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You Are So Strong Stiles

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After we managed to get rid of the nogitsune I was left on my own. I know the things that happened while the nogitsune possessed my body weren’t my fault, but if I’d only been stronger then none of this would have happened. I know the pack doesn’t mean it, but they fear me. I’ve begun to notice the distance kept between me and anyone else. I haven’t left the house since the accident. Dad is allowing for me to stay home while I recover. I began to do my work online. It’s already been two weeks and I haven’t gotten so much as a text from anyone except from my dad, and even then it’s so he could tell me he’ll be working more hours. It’s almost as bad as when mom died. Except now I know what to expect and I'm not completely incapable of caring for myself. It’s another night by myself as I sit on my bed watching Netflix. I stopped bothering with trying to sleep until my body is absolutely exhausted. The nightmares keep me from resting anyways. I eat some cheetos from the bowl next to me as I click on the next episode. I'm distracted from my computer by a small sound coming from outside. Putting aside my laptop I slip out of bed and head towards the window where I see Derek standing. Open the window, I stick my head slightly out careful not to hit my head. “Derek? What are you doing here? I thought you left? Is something wrong?” Derek made a shushing sound and motioned towards the front of the house. I nod and manage to hit my head as I straighten up. Glaring at the window I close it and rush downstairs and straight into a wall. “Whaa?” Stepping back from the wall, which unsurprisingly turns out to be Derek, I peer around his shoulder to see the door closed and locked. “How’d you get in? The doors locked!” I exclaim. “Well aren’t you just so observant” Derek drawled. Scoffing I turn towards the kitchen and grab a water bottle from the fridge. Turning around I see Derek leaning against the wall and staring at me while furrowing his eyebrows and what looks like concern in his eyes though that's impossible. “Have you been sleeping?” He takes a step towards me before pausing and just giving me that stare. “Why do you care? And you still haven’t answered any of my questions.” I look at the water bottle in my hand and hold it up to Derek in offering. “When’s the last time you ate?” Derek came up to me and took me by the arm and sat me down. I just sat there, dumbfounded. What was going on? Considering he still hasn’t answered any of my questions I decide to just sit here like an obedient puppy and look at him in puzzlement instead. “Where’s all of your food?” Derek calls from where his head is slightly inside the open fridge. “I haven’t had the opportunity to really leave the house so the food went all bad.” I shrug. Sighing Derek shakes his head as he turns to look at me. After a bit of contemplating Derek seems to make up his mind. He gives a firm nod and starts stalking towards me. “Umm, should I be worried? You’re walking towards me with your murder face and as much as I dread life I do wish to stay alive!” A slightly panicked yelp leaves me as im suddenly grabbed and thrown over a shoulder. “Oh my gosh! You totally just pulled a caveman on me. Though, you still haven't killed me so I'm really hoping this isn’t to take me to your evil lair where you will torture me for answers.” Derek grunts in answer and opens the door where he proceeds to lock it after himself and head towards his car. And seriously? When did he get the key to my house!? Well, at least the view wasn’t so bad. I resisted against reaching out and grabbing a handful of his ass. I had better self-control than that. There was a small movement as I was shifted a bit so Derek could reach into his front pocket for his keys and unlock his car. Upon opening the door I was set onto my feet and promptly pushed into the car. “Hey! Watch the merchandise. I'm a delicate flower and shouldn’t be treated so roughly” I said as he opened his own door and got in. “Sooo, not that I care, but mind telling me where we’re going?” I question while putting my seat belt on. Safety first! “You clearly haven’t been taking of yourself so I'm taking you back to the loft where you're going to eat, shower and sleep. Things you’ve clearly missed doing whatever it is that you've been up to.” Huffing, I try to discreetly smell my shirt when I meet his eyes. I huff again and roll my eyes at his smug expression. With a small smile, I turn my head and snuggle into the seat as we ride to the loft in comfortable silence. Upon arriving, I quickly jump out of the car and follow after Derek as he starts trudging up the stairs after locking the car. Unlocking the door to the loft he looks at me and motions towards the living room. I walk in and stand in the middle waiting for Derek to say something. “Go into the restroom and shower. There’s already a clean towel on the hanger for you to use and I’ll leave some clothes for when you’re done.” Grinning I nod in thanks and bound for the restroom where I proceed to shower. True to his word there are outside the door and once I'm done dressing I head downstairs while rubbing the last of the water from my hair. “You letting it grow out?” I look towards the couch where Derek is sitting. “Growing what out?” I rub against my chin though I still can’t manage to grow out any facial hair. “I meant your hair stiles,” Derek says letting a small smile grace his features. Smiling really does his over the top attractiveness even better. And, are those bunny teeth I see? Squinting my eyes I smile at him. I tend to be doing that a lot. I haven’t smiled in a long time and yet here I am. Barely a half hour later with Derek and already I haven’t been plagued with any dark thoughts. “Yeah, I thought maybe it'll be a positive change after everything.” Derek cocked an eyebrow which I wasn’t even aware that he could do. “Positive growth? Sounds symbolic.” Shrugging I head over to the small coffee table in front of the couch where I grab a plate that has some good looking spaghetti on it. “Mmm! I wasn’t aware that you could cook Sourwolf!” I quickly begin stuffing my mouth. Man, I was either really hungry or this wasn’t the first time that Derek's cooked. “Umm, yeah. I used to work as a chef over in New York.” Derek said around a mouthful of food. “Wait, really? You mean to tell me that you could cook delicious food this whole time!” I explain giddy. Oh, this is great! We could have cooking competitions and food wars!! Though, that is assuming that he’ll want me around. Or that he actually is staying. But I mean, who would want me around? Nobody else has so why would he? “Stiles? You ok?” Derek's hand touched mine snapping me out of my thinking. “Huh? Oh yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking.” Maybe he was concerned because of what happened during the nogitsune. I was barely there after the signs started showing. “So Stiles…” Turning toward Derek, I noticed that same look of concern before it left and he had a puzzled one. Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him make so many expressions. “Yeah?” He turned a bit toward me. “I know this was all very sudden and all, but I wanted to know what had happened. It’s been two weeks and you haven’t shown up to any of the pack meetings. And every time I asked for you, I was told that you were resting. So I thought that maybe you wouldn’t mind some company.” Derek shrugged looking uncomfortable from his big speech. “Hey man, no worries! I wasn’t aware they were still having pack meetings. To be honest, I haven’t seen anyone from the pack since the nogitsune. I definitely don't mind the company” I tried giving him an encouraging smile. I'm sure he could smell how disappointed I felt. I mean, I knew the pack was still wary but I didn’t think they’d intentionally keep things from me. Whatever, I knew this was most likely what was going on. I shouldn’t be feeling so surprised. I did kill actual people. I wouldn’t trust myself either. “You mean to tell me that nobody’s talked to you? How could they do this? They’re supposed to be pack!” Derek exclaimed. He seemed really mad. I don’t understand why he’s so angry. I’m just glad the pack is still allowing Derek to the pack meetings. Derek had his murder face going full force. He stood up and went to put his jacket on when I moved to action. “Hey! Where are you going? Derek? Derek!” I quickly grabbed Derek by the sleeve without thinking. Derek just grumbled angrily before he sat down again pulling me along with him. “Ouch. Dude, are you ok? What’s wrong?” I ask feeling a bit nervous. “They’re supposed to be pack. Not even Erica, Boyd or Isaac talked to you?” I don’t understand why he seems so keen on the fact that they’re pack. I was never really pack to them. Sure, Derek’s pack was way nicer to me than Scott was even before the nogitsune, but that didn’t mean they viewed me as pack. In order to be part of a pack, you had to be special. Not just some human who could look things up on google. Anybody could do that. “Look, Derek, It’s ok. I was never a part of the pack so it's not like I should expect pack treatment from them. Especially after everything with the nogitsune.” At my words, Derek only seemed to get madder. But I don’t think it was at me. “Stiles! What are you talking about? Of course you’re pack. You were always more pack than Scott. Are you saying this because you’re human? Cause that doesn’t matter!” I look down at my hands at that. “I know being human doesn’t matter when you are a part of the pack. But even then, the other humans in the pack contribute so much more than I ever could. Allison was a badass hunter and Danny was a computer genius. And if Lydia wasn’t a banshee she’d still be a genius at everything. Me? All I’ve got is access to files which any of them could do.” Derek scooted closer to me and grabbed a hold of my hand. “Stiles listen to me. You are the best packmate anyone could have. You are so much more than what you believe. You weren’t useful just for researching skills though those are pretty amazing. You are also loyal without fault and creative and you are so strong stiles! There's no doubt about how extraordinary you are. I just wish I had been able to tell you this before. Stiles, you are many things, but you are not weak. And the pack? What they've been doing is wrong. Never should a packmate have to go through what you did. From here on out I’ll be here like I should have been from the beginning. I’m sorry it took me until today to get to you.” I turned to Derek with tears in my eyes. “I’m really glad I met you. And to tell you the truth, I’m especially glad you came to me at this time. I don’t think I could’ve made it all on my own.” I scooch closer to him on the couch practically leaning against his side and he lets me. “Oh, and stiles. I’ve also been talking with Deaton on how you managed to get rid of the nogitsune and he mentioned something that might interest you. But even if I tell you this you have to remember everything else that I said, ok?” Derek nudged me to respond. I thought we were done with all of the deep conversations. I just wanted to relax and watch some Netflix. Maybe even sneaking in some cuddles. Sighing and giving him a pleading look to see if maybe he’ll change his mind and allow for it to stop here. Derek responds to my pleads by nudging me harder with a small smile. How can I deny him an answer when he asks so nicely? “What’d he say? And really? Deaton actually had a conversation with you? He tends to be all cryptic and evil with his short answers. Oh, and Derek? I will never forget what you said or what you have doe today!” I finish with a shy smile. Gosh, could I get any cornier and awkward? “Yes, Deaton is actually a very pleasant person to talk to when the person is being polite. And thank you Stiles. I hope to continue being able to be here for you from now on. Anyways, Deaton said that he has mentioned to you before about you having a spark?” Smiling at my hands I nodded along to Derek’s words. Who would have thought that Derek was such a charming man? I’ve seen him turn on that charm before but this time, it felt different. It felt real. “Yeah, I remember him saying something about it so I could use the mountain ash. Why?” I can’t help but tilt my head to the side slightly. Chuckling at what I suppose is my expression Derek slowly placed his hand on my cheek and tilted my head straight. “Stiles, that means you have a spark. A way to channel magic. If you train and if you decide to I am willing to help unless you decide to ask someone else…” I touch his hand which is back on his lap. “Derek if I was to ask anyone, I’d ask you. But go along, continue.” Derek blushed at the tips of his ears which was adorable. “Right! Well, with the right training you could become an emissary!” Derek exclaimed with a bright smile. And yup! Those were definitely bunny teeth. “Really? Could I be an Emissary? Thank you Derek!” I’m quick to squeeze Derek into a hug as I let out a wet laugh! Derek pulls back a bit to wipe away a few tears that were falling from my cheeks and smiles at me softly. Gosh, all of these smiles and good talks are giving me feelings that I will not be looking into until a later date. “Alright, what do you say to some Netflix?” With that, I cuddle up to his side properly and grab the controller from the coffee table and begin to search for a movie. Derek puts his arm around me and squeezes me closer to him after putting a blanket over the both of us. When did he even manage to get a blanket? “Stiles? The movie?” Laughing I finally decide on one. I ended up having the best sleep that I haven’t been able to have in so long cuddled up tp Derek. One free of nightmares and filled with hope and promises for the future.