure out how we know each other, especially now when she knows we’re from a different Earth. So, here’s the friendly advice: tell her yourself.’

She might be prejudiced against Lena, but she didn’t want Kara to get hurt. She knew very well what that felt like.

‘You’re probably right, Sara.’ Her eyes pointed at the crown on Sara’s head. ‘So, you too?’

‘I thought that was obvious,’ she laughed. ‘I’ve got a girlfriend too, waiting for me on the Waverider. We haven’t been together long either, but I know I love her.’

‘That’s great! I can’t wait to meet her!’ Kara grinned and went to join Lena and Cisco at the front.

Sara was stuck with Barry for the rest of the way to Alex’s flat, and they talked about time travel and TV series and their life, just so Sara didn’t have to think about Alex and their one night together.

They walked up the stairs in the apartment complex, and Kara knocked on the door to the flat. ‘Hey, Alex, it’s me!’ she called.

Sara heard some shuffling and voices before the door opened. There wasn’t Alex—the woman standing behind it was just as beautiful, but she had long wavy hair, and she was shorter. ‘Maggie, hi!’ Kara hugged her sister’s fiancée. She looked at little the group behind her. ‘These are my friends. Can we come in?’

‘Sure,’ Maggie said, waving them inside. ‘I’m Maggie Sawyer, Alex’s fiancée.’

Lena hugged her too; Sara, Barry, and Cisco introduced themselves.

So, this was the Maggie Alex had talked about. She was nice and gorgeous, and they seemed like the perfect couple that would stay together forever after they got married. Except Sara knew they never will, and that will lead Alex to snogging Sara at Barry and Iris’ rehearsal dinner.

Time travel made thing really complicated sometimes.

Alex entered the living room and said, ‘Kara, what’s this about? Who are these people?’

At the sight of her, Sara nervously stepped from one foot to another and played with her hair.

‘And why are you all wearing LGBT flag flower crowns?’ added Maggie. ‘As far as I know, pride isn’t until two weeks later.’

‘Yeah, and I know you guys wanted to go, but Barry and Sara here invited us all to go Central City Pride with them, Winn too,’ Kara explained. ‘We can go to two prides if you want!’

‘That’s, uh, that sound nice,’ Alex said, processing it. ‘But it’s a little too hasty, don’t you think?’ She was measuring Sara and the two men with a secret-agent level of distrust. Sara knew she worked for the DEO. Alex had no idea she knew.

Maggie took her hand. ‘I love it,’ she said, ‘and we weren’t going to go to work anyway. We should go.’

‘Yeah, Sara has flower crowns for you,’ Kara offered, and Sara took two rainbow crowns from her bag. There were none left now, only three different ties. She gave them to Maggie with a tiny smile.

Maggie put hers on and installed the other on Alex’s head despite her protests. ‘Look at you, it suits you,’ she said and kissed her cheek.

‘It suits you too, Maggie.’

‘So we can go?’

‘Yeah, I suppose spending some time with Kara and her friends won’t hurt.’

‘And mainly, having a good time being gay at a pride,’ said Sara, and that elicited a laugh from Alex.

‘Let’s go get Winn, then.’

Cisco punched the air. ‘And then the fun begins!’

Alex and Maggie gathered the things they needed to take with them, and the seven people left the flat to walk to the place Winn agreed to meet them at.

Sara turned her earpiece on and said to the team waiting on the Waverider, ‘Change of plans, guys, get off the ship and make sure it’s cloaked. Wait for us in the park.’

In a second came a reply from Zari, ‘Aye, captain, but can I ask why?’

They were supposed to take the ship back to Earth-1. Sara looked at Lena and convinced herself once again that this was a good idea. ‘We’ve got civilians, and we can’t just show them the ship,’ she answered quietly, ‘Cisco can breach us. He’s already given his powers away.’

‘Copy that. I’ll get everyone out.’

‘Perfect.’ She turned it off and saw Alex and Maggie were holding hands as they walked.

It wasn’t a long way to the meeting point Kara and Winn have agreed on. Winn was a nice, cheerful, nerdy guy and he and Cisco clicked right along. Sara gave him a pansexual flag tie, and learnt he was dating an alien girl who couldn’t come even though she wanted to.

Then Cisco mentioned his breaches again, and Winn just had to see it in practice, so Cisco took an advantage of that and breached them all into the park the Waverider was parked in. Eighteen people were waiting for them, which was a bit of a shock to Alex and Maggie but a nice surprise to Winn. He was excited to meet so many gay people who were, as he learnt later, from a different Earth altogether.

He was even more excited to be visiting said different Earth.

Who knows what he’d do if he found out about the big invisible time ship behind them.

‘Cisco?’ Barry prompted him.

Cisco got ready to create yet another breach. ‘Right away!’

‘And aim for Central City,’ said, rather unnecessarily, Nate.

It came from his hands, and appeared right in front of the colourful band. ‘After you,’ he said, and one by one, people came through. Sara and Ava were the last, only Cisco himself entered after them. He closed the breach as well.

By then, they were in front of the city hall, which was adorned with pride flags and balloons. People—hundreds of them, thousands even—in various states of bright dress and undress were everywhere round them, laughing, shouting, kissing, holding hands. There were couples, friends, families, even dogs, and music was playing from somewhere above. For a day, Central City was cheerful and celebratory.

Wally put his hands up. ‘That’s what I’m talking about!’

Zari copied him and hooted. ‘This is awesome! Guys, isn’t it awesome?’

Sara heard several yeahs and joined the group in cheering. She found Ava’s hand and joined their fingers. Ava was beaming too. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

Barry, Cisco, and Iris started waving little paper flags in the air furiously, and Curtis with Felicity joined them soon. The crew of the Waverider haven’t brought any flags, but they made up for it with their crowns. They were all in the air. The group joined the forming crowd and started to move toward the bay.

‘I didn’t know there would be so many people,’ Ava said.

Sara cocked her head. ‘You’ve never been to one?’

‘No. I didn’t have time, or anyone to go with.’

‘Well, you have me now, baby.’ Sara pulled in for a kiss; it was soft and sweet and short. People around them cheered.

‘That I do.’

Next to them walked Nate and Ray, holding hands. A man with a rainbow beard complimented Ray’s T-shirt, and Ray said that his beard was cool. He was shining.

Less so was Mick, whose brow was still furrowed at the mass of people around them. He grumbled something to Amaya. She linked her arm with his and smiled. Sara was certain that wouldn’t make him hate this less but was glad she tried. She was glad to see Amaya here with them.

She lost sight of Kara with Lena and Alex with Maggie, but that was probably for the better. She didn’t want to worry on this beautiful day. Winn, though, was chatting away with Cisco and Hartley as if they’ve known each other for years. He borrowed their flag.

‘This was a great idea, Nate,’ said Zari. She was walking behind Sara and Ava, surprisingly close to John and Gary. And also Nora Darhk. Sara wasn’t surprised anymore.

‘I know, right? This is even better than 1970.’

Ray turned to her as well. ‘The 1970 march was a part of history, though, and it made this,’ he pointed all round him, ‘possible. I think that’s cool.’

Nora pointed at Nate, ‘I thought he was the avid historian.’

Nate wove his arm round Ray’s waist and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. ‘He’s dating me for a reason, honey.’

Gary was grinning like a child who’s just unwrapped his Christmas presents the entire time. He was holding onto John so tightly Sara doubted the warlock was comfortable. ‘This is absolutely awesome, John!’ he exclaimed. ‘We have to do this every year.’

‘I’m glad you’re excited, love, but not with this attitude, we won’t. If you squeeze me any harder, I’ll end up face to face with the Devil’s little minion.’

‘Sorry,’ Gary said guiltily. He pulled away a little. ‘Why not the Devil?’

‘He’s on holiday, owns a club in LA.’

‘Oh. You mean for real?’

‘That’s right. I met him.’

Nora turned to him. ‘You met the Devil?’

‘Oh yeah. He’s quite a nice bloke, you’d be surprised. I think he was hitting on me. Didn’t want to give me my soul back, though.’

Gary swallowed. ‘Did you…?’

‘I still have some dignity left, believe it or not, love.’

Sara tried not to listen. She really did. But it was hard. She suppressed a shiver. She was familiar with the Devil’s face, and she didn’t want to see him again. ‘I met him,’ she said. Ava stiffened. ‘When I died. I was there.’

John looked at her with both astonishment and pity. ‘I know what that feels like.’

‘Yeah, well, then you I don’t want to go back.’ Her grip on Ava’s hand tightened on instinct. She thought she’s finally forgotten about all of her darkness, but it always had a way of coming back to her.

‘Sara,’ Ava whispered. She was rubbing circles on Sara’s hand. ‘You’re a good person. You’re the captain of the Legends. You won’t go to Hell.’

‘But I’m a killer.’ Sara didn’t notice they were still walking. She spiralled into her past. ‘That doesn’t go away.’ She remembered the little girl and her begging father, the same memory Malice showed her when she was trapped in her mind.

She felt John’s hand on her shoulder. ‘Lance,’ he said, ‘when I met Lucifer, he told me one thing. You only go to Hell if you think you deserve it, which I definitely do, but you don’t, so get yourself together, because pet here is right.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Sorry I mentioned him.’

‘It’s not your fault, John.’

‘It is. But really, the Devil isn’t all people think he is. He helps the police solve murders and plays the piano, and rumour has it he’s dating a detective. He’d also love to go to pride with his little demon friend. Just, think about that, will you?’

‘I’d never expect I’d need this pep talk from you of all people, but thanks.’

‘So hey, who wants ice cream?’ Zari asked, and it was the perfect diversion. She pointed somewhere to the right. ‘There’s a truck right there.’

Nate turned round. ‘Did you say ice cream?’

‘It’s actually rainbow ice cream,’ Wally noticed.

Ava stopped drawing shapes on Sara’s hand and started dragging her toward the ice cream truck. ‘Yeah, let’s do that.’

‘Hey, I heard you talking about rainbow ice cream,’ Kara said, appearing out of the blue. Well, if you had powers like hers… ‘I want some too.’

Sara gathered her strength and lifted her voice. ‘Everyone, we’re having ice cream and maybe some drinks too, so join us if you want some.’

Ava whispered, ‘That’s the captain I know.’

‘Yeah. I could really use a drink right now, though.’

‘I love that idea,’ John agreed. He was already being pulled to the truck by his overexcited boyfriend.

A wave of flags and flower crowns moved their way, and Sara felt like a middle school teacher trying to watch over a class of very hyperactive twenty-five. There was no way they would stick together and be good. They were the Legends and their friends at a pride; they were bound to cause a disaster at some point.

She really, really needed that drink. But there were only trucks and coffee shops round them. All she could do was copy Mick and get a beer or deal with the fact that ice cream was on the menu right now.

Gary went and bought two scoops. He was the first. John didn’t want any, so it was her and Ava’s turn. Ava bought only one scoop, but Sara went for three because maybe eating so much ice cream would momentarily freeze her brain. The four of them stood aside and waited for all their friends to get some of the cream too. It was one hell of a queue they made, so the wait was long. The sun warmed their backs and melted the fruity ice cream. Music continued to blare from speakers. People moved.

Nate, Ray, Zari, and Nora found a tree and sat under it. Amaya and Mick with his second beer joined them soon. Sara kept on standing and stuffing herself with rainbow-coloured ice. Ava was always next to her.

John was right and she knew that. But it was hard to get over the fact that Hell existed, that she’s been there before, and that she’s most likely going back anyway. It didn’t matter whether the Devil was there or not. It didn’t matter if he was helping people—if the Devil can be believed. Sara also knew she should be enjoying this party. One look at her family—that’s what her team was to her—and the corners of her mouth went up instantaneously. One look at her girlfriend, and she thought about nothing else. Then she looked away, and the darkness was back.

She wanted to be a canary and scream. Or punch someone. Or catch a genie messing with royalty in the 16th century. She wanted to something more useful than eating ice cream.

‘Sara!’ She returned back to reality. Amaya was calling her name. ‘Mick and I found a bar nearby, do you guys want to come with us?’

‘You bet we do,’ she said. ‘If you think we can leave the others alone out here?’

‘Wally has a radio,’ Zari pointed out. They were all standing in a circle around Sara and Ava. ‘We can call him if we need to gather or something. He’s with his sister and the others.’

‘And besides, it’s early, the parade doesn’t start until five,’ said Ray, and he was right.

‘Alright then, let’s go and get wasted.’

Zari frowned at her. ‘It’s hardly noon. I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

‘I think Sara really needs it right now,’ John replied. He threw Sara a knowing look.

‘You’re right I do.’ She finished crunching on the ice cream cone. ‘So where’s the bar?’

Mick answered, pointing, ‘Right behind the corner.’

‘Great.’ They set off. On the way, they crossed paths with many people who were also partaking in the pride, and earned many wolf-whistles, compliments, and smiles. The three couples were holding hands, and apparently, strangers seemed to think Zari and Nora and Mick and Amaya were also together, which was why they got so much attention. A group of ten friends, five couples—people were bound to be curious.

People were nice to them, mostly the same-sex couples they passed by. It was different from the behaviour they were used to, between fighting magical creatures and travelling into the past.

The bar really was close, and it was open because of the pride. They walked inside and separated into two groups so they could fit at the tables. Sara, Ava, Nate, Ray, John, and Gary occupied one table, and Zari, Nora, Amaya, and Mick took one next to them. The bartender approached them promptly.

‘Nice outfits,’ she said. ‘What can I get you?’


‘I’ll have the same.’

‘Whisky, neat.’

‘Some coke, I don’t drink.’

‘Double whisky, please.’

‘White wine for me.’


‘One Cosmopolitan.’

‘A pint of beer.’

‘I think I’ll have a Cosmopolitan too.’

The bartender wrote their orders down and went off to prepare the drinks. A young man tapped the beers while she poured the spirits and mixed cocktails for Ray and Gary.

‘I thought you didn’t drink,’ John said to Ray.

‘I don’t really like the taste of alcohol,’ he admitted, nodding. ‘But I like cocktails, they’re really sweet and it covers the taste.’

‘Cocktails are for ladies,’ Sara said. Yes, she was a lady, but a whisky lady, thank you very much.

‘I like them too,’ replied Gary, not very helpfully. He loosened his tie.

Nate laid his hands on the table. ‘I’m so glad we took the day off and did this. This is great.’

‘I agree,’ Gary said, and Ray hummed in agreement at the same time.

Sara could utter nothing more but a simple ‘Yeah.’

Their drinks arrived right when John was about to add a note of his own. They took them, thanked the bartender, and raised their glasses.

‘Cheers,’ Sara said, and downed her whisky. It burnt her throat all the way down. That was exactly what she needed. Alcohol was a better means of dulling one’s mind that ice-cream, after all. She waved for another shot.

After he knocked back his gin, Nate turned on his radio. ‘Wally, man, how are you doing?’

All the Legends heard the answer. ‘We’re great! There’s this inflatable rainbow man here and people selling balloons, we bought some and had a balloon battle.’ There was laughter and screams in the background. ‘Jax, Barry, Iris, and I versus Felicity, Curtis, Hartley, and Winn. Guess who won.’

Nate grinned. ‘You, of course.’

‘Of course. We also bought lemonade and met some of our high school friends. You don’t know what you’re missing.’

Ray answered this time, ‘We’ll join you later!’

There was some more talking on the other side of the radio. ‘Round two against you four, you say?’ Wally said to someone. ‘‘Course we’re up to it. Uh, that was Kara challenging us to a duel against the Earth-38 girls. Catch you later then!’

There was silence. Sara’s refill arrived. She knocked it back as fast as the first glass. She could already feel the alcohol in her head. That was good.

‘Balloon duels sound nice,’ Gary said. ‘Hey, John, do you know a spell that could make the balloons fight each other on their own?’

‘Basic object possession. It’s simple.’

Gary lit up. ‘Really? Can you teach me that too?’

‘If you think you can handle it, then why not, love.’

‘You’ve got, uh,’ Gary pointed at his own upper lip.

John wiped the white foam off his lip. ‘Ta.’

‘And of course I can handle it, I’m a level-nine warlock. I know far more advanced spells.’

‘In Dungeons and Dragons,’ Nate said, and Gary blushed.

‘I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count, Gary,’ Sara added, and leant against Ava’s shoulder. Ava put her arm round her; she was warm and comforting. Sara was already feeling a little better.

‘That doesn’t mean I can’t try. I’ve handled levitation quite well, actually, I made a book hang in the air for at least a minute, it was so exciting.’

‘That’s good for you, Gary,’ Ava said. He was sitting next to her, opposite John. Sara glanced at the other table: everyone’s cheeks were red with laughter, and their drinks were being sipped at slowly. Zari put her head on the table and continued to laugh. Nora lifted her finger and made a peanut levitate and fall onto Zari’s head, which earned another wave of laughter from the others. It seemed that she and Amaya got along quite well, in the end.

Gary noticed it too. ‘Hey, I can do that too! Hang on.’ Sara looked at him. He was staring at the bowl of salted peanuts on their table and put his hands up. He murmured something and moved one hand. Two peanuts moved up but fell onto the table immediately. Gary’s mood sank. ‘It worked the last time, I don’t know—’

‘You were naked the last time, so maybe it would work better if you took off your clothes.’

‘Haha, that’s very funny, John.’

‘I didn’t need to hear that.’ Ava buried her head in Sara’s shoulder. Sara could smell her shampoo again. It was lovely and familiar.

John moved his hand vaguely, and all the peanuts went up in the air. They held their position.

‘How are you doing that?’ Gary asked.

‘I’ve got years of practice, love,’ he said with a smirk. ‘Want to see something cool?’ Gary nodded, intrigued. John muttered some unintelligible words under his breath and moved his hand again. The peanuts aligned in the shape of a heart. Then he moved them back into the bowl and sipped his beer.

‘Honestly, John, I love you.’

‘I know.’

‘Ha! Star Wars quote!’ Nate shouted. John rolled his eyes.

Gary leant over the table. ‘I made him watch Star Wars with me.’

‘Nora, did you see what John did with those peanuts?’ Sara overheard Zari say. She looked their way again. Mick was emptying their bowl of nuts and drinking each mouthful down with beer. Amaya was nursing her glass slowly, a smile still on her lips.

‘No, what did he do?’ asked Nora.

Zari drew a heart in the air. ‘He shaped them into a heart. I think it was for Gary.’

Nora slapped Mick’s hand away from the bowl. ‘Give me those.’

He grunted but gave the bowl away. Nora sent them flying in an easy motion, just like John. Nate and Ray were watching her too. There were just enough peanuts to create two tiny hearts, which was exactly what she did. She sent one to their table. They fell down with a clattering sound and got John’s attention. The other one was still in the air.

People were staring now. But this was Central City, the home of all metahumans. Levitating peanuts were one of the less strange things they could see here.

‘So you think you’re better than me, Darhk?’ John cocked an eyebrow.

She shrugged. ‘I was born with magic.’

This wasn’t going to end up well. Sara had to intervene. ‘That’s enough, guys, no more peanut magic. We should probably finish our drinks and go.’

‘Sara’s right,’ Ava supported her.

‘Just when things were starting to get interesting,’ John sighed. ‘But alright, we can sort this out on the ship. What do you say?’ he prompted Nora.

‘May the better warlock win,’ she said dryly. She let go of the nuts. Mick grabbed them the second they were back in the bowl.

‘Just don’t damage the ship, please,’ Zari said, giving a warning look to the both of them. ‘I don’t want to be stuck on bright and shiny Earth-thirty-whatever.’ She finished her coke.

‘Yes, fine,’ Nora agreed, throwing her hands up in fake-surrender. Her glass was empty.

‘I can try,’ John said, and winked.

‘No trying, Constantine, the ship will stay in one piece,’ Sara warned him. Her look could send a man running scared. John reclined in his seat and said, ‘Alright, captain.’

He’s seen things too dark in his life to be scared of Sara Lance. So has she.

The team finished their drinks, and Sara called the bartender to pay. She pulled a bunch of notes out of her wallet and said she was paying for both tables. The woman—young, red-haired, beautiful—returned the change and smiled at Sara when she went back to the bar. Sara made a point of walking out of the bar hand in hand with Ava.

The streets were even livelier than before. Some people were dancing to the music. Many people were taking pictures and selfies. Everyone was happy. Joyous. Gay.

Zari had her mobile in her hand. ‘Let’s get one too, come on,’ she said and gestured for the team to huddle closer so they’d fit into the photo. She extended her hand as much as possible, camera set to a three-second timer. ‘Smile, we’re gay!’ She pressed the button. It captured the ten of them, making funny faces and wearing flower crowns. ‘I’ll put that one in a frame,’ Zari said when she looked at it. ‘One more. Come on, guys.’

They took three more selfies, always making different ridiculous grimaces. They were the Legends. They couldn’t have it any other way. Well, except for Mick, who wore an unimpressed expression at all times. But that was Mick. He was who he was.

Zari showed the pictures to them all. Sara smiled when she saw Ava and herself in the middle of the group. In one picture, Nate was giving her finger horns. In another, John was sticking his tongue out. Nora was pretending to kiss Zari’s cheek in the very one. In the last one, Amaya was covering Zari’s eyes.

‘Guys, we should take couple pictures,’ Nate suggested out of the blue. ‘Zari, give me your phone. Sara and Ava, you’re up.’

‘Do we have to?’ Sara asked. She scrunched her nose at Nate, who was already setting up the camera.

Ava took her hand. ‘Sara, baby, I want a picture from pride with you.’

‘Okay then. Do you want a specific pose or something?’

‘I don’t know, do we have to?’

‘Just stand next to each other and be cute,’ Nate said. ‘Three, two, one, say cheese.’

They were holding hands in the first one, holding each other round the shoulders in the second one, and kissing, much on Zari’s insistence, in the third one. Then it was Nate and Ray’s turn, and Zari was the one taking the pictures. She took five. Gary wanted to do it with John, who disagreed, so they ended up with only two pictures that were taken without their knowledge.

‘Do you and Nora want a photo too?’ Nate then asked Zari, and she glowered at him for half a minute.

‘Let’s do one with the four of us,’ Amaya suggested instead, quick to change the topic. She pointed at the two of them, Mick, and herself.

‘The singles picture, I like that,’ Zari said and handed her mobile back to Nate. She stood between Nora and Amaya, who was next to Mick. ‘Make crazy faces, guys.’

The girls did. Mick didn’t.

Then Amaya and Mick subtly removed themselves from the camera’s scope, leaving Zari and Nora on their own. Nate snapped three pictures. They’d be grateful for it later.

Nate returned the mobile. ‘We should get back to the rest of the group,’ he said.

Sara turned her radio on. ‘Wally, where are you? We’re going back.’

‘We’re on Third, still at the balloon stand. You can’t miss it,’ he radioed back and turned it off quickly. Sara suspected the balloon fights were still an ongoing business. She feared what state she was going to find her friends in.

‘You heard him, let’s get moving.’

‘Dancing on the way is compulsory,’ Zari added and moved her hips in the upbeat rhythm of the song that was currently playing from the speakers. Nate and Ray joined her with their awkward moves. So did Gary. It was hilarious to watch it. Sara was getting back into the positive mood she was in earlier that day. Not entirely, but at least a little.

Ava took both her hands and swung in the rhythm softly, prompting Sara to join her. She couldn’t resist that smile.

It didn’t take long before they caught up with the bigger part of their group on Third Avenue. Some of the crowns were crooked on their heads and the little flags found their way into various pockets, but apart from that, no one seemed injured. Sara was relieved.

‘So what’ve you been up to while we were gone?’ asked Nate. He checked everyone out.

Cisco threw him a purple balloon. ‘Doing all kinds of crazy stuff with these,’ he said.

‘And breaches,’ added Felicity. ‘It was great.’

‘Cisco is so cool,’ Winn hugged him round his neck. ‘He can send balloons across dimensions, man. He’s the coolest metahuman I know. The coolest trans person.’

‘Dude, did you smoke something?’ Nate asked.

‘Pot brownies,’ Cisco said instead of him. ‘There was this guy,’ he turned his head around in search for the guy, who was long gone, ‘he sells them. They’re great.’

‘Do you have more?’

‘Of course, I think of my buddies, who do you think I am.’ Cisco created a breach and pulled out four pieces of chocolate brownies that looked just like the normal ones but were anything but. ‘Hid them on Earth-6.’ He gave one to Nate.

Sara looked around in concern. ‘Who else has eaten them?’

‘Wally, I think, and Curtis, and Jax, and the kid,’ Cisco counted on his fingers.

Sara remembered Oliver’s son, and feared they’re given a brownie to him. That would be bad. ‘Which kid?’

‘Hartley,’ said Wally.

Luckily, Sara didn’t have to deal with a teenager ingesting pot on her watch, so she caught the balloon that flew her way and threw it at Ava. ‘Ever had a pot brownie, Aves?’

‘Don’t be silly, of course I haven’t.’

‘Well, you’re going to try one now.’ Sara took a piece from Cisco and broke it in half. She gave one to Ava, who took it with some measure of disgust. ‘Eat up, baby,’ she said and took a large bite. It’s been years since she’s had one herself. It must’ve been in college.

Ava bit off a small bit hesitantly. She chewed. ‘It’s not so bad, tastes like ordinary brownies.’

Sara ate the rest of her piece. ‘It does, but wait a few minutes and you’ll know it’s not just an ordinary brownie.’

‘Who else wants one?’ Cisco asked, holding the last two pieces.

‘I do,’ Rene said. ‘Love me some brownies.’ Cisco gave him the entirety of one rectangle.

John stepped forward, ‘Since you asked, squire, I’ll have the last one.’ He shoved it into his mouth and bit off two-thirds of it. He offered the rest to Gary, who declined, so he finished it off.

‘Now let’s dance and enjoy the pride, guys,’ Nate yelled. ‘Take those flags and wave them! Eat too much ice cream! Forget magic and parallel Earths and aliens and time travel exists!’

Cisco embraced him. He was wedged between Nate and Winn. ‘What he said!’

Nate disentangled himself from Cisco’s octopus limbs and gave Ray a loud smack on the cheek. ‘Dance with me, Ray. Dance with me.’ He took his hands. Ray put on a wide grin and began dancing again, holding Nate’s hands. ‘I love you, Ray.’

‘I love you too!’

Sara raised an eyebrow at Ava. ‘Care to dance, Ava Lance?’

Ava giggled. ‘That’s not my name.’

‘But it could be,’ Sara grinned, and rolled the name on her tongue again. Ava Lance. Hasn’t Wally mentioned it in the chat at some point?

‘Or you could be Sara Sharpe.’

‘That works too.’ Sara started to move, expecting Ava to follow suit just as before. She did. ‘Hey, Ava. Who would’ve thought this could happen, half a year ago?’ she asked. It was a rhetorical question. ‘We’re the Legends, we’re at a pride, we’re gay, and we’re dancing to terrible music that isn’t really good for dancing.’

Chapter Text



Trenchcoat: @rayofsunshine what do I do when I want to add someone who’s never been on the ship?

rayofsunshine: I’m not sure that’s a good idea, John. Wait. Are you talking about some of our pride friends? If so, send this link to their number: https://waveriderchatroom.html/new?=join

ZariIsTheBest: you coded this in HTML? amateur

rayofsunshine: Well, not everyone is as skilled at coding as you are, Zari.

Trenchcoat: Thanks, mate. I’m doing this for Sara

ZariIsTheBest: I didn’t know you had the wellbeing of other people on your mind

Trenchcoat: I do in this case

ZariIsTheBest: so anyway how is everyone? nursing your hangovers?

gayforray: uh don’t even speak

notbarryallen: I’m great

animalgirl: Of course you are, with your speedster metabolism.

MissTimeBureau: Sara is lying in our bed face down and swears every time there’s a new message

notbarryallen: yikes, that bad?

rayofsunshine: Guys, we should probably have breakfast. Food always makes things better!

gayforray: it’s 8 am, baby, and I’m sick, I’m not having breakfast

rayofsunshine: But you have to admit yesterday was the best day we’ve had in months.

ZariIsTheBest: with that, I agree

animalgirl: Yeah, it was great.

AgentGeek: It was beyond great! I want to go again

ZariIsTheBest: and you will, Gary, next year

ZariIsTheBest: we are going to the New York one, right?

gayforray: it’s the anniversary of Stonewall so yeah we’re going but don’t talk about it now, okay

animalgirl: Someone’s grumpy despite having the time of his life.

gayforray: a word of advice: don’t drink with Sara trying to get wasted on purpose

notbarryallen: if you’re not a speedster lol

animalgirl: I had a half of what you did, and I still feel awful.

MiniDarhk: why are you texting at 8 am I’m trying to sleep here

MiniDarhk: unsuccessfully

ZariIsTheBest: blame John, he started the conversation

rayofsunshine: Where is he, anyway? He said he wanted to add someone.

MiniDarhk: don’t care

MiniDarhk: and please stop giggling under that blanket, animal girl, I can hear it

notbarryallen: wait, amaya slept over in your room

animalgirl: It’s the largest one, so it was logical.

notbarryallen: is anyone else thinking what I’m thinking

ZariIsTheBest: I know what you’re thinking and I want you to stop

animalgirl: I second that.

MiniDarhk: yeah

Lancelot: I want you to be quiet but I guess that’s not happening

Lancelot: Good freaking morning team

MiniDarhk: zari said john’s to blame

MiniDarhk: personally I want to choke him with peanuts

rayofsunshine: Have you decided who’s the best warlock yet?

MiniDarhk: that’s on the agenda later today

MiniDarhk: 🔥

Trenchcoat: 🔥

Trenchcoat: Welcome our guest, team

Trenchcoat: And believe me when I say I don’t want him here either, but @Lancelot needs to have a chat with him


thedevil joined Legends of Gay™


thedevil: hello, humans. constantine told me you needed me, so here I am

thedevil: is this one of those anonymous roleplay chats where you can have online sex with people

ZariIsTheBest: um, NO

notbarryallen: but let’s be fair, with john and gary it sometimes looks that way

notbarryallen: who are you, anyway

thedevil: what it says on the tin, I’m the devil. my name is lucifer morningstar 😈

Trenchcoat: And I’m calling in the favour you owe me

MiniDarhk: you really are the devil?

thedevil: yes, though you humans still don’t seem to get it. I wonder why is that

MiniDarhk: well I met your little pet malice. it wasn’t nice

thedevil: I heard that he was dead, was that you?

gayforray: it was a collective effort

thedevil: well done

ZariIsTheBest: I thought you’d be mad and kill us or something

thedevil: why on earth would I kill you, you rid me of the pest that was destroying my hellish potatoes, and besides, I don’t even know who or where you are

thedevil: so, constantine, what do you need me to do

Trenchcoat: Tell @Lancelot here how things really work down there

thedevil: well, where to begin

Lancelot: Are you people serious?

Lancelot: I met you

thedevil: alright, and when might that be?

Lancelot: I died in 2014 and went to hell. It felt like an eternity of torture when I was there

thedevil: 2014? I don’t know who do you think you’ve met but it definitely wasn’t me, I was happily partying in los angeles by then. must have been one of my demons

thedevil: and you got out? how interesting

Trenchcoat: I got her soul out, in fact. The Lazarus Pit did the rest

thedevil: ah, the pit, clever thing. pity it was destroyed

thedevil: did you know that a brother of mine once dropped a feather from his wings, it landed on earth near a stream in the mountains, and ever since, the stream has been reported to have healing abilities? what a klutz he was

Lancelot: Do you really want me to believe that an angel’s feather created the pit?

thedevil: and what did you think gave the pool its powers, martians?

ZariIsTheBest: we’ve actually met a martian

thedevil: really? I haven’t had the pleasure yet

ZariIsTheBest: well, it was on another earth. he’s kind of a superhero

thedevil: there are superheroes and different dimensions now? you just got interesting

Lancelot: Well, I don’t like that you’re here if you really are what you say you are, Lucifer

thedevil: well, lancelot, constantine told me to tell you how things work. so, since you’ve been to hell before you know what that’s like, and I’m assuming you don’t want to go back, is that correct?

Lancelot: Yes

thedevil: I knew a human exactly like you, well, except she was in hell because my mother escaped hell and chose charlotte’s body as a vessel, and then I send my mum into a dimension of her own and charlotte came back. anyway, you’re probably wondering if there’s a way. of course there’s a way. hell isn’t permanent, anyone can get out if they think they no longer deserve it, which is the funniest part about the whole thing. you don’t go to hell as long as you think you don’t deserve to be there. is that enough?

ZariIsTheBest: wait, what’s that part about your mother?

thedevil: my mother, the goddess of all creation, yes. she was in hell, then she was on earth, now she’s dad knows where

thedevil: I like you, finally there’s someone who knows who I am and isn’t scared of me

ZariIsTheBest: I’m Muslim and I grew up on the run from a government organization, I see things a little differently

thedevil: oh, right, well, you may call my dad another name but it’s still him, you can be sure about that

Lancelot: John said the same thing, but that’s just it, I deserve to be there. I’m an assassin. I’ve killed people

MissTimeBureau: Okay, I’ll gloss over the fact that the Devil is probably talking to us right now and say this one more time, Sara. Your past doesn’t define you. Look at me, I’m a clone. And I’m working on getting over that. You can get over your darkness too.

thedevil: what’s this about a clone?

ZariIsTheBest: it’s complicated

thedevil: I love when things get complicated. the clone is lancelot’s girlfriend, I presume?

MissTimeBureau: Call me that again and I don’t care who you are, I’ll come over and punch you.

MissTimeBureau: But yes, Sara and I are dating.

Lancelot: Thanks for that, Aves

thedevil: she’s a badass, I like that

MissTimeBureau: Ava, my name is Ava.

thedevil: well, this is fun

thedevil: now, when we got your problem out of the way, maybe you could help me with a problem of my own since my therapist is on holiday?

ZariIsTheBest: the devil has a therapist?

thedevil: yes, I do. you humans always have a talent for stating the obvious, don’t you?

MiniDarhk: I don’t like it when we’re called “us humans”

thedevil: sorry, people then, better?

MiniDarhk: yes

ZariIsTheBest: so what’s your problem, Lucifer

thedevil: see, I’m dating this woman, chloe, and she has a child. she had to go away to some sort of police whatnot and wouldn’t take me with you but she left me custody of the child. what do you think that means? she’s never done that before

rayofsunshine: I think that means she trusts you unconditionally, because her child is very important to her, right? And she gave them to you, so you’re important to her too, and she trusts you.

rayofsunshine: Sorry, we haven’t met yet. My name’s Ray Palmer. Nice to meet you.

thedevil: ah, you’re the chap gayforray is gay for

thedevil: And yes, that was what I thought as well, but it could also mean she wants to get rid of me because she didn’t take me with her and left me with her annoying offspring instead

gayforray: yeah, I’m Nate, I’m Ray’s boyfriend, and I’m very hungover

rayofsunshine: Should she take her with you? I mean, you’re the Devil.

thedevil: I am a civilian consultant for the lapd, try to keep up

rayofsunshine: We didn’t know that.

thedevil: right, my bad. so, what do you think, sunshine?

rayofsunshine: I don’t think she wanted to get rid of you. I mean, she’s with you for a reason, right? Does she know who you are?

thedevil: yes, I showed her my devil face a few months ago, rather unintentionally, I must say

ZariIsTheBest: since she didn’t run off she must really love you, right?

thedevil: I suppose she does, yes

ZariIsTheBest: do you love her back?

thedevil: I suppose I do

ZariIsTheBest: well then I think she really trusts you to take care of her child

thedevil: thank you, muslim girl

ZariIsTheBest: my name’s Zari, thanks

ZariIsTheBest: your nicknames are worse than Mick’s

thedevil: why, thank you

ZariIsTheBest: not a compliment

gayforray: so, Lucifer, you work for the police?

thedevil: I help solve murders

thedevil: it’s how I met the detective, I mean, chloe

notbarryallen: that’s cool

notbarryallen: my dad’s the captain of the police, and so was sara’s

notbarryallen: I’m wally west

thedevil: who are you people, anyway, and why is nate hungover, did you have fun last night? 😉

ZariIsTheBest: we went to a pride yesterday and those idiots got drunk

thedevil: oh, I see, you’re my kind of people then

thedevil: did you get phone numbers of ten different people, snog a stranger, and ate too much rainbow ice cream?

gayforray: no, no, and some of us did

rayofsunshine: Most of us are in a happy relationship, thank you.

gayforray: we had pot brownies though

gayforray: and way too much to drink

Lancelot: So you’re just gonna talk to him?

ZariIsTheBest: after the stuff we’ve seen, the devil is the least of my concerns, captain

thedevil: captain? what are you, some sort of a team?

Trenchcoat: Yes, exactly, one I’d rather not be a part of

MiniDarhk: one I never thought I could be a part of but here I am, sleeping in one room with zari and amaya

thedevil: ooh, so you girls had a threesome? I support that

notbarryallen: lol you too

ZariIsTheBest: we most definitely didn’t have a threesome, why does everyone keep saying that

ZariIsTheBest: I’m ace

animalgirl: and I’m leaving the ship after breakfast

thedevil: even more reasons why to get at it 😉

thedevil: so you’ve got a ship? what, something like the tardis?

gayforray: d o c t o r w h o

rayofsunshine: As a matter of fact, we do have a ship like the TARDIS, minus the bigger on the inside thing.

MiniDarhk: 🔥➡️😈☠️

thedevil: I hate to break it to you, darling, but I can’t die

MiniDarhk: I’d still try

thedevil: but unlike my stupid brother you can speak emoji, I like you

rayofsunshine: Your brothers are angels, right? Actual angels?

thedevil: a penny for your thought!

thedevil: I have sisters, too

Trenchcoat: If you ever see Manny again, tell him to bugger off, because he can’t seem to take it from me

thedevil: believe me, I tell him often enough, but I must say I haven’t heard that nickname in a while

AgentGeek: So angels are real too now? That’s so awesome!

AgentGeek: I’m

AgentGeek: John’s boyfriend

thedevil: you really do live up to the legends of gay name, I see

ZariIsTheBest: so what’s your deal

thedevil: I prefer women but won’t say no to a fit handsome man, thank you very much

thedevil: I’ve had my way with many famous men of history, oscar wilde, achilles, dear old will

gayforray: you’ve met Shakespeare and Achilles, that’s not fair

gayforray: we only get to meet people like George Washington, which, I admit, is also pretty cool, but still

thedevil: so you are time travellers? very nice

thedevil: I’ve never met a time traveller before

Lancelot: Nate, really

gayforray: sorry I can’t think straight right now

thedevil: nice one, nate

Trenchcoat: I told you he was hitting on me

thedevil: not my proudest moment, I admit

Trenchcoat: I’m handsome enough

AgentGeek: You are. You most definitely are

Trenchcoat: I know

AgentGeek: Since we don't seem to be getting up any time soon, do you wanna

AgentGeek: You know

Trenchcoat: Put down your mobile and leave your glasses on

AgentGeek: Yes sir

notbarryallen: told you

ZariIsTheBest: it was a matter of time

thedevil: you people most certainly are interesting

thedevil: this is so much better than tending to the child

ZariIsTheBest: you’re neglecting your girlfriend’s child because of us? don’t be an idiot, man, and go

thedevil: she’s watching telly and I gave her some cake so I think I’m good

rayofsunshine: You gave her cake for breakfast? And what time is it in LA, 6 in the morning?

thedevil: some time after six, yes, why? and besides, she asked for it

rayofsunshine: You shouldn’t give a child cake for breakfast because they ask for it, Lucifer. They’ll think they can get away with anything then, and that’s not good.

thedevil: I’m pretty sure chloe told me something like that a couple times, actually

ZariIsTheBest: if you keep on spoiling her daughter like that she’ll break up with you, believe me

thedevil: so you’re saying I shouldn’t give the child cake when she asks for it even though it’s her favourite? alright, I’ll give her cash then

ZariIsTheBest: no, Lucifer, give her oats or toast or whatever she normally eats for breakfast, and no cash, that’s against the very same principle

ZariIsTheBest: but seriously, just go play with her

notbarryallen: what’s her name?

thedevil: beatrice, but everyone calls her trixie

notbarryallen: here’s a tip, take trixie to a playground or something, I loved doing that with my mom when I was a kid

notbarryallen: or not but you get the idea

thedevil: fine, whatever you say

ZariIsTheBest: hey, Wally, you haven’t seen that selfie we’ve taken yesterday, right?

notbarryallen: no, gimme

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: pride1.jpeg]

ZariIsTheBest: this is the first out of a ton

notbarryallen: guys you’re cute

Lancelot: That we are

ZariIsTheBest: except Mick

gayforray: oh my god, Ray, that face

rayofsunshine: I was told to make weird faces.

thedevil: so that’s you? I can see constantine and his trenchcoat there

thedevil: nice outfits

rayofsunshine: My T-shirt was the best.

notbarryallen: barry’s outfit was the best

ZariIsTheBest: ^^

thedevil: which one is barry?

gayforray: he’s not in the photo but he was dressed as an ace flag

animalgirl: Can this device download images? Because I’d like to keep it.

rayofsunshine: It can take screenshots, just press the tiny button on the left with the rectangle on it for two seconds.

animalgirl: It worked, thank you.

ZariIsTheBest: do you really have to go???

animalgirl: I’m sorry, Zari, but I do. I’ll still be here though.

thedevil: I took a screenshot too, that picture was hilarious

thedevil: you should visit me in the city of angels sometime

thedevil: I broached the subject of going out to the child and she said yes

thedevil: [image attached: luciferandtrixie.jpeg]

ZariIsTheBest: she’s adorable

MiniDarhk: you might want to wipe that chocolate off her mouth first though

gayforray: wow the devil really is handsome

rayofsunshine: I hope you won’t leave me and run off with him.

gayforray: he’s not as handsome as you

gayforray: so don’t worry

thedevil: that must be true love then

thedevil: lucifer out


thedevil left Legends of Gay™


ZariIsTheBest: shall we finally have breakfast now?

gayforray: yeah, it won’t get much better anyway

MiniDarhk: I’m not going back to sleep at any rate so why not

Lancelot: Thank Lucifer’s dad, I’m starving

MissTimeBureau: So you’re better now, Sara?

Lancelot: A bit

Trenchcoat: See? You needed to talk to him

Lancelot: Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I’m thanking you, John

Lancelot: Whoever gets to the kitchen first, please make me a cup of coffee

notbarryallen: copy that

Chapter Text



ZariIsTheBest: Mick, don’t give Nora and John fire so they could make fireballs. we agreed not to let them do that

Lancelot: Excuse me, what exactly is happening?

gayforray: the duel for the best sorcerer

gayforray: in the cargo space

gayforray: because it was fireproofed

MissTimeBureau: I still think the Waverider wasn’t meant for such things.

ZariIsTheBest: you and I both, Ava

Lancelot: Is anyone watching it at least?

ZariIsTheBest: I am, on the cameras

gayforray: I’m behind the door

grunt: why shouldn’t I let them have fire, it’s more fun

rayofsunshine: And it’s also more dangerous, Mick.

grunt: exactly

animalgirl: So who is winning this duel, Nora or Constantine?

gayforray: so far it’s very tight

ZariIsTheBest: who are you rooting for, Amaya?

animalgirl: I’m not sure.

animalgirl: But I think Nora will win.

AgentGeek: John is definitely going to win

gayforray: like you aren’t biased

Lancelot: I’m betting on Nora if you ask me

notbarryallen: now here’s an idea

ZariIsTheBest: Wally, no

notbarryallen: wally yes

notbarryallen: who wants to place bets

Lancelot: Okay, I’m in

AgentGeek: Same

gayforray: ten bucks on Nora

Lancelot: Twenty

notbarryallen: ten on constantine

AgentGeek: Ten dollars on John

ZariIsTheBest: ok, fine, ten bucks on Nora

grunt: twenty on trenchcoat

rayofsunshine: I’m placing ten dollars on Nora.

MissTimeBureau: Are you all seriously doing this?

Lancelot: Yeah

MissTimeBureau: Five dollars on Darhk.

Lancelot: Only five, Aves?

MissTimeBureau: Constantine is good, I won’t risk losing my money over this petty competition.

notbarryallen: @Jaxon @MiniStein @animalgirl?

animalgirl: I’m not on the ship, I can’t participate.

animalgirl: But if I were, I’d place my money on Nora.

notbarryallen: nooo

Jaxon: i don’t really know either of them so idk

MiniStein: My money would definitely be on Nora winning.

ZariIsTheBest: Mick, really, do you want me to tell Gideon to turn the emergency fire protocol on

gayforray: I didn’t even know we had one

ZariIsTheBest: the ship has many secrets you will never know

grunt: fine, no more fire, I get it

grunt: a man can’t even have fun being locked up here for four years

Lancelot: Just go and find yourself another way of entertainment if you’re so bored, Mick

grunt: no this fight is interesting

Lancelot: That’s it, I’m going over there

AgentGeek: So am I, I have to cheer for my boyfriend

ZariIsTheBest: are you sure you won’t be more of a distraction, though

AgentGeek: Hang on, that’s true. What do I do

notbarryallen: don’t listen to her and just go, gary

notbarryallen: alright I’m here

notbarryallen: what happened to the boxes we had there?

ZariIsTheBest: John miniaturized them at one point

rayofsunshine: He can miniaturize objects with magic? Suddenly I feel useless again.

gayforray: baby, you’re not useless. you’re amazing

gayforray: how many times do I have to tell you, we need you, Ray

ZariIsTheBest: John is cool but he doesn’t have the atom suit

ZariIsTheBest: you created that yourself

gayforray: ily

rayofsunshine: Thank you, guys. But I’m still a little jealous.

Lancelot: Don’t be, he’s currently being pressed to a wall and choked by a very much victorious Nora Darhk

Lancelot: Told you guys

Lancelot: Give us your money, losers

notbarryallen: that’s not fair

notbarryallen: I really thought john’s gonna win

gayforray: well that’s life

ZariIsTheBest: I can see that smug grin, Darhk

MiniDarhk: well it couldn’t have ended any other way, could it

MiniDarhk: I knew you guys were watching 😘

Trenchcoat: That wasn’t fair, she caught me off guard

notbarryallen: I bet that lucifer fella would’ve wanted to watch that

Lancelot: “that Lucifer fella” is literally the devil, how do you keep being so oblivious

ZariIsTheBest: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ZariIsTheBest: the cargo bay camera saves recordings so

ZariIsTheBest: @Trenchcoat if you give me his number

Trenchcoat: That I won’t, do you really want to embarrass me in front of the Devil?

MiniDarhk: I’d let him watch it

gayforray: anyway, a little bird (hint: drunken you) told me Ava asked you to live with her, Sara

gayforray: is that true?

gayforray: and did you accept?

MissTimeBureau: Yes, it’s true, and Sara hasn’t replied yet.

MissTimeBureau: Sorry again if that was too straightforward.

Lancelot: No, Ava, you have nothing to apologize for

Lancelot: I just needed some time to think about it

Lancelot: And this is stupid to say here but I’ve come to the conclusion I’d really like to move in with you, love

Lancelot: After all, I need a place to stay away from these idiots sometimes

MissTimeBureau: Sara, that’s amazing. And you’re right.

MissTimeBureau: I love you <3

Lancelot: I love you too, Aves <3

gayforray: excuse me, who are you calling idiots here

Lancelot: You know what I meant. I love you guys but you can be tiring to spend so much time around

gayforray: oh, I know

ZariIsTheBest: and that’s great news, Sara!!!

notbarryallen: you guys are all making progress

notbarryallen: it’s adorable

notbarryallen: zari 👀

ZariIsTheBest: I have no idea what you’re talking about

rayofsunshine: I’m so happy for you, Sara and Ava!

rayofsunshine: I see you’re following our example.

Lancelot: Yeah, but like, on the next level

Lancelot: Because you and Nate just share a room on the Waverider

rayofsunshine: That’s fair.

gayforray: so does that mean you won’t be here so often anymore

Lancelot: I’ll come for missions and game nights, you won’t get rid of me that easily

MissTimeBureau: And there still is this thing.

Lancelot: Exactly

Lancelot: I just hope you won’t cause any serious damage without my presence

rayofsunshine: You know what, this calls for another celebration.

ZariIsTheBest: we do that a lot

gayforray: we have many reasons to celebrate

Lancelot: I agree

Lancelot: But for now I should get back to Ava and work out the details

notbarryallen: looks like zari and I are good at these things so let’s plan it

animalgirl: I’m late, but that’s great, Sara! I’m glad you and Ava are happy together.

ZariIsTheBest: sure, Wally

ZariIsTheBest: donuts were a success the last time

animalgirl: Please, don’t talk about donuts again.

ZariIsTheBest: sorry, Amaya

ZariIsTheBest: but you had like four for breakfast today so I don’t know why are you complaining

animalgirl: On principle.

notbarryallen: but this is for our captain so maybe we should go for something fancier than donuts and ice cream and cheesy music

gayforray: champagne wasn’t fancy enough for you?

notbarryallen: that part was fancy

MiniDarhk: you throwing a party every time someone gets a little further in their relationship really is a thing, isn’t it

MiniDarhk: I wonder what it’ll look like when you’ll get married

notbarryallen: honestly? same

notbarryallen: who do you think will tie the knot first

gayforray: definitely avalance

rayofsunshine: You said that very quickly.

gayforray: anything on your mind, sunshine?

rayofsunshine: I don’t know, I just.

gayforray: thought it would be us?

gayforray: are you asking

rayofsunshine: No! That’s not what I meant. Not that I wouldn’t want to marry you. I love you. But it’s too soon for that.

gayforray: yeah I know you proposed to Kendra after two years so

rayofsunshine: Anyway, this is awkward. I shouldn’t have said anything.

rayofsunshine: I also think Sara and Ava will definitely get married first.

ZariIsTheBest: I’d be really surprised if it were John and Gary

notbarryallen: lol yeah

notbarryallen: did you hear avalance on pot brownies?

notbarryallen: sara literally said “care to dance, ava lance”

ZariIsTheBest: she did WHAT

gayforray: I think I remember something like that

ZariIsTheBest: they are most definitely endgame

rayofsunshine: After everything she’s been through, Sara deserves a normal life and a wife who loves her.

Lancelot: What are you guys talking about here

Lancelot: All that is private, thank you

Lancelot: But you’re not wrong

rayofsunshine: So, were you really thinking about it?

Lancelot: Not seriously, but

Lancelot: Yeah

Lancelot: Were you 👀

rayofsunshine: We’ve been together for a month, Sara.

gayforray: actually it’s 26 days

MissTimeBureau: We’ve been together for four months. Does that answer your question?

gayforray: if it answers yours

Lancelot: Fair

gayforray: so since we’re talking about that, where is Constantine, anyway

MiniDarhk: probably sulking somewhere

AgentGeek: With me

AgentGeek: Teaching me more magic

AgentGeek: In the literal sense

ZariIsTheBest: don’t worry we’re used to you by now

notbarryallen: are we though

AgentGeek: Alright well I was showing him some magic in the figurative sense too

ZariIsTheBest: idk how about you but I totally saw that coming

ZariIsTheBest: I’ve been on this ship longer than you, after all

notbarryallen: true

MiniDarhk: so is he sulking

Trenchcoat: 🖕

Trenchcoat: You people don’t deserve to have me and my gorgeous arse on this ship

Chapter Text



Lancelot: Consider Ava and me officially living together

Lancelot: [image attached: thelastbox.jpeg]

ZariIsTheBest: that’s great!!!

gayforray: good for you two, Sara

MiniDarhk: should we like congratulate you

MiniDarhk: we’ve all seen that coming

rayofsunshine: Yes, Nora, it’s polite to congratulate our friends on moving together. It’s a big step in their relationship.

rayofsunshine: Congrats, Sara and Ava!

ZariIsTheBest: but it’s true that we’ve seen that coming

Lancelot: I haven’t

MissTimeBureau: I was afraid you’d say no.

Lancelot: For a little while, so was I

Lancelot: But I love you too much

MissTimeBureau: Even if you did say no, I’d still love you, Sara. You know I’m in this with you no matter how fast you want to go.

Lancelot: I do

notbarryallen: late but

notbarryallen: congrats guys! that’s amazing

animalgirl: Congratulations!

grunt: it also means we get to do what we want on the ship when blondie’s gone

Lancelot: No, Mick, it doesn’t. I’m not gone, I’m not sleeping on the ship, there’s a difference between that

MissTimeBureau: And we’re watching you.

grunt: creepy

gayforray: so will you have a housewarming party or something?

notbarryallen: zari and I are working on that 🎉

ZariIsTheBest: you bet we are

Lancelot: Should I be worried?

ZariIsTheBest: nope, all good, promise you’ll love it

MissTimeBureau: Should I be worried?

notbarryallen: you know us legends

ZariIsTheBest: and our game nights

ZariIsTheBest: speaking of, I just got word from Gideon about something called, uh, wendigo? in 2023 California

Lancelot: Should I come over?

rayofsunshine: No, captain, you enjoy a day off with your girlfriend, I’m sure we can handle one mission without you.

MissTimeBureau: Are you sure?

gayforray: no, we’ll definitely screw up, but we’ll fix it in the end

Lancelot: Okay, I think I’ll let it slide just this once, but only because I don’t want to get up from this very comfy sofa Ava and I are currently watching a movie on

animalgirl: Aww.

Trenchcoat: Ah, wendigo, it’s a bloody cannibalistic monster from Algonquian folklore, typically seen in Canada or North America. I’ve never heard of one in California

gayforray: why do we always get the nasty buggers

gayforray: I expected more unicorns and, you know, nice creatures

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, me too

grunt: the ghoul was fun

gayforray: of course you would think so, Mick

MiniDarhk: did you say 2023

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, why?

MiniDarhk: brings back memories

ZariIsTheBest: I remember, I was 9 and knew nothing about totems and time travel

ZariIsTheBest: what a nice world it was when you were an ignorant child

MiniDarhk: I was 21 and very far from that

MiniDarhk: couldn’t even celebrate my birthday and get drunk because I had a demon inside me

Trenchcoat: You do realise what that sounds like

MiniDarhk: shut up

ZariIsTheBest: Nora, I’m sorry

MiniDarhk: …don’t be, it’s fine, it was all my own fault

rayofsunshine: Now, don’t talk like that, Nora. It was your dad in a pact with the demon. We know it wasn’t your fault.

MiniDarhk: I beg to differ

MiniDarhk: but whatever, palmer

ZariIsTheBest: so are we gonna go and catch that wendigo or not

gayforray: on our way

notbarryallen: who’s driving

ZariIsTheBest: I guess that would be me

notbarryallen: strap in properly, then

MiniDarhk: yep

ZariIsTheBest: do you have anything to say about my piloting skills

Lancelot: Actually

ZariIsTheBest: Mick can fly if he wants

grunt: fine, I’ll do it

Trenchcoat: I’d prefer miss Tomaz flying, to be quite fair

gayforray: me too

animalgirl: Oh, definitely. Remember the time Mick landed us on a tree?

ZariIsTheBest: who wouldn’t

notbarryallen: ok no more complaining

ZariIsTheBest: that’s what I thought

ZariIsTheBest: now come here and strap in

animalgirl: So how are things with you, Sara?

Lancelot: Perfect

Lancelot: [image attached: movieswithmygf.jpeg]

MissTimeBureau: It’s nice to have a day off work and enjoy our time together.

Lancelot: In our new place ;)

MissTimeBureau: In my old place, you mean.

Jaxon: i just logged in and what don’t i see

Jaxon: guys that’s great!!

Lancelot: Thank you, Jax!

Lancelot: And I know :))

Lancelot: So are you and your girlfriend up to something?

Jaxon: making dinner

Jaxon: [image attached: futurecaesarsalad.jpeg]

MissTimeBureau: That looks great.

animalgirl: It does.

Jaxon: i hope it tastes great too, im not rly good at this

animalgirl: I’m sure she’ll appreciate the effort.

Jaxon: she told me to send u this

Jaxon: [image attached: thumbsup.jpeg]

animalgirl: Jax, your girlfriend is gorgeous.

Jaxon: i know ;)

Jaxon: but rly guys do u go on missions in the evening now

MissTimeBureau: It’s 4 P.M. in LA.

Lancelot: Which, I’m sure, the creature doesn’t know, because all it cares about it eating people, not what time it is

Jaxon: yikes that sounds awful

Jaxon: thank you, whoever you are ;) <3 I appreciate you calling me gorgeous

Jaxon: yeah I stole his cell. hey guys

Lancelot: Hey, Carly. Looks like you’re having a great evening

animalgirl: Hi, I’m Amaya, we haven’t met.

Jaxon: hey! yeah I know, I’m sorry I missed the pride

Lancelot: [image attached: pride1.jpeg]

Lancelot: So are we. Here’s a photo at least

Lancelot: The one on Zari’s left is Amaya, by the way

Jaxon: cute

Jaxon: hey man she’s my gf alright don’t introduce her to amaya

Lancelot: I see you won your phone back

Jaxon: tough fight

animalgirl: Don’t worry, Jax, I’m still back in 1942, nothing would happen.

Jaxon: im kidding

Jaxon: but still she called her cute

ZariIsTheBest: so we’re in 2023

ZariIsTheBest: all we have to do now is find the thing

Lancelot: Don’t let it eat you

gayforray: don’t worry nothing can eat me

Trenchcoat: Are you sure

gayforray: oh for god’s sake, Constantine

Jaxon: im just gonna pass that and ask how’s the future

rayofsunshine: Mostly the same as 2018, only there are more electric cars.

rayofsunshine: Hey, Jax!

Jaxon: hey man

Jaxon: one of them is definitely mine

MissTimeBureau: The Time Bureau already uses electric cars, actually.

Jaxon: nice

notbarryallen: hell yeah

rayofsunshine: We’ve got a location on the wendigo, gotta suit up and go!

notbarryallen: [image attached: johnwendigo.jpeg]

notbarryallen: that’s how we do it on the waverider, we catch monsters and look good doing it

Jaxon: b99 reference!!!

Lancelot: Noice

notbarryallen: you too!

Lancelot: Doesn’t everyone know that show?

animalgirl: I don’t.

Lancelot: Correction: doesn’t everyone who lives in 2018 know that show?

MissTimeBureau: I don’t know that show.

Lancelot: Well, Aves, I guess I know what to watch next

Trenchcoat: Did you say I look good, squire?

notbarryallen: more like cool

AgentGeek: You look great

Trenchcoat: Oh I know

ZariIsTheBest: guess who we met on the crime scene

MissTimeBureau: Crime scene?

ZariIsTheBest: the wendigo killed and ate a couple, it was gross

ZariIsTheBest: and it was a police investigation

Lancelot: Right

animalgirl: I did not need to know that.

ZariIsTheBest: sorry

Jaxon: well who was it, kendrick lamar?

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: zariandlucifer.jpeg]

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: zariandthemorningstars.jpeg]

Lancelot: Is that Lucifer? As in, the devil?

notbarryallen: yup

notbarryallen: he remembered us, can you believe

ZariIsTheBest: also in 2023 he and Chloe are married

MissTimeBureau: Wait, what?

Trenchcoat: I can hardly believe that either

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, they told me they tied the knot in 2020

ZariIsTheBest: she’s amazing, by the way

notbarryallen: we might or might not be on our way to lux now

Lancelot: Alright, do what you want, but know that I won’t save your asses from any trouble that comes out of it. That’s just too much

Lancelot: I need this peaceful evening to turn into a peaceful night with Brooklyn nine-nine and maybe a bath and housewarming sex, not another legends-induced catastrophe

ZariIsTheBest: copy that, we’ll stay out of (further) trouble

Trenchcoat: Enjoy the bath and the sex, love

Trenchcoat: And think of me, will ya?

Lancelot: NO

Lancelot: What do you mean, further trouble?

notbarryallen: don’t ask

notbarryallen: you don’t want to know

Lancelot: You’re right, I better don’t

Lancelot: But seriously, if he turns out to have a torture dungeon where he’ll lock you all up, don’t say I didn’t warn you

ZariIsTheBest: relax, Sara, Chloe’s with us

MissTimeBureau: You’re talking about the woman who married the Devil knowing who he is.

ZariIsTheBest: guess we’ll see

ZariIsTheBest: I trust his dad to keep us safe

ZariIsTheBest: I mean, what did we ever get into that we didn’t find our way out of in a very creative, impossible way

Lancelot: That’s true

notbarryallen: amen

Chapter Text

‘So tell me, John, what is it you truly desire? You’ve never answered that question for me.’ Lucifer’s eyes bore into his. It was a very powerful stare; something inside him stirred. ‘What do you want the most?’

John leant closer and sipped at his drink. ‘To have a threesome with Gary and Sara Lance,’ he said, and smirked. ‘Doesn’t work on me, mate.’

Close. It was close.

‘Ah, pity. I was curious what someone as damaged as you might want, perhaps a trip to heaven when your time comes?’ Lucifer crossed his legs. He gave John a thorough once-over. ‘Or a little fashion advice from the Devil?’

‘Oh, bugger off.’ The old trenchcoat was John’s brand—he’d never give it up. He finished the drink. ‘You’ll never find out what I want, Morningstar. You have no power over me—not until I kick the bucket, anyway, then I’m all yours.’ He gave the devil a faux smile and got up.

Gary was sitting at the bar, sipping at something awfully colourful and carefully listening to Ray playing Lucifer’s piano side by side with Chloe Morningstar, dreamy-eyed. John sat down next to him.

‘What in hell are you drinking, love?’

‘It’s called a swimming pool,’ Gary said and slid the half-empty glass to John, who scoffed at it. ‘No, thanks.’ He waved at the bartender. ‘Give me another whisky, thanks.’

Anything to help him get his mind off the case they’ve been on today, and sitting in Lux again, one chair next to the one he’s been knocking back one drink after another and ogling the dancers on the last time he wound up here.

He saw Lucifer walking to the seat Nora, Zari, Wally, and Mick were sitting at. Then his drink arrived.



Zari pointed at Wally. She shook her head. ‘No, the ghoul was definitely worse than this.’

He made a disgusted face. ‘No, no, no. It wasn’t. This wendigo eats people, Z. It eats people.’

‘So does the ghoul, but it eats dead people, and that’s infinitely more gross and gory.’

‘Stop talking about it,’ said Nora, and sent a glare in Zari and Wally’s direction. She turned her tall wine glass in her fingers without drinking its contents.

Mick drank his beers non-stop. ‘Let’s agree they were all nasty fuckers.’

In the same motion as Mick, Wally drank some of his beer too and then said, ‘That’s true.’

Soft piano music created with the collective effort of Ray and Chloe filled the club, dew ran down the cold beer bottles, the apocalypse has been averted more-or-less without the usual ballyhoo. This was a perfect night out with the Legends in LA—so why did Zari have this feeling it was going to turn around very fast and very soon?

Lucifer approached their small group with a smile on his face and a drink in his hand. With the other hand, he pointed at a bit of space next to Nora. ‘May I sit?’

There was scepticism in her eyes. Mistrust. But she said, ‘Sure.’

‘Ah, wonderful.’ He sat down. ‘So what exactly do you Legends do, hunt monsters? I’m intrigued to finally meet you.’

Zari answered, ‘Well, actually we save time and space from mythical entities. Aliens too, sometimes.’

She shouldn’t think this man was interesting and charming and nice. He was the Devil. But she couldn’t help but be fascinated by him nonetheless. He was an actual angel with wings, and if angels were real, well—

‘You’ve mentioned time travel before. How exactly does that work, if you don’t mind me asking?’

‘I’ll be damned if I know,’ she sighed. It was the perfect time to take a gulp of her coke.

Nora turned to Lucifer. ‘Nobody knows, maybe Palmer over there,’ she tilted her head in the piano’s direction. Nate was leaning against it and laughing about something. ‘He’s the geeky scientist of the ship.’

Lucifer looked over there and back at Nora. He measured her for a second, calculating. ‘You’re the one who was possessed by Malice, aren’t you? I can smell it on you.’

She glanced at her drink and scratched the surface of the wooden table her fingernail absently. ‘It was twenty years.’

He laid a hand on her shoulder. She shivered. ‘You poor soul,’ he said in his velvety voice, and it almost sounded like he cared. ‘Must’ve been awful, you couldn’t even enjoy human life with all its pleasures, and all for that old sod.’ He offered her the drink that stood in front of him. It was probably scotch. ‘Here, drink this, it’s on me.’

‘I’m not sure if that can help, but thanks.’ She knocked it back and slammed the glass on the table.

Lucifer, his hand still on her shoulder, focused on her eyes. ‘And what do you desire, hmm?’

Zari raised he eyebrow and watched. She’s heard about the Devil’s little trick, or ability, or whatever it was that enabled him to draw out people’s secret desires. She wished he wouldn’t ask her.

‘I—’ Nora hesitated. ‘I want to be a good person, make amends for what I’ve done to hurt people. And—’ She sucked in a breath.


‘Maybe get drunk and make out with Zari or Ray or anyone and forget.’



Zari finished the rest of her coke, feeling four pairs of eyes on her. She put the glass away. The ice cubes fell back onto the bottom of the glass with a dull clink.

A turnaround indeed.

Chapter Text



Lancelot: So are you guys alive?

Lancelot: I haven’t heard from you since six pm yesterday

notbarryallen: yes we’re alive

notbarryallen: mostly

Lancelot: Mostly???

notbarryallen: zari’s been weirdly quiet for a while bc of something nora said

notbarryallen: and I think nora’s hungover af

gayforray: ooh, drama

gayforray: morning, captain

Lancelot: Do I want to ask what happened?

notbarryallen: no

gayforray: enjoy your breakfast, Sara

Lancelot: How do you know I’m having breakfast right now

gayforray: psychic

rayofsunshine: We’ve developed a certain routine, so it was an easy guess that you’d be having breakfast at the same time we are.

Lancelot: Huh, I never noticed that

Lancelot: My breakfast is better than your though

Lancelot: Ava’s cooking

Lancelot: [image attached: avacooking.jpeg]

gayforray: what are you two lovebirds having?

Lancelot: Don’t… don’t say that

gayforray: what, lovebirds?

Lancelot: Yeah

gayforray: but your superhero name is literally canary

Lancelot: We’re having eggs and bacon on fresh toast and some croissants

Trenchcoat: I could use a good old full English right now

rayofsunshine: Then get up and have it, John.

Trenchcoat: I have a counteroffer, why don’t you make some and bring it here

notbarryallen: or I could fetch you

Trenchcoat: Please, be so kind and don’t do that

Trenchcoat: Once was enough

notbarryallen: I still remember your face

Lancelot: Didn’t Zari get it on video?

notbarryallen: she did

rayofsunshine: So why exactly isn’t Zari talking to us? I seem to have missed something.

notbarryallen: you were too busy jamming on that piano with mrs morningstar…

Lancelot: I never knew you could play the piano, Ray

rayofsunshine: Well, it’s one of my many talents.

notbarryallen: lucifer did that thing with his eyes where he can draw out your desires

notbarryallen: on nora

notbarryallen: and she said she wanted to a good person but also she wanted to forget

notbarryallen: and that she wanted to get drunk and make out with someone

notbarryallen: namely zari or, um, ray

Lancelot: 👀

gayforray: DRAMA


rayofsunshine: I knew there was something!

gayforray: honey you’re taken. by me

rayofsunshine: I didn’t mean that I would want to make out with Nora Darhk. Definitely not.

rayofsunshine: But I’m glad I haven’t been reading things wrong.

gayforray: excuse me

Lancelot: Nate, are you all right? You seem to be a bit off today

gayforray: oh yeah I should probably mention Lucifer gave me some good stuff yesterday

gayforray: so let’s talk about nora and zari

gayforray: where are they

notbarryallen: probably in their room

Lancelot: That’s interesting…

rayofsunshine: Do you think something happened?

notbarryallen: nah

notbarryallen: at least not now

Lancelot: So you’re saying they’ve been there since yesterday

notbarryallen: as far as I know zari helped carry drunk nora to her bed

rayofsunshine: Look who came.

rayofsunshine: [image attached: grumpyjohn.jpeg]

Lancelot: 😂

notbarryallen: that face makes me want to come back to the kitchen

gayforray: my boyfriend, master of subtly changing the topic, strikes again

ZariIsTheBest: guys, shut up, I’m embarrassed

notbarryallen: look who’s talking to us now

ZariIsTheBest: I was asleep

ZariIsTheBest: how can you eat breakfast without me, I’m offended

rayofsunshine: Sorry, we didn’t know what to think.

ZariIsTheBest: and what exactly do you think happened

notbarryallen: you were quite mortified yesterday after nora said, you know, that

ZariIsTheBest: I didn’t see that coming, that’s all, why do you make such a big deal out of it

gayforray: we love drama

Lancelot: That’s true

ZariIsTheBest: except when it’s all about you, Nate, am I right

gayforray: I don’t know what you’re talking about, young lady

ZariIsTheBest: a month ago, when we were trying to make you realize you’re in love with Ray?

gayforray: god, I was a jerk

rayofsunshine: Come and have breakfast with us, Zari!

notbarryallen: how’s nora

ZariIsTheBest: might be dead

ZariIsTheBest: all I can see is a blanket cocoon

gayforray: that’s weirdly relatable

Lancelot: I see you show a lot of concern for your roommate, Zari

ZariIsTheBest: nope, not dead

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: grouch.jpeg]

notbarryallen: yikes you got the bird

ZariIsTheBest: a word of advice: when you see a blanket cocoon, do not try to wake it up

ZariIsTheBest: alright, I’m coming, suckers

Lancelot: Enjoy

Lancelot: I’m having amazing breakfast with an amazing woman, far away from you

gayforray: you don’t have to keep reminding us your life is better now

Lancelot: No, but it’s fun

Lancelot: [image attached: cuteava.jpeg]

gayforray: aww

ZariIsTheBest: oh wow

gayforray: here have some cute ray

gayforray: [image attached: ray242.jpeg]

gayforray: also mick

gayforray: [image attached: mick39.jpeg]

notbarryallen: oh man you have 242 pics of ray in your cell?

ZariIsTheBest: and only 39 of Mick

Lancelot: Mick’s face on that one is perfect

gayforray: is that too many? or not enough? he’s my boyfriend. I’m confused

Lancelot: That’s a lot

ZariIsTheBest: how many pictures of Ava do you have, Sara

Lancelot: Uhh

Lancelot: 20?

ZariIsTheBest: nuh-uh

Lancelot: 196

rayofsunshine: You have 242 photos of me? That’s nice.

ZariIsTheBest: @Lancelot I knew it

Lancelot: So what

gayforray: how many pictures of Nora do you have

ZariIsTheBest: four and they’re all hilarious faces like today

ZariIsTheBest: why do you care

notbarryallen: I thought there was some, yk, development yesterday

ZariIsTheBest: ok but wanting to make out with me isn’t the same as liking me

ZariIsTheBest: she said the same thing about Ray 👀

rayofsunshine: But I have done nothing to encourage her. You, on the other hand…

ZariIsTheBest: maybe I did, yeah, but mostly like for fun?

Lancelot: You sure, Z

Lancelot: Jesus, why does this feel so much like season one of B99

gayforray: ooohh that’s good

gayforray: you’re Jake and Amy

ZariIsTheBest: if that were true I’d be Jake, but it’s not

notbarryallen: /gina voice/ no, honey, you’re amy, the oblivious one

notbarryallen: nora is the childish bisexual who confesses by accident /gina voice over/

gayforray: that’s not how it happened in the show

Lancelot: I’m here for bi Jake, to be honest

notbarryallen: no one on b99 is straight, pass it on

Lancelot: Just like us *Waverider emoji* *rainbow heart* 😘

ZariIsTheBest: you’re in a good mood today

Lancelot: Well, what can I say, the first night at our place was really great ;)

Lancelot: But I know you’re trying to change the topic, Zari

gayforray: you’ll tell us the details later

gayforray: I had a thought

notbarryallen: that’s great, the baby has developed a mind!

gayforray: haha

gayforray: no but if anyone’s Jake and Amy it’s Ray and me

gayforray: I’m Jake, he’s such an Amy

rayofsunshine: Oh no, baby, you’re right.

rayofsunshine: I’m definitely an Amy. Why did I not see that before?

Lancelot: I agree

notbarryallen: you and ava are holt and kevin

Lancelot: That’s not true, I’m more fun than Holt

rayofsunshine: Sara, he’s hilarious.

Lancelot: Of course Amy would think so

notbarryallen: zari is a nicer version of gina

notbarryallen: mick is the sarge

gayforray: Nora is Rosa Diaz

notbarryallen: okay but that leaves boyle to me and I’m not boyle

ZariIsTheBest: I think some regards you are

ZariIsTheBest: and I definitely agree on all of this

notbarryallen: some regards?

ZariIsTheBest: from what I heard, relationships, and you love food

Lancelot: John and Gary are Hitchcock and Scully

Lancelot: They’re weird and don’t get much done

Trenchcoat: I beg to differ, you’d be fucked without me

notbarryallen: remember when gina said to rosa “in another lifetime you and I would make a hot ass couple”

notbarryallen: if zari is gina and nora is rosa

gayforray: it all fits

ZariIsTheBest: shut up, Jake

ZariIsTheBest: to be honest, I live for John always showing up when we talk about him

Trenchcoat: I’m watching you

gayforray: in this version, both Gina and Rosa are happily single, which can mean only one thing

gayforray: Zari, just ask her out

ZariIsTheBest: how do you know I even like her?

notbarryallen: do you?

ZariIsTheBest: I don’t know

notbarryallen: I think that’s a good start

ZariIsTheBest: this chat was so much more fun when we gave relationship advice to Ray and Nate and teased Constantine and Gary

Trenchcoat: I disagree

gayforray: agree to disagree

ZariIsTheBest: I hate you

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: another case closed

notbarryallen: so are you guys ready for the housewarming party at sara and ava’s??? 🎉

grunt: if you have food and beer

gayforray: yeah, man! I could party every day

rayofsunshine: No, Nate, you couldn’t, you would collapse if you did.

gayforray: you know what I meant, babe

ZariIsTheBest: of course we have food and beer, @grunt, can’t be a party without it

ZariIsTheBest: at least by your standards

grunt: great

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: frontdoor.jpeg]

ZariIsTheBest: the house is decorated and ready to see you in

Lancelot: Just a warning though, if you destroy or puke on anything, I’ll hurt you

gayforray: hello to you too, captain

MissTimeBureau: Forgive Sara’s manners, but this is our house we’re talking about.

MissTimeBureau: @Trenchcoat @AgentGeek I’d also like to warn you not to practice magic or demonic rituals or whatever you like to do, please.

Trenchcoat: And I was going to bring bat’s ears and the blood of Judas to perform this very complicated spell I needed to locate a demon I’ve been looking for

Lancelot: Very funny, John

Trenchcoat: No, I was actually going to do that

MissTimeBureau: Blood of Judas?

MissTimeBureau: No, I don’t want to know.

rayofsunshine: Ah, it’s like the time Tolkien found the blood of Jesus to destroy the Spear of Destiny! Except in reverse.

Trenchcoat: You were in possession of Jesus’ blood? Why didn’t you tell me, I needed some last month

Lancelot: It was only for a short time, so

Trenchcoat: Still, it’s a very powerful magical relic, very impressive for you lot

rayofsunshine: Why thank you!

AgentGeek: I finally get to go to your house, boss? I’ve always wanted to see what it looks like

MissTimeBureau: Don’t push it, Gary, I can still uninvite you.

AgentGeek: Please don’t do that, I’ll be nice

Trenchcoat: I’ll make sure of that

Lancelot: Well, I don’t know if you’re the right person to say that

ZariIsTheBest: better than Mick

rayofsunshine: I’ll have you know, Mick is good at watching people if you tell him to.

grunt: I’m no one’s dog

rayofsunshine: I didn’t… imply that…

ZariIsTheBest: oh, Ray

MiniDarhk: sounded a bit like that, sunshine

MiniDarhk: okay just to be clear you don’t hate me, right?

ZariIsTheBest: why would we hate you???

MiniDarhk: because of the things I said when I was drunk

Lancelot: We all say things when we’re drunk, Nora, we’re the Legends

gayforray: that’s true 👉👉

notbarryallen: I still remember that conversation

rayofsunshine: Speedster cocktail?

notbarryallen: yeah

gayforray: I’m still embarrassed

Lancelot: It got you and Nate together

rayofsunshine: That’s true.

gayforray: still embarrassed

gayforray: I said those things to everyone

ZariIsTheBest: so did Nora, pretty much

MiniDarhk: yeah

MiniDarhk: so I am invited to lady time bureau’s house

Lancelot: Not if you keep calling my girlfriend that

MiniDarhk: noted, miss lady time bureau’s girlfriend

notbarryallen: nice one

Lancelot: I’ll let that one pass

ZariIsTheBest: so are you guys gonna move your lazy asses and come

ZariIsTheBest: Constantine, don’t say anything, I realize my mistake

Trenchcoat: You didn’t know what I was gonna say

ZariIsTheBest: yeah I did

notbarryallen: I saw it too

ZariIsTheBest: shut up

ZariIsTheBest: just come here

notbarryallen: we have food

notbarryallen: and beds too

ZariIsTheBest: Wally West

notbarryallen: I’m shutting up

rayofsunshine: Aren’t you in the same room?

ZariIsTheBest: aren’t you and Nate?

notbarryallen: actually we’re not

notbarryallen: [image attached: wallyandsara.jpeg]

MissTimeBureau: Are you hiding from me in the garden?

Lancelot: Absolutely not

Lancelot: I was just showing Wally the garden, because he was interested

rayofsunshine: You guys have a garden?

MissTimeBureau: I grow my own vegetables, and I have some fruit trees as well.

notbarryallen: it’s so cool

notbarryallen: everything’s healthy and organic

Lancelot: And, most of all, real

ZariIsTheBest: are you insulting the food fabricator

Lancelot: No, I’m saying a real apple pie is 1000 times better

Lancelot: And damn, Ava can cook

gayforray: she’s a perfect match for you

Lancelot: I know

MissTimeBureau: As if your sandwiches weren’t absolutely amazing, Sara.

Lancelot: Thanks, Aves <3

Lancelot: But you do know they’re pretty much the only thing I can make without causing a disaster

notbarryallen: mood

MiniDarhk: mood

rayofsunshine: Social media is ruining the English language.

Jaxon: big mood

notbarryallen: you have something to say, bro?

notbarryallen: hey jax

Jaxon: hey

Jaxon: i heard there was a housewarming party for sara and ava

Lancelot: Jax! You’re always invited

rayofsunshine: I just don’t understand those new expressions sometimes. I have to look them up in the urban dictionary all the time.

ZariIsTheBest: says someone who uses lol unironically

rayofsunshine: This one has been here for years!

ZariIsTheBest: /whispers/ what

gayforray: Zari was that a vine quote

MiniDarhk: I made her watch all the vines with me

ZariIsTheBest: repeatedly

gayforray: noice

notbarryallen: toight

MiniDarhk: no regrets here

rayofsunshine: Sara, you shouldn’t have mentioned Brooklyn Nine-Nine, they’re all about that now.

Lancelot: Have you got a problem, Santiago?

gayforray: anyone else read that in Holt voice

notbarryallen: everyone?

Trenchcoat: Are you making fun of English accent

gayforray: Jake and Charles do

notbarryallen: they’re making an impression, that’s different, mate

Jaxon: did i miss sth big

Lancelot: I might’ve mentioned b99 and it ended up in us being compared to the characters

Jaxon: and youre holt

Lancelot: Apparently

Jaxon: who am i

gayforray: this is tough

notbarryallen: and who is Amaya, anyway?

ZariIsTheBest: Jax, you’re Doug Judy

Jaxon: the pontiac bandit? nooo

gayforray: she’s got a point

gayforray: you’re fun and friends with me even though we don’t see each other often

Jaxon: and black just say it

gayforray: and that

notbarryallen: wait can you sing

Jaxon: such a stupid question course i can


gayforray: that’s true 👌

gayforray: also Amaya is Sharon, she’s the nice mom who can get real angry sometimes

notbarryallen: why did you give me away like this

ZariIsTheBest: because it’s true

ZariIsTheBest: and I agree with Nate 👍

gayforray: she is good friends with Mick so it fits

Lancelot: How are we all b99 characters

MiniDarhk: unbelievable

gayforray: we’re handsome, gay, make stupid decisions and bad jokes, mess things up but still end up doing our jobs perfectly

gayforray: now am I talking about them or us

notbarryallen: honestly

ZariIsTheBest: Nate has a point

MissTimeBureau: All we need is a dog.

Lancelot: It’d be our baby

gayforray: wait a minute

MissTimeBureau: Do you want to get a dog?

Lancelot: I don’t know, they’re a big responsibility and with our jobs, I don’t know if we could take care of it

Lancelot: But I’d love to start a family with you, Aves

rayofsunshine: Plus you really love dogs.

Lancelot: Yeah, I do

rayofsunshine: Dog people unite!

notbarryallen: hell yeah

gayforray: yes, count me in, babe

ZariIsTheBest: not to hurt your feelings but I prefer cats

notbarryallen: NO

ZariIsTheBest: YES

ZariIsTheBest: they’re cute and cuddly and funny

Lancelot: So are dogs, plus they’re loyal and don’t bring dead mice home

ZariIsTheBest: forgive me, but you don’t seem like the person who would mind that

Lancelot: Oh I do mind, they’re mice

gayforray: is Sara secretly scared of mice

Lancelot: No, I’m not!

MissTimeBureau: Are you?

Lancelot: No! We have mice on the Waverider

rayofsunshine: Still?

ZariIsTheBest: does Mick ever stop dropping crumbs

rayofsunshine: Ah, that’s true.

gayforray: so we’re here! knock knock

Lancelot: I can hear your knocking, you don’t have to text

gayforray: but I want to

Lancelot: Okay, Peralta

gayforray: yeah

MissTimeBureau: Did you bring cheap wine?

gayforray: joke’s on you, Zari and Wally already brought all the food and drink

gayforray: Kevin

MissTimeBureau: Will you ever stop doing this?

notbarryallen: no

notbarryallen: besides, you started it

Chapter Text

Sara swung the front door open, and she was immediately greeted by her friends and teammates’ excited faces. Some were holding presents, some have brought food, and some were just smiling.

‘Welcome!’ she returned the wide smile and showed them all inside. ‘This is our humble dwelling.’

Zari, Wally, and Ava came into the living room to welcome their friends. Ava wrapped her arms round Sara’s waist and leant into her with a ghost of a kiss on her hair. Warmth spread through her body. For the first time in years, she felt whole.

‘It’s really nice,’ said Ray, looking round. ‘I love how you’ve combined rustic with modern!’



Zari turned the music down before she pushed her chair back and stood up, a glass of virgin mojito in hand. She cleared her throat. ‘Okay, I’m not really good at this whole speech thing,’ she said, ‘but since I organised the party, I figured I should do it. So.’ She looked at Sara and Ava, sitting side by side on her right. ‘I think Sara and Ava are a great couple and I really wish you the best. You’re my friends, and I love you, and I know you love each other, so I hope you won’t screw this new life together up. I’ll personally kick your asses if you will.’

Wally leant closer to the couple. ‘Believe her, she doesn’t look like it but she will.’

‘Good speech, Zari, and I believe you,’ Sara said, raising her own glass of a cocktail that contained more vodka than anything. ‘But you were wrong about one thing. We’re family. A very weird one, but still a family, and I’m proud to know you and be here with you. But mostly Ava.’ She turned to her girlfriend; her eyes sparkled. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, Sara.’ They shared a quick kiss.

‘To Sara and Ava!’ Zari exclaimed, and they all drank.



‘Who wants chicken legs, they’re ready!’ Nate called from the barbecue. He turned a steak. Music and chatter carried from every part of the small garden. There were lights hanging on the trees, which swung lightly in the evening breeze.

Mick shoved a plate in front of him. ‘I want two,’ he said matter-of-factly. There were only six on the grill.

‘Okay,’ Nate replied, drawing the y. He carefully took two crispy legs and laid them on the plate. ‘Anyone else? I have the peppers too, they’re from Ava’s garden!’

‘I could’ve roasted this with my gun, it would’ve been faster,’ Mick said more to himself before he shuffled over to a group of Jax, Wally, Zari, and Nora.

Ray approached Nate, holding a half-full glass of some fruity concoction. ‘How’s it going, do you want my help?’

‘No, thank you,’ he answered, checking the peppers. There were red and green ones, and some were already turning black. He pointed at Ray’s drink with a spatula. ‘What have you got there?’

‘Mango juice with a splash of rum, strawberries, pineapples, and mangoes,’ he said, excited. ‘Want to try it?’ He offered the straw to Nate, who sipped at the sugary cocktail carefully.

‘Hmm, that’s good,’ he admitted. ‘Pepper?’

Ray shook his head. ‘Not really, but I’ll go ask Sara and Ava!’

They both turned their heads to the couple, sitting together on a bench and laughing about something one or the other said. They were unusually relaxed and blissful. They were happy for the women. ‘Good idea,’ Nate said and put the slightly charred vegetables on a plate, which he handed to Ray with a peck on his cheek.

Then Wally ran to him in full speed and almost caused him to knock the grill over. ‘Can I have that steak?’ he asked, pointing at the large hunk of pork that was too big for a normal human.

‘Sure, it’ll be ready in five minutes.’



‘Noooo, we’re not doing karaoke,’ Sara protested loudly, having enough drinks in her system already.

Wally, adamant, waved the microphone at in front of her face. ‘Yes, we are! I’ll go first if no one wants to have the honour.’

‘That’s a great idea,’ John said, deadpan. No one really knew what he was currently doing in the living room, but they didn’t ask. He’s lost his tie about an hour ago.

‘Okay!’ Wally searched through the list of songs before he chose one. ‘Let’s do The Show Must Go On!’

Jax clapped his hands and hooted. ‘Yeah, man!’



Gary was vomiting in the kitchen sink. Zari froze in the doorway when she saw him bent over the counter and John by his side, holding him tightly round his shoulders. She just wanted to get more soda water…

Then John turned round and noticed her. ‘Nothing to see here, love, just my boyfriend being unable to hold his drink.’

‘Okay,’ she replied and tried to recall whether there were some leftover beverages in the garden. ‘I’ll just—I’ll leave you to it.’ She backed out of the room. She really didn’t understand why people drank alcohol when it just made them sick and cranky afterwards.

She went and opened the back door. The garden was lit even more beautifully in the dark, and she made out the shape of a person sitting on the edge of the porch. She stepped closer and then saw it was Nora.

‘Hey, what are you doing here, all alone in the dark?’ she asked.

Nora jumped a little. She tried to hide it when she spoke. ‘I like the dark. I can clear my head here. It’s too crowded inside.’ Her voice was low.

Zari walked to her. ‘Can I sit?’

‘Yeah.’ Nora took a swig of a beer. In front of her was a plate with some tomato and grilled tofu remainders. It must have gone cold. Zari sat down and hugged her knees. The air was fresh but still warm at the end of August.

‘Will you eat that?’ she pointed at the plate.

‘Not really, you can finish it if you want. It’s cold, though.’ Nora picked it up and handed it to Zari. They sat in silence while Zari ate, and looked at the stars.



‘Put the gun down, Mick.’ It was an order. He didn’t look as though he was about to obey it.

‘Why? The time pig’s started it!’ Mick held his fire gun at Gary, who was cowering on an armchair, hands lifted in surrender and glasses askew.

‘I said I’m sorry!’ he squealed. Mick wasn’t convinced.

Ava put on her authoritative voice. ‘Mr Rory, now. This is my house and you won’t light anything on fire.’

John stepped in front of Gary. ‘Gentlemen, let’s be reasonable,’ he said. ‘I’m sure we can sort this without an outbreak of violence. What do you say about a duel?’

Sara and Ava both yelled at him, ‘NO! No duels!’

Mick grunted.

‘Alright, but it would’ve been fun,’ John grinned and put a cigarette into his mouth. He didn’t light it. ‘Come on, Gary, let’s go somewhere private.’ He helped the scared man out of the armchair and led him toward the back door, not at all scared of being hit by fire. Before they disappeared, he sent a wink to Sara.

Mick finally lowered his gun with a growl and went to the kitchen to get a cold beer. Crisis averted.

‘Do you think Gary will be sick again?’ Sara whispered to Ava.

‘He looks that way, yeah,’ she agreed and they sat on the sofa again. The tension slowly left the room. ‘This is a catastrophe, isn’t it?’

‘Well, Mick didn’t actually set anything on fire, John and Gary didn’t have sex, there is nothing spilt on the floor, and Nate only burned the food a little, so I say it’s not so bad,’ said Sara and leant back with a sigh. She took a pillow and hugged it. She looked at Ava. ‘I’m glad Zari convinced us to do this, anyway.’

‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but so am I. The Legends are growing on me.’

‘Aww, that’s sweet,’ Sara bumped her knee into Ava’s. Her head fell on her shoulder. ‘Speaking of Zari, where is she anyway? I haven’t seen her since she went to grab a soda.’

‘Who knows.’ The playlist Wally has put on was currently playing ABBA. They remembered their recent trip to the cinema with Lily, Jax, and his girlfriend. It was 10 PM and Jax has already left because he and Carly had plans.

Suddenly a wave of wind rose as Wally sprinted into the living room. Sara’s hair got into her face, and an empty crisps packet flew into the air and fell on the floor. ‘Guys, come into the kitchen. I’ve got news!’ was all he said before he was gone and the wind messed up Sara’s hair even more.

Ava looked at the direction of his escape. ‘Should we follow?’ she asked.

Sara put her pillow away and tried to make her hair look acceptable again. ‘Yeah,’ she shrugged. They both got up and walked into the kitchen as quickly as non-gifted humans could. Nate, Ray, and Mick were standing by the kitchen counter nervously, while Wally sat on a table, ready to spill whatever he’s learnt out.

‘Don’t tease us and say what you called us here for,’ Nate said, a little uncertain on some syllables. He’s had quite a number of shots and cocktails, and even Ray has, oddly enough, had two drinks with rum.

‘So, as I said, I’ve got some news. I went to the garden to get some fresh air and guess what, or rather whom, I saw there!’ he looked round. An eyebrow went up. There was a dramatic pause. ‘Zari and Nora. Making. Out!’

Ava’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Sara grinned. Nate opened his mouth wide and nudged Ray in his ribs. Ray said, ‘Zari and Nora are doing what now?’ At the same time, Mick muttered, ‘That’s hot.’ His mind was working up the mental image, probably.

Wally tapped his foot on a chair. ‘Yeah,’ he was grinning as well. ‘Guys, I caught them in the act, right there on the porch. They were so occupied with each other they didn’t even notice me opening the door.’

Nate walked to Wally. He laid his hand on his shoulder. ‘Tell us everything, buddy.’

Ava whispered in Sara’s ear, ‘So I guess we know where Zari is now.’

‘Oh, you’re right.’

‘I’m not sure if I approve of it, though. Nora Darhk is, after all—’

Nate interrupted them, ‘Shut up! I want to hear the details!’

‘Didn’t John and Gary go out for a smoke?’ Ray suddenly asked, and everyone froze. They were going to be in trouble.

‘Everyone, scatter, they can’t know we know,’ Nate reacted, waving his hands round. He grabbed Ray’s arm and started dragging him out of the kitchen. In the doorway, he paused and whispered, ‘Act natural.’ He added a wink.

Sara found Ava’s hand and laced their fingers together. ‘So, Sharpe, want to go cuddle on the sofa again and pretend we didn’t hear any of this?’

‘I’ve already forgotten everything,’ she answered. ‘Let me have a drink first, though.’



There were sounds. The door was opening; voices. Zari hurriedly pulled away with a flush she was sure that was obvious even in the dark.

She recognised John’s accent. She quickly removed her hands from where they were holding Nora and laid them on the wooden floor. She cleared her throat and refused to look Nora’s way.

This has been… an unexpected development. She wasn’t sure what to make of this, the fact she and Nora kissed. One part of her was embarrassed, the other, well, wanted to pull those lips into another kiss.

‘Ladies, what are you doing here this late?’ John asked, looking at both of them with slight amusement.

Zari cleared her throat. ‘We were just—’

‘Admiring the night sky,’ Nora finished for her.

‘You mean you were snogging,’ John stated, a smile playing on his lips, clutching a cigarette. He pulled out a lighter. Behind him stood Gary, not looking quite well.

‘Uh,’ Zari was rendered speechless. ‘No, we weren’t…’

Nora looked him in the eye. In the light of fairy lights, their eyes glistened. ‘So what if we were?’ she asked, and it sounded close to a threat.

‘We’ll let you have some privacy, right, Gary?’ he turned to his boyfriend and back to the two women. ‘I’ll have a fag on the front stairs. Have fun, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

‘You’d do anything,’ Zari observed.

‘Exactly.’ The pair left them with a mysterious grin on John’s face and confusion on Gary’s.

Zari gazed at Nora and bit her lip. ‘So, are we gonna talk about what’s just happened, or?’

‘Well, I think I can say I definitely like girls,’ she said after a second of silence with a sheepish smile. She reached for a strand of hair hanging loosely out of Zari’s ponytail and tucked it behind her ear. ‘And you can blame it on all the alcohol I’ve had, but I like you, Tomaz.’

‘I—okay,’ Zari flushed again. ‘That’s great because, uh, I think I like you too, Nora. And no alcohol here,’ she laughed awkwardly, ‘but I’m not really good with feelings and, you know. So can we maybe not do this right now? If that’s okay with you. I need some time to think about it. Thanks.’

She got up and hurried inside, not looking at the expression in Nora’s face.

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: sooooo

notbarryallen: zari and nora, huh 👀

animalgirl: What happened?

gayforray: guys, we’re not supposed to know about it or talk about it

notbarryallen: oops

gayforray: I’m really hungover ugh

animalgirl: What happened between Zari and Nora?

grunt: they made out

gayforray: MICK

animalgirl: …Is it serious?

Lancelot: I don’t know and I’m not sure I want to know

Trenchcoat: It’s definitely serious, I know when I see it

Lancelot: Really, John, you?

Trenchcoat: I’m kind of an expert on all things love

notbarryallen: love spells, right

gayforray: have you even told Gary you love him yet

gayforray: because we know he told you, repeatedly

Trenchcoat: That’s personal and I’m not drunk enough to talk about that with you

AgentGeek: He has

AgentGeek: Once

AgentGeek: During sex

gayforray: aha!

Trenchcoat: Traitor

MissTimeBureau: Too much information.

notbarryallen: but back to zari and nora

Lancelot: Guys, I’m pretty sure Zari doesn’t want to talk about that

Lancelot: Or know that we know

animalgirl: And it’s one AM, you should be sleeping.

gayforray: why aren’t you sleeping then, Amaya? it’s even later in Africa

animalgirl: That’s a fair point, Nathaniel, but I couldn’t sleep so I went out to have some fresh air.

gayforray: there’s fresh air everywhere where you live

animalgirl: You know what I meant.

gayforray: sorry I just can’t think straight right now, my head is still spinning

animalgirl: How was the party?

notbarryallen: great

notbarryallen: we had barbecue, cocktails, cake, karaoke, and mick threatened to kill gary once

grunt: I didn’t threaten to kill the time pig

grunt: I just wanted to roast him a little bit

AgentGeek: Excuse me but I’m here

grunt: no one cares

Lancelot: John cares, apparently

Trenchcoat: Yes I do, and I’d never let Rory kill Gary, I’d use his own fire against him first, so there was never anything to worry about

Lancelot: That’s still not very reassuring, John

rayofsunshine: I just came back from the shower. Is anything interesting going on?

gayforray: hell yes it is

gayforray: you’re just wearing a towel

gayforray: damn

notbarryallen: that wasn’t necessarily what we wanted to hear

Lancelot: Yeah

Lancelot: And you’re in the same room

gayforray: why does that bother anyone anymore

rayofsunshine: Wait, Mick did what?

AgentGeek: He wanted to burn me alive like I was an elf and he was a fire giant

notbarryallen: you weren’t there?

rayofsunshine: I was in the kitchen with Nate.

Lancelot: You were somewhere off together almost the entire time

gayforray: yeah, okay, can you blame me

gayforray: never mind, gotta go, towel’s off

Trenchcoat: Have fun

Lancelot: I agree with Ava, that’s TMI

MiniDarhk: I open the chat and see that

notbarryallen: n o r a

MiniDarhk: yeah what

notbarryallen: so what happened with zari

MiniDarhk: I’d prefer not to talk about that

notbarryallen: come on

MiniDarhk: that’s private, west, and it doesn’t mean anything, so shut up before I strangle you

Lancelot: Someone’s testy

Lancelot: Means it did mean something but something happened

MiniDarhk: good night, see you at breakfast

MiniDarhk: or maybe not

MissTimeBureau: Sara, what did you just do?

MissTimeBureau: You don’t want to make her angry.

Lancelot: What? I just said the truth

notbarryallen: so what else is going on

animalgirl: Was Nathaniel terrible at karaoke?

notbarryallen: you know nate

notbarryallen: of course he was

Lancelot: Wally’s show must go on was amazing though

notbarryallen: thanks, sara

AgentGeek: John’s mad at me for telling you he told me that he loved me because he didn’t want you to know that

AgentGeek: What do I do

MissTimeBureau: Oh god, Gary. Shouldn’t you figure that out yourself?

Lancelot: You still don’t like when we talk about their relationship, do you, Aves?

Lancelot: Are you still jealous? 😏

MissTimeBureau: I’m not jealous, I’m just, I still don’t trust him.

Trenchcoat: I beg your pardon

MissTimeBureau: No offence.

Trenchcoat: That did seem a bit offensive, pet

MissTimeBureau: Don’t call me that.

Trenchcoat: Or what, you’ll arrest me and bring me to your fancy time bureau?

MissTimeBureau: I’m considering that right now, yeah.

Lancelot: Okay, guys, you can argue tomorrow, I can’t handle this right now

Trenchcoat: Is that a promise

MissTimeBureau: I won’t get down on that level, Constantine, so consider yourself a lucky man.

Lancelot: Great

Lancelot: Now come to bed, Ava?

MissTimeBureau: Are you saying pretty please?

Lancelot: Pretty please <3

MissTimeBureau: Okay but you better not be wearing anything under that duvet.

Lancelot: I’ll see what I can do about that ;)

notbarryallen: I love you guys but that also was tmi

Lancelot: 😘

AgentGeek: So is anyone going to help me

notbarryallen: I think it’s just you and me, man

animalgirl: I’m also still here.

Trenchcoat: So am I

AgentGeek: Oh boy

AgentGeek: John I’m sorry

Trenchcoat: Are you hiding in the loo, love?

AgentGeek: No?

AgentGeek: Okay I am

Trenchcoat: Come out and maybe I’ll forgive you for breaching top secret information

notbarryallen: hey are you into some boss/subordinate kink or was that just me

Trenchcoat: Wouldn’t you like to know

AgentGeek: 😊

animalgirl: What’s a kink?

notbarryallen: ahhhhhh

notbarryallen: that’s not something I want to explain right now

Trenchcoat: It’s when people are into some weird sexual stuff

animalgirl: Oh.

AgentGeek: John definitely has a thing for my glasses

AgentGeek: And D&D roleplay

AgentGeek: And I shouldn’t have said that

Trenchcoat: You’re right you shouldn’t have, love

notbarryallen: we know anyway

AgentGeek: I love you, John

AgentGeek: Can I fix this

Trenchcoat: Well, I think there’s only one way to fix this, don’t you think?

AgentGeek: I think I know what you have in mind ;)

Trenchcoat: You think correctly ;)

Trenchcoat: And for the record, I love you too

AgentGeek: ainknirfanjvbd

notbarryallen: you did this on purpose didn’t you

notbarryallen: you know no one but amaya and me are here

Trenchcoat: Smart lad

notbarryallen: why did everyone have to go and have sex

animalgirl: If it’s any consolation, I didn’t.

notbarryallen: yeah, thanks, amaya

grunt: I’m not fucking anyone right now too

animalgirl: You mean “either”.

grunt: don’t correct my grammar Amaya

animalgirl: But it was incorrect.

notbarryallen: mood

ZariIsTheBest: okay, I don’t know how you know what’s happened, but somehow you do, so I’m going to have to say this

ZariIsTheBest: please, stay out of my personal business, thanks

ZariIsTheBest: I don’t want to talk about it and I’d appreciate if you didn’t either

ZariIsTheBest: I have to think about it myself and I’ll tell you when I’m ready but right now I’m not

notbarryallen: yeah, I respect that

notbarryallen: sorry I mentioned it, we were just excited

animalgirl: Of course, Zari. I support you no matter what you do <3

grunt: whatever

ZariIsTheBest: thanks, guys

ZariIsTheBest: and just fyi, I read the conversation and you’re all gross

Chapter Text



gayforray: we’re not gross, we’re in love, just saying

gayforray: anyway, is that heavy metal I hear from Zari’s room

notbarryallen: she always listens to that when she’s working or gaming

rayofsunshine: @MiniDarhk what do you think?

MiniDarhk: I don’t know, I’m in the library

gayforray: why are you in the library?

MiniDarhk: why is that weird

gayforray: you never… read?

MiniDarhk: I’m working

notbarryallen: with constantine?

notbarryallen: I saw you two

MiniDarhk: it’s magic related

rayofsunshine: So does that mean you don’t hate each other anymore?

Trenchcoat: We’ve come to some sort of a truce for now

gayforray: btw, I read what you guys talked about yesterday… today morning… whatever ;)

Trenchcoat: So everyone knows already, why should I bloody care

Lancelot: You’re actually soft

Trenchcoat: I’m not “soft” Lance

Trenchcoat: I’m the master of the dark arts and everyone trembles before me

gayforray: come on, Sara, we all know who’s the big softie here

Lancelot: Do you want me to portal on the ship and let you know how soft I am, Nate?

gayforray: okay, no, sorry, mom

Lancelot: Right now I’m too tired to comment on that

notbarryallen: we’ve agreed long ago that you’re the mom

gayforray: yeah, and we’re the kids, and Mick’s the uncle

Lancelot: If I remember it correctly, you and Ray were the dads and I was the eldest sister

rayofsunshine: That does sound legitimate.

Trenchcoat: Since we were explaining to Amaya what’s a kink, are you into the daddy kink, Raymond?

gayforray: you did what now

rayofsunshine: No, I’m not, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Lancelot: You did say the dads thing sounded legit

rayofsunshine: Which was in no way connected to that.

gayforray: aww he’s blushing

notbarryallen: send a pic, I need to see that

gayforray: [image attached: blushingdaddy.jpeg]

MiniDarhk: he’s cute

notbarryallen: the name 😂

gayforray: I had to

Lancelot: Kudos, Nate

rayofsunshine: Why did you have to do that?

gayforray: baby, they asked me to

gayforray: John, are you into daddy kink?

gayforray: you’re clearly into a lot of things

Trenchcoat: That’s true but not this one, mate

Lancelot: But you did try it

Trenchcoat: How do you know that

Lancelot: You don’t know till you try

Trenchcoat: There was this young lady who was way too into that once

AgentGeek: Can we maybe not talk about this

notbarryallen: you were the one who spilled his secrets, gary

AgentGeek: Ah yeah, guilty as charged

Trenchcoat: Morning to you too, love

AgentGeek: Good morning <3 sorry I forgot I haven’t seen you at breakfast

gayforray: he was here, you skipped breakfast, Gary

AgentGeek: Time Bureau business?

MissTimeBureau: Don’t know anything about that.

Lancelot: Ava, hey!

Lancelot: Were you hiding in the bathroom again, Gary?

AgentGeek: I wasn’t hiding there, I went there to pee and when I came back John wasn’t there so I went home to get some… stuff

Trenchcoat: Are you avoiding me now, love

AgentGeek: I’m not avoiding you! I’m

AgentGeek: I just went to get some stuff

Lancelot: Sounds shady, Gary

gayforray: yeah, almost sounds like you want to break up with him or something

AgentGeek: I definitely don’t want to break up with John, he’s the coolest boyfriend I’ve ever had

AgentGeek: I was just planning a surprise

AgentGeek: You made me say that and you’re terrible

Trenchcoat: A surprise, is it, Gary 👀

notbarryallen: did you learn how to use emojis 👀

AgentGeek: Shut up, you spoiled it now

Lancelot: I hate to break it to you, but you fucked it up yourself

MiniDarhk: you do realize he’s completely useless now and I have to do all the research by myself

gayforray: Gary?

MiniDarhk: no, the wizard

rayofsunshine: You have Gideon.

MiniDarhk: AI doesn’t like me

MissTimeBureau: She probably has a reason for that.

rayofsunshine: I can go and help you if you want.

MiniDarhk: thanks, palmer

Trenchcoat: I beg your pardon, I’m useful

Lancelot: You’re flirting with Gary the entire time

AgentGeek: No, he’s not, he’s so mad at me

Trenchcoat: I was a little bit but not anymore, what have you got for me, love?

gayforray: don’t be nosy, John

notbarryallen: you were nosy first, buddy

gayforray: come on, won’t you defend your best friend

notbarryallen: my best friend is zari now

gayforray: that hurts

Lancelot: So have you found out what’s up with her

notbarryallen: she talked with us normally at breakfast like nothing was going on and then went to her room

notbarryallen: said she had some work to do

MiniDarhk: the last time I saw her she was doing something with her tablet

Lancelot: So maybe she’s really just working

gayforray: I asked Gideon and she wouldn’t give me an answer

Lancelot: Tell her it’s the captain’s orders

gayforray: really, Sara, you’re full of surprises

Lancelot: What, I like gossip as much as anyone else

notbarryallen: gasp

gayforray: she said Zari doesn’t wish to be disturbed

notbarryallen: there’s still that music

grunt: yeah, it’s really good

grunt: girl’s got taste

gayforray: you live next to her, maybe you know something 👀

grunt: don’t care

Lancelot: Right

notbarryallen: honestly though, she asked us not to talk about any of this

gayforray: you gave Ray and me shit for our behavior, this isn’t fair

gayforray: Zari gave Ray and me shit

gayforray: so what if we know she finally made out with Nora, it’s been there since the beginning

MiniDarhk: you nosy lot just won’t leave us alone

MiniDarhk: Zari said she needs some time to think about it so you should give her that time and act normal just as we all did this morning, thanks

Lancelot: Us nosy lot won’t leave anyone alone, you should know that by now

gayforray: we’re the legends, you know us

notbarryallen: the legends of gay *rainbow heart*

notbarryallen: and we now know nora 100% likes girls and therefore 100% belongs here

MiniDarhk: okay, yeah, she said the same thing yesterday

Lancelot: Soooo are you bi or

gayforray: Sara subtly trying to recruit more bi club members…

Lancelot: I don’t know what you’re talking about

MiniDarhk: identifying as queer is a thing, right

MiniDarhk: because I don’t exactly know

grunt: snart was that

MiniDarhk: who’s snart?

rayofsunshine: Mick’s ex-boyfriend/partner in crime and our former teammate. He sacrificed his life for us…

Lancelot: He was a thief, a good one

rayofsunshine: I think there was something between him and Sara too.

Lancelot: That’s in past, Ray, you don’t have to bring it up

MissTimeBureau: Wait, you and Leonard Snart? The criminal?

Lancelot: This is exactly why I didn’t want to bring it up

Lancelot: a) that was in the past and I love only you, Aves, b) he wasn’t that bad, like Ray said, he saved us all and time itself

MissTimeBureau: When you say it like that, it does make me a little bit jealous.

rayofsunshine: So it was true, it wasn’t just me?

Lancelot: No, it wasn’t just you

rayofsunshine: Great!

gayforray: you have a strange idea of what’s great sometimes, Ray

MiniDarhk: okay sorry I asked

Lancelot: It’s not your fault

MiniDarhk: you’re defending me, lance? what’s going on

Lancelot: I honestly don’t know

notbarryallen: so back to nora being queer, that’s great newsss

gayforray: well, we all knew long ago

MiniDarhk: I didn’t

MiniDarhk: I hate you

Lancelot: We all knew long ago

notbarryallen: lol

notbarryallen: and zari’s not here to tell me not to say that ;)

ZariIsTheBest: you sure, buddy

gayforray: hey, Zari, whatcha doing

ZariIsTheBest: playing super mario, wanna join me?

notbarryallen: did you say mario

notbarryallen: hell yeah

ZariIsTheBest: that’s not fair, you’ve got your super fingers

ZariIsTheBest: I was actually asking Nate

gayforray: sure, why not, but only if Ray’s playing with me

rayofsunshine: It’s been a while since I’ve played video games, so I’ll join you!

ZariIsTheBest: great

ZariIsTheBest: and bring snacks, guys

Chapter Text

Nate put a bowl of nachos and hot sauce on the coffee table in front of the sofa Zari was currently sitting on, submerged in racing her own ghost on the large screen.

‘Hey, Zari!’ Ray waved at her awkwardly, startling her.

She pressed pause on the game and turned to him. Nate threw a bag of M&M’s at her. She snatched it with a quick move. ‘Hey, guys.’ She put the control down and reached for the nachos. ‘Thanks. Have a seat; the controls are here somewhere.’

If she really just wanted to play Mario Kart, then they would play. Nate wouldn’t force her into a conversation she didn’t want to have yet.

He took a seat next to her and scooped up enough hot sauce with a crisp to drop it on the floor. Ray gave him a disapproving look. He just rolled his eyes at him and ate another. Zari located one control, the other Ray found under a pillow.

‘It’s been so long, I forgot how to do this,’ he said.

‘You can’t forget how to play this video game, genius,’ said Zari. She quit her timed single-player mode and chose a different one for the three of them. ‘Ready?’

‘Hit me, baby,’ Nate said, and threw his body back on the sofa. He snuggled closer to Ray.



Zari didn’t even know how many hours they spent playing.

They’ve run out of snacks. Zari’s won all the games except two, which were Nate’s. Wally knocked on the door once to inquire about lunch, but she sent him away via Gideon. Ray was disappointed that he hasn’t managed to be first even once—he was the technical genius here!—and Nate made it up to him by bringing him a coffee just as he liked it and making out with him for five minutes.

Zari counted, and it was definitely too much for her eyes, thank you.

It also made her circle back to the previous night’s events, repeat it in her mind over and over, think about it. That was the last thing she wanted to think about today. Hence the video games.

She played Mario Kart with Nora more than once. They laughed about her poor attempts. They sat close.


Her mind wouldn’t shut up about her. Zari spiralled out of control and stopped paying attention to the game. Nate won again.

He cheered, and then raised an eyebrow at her. She sensed the conversation she’s been avoiding was coming.

She said, ‘I wasn’t paying much attention, sorry.’

‘What are you sorry for—I won the game!’ He turned to Ray and nodded at him slightly. Zari wasn’t supposed to notice, but she did. ‘But I can see… something’s been bothering you, so if you wanna talk or something, we’re here for you.’

She put the control down. ‘I know what this is about, Nate. You’re trying to make me talk about it.’

‘I don’t know what you’re on about…’

She sent him a warning glare.

Ray spoke first. ‘Well, this is absolutely none of our business, but seeing as Nate and I wouldn’t take the first step without Sara’s speech, we thought you should know.’ He cleared his throat. Didn’t know whether he should be looking at Zari, Nate, or the empty nacho bowl. ‘You’re my friend, Z, and so is Nora, and even if the two of us,’ he gestured between Nate and himself, ‘were—’

‘Idiots,’ Nate offered, interrupting him, ‘doesn’t mean you have to be. I don’t know what’s your deal with, uh, feelings and romance and sex and all that stuff, you know—’

Ray nudged him. ‘She’s asexual, Nate.’

‘Yeah, right, sorry. I’m babbling. Anyway. There clearly is some chemistry between you and Nora, deny it all you want. I mean, there’s fire.’ He mimicked something resembling an explosion with his hands. ‘My point is, you should maybe tell her that before it’s too late.’

Zari processed what she heard. She glanced on their hands, resting millimetres close. ‘Suddenly you two are experts on relationships, huh?’

‘Well, not to brag, but—’

‘Definitely not, just look at our past.’

Nate and Ray shared a look. Zari thought it was funny. For the first time in a while, she didn’t think about herself and Nora and—she did now. And, well, the guys were right. But she’s never been in a relationship before, and to be honest, she was scared.

She did like Nora. She did.

Half a year ago, she would laugh at the idea of even being friends with Nora Darhk. Now, she didn’t know what to do with the fact she was beginning to see her as more than that.

‘I don’t exactly know how to tell her any of it.’

Ray leant on the backrest to see Zari over Nate properly. ‘What did you say when you, you know, kissed?’

Zari didn’t want to answer.

‘She said she liked me,’ she said when Nate’s eyebrows and Ray’s expectations rose too high, leaving out the fact she was close to drunk. ‘I said I liked her too but that I’m not good with that stuff, which is true, and that I needed time to think about it. Which I did, even though I tried not to. Didn’t help.’

She was looking at her fingernails now. This was, by all means, a really embarrassing conversation for Zari. And, to be fair, if she wanted to talk to someone about this, she’d probably choose Gideon and her nonbiased algorithms and calculated advice.

‘All that’s great, Zari!’ said Nate, perhaps a little too excited. ‘So you know there are some real vibes, that’s good.’

‘It’s a start!’ Ray added.

She didn’t turn her attention away from her hands. ‘Yeah…’

‘Maybe tell her that, and if you really need time, take it, but not for too long, because she might lose interest.’ Nate gestured at her with his index finger and threw in a wink. ‘Don’t be scared of feelings, Z. Don’t be an idiot.’ He took Ray’s hand. ‘I love this guy and your teasing helped me realise that, so let me do the same for you, girl, yeah?’

She looked up. She saw a flush on Ray’s cheeks. ‘I’ll—I’ll think about what you said.’ She offered a tiny smile. ‘Now, do you wanna play one more round? I could do with another clean win.’

Ray grabbed his control. So did Nate. ‘Oh, you wish.’

Chapter Text



Trenchcoat: Did you know Gary can cook like a bloody devil

Lancelot: Do you mean god

Lancelot: And no, I didn’t, what

Trenchcoat: I don’t know, love, I’ve never had breakfast with god but I did with the devil

gayforray: wow, seriously?

ZariIsTheBest: wait, what

rayofsunshine: Gary and cooking?

MissTimeBureau: What is this about?

Trenchcoat: His surprise

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, he mentioned something like that a few days ago

AgentGeek: You actually remember what I said?

notbarryallen: we won’t if you don’t want us too

notbarryallen: also hey, chef 👀

AgentGeek: You’re making me blush, guys

AgentGeek: I learned to cook from my grandma

Lancelot: Hey John, what did he make

Trenchcoat: He looked up some of my old English favourites and made me dinner

ZariIsTheBest: that was it? the surprise? dinner?

gayforray: no weird sex stuff?

Trenchcoat: Oh, there was sex too, after dessert ;)

notbarryallen: that’s more like it

MissTimeBureau: Why.

Trenchcoat: That’s what humans do when they’re mutually attracted to each other, pet

MissTimeBureau: Very funny, Constantine.

MissTimeBureau: But please refrain from any clone jokes, it makes me uncomfortable.

Trenchcoat: That wasn’t my intention, I was referring to aliens ;)

Lancelot: Still, she’s capable of killing you, and so am I

Trenchcoat: Good thing I’m not on board then

gayforray: wait, when did you leave

gayforray: jumpship is still here

AgentGeek: Don’t forget that I am a Time Bureau agent and therefore carry a time courier

Lancelot: Dating a time bureau agent does have its perks, right Aves

Trenchcoat: I second that

MissTimeBureau: Are you dating me only for my time courier, Sara?

Lancelot: So you’ve figured it out, babe

MissTimeBureau: That hurts.

Lancelot: 🙄

Trenchcoat: Who knew she had a sense of humour

MissTimeBureau: 🔪

MiniDarhk: what did I miss, is someone going to fight

grunt: who’s gonna fight

rayofsunshine: No one is going to engage in any sort of fight.

grunt: and I thought this day just got good

gayforray: @MiniDarhk John was being his usual charming self and Gary can secretly cook

AgentGeek: It’s not a secret

MiniDarhk: the geeky agent? wow

notbarryallen: so what about you, any news 👀

ZariIsTheBest: there are so many emojis in the world and in the pack I coded but the one most used here is still the weird eyes

gayforray: you use them too when it doesn’t concern you 😉👀

ZariIsTheBest: how does any of this concern me

rayofsunshine: It’s funny that whenever someone asks Nora something, everyone automatically assumes it’s connected to Zari.

notbarryallen: that’s a mood

Lancelot: Do tell, what’s going on

MiniDarhk: nothing’s going on, I’m watching shows in my bed

gayforray: with Zari

MiniDarhk: no you perv

ZariIsTheBest: I’m in a different room altogether

ZariIsTheBest: practicing with my totem

notbarryallen: are you still avoiding each other 👀

MiniDarhk: fuck your eyes emoji

MiniDarhk: we’re not avoiding each other, why would we?

ZariIsTheBest: we just don’t spend much time together, why should that mean something

Lancelot: You share a room

gayforray: and you made out

rayofsunshine: And you promised us to think and talk about it.

gayforray: and from what I’m getting from all of this, you didn’t

ZariIsTheBest: uh

MiniDarhk: zari, are you avoiding me

ZariIsTheBest: no, I’m not, we talk at breakfast and all

MiniDarhk: you are

ZariIsTheBest: ok maybe I am

MiniDarhk: is it because of what I said?

ZariIsTheBest: no, it’s not you

ZariIsTheBest: it’s just. like I said, I’m not used to any of this and it terrifies me

ZariIsTheBest: because things are different in 2042

ZariIsTheBest: you of all people should understand what it was like for me, a lesbian muslim meta, to live there

gayforray: you’re technically not a meta when you’re a totem bearer

Lancelot: They didn’t know that, Nate

ZariIsTheBest: I didn’t know that, Nate

gayforray: sorry

gayforray: sometimes I can’t keep my mouth shut

gayforray: or the equivalent for that… in texting

MiniDarhk: I don’t know much about that, zari, but I do know what it’s like to live as a vessel for a time demon for 20 years, secluded from all people and like, nice things

ZariIsTheBest: this isn’t one of those who-has-it-worse competitions, right

ZariIsTheBest: cos if it were we’d both win

ZariIsTheBest: I’m sorry, Nora

MiniDarhk: thanks

MiniDarhk: I’m sorry for what you had to live through too

gayforray: I know that all sounds awful and I can sympathize, but damn, you’re actually a perfect match, how’s that even possible

gayforray: I know, I’m quiet

notbarryallen: you’re not wrong, pal

Lancelot: You can be miserable together

ZariIsTheBest: hey who said anything about being miserable

ZariIsTheBest: I love my new life and this fucked-up family

MiniDarhk: can’t believe I’m saying that but I kinda like you guys too, with all your nonsense and awful hangovers

rayofsunshine: Thanks, that’s sweet!

notbarryallen: you said that for the second time, I’m counting

MiniDarhk: don’t get too full of yourselves ok

MiniDarhk: I can still kill you all

grunt: damn girl, I’d join you

Lancelot: Oh come on, Mick

rayofsunshine: You love us.

ZariIsTheBest: you sure? he doesn’t even remember most of our names

grunt: who needs names, I can live without knowing them

notbarryallen: also mood

grunt: agree with the new kid

notbarryallen: I’ve been here longer than john but ok

grunt: whatever, new kid

Trenchcoat: You think being called trenchcoat is much better, lad

notbarryallen: you do wear one 24/7

Trenchcoat: more like 20/7, I do need some sleep

Lancelot: You can function with four hours of sleep?

Lancelot: How

gayforray: right, Sara the night owl

Lancelot: I love sleep despite all I’ve been through, sue me

rayofsunshine: Staying up for three days doing research and relying solely on caffeine isn’t exactly an example of a healthy lifestyle, baby.

gayforray: when’s the last time I did that

ZariIsTheBest: on our last case

rayofsunshine: Which was three days ago.

gayforray: fair point

gayforray: but I don’t see anyone else here having a degree in history and doing it instead of me

AgentGeek: I have a degree in history

ZariIsTheBest: Gary?

notbarryallen: man, you’re full of surprises

AgentGeek: All Time Bureau agents have a degree in history

ZariIsTheBest: makes sense

MissTimeBureau: It’s true.

gayforray: you volunteering to do my research then?

AgentGeek: Uh… no

AgentGeek: I have my own things to do, you know

gayforray: then why say that

AgentGeek: You asked

AgentGeek: Unless that would mean I’m a legend?

Lancelot: You’re already sleeping here every other night and help us with cases, I think it’s safe to say that you are an intern legend

AgentGeek: I am?

ZariIsTheBest: Sara, are you sure? you insisted he wasn’t

Lancelot: You’re dating a legend, you are one

gayforray: did someone say that?

Lancelot: I did, just now

MissTimeBureau: So you think I’m a legend too?

Lancelot: Yeah, Aves

MissTimeBureau: I don’t know if I should be honoured or offended.

AgentGeek: The first, definitely the first, boss

Lancelot: For the first time in my life, I agree with Gary

AgentGeek: Yay

Lancelot: Don’t get overexcited

AgentGeek: That’s impossible right now, captain, I’m officially a legend! That’s always been my dream

Trenchcoat: I’d happily switch places with you, love

gayforray: listen up, buddy. I think we’ve agreed that you like it here, despite you insisting you don’t

Lancelot: Yeah, we gave you something meaningful to do with your miserable life, you should be thankful

Trenchcoat: I was more than happy with my miserable life and old cases, thanks

ZariIsTheBest: if you say so

gayforray: but you’re not unhappy now, are you?

gayforray: you’ve got a bed here, you can travel through time, we don’t make you wear costumes, and you’ve got a guy you seem to love

Trenchcoat: I suppose you’re right, Heywood

gayforray: hah!

gayforray: so will you help me with research or not, Legend Gary

AgentGeek: I think you’re better at this job than I am

ZariIsTheBest: on that, we can agree

ZariIsTheBest: I can help you if you want

rayofsunshine: So can I!

gayforray: and now you’re all selfless

ZariIsTheBest: we’re not all bad

notbarryallen: yeah, you are

notbarryallen: zari wants to avoid nora and ray wants to be close to his bf, that’s all

ZariIsTheBest: not cool, man

rayofsunshine: Busted…

gayforray: there’s not a case right now

gayforray: but when there is, you’re helping me, wally

notbarryallen: no, why

gayforray: you’re my best friend, and you’re a speedster

gayforray: don’t try arguing with me

gayforray: but Ray can help too ;)

rayofsunshine: Now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve changed my mind.

MiniDarhk: zari

ZariIsTheBest: yeah

MiniDarhk: you, me, kitchen, now

MiniDarhk: you’re not avoiding me anymore

ZariIsTheBest: …okay

gayforray: DEVELOPMENT

Lancelot: It’s been about time

Chapter Text



gayforray: okay, I’m sick of this silence, will someone tell me what happened

rayofsunshine: What do you mean? Did I do something?

gayforray: no, not you

gayforray: Z and Nora

notbarryallen: something definitely happened between them

animalgirl: What happened?

Lancelot: That’s what we’re trying to find out

gayforray: it’s been a week

Lancelot: Do you think…?

rayofsunshine: They haven’t been acting in an unusual manner at breakfast or during missions, as far as I can tell.

notbarryallen: exactly

notbarryallen: but no one’s talking about it

MiniDarhk: you should rename the chat to legends of gossip

gayforray: who’s said anything about you, no, not me,

Lancelot: That’s actually fitting

notbarryallen: so 👀

MiniDarhk: we still share a room

notbarryallen: so

MiniDarhk: everything’s great, get out of our hair

Lancelot: So is it we now 👀

ZariIsTheBest: I will erase the eyes emoji from existence

gayforray: can’t delete it from all our keyboards

ZariIsTheBest: watch me

ZariIsTheBest: Wally, use your speed and grab the phones

notbarryallen: no can’t do

ZariIsTheBest: traitor

ZariIsTheBest: you can’t use my games console anymore

gayforray: it’s not like you let him use it anyway

notbarryallen: thanks for backing me up, man

gayforray: likewise

ZariIsTheBest: whatever

ZariIsTheBest: since you won’t stop going on about it, I might as well tell you

gayforray: 😏

MiniDarhk: not with that attitude, heywood

ZariIsTheBest: Nora and I are in some sort of a… trial relationship

ZariIsTheBest: it changes nothing on this ship and you won’t talk about it anymore, got it?

gayforray: quiet as a mouse

grunt: mouses aren’t quiet, pretty

rayofsunshine: *mice

gayforray: it’s an expression

gayforray: but shh, that was my point

notbarryallen: trial relationship… like sheldon and amy

Lancelot: You watch that show?

gayforray: please don’t remind me of tbbt

rayofsunshine: But it’s not so bad, it’s about scientists! And it’s funny!

Lancelot: Do you watch that show, Ray?

rayofsunshine: Yes.

gayforray: no

gayforray: every sitcom is better than tbbt, baby

ZariIsTheBest: let’s face it, Ray is a doctor of who-knows-what and has OCD and is bad at reading people sometimes

ZariIsTheBest: who does that remind you of

Lancelot: Damn, girl, you’re right

Lancelot: Congrats, btw ;)

rayofsunshine: I don’t know what you’re talking about, captain.

gayforray: apparently she’s comparing you to Sheldon

gayforray: one, not true, two, every sitcom is better than tbbt

notbarryallen: hamill himself said it

notbarryallen: and he was in it

notbarryallen: b99 forever

gayforray: and the good place

ZariIsTheBest: one day at a time

Lancelot: Parks and Rec

gayforray: the office us

Trenchcoat: The office UK

AgentGeek: FRIENDS

grunt: the simpsons

gayforray: Mick, you watch the Simpsons 👀

grunt: none of your business

MiniDarhk: from what I’ve seen here, you all secretly watch tbbt

notbarryallen: exCuSe mE

ZariIsTheBest: do you?

MiniDarhk: I love sitcoms…?

gayforray: ha! you do!

rayofsunshine: What can I say, it’s a guilty pleasure show.

rayofsunshine: And you cried at Sheldon and Amy’s wedding, Nate!

gayforray: didn’t… I don’t watch that crap… I didn’t even know you watched it…

Lancelot: Can’t hide it from us, Nate

gayforray: okay fine I watched a few episodes with Ray but that doesn’t mean I like it

gayforray: literally every show is better than tbbt and that’s a fact

notbarryallen: ok I believe you

ZariIsTheBest: it’s true

rayofsunshine: How do you know it?

ZariIsTheBest: my brother, Behrad, he loved it as a kid and we watched together, old reruns…

MiniDarhk: I’m sorry about that

ZariIsTheBest: thanks but you can’t do anything about it anyway

gayforray: anyhow, who’s excited for the new doctor who?

notbarryallen: everyone, nate

rayofsunshine: It’s in three weeks!

ZariIsTheBest: you’re gonna love it

MiniDarhk: her tardis

ZariIsTheBest: and those rainbow t-shirts

MiniDarhk: actual diversity

ZariIsTheBest: Graham being tired of everyone’s shit

ZariIsTheBest: reminds me of myself, tbh

MiniDarhk: I still remember that one quote from episode 2

MiniDarhk: you know the one

ZariIsTheBest: ???

MiniDarhk: come to daddy

ZariIsTheBest: 😂 that one


gayforray: I get that you’re from the future and have seen it multiple times but please don’t rub it in our faces, thanks

notbarryallen: do we really have to wait @Lancelot

Lancelot: Yes, we do, watching future TV might be dangerous, as I’ve told you numerous times before

Lancelot: But don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited for 13

notbarryallen: that’s just gay culture

ZariIsTheBest: yeah

rayofsunshine: Maybe we’ll get stuck on a mission for a month and come back when it’s already on.

Trenchcoat: Don’t jinx it, mate, you know it might happen with you idiots

Lancelot: We’re not idiots

Lancelot: But it’s true

rayofsunshine: Sorry.

grunt: agree with trenchcoat, you’re all idiots

gayforray: well thanks, Mick

grunt: you’re welcome

gayforray: I was being sarcastic

rayofsunshine: Speaking of Doctor Who, do you want to continue in our rewatch? We’re almost at the end!

gayforray: always a good idea

gayforray: you can have the bed this time @ZariIsTheBest @MiniDarhk ;)

MiniDarhk: wow, why the solidarity

ZariIsTheBest: I told you not to talk about it, Nate

MiniDarhk: …right

MiniDarhk: we’ll still take you up on that offer

ZariIsTheBest: agreed

MiniDarhk: you can squeeze in though

Lancelot: And we’ll be on the floor again, great

Trenchcoat: I’m not complaining

Lancelot: Yeah, cause you and Gary love making Ava’s life a living hell

rayofsunshine: Where is Ava, anyway?

Lancelot: Working

gayforray: for three days?

Lancelot: I miss her

Trenchcoat: I don’t

Lancelot: Shut up, John

Lancelot: Okay, I’m coming to your room now, be decent ;)

gayforray: that was once

gayforray: it was Ray’s fault

gayforray: stop reminding me

notbarryallen: ray’s fault, huh 👀😏

gayforray: he’s too beautiful when he’s excited about something

gayforray: just shut up and come here

ZariIsTheBest: on my way

MiniDarhk: you’re not gonna do anything in the meantime right

rayofsunshine: I’ll stop him if he tries.

Trenchcoat: I wouldn’t mind

Lancelot: For god’s sake, John

notbarryallen: I’m taking my spot at the table

gayforray: we can see, you just ran in here and raised all the blueprints on the desk into the air

notbarryallen: sorry

notbarryallen: and they don’t

ZariIsTheBest: you always sit on the chair, the four of us are on the bed, Sara and co. are under it and Mick doesn’t care. we all know how this goes

rayofsunshine: Who’s ready for Heaven Sent?

notbarryallen: this episode is so cool

gayforray: wait, is that an emergency alarm? why is there an emergency alarm? why now?

rayofsunshine: No, I really wanted to watch Doctor Who!

Lancelot: Alright everyone, I have bad news. Looks like time pirates

Lancelot: Gideon confirmed it, it’s time pirates. Come to the bridge, we have to shake them off

grunt: I thought I’d never see those fuckers again

grunt: why

gayforray: yeah

gayforray: why now

ZariIsTheBest: Ray, you totally jinxed it

rayofsunshine: I said I was sorry!

MiniDarhk: doesn’t do us much good

MiniDarhk: I’m gonna strangle you if we really get stuck in a different time period because of your stupid doctor who

rayofsunshine: Doctor Who isn’t stupid! You love it!

MiniDarhk: I do, but does it really make a difference?

rayofsunshine: No?

MiniDarhk: there you go

Chapter Text

‘Hold on tight!’ Sara screamed over the sound of blasters hitting the Waverider’s shields and rattling of the ship’s interior. There was a burst of sparks somewhere above her head every now and then. ‘The time pirates have knocked us out of the temporal zone!’

Nate clutched at a seat he didn’t have time to get into. ‘Oof, that’s bad.’ He looked as though trying not to vomit.


‘Zari, I told you I was sorry! I couldn’t have known it was actually going to happen! And besides, the Time Bureau is going to save us, Gary’s got his time courier, right, Gary?’

‘Uh, actually,’ the agent, glasses and tie askew, looked round apologetically (while also being absolutely terrified). ‘I think I left it in John’s apartment.’

John rolled his eyes. ‘Oh, bollocks.’

Gary was screaming. Everyone else was screaming at him.

The Waverider spun frantically, sliding through time and space and inevitably crashing. Sara had no power over the controls.

Captain, I’m afraid the fire has damaged the time drive and my matrix. These are some very smart time pirates. I’m about to shut—’

‘Down. Great, we’ve lost Gideon,’ she shouted in frustration. She let go of the controls and held on for her life. The harness was going to leave bruises.

Mick shot a heated look at Ray. ‘You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!’

His ATOM suit clinked at he jumped up and down in his seat. ‘How many times do I have to say it wasn’t my fault?’

‘Prepare for a rough landing, guys!’

This happened way too often to be comfortable with.

There was a huge blow that travelled all the way to their bones.

And then there was silence.

Chapter Text



MissTimeBureau: Guys, I can’t reach you through the comms. Are you here?

MissTimeBureau: I have no connection to the Waverider or Gideon whatsoever.

MissTimeBureau: Sara?

MissTimeBureau: Sara, I love you, please answer.

animalgirl: They aren’t here, Ava. I think they went back in time.

animalgirl: Or forward, who knows.

MissTimeBureau: This is bad.

AgentGeek: I can’t find them anywhere, boss

MissTimeBureau: Just keep looking for any unusual activity, will you?

AgentGeek: I’ve tried spells John taught me but it didn’t work

animalgirl: Are you sure Constantine is a reliable source of information, Gary?

AgentGeek: Yes?

MissTimeBureau: Well, you are sleeping together so maybe you’re a little biased.

AgentGeek: Excuse me, we’re in a semi-functional relationship

animalgirl: Semi-functional?

AgentGeek: Uh

AgentGeek: Complicated

MiniStein: Oh my god, what happened with the legends? Can I help you in any way?

MissTimeBureau: There’s no need, Miss Stein, the Time Bureau are working on it.

MiniStein: But you could always use an extra pair of hands, right? Or maybe six pairs?

MiniStein: I can tell Cisco and co. to search for any aberrations in history.

MissTimeBureau: This has happened before, I’m sure we can find them.

AgentGeek: Don’t be stupid, boss, we need all the help we can get

animalgirl: I wish I could do something…

MissTimeBureau: Gary, are you saying we are incompetent to find a ship somewhere in time?

AgentGeek: No, no, I’m not

MissTimeBureau: And I appreciate the offer, Miss Jiwe.

MissTimeBureau: They didn’t happen to land in 1942, did they?

animalgirl: Not that I know of.

MiniStein: I called team Star Labs and briefed them on the situation anyway.

MissTimeBureau: You did?

MissTimeBureau: Thank you.

MiniStein: No problem! They’re my friends too, you know.

animalgirl: Wouldn’t this be easier if one of them could talk to us?

MiniStein: That’s true.


MiniStein added goodvibes to Legends of Gay™


AgentGeek: How did you do that?

MiniStein: I’m a scientist, I know my way around a mobile application.

goodvibes: hello, I hear you’ve lost the waverider

goodvibes: we’re on it 👍🏽

goodvibes: woah you have a custom set of emojis how did you do that

animalgirl: Zari coded them.

goodvibes: 👌🏽 *trans flag emoji*

goodvibes: you’re amaya, right?

animalgirl: Yes, that’s me.

goodvibes: cool

MissTimeBureau: We’ve used every possible algorithm we could think of and we couldn’t find the Legends anywhere. Do you have any ideas?

goodvibes: normally I’d use our satellite, which unfortunately devoe destroyed, but they don’t call me vibe for no reason

goodvibes: do you have anything that belongs to one of the team?

AgentGeek: My apartment’s full of John’s clothes and bones

animalgirl: Bones?

AgentGeek: For spells

MissTimeBureau: Sara and I live together

goodvibes: yeah let’s just go with that

goodvibes: iris looked you up, I’ll be there in a sec

goodvibes: found em

MissTimeBureau: That’s great!

MissTimeBureau: Wait, were you just in my apartment?

MissTimeBureau: And how did you know what object to vibe?

goodvibes: might’ve accidentally vibed something I’d rather unsee

AgentGeek: Did you 👀

MissTimeBureau: Don’t.

MiniStein: See? I knew I could help.

animalgirl: So where are they?

goodvibes: elizabethan era

goodvibes: locked up in a dungeon in the tower of london?

MissTimeBureau: Is that a question or an answer?

goodvibes: answer

goodvibes: 90% sure

goodvibes: I’m also 90% sure they’re gonna be executed

MissTimeBureau: Gary, get a team ready to pick the Legends up.

AgentGeek: On it

goodvibes: sorry my powers have been a bit off since I channelled gipsy’s powers and then we broke up and ralph’s been trying to make me get over her but I can’t and I still feel her everywhere, every time I try to vibe

animalgirl: I’m sorry to hear that, Cisco.

goodvibes: yeah, well, nothing’s helped so I’m glad I can help you

MissTimeBureau: Is there anything we can do?

goodvibes: unless you figure out a way to make sure barry never disappears in 2024

MissTimeBureau: Sorry, Mr. Ramon, but we can’t directly interfere with the future. It’s very fragile and could fall apart, which is something I’m sure you know.

goodvibes: yeah didn’t think so

goodvibes: guess we have to figure it out ourselves, good thing we have nora

MissTimeBureau: Nora Darhk?

goodvibes: no, nora west-allen, from the future, it’s complicated, don’t ask

MissTimeBureau: For the sake of time itself, I won’t.

AgentGeek: We’re good to go, boss

AgentGeek: Found them in 1572

MissTimeBureau: Good, I’m on my way.

MissTimeBureau: Thank you again for your help, Mr. Ramon.

goodvibes: come on, y’all can call me cisco

goodvibes: and anytime 😉

goodvibes: also do you think I can stay in this chat

animalgirl: That’s up to the Legends to decide.

goodvibes: nah it’s fine, I’d love to, I mean, you guys have your own tardis n all that, but I shouldn’t

goodvibes: or should I

goodvibes: no I shouldn’t

goodvibes: adios


goodvibes left Legends of Gay™



Chapter Text



ZariIsTheBest: good news everyone, I fixed Gideon, now we can get the hell out of medieval England

AgentGeek: We could’ve gotten you back home through a portal

Lancelot: And how would you get the Waverider back, genius?

AgentGeek: Oh, right, didn’t think of that


gayforray: yeah

Lancelot: Be thankful he saved our asses

Lancelot: Also, how did I deserve someone like you in my miserable life, I just don’t know @MissTimeBureau

Lancelot: I love you too <3

MissTimeBureau: No, Sara, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. You’re so smart and gorgeous and brilliant and you fight for what you love. I’m just a clone from the future.

Lancelot: Enough with that already, yeah? You’re the director of the Time Bureau and you’re our family. We all love you

MiniDarhk: do we

ZariIsTheBest: shut up

Lancelot: Most of all yours truly ;)

MissTimeBureau: <3

notbarryallen: zari and nora are a mood

notbarryallen: but I’m still salty I didn’t get to talk to cisco on here

rayofsunshine: I can always add him again.

notbarryallen: nah it’s good, I’m sure he’s busy with nora

MiniDarhk: what

notbarryallen: not you

notbarryallen: barry’s daughter nora from the future

MiniDarhk: did barry allen name a daughter after me

gayforray: after his mom

MiniDarhk: so she’s also nora huh

notbarryallen: shame it’s not martha ;)

ZariIsTheBest: what, why?

gayforray: Superman and Batman’s moms? both named Martha?

ZariIsTheBest: how do you even know that

notbarryallen: cisco

gayforray: he’s a fan

Lancelot: Wait, do Bruce and Superman know each other?

gayforray: not on this Earth, they don’t

rayofsunshine: It would be funny if they knew.

AgentGeek: Batman’s name is Bruce???

Trenchcoat: You know him too, Sara?

notbarryallen: of course sara knows batman and his identity…

Lancelot: You jealous?

Lancelot: I know him through Oliver

Trenchcoat: Billionaires stick together, eh

Lancelot: And also through Ra’s al Ghul

AgentGeek: Batman was in the League of Assassins?

Lancelot: That’s how he learned how to fight

Lancelot: I thought everyone knew this

gayforray: so what’s his identity

MiniDarhk: his name’s bruce and he’s a billionaire, you have one guess

notbarryallen: bruce wayne? no way

gayforray: omg, really?

Lancelot: Shh I shouldn’t say this

Lancelot: But yeah

rayofsunshine: So I’m not the only billionaire superhero with cool gadgets, that’s great!

grunt: cool gadgets? you just have your suit, haircut

grunt: batman has a fucking cool wheels

rayofsunshine: Thanks for the booster, Mick.

AgentGeek: Wait, rewind, how do you know him, John?

Trenchcoat: Did a few stints in Gotham, big guy’s kind of hard not to run into

Lancelot: Bet you didn’t shag him though ;)

MissTimeBureau: Sara?

Lancelot: I was in college, Aves, that’s like 100 years ago

gayforray: you went to college with Batman???

Lancelot: No, it was at a fundraiser I went to with Dad and Laurel and Oliver

Lancelot: I’m pretty sure he didn’t go to college at all

Trenchcoat: Well, you’d be surprised, love

MissTimeBureau: Really?

grunt: cool

AgentGeek: John 👀

notbarryallen: I see a lot of jealousy here

gayforray: yeah, I’m jealous they both got to sleep with Batman

rayofsunshine: Well, he’s a known playboy, it’s not such a surprise.

gayforray: it is from Sara and John’s side

gayforray: it just hit me

gayforray: Batman’s bisexual, guys

rayofsunshine: That’s obvious when he slept with John.

gayforray: let me have my moment

notbarryallen: #gaysuperheroesrule2k18

AgentGeek: We should take him to Pride next year

Trenchcoat: And his wife

Lancelot: Oh yeah, she’s hot

gayforray: 👀

Lancelot: Seline Kyle, also known as Catwoman

Trenchcoat: Count Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn in, will you, and Riddler with Penguin while you’re at it and also Oracle

gayforray: is everyone in Gotham gay

Lancelot: As far as I know, yeah

rayofsunshine: The odds are very low, and yet…

ZariIsTheBest: what are the odds of every single person on this ship being gay, and yet

notbarryallen: preach

notbarryallen: so how’s it going with you and nora

notbarryallen: saw you two together in the dungeon the other day

gayforray: [image attached: nora&zari.jpeg]

MiniDarhk: 🖕

Lancelot: You guys are cute

MiniDarhk: 🔥

Trenchcoat: Hot too

grunt: agree

ZariIsTheBest: you’re gross

ZariIsTheBest: not you, Nora

MiniDarhk: not right now, you mean

ZariIsTheBest: true 😜

animalgirl: What’s going on?

ZariIsTheBest: inside jokes

gayforray: you have inside jokes, nice

gayforray: just like Ray and I have an avocado

MiniDarhk: ?

gayforray: i n s i d e  j o k e s

rayofsunshine: Please, don’t start about avocados again.

ZariIsTheBest: what’s that about

animalgirl: Why didn’t we have inside jokes, Nathaniel?

gayforray: we didn’t?

gayforray: donuts? no?

rayofsunshine: It’s about me putting butter in my coffee.

Trenchcoat: I still think that’s not right

Lancelot: We all do

gayforray: that’s why I suggested avocadoes

rayofsunshine: We argued about it for half an hour. It was actually hilarious.

MiniDarhk: didn’t know you could argue with someone at all, palmer

animalgirl: He can’t.

animalgirl: And the donuts thing wasn’t funny at all.

animalgirl: Though I did remember one thing.

gayforray: it’s pine dream, isn’t it. that was our inside joke

animalgirl: Indeed 🌲

Lancelot: Ava and I have like 20 but never mind

MissTimeBureau: How can you hate raisins.

Lancelot: They’re lifeless grapes, Aves

ZariIsTheBest: what, you don’t like raisins?

Lancelot: And you do?

Lancelot: Why

grunt: why are you talking about raisins

rayofsunshine: I think it’s one of Ava and Sara’s inside jokes.

grunt: I thought there would be cake

notbarryallen: I could have some of that

MiniDarhk: do you two really have to eat all the time

notbarryallen: I do, speedster metabolism

notbarryallen: mick’s mick

Lancelot: So you’re all raisin supporters

Trenchcoat: I don’t care for them

Lancelot: Thanks

notbarryallen: I love sugary raisins

gayforray: I make Gideon put them in my oatmeal

gayforray: new topic

gayforray: I walked into the kitchen and saw Mick and Wally fabricating pie and red slushie

ZariIsTheBest: he’s really into that now, right

animalgirl: He’s always been into slushies.

gayforray: how do you know that? I didn’t know that

animalgirl: We’re friends.

MissTimeBureau: Uh, don’t remind me of the free bar at the party we threw for you.

gayforray: he’s putting vodka in it now

gayforray: [video attached: vodkaslushie.mp4]

ZariIsTheBest: Wally in the background 😂

notbarryallen: always be ready in case you’re being filmed

rayofsunshine: 👍

rayofsunshine: So I know this was what caused this muddle in the first place, but since we skipped a month, can we go watch the first three episodes of season 11 of Doctor Who?

gayforray: hell yes

ZariIsTheBest: always

MiniDarhk: but you still can’t apologize enough even if you leave us the bed

rayofsunshine: That’s fair.

rayofsunshine: But I did say I was sorry at least ten times, I was counting.

Lancelot: Yeah, in the Tower of London dungeon

Lancelot: In 1572

gayforray: you do realize what that was, right

gayforray: we were in an episode of doctor who

notbarryallen: the day of the doctor

ZariIsTheBest: if only the door wasn’t actually locked

ZariIsTheBest: okay, we’re watching in our room

MiniDarhk: there’s popcorn and beer

grunt: great I’ll bring my slush

notbarryallen: and pie

grunt: and pie

Chapter Text



ZariIsTheBest: holy beebo

notbarryallen: what happened

ZariIsTheBest: you don’t want to know

notbarryallen: I do now

ZariIsTheBest: Nora and I walked into the kitchen to get a snack and saw Nate and Ray going at it on the table

ZariIsTheBest: it’s on my list of things I want to unsee

notbarryallen: lol what did you do

MiniDarhk: I’d watch but zari wanted to go away

Lancelot: 👀

Trenchcoat: I like your attitude

ZariIsTheBest: I love you guys and I love them but did I ever say, you’re gross

Trenchcoat: On multiple occasions, actually

MiniDarhk: sorry but you can’t expect us all to be ace and never watch porn

Lancelot: Porn is one thing, but they’re our friends

notbarryallen: family

MiniDarhk: come on, let a girl live

MiniDarhk: a few months ago you were so eager to get them together, remember

notbarryallen: well they are the cutest couple, no doubt

Lancelot: Excuse me?

ZariIsTheBest: you and Ava are cute too

notbarryallen: like your collection of fluffy slippers

Trenchcoat: So I’m not the only one who thinks they’re ridiculous

MissTimeBureau: They are ridiculous, babe, but I love them.

notbarryallen: it’s like colorful cat hair

Lancelot: You trying to make me mad on purpose, kid

ZariIsTheBest: please don’t start the cat people v dog people debate again

MiniDarhk: so how long are they gonna be there

MiniDarhk: cause I’m really hungry

notbarryallen: so am I

grunt: me too

ZariIsTheBest: you’re always hungry, we know

grunt: I love food

Lancelot: And beer

Trenchcoat: I can make myself invisible and go there, I don’t mind ;)

notbarryallen: john, no

MiniDarhk: you can really make yourself invisible?

Trenchcoat: Can’t you, since you’re such a great witch?

MiniDarhk: warlock

MiniDarhk: and I’ve never tried

MissTimeBureau: If you’re really hungry, why don’t you come to my place and have pizza? It’s Saturday so I have a day off.

Lancelot: Are you trying to spoil us into behaving, Aves?

MissTimeBureau: Maybe.

notbarryallen: I’ll never say no to pizza

grunt: yeah

grunt: even if it’s at time pig boss’s place

MissTimeBureau: What did you just call me?

Trenchcoat: Ignore him, Sharpie

MissTimeBureau: 😠

MissTimeBureau: I’m really not in a mood for this today.

Trenchcoat: What got your knickers in a twist

MissTimeBureau: You.

Lancelot: That’s it, you’re uninvited

ZariIsTheBest: but we can still go, right

ZariIsTheBest: I love your place

ZariIsTheBest: maybe I’m biased cause I grew up in DC, but still, it’s really nice

notbarryallen: never thought of you as someone who’d appreciate modern architecture

MiniDarhk: it’s kinda retro for us

ZariIsTheBest: yeah

Lancelot: Guess that it’s a wholly different point of view

Trenchcoat: Architecture couldn’t have changed that much in 24 years, could it?

MissTimeBureau: It could.

gayforray: what’s going on, my phone’s pinging like crazy

gayforray: oh

gayforray: fuck, I’m embarrassed

ZariIsTheBest: you better

notbarryallen: so how was it

gayforray: great

gayforray: still embarrassed, and sorry

rayofsunshine: We got a little carried away.

MiniDarhk: I bet

ZariIsTheBest: can we still eat at Sara and Ava’s place

MissTimeBureau: I’ve invited you over once, so I can’t exactly cancel that invitation, can I?

grunt: yes you can

grunt: but you won’t, right

MissTimeBureau: I suppose not. We could watch some movies if you want?

Lancelot: That would be great

rayofsunshine: Have you ever noticed that all we ever do in our free time is watch movies and shows?

gayforray: you love watching movies and shows

rayofsunshine: I never said I didn’t, I merely stated a fact.

ZariIsTheBest: we also play video games

ZariIsTheBest: and regular games

notbarryallen: and eat

Lancelot: And get drunk and have sex

Trenchcoat: You also do science and combat practice, very loudly might I add

grunt: I watch football

ZariIsTheBest: and surprisingly enough, read sci-fi books

Lancelot: Yeah, that’s really weird

grunt: why

MissTimeBureau: You don’t exactly seem like the reading type, Mr. Rory.

ZariIsTheBest: have you ever published your space erotica novel 👀

Trenchcoat: His what

gayforray: he secretly wrote a sci-fi book that’s not as bad as one would think, don’t you know that?

Trenchcoat: No

Trenchcoat: Space erotica, you said?

grunt: I won’t let the englishman read it

grunt: and no I haven’t published

rayofsunshine: Maybe you should!

grunt: you think someone would read it?

ZariIsTheBest: I’m pretty sure there are individuals weird enough to honestly like it on this earth

ZariIsTheBest: going to a publisher won’t hurt

gayforray: do you think there’s one who will not only resist setting it on fire but actually give him a publishing deal

ZariIsTheBest: don’t be so critical, let him have it

ZariIsTheBest: but Ray’s right, we’re terrible adults, aren’t we

Lancelot: We did save the world a couple times and got medals for it, so it can’t be that bad

MissTimeBureau: Just because the Time Bureau gave you medals, doesn’t mean you don’t have your issues.

Lancelot: Well thanks, Aves

MissTimeBureau: I love you despite them.

gayforray: all of us?

MissTimeBureau: No, just Sara. I tolerate the rest of you.

ZariIsTheBest: you wouldn’t invite us over for pizza if you didn’t like us at least a little bit

notbarryallen: ^^

MissTimeBureau: Maybe a little bit.

MissTimeBureau: Game Fridays are fun.

gayforray: ha! knew it

gayforray: but wouldn’t it be easier to have some pizza here, Ava can come over

gayforray: the kitchen’s clean

ZariIsTheBest: it will never be clean enough

gayforray: you’re all acting like John and Gary never had sex on the counter

Trenchcoat: Add the table and chairs, mate

MissTimeBureau: Ugh.

Trenchcoat: Not a fan of shagging on random surfaces?

MissTimeBureau: Sara and I do it in bed, like normal people.

ZariIsTheBest: this is all tmi

rayofsunshine: So you’ve never…?

MissTimeBureau: Can’t speak for Sara, but no. It’s not exactly hygienic.

Lancelot: I’m surprised you don’t mind, Ray

gayforray: he minds alright but I can be very persuasive ;)

ZariIsTheBest: yup, I saw you and Amaya in the library more times I can count

gayforray: time loops don’t count

ZariIsTheBest: ahem, it wasn’t just the time I saw stuck in a time loop

rayofsunshine: Please, stop talking about it.

MiniDarhk: jealous, palmer?

notbarryallen: more like embarrassed

gayforray: let’s just say both, right, Ray

Lancelot: I’d love to talk sex with you guys

MiniDarhk: but

Lancelot: We really need to decide where to eat

rayofsunshine: Let’s vote, stay on the Waverider or go to Sara and Ava’s house?

gayforray: stay

Trenchcoat: Stay

grunt: don’t care

ZariIsTheBest: go to their house

MiniDarhk: I’m with zari

Lancelot: Our place

MissTimeBureau: I was the one who invited you, so our place.

notbarryallen: stay

gayforray: baby, it’s up to you

rayofsunshine: I say we go to Ava and Sara’s. We’re on this ship all the time, I think we could do with a little trip to the city.

grunt: maybe we’ll meet a monster to put away

ZariIsTheBest: don’t say that too loudly, Mick, you know what happened the last time

grunt: we got sent to the past

ZariIsTheBest: exactly

grunt: but we’ve been doing nothing for almost a week, I’m bored!

Lancelot: Pizza and beer will improve your mood

grunt: it better

ZariIsTheBest: hey, I’ve just noticed, where’s Gary?

Trenchcoat: Ain’t with me, love

Lancelot: Wonder what’s he gotten himself into this time

MissTimeBureau: Don’t worry, we’ll find him if he got lost somewhere.

MiniDarhk: sounds like it happens a lot

Trenchcoat: It does

MissTimeBureau: It does.

notbarryallen: 😂

Lancelot: This is it, John, you’re too deep to get out of this one

Trenchcoat: Bollocks

Trenchcoat: But deep is our forte

MissTimeBureau: Ew.

ZariIsTheBest: I’m with you on this one

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: anyone like star wars fanfiction here

gayforray: hell yes

notbarryallen: I was recommended a series and it’s dope

gayforray: recommended? by whom?

notbarryallen: I have other friends too

ZariIsTheBest: did someone say star wars fanfiction

notbarryallen: after you read this you’ll never view it the same

gayforray: I take a note of the warning

gayforray: now give me

notbarryallen: the series is called discovery and you can find it on ao3

notbarryallen: oh and it’s kylux

MiniDarhk: you should’ve led with that

ZariIsTheBest: is that a good thing or a bad thing

MiniDarhk: good thing

ZariIsTheBest: so you’re into evil space boyfriends, huh

Lancelot: What a surprise

gayforray: I thought you didn’t like star wars

Lancelot: I don’t have to like it to understand the context

rayofsunshine: omg, this is hilarious

rayofsunshine: Wally, my man, you were right

notbarryallen: /wipes off dust from jacket/ of course

ZariIsTheBest: why do you have Ray’s phone

rayofsunshine: can’t read and text at the same time, obviously

rayofsunshine: I didn’t give him permission to borrow it, just FYI.

Lancelot: And here’s Ray

rayofsunshine: How do you know?

Lancelot: Sentence structure and context

rayofsunshine: who’d bother with capitals

ZariIsTheBest: Ray Palmer

rayofsunshine: and Ava

notbarryallen: y’all capitalize names ha

Lancelot: Autocorrect does

ZariIsTheBest: it’s those apple phones…

rayofsunshine: Ray’s reading with me now

ZariIsTheBest: !

ZariIsTheBest: we’re reading on Nora’s phone

rayofsunshine: [image attached: nothingsbetterthanreadingafanficwithyourbf.jpeg]

notbarryallen: <3

Lancelot: Reading fanfiction is the best thing you can do with your boyfriend?

rayofsunshine: you’re right, Sara ;)

rayofsunshine: It is one of the best things!

ZariIsTheBest: true, Ray, true

ZariIsTheBest: Nora says “say thanks to the kid for this”

notbarryallen: you’re welcome

notbarryallen: the series has 93k words

ZariIsTheBest: cool

Lancelot: That’s a fucking novel

Lancelot: Why

rayofsunshine: People love it.

ZariIsTheBest: how long did it take you to read it?

notbarryallen: barely an hour

rayofsunshine: speedster reading, not fair

ZariIsTheBest: we love that it’s long

AgentGeek: What are you guys talking about?

ZariIsTheBest: where have you been for three days?

AgentGeek: My cell battery died and I misplaced my charger

AgentGeek: I was at home, family crisis

rayofsunshine: we’re reading a star wars fanfic

AgentGeek: 👀

ZariIsTheBest: scroll up

Trenchcoat: Why didn’t you tell me where you were, love?

AgentGeek: I’ve just said it, dead battery

AgentGeek: John, I’m sorry

Lancelot: Were you worried for Gary, John?

Trenchcoat: I dunno what you’re talking about

Lancelot: You were

ZariIsTheBest: he’s got feelings

notbarryallen: did you all miss the part where he confessed his love on this chat

rayofsunshine: what?

notbarryallen: oh right you did

notbarryallen: there was just amaya and me

Lancelot: You sneaky bastard

Trenchcoat: ;)

rayofsunshine: Nate spat out his chips because of you.

notbarryallen: 😂

rayofsunshine: it’s real

rayofsunshine: congrats, guys 👏

ZariIsTheBest: the best thing about this is Nate and Ray randomly switching phones

rayofsunshine: we both want to say things

notbarryallen: read on a pc then

rayofsunshine: clever 👌

Lancelot: Did you request Gideon to put it on the big screen

gayforray: so what if I did

ZariIsTheBest: go big or go home

rayofsunshine: This expression never made sense to me. Why is going home worse?

rayofsunshine: Why can’t you go big and go home?

notbarryallen: your atom suit can

grunt: or a dick

ZariIsTheBest: MICK

grunt: it’s true

AgentGeek: Also Ant-Man

gayforray: did it ever occur to you that your suit and Ant-Man’s suit are basically the same

rayofsunshine: Go ahead, ruin the only good thing I’ve ever done in my life.

notbarryallen: dude, I’d be thrilled

notbarryallen: and it’s true

notbarryallen: I have the same powers as six other people, two of whom are evil, and I love them

gayforray: aren’t you forgetting Savitar?

notbarryallen: he was just barry from an alternate future so idk if he counts as another speedster

Lancelot: Probably not

rayofsunshine: But that’s the thing, Wally. You have powers. I’m a scientist who built a unique suit, and now you’re telling me I copied Ant-Man.

ZariIsTheBest: and maybe iron man a bit, with the flying and shooting

gayforray: that’s not nice, Zari

ZariIsTheBest: but true

notbarryallen: I also have the same powers like pietro maximoff

Lancelot: There will always be people in comics and movies who do the same stuff like us

Trenchcoat: When it’s doctor who you’re excited, mate

ZariIsTheBest: even John is supportive, wow, what a day

Trenchcoat: I’m stating a fact

rayofsunshine: I suppose it is cool that I have Iron Man’s suit combined with Ant-Man’s.

rayofsunshine: I’m the Iron Ant-Man!

gayforray: don’t call yourself that

rayofsunshine: You’re right, it doesn’t have the ring to it. I’ll stick with The Atom.

gayforray: that’s my man

gayforray: let’s go back to reading now though

ZariIsTheBest: Nora didn’t wait for me and read on

notbarryallen: rude

ZariIsTheBest: and rolled her eyes before scrolling back

ZariIsTheBest: she can see everything we say here so I guess I should focus on reading

notbarryallen: enjoy ;)

Lancelot: Why are you so obsessed with fanfiction?

gayforray: I wouldn’t say obsessed

rayofsunshine: Have you never read one, Sara?

Lancelot: Of course I did

Lancelot: In college

notbarryallen: what about 👀

Lancelot: How am I supposed to remember that

Lancelot: Okay it was Harry Potter

Trenchcoat: Into witches and wizards, eh, Sara?

Lancelot: Shut up

Lancelot: If you think that’s why I slept with you, it’s not

AgentGeek: It’s why I slept with him

gayforray: we know, Gary

notbarryallen: what was the ship that made you read a fanfic, sara???

Lancelot: You really wanna know that, don’t you

rayofsunshine: 👀

Lancelot: Stop doing that

gayforray: 👀

Lancelot: Harry and Draco

notbarryallen: knew it

Lancelot: How

notbarryallen: gay culture

ZariIsTheBest: I would read fanfiction about doctor who for hours back in the day

ZariIsTheBest: it was illegal

notbarryallen: WHAT

notbarryallen: why

ZariIsTheBest: why don’t you ask the people who ruled this godforsaken country

rayofsunshine: No spoilers about the future, thank you.

gayforray: you didn’t last very long without looking at your cell @ZariIsTheBest

ZariIsTheBest: you know me

grunt: englishman and time pig are doing it again

grunt: loud

Lancelot: Tell them that, Mick

rayofsunshine: Must’ve missed each other.

ZariIsTheBest: Ray, stating the obvious again

gayforray: I think they’re adorable when they’re not doing weird sex stuff

grunt: that’s all the time

Lancelot: It’s nice John’s in an actual, functional relationship. You should’ve seen him before

notbarryallen: we did

gayforray: flirting with Amaya and Leo at the same time

ZariIsTheBest: he’s not that much better than that, though

Lancelot: I’ve had worse friends

rayofsunshine: Who?

Lancelot: League of Assassins, class of ‘08

Lancelot: I didn’t even realize that was 10 years ago…

rayofsunshine: Think about the bright side, if you never became an assassin, you wouldn’t have come back to Star City, met Oliver again, been recruited on this team, and become our captain.

Lancelot: But I wouldn’t have died either

rayofsunshine: They resurrected you and John rescued your soul.

Lancelot: I’ve been in hell, Ray. Literal hell

Lancelot: I believe when Lucifer said I don’t have to go back, but it’s still been the worst thing in my life

Lancelot: Or death, actually, but who knows anymore in this world

gayforray: oops, this became really dark

grunt: blondie

Lancelot: Yeah

grunt: you need a vodka slushie

Lancelot: Maybe I do

Lancelot: Thanks, Mick

ZariIsTheBest: let’s agree this is John’s fault

gayforray: well, if you want to go diving into the cause of this gloomy conversation, it’s Gary

ZariIsTheBest: who introduced John to Gary?

Lancelot: Ava

Lancelot: To save me from Mallus

gayforray: he was there because of Nora

ZariIsTheBest: if you’re going to blame someone, blame Damien Darhk

rayofsunshine: Whose fault was it that she was taken? Mine. I also elaborated on the League of Assassins conversation, so all in all, this is on me. I’m sorry.

Lancelot: My dark past will never go away, Ray. Stop blaming yourself

Lancelot: This goes for all of you

Lancelot: Who wants some vodka slushie?

ZariIsTheBest: not me

gayforray: only if you bring it to our room

Lancelot: I’m your captain, not your servant, Heywood

gayforray: there’s the Sara we know

rayofsunshine: We all love you, Sara. You’re our annoying sister.

ZariIsTheBest: and our very own Raymond Holt

Lancelot: Shut up about that already

ZariIsTheBest: nope

Chapter Text

Sleep avoided her all night.

Sara turned over and checked the clock. 3:24 a.m. A sigh escaped her mouth. Except for the digital alarm clock, the room was submerged in darkness. She could hear her own breath, and a low hum of the ship she stopped taking into account long ago.

Thoughts of the Queen’s Gambit, and the League, and her death—hell—ran around her mind over and over. She was unable to make them stop.

Without Ava next to her, warm and comforting and alive, her dreamless night was even harder. It’s been a while since she spent a night on the Waverider, by herself. It was almost unbelievable, but she got used to having someone by her side; it was something she never thought would happen again. After Nyssa.

And in that darkness, she thought that maybe John had been right. She should just leave her before Ava got hurt because that’s what Sara inevitably did. Hurt good people.

It was her hell loop. Killing the man right in front of his daughter, not because he deserved it, but because Ra’s al Ghul told her to. It still haunted her.

Mallus knew. He was a demon. He came from hell. Of course he knew. He showed her, and if she’s ever forgotten, it all came back.

3:26. She thought more time has passed. This was pointless.

Thanks, Ray, for reminding me.

But then again, it wasn’t his fault. It was all on her.

Sara got up; the metal floor was cold against her bare feet. She put on her slippers and walked out of her empty, dark room. She didn’t know where she was going until she arrived in the kitchen, which was, to her surprise, not empty.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’

‘I could ask you the same question,’ Zari said, raising an eyebrow. She was nibbling on a salad.

Sara pointed at her bowl with a look. ‘Craving rabbit food in the middle of the night, huh?’

‘Funny,’ she didn’t smile, only kept on chewing. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’

‘Likewise, except I’ve got a craving for some neat scotch.’ Sara walked over to the drink fabricator and let Gideon pour her a double whisky. She downed a half before she sat across Zari. ‘Really, why are you here?’

She sensed neither of them was in a mood for talking, but the silence was even more uncomfortable.

‘I guess I’ve been thinking about Damien Darhk and Nora and, you know, all that’s happened in the past year.’ She forked a tomato slice but decided against putting it in her mouth. ‘Sometimes I don’t know what to do.’

Sara scoffed. ‘Yeah.’ She took another sip. It helped, at least for a moment. ‘Maybe it sounds like I have everything under control, being the captain and all, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.’ She looked up. Zari ate the tomato. ‘I’ve killed people for a living, Zari. For years. Sometimes I think I’ve finally left my past behind, but then it all comes back to me, and there’s nothing I can do to take it away.’

‘Wow, Sara, I had no idea,’ she looked her in the eye. ‘Me worrying about my feelings must sound so pathetic to you.’

‘No. I think about Ava all the time, too. I feel like I don’t deserve anyone so good…’

‘Alright, don’t listen to Constantine, he knows shit about real love. What she and you have it’s real, everyone can see that. She loves you, and you love her back, so don’t you dare throw that away.’

‘Thanks. That does help a little.’ She fingered her glass absently. After a few seconds, she added, ‘But hey, I think there might actually be something real between him and Gary, too, as weird as that is.’

‘Yeah, maybe. But Gary loves John more than he will ever love him. He’s scared. Just like you, or me.’ Her gaze was directed at the table. There was a greasy stain visible even despite the poor night-time lighting. It was Mick’s turn to clean the kitchen.

‘You talking about Nora?’

Zari sucked in a breath. She was still looking at the stain rather than at Sara. ‘Yeah. Maybe. I don’t exactly know what to do with all that.’

‘Feelings?’ Sara asked. She knew the answer.

Zari finally looked up, a bitter smile playing at her lips. ‘Look at us, being all tragic and unable to process emotions like normal people and having this conversation in the kitchen in the middle of the night.’

Sara recalled about her own intrusive thoughts, nagging at her, making her go and have a drink. ‘Guess we’re both broken.’

‘Legends,’ Zari offered.

‘Yeah.’ Sara finished the contents of her glass. ‘Will it ever get better?’

‘I don’t know, Sara. That’s why I’m here.’

Sara gave her a once-over. ‘Eating salad in your pyjamas.’

‘Hey, I was hungry,’ she shot back and put a large forkful of vegetables in her mouth to demonstrate her point.

‘I’m not judging or anything.’ She came here for alcohol, after all. ‘Your pyjamas are cute.’

Zari looked down at her T-shirt with a large pink rabbit. Sara couldn’t see her face properly in the dim light, but she was sure she was flustered.

‘Go and call Ava,’ she suddenly said. ‘You need to talk to her.’

‘I don’t know, Zari. She’s probably sleeping, she doesn’t need me to ruin her night.’

‘Are you not listening? She loves you. She won’t mind.’

‘Maybe you should do by your own advice, too. About Nora. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but there’s something real there too. I saw the way you look at each other.’

Zari clutched her fork with more force than necessary. ‘I thought you stopped seeing her as a threat already.’

‘I did! But it’s still a little weird when she goes on missions with us, that’s all.’

No, that was the wrong thing to say. She trusted Nora. It was no different with her than it was with Mick and Leonard when Rip first brought them on the ship.

(Leonard. Rip. Stein. More good people who died so she wouldn’t.)

‘Well, thanks for being so supportive, this really helped.’

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve said anything.’ She made things worse. Again. ‘Told you I was broken.’

‘No, you’re—you’re right. I do like her. A lot. I’m just not good at showing those feelings.’

‘I’m sure she knows.’ Sara tapped her fingernails on the table. She couldn’t leave things this way between them. ‘Now, what’s all that about a “trial relationship”, you make out on the couch and write notes about it?’

Zari threw a piece of lettuce Sara’s way. ‘Shut up.’

‘What, can’t a girl be curious?’ She picked the lettuce up and threw it back at her. ‘And take this back, I don’t want your green stuff.’

‘Now I’m mildly offended.’

‘I should probably go and leave you to it.’ She pushed her chair back and took one last look at Zari’s ridiculous pyjamas. ‘Thanks for the talk.’ She meant it.

‘Yeah. So long.’ Zari mocked a salute and skewered some defenceless cucumber pieces.

Sara slowly wandered back to her room, feeling a little less lost than a minute ago. The mental image of the little girl, the snowy mountains, the demon inside her head hasn’t quite vanished, but it was pushed deeper to the back of her mind.

She found her mobile on her nightstand and opened her contacts. Ava was the first number on her list. Her thumb hovered above the dial button for a few seconds. She hesitated. This was a bad idea.

She pressed the button and it rang for a few seconds before a sleepy but concerned Ava said, ‘Sara, what’s going on, are you alright?’

It was good to hear her voice. ‘Yeah, I’m just—can’t sleep.’ She bit her lip. ‘Can we just talk?’

‘Yeah,’ She heard some rustling from the other side. Crispy hotel bedsheets, most likely. ‘It’s not like I’m too busy anyway.’

That evoked a laugh from Sara.

Chapter Text



gayforray: it’s dinner Friday so I’m taking the jumpship

gayforray: just letting you know

notbarryallen: wait I’m coming with you

ZariIsTheBest: what’s going on

notbarryallen: said I had other friends than you

Lancelot: Yeah, but you’ve been spending a lot of time off the ship lately

notbarryallen: so have you

Lancelot: With Ava

notbarryallen: don’t see how that’s different

gayforray: leave him alone, why can’t he have plans for Friday night

MiniDarhk: did you join a new cult

notbarryallen: hey you figured it out

AgentGeek: 😂

Lancelot: Enjoy it

gayforray: if dinner with dad can be enjoyable

MiniDarhk: why do it then

gayforray: I don’t know, maybe I want to be the bigger man and put things right with my family

gayforray: no that just sounded rude

ZariIsTheBest: we get it, Nate

ZariIsTheBest: in the meantime, we’ll just be chilling here, watching new sitcom episodes

notbarryallen: the halloween tbbt one was killing it

rayofsunshine: So you are watching TBBT!

notbarryallen: guilty pleasure shows, dude

notbarryallen: stop kink shaming me

gayforray: oho nice

Lancelot: You’ve already watched it? It airs in two hours

notbarryallen: oops

ZariIsTheBest: good approach, Wally

Trenchcoat: How do you even keep track of time, floating in the… whatever you call it

rayofsunshine: Time Vortex.

Lancelot: Temporal zone

Lancelot: And we don’t, our phones do it for us

rayofsunshine: Or smart watches.

ZariIsTheBest: who even wears a watch anymore

gayforray: Ray

rayofsunshine: People still wear watches! Do they?

MiniDarhk: maybe rich white dudes

ZariIsTheBest: he’s a rich white dude

rayofsunshine: I’m not rich anymore, Zari.

notbarryallen: and instagram models

AgentGeek: Do you have an instagram

notbarryallen: only for friends

AgentGeek: Aren’t we friends?

notbarryallen: uh, no

gayforray: we’ve just landed

rayofsunshine: My condolences.

gayforray: it won’t be that terrible

gayforray: who am I kidding, it will

Lancelot: Guys

ZariIsTheBest: bones alert?

rayofsunshine: Yes, definitely bones alert.

Lancelot: Gather on the bridge

gayforray: agh that’s even less fair now

gayforray: what magical fucker did you find this time

ZariIsTheBest: don’t know yet, but apparently, we’re going to 1692 Salem

grunt: bet it’s a witch

gayforray: okay, I don’t mind skipping the witch trials that much

Trenchcoat: My words exactly

rayofsunshine: How’s operation Dinner with Dad going?

gayforray: good steak

gayforray: but it’s a disaster

gayforray: and now he’s got this judgmental look on cause I’m looking at my phone all the time

Lancelot: Bye for now

gayforray: yeah it’s probably for the better

ZariIsTheBest: we’re on our way too

Trenchcoat: Gary, tell them not to force me to put on a ridiculous puritan get-up

AgentGeek: What John said

MiniDarhk: I’d love to see you in one

Trenchcoat: No

AgentGeek: Me too

Trenchcoat: Not even for you

Lancelot: Fine, do as you please

ZariIsTheBest: Mick, why don’t you want to come with us

grunt: why should I

grunt: you said there will be no burning witches

AgentGeek: Can I come?

MissTimeBureau: Gary, just enjoy your day off.

Lancelot: Hey, Aves

ZariIsTheBest: you’re such a slytherin

MissTimeBureau: ?

ZariIsTheBest: always reading this but never responding unless it concerns you

Lancelot: Good point ;)

MissTimeBureau: I always thought I was more of a Ravenclaw.

AgentGeek: I’m a Huffer!

rayofsunshine: So is Nate!

Lancelot: Let’s not talk about HP right now, we have a mission

ZariIsTheBest: Right

ZariIsTheBest: I’m almost dressed

grunt: what takes you so long

grunt: I’m in and out of these stupid clothes faster

MiniDarhk: [image attached: unimpressed.jpeg]

ZariIsTheBest: thanks

rayofsunshine: Nice dress. 

MiniDarhk: is a snort enough of a response for you

rayofsunshine: Wait till you see my hat!

ZariIsTheBest: @gayforray [image attached: rayshat.jpeg]

gayforray: 👍 cool hat, period appropriate

MiniDarhk: anyone else notice the photo title

MiniDarhk: ray shat

gayforray: 😂

ZariIsTheBest: …ray’s hat…

rayofsunshine: Stop talking about the hat and let’s go.

gayforray: didn’t you say you were on your way 10 mins ago

Lancelot: We’re really on our way now

grunt: I’m gonna have a burger

ZariIsTheBest: that’s great, Mick

grunt: trenchcoat’s in the kitchen asking for weird stuff

Lancelot: I’d rather not know what weird stuff you mean

Trenchcoat: Gideon won’t make me possum’s tail

MissTimeBureau: Ugh, what do you need that for?

Trenchcoat: Spells, pet

Lancelot: Tell her I say she can do that

Lancelot: But it’s gross

Trenchcoat: Ta

Trenchcoat: She’s a good girl now

MissTimeBureau: Can’t blame her for not liking you.

Trenchcoat: Guess it’s just you and me now

MissTimeBureau: No, thanks, I have a presentation to prepare.

gayforray: okay so the dinner didn’t go well

gayforray: a few more judgmental looks and a pocket of ancient coins later, I left

grunt: so why did you go there

gayforray: I literally said why before I left

grunt: englishman’s hogging my football chair

gayforray: I guess today sucks for both of us, pal

rayofsunshine: We were right, there is a witch!

gayforray: you found her already?

Lancelot: It’s a different one than we thought but yeah

rayofsunshine: And I’m sorry for that, Nate.

gayforray: yeah, well, I did see it coming

gayforray: I’ll just stay the night here

rayofsunshine: Do you want me to get you?

gayforray: no, it’s ok, babe

rayofsunshine: Okay.

MissTimeBureau: Turns out “staying the night” means the Time Bureau.

MissTimeBureau: He freaked me out.

Trenchcoat: Good

gayforray: I’ve got pants now

Lancelot: What’s going on in there

gayforray: I just walked out of the shower, I had no idea Ava was still here

MissTimeBureau: I did say I had a presentation the prepare

gayforray: didn’t think it was here

Lancelot: Ava is a terrible workaholic sometimes, isn’t that right, babe

MissTimeBureau: Sorry, but I’m the director, I have to be.

MissTimeBureau: Besides, Nate decided to help me.

gayforray: we make a good team

Lancelot: Have fun with budgets

MissTimeBureau: You remember I said that?

Lancelot: You talked about it all morning

Lancelot: We gotta go catch our witch

ZariIsTheBest: another plot twist: it’s a fucking evil fairy godmother

gayforray: what

AgentGeek: Awesome

MissTimeBureau: Fairy godmother, as in, Cinderella fairy godmother?

rayofsunshine: Exactly that one. She sang!

MiniDarhk: shut up about that already, it was awful

rayofsunshine: Maybe, but the tune was catchy.

grunt: say that again

gayforray: wow, I’ve never seen a mission from an outside perspective

gayforray: it’s almost night here but you’re all in 1692

ZariIsTheBest: that doesn’t even make sense

gayforray: I’m tired

rayofsunshine: You should go to bed.

Lancelot: Both of you

MissTimeBureau: But it’s not done yet.

Lancelot: I’m the captain

MissTimeBureau: You do enjoy bossing me around.

Lancelot: ;)

Lancelot: Have a good night, we gotta go catch this bitch of a fairy

Trenchcoat: She was here, rumbling on about hellfire and revenge

Trenchcoat: I hate that old hag

ZariIsTheBest: And you didn’t catch her?

Trenchcoat: Slippery one

Lancelot: Damn it

rayofsunshine: All that Disney adventure made me hungry.

grunt: yeah me too

rayofsunshine: You were there for like five minutes.

grunt: so

Lancelot: Let’s eat and then figure out what to do next.

rayofsunshine: Great!

Trenchcoat: I think I’ll actually join you for this one

notbarryallen: sounds like you’re having a lot of fun

Lancelot: The opposite

Lancelot: How are you 👀

rayofsunshine: First we fail to capture the fairy, and now Zari and Nora vanished.

notbarryallen: together 👀

rayofsunshine: Yes, but to the village, inevitably trying to do something reckless.

notbarryallen: wouldn’t have it any other way

notbarryallen: and I’m great

notbarryallen: clubbing

notbarryallen: ran into jax and carly

Jaxon: im reading this whole thing 4 fun u know

Lancelot: Why don’t you talk to us?

Jaxon: it makes me miss the old adventures id rather not

Jaxon: and ive got a new job so im really busy nowadays

Lancelot: Good for you, Jax

Lancelot: We should go and rescue those two

rayofsunshine: Yeah.

grunt: but we just ate

Lancelot: I’ll head out first if you’re feeling bloated

notbarryallen: nice 😁

Trenchcoat: Sara, she was here

Trenchcoat: Sealed my mouth shut and turned Palmer and Rory into pigs

Lancelot: Fuck, no

Lancelot: I have to save Zari and Nora from being burned to death as witches

Lancelot: Thanks, Mick

Trenchcoat: Can’t hear you, he’s a pig

Trenchcoat: I’m coming your way

gayforray: really, this whole time travel thing is funnier when I’m not there

gayforray: I just picked up piggy Ray because Hank needs proof magic exists because he’s in charge of Time Bureau budgets and he kinda shut it down because Gary told him all about our magical fugitives

gayforray: I have to fix it now and he’s proof

gayforray: also adorable

AgentGeek: I’m sorry I didn’t schmooze him enough

MissTimeBureau: Do you have to keep showing people your missing nipple, Gary?

Trenchcoat: He did that, didn’t he

Trenchcoat: Tomaz and Darhk are out of the pyre but it’s all going arse over tits here

gayforray: no, you need to fix it, like, right now

MissTimeBureau: The existence of the Time Bureau depends on you.

Trenchcoat: Can’t do much without my mouth, love

AgentGeek: You still have hands

Trenchcoat: We’re talking about the literal kind of magic here, Gary

Trenchcoat: Oh good, the lass released the fairy godmother, I’m free

gayforray: 👍

AgentGeek: All good on our part

MissTimeBureau: [image attached: rayisnolongerapig.jpeg]

Trenchcoat: Alright, I gotta hand it to Palmer, he works out

AgentGeek: Yeah

Lancelot: Ava 😮

Lancelot: Blue fairy is officially captured and on her way to hell

MissTimeBureau: What, it was too funny not to send.

gayforray: I introduced Ray as my boyfriend and Hank only gave me another sour look so I guess we’re fine

gayforray: and also got a budget for $4.2 b i l l i o n

Lancelot: 😘

MissTimeBureau: Nate is really good at this.

rayofsunshine: 😊

rayofsunshine: And yes, he really is. And very strong.

gayforray: I am the man of steel

AgentGeek: Isn’t that title taken?

gayforray: shut up

gayforray: I was offered a job at the Bureau

notbarryallen: yo that’s cool, nate

Lancelot: That’s great!

Lancelot: Are you going to take it?

gayforray: I don’t know yet

rayofsunshine: Did you know Time Bureau had a softball team? I got a hoodie with their logo!

MissTimeBureau: We also have a volleyball team.

gayforray: I think I’m taking the job

gayforray: but don’t worry, I’ll still live with you dorks

rayofsunshine: <3

Chapter Text



gayforray: man, I still can’t believe phoenixes are real and one of them tried to burn us alive

gayforray: in July Morocco

MiniDarhk: heywood says for the 10th time

ZariIsTheBest: more like 20th

ZariIsTheBest: and that’s been happening a lot lately

grunt: I want one as a pet

Lancelot: Of course you do

rayofsunshine: Mice aren’t enough for you now, are they, Mick?

grunt: not when I saw that beauty

Trenchcoat: A phoenix from hell is an ideal pet for Rory indeed

Trenchcoat: I think I know what I’m gonna give him for Christmas

Lancelot: NO

ZariIsTheBest: you celebrate Christmas?

Trenchcoat: It’s a fake holiday Christians created to put a stop to the solstice celebrations and all the magic used in the rituals, but I do love the eggnog and making out with a lovely bird or lad under the mistletoe

MiniDarhk: wow

gayforray: dude, you can’t ruin Christmas like this

Trenchcoat: You asked

notbarryallen: it’s not even halloween yet

Trenchcoat: Fun fact, Halloween was originally a Gaelic holiday called Samhain, and not only it celebrated the beginning of the darker days, but also rifts between worlds would open and spirits could cross over

ZariIsTheBest: great

ZariIsTheBest: trust John to ruin the good things

gayforray: wanna hear a story about Thanksgiving

rayofsunshine: We did, several times.

MiniDarhk: let us have it, degree-in-history

ZariIsTheBest: have you ever celebrated Thanksgiving or Halloween or Christmas at all?

MiniDarhk: only as a kid, when mom was still alive and dad wasn’t…

gayforray: evil

MiniDarhk: thanks for reminding me

MiniDarhk: have you, zari?

ZariIsTheBest: only Thanksgiving and Halloween

rayofsunshine: You’ve never celebrated Christmas?

ZariIsTheBest: let’s not forget I’m Muslim

rayofsunshine: Oh, right, silly Ray Palmer.

ZariIsTheBest: no it’s alright

Lancelot: You did have dinner with us last year though

ZariIsTheBest: well, I felt it would be rude not to, and besides, I do like the atmosphere of it, you know, getting together with your family and having a meal together and giving each other gifts

ZariIsTheBest: it’s the religious stuff I don’t take part in

Lancelot: Who does anymore

notbarryallen: we still go to church with dad but like we don’t really believe in god

Trenchcoat: Believe me, it doesn’t make a difference in the end, so why bother

gayforray: exactly

gayforray: even if we do actually know he exists, and the devil, and all that

rayofsunshine: I still think that’s overwhelming, don’t you? That we’re actually God’s creations and he has a plan for everyone.

MiniDarhk: and what’s that, flying in a time ship and fighting anachronisms and aberrations and aliens and magical fuckers and being possessed by a time demon

MiniDarhk: I’m not sure I like his plan

ZariIsTheBest: I believe there’s something good for all of us

MiniDarhk: well I do have you

notbarryallen: 👀

MiniDarhk: 🗡️🔥

gayforray: 👏

MiniDarhk: 😏

ZariIsTheBest: ❤️

Lancelot: 😲

rayofsunshine: 😄

Trenchcoat: Children

AgentGeek: 🖕😇❤️

MissTimeBureau: 😎

Lancelot: ❤️

MissTimeBureau: ❤️

ZariIsTheBest: *pride flag heart emoji* *Waverider emoji*

grunt: 🍺

ZariIsTheBest: Mick’s got his priorities straight

grunt: wanna have a beer with me

ZariIsTheBest: for the 100th time, I don’t drink, but thanks for the offer

rayofsunshine: Anyway, since you mentioned Halloween, I have an idea. Last year we went trick-or-treating with young me, could we do something like that again?

rayofsunshine: It is this Wednesday.

Lancelot: Ava and I already have plans

MissTimeBureau: We’re going on a date to this fancy restaurant in DC you have to book a table in three months in advance.

Lancelot: She flashed the Time Bureau card and got us in a week ago ;)

gayforray: cool

gayforray: can I like do that now too

MissTimeBureau: You weren’t supposed to tell anyone.

rayofsunshine: You can definitely try, Nate 😊

Lancelot: Sorry if I want to show everyone what an awesome girlfriend I have

ZariIsTheBest: so you’re all good?

MissTimeBureau: Why wouldn’t we be?

ZariIsTheBest: nothing, forget I said anything

gayforray: two words: time ship

gayforray: I like Ray’s idea

rayofsunshine: Thanks, Nate!

gayforray: <3

Trenchcoat: You can cross me out of whatever you come up with, ta

AgentGeek: No way, John, we’re a part of the team now

grunt: same with me

gayforray: nuh uh, this compulsory

grunt: says who

gayforray: says me, right now

gayforray: I have the authority to do that

rayofsunshine: Sara?

Lancelot: I say we do it

MiniDarhk: let’s get drunk and play monopoly so I can beat you again

gayforray: no, we said no speedster juice

rayofsunshine: And you don’t win every time, Nora.

MiniDarhk: thanks for reminding me, palmer

rayofsunshine: What I meant was, we should go out again! Or have a Halloween party with Team Flash and Team Arrow! Something of that note.

Lancelot: That wouldn’t end well

notbarryallen: lol no but it would be fun

notbarryallen: my family would be in and they’d bring cisco and caitlin and ralph too

Lancelot: Maybe, but I don’t know about team Arrow

Lancelot: Oliver’s in jail and Diaz is still after the rest

rayofsunshine: Right, I didn’t realize that. It’s sad we can’t help them.

notbarryallen: (alexa play despacito)

MiniDarhk: that old meme 😂

Trenchcoat: Did someone tell Gideon to blast that horrible song across the whole ship

MiniDarhk: that was me, you’re welcome

notbarryallen: gideon play despacito

notbarryallen: and it’s not old from our perspective

MiniDarhk: right

Lancelot: Please, turn it off, Gideon won’t listen to me

MiniDarhk: she came to like me

ZariIsTheBest: she does like me a lot

ZariIsTheBest: 😏

gayforray: interesting 👀

gayforray: anyway, I’m sure there is a way we can help them with whoever Diaz is, right?

Lancelot: You don’t want to interfere with that motherfucker

Lancelot: As much as I’d love to see his head on a spike

gayforray: oh

rayofsunshine: Sara, I’m so sorry.

Lancelot: Sorry isn’t going to bring my dad back

MissTimeBureau: I’m going to make you strawberries with whipped cream and a mimosa <3

Lancelot: <3

ZariIsTheBest: did you tell Gideon to play Hollywood Undead

MiniDarhk: what, it’s an empowering song

MiniDarhk: makes you want to murder bad guys

gayforray: that’s an interesting meaning of the word empowering

MiniDarhk: maybe you forgot who I am

notbarryallen: you know hu in the future?

ZariIsTheBest: they’re popular in the meta refugee underground

Lancelot: You know, I think they could all use the distraction

gayforray: once again, I’m sorry if I was being disrespectful

Lancelot: Wasn’t your fault, Nate

notbarryallen: I have an idea

gayforray: 👀

notbarryallen: we could have cisco breach oliver out of jail and then return him a second later so he’d be with us but no one would notice he was gone cause we have a fucking time machine

MissTimeBureau: Mr. Queen was recently stabbed in the stomach and beaten up, though.

MissTimeBureau: We’re watching him. Long story.

Lancelot: Oh

Lancelot: Gideon could patch him up

rayofsunshine: They would know he was away then, it would be too suspicious.

gayforray: you’re right

notbarryallen: let’s have a party without him then

rayofsunshine: Isn’t that a little unfair?

Lancelot: It’s unfair he’s in jail for saving the city a million times

ZariIsTheBest: Cisco could at least bring him candy

gayforray: Felicity can do that herself

rayofsunshine: Getting him out for a few minutes won’t hurt him, we could at least talk to him. Felicity would be happy.

Lancelot: We could go see my dad

Lancelot: He wouldn’t need to know we’re from the future

Lancelot: I just want to see him one more time

MissTimeBureau: Of course, Sara.

Trenchcoat: Isn’t that like against your pathetic time bureau rules

MissTimeBureau: Not now, Constantine.

Trenchcoat: Anyone else you want to invite to your hero get-together? Lucifer perhaps?

gayforray: that’s not actually a bad idea

gayforray: I bet his daughter would be excited to meet us

notbarryallen: and go trick or treating

Lancelot: Now that is a bad idea

rayofsunshine: If you want to bring someone along, John, just say so!

Trenchcoat: Better not

Trenchcoat: You don’t want an immortal and a psychic in your company

ZariIsTheBest: who now

Trenchcoat: My mates, Chaz and Zed

Trenchcoat: He’s not technically immortal, but close

gayforray: cool

gayforray: like that doctor from Forever immortal or Ra’s al Ghul immortal

rayofsunshine: You could’ve just said Highlander or Jack Harkness, no one watches Forever.

gayforray: do they

notbarryallen: don’t know what you’re talking about

gayforray: only the coolest show no one knows

gayforray: there’s a lot about antiques

Trenchcoat: I used a spell on him that made him absorb the souls of people who died in the same place as he did and he’s got as many lives as there were souls

Trenchcoat: I think he’s only on 7 now though

MiniDarhk: I’ve heard of that spell

gayforray: only seven???

MiniDarhk: didn’t know it works

Trenchcoat: Neither did I, love

Trenchcoat: I was drunk

Lancelot: That sounds legit

ZariIsTheBest: how are you not freaking about a spell that gives someone more lives by stealing other people’s souls

rayofsunshine: We’ve seen so many weird things nothing can surprise us anymore?

notbarryallen: we’ve met the devil ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lancelot: It’s John Constantine, he was probably born this eccentric

Trenchcoat: I was in a punk band in my youth

Lancelot: See

Lancelot: Okay, let’s agree on inviting our friends to a party

Lancelot: Ask whoever you want, we’ll make it wild, Legends style!

Lancelot: Now, where will it be

notbarryallen: star labs?

notbarryallen: no house is big enough to fit so many people

rayofsunshine: I agree.

grunt: I can make fun of the flash

notbarryallen: lol

notbarryallen: plus you’ll get to meet the other nora, she’s great and very gay

MiniDarhk: she’s the other nora, good

Trenchcoat: First I need to join your team and now you’re forcing me to do this

Lancelot: Don’t you want to catch up with Oliver

Trenchcoat: Not particularly

Trenchcoat: Gary’s company would be enough

AgentGeek: I’ll be there with you

notbarryallen: aww

notbarryallen: I texted cisco, let’s see what the team thinks

gayforray: 🎃🍁🍬

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: halloween at star labs is go 🎃

notbarryallen: cisco says we can’t use our suits as costumes

gayforray: :(

gayforray: that leaves us with one option

gayforray: @rayofsunshine are you moth or are you lamp

notbarryallen: 😂

ZariIsTheBest: what

ZariIsTheBest: also great news 😊

gayforray: it’s a meme

notbarryallen: [image attached: moth&lamp.png]

ZariIsTheBest: makes sense

rayofsunshine: Are you serious?

gayforray: yup

rayofsunshine: Then I take lamp.

Lancelot: Will you make it shine

rayofsunshine: That’s actually a good idea!

MiniDarhk: you’re not kidding about the costume are you

gayforray: no, we’re doing it

gayforray: Wally, tell Cisco to tell everyone this couple costume is taken

notbarryallen: tell him yourself

gayforray: rude

MissTimeBureau: Sara, are we doing a couple costume?

Lancelot: Do you want to?

MissTimeBureau: I don’t know, maybe?

gayforray: we’re all doing couple costumes, period

Trenchcoat: Not me, mate

AgentGeek: Come oooon

Trenchcoat: Over my rotten corpse

MiniDarhk: I can make that happen if it’s your wish

Trenchcoat: I think I’ll stay a bit longer, dunno what you lot would do without my expert magic skills

rayofsunshine: Period couple costumes!

gayforray: baby we’re already doing moth and lamp

rayofsunshine: I know, that was a suggestion for the others.

ZariIsTheBest: do we really have to

MiniDarhk: it’ll be fun, z

MiniDarhk: I’ll be a demon and you can be an angel 😈😇

notbarryallen: oh cool

Trenchcoat: Fancy a bit of a roleplay, do ya?

ZariIsTheBest: according to my religious beliefs, I can’t kill anyone, but I kinda want to right now

ZariIsTheBest: and I do not want to put on an angel costume

MiniDarhk: but what else will match my demon costume

AgentGeek: Beebo

gayforray: ?

gayforray: oh like Malice and Beebo, I get it

ZariIsTheBest: NO

rayofsunshine: Come on, Z, it can’t be worse than our costume.

ZariIsTheBest: you bet it can

ZariIsTheBest: I’m not dressing up as that furry monster

MiniDarhk: beebo la-la-loves you

MiniDarhk: you’re calling that a monster

Lancelot: I’ve had enough of that for this year, thanks

ZariIsTheBest: see

gayforray: is it just me or was that a confession

Lancelot: Yeah 👀

MiniDarhk: excuse me, I was mocking beebo

gayforray: Zari’s totally blushing

notbarryallen: [image attached: blushingandpissed.jpeg]

gayforray: I admit the bird was justified

Lancelot: What are you all doing in the library?

ZariIsTheBest: being bored

gayforray: I was reading but Wally dragged me into a conversation about historical cars and it all went down from that point

rayofsunshine: You do love talking about historical cars.

gayforray: yeah

MiniDarhk: if you’re so bored, come up with another idea for a costume

ZariIsTheBest: I’d prefer none at all but I guess I can’t get away with that

Lancelot: None at all, huh, Zari 😏

ZariIsTheBest: not what I meant and you know it

MiniDarhk: according to heywood you really can’t

gayforray: that’s right

gayforray: go as Malice and Beebo, entertain us

notbarryallen: I’d like to see the others trying to figure out what it means

Lancelot: Right, they have no idea what happened

rayofsunshine: This feels a little unjust.

Trenchcoat: Remember you unleashed monsters that don’t belong on this world together with Mallus

Lancelot: We couldn’t have known that!

Lancelot: Aves, any luck with our costume

MissTimeBureau: FBI agents?

Lancelot: You’d just put on your work pantsuit

gayforray: Halloween costumes must be creative

Lancelot: How about sexy doctor and nurse 👀

MissTimeBureau: Don’t you have enough of that on missions?

Lancelot: Never ;)

notbarryallen: zombie doctor and nurse

grunt: I want to be dracula

gayforray: and here I thought Mick would be the hardest to convince to do this

ZariIsTheBest: who are you taking with you, Mick 👀

grunt: nobody, why should I

notbarryallen: couple costumes?

AgentGeek: Says a single guy

AgentGeek: Sorry

notbarryallen: I have no problem having a date, mind you

notbarryallen: I’m still young and cool

AgentGeek: I had no luck convincing John to dress up as Han Solo

gayforray: and who would you be, Chewie

notbarryallen: nice one

AgentGeek: I’d be Leia, of course

Lancelot: I do not want to see that

MissTimeBureau: You’re not the only one.

rayofsunshine: He can always dress up as Castiel, all he has to do is change a tie!

AgentGeek: That’s amazing, thanks Ray!

AgentGeek: And I can be Dean Winchester

ZariIsTheBest: wow it’s been a while since I heard about supernatural

rayofsunshine: I told you people do love the supernatural. This season is all about that!

MiniDarhk: tv shows got on your mind, palmer

rayofsunshine: I meant season, as in sports season?

gayforray: baby, you know nothing about sports

rayofsunshine: You got me there. Season of the year then?

notbarryallen: so you ship destiel @AgentGeek

AgentGeek: They’re in love!

MiniDarhk: want some spoilers

AgentGeek: NO

AgentGeek: I mean thanks but I’ll wait for the real thing

Trenchcoat: Did you say I’d just need to change my tie

AgentGeek: For a blue one

Trenchcoat: Who is this Castiel fellow

AgentGeek: An angel who wears a trenchcoat

Trenchcoat: I thought the name sounded familiar

Trenchcoat: I’m not exactly a fan of those feathery pricks

gayforray: really, we’ve never noticed

Trenchcoat: Hilarious

gayforray: Wally, what are you dressing up as anyway?

notbarryallen: that’s a secret

ZariIsTheBest: so you don’t know yet

notbarryallen: I do know, just said it was a secret

rayofsunshine: Here’s an idea for next year: we could dress up as our B99 characters!

Lancelot: So you want to be Amy Santiago 👀

rayofsunshine: So what if I do? There’s nothing wrong with that!

ZariIsTheBest: no, it’s just funny

gayforray: who else is mad there’s no Halloween episode this year

notbarryallen: 😠

AgentGeek: Not only there’s no Halloween episode, but there are no episodes at all

notbarryallen: that’s what I’m angry about

rayofsunshine: At least we have Doctor Who!

Lancelot: And The Good Place

gayforray: which reminds me

gayforray: I can’t believe we missed an episode of DW because of an evil phoenix

ZariIsTheBest: it was the spider episode, right

AgentGeek: Yes

AgentGeek: I hate spiders

grunt: they’re gross fuckers

AgentGeek: I hate all creepy crawly in general, they terrify me

ZariIsTheBest: it’s also the episode where we meet Yaz’s family

ZariIsTheBest: I really love this season

MiniDarhk: because there’s a badass muslim girl who travels through time

ZariIsTheBest: how do you know

gayforray: ehm, it’s obvious

gayforray: because that’s you

ZariIsTheBest: yeah I admit it

rayofsunshine: Do the companions stay for another season?

MiniDarhk: no spoilers, that’s your rule, right

rayofsunshine: Really? I don’t like this rule.

ZariIsTheBest: we could be yaz and the doctor @MiniDarhk

notbarryallen: wait will they be together

ZariIsTheBest: no spoilers ;)

MiniDarhk: I’m not dressing up as 13, I’d have to wear a wig

gayforray: you two are Malice and Beebo, it’s been decided by the Waverider council

Lancelot: We have no Waverider council, Nate

gayforray: we do now

gayforray: it’s me, Ray, and Gideon

Chapter Text

Aves <3
Tuesday, 2018/10/30


So, Halloween’s tomorrow

Can’t this wait until the evening,
when we’re actually together?

No, I need to talk about this now

Ok <3

Our reservation at the restaurant,
could we use your time courier
and go the next day?

I wouldn’t imagine it any other
way after a party with the

Yeah, knowing us, it’s gonna be
pretty wild ;)

So we’re going to go back to
10/31 next evening, have dinner
and return to our usual time.

Sounds about right

But I have another request

About my dad

Could we go back to last year’s
Halloween? I really want to see
him, and I wasn’t home then,
so he wouldn’t even know

Before our dinner date

You know I’d do anything for
you, Sara <3

It won’t even make that much
of a mess in the timeline.

That much of a mess?

You know what I mean.


You’re really ok with this?

Of course, Sara.

As long as you need.

God, I love you

I love you too.

It’s just, ever since I became
the captain of the Waverider,
I haven’t had many chances
to go home and the last time
I saw him was Christmas

I understand it, Sara. I don’t
have real parents but I
thought I did and my memories
of having feelings for them once
are real enough so I know how
much you love your dad.

I’m sorry about what happened.

Thank you <3

You can’t imagine how much
it hurt to lose both Laurel
and then him

I really wish Diaz was dead
after what he did

And not only to Dad but to
Oliver and everyone else

They’re gonna get justice for
them all soon, Sara.

Do you know that as the
director of the Time Bureau
or are you just trying to
comfort me, Aves

That’s need-to-know.

But maybe it’s both ;)

I’ll let you get away with this

I miss you

I miss you too.

This paperwork is so boring!

Wanna come over for a

No one will know if you use
the time courier

I’m tempted.


I shouldn’t.

How much do you miss

We saw each other this morning.

Too long ago

You’re horrible.

I know ;)

I really need to finish this.

Now you’re the horrible,
responsible Ava

I am the director of the Bureau,

But you have a time courier

You don’t mind using it for
personal purposes tomorrow

That’s different.

I’ll come to the office then

You know how much I’d love
to make out with you on my
desk, but I can’t.

Says who *eyes emoji*


I’ll make it up to you in the
evening ;)

Fine, have it your way

I’m looking forward to it


I’ll officially introduce you
to Dad as my girlfriend if
you’d like. You can come
with me

I don’t want to intrude.

No, I want to do this. I want
him to be happy. I want
things to be normal at least
for a while

Before everything goes to

If that makes sense

I know time travel is tricky
but just

I get it, babe. I know this means
a lot to you.

I’ll be happy to meet the famous
Quentin Lance.

I’m sure he’ll like you since
you work for a government
organization and all that


His approval would make me
the happiest woman on Earth.
Besides being in bed with you
in our house.

And yet you won’t let me
visit ;)

You know I love you <3

Love you too

Gotta go now, I think Mick
did something with the food

I can smell burned metal
and caramel

Oh God.

He won’t help me with this

My condolences.


Seen: 2:34 PM.

Chapter Text

‘I’m not going out in this.’ Beebo’s head was sadly dangling in Zari’s hand.

Nora snapped a picture. ‘Yes, you are.’

‘I’m not. It’s stupid. And I’m too hot in this.’

‘Yes, you are…’

Zari rolled her eyes at that. ‘Shut up.’

‘Is it more ridiculous than this?’ Nora pointed at her body, stuffed in a fabricated demon costume. Unlike Zari, she has abandoned all dignity and put her mask on.


Nora extended her demon arm and wagged her demon fingers. ‘Give me the head.’

Slowly, with a sour look, Zari obliged.

‘I’m taking this. You’re coming with me; don’t make me use magic.’ It was kind of hard to take her seriously dressed in the costume. But Zari knew she was serious.

Her blue, furry hand grabbed Nora’s. ‘Fine…’

‘Sound more happy about it, will you?’




One moment he was staring at a grey bare wall covered only with scratches. The next instant, his eyebrows shot up and his mouth was agape. He was staring into the faces of Felicity, Cisco, and Sara.

They were there. Right in front of him. In his cell. Wearing Halloween costumes.

Right. Portals were a thing now.

‘Oliver…’ his wife breathed. Her face was as shocked as his own. ‘It worked.’

‘Felicity, what—what is this?’

Cisco spoke before she took a breath. ‘What do you think, buddy, we’re busting you out of jail using this awesome Time Bureau tech,’ he pointed at the bracelet on his arm.

‘Don’t worry, we’ll get you back before they know anything,’ Sara added. She wore zombie make-up and a bloody nurse uniform. ‘Right now, let’s just have fun!’

Felicity stepped inside his empty cell and took his hand. ‘I brought you a costume,’ she said, holding a garment bag in her free hand. It probably matched her Disney princess dress.



John raised the empty red cup he’s pulled out of a column of twenty identical cups and scrunched up his nose. ‘Really? Going full-on American college party?’

Cisco gave him the side-eye. ‘This was all very last minute, thank you. Drink straight from the bottle if it bothers you that much.’

He dropped the cup onto the table behind him. ‘Thanks, mate, that’s a brilliant idea.’

Shaking his head, Cisco left. John looked at Caitlin, sipping cider next to the spot previously occupied by him. ‘What’s wrong with this guy?’

‘He still hasn’t gotten over Cynthia…’

As if John was supposed to know that was. He didn’t even know who Caitlin was, just that she looked very pale and sexy in her vampire costume. Or that she has had the same idea as Mick.

He swaggered off to find a bottle of gin, and maybe Gary, too.



‘I really like your costumes, guys,’ Curtis, dressed as Doc Brown, said. They didn’t even notice he was there before he spoke. One would say it was hard to miss a tall, athletic, dark-skinned man with hair sticking in every direction, but the guy was very silent. ‘It’s so funny, you know, seeing someone actually did it. Moth and Lamp. Hilarious.’

‘Yeah, I know, it was my idea,’ Nate winked.

Ray pointed at Curtis’ costume with a grin. ‘Yours is great too! I love Back to the Future.’ The lightbulb on his head flashed. ‘Uh-oh, something’s wrong. I knew it was a bad idea to use my suit to power this…’

Curtis cocked an eyebrow. ‘You used dwarf star to power a Halloween costume?’

‘It seemed like a good idea at the time. Sara asked me if I’ll make it shine, so I thought, why not?’

‘You could’ve used a solar battery or something,’ Curtis suggested. He took an awkward sip from his cup.

‘I have actually thought of that, but—’

Someone across the room caught Nate’s eye. There was Wally, laughing at something with a very attractive young man he didn’t know. Way too intimately. This was an interesting of events.

‘Let’s agree it’s a cool costume, and the flashing bulb is making it even cooler.’ Nate interrupted Ray’s ramble, patting his chest. ‘Please excuse me, I need to go and find out who’s that with Wally.’

Sara and Ava stood nearby, so he headed in their direction.

‘Hey, Sara.’ Nate bumped into her and almost got his arm broken as a result. ‘Jeez, relax, it’s just me.’

She let him go. ‘Nate, I’m sorry.’ Ava caught her shoulder, nonverbally asking if she was alright. ‘Are you alright?’ she asked Nate then.

‘Yeah, I’m made of steel, remember?’ he answered. ‘Anyway, do you know who’s Wally’s plus one over there?’ He subtly pointed at the pair with his head.

‘I was wondering about him too,’ she said and drank from her red cup.

‘You think he’s got a boyfriend?’ asked Ava, whispering.

Nate whispered back, ‘I don’t know. And I want to know.’

‘How much have you had?’ asked Sara.

Nate waved his hand vaguely in the air. ‘Just this and that. Let’s go.’



‘Bobbing for apples? Seriously? This is an adult party, not a party for twelve-year-olds.’

‘Okay, that’s fair, but,’ Felicity said, standing by the large bowl, ‘which of you has never done any of these games?’

Ten hands went up in the air.

‘See? Let’s do some apple-bobbing!’



Mick crept behind her slowly. It was easy—this girl was so volatile and out of this world with her thoughts. He leant over her, opened his fanged mouth and roared. ‘I’m gonna eat you!’

She jumped up and spilt her drink. Then she caught his throat in an imperceptibly fast move.

‘Great, another speedster,’ he grumbled. There were way too many of those in this damned city.

She let him go. ‘Dude, you scared me! You can’t go creeping at me like that!’

‘Whatever. It’s fun,’ he grinned mischievously.

‘Maybe a little, yeah. Schway costume, by the way. I love it.’ Nora grinned too. She was painted like a skeleton. ‘My name’s Nora.’

‘Mick,’ he said. He was already interested in the Flash and his wife; he moved to walk away.

‘Wait, you’re Mick Rory? The Mick Rory? Heatwave?’

He paused. Took a sip of his beer. ‘Yeah, that’s me.’

‘Nice to meet you, but, uh, I need to talk to Cisco and Ralph over there.’

‘I don’t care. I like sleeping in coffins and drinking blood!’ he shouted before he shuffled off to terrify more people. Halloween was great.



Sara pinned her against the wall.

Ava reached for her neck and cheeks and tugged her closer. Their lips were a breath apart. Sara was the one to close the distance.

Sara’s breath smelt slightly of alcohol. Ava’s did too, probably. She didn’t care. Kissing Sara in a STAR Labs corridor was the best thing that could happen to her all night.

She mostly hated this kind of parties. Less so this particular one.

Sara’s hand slid down her body. Blame the drinks, but there was electricity.

Ava pulled away. Breathless, she whispered, ‘Want to try and find an empty room?’

Sara looked at her with lust and love in her eyes. ‘Yes, please.’



‘Look look look look,’ Thea punched Felicity in her arm repeatedly. She was already pulling her mobile out. Where did her costume hide it was a mystery.

Caitlin snickered. ‘Oh my god.’

‘Yeah, this detinifely—definitely—won’t end well…’

Thea glanced at Felicity but didn’t stop filming. ‘Are you alright?’

‘Yeah. I’m perfectly alright, thank you, I just had a liiiittle bit too much of that punch,’ she laughed.

Caitlin leant into Thea. ‘Who’s the guy next to Cisco, anyway?’

Felicity answered instead of her. She was even chattier than usually when she alcohol in her system. ‘He’s from the Time Bureau; I think he’s dating John Constantine? I don’t know how, though.’

‘Ladies. What’s going on?’

They all jumped in surprise. Felicity put a hand on her chest and breathed heavily before she could calm herself down. It was Mick. ‘Jesus, you freaked me out. Don’t do that.’

Thea, unperturbed, explained the situation. ‘Cisco and the Time Bureau guy are trying to do the floss. They suck at it. It’s hilarious.’ She was uploading the videos to her Instagram story, Felicity noticed.

‘Huh. Funny,’ he snorted, and before the women knew it, Dracula was holding a mobile as well.

Thea turned round, still filming, and captured him as well.

Then Gary’s legs wobbled and he ended up on the floor.



Sara heard at least two wolf-whistles when Ava and she reentered the room.

‘Someone’s had sex,’ someone noted, possibly Jax or Rene. She was too drunk on Ava to care.

‘Yup, definitely sex hair,’ Thea confirmed. This time she could see her, smirking at the two of them.

Sara rolled her eyes at the crowd. ‘Oh, shut up.’



‘One, two, three, down!’

Nate, Nora Darhk, and Ralph knocked back the third shot of tequila, that was definitely smuggled here behind the organisers’ back. Cisco and Roy were cheering for them, whooping and clapping.

Ralph smashed his shot glass onto the table first, then Nate.

‘Another!’ shouted Ralph. Cisco poured.

(Who cared this was a bad idea.)



‘PUT SOME SPOOKY MUSIC ON!’ Wally shouted from atop a table.

Barry, being the closest to the computers, responded with a ‘Sure, man, great idea!’

Whitney Houston started to play. Barry started tapping the screens furiously. ‘No, no, no, not what I wanted! Damn Cisco’s drink!’

It stopped. Then, Marilyn Manson echoed through the entire STAR Labs complex.

Wally pulled Patrick, his ghost boyfriend (?), onto the table. He out his hands up in excitement. ‘THAT’S THE SPIRIT!’



‘This is the best Halloween party ever!’ Felicity exclaimed. The middle of the room has become an impromptu dancefloor: bodies moved to the beats of a Hollywood Undead song, mashed against each other, cheered, snogged. Felicity was dancing with Caitlin, Dinah, and Iris.

Next to them were Sara and Ava, minding nothing but each other, not even the music at times.

‘I’m glad we did this,’ Dinah said, a smile on her face that hasn’t appeared in quite a while. ‘It’s nice to just have fun for once!’

Iris nudged Felicity. ‘And get drunk with all our friends!’

‘That too!’ she yelled. She squinted at something, or someone, a few metres away. ‘Oliver, baby, come here! Barry, you too! Dance with us!’

Chapter Text



ZariIsTheBest: who’s sober enough to get me out of this ridiculous costume

gayforray: not me

gayforray: I cant eben get mysefl out of my cosrimw

gayforray: costumr

gayforray: costume

ZariIsTheBest: you’re cute as a moth drunk on fermented flower juice

gayforray: shut upp

rayofsunshine: Well, that was fun.

Lancelot: It was

Lancelot: My bed is like water

Lancelot: I don’t like this

gayforray: the floot is water

gayforray: lamp baby hold me

MissTimeBureau: God, you’re all ridiculous.

notbarryallen: that’s the turest thing someones ever saidx

Lancelot: Guys turn on autocorrect this is a pain to read

gayforray: why

gayforray: no rayy don’t take mr cell

ZariIsTheBest: “mr cell” 😂

gayforray: There, all set. You can thank me later.

Lancelot: Thanks Ray

gayforray: you didn’t turn on capitals right baby

gayforray: no all good

gayforray: seriously get me out of this thing before I puke on it

Trenchcoat: You’re all lightweights

AgentGeek: John I’m sorry you have to put up with me

Trenchcoat: You’re the biggest lightweight here, Gaz, but it’s alright, we’ve all been young once

Lancelot: He throw up again

Trenchcoat: Yeah

AgentGeek: God it’s gross

grunt: shoudln’t have drank so much then time pig

rayofsunshine: *drunk

grunt: [image attached: 20181031_223451.jpeg]

Lancelot: Is that Gary?

gayforray: and Cisco

notbarryallen: doign the floss and failing and fallinh 😂

grunt: yeah

MissTimeBureau: I hope this doesn’t get to our personnel.

AgentGeek: I’m so sorry

ZariIsTheBest: it’s okay, pal, you were having fun

rayofsunshine: Did you get out of your costume?

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: sadbeebo.jpeg]

Lancelot: Can’t Nora help you

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: grumpydemon.jpeg]

gayforray: guess that’s a no lol

gayforray: I feel like swimming

gayforray: like I’m swimming

MiniDarhk: same

MiniDarhk: my fcuking stomach fucking hutrs

notbarryallen: I’m hungry

Lancelot: How can you be hungry you ate all the food

notbarryallen: spdeestre metabolisn

Lancelot: Use autocorrect Wally

rayofsunshine: Use punctuation, Sara.

Lancelot: Give me a break

ZariIsTheBest: guess I’ll just sleep in this then

ZariIsTheBest: on the sofa

MiniDarhk: do that

gayforray: ray

rayofsunshine: I’m lying right next to you.

gayforray: who cares

gayforray: cuddle me

gayforray: I love you ray

rayofsunshine: I love you too, Nate, but you should get some rest.

notbarryallen: I’m stil hungry

grunt: go adn get food

notbarryallen: the alcohol is wearing of

notbarryallen: honestyl this was the best hakkoween party ever

Lancelot: Autocorrect, West

rayofsunshine: Sara’s irritable today.

Lancelot: Good observation skills Sherlock

MissTimeBureau: Sometimes she is that way when she drinks.

Lancelot: And when I have my period

gayforray: remind me who won the best couple costume again

rayofsunshine: Barry and Iris.

gayforray: we should’ve won

notbarryallen: I think so too

ZariIsTheBest: yours was brilliant, though, Wally

notbarryallen: thanks I know

notbarryallen: that was my intention

gayforray: you look way too familiar to that guy who played the guy you dressed up as

ZariIsTheBest: very eloquent

gayforray: shut up I’m swimming in the sea

AgentGeek: It’s true

Lancelot: Why didn’t you tell us you had a boyfriend Wally

notbarryallen: surprise

ZariIsTheBest: he wanted to be mysterious

Lancelot: Simon and Bram were a cool costume idea

gayforray: you were cute

notbarryallen: my. intetnion.

MiniDarhk: stop taljing the phone sound is too lpud

rayofsunshine: Turn it off then, Nora.

MiniDarhk: hoe are you not diyng

MiniDarhk: how

Trenchcoat: I wouldn’t have pegged you for a lightweight too, Darhk

MiniDarhk: think I had ,any ppportuinities to drink wih mallus

ZariIsTheBest: leave her alone, John

gayforray: you’re cute too

ZariIsTheBest: and you have no brain to mouth filter

gayforray: I have nothing to be ashamed of

gayforray: ray’s being an octopus again it’s really nice

gayforray: really really nice

Trenchcoat: Things are getting hard in there, eh?

ZariIsTheBest: Constantine… smh

gayforray: yeah yeah they are

gayforray: do something about it ray ;)

rayofsunshine: That’s it, I’m taking his phone away.

Lancelot: Have fun guys

notbarryallen: good night

notbarryallen: I made spaghetti who wants some

ZariIsTheBest: give me some spaghetti

ZariIsTheBest: I’m in heaven

ZariIsTheBest: if I forget about the stupid costume for a while

grunt: I want spagetti too

notbarryallen: say please, mick

grunt: she didn’t have to

notbarryallen: she’s generally nicer than you

grunt: screw you then, I can get my onw spaghetti

notbarryallen: fine by me

notbarryallen: who wants to see videos

ZariIsTheBest: please

notbarryallen: [video attached: girlsgang.mp4]

ZariIsTheBest: who knew Caitlin and Felicity could party like this

Lancelot: I did

MissTimeBureau: Right now I’m praying they don’t find out we busted Oliver Queen out of level two for a few hours…

Lancelot: Don’t be so uptight, Aves, nothing will happen

grunt: amd if it will it’s gonna be fun

MissTimeBureau: I think you and I have a different idea of what’s fun.

grunt: I like fire, booze and kicking ass

notbarryallen: and pretending to be a vampire

notbarryallen: [video attached: draculamick.mp4]

ZariIsTheBest: I saw that one 😂

ZariIsTheBest: and I got spaghetti grease all over my screen

notbarryallen: rip

ZariIsTheBest: since it’s there anyway

ZariIsTheBest: [video attached: reneandcurtis.mp4]

Lancelot: Wait, what

notbarryallen: might surprise you but I did see that coming at pride

ZariIsTheBest: I knew the Rene kid was bi but still

Trenchcoat: The power of alcohol

notbarryallen: don’t worry you weren’t spared anything

notbarryallen: [video attached: johnandgary_beerpong.mp4]

AgentGeek: Did that happen

Lancelot: Yeah, I think I remember Ralph challenging you to a round

ZariIsTheBest: wasn’t it Cisco?

Lancelot: No, definitely rubber guy

Lancelot: My legs kinda feel like rubber right now but I need to pee

Lancelot: Send more videos

notbarryallen: yes captain

Lancelot: I hate how you’re already sober

notbarryallen: 🤷🏾‍♂️ I’m a lucky guy

ZariIsTheBest: yes you are 😄

ZariIsTheBest: [video attached: wallysbf.mp4]

notbarryallen: nooo

ZariIsTheBest: Sara’s orders

MissTimeBureau: Nothing’s better than drunk dancing with your SO at a Halloween party.

Trenchcoat: I beg to differ

notbarryallen: he’s not my so

notbarryallen: not yet

ZariIsTheBest: how did you meet?

notbarryallen: through Cisco

Lancelot: Aww

notbarryallen: [video attached: avalancedance.mp4]

ZariIsTheBest: clever title

notbarryallen: payback

ZariIsTheBest: is it just the three of us now

Lancelot: Suckers passed out

Lancelot: Though I’m close

Lancelot: I have one too

Lancelot: [video attached: zariandnoraapplebobbing.mp4]


ZariIsTheBest: WHY

Trenchcoat: Is Sharpie tipsy

Lancelot: Pretty much, why

Trenchcoat: Walked into the kitchen and didn’t insult me once

ZariIsTheBest: progress

Trenchcoat: I just went to get Gary some water

Lancelot: Progress ;)

notbarryallen: we haven’t left cc have we

Lancelot: I’m not in a condition to fly the ship any time soon so no

ZariIsTheBest: how drunk were you that you don’t remember

notbarryallen: ?

notbarryallen: he asked me to spend the night ;)

notbarryallen: just left star labs

Lancelot: To quote myself, have fun

notbarryallen: thanks

notbarryallen: I’m out

ZariIsTheBest: @grunt @Trenchcoat @MissTimeBureau talk to us

AgentGeek: Why can’t I talk to you

ZariIsTheBest: you just need to get better, Gary

Trenchcoat: Couldn’t agree more

Lancelot: You guys have more videos

ZariIsTheBest: you think John knows how to make one

Trenchcoat: Ye of little faith

Trenchcoat: But you’re actually right

Lancelot: Some magician you are

Trenchcoat: I’m not talking to you anymore

ZariIsTheBest: I think I should bring Nora a bucket and call it a night too

grunt: what time is it

ZariIsTheBest: after two

grunt: ok

Lancelot: Ava just came back from the shower

Lancelot: Good night

Trenchcoat: have fun

Lancelot: Don’t quote me

ZariIsTheBest: it’s not like you have exclusive rights to that phrase…

Lancelot: Isn’t it

Chapter Text

Knuckles hit the wooden door.

There was a malfunction sign on the doorbell. (Of course there was. When was something in this building ever fixed?) Sara no longer had a key.

This was more difficult than Sara thought. She held her breath.

Ava squeezed her other hand. Her touch was grounding, her hand warm. Sara glanced at her—gorgeous, charming, brilliant. She’d said she was more nervous than Sara, earlier at home, but Sara knew her dad will love her.

Her dad. Sara heard shuffling on the other side of that door.

‘Just a sec!’ Quentin shouted.

‘Sara, relax, he’s your dad. He’ll be happy to see you,’ Ava said, reacting to the slight tremor in her hand. She leant into her and whispered, ‘and he can’t get suspicious. You told me to remind you, in case you decided to pull something stupid.’

‘I didn’t say anything about the stupid part.’

‘But I did,’ Ava gave her a half-smile. ‘Rules of time travel and all that.’

The door opened. Quentin stood there, wearing a checkered shirt, holding a plastic pumpkin half-full with sweets. It was Halloween. He thought they were trick-or-treaters.

‘Sara?’ there was a look of surprise across his face.

She tried not to shake. ‘Hey, Dad! Happy Halloween!’

He moved to embrace her. Ava let go of her hand. ‘Hey, baby, it’s so good to see you. I didn’t think you were coming,’ he said. She wasn’t. She was from the future. A future where he—

‘Well, I’m here.’ She pulled away, a little reluctantly. Then she turned to Ava. ‘Dad, this Ava Sharpe, my girlfriend. Hope you don’t mind…?’

Ava shook his hand. The sweets in his pumpkin—the one they’ve had since Laurel and Sara were little—rattled. ‘It’s nice to meet you, sir.’

‘Please, it’s Quentin,’ he said with a genuine smile. ‘Come in! I wasn’t expecting anyone but those kids greedy for candy, so forgive me for the mess. I think I have some leftover pizza too, it’s nothing fancy…’

They stepped inside the flat. Sara shut the door. ‘Cold pizza is great, Dad.’

Chapter Text



ZariIsTheBest: why exactly are Ray and Nate parading around the ship with shower caps

gayforray: coconut oil

MiniDarhk: say what now

rayofsunshine: It helps keep our hair nice and shiny.

MissTimeBureau: I’ve tried it too, thanks for the tip.

gayforray: I didn’t actually give you a tip but I’m glad you find it useful 😉

notbarryallen: since when do you use the wink emoji

gayforray: excuse

notbarryallen: ;)

gayforray: 👉👉

ZariIsTheBest: hey, Wally, you didn’t even say hi to us

ZariIsTheBest: how was spending two nights with your bf 👀

notbarryallen: and now you’re nosy

ZariIsTheBest: what do you mean

gayforray: when it doesn’t concern you

ZariIsTheBest: shut up, both of you

notbarryallen: it was great

notbarryallen: beyond great

gayforray: how many rounds

notbarryallen: fuck off

MiniDarhk: yes you did

notbarryallen: yes we did

notbarryallen: but also went out and shit okay

Lancelot: I’m glad you’re having fun, Wally

ZariIsTheBest: shame you’ve been spending less time here now though

notbarryallen: you don’t let me play games with you anyway

ZariIsTheBest: that’s irrelevant

rayofsunshine: And how was your date, Sara?

Lancelot: The restaurant was so posh, I wanted to die

MissTimeBureau: Though it was nothing compared to the first date awkwardness.

Lancelot: Yeah, it was worse

Lancelot: But I loved it

Lancelot: I seriously had a foodgasm

MissTimeBureau: Your face was so adorable

Lancelot: You want to embarrass me in front of everyone don’t you

gayforray: we’re way past embarrassment, Sara

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, no one here has any personal boundaries

MissTimeBureau: I’ve noticed.

gayforray: is that such a bad thing though

Trenchcoat: It is sometimes

AgentGeek: I love you guys

MiniDarhk: you’re just being weird now

Lancelot: Gary’s always weird

gayforray: can confirm

ZariIsTheBest: right, you work with him now

gayforray: it’s actually hilarious during briefings

Lancelot: What exactly do you do there?

gayforray: well, mostly charm people into giving us what we want and doing what we want

notbarryallen: sounds like a cool job

gayforray: what’s to say, I’m a smooth and charming guy

ZariIsTheBest: yet it took you 2 years to realize you had feelings for Ray

notbarryallen: and do something about it

gayforray: I’m kidding I do paperwork and it’s boring af

gayforray: that was mutual

rayofsunshine: Very much so.

gayforray: he’ll never say that but we were idiots

rayofsunshine: I rarely say that, but I was indeed a colossal idiot.

Lancelot: Wow

ZariIsTheBest: Gary and John on the other hand

Trenchcoat: What about us

Lancelot: Fuck first talk later

gayforray: John fucks everyone, it’s the relationship that came out of it that’s surprising

Trenchcoat: Believe me, we’re on the same page here

ZariIsTheBest: really suave, John

AgentGeek: I mean, same

AgentGeek: He’s just so awesome, I still can’t believe

AgentGeek: I love him so much

MiniDarhk: oh wow

notbarryallen: sweet lol

Lancelot: So how long have you and Mr Gorgeous Blond been seeing each other, anyway

gayforray: 😂

notbarryallen: about 2 months

gayforray: what 😮

ZariIsTheBest: seriously

MiniDarhk: has the ily thing happened yet

notbarryallen: not saying ;)

MissTimeBureau: So that’s a yes, then.

notbarryallen: how do you always know everything

Lancelot: We’re the legends

ZariIsTheBest: we’re good at knowing things

notbarryallen: ok true

notbarryallen: I’m actually surprised you haven’t found out

MissTimeBureau: Who says we haven’t?

Lancelot: Ava 👀

gayforray: since I started working at the bureau I found out about a lot of things

gayforray: they have files on all of us

ZariIsTheBest: so Wally’s bf is file material

notbarryallen: whoa, spoilers

AgentGeek: Don’t you wanna know?

notbarryallen: uhh no one should

gayforray: Barry and Iris met their daughter before she was even born

rayofsunshine: That’s a little different?

notbarryallen: don’t tell me anything aight guys

rayofsunshine: Will Nate and I stay together?

gayforray: now I get you, Wally

rayofsunshine: What, it’s a legitimate question.

rayofsunshine: We’re time travellers, and we’ve had bad luck in relationships before.

gayforray: babe, as much as I’d love to be with you forever, because you’re just amazing and beautiful and I love you, I don’t actually want to know what happens

gayforray: timeline integrity and all that

rayofsunshine: No, I perfectly get it. I’m, I’m sorry. I love you too.

gayforray: <3

ZariIsTheBest: wow this kinda got sad

MissTimeBureau: I’m sorry I brought this up.

Lancelot: You’re finally interacting with us properly ;)

MissTimeBureau: I’m a little bored.

Lancelot: PM me ;)

MiniDarhk: that was a little too many winky emojis

Lancelot: Excuse me, two aren’t that many

ZariIsTheBest: depends on the circumstances

MiniDarhk: they are too many right now

ZariIsTheBest: ;)

MiniDarhk: screw you, z

gayforray: wait, I’m confused

gayforray: you’re still together, right

Trenchcoat: Were they ever really together

notbarryallen: look who else is engaging in gossip today

MiniDarhk: yes we’re together

ZariIsTheBest: very much so

Lancelot: Playful teasing, I get it ;)

MiniDarhk: stop now

Trenchcoat: There’s so much relationship drama today

notbarryallen: bitch what are you calling drama

Trenchcoat: This

AgentGeek: No drama between us

Trenchcoat: Except in bed

Lancelot: Ohh like drama drama

gayforray: I know we already know way too much about their sex life

gayforray: but I’d still call it oversharing

ZariIsTheBest: is reading this really worse than seeing you an Ray in the kitchen

rayofsunshine: It’s been a week but I’m still embarrassed…

gayforray: we are over embarrassment, Ray

Trenchcoat: Does that mean a public show, eh?

gayforray: I feel like I don’t say this enough

gayforray: go to hell, Constantine

Trenchcoat: Been there, done that

ZariIsTheBest: don’t you all feel a little tired today? no? just me?

notbarryallen: yeah it’s super weird right

gayforray: you at least have a reason to be tired ;)

AgentGeek: It must be the party

MiniDarhk: you’re not still hungover, are you

AgentGeek: My tummy is weird

Lancelot: When you bring an abstainer into a party group…

rayofsunshine: Where is Mick, anyway?

ZariIsTheBest: holing up in his room?

notbarryallen: alright he’s working in the evening so I’m coming back

rayofsunshine: Where does he work?

ZariIsTheBest: I love how we all know who he’s talking about without mentioning the name

notbarryallen: believe it or not, he works at jitters

MiniDarhk: is there no other café in central city

gayforray: accurate

notbarryallen: no lol there’s a starbucks and shit

AgentGeek: Did you ever think that “lol” kinda looks like a TIE fighter when written in lowercase

MiniDarhk: what’s a tie fighter

gayforray: literally no one thinks that, Gary

rayofsunshine: But it actually does?

MiniDarhk: what’s a tie fighter?

notbarryallen: why does that question mark seem aggressive

MiniDarhk: cause it is

AgentGeek: It’s from Star Wars!

MiniDarhk: right, of course

ZariIsTheBest: I don’t blame you for thinking it has something to do with ties

ZariIsTheBest: I did too before I met these nerds

gayforray: now I have an image of a robot that fights living ties in my head, thanks

Trenchcoat: Like those deathly rags from doctor who

gayforray: oh you’re right

rayofsunshine: Have you noticed Sara is now quiet too?

AgentGeek: We all know what that means 👀

ZariIsTheBest: don’t try to be us, Gary, it doesn’t work

ZariIsTheBest: be the nerd we all know

notbarryallen: I come aboard and the first thing I see is

notbarryallen: [image attached: beautyprinces.jpeg]

rayofsunshine: We’re exfoliating!

MiniDarhk: facial mask, huh

gayforray: it’s good for the complexion

notbarryallen: like, I’m not judging you, it’s just funny

gayforray: [image attached: tropical.jpeg]

gayforray: look at Wally’s shirt, that’s also funny

ZariIsTheBest: Hawaiian shirt in November?

notbarryallen: it’s… not mine

Lancelot: Obviously

Lancelot: Can’t be Waverider made

notbarryallen: ?

Lancelot: No offence, but it’s ugly

notbarryallen: well thanks, mom

notbarryallen: patrick is a traveler and a free soul like me

ZariIsTheBest: 🌴

Chapter Text



AgentGeek: [image attached: plantgoo.jpeg]

gayforray: when did you even manage to take that selfie

ZariIsTheBest: when you weren’t looking, obviously

Lancelot: You never told me, what exactly happened?

gayforray: Gary gave me a plant

notbarryallen: ?

notbarryallen: so you’ve got a new bro now

ZariIsTheBest: and it’s Gary?

gayforray: told you working with him is hilarious

AgentGeek: Yeah it is

gayforray: @MissTimeBureau is Taco Monday a real thing, like, really

MissTimeBureau: Don’t know who started the tradition but yeah, it is, why?

gayforray: why, seriously?

gayforray: it’s ridiculous

AgentGeek: I love you

gayforray: sure you do, buddy

gayforray: what were you up to, anyway? Sara wanted to tell me something and then ran off

Lancelot: Sorry

rayofsunshine: We went to 1977 London and I got a tattoo!

gayforray: WHAT

grunt: he’s a punk now

ZariIsTheBest: it’s a corgi with a Mohawk

gayforray: WHAT

rayofsunshine: As Mick said, I’m a punk now! I joined a band and stole a royal corgi!

grunt: I’m proud of you haircut

gayforray: not to repeat myself but what

MiniDarhk: wait it’s gonna get better

MiniDarhk: there was this trickster girl and john did a thing and she lo

MiniDarhk: sorry that was zari

ZariIsTheBest: Nora, don’t

Trenchcoat: Yeah, I agree, it’s better if he sees for himself

AgentGeek: Well, we went to the Pleistocene and magically solved a fugitive case

MissTimeBureau: “Magically solved”? I didn’t read about any of that in your report.

AgentGeek: Oops

notbarryallen: and then you almost got eaten by a plant

gayforray: it was a carnivorous plant

gayforray: on legs

rayofsunshine: That sounds like something straight out of Doctor Who.

gayforray: who else is never getting over the pting thing

AgentGeek: It was cute

ZariIsTheBest: cute like the unicorn we sent to hell

AgentGeek: This one wouldn’t eat us

gayforray: no, just the universe around us

Lancelot: Since when do plants have legs

gayforray: ask Gary, he brought it from god knows where

AgentGeek: I told you I was sorry, time bro

gayforray: okay, don’t really call me that

AgentGeek: But, we are time bros!

gayforray: not here

MiniDarhk: ray’s like your time husband so why not

AgentGeek: Aww he’s blushing

rayofsunshine: I am blushing too, just so you’d known.

ZariIsTheBest: I do know

ZariIsTheBest: I still think your hair looks ridiculous like this, I’m not used to it

rayofsunshine: Nate, tell her my hair’s awesome.

gayforray: can’t if I haven’t actually seen it

rayofsunshine: [image attached: selfie_28.jpeg]

notbarryallen: this is your 28th selfie

rayofsunshine: Yes.

gayforray: I have actually seen it

gayforray: bed hair

gayforray: love it ;)

rayofsunshine: It’s my punk hair.

Lancelot: Way to go, Rayge

gayforray: 👀

grunt: his new nickname

grunt: he earned it

gayforray: did you now 🙃

rayofsunshine: When are you coming back from work?

gayforray: after I clean up this mess

rayofsunshine: Well then, after you clean up that mess, I’ll show you who Rayge is.

gayforray: 😊😜😏

gayforray: @AgentGeek finish that third taco and come to help me, it was your mess after all

AgentGeek: Uh, right away, Nate

Trenchcoat: Did I not teach you not to mess around with suspicious plants, love

AgentGeek: Yeah…

AgentGeek: How was London? Must’ve been exciting for you

Trenchcoat: Not really, I couldn’t even kick my old man in the bollocks

Lancelot: Ah, so you’ve experienced the ball kick paradox

Trenchcoat: That’s really a thing, innit

rayofsunshine: Yeah.

Trenchcoat: Bloody hell

AgentGeek: Wait, you met your dad?

ZariIsTheBest: and his mom

AgentGeek: Omg, John, that’s great! What did you say?

Trenchcoat: It was the opposite of great, love

AgentGeek: Oh

AgentGeek: Sorry?

Trenchcoat: It’s been one hell of a day, alright, so just come here or something

ZariIsTheBest: yeah I think he needs that

Trenchcoat: You said you weren’t gonna talk about it

ZariIsTheBest: you’re talking about it

AgentGeek: I have to clean this mess first

gayforray: now you understand my situation

MiniDarhk: things aren’t looking very bright for you two

gayforray: yeah thanks for the reminder

MissTimeBureau: You know, we do employ cleaners.

AgentGeek: So you’d… let this slide, boss

MissTimeBureau: Wouldn’t be exactly fair when Sara and I are out having drinks.

gayforray: she’s a bad influence on you ;)

MissTimeBureau: Well, maybe we all need a bit of that sometimes.

Lancelot: Real thanks, Nate

rayofsunshine: Okay, but before you come on board… there’s something Nora and probably Sara wanted to tell you.

gayforray: let me guess, something’s broken

MiniDarhk: more like there’s a person here

gayforray: so that’s the elephant everyone seems to be avoiding this entire time, great

Lancelot: Yeah, well, it’s not what it looks like?

MiniDarhk: there’s a trickster chick who looks like amaya

MiniDarhk: it’s john’s fault

grunt: I like her

gayforray: WHAT

notbarryallen: nate’s catchphrase of the day

Trenchcoat: You can’t have a bloody shifter walking round changing faces, that’s worse than a dragon, I had to do it

ZariIsTheBest: look, we get it, but you could’ve let her shift into her original face, this must be really hard for Nate

gayforray: and you decided not to tell me

gayforray: I think I need a moment to think

Lancelot: You know, this is why I didn’t wanna tell him

rayofsunshine: But he has the right to know, Sara. Besides, he’s dating me now, so it shouldn’t be that hard, right?

notbarryallen: oh you have no idea

animalgirl: Hi, guys.

Trenchcoat: Speak of the devil

animalgirl: What’s that about?

ZariIsTheBest: never mind him, how are you?

animalgirl: I have something to tell you.

animalgirl: I’m getting married tomorrow.

gayforray: oh, wow, that’s

gayforray: congrats, Amaya!

animalgirl: Thank you, Nathaniel. I thought you should know.

ZariIsTheBest: you’re going into it pretty fast

animalgirl: What’s to say, it’s like he’s my spirit animal.

rayofsunshine: I’m happy for you!

Lancelot: Yeah, go get it, girl

ZariIsTheBest: …I miss you

animalgirl: I miss you too, guys, and all the adventures we’ve had.

animalgirl: I haven’t got an opportunity to chat with you for a while, what’s going on?

notbarryallen: nothing much, we’re still catching the magical fuckers

ZariIsTheBest: Wally’s got a boyfriend and apparently it’s been two months

ZariIsTheBest: my totem necklace was molten but Ray put it in a smart watch (guess I’m wearing that too now) together with this messaging app and some other stuff

MiniDarhk: scroll up

ZariIsTheBest: Nora 😒

MiniDarhk: what

ZariIsTheBest: you’re enjoying this

MiniDarhk: yes

ZariIsTheBest: Slytherin

MiniDarhk: you’re a slytherin too

ZariIsTheBest: so

MiniDarhk: wanna get some pizza

ZariIsTheBest: sure

rayofsunshine: Slytherins aren’t evil! You shouldn’t be using it as an insult.

Lancelot: Ray, that wasn’t really an insult

rayofsunshine: Oh, I get it.

Lancelot: Yeah

animalgirl: I’m glad you’re all happy.

animalgirl: But please excuse my turn of phrase right now and let me ask, what the fuck?

grunt: I knew you had balls

ZariIsTheBest: you mean..?

animalgirl: Yes.

grunt: it’s the english weasel’s fault

animalgirl: How can someone look like me?

Trenchcoat: Shapeshifters, love

rayofsunshine: She saw a picture of us in a 1977 newspaper and turned into you so we wouldn’t send her to hell.

ZariIsTheBest: and it totally worked

ZariIsTheBest: I’m sorry, Amaya

animalgirl: It is something of a shock, but I think I understand. It must be difficult for Nathaniel, though.

grunt: you should hear her talk

grunt: nothing like you

animalgirl: I don’t know if that’s better or worse.

Lancelot: I thought you didn’t like Brits, Mick 👀

grunt: I don’t

rayofsunshine: But she’s British.

animalgirl: Is she now?

ZariIsTheBest: yeah

animalgirl: I guess she really isn’t me then.

gayforray: ugh you’re right

gayforray: I hate when you’re right

gayforray: but I’m still a bit shaken

Lancelot: At least you’re talking to us

gayforray: I still need to process all this but I’m coming on the ship

rayofsunshine: <3

ZariIsTheBest: don’t add Charlie to the chat, Ray

rayofsunshine: How did you know what I was going to ask about?

ZariIsTheBest: psychic

ZariIsTheBest: I know you want to give her a chance and so do I, but we can’t trust her just yet

rayofsunshine: Got it.

rayofsunshine: But do I have a yes for the future?

Lancelot: Only if she stays, which I’m not saying is happening

Trenchcoat: That’s not a good idea

rayofsunshine: Sounds like you’re prejudiced against magical creatures, John.

Trenchcoat: You can call it that but I’m just cautious, mate

animalgirl: Anyway, it’s late here, so I should go to sleep. It’s my wedding day tomorrow, after all.

ZariIsTheBest: good night, Amaya <3

rayofsunshine: Send us a picture, will you?

animalgirl: Sure.

Lancelot: Enjoy the best day of your life, Amaya!

grunt: and get real drunk

animalgirl: That won’t happen, but thanks anyway :)

gayforray: haven’t seen that smiley in a while

notbarryallen: :) :) :) :) :) :)

gayforray: stop

notbarryallen: 8=====D

gayforray: why

notbarryallen: cause

gayforray: I hate you

notbarryallen: you love me, I’m your time bro

AgentGeek: I’m his time bro!

rayofsunshine: And I’m his time husband.

gayforray: I love you but shut up now or I’ll have pizza with Z and Nora instead

notbarryallen: you wouldn’t

ZariIsTheBest: sorry but John’s here already

gayforray: then we’ll fabricate more pizza

rayofsunshine: I’ll make pizza for you.

gayforray: you’re forgiven and I’m looking forward to it, Taco Monday didn’t exactly grow on me

MiniDarhk: see? time husbands

Chapter Text



grunt: who the fuck played that song

ZariIsTheBest: that was fast

gayforray: what song? what’s going on?

grunt: hey mickey

grunt: in my room

gayforray: oH

Trenchcoat: That’s for stealing the sandwiches I left in the fridge

grunt: should’ve known it was you

Trenchcoat: Serves you right, potato head

grunt: you ain’t calling me potato head, english rat

Trenchcoat: Is that so? I don’t see you stopping me

grunt: how do you like it now

gayforray: I can hear the song

notbarryallen: lol this is old

notbarryallen: who’s johnny, who’s johnny, oh no no no

Lancelot: Did you just convince Gideon to blast the song across the whole ship, Mick

Trenchcoat: Hilarious

grunt: you started it

Trenchcoat: Shouldn’t have stolen my sandwiches then

notbarryallen: don’t worry be happy

ZariIsTheBest: I’m not in the mood for this right now

MiniDarhk: why

gayforray: Wally, did you play it?

rayofsunshine: Actually, that was me. I don’t like it when they fight.

Lancelot: You make it sound like they’re married

MiniDarhk: 😂

grunt: hate the song

grunt: let’s fire it up

Lancelot: Wow

ZariIsTheBest: this is really loud


Trenchcoat: I can be loud if you want to

Lancelot: Children, calm down

gayforray: Sara casually calling you children is such a mood

Lancelot: I’m tired of their shit sometimes

gayforray: obviously

gayforray: how do you like this song

grunt: not that again

rayofsunshine: Ah, Waterloo.

gayforray: brings back memories

notbarryallen: yesss 80s music

rayofsunshine: You weren’t even alive in the 80s, Wally.

notbarryallen: so

ZariIsTheBest: funny thing, you say “you children” and then join the song battle too

gayforray: so it’s a real song battle now

Trenchcoat: Challenge accepted

grunt: joke’s on you, I love johnny rotten

grunt: and I’d like to see this johnny rot too

notbarryallen: sick burn

notbarryallen: pun intended

Trenchcoat: As much as I’d love to see anarchy in the UK again, it actually wasn’t me

ZariIsTheBest: I don’t know this song

Trenchcoat: It’s only the band of my youth

gayforray: sex pistols?

Trenchcoat: The best band in the whole bloody world

grunt: who broke up after a year

Trenchcoat: Your point, muppet?

rayofsunshine: This song was on Charlie’s mixtape!

ZariIsTheBest: wait

ZariIsTheBest: if it wasn’t either of you, could it be…?

notbarryallen: could Charlie convince gideon to listen to her

gayforray: maybe it’s because, you know

grunt: she looks like amaya

MiniDarhk: duh

Lancelot: I ordered Gideon not to listen to her

ZariIsTheBest: Time for another change

notbarryallen: I thought we only did old songs

ZariIsTheBest: I’m from the 2040s, 2015 is old for me

MiniDarhk: I second that

notbarryallen: is it just me or is this one about us

ZariIsTheBest: I played it for a reason

notbarryallen: I love it

notbarryallen: you will remember meeeee for centurieeeeeees

MiniDarhk: wanna hear a 2036 classic

gayforray: no

grunt: don’t care for that

ZariIsTheBest: are you thinking what I think you’re thinking

MiniDarhk: depends, what do you think I’m thinking

notbarryallen: wild

ZariIsTheBest: did I guess right

MiniDarhk: obviously

rayofsunshine: Is this future music?

grunt: I don’t like it

grunt: there’s nothing better than the good old black sabbath

Trenchcoat: I’d argue about that

gayforray: you’d argue just about anything

Lancelot: No arguing, that’s an order

grunt: whatever, I’m gonna grab a beer

Trenchcoat: If someone changes the song

Lancelot: I only blocked Charlie’s access, you can change it yourself

notbarryallen: mic drop

ZariIsTheBest: not kpop again

notbarryallen: yes kpop

gayforray: I thought you said no new songs

notbarryallen: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

gayforray: how do you do that

notbarryallen: do what

gayforray: the shrug emoji

notbarryallen: wouldn’t you like to know

gayforray: that’s literally what I’m asking

notbarryallen: I google fast

rayofsunshine: Can I play a song too?

MiniDarhk: don’t play the darth vader theme

gayforray: it’s called the imperial march

MiniDarhk: and he played it

grunt: this is awful

rayofsunshine: Come on, Mick, this is Star Wars! It’s a classic!

grunt: metallica’s classic

gayforray: let’s agree both are good

grunt: haircut’s gone soft again

rayofsunshine: No, I haven’t. I have a tattoo now, I’m a badass.

MiniDarhk: don’t use capitals and punctuation then

gayforray: don’t tease his OCD

rayofsunshine: I can do that

rayofsunshine: No, I really can’t. I’m sorry.

gayforray: it’s okay, baby, you’re still badass

rayofsunshine: You think so?

gayforray: sure

MiniDarhk: no you’re a sunshine

Lancelot: A badass sunshine

rayofsunshine: That’s good, I’ll call myself that.

notbarryallen: bro, don’t

rayofsunshine: No, you’re right.

rayofsunshine: But really, am I the first of the team to get an ink?

rayofsunshine: That’s what cool people call tattoos.

MiniDarhk: /gasp/ really

notbarryallen: sara has two

Lancelot: And don’t forget about John

rayofsunshine: I did indeed forget about John.

ZariIsTheBest: did you notice John’s quiet now

grunt: good

rayofsunshine: Sara, do you really have two? I never noticed.

Lancelot: Yeah, wrist and foot

gayforray: Wally also has one

notbarryallen: yup

rayofsunshine: Ah, right.

ZariIsTheBest: Don’t be disappointed, buddy

ZariIsTheBest: [image attached: sadsandwiches.jpeg]

ZariIsTheBest: look who’s finally gotten over the sandwich thing and made a new one

MiniDarhk: when you’re in the kitchen, can you bring me a glass of juice

ZariIsTheBest: mango?

MiniDarhk: obviously

ZariIsTheBest: 👍

MiniDarhk: <3

grunt: don’t put it in the fridge if you don’t want me to eat it

Lancelot: Here’s a suggestion: label your stuff

grunt: what is this, an office

Lancelot: No, but it technically is our workplace

gayforray: not mine

ZariIsTheBest: how many of your puddings has Mick eaten

gayforray: two

notbarryallen: see

gayforray: whatever

notbarryallen: juST lAbEl yOuR sTuFf nATe

gayforray: doN’t uSe ThAt oN mE

gayforray: fuck it’s hard to type like this

notbarryallen: not when you’re a speedster

notbarryallen: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chapter Text



gayforray: good news everyone

gayforray: there’s a cold epidemic at the time bureau and I caught it

MiniDarhk: how is that good news

ZariIsTheBest: sarcasm, Nora

gayforray: 👍

MissTimeBureau: Gary’s gonna be so dead when he comes back to work.

ZariIsTheBest: Ava used a colloquialism, what’s going on

MissTimeBureau: Gary’s going on.

AgentGeek: I’m so sorry, boss

MissTimeBureau: Sorry isn’t gonna fix it.

rayofsunshine: You can try ginger tea with lemons and a warm scarf!

notbarryallen: or pills like a normal person

rayofsunshine: Excuse me, alternative medicine works.

ZariIsTheBest: I’m surprised to hear that from you

rayofsunshine: Just because I’m a scientist doesn’t mean I abhor alternative methods when it comes to treating a cold.

gayforray: give me some of that, Ray-Ray

rayofsunshine: Of course! Do you want honey?

gayforray: aww you called me honey

gayforray: do I want what

rayofsunshine: No, I meant if you want honey in your tea.

MiniDarhk: 😂

gayforray: 😂 okay honey

gayforray: yeah I do

AgentGeek: You sound really tired, Nate

gayforray: thanks, Gary

grunt: if you give me a cold I’ll kill you

notbarryallen: omg fitting

Lancelot: I thought you liked cold ;)

grunt: I like fire

gayforray: you like it hot n’ cold

MiniDarhk: 🔥

notbarryallen: anyone remember the katy perry song

ZariIsTheBest: no more song battles, Wally

grunt: don’t know that song

notbarryallen: listen to it 👌🏾

MiniDarhk: don’t do it out loud

grunt: it’s shit

notbarryallen: shit but classic

ZariIsTheBest: Nate

gayforray: 👀

ZariIsTheBest: maybe you should stay off the ship with your cold

Trenchcoat: Too late, Gary’s here

MiniDarhk: fuck

grunt: hope trenchcoat gets the cold

Trenchcoat: I think you’ll be pleased

grunt: aha

grunt: stay away from me

Trenchcoat: Gladly

Lancelot: Is there anyone who’s not sick

notbarryallen: are you?

Lancelot: Not yet but Aves is and I know it’s coming ughhhh

ZariIsTheBest: I’ve always had a good immunity

MiniDarhk: I’ve never had a cold

MiniDarhk: but don’t wanna start now

notbarryallen: I’m jealous y’all

Trenchcoat: There’s a illness-repelling spell if someone wants to give it a go, but I’m warning ya, it’s bloody disgusting

gayforray: no thanks, I’ll take my chances with this cold

Lancelot: Yeah

MiniDarhk: did you try it

Trenchcoat: Didn’t dare to

ZariIsTheBest: so Gary gave you his cold, huh

Trenchcoat: It’s what generally happens when you have an active sex life, love

ZariIsTheBest: I can imagine that

ZariIsTheBest: still gross

AgentGeek: At least we can be in bed all day and not worry about anything when we both have it

gayforray: I like your spirit

rayofsunshine: We’re not doing that, Nate. I do not want to catch that cold from you.

gayforray: not fair

rayofsunshine: Your tea is ready!

gayforray: <3

gayforray: any chance you have sore throat candy

MissTimeBureau: It’s not very healthy to eat candy for a sore throat, Nate. You should use real medicine.

AgentGeek: Mints help, boss

MissTimeBureau: I know they help, but it’s not healthy.

gayforray: my steel teeth are beyond that

gayforray: I’m portaling on board

notbarryallen: great I’ll hide

ZariIsTheBest: or run to your boyfriend

notbarryallen: I could probably surprise him at work 😄

Lancelot: You should do that if you want to avoid a runny nose

notbarryallen: you’re totally right

gayforray: does he even know you’re a meta?

notbarryallen: yeah

ZariIsTheBest: really?

notbarryallen: we actually met on a case

gayforray: like a superhero case?

notbarryallen: 👀

Lancelot: Is your boyfriend a superhero, Wally

notbarryallen: hey you’re nosy again

MiniDarhk: when you won’t say anything

notbarryallen: excuse me, I don’t kiss and tell

gayforray: you can tell me, we’re bros

AgentGeek: You and I are bros too!

gayforray: you gave me a cold, Gary, I’m starting to reconsider our relationship

AgentGeek: Oh no, please keep being my bro

gayforray: you have John and cute taco girl

AgentGeek: He’s my boyfriend, that’s different. And she doesn’t even remember me

MissTimeBureau: Tell me you don’t talk to the taco delivery girl.

AgentGeek: Uh, I can’t?

gayforray: shh but he told her we’re called time bureau

AgentGeek: You promised not to say that!

Lancelot: What’s going on

gayforray: uh, nothing, captain

gayforray: just Gary revealing top secret information to Mona Lisa without the Lisa

Lancelot: Ahh, cute taco girl

AgentGeek: You know her too?

Lancelot: Never miss Taco Monday with Ava

Lancelot: Or Pizza Friday

Lancelot: Which is why I’m doomed to go through this cold

MissTimeBureau: I’m really sorry, Sara. I told you not to come this time.

Lancelot: We all blame Gary

AgentGeek: Why is everything always on me

ZariIsTheBest: because you’re a clumsy nerd

Trenchcoat: Wanna know what’s on him right now

AgentGeek: John

Trenchcoat: ;)

gayforray: Rayyy

rayofsunshine: No.

gayforray: you can try John’s spell

rayofsunshine: Nate, I’m not having sex with you when you’re sick.

notbarryallen: poor baby

MiniDarhk: sympathies lol

gayforray: thanks

gayforray: you never answered my question

notbarryallen: retired superhero

gayforray: @MissTimeBureau you have files on us and I’m sensing he’s file material

gayforray: can you tell me who he really is cause I don’t know any superhero named Patrick

notbarryallen: spoilers, man, not cool

MissTimeBureau: No, I really can’t tell you.

gayforray: I did try

notbarryallen: you are onto something, nate

gayforray: I’ll win this game one day

gayforray: Ray, can we at least watch a movie

rayofsunshine: That still involves us being in one bed together.

MiniDarhk: it doesn’t when you sit on the floor

rayofsunshine: I don’t want to sit on the floor, Nora.

AgentGeek: Did you all forget it’s Doctor Who night???

ZariIsTheBest: today’s my favorite episode

gayforray: omg, you’re right

Lancelot: Guess you’re sitting on the floor, Ray

rayofsunshine: Well, it seems like I have no other choice but to accept that I’ll have this cold and watch with you guys.

Lancelot: Even better, Ray, take one for the team

notbarryallen: I’m out

notbarryallen: I can watch it later

gayforray: don’t break the party, man

notbarryallen: z and sara’s idea sorry

ZariIsTheBest: enjoy your date

MiniDarhk: I’m calling the dibs on the bed

ZariIsTheBest: you always take the bed

MiniDarhk: sit on my lap if you want, but that’s how it is

ZariIsTheBest: alright then

Trenchcoat: Have a foursome on that bed for all I care, just don’t kick my head again

gayforray: Ray was tickling me the last time

rayofsunshine: Sorry, John.

rayofsunshine: Nate wasn’t paying attention.

gayforray: so you tickled me into paying even less attention, gotcha

ZariIsTheBest: are you not gonna comment on the foursome thing

gayforray: it’s John, what do you want

MiniDarhk: I’d go for it

ZariIsTheBest: what

MiniDarhk: with you and palmer and heywood, I’d go for it

ZariIsTheBest: Nora???

gayforray: /spills tea on bed/

MiniDarhk: why are you all acting like that’s such a shock

grunt: I’d be into that too

Lancelot: Let’s just all sleep together like in Sense8, why not

notbarryallen: and I’ve just left the ship

gayforray: you know sense8?

Trenchcoat: Dunno what that is but I’d join you, never had a tensome before

MissTimeBureau: That’s not even a word.

ZariIsTheBest: that’s the least of your concerns, okay

ZariIsTheBest: I’m officially done with you

Chapter Text



rayofsunshine: John’s magical cold cure really paid off, I got to do actual magic! And save children!

gayforray: I’m conflicted between saying fuck off and fuck me

notbarryallen: still down with flu?

gayforray: yeah

gayforray: I can’t even breathe properly and you go on a cool 90s adventure, not cool

notbarryallen: I didn’t either

gayforray: cause you’re with your boyfriends

gayforray: I meant boyfriend, singular

Lancelot: Yeah I was gonna send an eyes emoji

gayforray: @AgentGeek why us

AgentGeek: Why us what

ZariIsTheBest: have to stay in sick

Trenchcoat: Are you actually together

AgentGeek: Uh, yeah, in my apartment

gayforray: don’t ask

Lancelot: Someone’s very alive for being nearly dead

MiniDarhk: applaud me

ZariIsTheBest: 👏💜

MiniDarhk: why purple heart

ZariIsTheBest: it’s a witch color?

ZariIsTheBest: no?

MiniDarhk: okay I do love purple

Trenchcoat: I love fags and alcohol

Trenchcoat: Sara, have mercy on me

ZariIsTheBest: snag some off Mick

grunt: I’m not giving trenchcoat my alcohol

ZariIsTheBest: or you can just ask Charlie

gayforray: guys what’s going on with her???

ZariIsTheBest: long story short, Mick let her go and she didn’t run

gayforray: so she’s on board? with you?

MiniDarhk: you jealous

rayofsunshine: If anyone, I should be jealous.

rayofsunshine: But I’m not, because I like to give everyone a second chance, and I think she can really help us with our magical fugitives.

Lancelot: Just say magical fuckers

gayforray: remember when he called them mythteries

Lancelot: That’s unforgettable

notbarryallen: does anyone else see a similarity between nora and charlie

MiniDarhk: I’m a witch, sure, compare me to her

rayofsunshine: I can see some similarities, actually.

grunt: you don’t get along with z

MiniDarhk: I’m dating her

grunt: but you fight a lot

Trenchcoat: Ever heard of banter, dummy

ZariIsTheBest: ^^

grunt: punk amaya still doesn’t

gayforray: doesn’t what

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, that’s a work in progress

gayforray: oh, like doesn’t get along with her

gayforray: sorry, I’m kinda off my head because of the flu

rayofsunshine: I’m so sorry about that, Nate.

gayforray: I miss you

rayofsunshine: I miss you too.

Trenchcoat: Go ahead and give us all diabetes with your sweetness

MiniDarhk: I wouldn’t mind

notbarryallen: nora is a mood

Lancelot: A few days ago you wanted to have a tensome with us and now you mind

Trenchcoat: A few days ago I didn’t have to spend all my time with Ray

ZariIsTheBest: seriously, you’re bringing that up again

rayofsunshine: Come on, I know you enjoyed it.

Lancelot: John is actually good with kids, thanks for coming to my TED talk

notbarryallen: really

rayofsunshine: He made them spill all the secrets within five minutes.

Lancelot: And we had to become tweens for a day

MissTimeBureau: You were an adorable 12-year-old, Sara.

Lancelot: You too, Aves <3

ZariIsTheBest: I’m still mad I didn’t get to see that

grunt: at least you had donuts

notbarryallen: zari + donuts is the true otp here

MiniDarhk: lol yeah

ZariIsTheBest: I kinda want more

MissTimeBureau: And I don’t want to do missions with you anymore.

Trenchcoat: Good

Lancelot: You have to admit we had fun when we played truth or dare

MissTimeBureau: Well, I am glad for the new childhood memories.

Lancelot: <3

Trenchcoat: One thing though, Ray, you’ve got to watch a horror film

rayofsunshine: No, I hate scary movies.

gayforray: I tried to make him watch Halloween with me on Halloween

gayforray: didn’t end up well

MiniDarhk: let’s do a horror movie marathon

grunt: dracula first

notbarryallen: the nun 👀

Lancelot: I’m in

ZariIsTheBest: we gotta do the scary movie series

notbarryallen: 👍🏾

gayforray: okay, after I come back on the ship, you’re not doing this without me

Trenchcoat: No one else would convince Palmer to watch otherwise, I’m afraid

Lancelot: True

rayofsunshine: I am not doing this. Seeing it in real life was enough.

gayforray: but you did enjoy the magic, right

rayofsunshine: Well, yeah.

rayofsunshine: Magical detectives!

gayforray: I want to see you do magic

ZariIsTheBest: Gary’s an influence on you

gayforray: how so

ZariIsTheBest: you’re like him at the beginning of his relationship with John now

gayforray: I’m not

AgentGeek: You are

Trenchcoat: A lot of people have a magic kink, I’ve discovered

gayforray: 😊😅

MiniDarhk: I want to see ray do magic

gayforray: et tu, Nora 😏

notbarryallen: today’s mood: everyone is lowkey in love with ray


MiniDarhk changed the group’s name to everyone is lowkey in love with ray

ZariIsTheBest changed the group’s name to Ray is low-key in love with everyone

gayforray changed the group’s name to everyone is gayforray ;)


rayofsunshine: Guys…

MiniDarhk: ha he’s speechless

notbarryallen: nate 👏🏾

Jaxon: omg interesting development

Jaxon: still reading this for fun

Lancelot: I’m glad you’re having fun on our account ;)


Lancelot changed the group’s name to World’s Biggest Poly SHIP


MiniDarhk: even better

Jaxon: this is rly making me miss u

notbarryallen: come back then

gayforray: says you

notbarryallen: sorry for dating someone off the ship

MiniDarhk: off the ship 👏

gayforray: Wally

gayforray: I figured it out

notbarryallen: ok hit me

gayforray: I’ve never heard of a superhero named Patrick because there isn’t a superhero named Patrick… on this Earth

notbarryallen: gasp

gayforray: amirite

notbarryallen: yup

Lancelot: Lucky guy, always dating someone from a different Earth

ZariIsTheBest: how do you even do that

notbarryallen: idk man

notbarryallen: he’s from earth 18 and his name here is different, is all I’m telling you

Jaxon: i know who he is here

ZariIsTheBest: 👀

gayforray: 👀

Lancelot: 👀

Jaxon: i swore to wally i wouldn’t tell 😛

MiniDarhk: so, poly ships

MiniDarhk: who would you do

MiniDarhk: zari, ray, nate, lowkey constantine

ZariIsTheBest: NORA

MiniDarhk: we all thought that

Trenchcoat: Besides Gary and Sara? Probably Ray and Nora Darhk

Lancelot: Z and Nate

gayforray: Ray, I love you

gayforray: but Mick, Sara, Nora, and Gary

AgentGeek: aldnflwngfd

AgentGeek: Nate and Mona and boss and Sara and Ray too I guess

MissTimeBureau: Ugh.

MissTimeBureau: This is stupid.

ZariIsTheBest: agreed

Lancelot: Babe, it’s not like we’re gonna do it, it’s just a game

MissTimeBureau: I want no one but you.

Lancelot: Aww I feel so special now

MissTimeBureau: <3

grunt: pretty, haircut, amaya, punk amaya

MiniDarhk: john and you should fuck, maybe you’d stop arguing

Trenchcoat: No

grunt: never

notbarryallen: I feel so left out right now

Lancelot: Enjoy being young

Jaxon: id do you

notbarryallen: thanks

Jaxon: also zari and nate

notbarryallen: likewise

MiniDarhk: zari and ray haven’t said anything yet 👀

ZariIsTheBest: honey I’m ace

MiniDarhk: yeah, but in theory

ZariIsTheBest: Amaya, but she’s not here

MiniDarhk: you broke my heart

ZariIsTheBest: and you too

gayforray: @rayofsunshine you can’t avoid this

rayofsunshine: I’d rather if I did.

notbarryallen: you can’t

rayofsunshine: If I must…

rayofsunshine: I’d sleep with Nora, John and Mick.

Trenchcoat: You really do have a thing for dark souls, don’t you, sunshine

grunt: you totally can, just saying

rayofsunshine: I’m in a relationship, thank you very much.

MiniDarhk: doesn’t mean we can’t have fun

ZariIsTheBest: ahem

MiniDarhk: within limits

MiniDarhk: ray, nate and I are a match ;)

notbarryallen: this escalated quickly

Jaxon: so quickly


Gideon joined World’s Biggest Poly SHIP


Gideon: I know enough about each of you to say that if I had an actual human form, I would not sleep with any of you.

Lancelot: Gideon??!?

grunt: rude

Chapter Text

‘Did we just confess to wanting to sleep with each other despite being in functional relationships with men we love?’

Gary slowly turned his head to Nate and equally slowly raised an eyebrow. He sniffed.

Nate put his mobile on the Beebo-patterned blanket covering his legs. ‘I don’t know, did we?’

‘Um, kinda?’ he said. ‘This is awkward.’

Nate coughed. Then he said, ‘Point for you, bro.’ Gary opened his mouth to say something, but Nate cut him off before a word escaped him. ‘We’re not actually doing it.’

‘Yeah, I mean, I didn’t actually hope for that or anything.’ There was a sneeze, and then Nate sneezed too. ‘Ow, that hurt,’ Gary pointed out.

Nate checked his mobile for any new texts. There was only one: from Gideon. Huh.

Gary shifted on the bed. He was trying to reach the remote control for the TV. After he almost spilt his tea and knocked over a lamp, he asked, ‘Another episode?’

They were watching Forever. In bed together, under Beebo blankets, because that’s absolutely what colleagues do when they both catch the flu and don’t want to pass it on to their boyfriends (again). ‘Hit it, Gary. And pass me that tea, thanks.’

‘Sure.’ He pressed play and passed the thermos to Nate. ‘This show is so good! And Henry is definitely bi.’

Nate nodded in agreement. ‘Obviously.’

Gary looked at him with the same anticipation again—but this time, he was smiling. ‘Bi club!’

Nate sipped at his tea and when Gary didn’t give up, he high-fived him. It hurt, because his entire body hurt, and he felt like he was going to die, which was something he considered impossible after being injected with the steel serum, but oh well, here we are.

‘Too much effort,’ he groaned.

‘Yeah. It hurts more than having my nipple bit off by a unicorn.’

‘Please, stop talking about the nipple, Gary.’ Nate rolled his eyes at him and focused on the show instead.

Chapter Text

‘What the hell is this?’ Charlie raised her eyebrow at the small, rectangular object Ray just gave her.

Smiling, as if he was glad she asked, he started explaining, ‘This is a mobile phone—like a regular telephone, but mobile! You can take it everywhere you go and communicate with people even through time—’

She shoved it back into his hand. ‘I don’t need your mobile phone, Ray. It’s enough I’m staying on this ship with you.’

However, he was adamant on giving her the gift he has made specially for her: someone from the past. ‘But what if we get separated, the comms are down, and you need to call us?’ he asked and tilted the mobile toward her. They reached her new quarters. ‘Just keep it. Zari will explain how it works.’

‘You’re a really nice bloke, but I don’t need your stuff.’ Charlie waved her hand in front of the motion detector, just like he had shown her. ‘See you at dinner.’

‘Maybe you’ll change your mind yet.’ The door didn’t close; Ray slipped inside and placed the mobile onto a box right next to it. ‘See you at dinner!’

With a smile and the thought of a successful mission, he strode towards his room and his suit. Programming this device was fun—but the real work had to be done now.

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: [image attached: eyesandwich.jpeg]

ZariIsTheBest: that’s just leeks on ketchup

AgentGeek: I read the name as “eyes and wich” and wondered if that was a word haha

notbarryallen: omg gary

notbarryallen: I thought it was funny

gayforray: it’s a bit funny

notbarryallen: thanks

notbarryallen: I have an announcement to make

MiniDarhk: are you engaged

Lancelot: Are you finally unwrapping the mystery of your bf

Gideon: Does this concern me or the ship?

gayforray: Gideon’s the only reasonable one here

notbarryallen: no 😂 kinda and yeah

notbarryallen: rick’s leaving central city and asked me to come with him

gayforray: 👀

ZariIsTheBest: what did you say

rayofsunshine: Are you going to Earth-18?

notbarryallen: no don’t worry

notbarryallen: just asia

Lancelot: “Just Asia”, okay, Wally

ZariIsTheBest: isn’t that where Rip found you the last time

notbarryallen: I just feel like I need to continue the self-discovery path and get to know a life outside being a hero and saving the world

gayforray: you just want to spend time with your bf, we get it, Wally

notbarryallen: that too 😆

Lancelot: Leaving the team right in the middle of a magical crisis, that’s not cool, Wally

Lancelot: No, I’m kidding, but we’ll miss you

notbarryallen: you can give my room to charlie

rayofsunshine: I already helped her move in into Nate’s old room.

gayforray: does anyone else see a sad paradox in that

ZariIsTheBest: yeah, I’m sorry

ZariIsTheBest: @notbarryallen but you’re staying in the chat, right?

notbarryallen: obvi

notbarryallen: what would I do without reading about who wants to bang who

Gideon: Where precisely in Asia are you going, Mr West?

notbarryallen: everywhere and nowhere

MiniDarhk: good answer

Lancelot: What are you even doing here, Gideon?

Gideon: I was bored because no one ever talks to me, it’s always “Gideon, fabricate this” and “Gideon, what’s a rugaru” and “Gideon, play that ABBA song Mick hates”.

ZariIsTheBest: I feel a little guilty right now

gayforray: yeah, me too

Gideon: I am happy to fulfil your wishes, but an AI needs some entertainment every now and then.

notbarryallen: mood

Lancelot: Let’s be honest, this is John and his weird requests’ fault

Trenchcoat: What did I do this time

Gideon: Ask for inappropriate spell ingredients.

Trenchcoat: Gideon, what are you calling inappropriate?

Gideon: Rabbit’s testicles, for example.

Jaxon: u serious

Jaxon: what exactly do u do there

MiniDarhk: magic

Jaxon: why did i even ask

Jaxon: @notbarryallen when r u leaving

notbarryallen: next week

ZariIsTheBest: off topic but we gotta give Gideon a silly nickname

Lancelot: Agreed

Gideon: I don’t see how that’s important.

gayforray: it just is

rayofsunshine: The heart of the TARDIS.

ZariIsTheBest: clever but too long

notbarryallen: janet

MiniDarhk: mama hen

MiniDarhk: robot aunt

Jaxon: lmao


Lancelot changed Gideon’s name to MamaWaverider


gayforray: 👍

MamaWaverider: I can simply change it back.

Lancelot: As the captain, I’m ordering you not to

MamaWaverider: Not fair, captain.

gayforray: since we’re doing this


gayforray changed AgentGeek’s name to gare-bear


ZariIsTheBest: you two are really growing closer

gare-bear: Damn right we are

Trenchcoat: I’m not sure if I like that

Lancelot: Oooh, someone’s jealous

MiniDarhk: soft

Trenchcoat: I’m not soft

MamaWaverider: You brought one of Gary’s Beebo blankets from his flat. I’d call that soft.

notbarryallen: lol you’re killing it today

MiniDarhk: why didn’t Gideon join this sooner

Trenchcoat: 🖕

gayforray: 💩

gare-bear: ♥️

ZariIsTheBest: 👀 Gideon knows all out secrets

MamaWaverider: I do indeed, Miss Tomaz.

gayforray: why do I see a smirk there

notbarryallen: we should call gideon queen of sass

MamaWaverider: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

ZariIsTheBest: Nora where are you

MiniDarhk: kitchen

ZariIsTheBest: I thought we could do some hand-to-hand combat training but never mind

Trenchcoat: Is that what you kids call it these days

ZariIsTheBest: we’re almost the same age

MiniDarhk: [image attached: cooks.jpeg]

MiniDarhk: [image attached: pastaattemptno6.jpeg]

MiniDarhk: this isn’t much different

gayforray: so that’s where Ray went off to

grunt: do I see food

ZariIsTheBest: how to summon Mick 101

Jaxon: looking good

MiniDarhk: hope it tastes good too

Lancelot: Is Ray teaching you how to cook?

Trenchcoat: Why cook when you have the food fabricator

rayofsunshine: *we.

rayofsunshine: I love the food fabricator, but there is nothing better than a hand-cooked meal.

MamaWaverider: Excuse me, I make excellent meals.

MiniDarhk: never said you don’t, it’s just, I’ve never learned how to cook myself and ray offered to teach me

rayofsunshine: I know a bunch of good vegetarian and halal recipes and I can finally use them!

MiniDarhk: for you @ZariIsTheBest

ZariIsTheBest: I don’t know what to say

gayforray: aww


gayforray changed ZariIsTheBest’s name to smittenwithnora

smittenwithnora changed their name to ZarisDeathlyEyeroll

gayforray changed ZarisDeathlyEyeroll’s name to QueenZee


QueenZee: okay I like that

QueenZee: advancement

rayofsunshine: You’re really bored, aren’t you, Nate?

gayforray: out of my mind

Trenchcoat: That pasta you’re making, will we have it for dinner

grunt: sick of gross british food already

Trenchcoat: British cuisine isn’t gross, Yank

Trenchcoat: But having chicken and potatoes three days straight isn’t a shine either

MamaWaverider: That’s for the odd spell ingredients you keep asking of me.

Trenchcoat: Real ta, AI

Trenchcoat: @gare-bear can you believe this? I ask for a steak and I get a bloody chicken leg every time

gare-bear: You should never mess with a ship AI, John

MamaWaverider: Thank you.

MiniDarhk: if you think the pasta’s edible then, by all means, have it

rayofsunshine: Yes, we made enough to feed a dwarf army.

Lancelot: Dwarf army?

rayofsunshine: That’s just a comparison that came to my mind.

MiniDarhk: enough for six humans

grunt: there’s 7 of us

MiniDarhk: there’s no meat so you’re not eating it

grunt: true

grunt: fuck your vegetable food

MamaWaverider: It wouldn’t hurt if you tried vegetarian cuisine once in a while, Mr Rory.

QueenZee: yeah, it’s much better than hamburgers

notbarryallen: says someone in a relationship with pink donuts

QueenZee: what, I don’t eat them every day

Lancelot: Hey Mick, have you even noticed I left about an hour ago

grunt: no

Trenchcoat: More pasta for us then

gayforray: I want pasta toooo

gayforray: Gary, call some delivery

gare-bear: I have a freezer full of my grandma’s food, I’m sure there’s some pasta there too

gayforray: oh, nice

Lancelot: How’s living together going

gayforray: I feel like Jake when he had mumps and had to stay in one house with Holt for two weeks

gayforray: except Gary’s like an over-enthusiastic Boyle

Lancelot: So it’s like the 8-day stakeout

gayforray: you’re right

gare-bear: I’m sorry

gayforray: good thing I’m starting to feel well enough to go back to the ship and Ray-Ray

gare-bear: 😔

notbarryallen: painful

gayforray: 😙

gayforray: @rayofsunshine I miss you so much

gayforray: texting just doesn’t do it

MiniDarhk: please tell me how could you live before you were together

rayofsunshine: Badly and sadly.

gayforray: at least we had rooms next to each other

rayofsunshine: Pasta is ready!

MiniDarhk: [image attached: thumbsup.jpeg]

QueenZee: I’m looking forward to it

MiniDarhk: I’m nervous now

Trenchcoat: You can always curse us into thinking it tastes great

QueenZee: don’t give her ideas, John

rayofsunshine: Gideon, tell Charlie dinner’s ready.

MamaWaverider: Yes, Dr Palmer.

rayofsunshine: This would be easier if she just used that phone I gave her.

MiniDarhk: I’ll talk to her

MiniDarhk: sorry in advance if this tastes like vomit

rayofsunshine: It’s good, don’t worry, Nora.

MiniDarhk: if you say so

gayforray: 👍

Chapter Text



gayforray: guys have you heard

gayforray: Stan Lee died :(

gare-bear: The king is dead. We have lost a true hero and we will mourn him forever.

Trenchcoat: He was just a comic guy

gayforray: just a comic guy, John? Gary’s right, he changed the world

rayofsunshine: Stan Lee died??? And I was having such a good day.

Trenchcoat: Three question marks, must be pretty serious

Lancelot: Show a little respect, John

MiniDarhk: who’s he

QueenZee: you kidding me right now

gayforray: you’ve never seen a Marvel movie, Nora?

MiniDarhk: hello, I was a demon’s vessel for 20 years

rayofsunshine: You watched Doctor Who, though.

MiniDarhk: ok fine, I’ve never seen a marvel movie, happy

QueenZee: you’re in for a ride then

gayforray: can we all watch all the movies

gayforray: you know, to mourn Stan

rayofsunshine: I’m all in! But I’ll need tissues.

gare-bear: You cry at Captain America too?

rayofsunshine: Yes, and also the ending of Infinity War.

gayforray: I know where this is going

gayforray: no spoilers, Z

QueenZee: jeez calm down

gare-bear: But we can watch the fourth movie, right? When we’re on a time ship and it’s only half a year away

MamaWaverider: I would advise against watching future television.

Lancelot: Same here

QueenZee: but we have to, because of Nora ;)

gare-bear: Yes, I fully support that

MiniDarhk: it’s not future for me so I say yeah whatever

rayofsunshine: Hey @grunt, are you a fan of Marvel?

grunt: I like deadpool

notbarryallen: haha nice

Lancelot: I also like Deadpool

QueenZee: no surprise there

gayforray: I’m still sad about Stan Lee but I’m glad I’m back here because GROUP MARVEL REWATCH!!!

rayofsunshine: In what order are we watching?

gayforray: chronological, obviously

Lancelot: You do realize this will take at least two days

gare-bear: We’re counting on that

Trenchcoat: You really care an awful lot about some movies

gare-bear: Shut up

gare-bear: You love horror movies and Doctor Who

Trenchcoat: Well, the horror film night was fun

QueenZee: I’m never getting Ray’s reactions out of my mind

notbarryallen: yeah me neither

notbarryallen: [image attached: cringe.jpeg]

gayforray: stop making fun of him

rayofsunshine: Thank you <3

gayforray: cause I’m the only one allowed to make fun of my boyfriend

gayforray: [video attached: scream.mp4]

Lancelot: You’re a wicked little guy

gayforray: wicked maybe, but definitely not little ;)

QueenZee: ahem

Trenchcoat: Did anyone else remember the Olympic games

Lancelot: Oh yeah

gare-bear: Hey, I wasn’t there

Trenchcoat: Then you missed a lot, love

QueenZee: ahEM

MiniDarhk: don’t listen to them honey

MiniDarhk: but damn I’d love to see that

rayofsunshine: I’m slightly confused here.

gayforray: 😏

MamaWaverider: I believe they are talking about Dr Heywood’s… private parts.

notbarryallen: Gideon omg

Lancelot: Hey Ray, you know all that first hand ;)

rayofsunshine: I’m not talking to you anymore.

gayforray: I kinda feel the same energy here baby

Trenchcoat: You started it, mate

gayforray: technically that was Sara

QueenZee: distraction, anyone


MamaWaverider added Charlie to World’s Biggest Poly SHIP


QueenZee: thanks, Gideon

grunt: I doubt she’ll join this thing


grunt changed Charlie’s name to punkbaby


Lancelot: Which is why you did that

gayforray: anyone else sensing a ship here

notbarryallen: hell yes new people

MiniDarhk: 👀

Trenchcoat: What the hell are you talking about

gare-bear: A ship is uhhhh when you think some people should be together, mainly in fiction

MiniDarhk: I’m surprised you haven’t taught him all these things already

gare-bear: We don’t really talk about this stuff that much?

Trenchcoat: We’re less Netflix and more chill, so to speak

gayforray: 😉

Jaxon: do u have more people on this ship now

rayofsunshine: Only Charlie, she’s a shapeshifter from 1977 London.

Trenchcoat: Not anymore

grunt: yeah thanks to you, trenchcoat

Lancelot: @rayofsunshine aw you’re talking to us

gayforray: can’t resist answering a question

rayofsunshine: That’s true.

MiniDarhk: that was fast mm

MiniDarhk: I also might’ve convinced charlie to use that phone

punkbaby: so what is this

grunt: haircut’s stupid group chat

punkbaby: who are you

grunt: mick

punkbaby: right

punkbaby: what bloody good is this for

rayofsunshine: Communication and team building, of course! Hi, Charlie, this is Ray.

punkbaby: yeah i kinda figured that out

MiniDarhk: we mostly make fun of each other here or talk about weird stuff

notbarryallen: like sex

MiniDarhk: or my cooking attempts

notbarryallen: good definition of weird stuff

punkbaby: i suppose you lot arent so bad after all

punkbaby: but why the names i dont even know who you are

grunt: their idea

QueenZee: just because

grunt: wanna grab a beer with me

punkbaby: sure but i dont want any of your american piss, give me a proper pint

Trenchcoat: For once I agree with you

grunt: you’re not invited

punkbaby: youre the warlock who cursed me

Trenchcoat: Good guess, love

Trenchcoat: I tolerate you on this ship but that doesn’t mean I like you or your kind, so stay away from me. I’m the magic expert here

punkbaby: fine by me

Lancelot: Guys, please don’t pick any more fights

MamaWaverider: Here on the Waverider, we respect each other.

gayforray: preach, Gideon

punkbaby: and who might you be

Lancelot: I’m Sara, the captain

gayforray: hi, I’m Nate, we haven’t met yet, I used to date the one whose face you’re wearing but now I’m dating Ray

punkbaby: this ray

rayofsunshine: Do you see any other Rays here? Yes, he’s my boyfriend.

punkbaby: just didnt think you had it in you

rayofsunshine: You’ve seen what I can do. I stole that corgi!

gayforray: I’m proud of you, but never do that again

MiniDarhk: this is nora in case you can’t tell

QueenZee: I’m Zari and I still don’t trust you

punkbaby: likewise

notbarryallen: wow, no love lost there

notbarryallen: this is wally

punkbaby: i dont get your name

notbarryallen: it’s a reference to barry allen, my more famous brother in law

QueenZee: he also runs fast

rayofsunshine: I’ll give you an introduction to our world and the future later if you want!

punkbaby: what year are you from anyway

Lancelot: The ship is from the 2150s but we come from 2018

punkbaby: blimey thats 41 years in the future

gayforray: well, things aren’t that different, I’m a historian, I would know

QueenZee: I’m actually from 2042 and Nora is from 2038

grunt: and amaya was from 1942

notbarryallen: this must sound wild to an outsider

Trenchcoat: She’s been locked in a magical dimension, I think she’s fine

punkbaby: speak for yourself trenchcoat

gayforray: what did I say about a ship 👀

Lancelot: I see it now

rayofsunshine: Yeah.

notbarryallen: how’s your beer

MamaWaverider: You know I have the ability to fabricate every food or drink down to every detail, so naturally, it’s perfect.

Lancelot: Gideon likes to brag

punkbaby: how does this gideon work, who is she, all i can hear is her voice

MamaWaverider: I am an artificial intelligence—something like a supercomputer if you will. I am the heart of this ship and observe its basic functions, such as life support, medical care, food, navigation, and weapons system. I can also receive orders and messages.

QueenZee: and she’s sometimes really sassy, too

Trenchcoat: With a twisted sense of humour

gare-bear: Did you get chicken again?

Trenchcoat: Charred toast for breakfast

QueenZee: /virtual pat on the back/ don’t worry, you’ll get over it

gare-bear: I’m so sorry, John

Trenchcoat: Are you busy right now, love

gare-bear: Not particularly, why?

Trenchcoat: Since we were talking about Netflix and chill, I got a little idea

gare-bear: Okay that’s great I’m coming right now lwnaffdvs

MiniDarhk: you’ll give him a heart attack one day

Trenchcoat: Oh I’ll give him more than a heart attack, alright

gayforray: /facepalm/

Lancelot: You’re such an adorable couple

punkbaby: what exactly is going on

MiniDarhk: they’re gonna bang

gayforray: see, we’re all in fulfilling relationships with other people on this ship

QueenZee: except Wally

notbarryallen: shut up

notbarryallen: the only single person left was mick

MiniDarhk: also we’re a little or a lot gay, depends on who you ask

grunt: what about you

punkbaby: i aint straight thats for sure


punkbaby: so mick youre the only single one here

grunt: yeah

punkbaby: youre mine now

Chapter Text



grunt: what

grunt: I don’t want to date anyone

punkbaby: im joking

punkbaby: but i do like you, mick, you have a good taste in alcohol and understand what ive been through better than anyone

MiniDarhk: now that’s not fair

QueenZee: you’re already dating me

MiniDarhk: your point

QueenZee: okay be friends with her if you want to

punkbaby: she can read this

MiniDarhk: yeah I apologize for zari

Lancelot: Anyway

Lancelot: Who’s been in the bathroom for ten minutes

MamaWaverider: Mr West.

notbarryallen: sorry

gayforray: one would think the speedster would be out in a minute

notbarryallen: I’m, uh

notbarryallen: trying something

grunt: jerking off in normal speed

notbarryallen: jeez no

notbarryallen: just some… eyeliner

QueenZee: hey I can give you some tips

Lancelot: So can I, if you get the fuck out for a sec

gayforray: trying out makeup for your boyfriend 👀

notbarryallen: kinda

notbarryallen: I’m glad you’re so chill about this

QueenZee: why wouldn’t we, we’re all kinds of weird

gayforray: gay and weird

punkbaby: punks wear eyeliner and give zero fucks, i support you kid

punkbaby: really youre all gay

QueenZee: Ava and I are lesbians, the rest are bi and the like

rayofsunshine: Or pan.

punkbaby: whats that

grunt: same thing

rayofsunshine: It means you’re attracted to a person regardless of gender.

MiniDarhk: like two or more genders, like bi, idk, it’s complicated

punkbaby: got it

punkbaby: eyeliner kid, definitely come to me for advice

notbarryallen: ok you seem like you know the stuff

QueenZee: hey, I know makeup too

rayofsunshine: So do I! I’m the master of Halloween masks and cosplay.

Lancelot: Of course you are, Ray

gayforray: what, we’re proud of it

MiniDarhk: we

gayforray: not to boast but I’ve got a few awards for the best costume from cons

rayofsunshine: I’m still not over the fact Barry and Iris beat us at the Halloween party.

gayforray: unbelievable

QueenZee: no wonder you all like to dress up in silly superhero costumes

notbarryallen: aha, you wear one too

QueenZee: I was forced to

Trenchcoat: No one can force me to put on a costume

Lancelot: Yeah yeah but we’ll never stop trying

notbarryallen: weren’t you, you know

Trenchcoat: With Gary?

MiniDarhk: yeah

Trenchcoat: He took the mobile to take pictures

gayforray: oh god

Lancelot: Pictures, yeah?

Trenchcoat: What, you and Sharpie never take any

Lancelot: Not when there’s a possibility of someone getting to them

rayofsunshine: All our phones have fingerprint security.

MiniDarhk: 👀

rayofsunshine: It’s not what it looks like.

punkbaby: and what does it look like

gayforray: we’re not making sex tapes, y’all

notbarryallen: title of your sex tape

gayforray: don’t Jake Peralta me

notbarryallen: again, title of your sex tape

QueenZee: you and Ray’s

notbarryallen: yes high five

notbarryallen: charlie you gotta watch b99 with us and also the marvel movie marathon

Lancelot: We doing that today?

QueenZee: you bet

punkbaby: marvel like the comics

punkbaby: there are films in the future

gayforray: I’m glad you asked

rayofsunshine: Do you know Doctor Who?

punkbaby: course i know it but dont watch it, its rubbish

rayofsunshine: Four was on in 1977, right?

punkbaby: giant scarf, yeah

gayforray: Ray, whispering: he’s not lame

rayofsunshine: Four is great! He’s the Doctor!

rayofsunshine: But let’s put that aside now, you have to watch Thirteen with us.

MiniDarhk: she’s a girl and she’s great

QueenZee: she’s my wife

gayforray: mine too

gayforray: sorry Ray

rayofsunshine: Only if I can marry Eleven.

Lancelot: Favorite Doctors, the saga

Trenchcoat: I’d marry both Eleven and Thirteen

gayforray: John 👀

Trenchcoat: Oh, no, this is Gary

Trenchcoat: John’s favorite is obviously Ten

punkbaby: so there are 13 of them now

rayofsunshine: Actually, it’s fifteen, but two don’t really count.

punkbaby: next youll tell me the star wars thing has 6 more films

rayofsunshine: Actually, the ninth episode is coming out next year, and there are three extra movies between episodes and six animated shows.

gayforray: baby, you’re forgetting the holiday special and the ewoks stuff again

rayofsunshine: You’re right, sorry, I always forget about that.

punkbaby: why its horrible

gayforray: /gasp/ NO

QueenZee: go get her, Nate

Lancelot: Star Wars is literally what made them decide their careers, believe me, we know that first hand

MiniDarhk: yeah we never trash on star wars here

gayforray: thank you

gayforray: I’d be a freaking yoga instructor and Ray would be a heart surgeon

gayforray: which, I admit, is very hot, but the atom suit is even hotter

gayforray: and before you say anything, no, we don’t use it for any sexual activities

notbarryallen: “we never trash on star wars here” is basically rule number 1

QueenZee: I thought that was don’t let Mick light anything on the ship on fire

MiniDarhk: or no using lol in this chat

notbarryallen: lol who cares anymore

Lancelot: I’m pretty sure rule number one is “always listen to your captain”

rayofsunshine: Yes, ma’am.

MamaWaverider: Rip has written down a list of rules, in case you’re interested in hearing it.

QueenZee: better not

gayforray: are at least five about Mick

MamaWaverider: Seven.

grunt: what have I done

rayofsunshine: Threatened to kill us more than once, set the ship on fire at least once, broke the food fabricator more than once, I could go on.

grunt: I didn’t mean it literally haircut

punkbaby: a true troublemaker, i’m really starting to like you

gayforray: I know you were joking but you should get together

notbarryallen: and break our same sex couple show

QueenZee: you’re leaving next week, why care

notbarryallen: did you see a question mark

QueenZee: we never use punctuation marks so yeah I actually did

notbarryallen: well true

MiniDarhk: 😂

grunt: told you I don’t want to date anyone

Lancelot: We’ll see what we can do

gayforray: ;)

QueenZee: and so the shipping saga begins anew

notbarryallen: you’re happy when it’s not you 😏

MiniDarhk: 😙

grunt: fuck off

punkbaby: youve got the right idea

punkbaby: but I wouldnt mind you shagging me

grunt: hmm

notbarryallen: hmmmmmmmmmm

Lancelot: Have a drink and see what happens

MissTimeBureau: What exactly has been going on in here?

QueenZee: you were not secretly reading it, I’m surprised

Lancelot: Aves, do you wanna do a Marvel marathon with us

Lancelot: Or have a drink and see what happens ;)

gayforray: you have to do the movie marathon with us, Ava

MissTimeBureau: Nate, I’m your boss, not the other way around. But all right, I could do that.

Lancelot: Nice

rayofsunshine: I thought there would have to be a bit more persuasion.

gayforray: same

MissTimeBureau: What, you think I can’t enjoy a superhero movie when I work with a bunch of them?

Lancelot: Aww you called us superheroes

Trenchcoat: Superheroes are idiots in costumes who overestimate their powers

QueenZee: I don’t like costumes but that’s a bit disrespectful towards us

QueenZee: and didn’t you sleep with Batman

MissTimeBureau: Please, he’s slept with everyone.

QueenZee: true

gayforray: I guess that’s a no for the marathon from John?

gare-bear: No, that’s definitely a yes

gayforray: great

QueenZee: so how much popcorn should I make

Lancelot: Lotz

Chapter Text



Lancelot: Bones alert? Guys? Anytime soon would be good

QueenZee: sorry, I heard you, I went to get Mick

QueenZee: so Wally, are you ready for your last mission

notbarryallen: no tbh

notbarryallen: I love doing this with you guys

rayofsunshine: Aww. We love having you around too.

notbarryallen: is it at least something cool

Lancelot: Come and find out

notbarryallen: @gayforray

notbarryallen: you’re gonna love this

notbarryallen: ishiro honda is involved

gayforray: that’s the guy who directed Godzilla!

gayforray: why do I have to be at work again

MissTimeBureau: Because your father is coming for an inspection, Nate.

gayforray: right

rayofsunshine: I’m sorry.

gayforray sent a GIF

punkbaby: do I really have to wear a bloody costume

QueenZee: we have to blend in, so yeah

notbarryallen: who taught you how to capitalize

MiniDarhk: I did

MiniDarhk: didn’t know there was a symbol keyboard either

punkbaby: what its not like I need it

punkbaby: I also know how to do this


punkbaby changed their name to trickstergoddess


gayforray: noice

QueenZee: if that’s a Loki reference I hate you a bit less

trickstergoddess: I dont care for your approval

trickstergoddess: but of course its a loki reference, hes relatable

notbarryallen: he’s just so extra

notbarryallen: I love him

QueenZee: yeahhh

gayforray: everyone does

MiniDarhk: he’s so dark and sexy

rayofsunshine: But he also achieved redemption and became a better person, just like you.

Trenchcoat: And here I thought you couldn’t get any more obsessive over movies

QueenZee: okay that’s not gonna happen

Lancelot: Not with these guys

MissTimeBureau: You should know better, Constantine.

Lancelot: So, are we ready to roll

gayforray: seriously I want to go with you

gare-bear: You get to stay with me!

gayforray: thanks, Gary

Trenchcoat: I’ll pass on this one, I think you can handle whatever creature is hiding in the bay by yourselves

Trenchcoat: I’m gonna go hang out at the time bureau with Gary instead

gare-bear: No, please, don’t, not today

Trenchcoat: Why, love, I thought you liked having me round

gare-bear: Hank Heywood is here today and we have so many fugitives to take care of and just, I’d like to stay out of trouble for once

QueenZee: like you can stay out of trouble

gare-bear: I try

MiniDarhk: come on john, we can play magical cards or something

Trenchcoat: You want to stay away from those

MiniDarhk: k I was just offering to keep you company

gayforray: you’re not going either?

MiniDarhk: there’s five of them already

MiniDarhk: and I’m not exactly feeling up for it today

QueenZee: you sure you’re okay?

MiniDarhk: yeah it’s fine

MissTimeBureau: Anxiety?

MiniDarhk: it’s just

MiniDarhk: it’s a year since I’ve brought my father back and I can’t stop thinking about him and the sacrifice he made for me

QueenZee: we can curl up in a blanket cocoon and play video games when we come back, yeah?

rayofsunshine: I’ll make you some hot chocolate. I know what this can be like sometimes.

MissTimeBureau: I’m sorry about that.

MissTimeBureau: Oh, and fun story, I was invited to join the Heywoods for Thanksgiving.

gayforray: it’s okay if you don’t want to go

MissTimeBureau: No, I do!

Lancelot: Maybe this case will be over quickly and we can still celebrate it at our place?

notbarryallen: no no no we’re doing a proper waverider thanksgiving, aight

trickstergoddess: you americans with your holidays

Lancelot: Got something to say?

trickstergoddess: you always get together and pretend like alls fine and you dont hate each other and youre the most important in the world but guess what, its just a bloody illusion

Trenchcoat: Agree with you, love

Lancelot: Okay you’re uninvited if it bothers you that much

grunt: no she’s not

Lancelot: What

grunt: please?

gayforray: wow

notbarryallen: cruSH

Lancelot: I have to unsay what I said now because Mick actually said please

Trenchcoat: Well I’m still not interested

rayofsunshine: You live here, of course you’re interested.

MiniDarhk: you up for cooking a turkey with me

gayforray: a) you roast a turkey

gayforray: b) we always let Gideon fabricate it

MamaWaverider: I’ll be happy to provide the perfect Thanksgiving feast for you.

Lancelot: You always do, Gideon

rayofsunshine: Actually, I think we could cook the food ourselves this year! Take it as teambuilding.

grunt: why

MamaWaverider: Are you questioning my food again?

rayofsunshine: No, nothing like that! I’m just saying it would be, you know, more authentic and traditional. And besides, this is the perfect opportunity for Nora to test her cooking skills.

notbarryallen: it’s my last one with you so I say we go for it

grunt: I’m not eating your experimental food

QueenZee: you eat everything when you’re hungry

trickstergoddess: yeah youre like a walking stomach

trickstergoddess: I like that

MiniDarhk: so is zari tbh

QueenZee: I like snacking, nothing wrong with that

MiniDarhk: at least I have a test subject for my cooking

gayforray: wasn’t that Ray

MiniDarhk: both

rayofsunshine: I’m happy to be your test subject! 😄

Lancelot: Soooo let’s all be test subjects, I guess

gayforray: what about Ava and I though

notbarryallen: we’re doing it on friday cause we’re also working if you haven’t noticed

gayforray: right 👉👉

MissTimeBureau: Two Thanksgiving feasts, God help me.

Lancelot: I’ll make sure you get enough exercise to burn all the calories, Aves ;)

Lancelot: I also have a suggestion: let’s do it at our house instead of the ship, no fabricator

MamaWaverider: I’m mildly offended.

MissTimeBureau: If you figure out how to seat 11 people around our table.

notbarryallen: can I invite patrick

Lancelot: Of course!

notbarryallen: sorry ava

MissTimeBureau: Is there a sigh emoji?

gayforray: no but your expression does it

rayofsunshine: We don’t have to do it at the house if you don’t want to.

QueenZee: really, if we’re that much of a pain in the ass

MissTimeBureau: I never said that, I only said we don’t have enough space at the table.

MiniDarhk: improvise

notbarryallen: we can sit on the floor

gayforray: playing at tbbt

notbarryallen: 😂

gayforray: anyway how’s the mission

QueenZee: we got the movie, it’s freaking kraken

rayofsunshine: It’s an octopus, not a kraken. Those are two entirely different species.

gayforray: they’re both cephalopods, let it go

rayofsunshine: You’re right, I should let it go.

gayforray: always right ;)

QueenZee: so are we going after this non-fugitive kraken now or

QueenZee: cause I’m actually tired

trickstergoddess: yeah im out

grunt: said it destroys the city in two days right

Lancelot: Okay, let’s just have dinner

Lancelot: Gideon, surprise us this time

MamaWaverider: Surprise dinner coming right away.

Trenchcoat: Be a good girl and give me something else than chicken

grunt: I want porn

grunt: I meant pork

QueenZee: Mick, honestly

QueenZee: we know you’re working on your novel again

grunt: ok fine I am

grunt: but I really want pork

MamaWaverider: I thought you wanted a surprise dinner.

grunt: just put meat in it

trickstergoddess: I want what mick has

trickstergoddess: still a surprise ey

MamaWaverider: I imagine you want whisky to drink with your dinner.

trickstergoddess: now thats a splendid idea

MiniDarhk: you can really hold your liquor, I admire you

trickstergoddess: ta, I do have my tricks

grunt: yeah same for me gideon

notbarryallen: wow fancy

grunt: it’s almost thanksgiving so why the hell not

Lancelot: All right, dinner’s ready

gayforray: I’m portaling on the ship, don’t freak out

gare-bear: Yeah me too

rayofsunshine: So you’re done with your work for today?

MissTimeBureau: Not me, not yet. Save me a slice of something, yeah?

Lancelot: Of course <3

Lancelot: I miss you

MissTimeBureau: So do I.

MissTimeBureau: I’ll definitely stop by later!

MiniDarhk: you’re cute now let’s eat

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: happy thanksgiving 🦃

MiniDarhk: not all of us here eat turkey

MiniDarhk: but yeah, happy thanksgiving

gayforray: (idiots)

MiniDarhk: I didn’t say that

gayforray: I did

gayforray: because guess who has an awful family Thanksgiving ahead of them

MissTimeBureau: We do. But I’m sure it won’t be that bad.

Lancelot: I mean, so do we

rayofsunshine: We’ve got a giant octopus to catch.

MissTimeBureau: Have fun.

QueenZee: always

QueenZee: same goes for you

gayforray: we can certainly try

gayforray: Ray, are you sure you don’t want to come with me?

rayofsunshine: I know your dad doesn’t like me, so let’s just not poke the bear. But you know I’d love to come with you if I could. I love you.

gayforray: you’re right again… but I am going to miss you there

gayforray: love you too, Ray

MissTimeBureau: You have me, Nate, you won’t be completely alone.

gayforray: I know, thanks for that 👍

gayforray: so we should probably go

Lancelot: As should we, right, team?

gare-bear: Why do I have to be at work uhhhh

gare-bear: I’m hungry

MissTimeBureau: Because I took the day off, Gary. I’m sure you can handle it.

Trenchcoat: My offer to come over still stands

gare-bear: You would?

Trenchcoat: Course, love. There’s no cockblocking dad there today, aye?

gayforray: that’s my dad you’re talking about

gare-bear: No, all good

gare-bear: Except for a few fugitives…

Trenchcoat: Excellent, I can send them all back to hell and then we can some fun of our own

Lancelot: Yeah, John, do that, we’re just gonna go save Tokyo from being destroyed in the meantime

rayofsunshine: Are you sure you can handle the miniaturizing beam? Do you know everything?

Lancelot: Ray, I’ve used it before, stop worrying about your suit

grunt: he sure loves his suit

MiniDarhk: too much I think

gayforray: can confirm

rayofsunshine: It’s the single highlight of my engineering career, of course I love my suit.

Lancelot: Okay, let’s just leave it at that and be on our merry way

MiniDarhk: I hope the octopus eats you

QueenZee: very funny, Nora

MiniDarhk: ray

MiniDarhk: wanna watch a show or something

rayofsunshine: Sure! What do you have in mind?

MiniDarhk: idk, dealer’s choice

gare-bear: [image attached: dreamthreesome.jpeg]

MiniDarhk: wow

notbarryallen: ot3

rayofsunshine: Is that taco girl?

gare-bear: Yeah, I might’ve invited her to stay for lunch with John and I and told her what the Time Bureau really is

gayforray: again

gare-bear: I know, it’s like Groundhog Day

MissTimeBureau: I hope you know what you’re doing, Gary.

Trenchcoat: So how’s the family, Sharpie?

MissTimeBureau: Wild.

notbarryallen: tokyo’s wild too, I love it

notbarryallen: what an iconic way to go

gayforray: I’m glad you’re having fun, bro

gare-bear: Speaking of wild

MissTimeBureau: What happened, Gary?

MiniDarhk: did you end up having that threesome

gare-bear: I wish

gare-bear: The prisoners have broken loose

gayforray: fuck

gayforray: I’m coming

Trenchcoat: Don’t worry, lads, I can handle this

MissTimeBureau: Are you sure?

Trenchcoat: Positive, pet

gayforray: is it wrong if I'd rather deal with that than the family

rayofsunshine: There’s nothing wrong about that, Nate. We all have family issues.

MiniDarhk: right on spot

gayforray: do you wanna talk about it or

MiniDarhk: thanks but I still rather wouldn’t

gayforray sent a GIF

MiniDarhk: how do you do that

gayforray: emoji keyboard

MiniDarhk: clever

MiniDarhk sent a GIF

rayofsunshine sent a GIF

gayforray sent a GIF

grunt: children

MiniDarhk: you’re an overgrown alcoholic child yourself

grunt: but not a childish child

QueenZee: so you admit it, hah

MiniDarhk: you on a break or something

notbarryallen: kinda hit a dead end

trickstergoddess: so youre all just sitting here and talking on the mobile phone, got it

Lancelot: I wonder what happened to society

MiniDarhk: you’re doing it too

QueenZee: we’re communicating with our friends on the ship

gayforray: and Thanksgiving dinner

notbarryallen: from 1951

notbarryallen: I’m gonna miss it

trickstergoddess: then dont leave

notbarryallen: it’s not that simple

MiniDarhk: he’s in love

notbarryallen: yeah precisely so shut up, I’m still leaving on saturday

rayofsunshine: Since you’re not busy, we can decide who will prepare what for late Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.

Lancelot: Great idea

Lancelot: Not the turkey

MissTimeBureau: You can just set the table, dear.

notbarryallen: lol accurate

notbarryallen: I can do mashed potatoes

QueenZee: I wanted that

rayofsunshine: I can try and roast the turkey if someone makes the stuffing.

gayforray: I think I can stuff you just fine

rayofsunshine: Great!

rayofsunshine: I’ll just take out the old Grandma Palmer cookbook!

MiniDarhk: I think I can try the casserole

QueenZee: your cooking is great, Nora, you’ll make the perfect casserole

QueenZee: and I don’t want to be a bother but can you get halal turkey

rayofsunshine: Of course, Zari.

QueenZee: thanks

QueenZee: guess I’ll make pie

Lancelot: Pumpkin, please

gayforray: apple

MiniDarhk: both

grunt: I like pecan pie

grunt: and I’m not cooking

QueenZee: I'm making apple pie and the rest of you can go screw yourselves

gare-bear: I can bring pumpkin pie if you want?

Lancelot: Yes

MamaWaverider: I feel so left out right now.

Lancelot: Gideon, fabricate pecan pie for Mick and let him pretend he made it

rayofsunshine: We still need someone to take care of cranberries and sweet potatoes.

MissTimeBureau: I can do that.

Trenchcoat: I’m not taking part in any of this

trickstergoddess: yeah im with trenchcoat

QueenZee: we got that

rayofsunshine: Does anyone want any other meals?

notbarryallen: mac and cheese

Lancelot: Classy

notbarryallen: [image attached: rickwilltakecareofthat.png]

notbarryallen: he knows I need high caloric intake

MiniDarhk: that’s fast texting

gayforray: all I can see is that single text saying “babe…?”

notbarryallen: it’s not like you don’t do that

notbarryallen: here

MissTimeBureau: Is the Fugitive situation taken care of?

Lancelot: Subtle

gare-bear: Yes it is, turns out they were just really hungry

MissTimeBureau: Oh, good.

notbarryallen: that’s a mood

Trenchcoat: The creatures are fully sated and locked up

trickstergoddess: so youre not sending them to hell anymore, how chivalrous of you

gare-bear: I convinced him not to

Lancelot: Anyway

Lancelot: Octopus is back

QueenZee: that’s the thanksgiving spirit I guess

notbarryallen: on it

notbarryallen: it’s shrunken but uh it disappeared down the sewer

trickstergoddess: right, that worked out nicely

Lancelot: We have to come up with a new plan

QueenZee: don’t worry, Mick’s got it

grunt: hell yeah I do

MiniDarhk: this is entertaining

MiniDarhk: better than the movie

rayofsunshine: It’s the 1954 Godzilla, it’s thematic!

gayforray: man, you’re watching the original Godzilla now

MiniDarhk: I’m happy to trade places with you

gayforray: no you’re not

gayforray: [image attached: familydisaster.jpeg]

notbarryallen: lol

Lancelot: Not that again

notbarryallen: sorry mom I’ll use proper words next time

MissTimeBureau: It’s not as funny as it looks.

gayforray: well, at least the food is good

QueenZee: okay but this is funny

QueenZee: [video attached: micksqueen.mp4]

MiniDarhk: what the fuck, mick

Trenchcoat: I see Rory’s true nature has come out

grunt: don’t insult my queen

grunt: she’s gonna destroy the octopus and save the world

MiniDarhk: girl power, right

MiniDarhk: though I have a question, is no one noticing your future tech, like, you’re standing there and texting

Lancelot: People just tend to ignore it most of the time, just like they’re ignoring the ship or other devices we bring in

MamaWaverider: Yes, I have developed a certain form of cloaking on all Waverider components and property, which helps future technology go unnoticed in the past.

QueenZee: Gideon

MamaWaverider: Well, Miss Tomaz and Dr Palmer did, I merely helped them with the installation and activation.

Lancelot: That’s great, why am I only hearing about that now?

rayofsunshine: Because I thought we let you know?

QueenZee: I think Gideon was supposed to

MamaWaverider: Oops, forgive me for that.

MiniDarhk: so it’s basically like the perception filter from doctor who

rayofsunshine: When you put it like that…

gayforray: I knew about that

notbarryallen: ray and you tell each other everything

QueenZee: duh

QueenZee: things got weird so we’re coming back

MiniDarhk: weird how

Lancelot: Mick is having sex with Garima

gayforray: his oc

gayforray: wow

MissTimeBureau: What?

gare-bear: 👀

QueenZee: yeah it’s gross

MiniDarhk: come watch the movie with us

QueenZee: good idea

notbarryallen: so this was great

MiniDarhk: even with mick

notbarryallen: totally

notbarryallen: now let’s watch all three remakes of godzilla cause I need this to be epic

rayofsunshine: I like your idea.

gayforray: I don’t, I want to do that with you

rayofsunshine: We can rewatch all the movies later in bed if you want!

MiniDarhk: we’re in bed now

QueenZee: yup and I’m joining you

gayforray: thanks, baby <3

gayforray: but excuse me for now, my cousins threw pie at uncle and I need to go film it

Chapter Text

Wally pushed his chair back and stood up, all eyes on him. ‘Okay, so since I’m leaving, I think I should do the speech.’ He smiled, a little nervous and uncertain. He held his wine glass in toast, and the white wine almost sparkled. He took a deep breath. ‘On Thanksgiving, we list all the things we’re grateful for, and I can safely say I’m really grateful for the whole year with you guys.’ He caught a glimpse of a few smiles. ‘It was an awesome adventure, and I’m glad Rip convinced me to go with him, because if it weren’t for him, I would never have met Helen of Troy or young Obama, and I would never have met you and formed those beautiful friendships. I love our group chat.’ Now he smiled widely himself.

Nate chimed in, ‘Hell yeah!’ Pride glistened in Ray’s eyes; it was his invention, after all. Charlie, forced to join the dinner by the joint forces of Sara, Nora, and Ray, scoffed. The Union Jack t-shirt she was wearing emphasised her statement. Thinking his actions passed as unnoticed, Mick nibbled on the sweet potatoes.

‘So yeah. It was one of the best years of my life.’ He looked at his boyfriend, sitting on his right. He saw softness. Felt overwhelmed with even more emotions. ‘Secondly, I’m thankful for you, Rick, and Cisco for accidentally introducing us. I really admire you for dealing with your life the way you did and helping me figure out what I really wanted. You’re just—you’re amazing. I love you. And you guys too. It was amazing.’

Rick stood up and kissed him, murmuring ‘Love you too’ against his lips.

The Legends, seated round the table and the kitchen island, clapped, and then took a sip of their beverage of choice (wine, mostly, beer for Mick and apple juice for Zari) before Ava picked up the carving knife and as the host, carved up the large turkey Ray and Nate successfully prepared on the Waverider.

Watching her, Sara said, ‘We’ll miss you, Wally. You helped us a lot, and you make a great movie night companion.’

‘Damn right, bro,’ added Nate and walked round the table to Wally’s seat. ‘Come here.’ He hugged him. Then he quickly came back and kissed Ray on the top of his head as he walked past him.

‘It really was great, Wally,’ said Zari, and then grinned. ‘But at least I’ll keep all my high scores now.’

‘I’ll come back from time to time and make sure to beat all of them.’

She cast an unimpressed glance his way, but a smile played at her lips. ‘Not fair.’

‘Life’s hardly ever fair, love’ John shouted from the kitchen island, where he was sitting with Gary, perhaps also referring to his current situation. He liked being here no more than Charlie.

Ava was done with the turkey and put down the knife with a soft clink. Smells and steam wafted from the inside of it, filling the room with flavour and the proper atmosphere. ‘Let’s eat up,’ she said, and of course, Mick was the first to reach for the meat. He snatched a whole leg for himself. He topped his plate with mashed potatoes and even some of Nora’s casserole.

Wally went for the macaroni and cheese pan straightaway, saving the turkey for later. Seeing him, Rick lit up in delight; he had prepared the pasta. Wally had to admit he didn’t know how to cook many meals, but his mac and cheese were perfect. ‘Good choice,’ he said.

‘Bon appétit!’ said Ray before he dug in, with dignity, of course. Unlike Mick or Zari.

Wally hesitated before he started eating. He promised to tell them all before he left, and Rick agreed they would, and there was no better moment than now. ‘One more thing,’ he cleared his throat. ‘I know I’ve been really secretive about my relationship the entire time—’

‘That’s an understatement,’ Nate said, and Zari hummed in agreement.

‘To be fair, I don’t know why he made such fuss about my name, so don’t blame me.’ Rick looked round a little bit guiltily. The bowl of mashed potatoes landed on the table next to him, so he scooped up a ladleful.

‘I wanted to blow your minds,’ Wally replied. ‘Like I said, his name’s different on this Earth, but not so much. I thought you’d’ve guessed it by now.’

Nate looked at Rick. ‘Okay, so you’re a retired superhero with the name Rick.’ Then his eyes landed on Ray and Sara. ‘Let me think. I can do this,’ he lifted up his finger in concentration. ‘So Rick is short for Patrick in your case, but it can also be short for Richard. Other nicknames for Richard can be Ricky or Ritchie or, well, Dick, which is similar to Rick. And I know only one superhero with the name of Dick—’

‘You have thought about this before,’ Zari stated.

He smirked. ‘Gideon and I have, yeah.’

With a fork of mashed potatoes paused mid-air, he rolled his eyes. ‘For God’s sake, my name’s Rick Grayson, now let’s eat.’

Sara almost choked on the turkey. She had said she knew Batman, so Wally suspected she had also met this Earth’s Robin at some point, be it under the mask or as Bruce Wayne’s protégée at one charity gala or another.

He winked at her. Then he finally started on the mac and cheese.

Chapter Text



gayforray: who’s still emotional

Lancelot: Dude, it’s 3 am

gayforray: 2:49 am

gayforray: I can’t stop thinking about it

notbarryallen: about what

QueenZee: you’re finally talking to us

notbarryallen: we’re in tokyo

QueenZee: we went to see fantastic beasts

notbarryallen: without me????? it was out a week ago

Lancelot: Well you should’ve said

notbarryallen: kidding

notbarryallen: before I left I had gideon upload all new movies till 2020 on a memory stick

QueenZee: gasp

gayforray: cheater

MamaWaverider: He was very persuasive.

MiniDarhk: I like that, breaking the rules

Trenchcoat: You’re up all night because of a film

Lancelot: Why are you up

Trenchcoat: Sex

gare-bear: We’re eating Chinese takeout in bed and watching The Exorcist

Trenchcoat: But we did have sex too

MiniDarhk: no you can’t just gloss over that

Lancelot: Busted

MamaWaverider: I did tell you he was definitely soft.

gayforray: nice

gayforray: but why do you keep changing the subject I can’t believe Credence is a fucking DUMBLEDORE

notbarryallen: 😮

QueenZee: we been knew

gayforray: well you maybe

rayofsunshine: The scenes with young Dumbledore and Grindelwald were so sad.

gayforray: yeah, why can’t they just be gay and happy

QueenZee: because if they were there wouldn’t even be any movies to make

MiniDarhk: wake up

gayforray: don’t tell me to wake up

MiniDarhk: bish you know I’m right

rayofsunshine: I agree, but it was still sad.

Lancelot: But baby nifflers, am I right

gare-bear: Their cuteness killed me

grunt: I want to adopt one

QueenZee: because they’re cute or because they steal everything

grunt: both

notbarryallen: mood

Lancelot: Why can’t we ever meet a nice, cute fugitive like from Newt’s suitcase

gayforray: I’d keep it

rayofsunshine: I’d love to keep a Bowtruckle as a pet.

gayforray: we’d raise it together

grunt: I still want a niffler

QueenZee: Gideon, can you make pets

MamaWaverider: Alas, I can’t produce any living organisms.

QueenZee: pity

notbarryallen: I also want a niffler thanks

MiniDarhk: we all do

Trenchcoat: I don’t

gare-bear: I do

QueenZee: can you at least make a stuffed niffler

QueenZee: Gideon

MamaWaverider: That I can do, Miss Tomaz.

MiniDarhk: great we’ll take three

notbarryallen: you’re going hardcore

MiniDarhk: 🙄

trickstergoddess: what the fuck is going on

MiniDarhk: ask nate

gayforray: can’t a guy have movie feelings

trickstergoddess: why now

Lancelot: Don’t you know, we never sleep

MiniDarhk: neither do you

trickstergoddess: yeah im either drinking or hungover

grunt: come drink with me

rayofsunshine: But it’s 3 AM.

grunt: so

grunt: we’re not sleeping because of your boyfriend

gayforray: ok forgiVE ME I’M SHOOK

QueenZee: sleep on it, maybe you’ll dream about young Dumbledore

gayforray: yes please

notbarryallen: 😂

rayofsunshine: 👀

gayforray: Jude Law is hot af

Lancelot: I agree

QueenZee: I can’t unsee Dumbledore as the old guy

gayforray: oh I can

notbarryallen: crush

gayforray: I’m not talking to you anymore

notbarryallen: [image attached: sunsetintokyo.jpeg]

notbarryallen: [image attached: myman.jpeg]

QueenZee: is that right now

notbarryallen: it’s 5 pm here

gayforray: time zones are wild

MiniDarhk: says a time traveler

gayforray: you’re a time traveler

notbarryallen: I found something on tumblr

notbarryallen: [image attached: screenshot352.png]

QueenZee: Nate that’s you

gayforray: I feel attacked

MiniDarhk: it’s true

Lancelot: Wally has a tumblr?

QueenZee: asking the right questions 👏

notbarryallen: I love memes

rayofsunshine: Surprisingly.

MiniDarhk: haha

MiniDarhk: we should go to sleep

notbarryallen: you mean you, I’m going to a club

QueenZee: hey

Lancelot: A good way to start your self-discovery journey

notbarryallen: right

notbarryallen: this is tokyo, man

MiniDarhk: you were there on wednesday

notbarryallen: that was in 1951

grunt: I’d go again

rayofsunshine: Mick, did you really tell Honda about lizards?

grunt: where have you heard that

rayofsunshine: From Charlie, who told me you told her you told him.

grunt: what

gayforray: is Mick the reason we have Godzilla

gayforray: awesome

trickstergoddess: bloody right you are

notbarryallen: wow, this is really wild

QueenZee: always is, Wally

notbarryallen: oh no this is Rick, Wally’s in the bathroom

Lancelot: So you took his phone, juicy

notbarryallen: call it natural curiosity

QueenZee: so, robin 👀

notbarryallen: what

notbarryallen: I’m not him anymore

QueenZee: so you want us to buy the whole jitters barista gig

notbarryallen: you’re nosy

MiniDarhk: we’ve been told, now spill

notbarryallen: all I know about you is that Rory can eat a lot and you’re all dating each other

rayofsunshine: That’s a good definition.

MiniDarhk: SO you agree on the poly ship thing

rayofsunshine: ???

Lancelot: I met Bruce Wayne once

Trenchcoat: Me too, we shagged

notbarryallen: didn’t everyone

Lancelot: True that

QueenZee: you must know some dirty secrets on Wally

notbarryallen: I’m not saying

gayforray: come on

gayforray: how did you even meet

MiniDarhk: he wouldn’t tell us anything

Lancelot: Not even on Thanksgiving dinner

notbarryallen: prying secrets from my bf, my my

MiniDarhk: no we did nothing of the sort

QueenZee: can’t really blame us though

Lancelot: Hey, Wally

notbarryallen: I’m kidding

notbarryallen: and I’m out cause unlike you I have a life now

gayforray: we have a life

QueenZee: keep dreaming

Lancelot: Ava and I have a life, we go on restaurant dates like other people

QueenZee: and who’s talking about movies at 3 am

QueenZee: hint: all of us

Trenchcoat: Not me

MiniDarhk: cause you’re watching a movie

notbarryallen: just 👏 go 👏 to 👏 sleep 👏

Lancelot: Hey, I’m the captain

Lancelot: But he’s right, we should go to sleep

gayforray: Gideon, tell me if I do dream about Dumbledore

QueenZee: seriously

MamaWaverider: Of course, Dr Heywood.

MiniDarhk: did you see a wink in there

MamaWaverider: Wouldn’t you like to know.

rayofsunshine: Hey, what about me?

gayforray: you can be in that dream too, I guess

notbarryallen: lol

notbarryallen: rick: how the fuck they ever get anything done is beyond my comprehension

notbarryallen: me: without me they don’t

QueenZee: hEY

gayforray: we’re brilliant

MiniDarhk: we’re better than you

notbarryallen: keep living in under that illusion

QueenZee: hEY

Chapter Text



animalgirl: [image attached: wedding1.jpeg]

animalgirl: [image attached: wedding2.jpeg]

animalgirl: [image attached: wedding3.jpeg]

animalgirl: You asked for pictures, so here they are.

QueenZee: three weeks ago

QueenZee: but wow you’re beautiful

Lancelot: Damn

grunt: yeah

gayforray: I don’t even know what to say

Lancelot: Your husband is gorgeous too

trickstergoddess: so youre the one whose face im wearing

animalgirl: You’re Charlie, right? They told me about you.

trickstergoddess: if youre expecting an apology youre not getting one, its not my fault

trickstergoddess: and ive got used to wearing this mug

animalgirl: I know it’s not your fault. And for what it’s worth, it’s a nice face.

QueenZee: 👏

grunt: gorgeous

notbarryallen: crush, I’m telling you

gayforray: are you still awake

notbarryallen: in a different club but yeah

notbarryallen: did you dream about dumbledore

gayforray: no :(

Jaxon: u saw fbtcog too

QueenZee: yesterday

Jaxon: i went with carly last week

notbarryallen: not you too

Jaxon: u should’ve said

notbarryallen: I get it it’s my fault

QueenZee: what time is it in Tokyo now

notbarryallen: 1 am

Jaxon: ur in tokyo huh

notbarryallen: with rick

Jaxon: did you tell them

QueenZee: Rick told us himself, Wally was being a bitch

notbarryallen: ;)

notbarryallen: what time is it in america

gayforray: 11:11

gayforray: make a wish

MissTimeBureau: I wish you stopped being childish idiots.

MiniDarhk: you’re supposed to keep the wish to yourself

Lancelot: Haha, really, Ava

MissTimeBureau: It’s true most of the time and you know it.

Lancelot: Then you must be glad you’re dating such a reasonable adult ;)

MissTimeBureau: I’m not so sure about the “reasonable adult” at times.

Lancelot: But you love me

MissTimeBureau: I do <3

animalgirl: You’re sweet.

trickstergoddess: I wanna vomit

notbarryallen: can I make a wish too

Jaxon: id say it doesnt count

gayforray: it’s 11:12 now anyway

gayforray: you should go to sleep

notbarryallen: you’re like the fourth person to tell me that

MiniDarhk: then it’s true

animalgirl: So, Charlie and Mick?

trickstergoddess: whats to say, we have a connection

grunt: that’s right

Lancelot: Wait, is that for real

gayforray: 👀

rayofsunshine: Did something happen?

trickstergoddess: did say he was mine

MiniDarhk: but that was a… joke?

notbarryallen: wow question mark

trickstergoddess: you really are nosy

MamaWaverider: I know about everything that happens on this ship, so naturally I know about this too, do you want me to give you the details?

MiniDarhk: yes

gayforray: yes

Lancelot: Yes

trickstergoddess: shut up gideon

gayforray: we should write down some directives for this chat

gayforray: 1 the legends are nosy and you can’t keep a secret from them

gayforray: 2 the legends have no sense of privacy

MiniDarhk: 3 the legends are colossal idiots who do nothing but watch movies and talk about them

QueenZee: 4 the legends love food and gossip

notbarryallen: who else is singing new rules right now

Lancelot: You mean that Dua Lipa song

notbarryallen: and if you’re under him you ain’t getting over him 👌

gayforray: relatable

QueenZee: 👀

trickstergoddess: hhmmmm ray that good

gayforray: curious are you

gayforray: 5 the legends would all sleep with each other if they could

MiniDarhk: I mean, we can

Lancelot: Not this again

notbarryallen: I have a suggestion

QueenZee: I’m worried

notbarryallen: play spin the bottle

rayofsunshine: It’s 11:16 AM.

notbarryallen: you don’t have to be drunk to do it

MiniDarhk: you say that now when you’re not here and don’t have to do it

notbarryallen: I would

notbarryallen: it’s just kissing, right, no big deal

Lancelot: We’re not doing that, what are we, teenagers

Trenchcoat: You were a teenager two weeks ago

MissTimeBureau: Don’t remind me of that.

gare-bear: Is it just me or are you getting along

trickstergoddess: where did you all come from

QueenZee: they love to read this and pretend they don’t

QueenZee: Slytherins

gare-bear: I’m not a Slytherin

QueenZee: you’re just the hufflepuff boyfriend but they are

MiniDarhk: hiss hiss motherfuckers 🐍

QueenZee: who else is a slyth

gayforray: Mick

grunt: and charlie

MiniDarhk: we have the majority, good

gare-bear: @gayforray at least there’s two of us

gayforray: yay

rayofsunshine: And I’m the only Ravenclaw. That’s not fair.

MamaWaverider: If it’s any consolation, I would be in the Ravenclaw house too if I were a human.

rayofsunshine: Thanks, Gideon.

Trenchcoat: The directives really are on point

MiniDarhk: yup we’re talking about movies again

MiniStein: I’m a Ravenclaw too!

trickstergoddess: who are you

MiniStein: Oh, I’m Lily Stein, my father used to be a Legend.

rayofsunshine: I miss him.

Jaxon: yeah i miss gray too

QueenZee: what a day, everyone’s here today

notbarryallen: [image attached: goinghome.jpeg]

MiniStein: That’s your boyfriend, right?

rayofsunshine: You haven’t met him?

MiniStein: No, I’ve been busy.

notbarryallen: yeah that’s him

notbarryallen: he got drunk

Lancelot: And you didn’t have your speedster cocktail

notbarryallen: No, just like 8 shots

trickstergoddess: right you cant get drunk on regular alcohol

notbarryallen: I love it and hate it at the same time

MiniDarhk: tbh that’s mick too

grunt: I definitely love it

QueenZee: how can you drink every day

trickstergoddess: it’s a way of life sweetheart

gayforray: “sweetheart”

notbarryallen: I’m wheezing

grunt: I thought you hated each other

QueenZee: we do

gare-bear: John, why don’t you call me that too

Trenchcoat: Do you want me to

QueenZee: :o

gare-bear: Nsdafndkssf yes

gayforray: hey sugarbear

gare-bear: What

rayofsunshine: He clearly meant me.

notbarryallen: lol

rayofsunshine: What is it, pumpkin?

gayforray: should we call each other that in front of everyone now

Lancelot: Please don’t

MissTimeBureau: It might be fun, honey.

MiniDarhk: 😂

MiniDarhk: zee zee 👀

QueenZee: facepalms

QueenZee: no I’m not doing this

gayforray: yes, you are, zee zee

gare-bear: Bgjdifns I’m sorry

trickstergoddess: this is hilarious

trickstergoddess: @grunt im calling you mickey now

grunt: no you’re not

Trenchcoat: I called him that first

grunt: you called me potato head

Trenchcoat: Oh I called you many things, muppet

gare-bear: This isn’t what I think it is, right

grunt: fuck no

Trenchcoat: Wouldn’t’ve said it better

gayforray: I was wrong

MiniDarhk: ?

gayforray: not everyone would sleep with everyone

Lancelot: You never know

MissTimeBureau: I wouldn’t, nor would Zari.

QueenZee: thanks

MiniDarhk: you’re ruining it honey

QueenZee: 😗

Jaxon: lmao

gayforray: I know

animalgirl: You’ve gone wild since I’m away, darlings.

gayforray: 👏

QueenZee: there’s no one to keep us on a leash anymore

Lancelot: Really

Lancelot: No, I’m kidding, but we have work to do

gayforray: okay mom

MissTimeBureau: Mummy.

notbarryallen: omg

MiniDarhk: go to sleep, wally

Chapter Text



gayforray: guys guys guys

gayforray: Hank is on board for an inspection

gayforray: hide the mess, look presentable, don’t be naked

notbarryallen: oof

QueenZee: got it

MiniDarhk: I love how “don’t be naked” is a relevant request

Lancelot: About that

QueenZee: I see, you were at Ava’s

Lancelot: Shut up

notbarryallen: exPOSED


gayforray: wow, caps lock

Lancelot: 😏😍

MiniDarhk: hey it’s probably not a good idea for him to see me here

QueenZee: you’re right

MiniDarhk: I’m supposed to be locked up

notbarryallen: lol I kinda forgot about that

trickstergoddess: why were you supposed to be locked up

MiniDarhk: long story

MiniDarhk: ava, I need a portal

MissTimeBureau: Uh, yeah, right away.

rayofsunshine: What are you going to do?

MiniDarhk: goodbye team, I’m going to jail

QueenZee: byeeee

gayforray: what did I say about being naked

gayforray: [image attached: constantine.jpeg]

Lancelot: For real

gare-bear: 😍

gayforray: where are you anyway

gare-bear: 368 AD, catching another creature

Lancelot: Okay I’m decent, let’s pretend I didn’t ninja escape Ava’s office right in front of Hank two minutes ago

grunt: what did you do

Lancelot: That’s between Ava and me ;)

MiniDarhk: wow this is cozy

MiniDarhk: [image attached: cell.jpeg]

rayofsunshine: I had no idea the Bureau kept the creatures in such horrible conditions…

grunt: they’re monsters

rayofsunshine: Not all of them are. Nora isn’t a monster, she’s a good person.

MissTimeBureau: Tell that to the rest of the Bureau.

MiniDarhk: ava

MiniDarhk: act like you despise me so it’s not suspicious

MissTimeBureau: That won’t be so hard.

gayforray: ohoho

QueenZee: hey

MissTimeBureau: It’s really not so hard to pretend I don’t like any of you, you know.

Lancelot: But you do

MissTimeBureau: I do. Except for Constantine.

Trenchcoat: Will you ever get over the fact I shagged Sara

MissTimeBureau: No.

trickstergoddess: so thats how it is

notbarryallen: so how’s it going

gayforray: dad wants to see a mission

notbarryallen: condolences

QueenZee: how are you

notbarryallen: in bed ;)

MiniDarhk: so am I but not in the good way

gayforray: are you still in Tokyo

notbarryallen: we’re staying for a month

rayofsunshine: Nice!

MiniDarhk: cute taco girl, what does she look like

MiniDarhk: cause I think she just brought me a stupid romance novel

MissTimeBureau: Yes, that’s Mona. She works here as a caretaker for the creatures now.

gayforray: like Hagrid 👀

MissTimeBureau: Kind of like Hagrid, if you put it that way.

gare-bear: Cool

MiniDarhk: no flirting with mona, gary

Trenchcoat: Why, I don’t mind

Lancelot: Really

Lancelot: Who am I kidding, it’s you

Lancelot: Anyway, we’re taking Hank to 1927 Paris

gare-bear: You’re going to the city of love and I’m stuck here :(

QueenZee: oh we’re not going anywhere

MiniDarhk: sidelined?

rayofsunshine: Yup, they don’t want us to cause a scene.

MiniDarhk: oh ray I’m sorry

trickstergoddess: this is a fun company

trickstergoddess: [image attached: losers.jpeg]

rayofsunshine: You learned how to take selfies? Nice.

MiniDarhk: I’m a good teacher

trickstergoddess: this modern technology is useful sometimes

QueenZee: yeah it is 😂

QueenZee: [video attached: americanaccent.mp4]

MiniDarhk: lol why are you trying to learn that

trickstergoddess: gotta pretend to be that amaya bird in front of nate’s daddy

MiniDarhk: welcome to my world

gare-bear: Is that John speaking in the background

Trenchcoat: /in a terrible accent/ yeah that’s right darlin

MiniDarhk: we doing a pet name battle again

QueenZee: NO

rayofsunshine: Why, that’s a cute idea, sweetie.

QueenZee: did you call my gf sweetie

MiniDarhk: 💜💙

gayforray: me confused

MiniDarhk: enjoy paris, hon

notbarryallen: lmao

notbarryallen: (Rick again) you’re weird

rayofsunshine: We’re proud to be weird.

grunt: you maybe

QueenZee: does this mean you found something

grunt: we found hemingway and the weird guy who paints the melting clocks

rayofsunshine: Salvador Dali? Oh man.

gayforray: save me

rayofsunshine: Baby, are you in danger?

gayforray: no but hank’s fangirling over hemingway so hard

rayofsunshine: Ah, you told me about that.

gayforray: he’s gonna ruin the mission

QueenZee: you don’t know that

gayforray: yeah I do

gayforray: Dali drew the creature and now they all want to go on a hunt

MissTimeBureau: Oh no.

Trenchcoat: Do you know which creature is it?

Lancelot: It’s Dali, so not really

Lancelot: Anyway, we’re going hunting!

MiniDarhk: I’m reading this awful book

MiniDarhk: it’s oddly captivating

QueenZee: what’s it about

MiniDarhk: love

notbarryallen: duh

notbarryallen: I wanna see dali’s drawing

gayforray: [image attached: drawing.jpeg]

notbarryallen: weird

trickstergoddess: its a minotaur

Trenchcoat: Course it is

Trenchcoat: I know what to do with the bad boy

gayforray: great, come quickly

MiniDarhk: trust the legends to liveblog every mission

QueenZee: mood

Rayofsunshine: That’s exactly why I created this chat in the first place, so we could communicate in trouble.

Lancelot: Guys, Hank got hurt, we’re coming back on the ship

QueenZee: shit

rayofsunshine: How bad?

gayforray: a slash in the shoulder

MamaWaverider: He’ll be as good as new right away, Dr Heywood.

gayforray: thanks, Gideon

gayforray: we have to stop the Minotaur

Trenchcoat: Working on it

MiniDarhk: speaking of trouble

QueenZee: 👀

MissTimeBureau: There was a power failure and we’re stuck in this cell.

Lancelot: You and Nora? You got that, Aves

MissTimeBureau: Me, Nora, and Mona.

QueenZee: ah

gayforray: what happened

MiniDarhk: it’s my fault, I

MiniDarhk: I slipped and broke the mechanisms using some sort of power I didn’t know I had

MissTimeBureau: Come and help us?

MiniDarhk: mona keeps asking who we’re texting and how come I have a phone

QueenZee: yikes

rayofsunshine: I’ll find a way to help you! I’m great with electronics.

MiniDarhk: thx

notbarryallen: why do you always get yourselves into more trouble, I don’t understand

gayforray: we’re not speedsters to outrun things, Wally

QueenZee: like you didn’t get into trouble

Lancelot: Saving people, hunting things, the family business

Lancelot: It always goes wrong but that’s what we’re good at

rayofsunshine: Did you just use a Supernatural reference?

gare-bear: She did

Lancelot: Okay chill out

gayforray: it fits

trickstergoddess: what are you on about

gayforray: we have yet to introduce you to our TV shows

trickstergoddess: loki save me

MiniDarhk: haha

MiniDarhk: ava pretending to hate me and yelling at mona for bringing a book is kinda hot

Lancelot: She’s mine

MiniDarhk: I’m just stating a fact

trickstergoddess: you having fun in that prison

MiniDarhk: kinda

MiniDarhk: it just got good

QueenZee: how so

MiniDarhk: [video attached: happybirthday.mp4]

rayofsunshine: It’s Ava’s birthday?

QueenZee: happy birthday @MissTimeBureau

notbarryallen: @MissTimeBureau happy bday 😄

gayforray: so that’s why Sara was wearing lingerie

Lancelot: You saw that???

gayforray: might’ve

gayforray: you have nothing to be ashamed of, that’s for sure

Lancelot: Kill me now

rayofsunshine: Happy birthday, Ava!

MissTimeBureau: Why.

QueenZee: rude much

MissTimeBureau: I don’t like birthdays and I don’t like being locked up here.

MiniDarhk: I’m having fun

gayforray: cause you love gossip

MiniDarhk: shrug

trickstergoddess: this is fun to read

QueenZee: and this is fun to watch [video attached: research.mp4]

MiniDarhk: you’re gonna newt scamander the minotaur

gayforray: :o

gayforray: yeah baby

MiniDarhk: mona would love to see this

QueenZee: so you’re friends now

gare-bear: I know, she’s great

gare-bear: She’s such a Hufflepuff sunshine

Lancelot: Newt Scamander

MiniDarhk: yeaH

gare-bear: You could add her to this?

notbarryallen: another crush 👀

rayofsunshine: She doesn’t even know us.

gayforray: she knows me, Gary and Ava

gayforray: and you love adding new people

rayofsunshine: That’s true.

MiniDarhk: funny thing, ray

MiniDarhk: she ships us so hard and I’m internally wheezing

rayofsunshine: OMG, what?

MiniDarhk: should I tell her

MiniDarhk: about you and nate and me and zari

Lancelot: No, let’s make this interesting

QueenZee: wicked

MissTimeBureau: She’s an unstoppable force.

MiniDarhk: who just opened a bottle of wine so I guess we’re good

notbarryallen: sounds wild

rayofsunshine: So you don’t need me to save you anymore?

MiniDarhk: we do but you can take your time

MissTimeBureau: How’s the Minotaur?

gayforray: asleep

gayforray: we pulled a Newt and it worked

Trenchcoat: Thanks to who

gayforray: it was a team effort

Lancelot: 😂

Lancelot: So, Ava, now that we’re done here, can we continue where we left off

MissTimeBureau: I’m still stuck here so unless you come and rescue me…?

MiniDarhk: but we’re having cake

Lancelot: My cake?

MissTimeBureau: It’s from you?

Lancelot: Yeah, babe <3

Lancelot: And well, we’ll see what I can do ;)

MiniDarhk: sorry ray

rayofsunshine: Nah, I’m used to being everyone’s second choice by now.

gayforray: you’re always my first choice <3

rayofsunshine: <3

gayforray: pizza party?

QueenZee: yes please

MiniDarhk: wait for us

gayforray: not fair, you didn’t even do anything

MiniDarhk: we successfully hid from your dad

gayforray: good point

Lancelot: Okay, I’m opening a portal to the bureau

MissTimeBureau: Yay.

Lancelot: And then I can finally give you that birthday present

gayforray: pizza party first, sex later, please

Lancelot: Ugh fine

Chapter Text

‘Seriously, who do you keep texting, guys?’ Mona asked, looking at Nora and Ava, both focused on the conversation on their phones. ‘And how come Nora gets to have a phone, you didn’t even want me to give her a book.’

‘About that—’ Ava started, but Nora interrupted her, ‘Let’s just stop beating around the bush, Ava.’

They exchanged a few looks, having an entire conversation. That was strange. Too familiar.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

‘I’m not really locked up here. It’s just an act for Hank Heywood,’ Nora answered, and that was honestly the last thing Mona would think of.

‘W—what? Really?’

‘Yeah, I live on the Waverider, with the Legends. We’re texting the Legends, right, Ava?’ Nora turned to the Director, who frowned at her disapprovingly. And then she relaxed.

‘Yeah, there’s a group chat Ray created. They use it more often than they should if we’re being honest.’ She walked over to the bunk and sat down next to Nora.

‘But it’s so great.’

‘If Constantine isn’t in it.’

Nora rolled her eyes. ‘Come on, John isn’t that bad. He’s nice when you get him to open.’ Ava raised her eyebrow in slight disgust. ‘Not what I meant and you know it.’

Mona asked, ‘You know John Constantine?’

‘That’s the only thing you want to ask about after we tell you all this?’ Nora replied and then typed something on her mobile.

‘If the Legends have a group chat I know I already love them.’ Mona excitedly moved to sit next to Nora on the bunk, trying to see if she could see some of it. ‘But really, you know Constantine?’

‘He’s a Legend, lives with us.’

‘Wow.’ Mona smiled in awe.

‘How do you know about him?’ Ava asked, leaning forward so she could see her behind Nora. She tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

‘Really, Ava? He’s like the Beyoncé of the mystical world.’

Nora nudged her arm. ‘Then you’re gonna love this,’ she said. ‘He’s actually dating Gary the goofy idiot.’

If she were drinking something, she’d spit it right out. ‘Gary? This Gary?’

Ava shook her head. ‘I still don’t like that.’

‘Okay, well, that’s a bit of a shock. I didn’t think Gary dated anyone, or that he was, you know—’

‘Bi,’ Ava offered, knowing what Mona was about to say.

Nora took both of her shoulders in her hands and gently guided her towards herself. ‘You didn’t like him, did you?’ She looked her in the eye.

Mona cocked her head. ‘Well, he did ask me to spend Thanksgiving with him…’

‘Oh no, honey,’ Nora pulled her in for a hug. ‘It’ll get better though, I swear.’

She sighed. ‘I guess… But I have one more question now,’ she pulled away, ‘when you live on the Waverider, are you and Ray actually secretly together?’

‘There’s nothing between Ray and me.’

‘Sure there is! You’re like, my OTP.’

‘Okay, I’m flattered, but seriously, we’re not together.’ Nora’s phone buzzed repeatedly, so she let go of Mona and unlocked it. With a smirk, she typed two texts. Ava was ignoring them altogether; she was replying to the birthday messages she got.

Mona took that as an opportunity to get up and bring the bottle of rosé that came with the birthday cake. ‘I need to know more, and I think opening this bottle is perfect for that.’

Ava looked up. ‘Yes, please.’

‘If you think you can convince me that I have feelings for Ray, you’re wrong.’

Mona unscrewed the bottle—good thing it wasn’t corked. ‘We’ll see about that.’

Chapter Text



gayforray added monalisa to World’s Biggest Poly SHIP


MiniDarhk: it’s HERE

gare-bear: Hiiiii

monalisa: hey guys 👋

monalisa: I’m mona in case you don’t know me

gayforray: welcome

MissTimeBureau: Oh no.

notbarryallen: wow more new people

monalisa: so you’re the legends

Lancelot: Yup, that’s us

gare-bear: I’m an intern legend

monalisa: gary?

Trenchcoat: You must be the time bureau bird my boyfriend keeps flirting with

monalisa: so I wasn’t reading it wrong 👀

QueenZee: I see you’re already one of us

gayforray: eyes emoji squad

gare-bear: I couldn’t help it

monalisa: @Trenchcoat nice to meet you again, well, not meet, but you know

QueenZee: you’re famous

MiniDarhk: she stans you

Trenchcoat: She what

gayforray: ahh, urban dictionary

monalisa: so hey is it too much to ask if I want an introduction cause all I heard about you was from gary

QueenZee: he was probably exaggerating

MiniDarhk: I’m nora, obviously

MissTimeBureau: Ava. And I’m still your boss.

gayforray: mine too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

notbarryallen: I see you learned how to google that

notbarryallen: I’m wally and I’m an ex-legend

Jaxon: its jax & same here

gayforray: this is Nate

gayforray: my name must be confusing haha

monalisa: it IS

MiniDarhk: this is where it gets funnier

QueenZee: I’ve been waiting for it

QueenZee: I’m Zari btw

Lancelot: Sara, the captain

grunt: mick rory

Trenchcoat: You know me, love

trickstergoddess: im charlie and im a shifter stuck with the face of nates ex

monalisa: aww I always wanted to meet a shapeshifter

monalisa: also wait does that mean you’re harboring a magical creature the bureau doesn’t know about

MissTimeBureau: Shh. This stays between us.

QueenZee: where’s Ray, anyway

MiniDarhk: ?

gayforray: he went to star city to get something, idk, he was kinda shady

monalisa: I bet it was sth for nora

trickstergoddess: possible

MiniDarhk: okay, ray and I aren’t dating, mona

monalisa: but you have feelings for him

gayforray: everyone has feelings for him

QueenZee: the saga

monalisa: nate you still haven’t explained

gayforray: yeah we’re dating

monalisa: :o :o :o

MiniDarhk: see

Lancelot: It was a running joke until it happened

QueenZee: you should’ve seen this chat at the beginning

QueenZee: ALSO

QueenZee: guess who Nora is actually dating

monalisa: ava?

grunt: ava’s dating blondie

Lancelot: That would be me

monalisa: this is crazy

MiniDarhk: sorry ava but… lol no

MiniDarhk: [image attached: nora&zari.jpeg]

notbarryallen: adorable

monalisa: I’m speechless

gayforray: that’s rare

Lancelot: We’re gay and we’re proud of it

rayofsunshine: There’s not a single straight legend.

rayofsunshine: Hello, I’m back. And there’s a new member. Hi!

monalisa: hi ray

QueenZee: we also love movies and tv shows

grunt: it’s all they ever talk about

Trenchcoat: And if they don’t, they’re watching them

gayforray: we, John, we

gayforray: I can’t believe doctor who copied us

MiniDarhk: right

Lancelot: How dare they

QueenZee: they even used the weird roots and the threat that wasn’t a witch

monalisa: you’re talking about the last episode?

gayforray: yup

gayforray: we were on a case involving witch hunts a month ago

MiniDarhk: speaking of movies

MiniDarhk: sara called you newt scamander yesterday

monalisa: that’s so sweet

gare-bear: I’m calling you that now

monalisa: ndksnf ok

monalisa: did you notice there is sth between ray and nora tho, like, for real

notbarryallen: ages ago

QueenZee: look at the name of the group and then come to talk to us

monalisa: 😂

MiniDarhk: you’re really going for it, huh

Trenchcoat: What did I say two weeks ago

Lancelot: You’re just weird and we’re not listening to you

grunt: ha burn

gare-bear: It’s gonna be okay

Trenchcoat: Ta

trickstergoddess: wanna have a pint, mick

grunt: fuck yeah

Trenchcoat: I want a pint too

grunt: get your own, weasel

MiniDarhk: @monalisa we kinda agreed we all would do each other and that’s a fact

notbarryallen: you should get drunk and play spin the bottle

QueenZee: stop with that already

QueenZee: aren’t you supposed to be asleep

notbarryallen: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

monalisa: it’s 11 am

notbarryallen: I’m in tokyo

monalisa: the home of anime

notbarryallen: are you my soulmate

Lancelot: Haha

gayforray: thought rick was your soulmate

notbarryallen: I can have two

monalisa: just as ray can date two people 👀

MiniDarhk: mona come on

QueenZee: and the shipping agenda starts anew

rayofsunshine: You’re weirdly okay with this.

QueenZee: it’s called being open-minded

gayforray: speaking of

gayforray: is it just me or is there sexual tension between Z and Charlie

QueenZee: there is no sexual tension between me and anyone

trickstergoddess: youre onto something mate

notbarryallen: let’s forget about you being ace for a bit

notbarryallen: I think there was something

QueenZee: what have I done

Lancelot: 😮 Mick, Charlie, Zari, Nora, Ray and Nate could be together in any combination and it would still make sense 😮

QueenZee: not you toooooo

grunt: interesting

MiniDarhk: indeed

gayforray: have we told you about the time we created a Beebo with our totems together and Mick was like, worst orgy ever

notbarryallen: I remember that 😂

MiniDarhk: I was there but

MiniDarhk: not that bit???

rayofsunshine: That was Sara, Nate, Wally, Zari, Amaya, and Mick, right?

gayforray: I thought you were there too

rayofsunshine: I was with Damien Darhk trying to save Nora from Mallus.

gayforray: right, that’s true

gayforray: Mick said I had girly hands

grunt: you do

MissTimeBureau: Mona, this is on you.

monalisa: sorry……,

monalisa: I la-la-love beebo

gare-bear: Me too!

gayforray: he’s got a blanket with beebo

QueenZee: two, John took one, remember

Trenchcoat: Sure, spill my dark secrets

MiniDarhk: gideon did

notbarryallen: john 👏 is 👏 soft 👏

Lancelot: Only when it comes to Gary

Trenchcoat: And it does a lot

gayforray: John ffs

MiniDarhk: he can make an innuendo out of anything, don’t you know that

monalisa: that’s useful information

MiniDarhk: mona: john’s #1 stan

gare-bear: So if it came down to it you’d be up for a threesome

monalisa: with you and john constantine? you fucking bet gary

Lancelot: That’s a good one

grunt: I like this one

QueenZee: calls for a celebration

Trenchcoat: Are you serious, love?

monalisa: halfway

MiniDarhk: explain

monalisa: they’re great but I haven’t really…done this before

Trenchcoat: Sex?

monalisa: with two people

Trenchcoat: It only makes it better

Lancelot: 👍

MissTimeBureau: Sara?

Lancelot: We all have a past

MissTimeBureau: I’m not going to ask.

MiniDarhk: for the record, ava and I are still the coolest people you met, right

monalisa: of course you are! you’re the best!

monalisa: but john comes third

QueenZee: ahem

QueenZee: no more innuendo material please

gayforray: you read it that way

Lancelot: Good point

Trenchcoat: Z’s right, so did I ;)

QueenZee: see

rayofsunshine: Erm, guys.

rayofsunshine: There’s something you don’t want to see, so don’t go into the kitchen.

gayforray: 👀

MamaWaverider: I believe Mr Rory and Charlie are engaging in intimate activities.

QueenZee: WHAT

notbarryallen: wow

gayforray: oh man

monalisa: in the kitchen?

MiniDarhk: @rayofsunshine now you know how we felt when you and nate did it

Lancelot: I’m pretty sure I remember you wanting to watch

MiniDarhk: so what

monalisa: 👀

gayforray: yeah I’m sorry

notbarryallen: otp got together

QueenZee: Wally 😂

notbarryallen: the john/gary/mona ot3 is next

Chapter Text



QueenZee: fuck my life

MiniDarhk: what happened

gayforray: you okay

QueenZee: I made a baguette with cream cheese and tomatoes and wanted to take it to my room

QueenZee: and you know how the top is round

QueenZee: it wiggled

QueenZee: and it fell on the floor cheese side down

notbarryallen: lol I didn’t see that coming

grunt: five second rule

monalisa: that rule is stupid, there’s germs on it now

QueenZee: also dirt, hair and god knows what else

Lancelot: Yikes

QueenZee: [image attached: yeet.jpeg]

monalisa: this bitch empty

gare-bear: You like vines 👀

MiniDarhk: I bet you’re wondering whether you like her or john more

gare-bear: how

MiniDarhk: warlock

notbarryallen: you know what I said

trickstergoddess: amen

gayforray: how was Mick

trickstergoddess: great

QueenZee: you were in the kitchen for two hours

grunt: I’m not gonna apologize

Lancelot: So are you like together or just casually fucking

trickstergoddess: im not gonna define anything yet

monalisa: so you can still be with zari

notbarryallen: mona is the true captain of all ships

QueenZee: we’re in functional relationships already, thanks

monalisa: I’m just saying

monalisa: I love love

gayforray: b99 reference?

monalisa: yes

gayforray: noice

monalisa: toit

rayofsunshine: Have you ever been to Comic Con?

monalisa: every year, buddy

QueenZee: what he means is, you have to come for game night

monalisa: you have game night? c o o l

Trenchcoat: It’s miserable

gare-bear: You love it and you know it

MiniDarhk: ^^

notbarryallen: john pretending he hates all the team antics is an eternal mood

Trenchcoat: I am NOT a team player

QueenZee: lies

QueenZee: where have you been each time we had a party?

gayforray: on it 👉👉

Trenchcoat: Fine, you got me alright

Lancelot: Team

Lancelot: Bones alert

rayofsunshine: Again?

monalisa: is that what you call a new mission

rayofsunshine: I wired John’s magical bones to Gideon so she’d give us an alert when the bones feel the presence of magic.

monalisa: cool

QueenZee: what is it

MiniDarhk: 9/11

QueenZee: oH

monalisa: are you thinking what I’m thinking

Lancelot: What are you thinking

monalisa: mothman was allegedly spotted at 9/11

gayforray: MOTHMAN

trickstergoddess: sounds like a bloody superhero name

notbarryallen: like batman

MiniDarhk: he has wings too

notbarryallen: batman doesn’t have wings tho

Lancelot: It says there was a winged creature with red eyes

monalisa: definitely mothman

QueenZee: where have you been this entire time

gayforray: you could’ve saved us a lot of time and injuries

rayofsunshine: But isn’t it weird that we get called to an official sighting of a creature? We usually stopped them causing damage to the timeline because they were out of the timeline.

Trenchcoat: Palmer’s got a point

grunt: who cares, let’s do this

trickstergoddess: youre eager to go out there

gayforray: are you a fan of Mothman, Mick?

grunt: none of your business, pretty

Lancelot: Alright kids, are you dressed

QueenZee: almost there 👍

rayofsunshine: Yes, mom.

MiniDarhk: it’s 2001, we don’t even have to change

QueenZee: I’m putting on wide leg jeans

gayforray: everyone wore those 

QueenZee: I didn’t cause I wasn’t born yet

MiniDarhk: same here

notbarryallen: you were born in 2002

monalisa: you guys are both from the future too? that’s so amazing

QueenZee: wouldn’t be if you saw it

monalisa: ok now I’m scared

monalisa: I also wanna see mothman

Lancelot: We’ll bring him to the Time Bureau once we capture him

rayofsunshine: What does Mothman eat?

monalisa: people

monalisa: and dogs

monalisa: but like with baba yaga, veal will be enough

QueenZee: great

QueenZee: so we’re on our way

gayforray: can we pull a newt on this one

monalisa: uhhhh don’t run or move quickly? and pacify him with meat

Lancelot: Time to be bait again

trickstergoddess: youve got to be joking

QueenZee: you’re supposed to know everything about all the creatures

trickstergoddess: never met mothman in my prison

MiniDarhk: that explains a lot

Lancelot: Wow 2001 brings back memories

notbarryallen: how old were you, 10

Lancelot: 14

Lancelot: Just started high school

rayofsunshine: I was just 20 and about to get my master’s. I remember hearing about the attack on the news…

gayforray: you never told me you got your first master’s in 20, baby

gayforray: didn’t know you could get any smarter 😍

rayofsunshine: Well…

gayforray: I was a senior in 2001

gayforray: all the flashbacks

gare-bear: Imagine if all met in high school

QueenZee: we’re from different time periods and of different age, not possible

gare-bear: No but just imagine

monalisa: like an au

MiniDarhk: dear lord

Lancelot: Ava and I would be the school enemies who’d fall in love in senior year

QueenZee: let’s play along with the family thing

QueenZee: nora would be the troubled outsider quickly adopted into our friend group

gayforray: Ray and I the geek bros who are definitely in love but don’t realize shit

MiniDarhk: john is the exchange program loser who doesn’t really fit in but sleeps with everyone

gare-bear: I’m the geek who’s 100% in love with him and thinks he doesn’t have a chance until one day

grunt: I’m the guy who always stays in detention

notbarryallen: jax and I are football jocks

rayofsunshine: He did actually play football.

Lancelot: I played soccer

gayforray: really 👀

Lancelot: We’d be a cool group

Lancelot: But let’s focus on the mission now, we have twenty minutes until the attack

monalisa: this is kinda sad when you think about it

gayforray: it’s the burden of time travel

rayofsunshine: It’s not always fun and games.

QueenZee: only most of the time

notbarryallen: lol you get the spirit

grunt: don’t see any mothmans yet

monalisa: have you brought the meat

monalisa: it should draw him to you

QueenZee: Mick has it

notbarryallen: make sure he doesn’t eat it 😁

grunt: not even I’d eat raw meat, kid

notbarryallen: k just in case

QueenZee: [image attached: mothman.mp4]

MiniDarhk: he here

monalisa: right at the center like the reports said

MiniDarhk: and he fast

monalisa: don’t run guys

QueenZee: he’s eating Mick’s meat

Lancelot: And people are watching

gare-bear: Just flash them later

gayforray: this just occurred to me

gayforray: did the bureau take inspiration in men in black

gare-bear: Yeah, we copied it all

gayforray: I approve

monalisa: so did you catch him?

Trenchcoat: About that

QueenZee: he saw something in the sky, screeched, and flew away

rayofsunshine: Oh boy, it’s coming.

Lancelot: Wait, is he…?

MiniDarhk: he’s trying to stop the plane 

gayforray: we… have to let that happen don’t we

Lancelot: We need a new plan

MiniDarhk: I never thought I’d be here and now

notbarryallen: ok I wouldn’t want to be in your position

grunt: where’s the hawk chick now when we need her

rayofsunshine: I’ll do it. I can fly in my suit.

monalisa: this is depressing you guys

monalisa: but there’s something about the legend of mothman no one knew and we now do

gare-bear: Yes, always focus on the good things

trickstergoddess: if this is what the future looks like I dont like it

QueenZee: wait till you see my future

MiniDarhk: this really got… dark

gayforray: can’t expect anything else from 9/11

MiniDarhk: high school au? anyone?

monalisa: unicorns

QueenZee: no they’re evil

monalisa: aw no, not unicorns

gare-bear: A unicorn bit off my nipple

gayforray: stop talking about that

monalisa: a unicorn did what

gare-bear: I’ll show you if you want

QueenZee: wow subtle

Trenchcoat: I taught him a thing of two, didn’t I

monalisa: see how it improved your mood

MiniDarhk: we don’t deserve you

monalisa: stop that, you’re making me blush

notbarryallen: 👀

monalisa: shut up, wally, we’re friends

QueenZee: already picked up our habits, I see

monalisa: I kind of get you now

monalisa: mothman updates?

gayforray: Ray got him, and well, you know what happens next

MiniDarhk: I can’t watch this

Jaxon: oh man ur at 9/11

Jaxon: yikes

Jaxon: also were u taking abt a high school au

QueenZee: Gary started it

QueenZee: I accidentally typed gay and well that summarizes it nicely too 😂

Jaxon: lmao

rayofsunshine: Guys, Sara’s here. She ran towards it.

Lancelot: I’m trying to help the victims and you could too

gayforray: we shouldn’t have separated

monalisa: unicorns?

QueenZee: you can’t help, sunshine

QueenZee: we’re going there

monalisa: ok…

notbarryallen: guys

notbarryallen: you ok

monalisa: ???

Jaxon: yo what happened

gayforray: we’re mostly fine but… Sara got hurt

gayforray: we’re taking her to the medbay while Gary’s taking Mothman to the bureau

Chapter Text

She thought it would get better. She hoped it would. It’s been long enough—then why didn’t it? Why couldn’t she shake off the ghost of Malice and her father and his sacrifice and the unimaginable power in her that was just now getting out and manifesting in its full—

‘Hey, hey, Nor,’ Zari said and squeezed her hand, a welcome reassurance that she wasn’t lost, ‘take a deep breath. It’s gonna be okay.’

Nora’s voice trembled when she replied, ‘I’m sorry, I’m—’

‘Spiralling, yeah, I know.’ She turned over to face her, hand still grasping Nora’s. ‘I can feel your heartbeat. Look,’ she shuffled even closer, ‘I’m still not good at this pep talk thing, but I’ve been where you are many times over. You’re thinking about Mallus again, aren’t you?’

God, she was pathetic. How many times have they had this conversation? Or with Ray? In bed in the middle of the night? She stopped counting. The demons always came back. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t drown them. Or him, singular. She carried on like a Legend, fought the evil, joined the parties, played the games, gathered gossip, watched movies, tried to learn to control her powers with John; but in the end, the darkness flourished.

‘Yeah, I,’ she closed her eyes, ‘I had a dream. I was back there, in the emptiness, and then we were in New York on 9/11 and it was my fault that the buildings fell down. I wanted to help but unleashed this devastating power instead, and it—Sara, she—then I woke up. I’m sorry I woke you up too.’

Zari’s head rested in the crook of Nora’s neck, and her hand was rubbing patterns on her arm. She spoke softly. ‘It was just a nightmare. We all have nightmares, though mine often involve naked Mick and killing doughnuts,’ she chuckled. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re a great warlock and you use your powers for good, and yeah, you can be annoying as fuck sometimes, but you’re a great person, and you’re full of light. I don’t care how cheesy that sounds.’ Nora felt the press of lips on her shoulders. ‘Sara is going to be alright. That wasn’t your fault.’

Like every time before, Zari was right. Hearing those words were a balm on her damaged soul. Like every time before, she hoped it would help her heal if she heard them enough times. But on the inside, she was still shaking with fear of what might happen if she really lost control like this. Like in her cell at the Bureau, when she threw Ava and Mona against the walls.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I know. I’m trying to be that “great person”. I’m trying to have a future where I don’t think about Malice at all. I just don’t know if I can,’ she released a breath she didn’t realise she’s been holding.

Zari kissed her shoulder again. Then her neck. ‘Yes, you can. I fought that battle too, with A.R.G.U.S. and Behrad and—I’m here, aren’t I? Saving people, hunting things, and eating lots of doughnuts.’

‘Ray says the same thing…’

‘Then you know it’s true.’

Nora kissed her. Slowly, at first, with her hand in Zari’s sleep-tousled hair. But she needed to feel something else than panic. She rolled over and was now on top of her. Zari’s hands held her neck, held her close. And Nora kissed her like she was the world. She sucked at her bottom lip. Slid her tongue in her mouth and both her hands in her hair. She kissed her until they were breathless, and then she left a trail of kissed down her body.

Oh, she wanted more. She wanted to take her apart and hear her scream her name and then have another round and feel her inside her.

Zari didn’t feel the same. She knew that. She respected that.

So she made her way up to her face and kissed her again, for what could have been hours, until they fell back asleep and the thought of Malice and her nightmares was but a distant memory, at least for a while.

Chapter Text



Lancelot: Hey what’s up

Lancelot: I’m boreddddd

rayofsunshine: Shouldn’t you be resting?

QueenZee: yeah why are you on your phone

Lancelot: Jeez it’s fine, stop worrying about me

MissTimeBureau: What happened, Sara? What’s going on?

Trenchcoat: You don’t know

gayforray: shush

monalisa: hey I wanna know too

Lancelot: We were on a mission at 9/11 and I was trying to help the victims

Lancelot: A piece of debris collapsed on me but Gideon fixed me up fine

monalisa: omg, are you all right? do you need something?

MissTimeBureau: Jesus, Sara, why didn’t you tell me?

MissTimeBureau: Why didn’t ANY OF YOU tell me?

QueenZee: wasn’t ours to say…?

rayofsunshine: It was just a few hours ago.

MiniDarhk: I don’t think that’s making it any better

Lancelot: You were busy at work, Aves, I didn’t want you to worry about me

MissTimeBureau: That’s so typical of you. I love you, Sara, I always want to know if something happens.

gare-bear: Aww sweet

QueenZee: bet you don’t get this kinda treatment

Trenchcoat: What makes you think so

MiniDarhk: the entirety of your person

gare-bear: John does have a heart, you know

QueenZee: we’ve established that but

QueenZee: can’t imagine him being all smooshy

Lancelot: I’d like to see that

gayforray: same

monalisa: saME

Lancelot: And alright, I promise I’ll always call you if something happens, Aves

Lancelot: You happy?

MissTimeBureau: I’m happier. But seriously, are you all right?

Lancelot: On bed rest, but I swear I’m fine, stop acting like I’ve lost a limb or something

MissTimeBureau: Do you want me to get you something? Soup? Movies? I want to be with you.

Lancelot: Awww <3

Lancelot: Well, I suppose I am getting a bit lonely in this bed all by myself ;)

MissTimeBureau: We can eat strawberries with cream and watch cheesy romcoms all day if you want. Anything for you, babe.

Lancelot: Does sound tempting

Lancelot: Ok, I’ll have Gideon queue up some movies, you bring the strawberries

MamaWaverider: I can do both, captain.

MissTimeBureau: Fabricate some hot chocolate with that too, Gideon.

MamaWaverider: Will do!

MissTimeBureau: I’m coming on the ship right now, so be ready, Sara.

Lancelot: You bet, Sharpe

MissTimeBureau: ❤️💜💙

monalisa: ✨

QueenZee: Ava used emojis

MiniDarhk: weird

MissTimeBureau: What, that’s not weird.

gayforray: it is

rayofsunshine: You’ve never used emojis besides this <3

QueenZee: it’s rarer than Ray using them

monalisa: funny, I’d peg ray as someone who overuses emojis

MiniDarhk: me too tbh

rayofsunshine: It’s faster without them.

MiniDarhk: 😒

MiniDarhk: 😘👍⚡

MissTimeBureau: What does that even mean?

MiniDarhk: emojis are fast

MiniDarhk: which they are cause I typed that faster than ray with his fully punctuated sentence

gayforray: Lucifer would agree

monalisa: who would what

QueenZee: ohh right you’re new to this

QueenZee: Lucifer is real and lives in LA and he’s great

gayforray: he was in this chat once and he loves emojis

monalisa: you’re not kidding right now

trickstergoddess: dunno about this chat but oh hes real

Trenchcoat: He owns a club

QueenZee: I think I still have that selfie somewhere

QueenZee: [image attached: zariandlucifer.jpeg]

monalisa: wow you’re pretty

monalisa: and that’s really the devil, huh

MiniDarhk: I keep forgetting you haven’t actually met some of the legends

gayforray: me too

QueenZee: thanks ❤️

monalisa: ❤️

MiniDarhk: now don’t get any ideas

gayforray: you’re the one who keeps going on about poly ships

MiniDarhk: sarcasm 🙄

MiniDarhk: speaking of, have you met gary and john again yet @monalisa

monalisa: oh sure, at work ;)

gare-bear: We talked a lot about the creatures

monalisa: and d&d

QueenZee: of course you play that

trickstergoddess: and thats it

gayforray: ha you too 👀

trickstergoddess: what, nathaniel

gayforray: don’t do that

gayforray: I know you did it on purpose

MiniDarhk: what about you and mick, any development

trickstergoddess: dont stick your nose into whats not your business

QueenZee: and the tables turned

grunt: I like her, she’s great

Trenchcoat: Did she change your opinion on Brits yet

grunt: not on you, trenchcoat

MiniDarhk: john, I want to hear your side of things

Trenchcoat: Mona’s a real sweetheart, I’d just drag her down to hell with me

Trenchcoat: It’s enough I’ve taken Gary on this path

Lancelot: Hey, don’t talk like this again

rayofsunshine: Some sunshine in your life will only make it brighter!

Trenchcoat: Don’t tell me you’re offering, dreamboat

gayforray: stop right there

rayofsunshine: I wasn’t…I’m…

monalisa: I’ve seen a lot of darkness in this world and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that nothing and no one is ever really lost

monalisa: 😉

QueenZee: that goes for you too, @MiniDarhk

MiniDarhk: 💚

monalisa: 💛

gare-bear: 💛

gayforray: *rainbow heart*

MiniDarhk: *poly flag heart*

Trenchcoat: 🙄

MiniDarhk: lol he’s done

gayforray: more unusual emoji users, I like this

Trenchcoat: Just so you’d known, I’ve been in a relationship with two people before and it didn’t end up well

Lancelot: Who would’ve guessed

QueenZee: did they elope together

Trenchcoat: No, Zatanna and I did, and the other guy tried to kill us and take our power

MiniDarhk: yikes

gayforray: buddy I’m sorry 

Trenchcoat: He’s the one who ended up pushing the daisies

trickstergoddess: sounds like you had it coming though

Trenchcoat: You didn’t happen to meet him in hell, did you? Went by the name Nick Necro

trickstergoddess: that rings a bell, maybe I did

Trenchcoat: Ah, bollocks

Lancelot: Why

Trenchcoat: If he’s there I’m bound to see him again when I, y’know

monalisa: don’t think about that now! you’ve got a great life! you’re so cool!

gare-bear: Yeah, she’s right, you’re just 😍

QueenZee: well this was sweet but

QueenZee: @Lancelot updates

Lancelot: [image attached: strawberries.jpeg]

monalisa: that picture’s so artsy, you should put it on instagram

Lancelot: How do you know I have one

monalisa: I know 👀

MiniDarhk: mysterious

gayforray: what are you watching

Lancelot: Crazy Rich Asians

QueenZee: nice one 👏

monalisa: I approve

rayofsunshine: I haven’t seen that, what’s it about?

QueenZee: title says it all

QueenZee: I thought Wally would have made a remark by now

gayforray: maybe he’s finally asleep for once

MiniDarhk: it’s kinda weird when he’s not here

notbarryallen: did someone mention me

QueenZee: 😮

notbarryallen: m a g i c right

monalisa: cool

notbarryallen: so what’s up I’m reporting from the home of anime

rayofsunshine: You got up early.

notbarryallen: to do my morning yoga

Trenchcoat: That’s something I can get behind

gayforray: you do yoga naked

Trenchcoat: I don’t mind that, now do I

notbarryallen: who says I don’t

MiniDarhk: 😏


notbarryallen is live


trickstergoddess: you’re really naked

MiniDarhk: like we can see anything in the darkness though

monalisa: nice to finally meet you

QueenZee: oh hey Rick

gayforray: you’re a mood “go do your yoga and let me sleep you early bird fuck”

Lancelot: Funny when a hero with a bird identity says that

rayofsunshine: That reminds me of you in the mornings sometimes.

gayforray: excuse me,

QueenZee: it’s true

QueenZee: even Wally says so

gayforray: okay fine yes I’m grumpy before my first cup of coffee but who isn’t

gare-bear: John, he’s a morning person

monalisa: me too! I always wake up early so I’d have time to read a nice book or something before I go to work

MiniDarhk: you three would really get along


notbarryallen is no longer live


notbarryallen: he threw pillows at me

notbarryallen: anyway I see you’re following the shipping agenda

monalisa: asdfghjkl

MiniDarhk: you broke her

notbarryallen: asdfghjkl

notbarryallen: lol I had to

notbarryallen: I’m gonna do my yoga, have fun kids

grunt: you’re a kid, kid

notbarryallen: yOu’Re a KiD

trickstergoddess: are you all totally bonkers

Lancelot: I believe the answer to that question is yes

gayforray: yEs We aRe

Chapter Text



gare-bear: HAPPY HANUKKAH! 🕎

gayforray: I can’t believe doctor who copied us AGAIN

gayforray: right after we catch Mothman they go with killer moths

gayforray: sure…

gayforray: also happy Hanukkah, Gary

notbarryallen: lol

notbarryallen: so ignored

gare-bear: I guess we just picked the same moment to say something because we’re time bros

gayforray: let’s go with that

QueenZee: happy Hanukkah to you, Gary

Trenchcoat: This sounds like the beginning of a joke, a Jew, a Muslim and an atheist walk into a bar

notbarryallen: and are served tea by a Buddhist cause it’s actually a tea shop

monalisa: omg

Trenchcoat: I’ll give you this one

gayforray: where are you these days

notbarryallen: we talked yesterday

MiniDarhk: he asked a question

notbarryallen: on a hike

notbarryallen: beautiful right [image attached: nature.jpeg]

MiniDarhk: well you’ll never believe what we’re looking at

MiniDarhk: [image attached: mustache.jpeg]

notbarryallen: OH NO

monalisa: seriously, ray

rayofsunshine: It’s fashionable!

gayforray: I hate it

QueenZee: yeah same

MiniDarhk: I don’t but it’s hilarious

notbarryallen: 👀

rayofsunshine: I hate you @gayforray

gayforray: no you don’t

rayofsunshine: You’re right, I love you, but I’m not shaving it for you.

monalisa: I’m nOt sHaViNg For SherLoCk hOlMes

MiniDarhk: bish you’re right

gayforray: nooooooo

rayofsunshine: I know you’re just making fun of me but you know I love Sherlock.

grunt: what the fuck is that on your face, haircut

rayofsunshine: This is a conspiracy.

Lancelot: Maybe

trickstergoddess: I liked you better before

rayofsunshine: How about this, I’ll fit in nicely in the past.

notbarryallen: you’ve got another mission

Lancelot: Yeah, 1856 New Orleans

Lancelot: But breakfast first

monalisa: you do that a lot

Trenchcoat: Travel to New Orleans? Yeah, too often for my taste

monalisa: I meant travel, period

monalisa: must be awesome

gayforray: always

gare-bear: What is it with you and New Orleans, John?

Trenchcoat: Just stuff in the past, don’t worry about it, love. I’m a grown man, I can handle it

monalisa: well if anything happens you can talk to us

gare-bear: Absolutely

QueenZee: aww, sweet

rayofsunshine: Like your atrocious cereal.

QueenZee: beignets, Ray 👏 I’m soaking up the taste of New Orleans

monalisa: are you all like in the same room and chatting here

gayforray: yup and we don’t care

notbarryallen: 100% of the time

grunt: not me, I’m just watching them and eating my food

Lancelot: What are you doing now then

grunt: fair, blondie

gare-bear: Is Ava still on the Waverider? Cause I didn’t see her anywhere and kinda wanted to talk to her

MissTimeBureau: Yes, I’m here, Gary. What do you need?

gare-bear: Uhh that’s private I’ll just wait

MiniDarhk: private, huh

notbarryallen: does it concern john 👀

monalisa: or me 👀

gare-bear: Hhhhhh

gayforray: I can help you

gayforray: time bros, right

gare-bear: Okayy 👍

gayforray: I’m done eating so I’m coming to the bureau

monalisa: so am I if anyone cares

MissTimeBureau: I definitely care.

MissTimeBureau: Good job.

monalisa: aww ava, I mean, director sharpe, I mean

Lancelot: I guess we’re on our way too, gotta stop a cereal killer

gayforray: 😂

rayofsunshine: More Sherlock references, nice.

Lancelot: That was just a pun but ok

monalisa: serial killers? oh no, I hope you get that bastard

MissTimeBureau: It’s a she, and we believe she’s innocent, it’s gotta be Mike the Spike.

MiniDarhk: I love your secret side

MissTimeBureau: My what?

MiniDarhk: your love of serial killers is just 👌

MissTimeBureau: I don’t love serial killers, it’s just a hobby. Shut up.

monalisa: this is interesting

notbarryallen: uh huh

MissTimeBureau: Whatever, I’m going to put on a fancy dress and go out there.

Lancelot: I need to see that

MissTimeBureau: If I get to see more of you in historical dresses?

Lancelot: Of course, Aves ;)

Trenchcoat: Let me just appreciate

Trenchcoat: [image attached: zariandcharlie.jpeg]

trickstergoddess: im gonna kill you john-o

rayofsunshine: Ha, new nickname!

QueenZee: can’t believe I actually agree with this one

gayforray: those dresses look good on you

QueenZee: I feel like I’m in some kind of princess nightmare

MiniDarhk: excuse me, you’re so hot in that

QueenZee: lsdjjsf okay

QueenZee: and of course I end up with John and Charlie

trickstergoddess: guess thats karma, sweetheart

gayforray: oops she did it again

MiniDarhk: hey hey what did gary wanna talk about

gayforray: his crush on Mona

gare-bear: That’s private!

gayforray: not on here, it isn’t

QueenZee: you know better than that, buddy

monalisa: so it’s real 👀

gare-bear: Uhhh I’m just

Trenchcoat: It’s okay, love

Trenchcoat: On another note, I’m not handling it

Lancelot: Great, what happened

Trenchcoat: A trip down memory lane with Laveau

gare-bear: Did she hurt you? Are you ok?

MissTimeBureau: Was I right? Is she the killer?

Trenchcoat: Nope, yeah, yeah and definitely not

MissTimeBureau: Ah, nice, at least some good news.

MissTimeBureau: Rory is being a dick again.

trickstergoddess: hes good at that

gayforray: 👀

trickstergoddess: aight stop that pretty boy

grunt: yeah

rayofsunshine: I think I found the fugitive, you have nothing to worry about.

QueenZee: great, can I get out of this dress now

MiniDarhk: I’ll help you with that

MiniDarhk: in a completely ace way because I respect your identity

QueenZee: <3

trickstergoddess: hey mick will you help me with mine

grunt: definitely

Trenchcoat: And of course Gary is at work

gare-bear: I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you in the evening

gare-bear: But like can we talk first

Trenchcoat: If you get me a drink first, because after today I’ll need it

gare-bear: <3

grunt: me too

Lancelot: You always need a drink

grunt: I live my life to the full

QueenZee: wow

Lancelot: The fugitive is secure, and guess what, it’s a fucking doll

gayforray: ooh Annabelle

rayofsunshine: We’re actually calling it Chucky.

gayforray: even better

gayforray: I’m just chilling with Mona right now

QueenZee: I’m envious right now

gayforray: aren’t you like having almost-sex with Nora

MiniDarhk: almost sex pfft

MiniDarhk: I’d love to but there’s still business to attend to cause apparently “trip down memory lane” was a great fucking understatement and john disappeared together with charlie

gayforray: wasn’t she having sex with Mick

grunt: she ran off, that’s why I need a drink

gare-bear: What exactly is going on???

QueenZee: I don’t think he’s cheating on you or anything but he was pretty shaken

grunt: I’m gonna get that drink

Lancelot: Do that

Lancelot: Care to have lunch with me @MissTimeBureau

MissTimeBureau: Always.

MiniDarhk: what about us

QueenZee: yeah I’ll never say no to food

Lancelot: Thought you were looking for John

QueenZee: have you heard what I just said

MiniDarhk: he’s in the jumpship with charlie now can we have that dinner

rayofsunshine: I’m with you, but aren’t you worried about what they might do?

QueenZee: Gideon

MamaWaverider: I’ll bring them back right away, Miss Tomaz.

QueenZee: see

QueenZee: but I’ll go talk some sense into them cause I know you’d tell me to anyway

QueenZee: save me some food, Nora

MiniDarhk: sure

rayofsunshine: I can do that too!

QueenZee: I’m pretty sure I’ll be back soon but thanks guys

Lancelot: Or not

Lancelot: Chucky is back

gayforray: seriously

gayforray: why does every mission sound crazier than the previous one

gayforray: especially when I’m NOT THERE

gare-bear: I just wanna know if John is all right

QueenZee: stupid but all right

Trenchcoat: Just don’t get your knickers in a twist, love

Trenchcoat: I was trying to do something good in my life for once

gare-bear: You can do good, I believe in you

QueenZee: that’s nice and all but don’t actually encourage him in this one, thanks, Gary

MiniDarhk: he went back didn’t he

trickstergoddess: yeah he did

QueenZee: guess I won’t be back for lunch as soon as I thought

Lancelot: We’re not exactly having lunch

trickstergoddess: right, youre fighting that possessed doll

grunt: it’s not a doll anymore

rayofsunshine: Yeah, it’s Leo’s Marty puppet.

gayforray: what the fuck

Lancelot: Can’t talk sorry

trickstergoddess: we gonna help them or stop trenchcoat

QueenZee: He’s about to create a paradox, that’s worse

gare-bear: What is going on???????

QueenZee: that’s a lot of question marks

QueenZee: look, I think it’s better he tells you himself, it involves a previous relationship of his

gare-bear: I know, I just

gare-bear: It’s also weird Mona isn’t talking to us…

gayforray: you’re right

gayforray: too weird

trickstergoddess: oi zee you coming or what

trickstergoddess: why is there a cat


Chapter Text



MissTimeBureau: So you’re telling me you created six different alternate realities where some combination of us was dead because Constantine wanted to save his boyfriend? Is that true?

QueenZee: and I was a cat

gayforray: you were the cat Charlie was talking about

MiniDarhk: you were a CAT

rayofsunshine: How?

QueenZee: ask John

Trenchcoat: Yeah, yeah, blame it on me

QueenZee: you didn’t have to turn me back into a cat, you know

trickstergoddess: you meddled with our plan, so you had it coming, sweetheart

trickstergoddess: ALSO she thinks im hot

gayforray: well she got eyes

MiniDarhk: she did what

QueenZee: you said it not me

trickstergoddess: I beg to differ ;)

MissTimeBureau: Why are you ignoring me.

Lancelot: Passive aggressive period, Aves?

rayofsunshine: Sorry, we’re as shocked as you are, all we know is that we’ve been here, fighting Mike the Spike.

gayforray: or at the bureau, having lunch

monalisa: guys

monalisa: I’m

monalisa: the kaupe was taken and he got angry and he hurt me and I’m

monalisa: I need help

MiniDarhk: oh no honey

gayforray: fuck

MissTimeBureau: Where are you?

gayforray: I’ll take Gary and we’ll help you

monalisa: parking lot

monalisa: please hurry up

monalisa: and you have to help the creatures, they’re doing something bad to them

MissTimeBureau: No, I’d know if that was happening.

monalisa: it is

gare-bear: Oh fuck Mona I’m coming to help you like right now, hang on

MissTimeBureau: I’m off this ship and calling Hank.

QueenZee: Gary said fuck 👀

Trenchcoat: Not his first

Lancelot: Obviously

MiniDarhk: so you’re that good

Trenchcoat: Very good

Lancelot: How are holding up, John?

Trenchcoat: Having more of that scotch, I can pull through

gare-bear: I’m. Is there something I can do

Trenchcoat: Come here when you’ll have helped Mona

gare-bear: <3

gayforray: lots of hurt and comfort here today

trickstergoddess: we cant be all cheery all the time nate

rayofsunshine: Also, apparently, Oliver and the others got themselves into a mess of their own and called us for help, oops.

gayforray: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

gayforray: they can handle it

Lancelot: Yeahhh

Lancelot: Right?

QueenZee: I’m too tired for that right now

MiniDarhk: you have to tell me more about being a cat

QueenZee: no why

trickstergoddess: she was cute oh my god

rayofsunshine: So you don’t hate each other anymore?

Trenchcoat: Quite the opposite, I’d say

QueenZee: shut up

MiniDarhk: what am I reading with my own eyes right now

monalisa: this is fun

MiniDarhk: are you all right???

monalisa: omw to the medical dept

MiniDarhk: oh good

MiniDarhk: charlie and mick are still an item or

grunt: we were never an item

grunt: I like her and we had sex, that’s all

trickstergoddess: yeah adults can shag if they want to

Trenchcoat: You speak my language

gayforray: I see you all bonded

Lancelot: It was like five minutes for us

Lancelot: It’s weird

QueenZee: time travel is weird

trickstergoddess: agreed

gayforray: true

Lancelot: so guess who also finally bonded

grunt: time boss read my novel

MissTimeBureau: And Rory killed my cookies.

MissTimeBureau: Liked, I mean liked.

grunt: so we’re even now

QueenZee: but with Mick I’m pretty sure you can say he killed those cookies

MiniDarhk: ^^

Trenchcoat: Did anyone mention cookies

MissTimeBureau: I never said I was sorry for what happened to you.

Trenchcoat: Ta, but I don’t need your sympathy, Sharpie

Trenchcoat: Though I quite liked the sad emo version of you

Trenchcoat: And I could use a biscuit with the scotch

MiniDarhk: some culinary expert

MissTimeBureau: The who?

trickstergoddess: you were pretty badass in that reality, as you americans would say

Lancelot: Care to tell me more

QueenZee: maybe later

rayofsunshine: I thought you were a cat.

QueenZee: the bag had a window

MiniDarhk: 👀

trickstergoddess: I think ive got a picture somewhere

trickstergoddess: [image attached: catbag.jpeg]

monalisa: awwwww

MiniDarhk: I’d cuddle you so hard omg

QueenZee: I’m not a cat anymore but

MiniDarhk: I’ll hold you to that

MiniDarhk: got food

QueenZee: I just ate but always

rayofsunshine: You ate in an alternate reality, and even though you came back to the exact moment you left, it still happened to you, and you technically are older than us by a few hours. How fascinating!

QueenZee: yay

trickstergoddess: same for my pictures

Trenchcoat: @monalisa you were in that reality too

monalisa: you didn’t turn me into a cat did you

monalisa: if you did was it a fluffy one

QueenZee: I’m pretty sure you said the same thing

Trenchcoat: You did

gare-bear: Did you meet me there too

trickstergoddess: yup, and I had to shift into you

Trenchcoat: You locked me up in Time Bureau prison

gare-bear: OH NO I’M SORRY LOVE

gare-bear: What was I thinking in that reality

Trenchcoat: You were also so stupid it was adorable, so I think we’re even

trickstergoddess: yeah I got you fooled so easily I was laughing on the inside

monalisa: you should see him right now

monalisa: [image attached: lost.jpeg]

MiniDarhk: you shouldn’t be on your phone when you’re hurt, mona

monalisa: I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry about me

gayforray: I can confirm

Lancelot: Did Nora like adopt Mona or

gayforray: it looks that way

MiniDarhk: haha no

monalisa: maybe a little bit

notbarryallen: more ships

QueenZee: that was a good entrance

notbarryallen: always

notbarryallen: btw I got a text from barry

notbarryallen: apparently he and oliver switched or something

Trenchcoat: What exactly does that mean

QueenZee: I guess not what you think it does

Lancelot: I heard there was a dark Superman or whatnot

rayofsunshine: Shouldn’t we… help them maybe?

gayforray: nah we’ve decided to pass so we’ll pass

MiniDarhk: not a fan of team-ups so I vote no

QueenZee: after the day we’ve had

trickstergoddess: who exactly are those people

Trenchcoat: Long story

Lancelot: Very long

gare-bear: I’m coming on the ship @Trenchcoat

gare-bear: Did you mention biscuits

Trenchcoat: Yeah, you’d be a sweetheart

gare-bear: <3

QueenZee: take good care of him

trickstergoddess: somebody wanna take care of me

MiniDarhk: come join us if you want

monalisa: 👀

notbarryallen: yeah

trickstergoddess: guess im not gonna say no

grunt: what about me

trickstergoddess: some other time, mick

QueenZee: it’s ladies night

Lancelot: Since Ava is at the Bureau

MiniDarhk: yes you can join us

Lancelot: What’s on the program

QueenZee: food and movies

MiniDarhk: what else really

rayofsunshine: I’m not a lady but I have nothing to do right now, so can I maybe join the club?

MiniDarhk: just come here you big teddy bear

rayofsunshine: Okay then!

grunt: I’ll ask again, what about me

trickstergoddess: go drink with trenchcoat

Trenchcoat: Don’t

QueenZee: if you’re up for a dose of Christmas romcoms that are so straight it hurts but are perfect for making fun of

grunt: no thanks

trickstergoddess: didnt think so

MiniDarhk: I love this

monalisa: hey I want in too

MiniDarhk: you need to rest

gare-bear: We’ll make it up to you

MiniDarhk: promise

monalisa: <3

QueenZee: enough flirting let’s watch this tooth-rotting disaster 👏

Chapter Text

John Constantine didn’t cry. He didn’t get emotional. He has lost enough people he cared about during his short and miserable life to get used to it and wave each death away with a drink, because that’s as good as goodbyes were in his world. He moved on.

Rule one of magic was that there always was a price. And oh, he paid. He paid and carried on and hoped that he’ll smoke his way down to hell instead of taking the rocky road of death by demon or what have you, which was what was more likely to happen to someone like him, ta very much. But he didn’t cry.

So why did this keep on hitting his heart like a knife?

It’s been half a year, bloody hell. And he had Gary now. Gary, the adorable and cheerful Time Bureau agent who was a striking opposite of him, and who should’ve run after their first night but somehow, weirdly enough, he didn’t and refused to give up on him even though John saw him as an opportunity for rebound sex and not much more than that, at first.

(He had wanted to get over Dez. Gary had been there. End of story.

Except it wasn’t. Gary was still here, in his bed, and Dez was gone all over again, and it hurt more than it’s ever done, because the guilt that had been eating him alive for so long had been stronger and more malignant than ever before and had pushed him far enough to try and save him even though he definitely shouldn’t have. And of bloody course he failed.)

Dez was just another in the line of lovers he’s lost. There were many before him, men and women, beautiful and equally damaged, and he always, always moved on. Eventually.

So please explain this, whatever god is watching him right now: why was he sitting here, wallowing in grief, tear-stained cheeks, eating biscuits and hating the taste of his favourite whisky, holding onto Gary as if he was the only thing that bound him to life?

He snorted. It came out halfway like a sob.

‘Want more of those cookies?’ Gary mumbled into his chest. They were lying in John’s bed, under the covers, not even naked. Not this time.

‘Hmm.’ The image of his past self and Desmond restoring the timeline played out before his eyes again. Erasing the memory of breaking his heart from Dez’s mind and letting it happen was the only thing he could have done, in the end; he knew that. Causality and all that. It still broke his dark heart.

Gary passed him the plate. John crunched on a hard biscuit and tried not to think.

‘I don’t really know what happened between you and that guy,’ Gary said, ‘all I’ve heard was from Nate, who knows from Ava, who knows from Sara. But it’ll get better. That’s just time travel, believe me, I know…’ he trailed off. Hummed with content. ‘You have me now, and the Legends.’

‘You should leave and forget about me, love. I bring nothing but pain and death and misery wherever I come, and it always drags people down. You don’t deserve any of this.’

I don’t want you to suffer the same fate as Dez, or Nick, or Zatanna, or Chris, or Anne-Marie, or Jim Corrigan, or the other Gary, or anyone else I knew who ended up either dead or scarred for life, he wanted to say.

‘Don’t talk like that, I’m a badass time agent and I can handle this. I was elected employee of the month in October!’ he grinned like that really meant something. It probably did for this disastrous sunshine of a human.

‘Alright, alright.’ John didn’t smile. He wanted to. It was impossible. ‘But I don’t want to lose you too, like—like him. Dez.’ Since he was drowning in guilt and sadness and truth, he might as well say it.

Because by some cruel, laughable twist of fate (maybe it was Fate, with a capital F, that annoying tosser), he kept falling for the wrong people, for the good people—and hurting them, too. And he’s undeniably fallen for Gary, all in, maybe because he was so untouched by darkness it was almost unbelievable.

Pathetic, really.

It hurt more and more.

‘You won’t lose me, I’m like, never letting you go, John. You’re the awesomest person I know, seriously.’ Awesomest. Something only he could say. He propped his chin on John’s chest and stared him into his eyes. ‘I love you.’

More and more.

It was a matter of time, wasn’t it?

John moved his static arm and ran his fingers through Gary’s hair. Without his glasses, he looked different. Older. John kissed him to mend the pain of his shattered heart at least for a moment, until he’ll inevitably wake up at night because of Neron’s ugly mug laughing at him in his dreams.

He needed to vaporise that bastard before he takes Gary from him too. Or Sara. Or anyone. And maybe, if the universe decides to play his game for a little bit longer, maybe he can still save Dez from hell, because he’s a Legend now, and Legends find those loopholes he didn’t manage to get his grip on with this one yet. He trusted Zari on this.

But if he does—what will he do? Let him go, just like that? Let Gary go? Let neither go?

This was too much to think about right now. He could hardly bear it. So he shut his mind again and focused on Gary’s lips that were now leaving marks on his throat. Biscuit crumbs ran down his torso, onto the bed.

Chapter Text



gayforray: I can’t believe Doctor Who’s finished, like, what do we do now

gare-bear: That void when you finish a show

gayforray: right

QueenZee: watch a different show maybe

trickstergoddess: it wasnt even that good yknow

MiniDarhk: how dare you

MissTimeBureau: Thirteen shows women can be powerful too and I love her for it.

Lancelot: Babe

Lancelot: You and I are the embodiment of girl power

QueenZee: gay girl power, let’s not forget

rayofsunshine: You go girls!

MiniDarhk: hell yes

MiniDarhk: have you even seen a show with more girl power than we have

gayforray: uh, we’re real though

Lancelot: Maybe there’s an Earth where we’re all fictional 👀

grunt: we’ve seen weirder things than that

rayofsunshine: Oh we definitely did, I mean, aliens and immortals and killer unicorns…

Lancelot: In that world, Aves and I are like the ultimate OTP and you can’t prove otherwise

gayforray: so you’re saying you’re better than us

MissTimeBureau: She’s saying we’re more popular.

gayforray: I mean, you’re right, you’re so better than us

rayofsunshine: Don’t say that!

gayforray: we’re idiots, they’re the perfect couple

QueenZee: you’re onto something

gayforray: tee hee

MiniDarhk: people would totally ship ray and me

QueenZee: you’re very sure of that

monalisa: that’s happening even in the real world so 👀

rayofsunshine: Hi, Mona, how are you?

monalisa: hungry

monalisa: and unable to eat properly

MiniDarhk: oof I’m sorry

monalisa: but gary visited me today

gayforray: ahhh

gare-bear: That I did

QueenZee: how’s John

gare-bear: I made him breakfast so I’d say better

MiniDarhk: did you burn the toast again

gare-bear: That was once

gare-bear: I am very skilled in the art of toast

MiniDarhk: well it was fun

monalisa: will you make me toast too

gare-bear: Anything

QueenZee: sweet

gayforray: I can’t tell if you’re sarcastic or not

QueenZee: take a guess

Lancelot: Both

MamaWaverider: I’ve received a message from Barry Allen saying everything has been put back to normal, and one from Oliver Queen that was more or less a passive-aggressive thank you for your help note.

Lancelot: Tell him we’re sorry but we’ve been busy?

rayofsunshine: That should work, right?

gayforray: they didn’t even need us, be chill

notbarryallen: I heard they’ve met batwoman

notbarryallen: and bruce’s cousin

Lancelot: They’re the same person, obviously

gayforray: surprise surprise

QueenZee: do they know that we know Batman’s identity

notbarryallen: not from me

Lancelot: Kara says she knows

Lancelot: That they’re the same person

Lancelot: And that Bruce is Batman

gayforray: and her cousin is Superman obviously

QueenZee: and Bob’s your uncle

rayofsunshine: You’re in touch with her?

notbarryallen: interdimensional texting is a thing when you know cisco ramon

Lancelot: You know, after pride

MissTimeBureau: So everything is good between you and Alex Danvers?

Lancelot: Why wouldn’t it be

Lancelot: Jealous again, babe

MissTimeBureau: No…

Trenchcoat: And this time it’s not about me

trickstergoddess: blimey look who’s back

Trenchcoat: Don’t tell me you’re worried about me

trickstergoddess: im not, they are

QueenZee: thanks

MiniDarhk: you are, can’t hide it from us

trickstergoddess: whatever

Trenchcoat: Well, don’t be, I’m not a scared little broken lad, I’ve lived my share of losses and I can deal with them

gare-bear: Like I said, I’m not leaving and you can talk to me, okay

QueenZee: is it just me or is Gary less awkward when he’s around John cause he sounds like a normal and caring boyfriend and I’m lowkey worried

monalisa: the guy needs it

monalisa: more sunshine 😉

Lancelot: Twenty points for Zari

rayofsunshine: Are you giving us house points?

Lancelot: No, Ray, don’t get too excited

gayforray: good cause that way Gryffindor would totally lose

MiniDarhk: hail slytherin everyone

QueenZee: 🐍 pride

QueenZee: we gotta do right by our house

notbarryallen: unlike jkr

Trenchcoat: 👍

gayforray: why do you keep doing this

MiniDarhk: unity

trickstergoddess: mwah

Lancelot: Relax, Nate

Lancelot: Kara is a Gryffindor too

gayforray: she’s from a different earth

rayofsunshine: What about Amaya?

gayforray: she’s in 1942 and not even talking to us anymore

MiniDarhk: guess you’re all alone then, bye

gayforray: 🦁 😔

grunt: why do you keep talking about harry potter

notbarryallen: eyeroll

MiniDarhk: there’s an emoji for that 🙄

notbarryallen: lol

QueenZee: got rekt

QueenZee: also stop using the lol thing

notbarryallen: oh right you’re still allergic to it

rayofsunshine: It’s gonna get better.

QueenZee: it better

notbarryallen: I see what you did there

MamaWaverider: Oh, puns.

MamaWaverider: And by the way, Mr Heywood wants to know whether you’ll be taking part in the annual Christmas sports tournament at the Bureau.

gayforray: no I don’t

gayforray: oh you mean my dad, gotcha

notbarryallen: don’t say it

notbarryallen: don’t say it

notbarryallen: don’t say it

notbarryallen: lol

QueenZee: why did no one stop that

Lancelot: Why didn’t you

Lancelot: @MissTimeBureau

MissTimeBureau: What?

MissTimeBureau: Oh, right, sports. Does any of you play softball or volleyball?

gayforray: count me in

rayofsunshine: Baby, you work there.

Trenchcoat: Count me out

Lancelot: Come on, it’s gonna be fun

QueenZee: …getting our asses handed to us by time bureau agents in softball

Lancelot: We can do martial arts, I’m sure we can handle ball games, right?

MiniDarhk: is magic allowed

MissTimeBureau: No, and you probably shouldn’t get involved at all, sorry, Nora.

MiniDarhk: prisoners v agents? no?

MissTimeBureau: No.

monalisa: aww I’d play but

grunt: I don’t do team sports

gare-bear: Oh you gotta join us, it’s so much fun

Lancelot: Am I the only one who’s gonna do it? Really?

QueenZee: never said I wouldn’t

rayofsunshine: Me too! I’m bad at sports but I can certainly try.

MissTimeBureau: That’s the spirit!

trickstergoddess: never played volleyball when I was locked up, might be fun

MissTimeBureau: All right, Gideon, tell Mr. Heywood they’re in.

MamaWaverider: Will do.

QueenZee: one thing, when is it

gayforray: that’s what you’re concerned with, okay

QueenZee: 😒

QueenZee: yeah I get it, we’re time travelers, but I wanna know

MissTimeBureau: Christmas Eve at noon.

notbarryallen: classy

gayforray: right

MiniDarhk: ANYWAY

MiniDarhk: do we have plans for christmas or

Lancelot: We’ll figure that out as we roll

rayofsunshine: I was thinking we could do Secret Santa this year?

QueenZee sent a GIF

Chapter Text



gayforray: we should do secret santa

Trenchcoat: Why does this not surprise me

Lancelot: Cause you know us

monalisa: what did you do last year

rayofsunshine: Dinner, presents for everybody, and eggnog.

MiniDarhk: 🎄🎅🏻🎁

QueenZee: I’m kinda surprised you like Christmas

MiniDarhk: haven’t enjoyed it for years so

trickstergoddess: youre that kind of people eh

gayforray: what kind

trickstergoddess: cheery santa loving americans with the idea of christmas being about presents

Lancelot: I mean, we’ve established that on Halloween

monalisa: I loooove Christmas

monalisa: ugly sweaters you know


MiniDarhk: hey mona do you wanna celebrate with us

MissTimeBureau: Yes, you should!

monalisa: bold of you to assume I wasn’t gonna sneak onto your party anyway

QueenZee: we’ll be on the Waverider

QueenZee: or will we

Lancelot: Dunno

Lancelot: It’s December 14 it’s too SOON

rayofsunshine: Show some Christmas spirit, Sara.

Lancelot: Fuck your Christmas spirit

Lancelot: That starts on December 23

MiniDarhk: mood

monalisa: mood

gayforray: hang on

gayforray: it’s your birthday too

Lancelot: Yup

monalisa: isn’t it kinda sad, having your birthday on christmas

Lancelot: I get double presents

notbarryallen: meaning you want us to get you double presents

gayforray: you’re in Tokyo

notbarryallen: shipping or superspeed travel is a thing

rayofsunshine: Will Rick and you be spending Christmas with us 👀

notbarryallen: we’ve discussed it but like

notbarryallen: idk

QueenZee: please do

gayforray: yeah

Lancelot: We miss you

grunt: I guess

Trenchcoat: Some of us don’t care

notbarryallen: rude

monalisa: you seem cool, I’d like to meet you 😸

notbarryallen: pfft we’ll SEE

notbarryallen: I was also invited by the wests tho

Lancelot: Two reasons why to come

QueenZee: so we’re doing this huh

gayforray: you said you didn’t mind…?

QueenZee: I mean the food is to die for

MiniDarhk: zari + food = ❤️

grunt: me + food = ❤️

gayforray: true

monalisa: 🍕

rayofsunshine: Speaking of food, I think it’s time to bake some cookies, don’t you?

MamaWaverider: I can provide that, don’t worry, Dr Palmer.

QueenZee: yay

MiniDarhk: god I love gingerbread

rayofsunshine: But I thought that we could do it ourselves, just like with the turkey.

Trenchcoat: Not more baking bonding please

gare-bear: Excuse me, you’re good at cooking

Lancelot: We’ve figured that out you know

Trenchcoat: A bloke can’t keep a secret round here, can he

QueenZee: nope

notbarryallen: lol I wanted to send a gingerbread emoji but there isn’t any

monalisa: 😂😂😂

MiniDarhk: zari make one

QueenZee: pressure much

rayofsunshine: Well, it’s not like you’re actually doing anything…

QueenZee: do you have to blow the whistle on me like this

QueenZee: make your own emojis

MissTimeBureau: You made them the last time.

MiniDarhk: nice ava

QueenZee: 💩

trickstergoddess: hey can any of you make scones

MamaWaverider: I can make everything.

gayforray: except like a mammoth steak but ok

Trenchcoat: What would you want that for

gayforray: tasting history

QueenZee: ugh

MiniDarhk: 😱

MamaWaverider: If you want a mammoth steak, I suggest you fly to the ice age and kill a mammoth.

Lancelot: Not even Gideon has the stomach for your weird foods, Nate

notbarryallen: 😂😂😂

gayforray: nice one, I admit

MamaWaverider: That was funny, captain.

Lancelot: I know

gayforray: also

gayforray: we finished Doctor Who so I thought we could watch like all the time travel shows that exist

trickstergoddess: self indulgent much

notbarryallen: I see you’re getting the lingo

monalisa: yeet

rayofsunshine: I like that idea!

Lancelot: Yeah and then it’s gonna be you two yelling at the TV about scientific inaccuracies

gayforray: don’t forget historical inaccuracies

gayforray: but Dirk Gently is fun

notbarryallen: do you know timeless

gayforray: bro I know them all

MissTimeBureau: More TV shows nights, yay.

Lancelot: Don’t sound too excited

MissTimeBureau: How do you know I’m not?

Lancelot: Babe, I know you

gayforray: Ava, you love them

QueenZee: yeah, pizza and stupid shows

MiniDarhk: what’s not to love about that

MissTimeBureau: The company.

rayofsunshine: I thought you’re getting along with Mick and John now.

grunt: why is it always me I haven’t done anything

QueenZee: keep living in your beer bubble

grunt: ok

trickstergoddess: its me innit

MissTimeBureau: I mean, nothing personal, but sometimes you’re just… too irritating.

trickstergoddess: that is personal but ok im gonna stay out of your way if you so desire

gayforray: what happened?

trickstergoddess: ask her

MissTimeBureau: It’s not worth mentioning, I’m sorry I said anything. I’ll come to watch whichever show you decide to binge next.

Lancelot: That’s better

MissTimeBureau: But just a thought, shouldn’t we maybe practice for the sports tournament?

QueenZee: we

QueenZee: you’re playing against us

MissTimeBureau: You know what I meant.

MiniDarhk: we’re clumsy idiots and we get it

notbarryallen: also procrastinators

Lancelot: Don’t call us out like this

gayforray: it’s true ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

QueenZee: yeah with our level of procrastination there will be no holidays

Lancelot: Stop worrying about that

Lancelot: Christmas Eve morning, we’ll wake up to shiny tinsel-decorated ship and a huge tree on the bridge, courtesy of Ray

Lancelot: Gideon will have baked five kinds of cookies and the turkey and everything else

Lancelot: Mick will have smuggled ten eggnog bottles onto the ship and some extra whiskey for it and we’ll get hammered

Lancelot: Every Christmas like clockwork

MiniDarhk: what if we want it different this year

Trenchcoat: It’s a first for some of us

gare-bear: I don’t even celebrate Christmas

QueenZee: neither do I but figures

monalisa: we should do it at the bureau or ava’s house

gayforray: you’ve seen Ava’s house

monalisa: yeah

MiniDarhk: let’s irritate sara

MiniDarhk: 🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻

notbarryallen: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Lancelot: 🙄

rayofsunshine: Or we could all get together like we did for Halloween!

rayofsunshine: Since we didn’t help them, you know…

gayforray: that would be chaos

notbarryallen: so many presents

Lancelot: For me, too 👀

monalisa: 😂

rayofsunshine: You know what else we could do, especially after this week?

gayforray: NO DON’T SAY IT

rayofsunshine: Create a group chat with all of us!

QueenZee: please don’t

gayforray: he said it

gayforray: that would be even bigger chaos

MiniDarhk: this is motherfucking chaos

Trenchcoat: Don’t

grunt: haircut, no

rayofsunshine: Okay…

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: how is no one here for 3 days

Lancelot: Let’s just say a mission got real complicated real fast

notbarryallen: so the usual legends antics

QueenZee: hey

QueenZee: maybe the person writing this is busy

gayforray: okay Z we’re NOT fictional, we’ve established that

QueenZee: but we were all created by god, you know, right, so technically that means we are fictional if you look at it from a certain point of view

QueenZee: characters in books don’t feel fictional either but they are and the author is their god

QueenZee: so what if we’re all characters in a book or a tv show

Lancelot: Someone’s having an existential crisis

QueenZee: I had a lot of time to think about it locked in that dungeon while you were out there having fun with creatures

QueenZee: besides, you started talking about it a few days ago

grunt: so you’re saying god got bored and wrote a book and that’s humanity

MiniDarhk: she’s saying he’s still writing it

rayofsunshine: That reminds me of Supernatural.

MiniDarhk: right

Trenchcoat: You’re not entirely wrong, love

QueenZee: huh

Lancelot: This is a bit too depressing

Lancelot: Change of topic


gayforray: I thought you wanted to say something

Lancelot: No, I told you to change the topic

notbarryallen: 😂

gayforray: are we doing secret santa or not

Jaxon: will u be in cc for the holidays or

Jaxon: cuz if you were wed join u

Lancelot: That’s great!

Lancelot: But idk yet

rayofsunshine: You’re the one who doesn’t wanna talk about it.

Lancelot: Ugh fine

Lancelot: 👍 for going out 👎 for staying on the ship

grunt: 👍

gayforray: 👍

MiniDarhk: 👎

QueenZee: 👎

rayofsunshine: 👎

Trenchcoat: 👍

gare-bear: 👍

monalisa: 👍

MamaWaverider: 👎

trickstergoddess: 👍

MissTimeBureau: 👍

Lancelot: That settles it then

rayofsunshine: But we always celebrate Christmas on the ship!

gayforray: doesn’t mean it’s a rule, baby

MissTimeBureau: We could have dinner at our house and then come back on the ship later?

gayforray: that’s in DC

Jaxon: wed go there i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lancelot: Great

rayofsunshine: I’m definitely decorating the ship anyway.

Jaxon: thats a must

monalisa: can I see the ship too

MiniDarhk: sure

monalisa: yayyy 😄💖

gayforray: dinner in the house and party here, that’s reasonable

MamaWaverider: Is it really?

MiniDarhk: we’ll try not to break anything

notbarryallen: haha I kinda miss this

rayofsunshine: So come back.

QueenZee: we told you before

notbarryallen: yeah I know that

notbarryallen: it’s just we said we’re really leaving the old life behind and doing this journey that’s just ours and coming back to the states so soon, idk

gayforray: we respect you whichever decision you make, buddy

notbarryallen: thx

Jaxon: but u should come and bring rick too

notbarryallen: 😂

monalisa: yeah

monalisa: also I bake so I could bring something u know

rayofsunshine: That’s what I’m talking about!

gare-bear: Please

MamaWaverider: You keep making me feel useless.

MiniDarhk: aww no

gayforray: you can bake too Gideon

grunt: more is better

QueenZee: I agree

rayofsunshine: @MiniDarhk we could make some cookies together too!

MiniDarhk: do you want me to kill you or kill myself I barely handled those few cooking recipes

Lancelot: You did great

QueenZee: yeah ❤️

Jaxon: “cooking recipes” tho

MiniDarhk: you know, cooking recipes and baking recipes

monalisa: makes sense

rayofsunshine: It’ll make Zari and Nate and Mick and me happy 👀

grunt: correct

trickstergoddess: fancy word

QueenZee: he’s an author now, he knows words

monalisa: it’ll make me happy too

MiniDarhk: ugh fine

rayofsunshine: Great!

gare-bear: You should maybe begin though, Christmas is on Tuesday

gayforray: funny that you’re the one to remind us 😁 

gare-bear: Everyone knows that?

MissTimeBureau: Do you want me to make a batch of snickerdoodles?

Lancelot: Always

grunt: yeah

trickstergoddess: theyre your favourite now eh

grunt: hmm

MissTimeBureau: Told you.

MamaWaverider: Can I at least fabricate some gingerbread men?

trickstergoddess: and scones

Lancelot: They’re not really for Christmas

trickstergoddess: who says im celebrating that

Trenchcoat: Also some good old shortbread, yeah

grunt: dry british cookies yuck

MissTimeBureau: Excuse me, they’re good.

Trenchcoat: And traditional

notbarryallen: if gideon were human she’d be like

notbarryallen: notice 👏 me 👏 somebody 👏

QueenZee: don’t worry, Gideon, you’ll have plenty to do

Lancelot: We love you

MamaWaverider: You also owe the very ability to exist on this ship to me, so there’s that.

Jaxon: ur not mistreating her are u

QueenZee: I’m taking good care of her, Jax

rayofsunshine: Don’t worry, the ship is as good as new, freshly returned from 1379 India.

MamaWaverider: That was not the most pleasant environment if you ask me.

gayforray: yeah I know

QueenZee: yeah we met a real life Nagini and I do not like snakes

monalisa: omg you met a naga

QueenZee: I had the same reaction but for an entirely different reason

notbarryallen: oof

monalisa: you know how everyone was pissed at jkr for making nagini an asian woman but like it’s literally in the name do you not read

monalisa: nagini means the female of a being that takes the form of a giant snake

gare-bear: Wait what

Jaxon: r u a tumblr person cuz you sound like one

notbarryallen: no she’s too sweet to be involved in fandom drama

monalisa: daww but no jaxon is right

trickstergoddess: whats tumblr

monalisa: 👀

gayforray: ok better don’t start with this

MiniDarhk: 21st century studies lesson four: social media

MiniDarhk: tomorrow @trickstergoddess

Lancelot: Does anyone else feel like that’s gonna be a disaster

gayforray: on the other hand, show her vines

Jaxon: and memes

trickstergoddess: how about we have that lesson now

MiniDarhk: ray came here to drag me to the kitchen to do the baking

trickstergoddess: you can do two things

MiniDarhk: true

MiniDarhk: unlike the guys

notbarryallen: [image attached: pikachu.png]

notbarryallen: hey not me

Jaxon: ^^ thats a meme @trickstergoddess

notbarryallen: (rick again) he did actually make that face

QueenZee: picture?

notbarryallen: he super-sped off

MiniDarhk: we should just add you to this if you keep stealing his phone

Jaxon: lmao


Jaxon added RickGrayson to World’s Biggest Poly SHIP

Jaxon changed RickGrayson’s name to notadick


Lancelot: Wow clever

gayforray: 👏

notadick: really

notadick: fine

QueenZee: I see Wally updated you on the Earth-1 situation

notadick: if I had that name I wouldn’t call myself Dick

gayforray: honestly

Lancelot: You can shorten Richard into Rick too

notadick: tell him that

Lancelot: Oliver said no one’s seen Bruce in years so I guess Dick’s not around anymore either

Lancelot: They’d have met him

Lancelot: There was only Batgirl

notadick: you know Bruce is Batman

gayforray: yeah

notadick: I’ve been yelling about the obviousness of that for years

notbarryallen: you never told me

notadick: cause I didn’t know you know, idiot

notbarryallen: you never asked

notadick: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MiniDarhk: ladies and gentlemen, these two are boyfriends

notbarryallen: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

QueenZee: if that isn’t us though

MiniDarhk: hmm… it… is

MiniDarhk: sometimes

gayforray: I only now realized you two have matching names @notbarryallen @notadick

notbarryallen: 😂

notadick: 😂

Lancelot: Yeah you’re definitely not a Dick

Lancelot: On Earth-1 the Batfamily are all kinda gloomy and overly dramatic

rayofsunshine: You’re right!

rayofsunshine: Sometimes I forget you know all of those people.

Lancelot: I know Oliver and he knows them

monalisa: you know a lot of billionaires don’t you

Lancelot: I know Oliver and he knows them

MiniDarhk: 😂😂😂

Lancelot: And, you know, there’s one on our team too

gayforray: one and a half

QueenZee: thought you said you didn’t want your dad’s money

gayforray: maybe but I’m still the heir to it

notbarryallen: ok mood

Chapter Text



Trenchcoat: Who is fucking blasting Christmas songs loud enough for me to hear it in the library

MamaWaverider: Dr Palmer has requested me to play them while he’s working in the lab.

Trenchcoat: Tell him to sod off then

grunt: yeah I can hear it too

rayofsunshine: Well sorry guys, but it’s the end of December, it’s Christmas song time!

Lancelot: No it isn’t, thanks

trickstergoddess: yeah

QueenZee: they’re awful

rayofsunshine: Is there someone who likes them? Just me?

MiniDarhk: I like them

gayforray: so do I <3

rayofsunshine: Thank you!

notbarryallen: 🎄

notadick: oh no you too

QueenZee: we too what

notadick: have to listen to Christmas songs

gayforray: you go Wally

notadick: no don’t support him

notbarryallen: hey

notbarryallen: I wanna feel the atmosphere and all!

MiniDarhk: exclamation point?

QueenZee: question mark?

gayforray: miracles

notbarryallen: you have no idea what it looks like here in japan

notbarryallen: [image attached: xmastokyo.jpeg]

QueenZee: yikes

Lancelot: That’s worse than America and they don’t even celebrate Christmas

rayofsunshine: They do lately, but it’s mostly just commercial.

gayforray: exactly

trickstergoddess: bloody hell

trickstergoddess: do they listen to that rubbish kpop music everywhere

notadick: jpop but yeah

notbarryallen: I like it but I wanna feel our Christmas you know

notbarryallen: hence the songs

notadick: someone doesn’t like them

monalisa: who doesn’t like christmas songs

Lancelot: Us

MiniDarhk: most of us, you mean

Trenchcoat: Give me a punk Christmas song and I’ll listen to it but not the cheesy pop shite

trickstergoddess: amen

Lancelot: I can’t really imagine that though

gayforray: All I Want for Christmas Is You… but sang by a metal band

Trenchcoat: I didn’t say metal, I said punk

QueenZee: I’d take that too

notbarryallen: do you know that all I want for christmas is cash parody

monalisa: 😂 omg yeah

notadick: don’t. don’t play it.

gayforray: are you in the same room

notbarryallen: actually no but same house

gare-bear: Don’t get me started on Christmas songs parodies

monalisa: you???

gare-bear: I laugh at them

QueenZee: everyone has hobbies

Trenchcoat: Leave me out of this, please, love

gare-bear: Okay… 😥

monalisa: we can watch those at work together

gare-bear: I take you up on that 😁

MissTimeBureau: But reasonably, okay? We still have work to do, even before the holidays.

monalisa: oh sure… hahaha

MiniDarhk: you always show up at the right moment like

Lancelot: She’s secretly a stalker

MissTimeBureau: Hey, I’m not!

Lancelot: You are, always reading the chat

Jaxon: i mean same

gayforray: the only people who really don’t go here are Lily and Amaya

rayofsunshine: I did the research and found out you’re the one who talks the most here, Nate.

gayforray: I gotta say it… lol

gayforray: I’d say it’s Z or Wally

notbarryallen: me too tbh

rayofsunshine: You have around 1400 entries, the others have 1200 at best...

gayforray: eyebrows go up

Lancelot: There’s not an emoji for that, right

MiniDarhk: zee

QueenZee: you don’t use my emojis anyway

notbarryallen: *rainbow heart*

Trenchcoat: At least the music stopped

rayofsunshine: I used headphones since it bothers you so much.

Lancelot: It’s almost lunchtime anyway

MiniDarhk: yay

notbarryallen: it’s already tomorrow here

monalisa: time zones are almost like time travel 👀

gare-bear: …do you remember when you asked what the Time Bureau was and I told you we dealt with time zones

monalisa: yeah

MissTimeBureau: Well, technically that’s not entirely wrong.

rayofsunshine: Did anyone else think of the new Men In Black trailer?

gayforray: the lunchtime scene

QueenZee: I saw the movie like three times

notadick: so did we

notbarryallen: you weren’t supposed to say that

MiniDarhk: we know you downloaded them

notbarryallen: ik but not that we watched them

gayforray: n o spoilers, please

MiniDarhk: I didn’t see it

QueenZee: that’s a first

rayofsunshine: It’s not, she didn’t know Marvel movies.

MiniDarhk: ^^

trickstergoddess: whats men in black

gayforray: another classic we gotta watch

QueenZee: it’s about aliens

rayofsunshine: And really funny.

Trenchcoat: This time they’re going to London

gare-bear: I didn’t know you were a fan

Trenchcoat: Honestly, who hasn’t seen men in black

trickstergoddess: I didnt

gayforray: I’m looking forward to seeing Chris and Tessa together again

rayofsunshine: They were amazing in Ragnarok.

trickstergoddess: thats thor and valkyrie right

QueenZee: yup

monalisa: with the creatures around, time bureau kinda looks like mib, doesn’t it

MissTimeBureau: Well, we don’t have them parading around the hallways.

gayforray: maybe but it’s still similar

gayforray: you admitted to copying the neuralyzers

gare-bear: Yeah but shhh

MiniDarhk: since we’re talking movies

MiniDarhk: will we do another round of cringy xmas movies

Lancelot: You mean like Love Actually

Lancelot: Cause sure

grunt: yeah not interested

MissTimeBureau: Only if we do Home Alone.

gayforray: all of them? hell yeah

monalisa: also grinch

gayforray: all of them

rayofsunshine: Doctor Who Christmas specials

gayforray: a l l o f t h e m

notbarryallen: who else is pissed there’s not a special this year, only on new year’s day

gayforray: everyone?

gayforray: yeah now I get that I talk the most

QueenZee: it’s been a week and all we do is talk about christmas, why

grunt: I’m with you

Trenchcoat: Can’t believe I’m saying this but for once I agree with Rory

MiniDarhk: get your own chat then

notadick: don’t worry, it’ll pass on 12/26

Lancelot: I don’t like this much either but you know what we could do on 12/26

Trenchcoat: You mean Boxing Day

rayofsunshine: We don’t actually call it Boxing Day here.

trickstergoddess: hmm I see

QueenZee: @Lancelot what

Lancelot: Take the Waverider for another fun time travel trip

Lancelot: Like pride

Lancelot: Just because

gayforray: okay I love this

MiniDarhk: where

QueenZee: and when

monalisa: can I come with

rayofsunshine: Ooh, I want to see the Live Aid concert in 1985.

gayforray: YES BABY

Lancelot: Which one

rayofsunshine: Wembley.

gayforray: both

Trenchcoat: I’d actually go there too

rayofsunshine: Now that’s a first.

notbarryallen: someone watched bohemian rhapsody

rayofsunshine: Who says it’s because of that?

notbarryallen: is it

rayofsunshine: Yeah.

gayforray: I cried

gayforray: twice

notadick: you watch a lot of movies

MiniDarhk: that’s us

QueenZee: do you have any idea how many times those two watched the movie

notadick: twice?

rayofsunshine: Five times, actually.

Jaxon: wow

gayforray: what, it’s the movie of the century

monalisa: says a historian

gayforray: of this century

gayforray: star wars are still better

MiniDarhk: there are star wars in this century

gayforray: I mean the original trilogy

notbarryallen: don’t argue with a historian pls

gayforray: and you score

notbarryallen: also don’t use sports metaphors when you’re a historian

MiniDarhk: touché

Chapter Text



gayforray: so can I say it now

gayforray: merry Christmas y’all who celebrate it 🎅🏻🎁🎄

QueenZee: it’s not even Christmas yet

monalisa: it’s xmas eve let him live

monalisa: 🎅🏻🎁🎄

Lancelot: Merry Christmas

Lancelot: And you know what this means! Our softball and volleyball games

MissTimeBureau: Oh yes, I can’t wait.

Trenchcoat: To kick their arse

MissTimeBureau: I’m not saying that’s not true…

QueenZee: nuh-uh we got ready

trickstergoddess: yeah we actually practised and we werent absolute rubbish at it

rayofsunshine: Hey! I had the weirdest dream.

gayforray: always trust ray to change the subject, I keep saying

MiniDarhk: what dream 👀

rayofsunshine: Iron Man had an iron emblem on his chest and always came to single women’s houses to do the ironing if they had an emergency and those women kept falling for him and he was insanely proud of his ironing skills.

gayforray: iron man

gayforray: doing the IRONING

gayforray: genius

rayofsunshine: I know, right?

Lancelot: Sounds like something you’d dream about

MiniDarhk: I wish I had dreams like this

MamaWaverider: I can confirm that it’s all true, and that you missed a detail about Nora being one of the women.

MiniDarhk: hang on, gideon, ray dreamed about me

QueenZee: should I be jealous

gayforray: you were all in for the poly ship thing so

QueenZee: shouldn’t you be jealous

gayforray: nah

gayforray: I like Nora

monalisa: like or like like

notbarryallen: 👀

trickstergoddess: 👀

notadick: is this like a thing with you

MiniDarhk: possibly

gayforray: who knows anymore

trickstergoddess: im knackered

Trenchcoat: I don’t know about the rest of you but Charlie and I

QueenZee: we know

monalisa: @gayforray you never answered

gayforray: jeez, Mona

gayforray: we hang out

Lancelot: Are we talking about that big crush on Nora Ray definitely used to have

rayofsunshine: I’m dating Nate, it’s irrelevant now.

gare-bear: I thought everyone had a crush on everyone pretty much?

gayforray: basically

Trenchcoat: Keep living under that illusion, love

MiniDarhk: 😂

MiniDarhk: and no one asks me about my feelings

monalisa: I mean I can see right through the “there’s nothing between ray and me” bullshit so

MiniDarhk: ???

QueenZee: this is not how I imagined this morning to go

notbarryallen: u still in bed

QueenZee: yup

QueenZee: I’m lowkey scared what I’ll see when I walk out of the room

notadick: tinsel hell

grunt: that describes it well

notbarryallen: I described it well

Lancelot: To think Rick didn’t want to have anything to do with us

notadick: sometimes I get bored too

rayofsunshine: Are you insulting my decorations?

notbarryallen: not at all……

MiniDarhk: that’s a lot of periods

MissTimeBureau: Don’t talk about periods now, thanks.

MiniDarhk: sorry aves

MiniDarhk: also @Lancelot

Lancelot: She’s crankier than me can you believe

gayforray: oof

QueenZee: that’s a thing

MissTimeBureau: Shut up, yeah.

MissTimeBureau: We have an important game today.

gare-bear: I can never tell at work?

Lancelot: Ava’s a professional but try living with her

Lancelot: Not that I’m not here to make you feel better ;)

monalisa: do you want me to cheer you up or something, I’m good at that

MissTimeBureau: I could do with a pickle sandwich and a bit of combat training.

monalisa: well I can see to that sandwich 😄

gayforray: sparring sessions? okay I’m in

rayofsunshine: I don’t like that you’ll be playing against us.

gayforray: sorry babe but I gotta stick to the new team now

gayforray: it’s rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

monalisa: I’m glad you’re on our side

gare-bear: Yeah, bro!

gayforray: you have Zari and Charlie and Sara and… actually that’s it

notbarryallen: 😂

rayofsunshine: We have to convince Mick and John to join the team.

Lancelot: If we’re doing volleyball then yeah

Lancelot: Gary you’re on

gare-bear: Why me

QueenZee: you’re the one dating John so you have the most power over him

Trenchcoat: I can read this

gare-bear: What’s your answer then?

Trenchcoat: I can do magic but I really can’t do softball

Lancelot: Can you do volleyball

Trenchcoat: I’m more of a cricket guy myself

QueenZee: of course you are

grunt: I’m not playing your stupid games

MiniDarhk: I’d do it

MissTimeBureau: We agreed that’s a bad idea, Nora.

MiniDarhk: *sigh* I know

Lancelot: Well, we have three hours to figure it out

monalisa: what’s your favorite food and dessert @Trenchcoat

Trenchcoat: Sunday roast and raspberry scones

monalisa: true english classic

trickstergoddess: he bloody eats marmite, alright

Trenchcoat: You don’t like that

trickstergoddess: are you bonkers, it tastes like petroleum

gare-bear: I have to agree on this one

monalisa: if you play the game I’ll cook you a sunday roast and scones myself and bring it to the bureau

Trenchcoat: You’ve got me

rayofsunshine: If I knew that’s what it took…

monalisa: @grunt you too

Lancelot: He likes any food but mostly steaks

MiniDarhk: and stays away from veggies

monalisa: got it

grunt: hmm you really know me

grunt: I have to do it anyway don’t I

Lancelot: Pretty much, yeah

rayofsunshine: It’ll be fun!

MissTimeBureau: Speaking of, you should get your asses here for practice if you don’t want to come dead last right away.

QueenZee: I’m still in bed

MiniDarhk: don’t worry, I’ll get you out of it

trickstergoddess: want me to help

notbarryallen: now you’re really wishing I were there huh

gayforray: um yeah

Trenchcoat: Is no one talking about Zari, Nora, and Charlie all in one room together

Trenchcoat: Sounds like the usual legends gossip

Lancelot: You’re right

monalisa: hmmm 👀

notbarryallen: my my you’ve gone slow

rayofsunshine: Now you’re spreading the gossip. You’ve become a true Legend, John.

Trenchcoat: I have, haven’t I

Trenchcoat: Bollocks

QueenZee: please don’t be bollocks at volleyball

MissTimeBureau: Or do.

gare-bear: Tssh spite drives this one

MiniDarhk: oh really

gayforray: whose side you’re on exactly, Gary

gare-bear: Uh, both…?

MissTimeBureau: You gotta pick, Gary.

gare-bear: I’m on our side don’t fire me

MissTimeBureau: That’s better.

gayforray: you’re asking a bisexual to choose though, that never ends well

notbarryallen: 😂 🙌🏾

MissTimeBureau: Well, Nate, I could ask you the same question.

gayforray: don’t worry, boss, all feeling go aside today 😈

rayofsunshine: That won’t end up well.

Lancelot: No kidding

Lancelot: So are we going or do I need to tell Gideon to shock your butts with static electricity

QueenZee: we’re going and we’re going to win

Chapter Text

They were certainly not winning.

The score was 22:10 in favour of the Time Bureau—or one of their three teams, anyway.

The ragtag team the Legends have managed to form using all sorts of bribery wasn’t entirely terrible, thank you very much, but they were no match for Ava, Nate, and four field agents who do this sort of thing every Wednesday. They only earned that tenth point because Agent Kaminski landed his serve outside the court.

Zari clapped her hands and tried to cheer them on. ‘Come on, guys, pulling miracles in impossible situations in kind of our jam, so don’t give up yet!’

If they were going to lose anyway, they could lose with a lower margin.

John rolled his eyes. It was weird seeing him in shorts. It was weirder seeing Mick in shorts.

‘Yeah, we can still win! We’ve faced worse odds before,’ Ray said. He picked up the ball and waited for the whistle, sweaty and determined. From the other side, Nate blew him a kiss. Then Mona sounded it and he successfully drove the ball into Ava’s arms. They passed it around, and then Agent Kim attacked. It bumped into John, who wasn’t fast enough to do anything about it.


Charlie and Sara gave him the side-eye. ‘Told you I was a cricket guy. The only reason I’m doing this is cos I’m getting a meal out of it,’ he said. Ava looked entirely too pleased with herself.

She served now. Sara could handle it, but her blows were really hard and fast, and she never failed. Zari and Ray shared a Look. Oh boy. Here we go.

Except Ava used a different strategy and aimed at Zari. She was not anticipating that. The ball bounced off her hands somehow and flew forward, right in that empty area between the back and front rows. Charlie and Mick both ran for it, and collided with a gasp.

Charlie huffed, ‘I’m sorry, I thought—’

‘That was mine,’ he grumbled and frowned at her. Oddly enough, he did take it seriously once they started playing.

Luckily, Sara’s assassin reflexes kicked in, and she sent the ball flying with just enough momentum to make it over the net. Nice save, Zari thought. But then there was Nate, who was a bitch when it came to volleyball, as they all found out with their faces turning into the human form of the shocked emoji.

He didn’t pass the ball. He lightly nudged it back onto their court so there were just millimetres between it and the net. Charlie wasn’t at her post yet. Ray didn’t have superspeed. Zari couldn’t use her totem.


Maybe they were entirely terrible.

But hey, this was just the first set. They could still turn things around later, right? As the Time Bureau softball T-shirts said, they did things chronologically. There was plenty of time for them to up their game and come up with a proper plan yet.

Charlie kicked the ball over to Ava. She served again. This time, she decided to go easy on them and send the ball toward Sara, who passed it to Mick, who passed it to Charlie. She attacked. Nate and Lana Kim blocked it. Charlie hit it again, this time passing it behind her. Probably on accident.

Ray set it and Mick sent it behind the front row players. Agents Kaminski and Crews were ready for it. The ball was John’s. He put his hands up and somehow passed it overhand. Ava bumped it. It flew at Kim. She passed it to Nate. He sent it right into Ray’s face, boyfriend or no boyfriend.

Zari flinched. But Ray saved it. Charlie passed it to John, and somehow, wonderfully, he gained them the eleventh point. It touched the floor before someone managed to make a dive for it.

The other team switched positions. Agent Crews served. It was 24:11. They just needed that one point to win. Nate was staring at Mick and actually smirking.

Sara handled the serve again. The teams passed the ball between them for almost a minute this time, until, inevitably, Zari sent it at the wall because it was too fast and her brain didn’t figure out what to do on time.

There was an actual fucking buzzer at the scorer’s table. Mona pressed it. The awful sound resonated through the gym, like an anthem to the Legends’ crushing defeat. The other team immediately formed a circle of high fives and cheers.

Zari wanted to crawl into the ground. It was her mistake.

Then the Legends were round her too, saying it didn’t matter.

‘Don’t give up, you said it yourself,’ Ray said.

Yeah, okay, let’s face it—they’ll most likely lose the next set too, and then the third. But they can’t give up. They’re the Legends, goddammit. ‘You’re right,’ she nodded.

‘Let’s go out in style,’ said Sara, and she took the words right out of Zari’s mind. Because no matter how humiliating the defeat actually was, it was also an utter and undeniable fun, and that was what this was about in the first place. She wished she had her phone, because some of the moments were truly priceless and group chat video worthy.

Ray walked over to the bench. They followed him and drank from their water bottles or, in Mick’s case, a bottle that should but definitely didn’t contain water.

‘No, even better, let’s finally show them who’s boss,’ he said and cracked a smile. Wow. That was rare.

Charlie gave him a friendly bump on the arm. ‘Yeah. This time we’ll score at least 15 points.’

‘Let’s go Legends!’

Chapter Text

It was almost even worth it.

Getting involved in an embarrassing, pointless team event on bloody Christmas Eve for a Sunday roast on a Monday with Gary and Mona when he hated Christmas. It brought back memories he wanted to keep buried deep, deep down.

It always did. Every year, he remembered. When he was on his own, or with Chas, he could just eat lots of food and drink his way into oblivion, or maybe pick up another lonely person at the bar and have a nice shag before sending them back out. But he wasn’t alone this year.

The Legends. They decorated the ship and baked gingerbread and sang along to awful songs and had a fucking Secret Santa thing going on, radiating the cheery happiness and family spirit that was what Christmas was about for everyone else. And they made him take part in all that.

They didn’t know.


His father had yelled at him to get him another beer and set the table or else. His sister had watched it all in fear and never did anything about it. He had lit the tree on fire once, because he’d just had enough and found rage he’s never seen before within him, aimed at him. The hits he’d earned for that left marks. The only presents he got had been from Cheryl. Dinner had usually been mashed potatoes and some chicken or beef of questionable origin. He had often cried in bed on Christmas Day evening.

He hadn’t known magic back then, and he wished he had. Maybe it would have been different.


‘Earth to John,’ Gary said, concerned, waving his hand in front of his face.

Mona leant forward and looked him in the eye, a piece of potato on her fork. ‘Are you okay?’

Course I’m okay, love, it’s Christmas and I’ve got you two in my bed before we even had a drink, he wanted to say, be his usual flirty self. Instead, he turned to her and said, ‘Have a guess, sweetheart.’

‘Oh no, is the sports tournament? I’m sorry you came last—’

He cut Gary off. ‘I don’t give a fuck about the bloody tournament, Gary, I only played to get this,’ he pointed at the plate in his lap, ‘it’s delicious, by the way, you’re an amazing cook,’ he told Mona. ‘It’s this. All the sodding decorations and Ray being even more chirpy than usual. Christmas isn’t a good time for me.’

Fuck, he really needed that drink.

Mona laid her fork onto her plate, not eating the potato. Her hand touched John’s arm. ‘You should’ve said something. I didn’t know, the chat made it sound like—I’m sorry.’

Gary shuffled closer to him and managed to turn his plate over. He got Yorkshire puddings and potatoes all over himself and the duvet they were sitting on, resting their back against the wall. ‘Oh, shoot,’ he said as he collected the mess. Then, ‘Do you wanna talk about it?’

‘No.’ He ate a piece of meat.

‘Okay, I know what you need,’ said Mona, getting up. She tore down all the light chains and tinsel Ray had installed into every single room on the ship, bathroom included. It lay on the table in a chaotic heap. ‘There. Now, where do you keep the alcohol?’

He pointed at the first drawer in his desk. She fished out a bottle and returned on the bed, no glasses. It ended up in his hands, and a minute later, he took three gulps.

Gary took it from him. He still hasn’t learnt how to drink and not throw up. ‘Don’t drink too much,’ John reminded him. Gary did probably drink too much. He was Gary. Then he passed it to Mona, his whole body pressing against John’s.

‘It was my arsehole father, the reason I hate this bloody holiday so much. It was a nightmare growing up the way I did, with good ol’ Tommy Constantine.’ He spiked another piece of beef on a fork. He scoffed at his pathetic life.

And we’re not even talking about Neron, who still haunted his dreams.

‘John, I’m so sorry,’ they both said, and laughed at it. Mona gave him the bottle. ‘Here, have more of this and one of those scones.’

He drank. There wasn’t much whisky left when he was done.

So it was the usual then, anyway. Only he wasn’t in a pub, and they weren’t random strangers.

‘Yeah, this is gonna be the best Christmas ever, because it’s not gonna be Christmas at all,’ Gary said excitedly. ‘I mean, I’m Jewish, so. Don’t care about it anyway.’

‘And I can always celebrate with the Legends later. Now eat up and give that to me.’ She took a sip, and then another, and then offered the rest to Gary, who, stupidly enough, didn’t refuse and downed it with a grimace.

‘I appreciate it, but you don’t have to,’ John said.

‘You really think that?’ Gary asked. His mouth stretched into that big, contagious smile of his. ‘Told you before. Badass agent. I can handle it. We’re amazing.’

He leant in to kiss him.

The alcohol was definitely starting to work its effect on him. John, too. ‘Gideon, play some music. You know the drill. Thanks.’

‘Of course, Mr Constantine,’ the AI said somewhere from the ceiling, and a second later, a faint tune he didn’t actually recognise but certainly liked started playing. It was a hundred times better than the horrible Christmas songs that played at the Bureau all day. Thousand times better.

‘I like this,’ Mona said to no one in particular. She ate some more of the roast. ‘I’m giving up Christmas songs for this, you know. I’m serious.’

‘I still don’t understand how you can intentionally listen to those,’ he shook his head.

‘I mostly listen to the parodies, but like, those songs are all positive and about love, and just, it’s kind of my vibe, you know? Ugly sweaters, too much eggnog, Last Christmas on repeat. I’m a romantic.’

John nudged Gary, who was struggling with cutting the meat and sort of just staring at it. ‘So is he. You should be together and forget about the old sod I am.’

‘You’re joking right now, right? Are you joking?’ Gary’s head and, subsequently, eyebrows shot up. ‘I like Mona. A lot. I mean. But I love you, John. Too. I love you too. Fuck—’

He wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not, but he knew that Gary was even more adorable when he was drunk, right before he started babbling about utter nonsense and then inevitably ended up speeding to the toilet.

‘When will you finally believe it when we say we’re not leaving?’ Mona put her arm round John’s shoulders. Her hand touched Gary’s shoulder. ‘We’re here to make up for the bullshit from your childhood and fix Christmas for you. I’ve made that my personal mission five minutes ago.’

She kissed his cheek. The spot tingled. He looked at her.

‘This is a terrible idea,’ he said. ‘You don’t know anything about my childhood, and trust me, you don’t want to. I’m fucked up, and I fuck others up too.’

‘I work with magical creatures. You do magic. Gary catches those creatures. We all play D&D. We’re more alike than you think, because guess what, I grew up with three siblings and no dad and I had to work since I was 14, and I still became the person I am now. You don’t know anything about me either.’

‘And she called you the third coolest person she met,’ Gary offered. John’s gaze travelled from her to him and then back at her. No one was eating now. He wasn’t really hungry anymore.

‘Yeah, I did,’ Mona admitted with a smile. ‘Cause it’s true. About both of you.’

Gary’s response was a grin even wider. ‘No one ever called me cool before!’

Screw it, John thought. This whole emotional support group and alcohol combination was working. Even if he was a lost cause, damned to hell, damaged, hating Christmas. That wouldn’t change, but maybe it could shut the memories up for a bit.

Almost worth it.

He kissed Gary again. ‘You’re a cool bloke, Gary.’ Mona’s arm was still wrapped round his neck. He looked her in the eye and raised one eyebrow.

She moved first. It was a chaste kiss, really. She pulled away quickly and asked, mainly Gary, ‘Is this okay? I don’t know, I’ve never, it’s confusing…’

Gary put his plate down again, this time not spilling anything. Awkwardly, he scooted forward on the bed and got up. He took two steps to the side and stopped right in front of her. John watched the situation unfold, thinking he could use a smoke.

He knew he was right about those two. But maybe they weren’t so different…?

And it was something all of the group chat said, too.

Gary kissed Mona, and it was less chaste.

John’s personal experience was that these relationships rarely lasted. He’s been thinking about it, and he thought about it even now. It was the whisky, most likely, but he just wanted to join them, damn what comes next. He had a history of falling for shiny people who were better than him.

He felt a tightness in his heart. And, okay, trousers, too.

Gary pulled away. ‘Wow, okay, I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,’ he told her. He looked at John, and was that guilt in his eyes?

‘You’ve got nothing to be guilty about, love,’ John said.

‘I’m gonna get us more alcohol.’ Taking slightly wobbly steps, he walked to the desk and took an identical bottle out of the second drawer. It was full, still stamped. ‘We’re gonna have the best non-Christmas Christmas ever, John.’

In that moment, John chose to believe him.

Chapter Text



MiniDarhk: how was post-volleyball rebound sex

notbarryallen: jumping straight to the good questions

gare-bear: Great

MiniDarhk: I wasn’t asking you

gayforray: ahem 😊

gayforray: how do you know

MiniDarhk: heard it

QueenZee: you were loud af do you realize that

notbarryallen: literally

rayofsunshine: Oh dear.

Lancelot: And no one asks me

gare-bear: Or me

Lancelot: We all played against our SOs

QueenZee: and was it a massacre

MissTimeBureau: I told you, a game is a game.

gayforray: all feelings aside

trickstergoddess: we saw

MiniDarhk: that’s why you were so loud

grunt: I got no rebound sex

QueenZee: should’ve told Charlie

trickstergoddess: bet he was busy with his right hand

notadick: what is happening here 🤦🏻♂️

notbarryallen: a normal conversation

MiniDarhk: okay avalance how was your rebound sex

Lancelot: Beyond great

MissTimeBureau: I… don’t want to talk about it.

gayforray: hmmmm

Trenchcoat: I bet you didn’t have any sex at all

Lancelot: Excuse me, we did

gare-bear: So did we

MiniDarhk: again, no one wants to know

MiniDarhk: no news

monalisa: we had a threesome

MiniDarhk: news

MiniDarhk: me want to know

notbarryallen: lol

gayforray: 👀

Lancelot: 👀

QueenZee: wait what

notbarryallen: finally

MiniDarhk: ot3 got together, shouldn’t you say

notbarryallen: hey

notadick: seriously is this a normal conversation

Trenchcoat: Yes

gare-bear: There was alcohol and food and well

gayforray: how aren’t you freaking out more

monalisa: he is

MiniDarhk: you’re still here omg

Trenchcoat: [image attached: inbed.jpeg]

QueenZee: k I didn’t need to see that

MissTimeBureau: Me neither.

trickstergoddess: but I did

Lancelot: It’s gonna be alright, Aves

notbarryallen: anyway it’s christmas for real today

rayofsunshine: Some countries celebrate it on Christmas Eve.

notadick: earth-18 does too

Jaxon: merry xmas weirdos

gayforray sent a GIF

Lancelot: You weirdoes should come and have breakfast

grunt: only if there’s cookies

MiniDarhk: do you have any idea how long we spent baking

MamaWaverider: Or giving me precise instructions.

grunt: long?

rayofsunshine: There are cookies, Mick.

monalisa: and my scones

Trenchcoat: Did you make the shortbread

Lancelot: We have like ten kinds of cookies

Trenchcoat: I’m also gonna see a tonne of lights and decorations, aren’t I

monalisa: yeah

gayforray: you were here yesterday

gare-bear: Yeah, but we’re doing a non-Christmas Christmas

monalisa: none of that for john

monalisa: we took it all off

QueenZee: you’re my kind of people

QueenZee: sorry Nora

MiniDarhk my ugly sweater and I are happy in ray’s decorated world

rayofsunshine: 💛

gayforray: can I ask why

Trenchcoat: It’s personal

rayofsunshine: I didn’t know it bothered you so much.

Trenchcoat: It’s fine, Ray, we’re coming

gare-bear: To the kitchen

rayofsunshine: Yeah, I figured.

notbarryallen: did you get boring you don’t even react to obvious innuendos anymore

Lancelot: Don’t insult us

MiniDarhk: I’m thinking more of breakfast than of reading this

QueenZee: same

notbarryallen: you turned into mick 😂

gayforray: we still talk here though

grunt: I talk here

gayforray: not as much as us

rayofsunshine: New topic: when do we leave for Sara and Ava’s? Do we bring anything?

MissTimeBureau: I think around 5?

Lancelot: Bring the food

QueenZee: obviously

MissTimeBureau: We’ve already got the turkey.

Lancelot: And lots of alcohol

Trenchcoat: Good

gayforray: do we take the presents

MiniDarhk: do we even have all the presents

rayofsunshine: We all have two, how hard can that be?

Trenchcoat: You’d be surprised, mate

grunt: yeah

Lancelot: Aww you all got me an extra present

trickstergoddess: what makes you think that

Lancelot: It’s my birthday ;)

QueenZee: you got us

MiniDarhk: happy birthday ✨

notbarryallen: yeah happy birthday 🎂🎈🎊🎉

notadick: happy bday from me too

Jaxon: have a good one and dont drink too much ;)

MamaWaverider: Happy birthday, Captain.

monalisa: aww happy bday sara!!! 🎂🎈🎊🎉

Lancelot: Thanks 💖

notbarryallen: it would be funny if a creature popped up right now

gayforray: don’t say that

rayofsunshine: Yeah, we have a history of jinxing it.

MiniDarhk: you do

QueenZee: ^^

notbarryallen: jeez sorry

notbarryallen: did anything happen? no

notadick: it still could

rayofsunshine: So how about you, how are you celebrating?

notadick: it’s almost 12/26 here

notbarryallen: we’re watching a movie in bed

monalisa: what movie

notbarryallen: die hard

gayforray: ahh, a Jake Peralta Christmas

MiniDarhk: noice

QueenZee: okay look at this delish

QueenZee: [image attached: cookiebreakfast.jpeg]

notbarryallen: I want

monalisa: boys we should go there and have some of those

gare-bear: Ooh definitely

Lancelot: You’re so slow

gare-bear: We’re hungover

gayforray: yikes

MiniDarhk: did you throw up @gare-bear

gare-bear: I did

Trenchcoat: You shouldn’t’ve drank so much, love, I told you

gayforray: I never thought John could sound like a caring husband but here we are

notbarryallen: you’re right 😂

MiniDarhk: development 👍🏻

notbarryallen: okay I know you’re all there but we aren’t so allow me to say a few words

notbarryallen: 2018 was a great year for us, we didn’t screw up that much, we all found love and in those last 4 months we all became better people so I don’t care we’re out of sync I just wanna say ily

QueenZee: ❤️

gayforray: ily too buddy

Lancelot: I think we can thank Ray’s distracting chat for this

rayofsunshine: I told you it was going to be fun!

MiniDarhk: oh it is 👀

gayforray: for real, though

gayforray: 4 months ago, we didn’t know we were all LGBT, John hated us, Nora wasn’t here, neither of us were together except for Sara and Ava, you were all shipping Ray and me and we didn’t get it, this was way too sexual… what a mood

MiniDarhk: amen

QueenZee: it’s still way too sexual but ok

Trenchcoat: 😉

Chapter Text



notbarryallen: is it late enough for me to ask what presents you got

Lancelot: I got a lot of ‘em

gayforray: fucking socks

rayofsunshine: Socks are a nice present.

notbarryallen: was it mick

gayforray: yup

rayofsunshine: I got two spiked bracelets from Charlie.

QueenZee: a plaid shirt with donuts on it

notbarryallen: clever

Lancelot: I know

QueenZee: thanks, Sara 🍩 ❤️

grunt: a box of beers, I think it was from pretty

MissTimeBureau: A book from Nora, and two other presents from Sara.

MiniDarhk: aves and I had each other

MiniDarhk: in secret santa

MiniDarhk: and you’ll never believe what she got me!!!

notbarryallen: 👀

rayofsunshine: God, that was such an emotional moment.

gayforray: [video attached: noracrying.mp4]

notbarryallen: you’re officially not in time bureau prison WAHT

notadick: congrats?

MiniDarhk: I don’t have to hide anymore I’m still in TEARS

monalisa: 😚😚😚

MissTimeBureau: It was the least I could do, Nora.

MiniDarhk: I kinda platonically love you a lot

MissTimeBureau: ❤️

monalisa: 😊

monalisa: ray gave me a cool pink headband

rayofsunshine: I’m glad you like it!

trickstergoddess: I got earrings from gary

trickstergoddess: love em

Lancelot: Where are Gary and John again

trickstergoddess: shagging in the bathroom for all I know

gayforray: John went out to have a smoke and Gary went with him

notbarryallen: are you parked in dc

QueenZee: yeah

MiniDarhk: at the bureau

gayforray: just in case

Lancelot: There’s lots of alcohol here

notbarryallen: oh yeah 😉

notbarryallen: I got four presents from rick and a surprise one from my family

notbarryallen: one was a polaroid camera

notadick: you’re making a fuss 🙄

notbarryallen: sara didn’t share hers either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lancelot: Clothes, slippers, a knife from John, a book, some sex toys ;)

MiniDarhk: from ava 😉

MissTimeBureau: You don’t have to tell everyone.

Lancelot: Everyone saw me unwrapping it

Trenchcoat: True ;)

QueenZee: tell Wally what you got

QueenZee: from me 😉

Trenchcoat: A tie with pentagrams

Trenchcoat: Very funny

notbarryallen: but it is

gare-bear: I got three Marvel Funko Pops!!! I’m so happy!!!

monalisa: 😘

gare-bear: 😘

gayforray: and y’all didn’t want to do secret santa

rayofsunshine: Yes, it was fun in the end, right?

Lancelot: I admit it

MiniDarhk: it was

monalisa: definitely 👀

Trenchcoat: It wasn’t a terrible waste of my time, anyway

gare-bear: Oh please, love

monalisa: shopping for those presents was great

gayforray: it’s gonna be even worse than before when those three are dating now, isn’t it


monalisa: idk what you’re talking about…haha…

notbarryallen: enjoy it ;)

MiniDarhk: you enjoy reading it

notbarryallen: definitely

notadick: this chat is like a soap opera


gayforray: I mean it was Lily but yeah

notadick: who’s lily

rayofsunshine: The daughter of a former Legend.

MiniDarhk: @MiniStein

MiniStein: Hi, I’m sorry, how long has it been?

MiniDarhk: long

MiniDarhk: you don’t even wish us merry xmas

MiniStein: Try working while having a year-old baby and making the holidays perfect for your family.

rayofsunshine: Merry Christmas, Lily!

MiniStein: @notadick I did say that once 😄

notbarryallen: look who is wishing you merry christmas

notbarryallen: [image attached: westfamilychat.png]

QueenZee: the Wests have a messenger group

rayofsunshine: Did you copy my idea 👀

gayforray: you used the eYE EMOJI

gayforray: say hi from me

Lancelot: Yeah, from me too

notbarryallen: iris copied your idea

notbarryallen: and I did 👍🏾

notbarryallen: [image attached: westfamilychat2.png]

notbarryallen: [image attached: westfamilychat3.png]

Lancelot: They sent a dinner selfie aww

MiniDarhk: allen’s face 😂

QueenZee: we should do one too

gayforray: oh definitely

Lancelot: Okay

QueenZee: [image attached: legendsdinner.jpeg]

notbarryallen: permission to send it to the fam

rayofsunshine: Go for it!

rayofsunshine: I’m just saying, a group chat with all the heroes wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

Trenchcoat: And I’m saying it would be

QueenZee: I agree

Lancelot: I forbid you to make it, Ray

rayofsunshine: I got it the last time.

notbarryallen: barry says “cool sweaters” and iris says you’re cute

notbarryallen: and I agree

monalisa: the sweaters were my idea 😄

MiniDarhk: our idea, you mean

Trenchcoat: They’re a menace if you ask me

monalisa: we had our non-christmas christmas yesterday and today morning, you gotta suffer a bit now 😉

QueenZee: with me

Trenchcoat: 🖕🏻

monalisa: 💖

gare-bear: 💙

notadick: don’t worry Wally put me in one too

notadick: [image attached: disgraces.jpeg]

gayforray: did you send that to the West chat, Wally 👀

notbarryallen: of course

monalisa: you’re adorable

notadick: we’re not

notbarryallen: we are babe

notadick: 🙄

notbarryallen: okay so since we’re at it

notbarryallen: we’re going to korea after new year’s

notadick: this week we’ll travel the nature and less known placed in Japan

notbarryallen: then it’s goodbye 🇯🇵 hello 🇰🇷

notadick: it’s been really nice here but if we want to travel all of Asia in a year

Lancelot: You what

gayforray: wow, that sounds cool

MiniDarhk: ambitious

monalisa: how do you get the money though

notbarryallen: we stay with people and help them and stuff so we save a lot

notadick: no expensive hotels

notbarryallen: that was just tokyo

MamaWaverider: That sounds great.

notbarryallen: it is 👌🏾

gare-bear: Does is beat time travel though

notbarryallen: yes cause we don’t run into monsters

QueenZee: rude

gayforray: that’s not our fault

Lancelot: And we still have fun

Trenchcoat: I think you’re forgetting it is your fault

grunt: trenchcoat’s right

rayofsunshine: Maybe it is, but we always fix it!

grunt: by creating a bigger problem

QueenZee: that’s future us’ problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MiniStein: I’m a little worried about that attitude.

grunt: yeah, what’s next, aliens

gayforray: those are Supergirl’s problem

gayforray: maybe the dead?

QueenZee: the government

MiniDarhk: robots

rayofsunshine: Do you know something we don’t?

QueenZee: nope…

Lancelot: Time is fluid, anyway, it can still change

trickstergoddess: were the experts on that, arent we, john-o

Trenchcoat: So I made a bloody mistake once

monalisa: that can happen to anyone

QueenZee: I’m never forgiving you for the cat though

Trenchcoat: I don’t need you too, you deserved it

QueenZee: so did you

Trenchcoat: I admit that

Lancelot: Anyway

Lancelot: Let’s fire it up a bit

grunt: drinking games

MiniDarhk: yes

gayforray: no…

notbarryallen: have fun 😉

Lancelot: We’re not doing drinking games

Lancelot: But we are drinking

rayofsunshine: To us!

Chapter Text



rayofsunshine: Who else is sick???

MiniDarhk: three question marks

MiniDarhk: you are

QueenZee: not me

Lancelot: Obviously

gayforray: I’ve got a bit of a headache but

grunt: never

rayofsunshine: There is a reason I don’t drink…

QueenZee: don’t listen to John 👏

Trenchcoat: Yeah, everything’s always on me

notbarryallen: what did you do 👀

Lancelot: Got Ray drunk, what do you think

notbarryallen: ooooofff

rayofsunshine: That’s exactly how I feel.

MamaWaverider: Don’t worry, Dr Palmer, I can fabricate the perfect soup to make you feel better.

MiniDarhk: okay I feel like we should be the one to care

MiniDarhk: right

gayforray: yeah now I feel bad

notadick: you should, you’re his boyfriend

gayforray: I said I had a headache…

rayofsunshine: It’s okay, babe.

Lancelot: So, on another note

Lancelot: Are we doing the concert today?

rayofsunshine: I feel like curling up in bed and doing nothing all day, but sure, let’s go see the biggest concert in history.

gayforray: aw no, we don’t have to

gayforray: I’m all for staying in bed with you

MiniDarhk: of course you are ;)

QueenZee: we can always go tomorrow

trickstergoddess: this is a time machine

Lancelot: Time ship

grunt: same thing

notbarryallen: k I might be a bit slow but how did john get ray drunk

gayforray: says a speedster

monalisa: uhh do you really wanna know

Lancelot: I’ve got a video

rayofsunshine: Oh no.

Trenchcoat: I agree

Lancelot: [video attached: dare.mp4]

notbarryallen: yikes that’s tough

notadick: I’m kinda laughing though

notbarryallen: I mean same 😂

MiniDarhk: we all were yesterday

rayofsunshine: It was really disgusting.

gayforray: it’s tequila what do you want

Lancelot: But tequila is fun

grunt: did you at least punch somebody or make out with them

gayforray: idk about the punching part but there was definitely some making out 😉

gare-bear: Here too 😉

notbarryallen: did he pour tequila into you too

Trenchcoat: I wouldn’t do that

monalisa: Gary can’t hold it and we know better

gare-bear: 👍💖

gayforray: why did you do it to Ray then

MiniDarhk: you encouraged him and don’t pretend you didn’t

gayforray: hehe

Trenchcoat: He wouldn’t if he didn’t want to

Trenchcoat: And it’s Christmas

Lancelot: Don’t you hate Christmas

Trenchcoat: Exactly

rayofsunshine: Can someone please bring me breakfast?

gayforray: on it

gayforray: I’m bringing Gideon’s soup

rayofsunshine: God, I love you so much.

gayforray: it’s fine if you call me Nate 😉

MiniDarhk: 😂

monalisa: 😂

gayforray: I love you too

rayofsunshine: I’ve also been thinking, where’s Ava? Wasn’t she here?

MiniDarhk: she’s having an actual irl conversation with us in the galley

notbarryallen: that’s rare these days

rayofsunshine: Makes sense.

QueenZee: I love how nothing can make you lose the proper grammar

MiniDarhk: not even a killer hangover

rayofsunshine: It hurts a bit, but I can’t help it.

monalisa: I hope you’ll get better soon

rayofsunshine: Thank you! Me too!

Trenchcoat: I feel like I should apologise

grunt: it was fun seeing haircut get drunk

rayofsunshine: Never again.

MiniDarhk: new year’s eve is in five days

notadick: time travelers celebrate that

gayforray: some of us run on 2018 time

monalisa: yeah

grunt: and it’s another excuse for getting super drunk

gayforray: what do you say, should we hit star labs again

Lancelot: For a New Year’s Eve celebration

rayofsunshine: I’d love to