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The Unscripted Humor of My Hero Academia

Chapter Text

A young ten-year-old Izuku Midoriya was aware of his mother's affair with her lover, Toshinori Yagi. He didn't know what warranted his mother's affair, but every time he appeared, Izuku had to hide in the closet.

One afternoon, his mother, Inko, was stunned when she learned that Izuku's father, Hisashi was arriving home early from his trip overseas. She panicked, knowing that Yoshinori spent the night and her husband was minutes away.

"Toshi, you have to hide in the closet with Icchan for a while," said the worried Inko.

"Why does Izuku have to hide? Would it make it more suspect," questioned Toshinori.

"It's only suspicious when the boy should be in school right now," barked Inko. She was displaying her worry on her face. The mistaken regret of sleeping through the alarm and forgetting to take Izuku to school. She couldn't pull the sick act on Izuku. He was horrible at that. She turned to Toshinori. "Just hide in here for a few minutes with Icchan. I will think of something to get Hisashi away for awhile."

She pulled her son and her lover into the closet. She closed the door, showing her hands in prayer. "Please don't make a sound, Icchan. I promise to make it up to you." She blew a kiss to the boys and left out of the room.

Toshinori leaned his back against the wall. Meanwhile, Izuku was playing his handheld game. Their eyes meet.

"It's kinda dark in here, isn't it," questioned Izuku

Nervously rubbing the back of his head, Toshinori agreed with the boy. "Yeah, it is kinda dark, isn't it?"

"So, Toshi Oji-san. Interested in buying a baseball," asked Izuku calmly.

He looked at the boy. "Oh? No thanks, dear." Toshinori was worried as he could hear the sounds of Hisashi's voice in the home. The last thing he was thinking about was a boy's request to buy a baseball.

Especially if it was the son of his lover.

"Oh, oji-san. I think you are interested in buying a baseball." Izuku displayed a smirk. Toshinori's stomach churned as he saw the emerald child holding the baseball in hand.

"Funny thing about balls, oji-san. They can be thrown. They can be caught. They can make lots a noise."

"I get it. I get it."

"Can be in a certain person's mouth."

Toshinori gripped his hands. He reached into his wallet. "How much," he asked the little extortionist. With the position he was in, he was in no room to question.

"$10...each." Izuku grabbed another ball, holding one in each hand. "Can't have one ball without the other. You should know that right." The boy winked. "They like to travel together."

"$20," he questioned Izuku. "That's highway robbery."

Izuku swayed his finger. "Highway robbery is screaming my father's name and say you are a robber. Highway robbery is getting caught and going to jail for this." He smiled, looking at the ceiling. "Amazing how eastern Asian countries can legally do this. Take notes, America!"

"Fine, fine." Toshinori reached into his wallet and gave him $20. "Take the money!"

The adorable cinnamon roll smiled. "God bless you, sir! God bless everyone!"

A few days have passed since his transaction with Inko's son. Despite that debacle with him and the fear of being caught, Inko swore that it wasn't going to happen again. Once he felt safe, he returned to the Midoriya home.

Inko made up to him by cosplaying as a cat maid. It quickly undampened his spirits.

"Meow," purred Toshinori. "Do you care take care of what happened last time?"

"Like, nyaa!" Inko swayed her hips to the excited Toshinori. "Don't worry, sweetheart. Hisashi is at work and Izuku is hanging with his friend. We should be good for the…." Her eyes widened when she saw her husband's car approaching the driveway.

"Inko, what in the hell," he said to her.

Biting her nails, she panicked. "I didn't think he would come home for lunch." She panicked, grabbing Toshinori and putting him inside of the closet. Her hands were in a praying position. "I'm sorry, baby. I promise that it shouldn't be long." She gave him a kiss and closed the door.

Sweetie, I didn't know you were to be home this soon.

Why am I dressed like this? Just cosplaying for a competition, dear.

You know I like to dress from time to time.

As Toshinori pressed his ear to the door, he heard the sound of the handheld video game.

"It's kinda dark in here, isn't it?"

He turned to see Izuku playing the video game. He had his headphones on, bobbing to the music.

"Icchan," said the startled Toshinori. "I thought you were at a friend's."

Izuku removed the headphones. "Kacchan got an ear infection. I came back home early."

"What did you see," he asked Izuku.

"Enough to say that those pairs of balls might need a strong baseball bat to go along with this," said Izuku.

Toshinori swallowed the lump in his throat. "Izuku, I know you can be a dear. But...are you blackmailing me?"

"Blackmailing?" His voice sounded innocent, as if he didn't know the meaning of the word. "All I wanted was to give you a sturdy bat. Can't perform well with having a bat to increase your endurance."

"How much, Izuku?"

Izuku put a finger to his lip. "I am thinking $20."


"Hmm, hmm."

Toshinori reached into his wallet and gave the emerald cinnamon roll $20. "Take the money!"

The adorable cinnamon roll smiled. "God bless you, sir! God bless everyone!"

About a week had passed since the incident. He decided to give Inko time off so she could deal with her husband. Inko texted him, but without any avail. Honestly, he looked at it as sign of God to end this.

He was lounging in his bean bag chair when he got a knock at the door. He answered it and saw that it was Inko. She rushed into the home, giving Toshinori a strong surge of her affection.

How couldn't he turn her down?

The pair decided to go to a hotel. They were hopeful that they wouldn't be disturbed. Hisashi was working and Izuku was at school. There wasn't any way nothing could stop this.

She hesitantly looked up at him. The swirls of emotion she saw there made her gasp. Lust and desire. However, before she could ponder about it further, he yanked her to him and covered her mouth with his in a hungry kiss. As their lips crushed together, she felt like she was walking on air. It was magic, the way his lips connected with her. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than hers could have imagined and she opened her mouth with a low moan.

Toshinori slowly removed her robe until she was completely naked. As he began to taste her nectar, he heard a knock at the door.

"For crying out loud," he groaned. He rushed to the door and saw that it was Hisashi. His eyes widened. He looked at Inko. "Why is your husband at the door?"

She panicked, she grabbed Toshinori and placed him inside of the closet. "Forgive me, Toshi. I will figure this out." She kissed him on the lips and closed the door.

Hisashi, baby. Why are you here?

So, you are here for a work meeting and one of the people saw me?

Oh, why am I here? You know this place as a spa and wanted to treat myself.

Dear, you know I love you enough to not hide things.

Yeah, dear. We can talk. I have all the time in the world for my hubby.

Toshi officially believed that this was a sign from God. He had enough of this. After this encounter, he decided that he was going to end it with Inko.

"It's kinda dark in here, isn't it?"

Toshinori bit into his lip. No way in hell is he…. The sound of the handheld video game was being played. The emerald cinnamon roll crossed his legs, sitting and nodding with his headphones.

"I think you need some protection in case those balls hurt you." He displayed to him his baseball glove. "Interested in buying a glove?"

Izuku completed the final level of his video game. The ten-year-old can finally relax. He hasn't heard from Toshinori since the encounter at the hotel. His mother finally gave up on Toshi and has talked about a second honeymoon with her husband.

Things were slowly being rightfully restored.

As he walked into the kitchen to get a drink, his father walked into the room. "Hey, Icchan. I was thinking since I have the weekend off, we should go and toss a few rounds with the ball."

The ten-year-old shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, otou-san. I actually sold my gear."

His father tilted his head. "Oh? How?" His father wasn't surprised if his son traded his gear for candy, rocks, manga, or gaming cards. Typically pre-teen antics.

"Actually, otou-san, I made about $60."

"$60," the father retorted.

"Yes, sir," replied Izuku.

"Icchan, that's not right. That's very wrong," said Hisashi. "Who did you sell it to?"

"Kacchan," answered Izuku.

He sighed heavily. "Okay, get your coat. We are going to visit Kacchan to see if we can get our stuff back."

Hisashi phoned Mrs. Bakagou about the trade and she told him to come over to her house. Hisashi and Izuku arrived at the Bakagou residence. Hisashi rung the doorbell.

Mrs. Bakagou stepped out of door. "Afternoon, Icchan." She winked at his father. "Hisashi. I didn't think you were back in town."

He smiled. "Well, I will be here for quite a bit."

"Well," she said. "Shall you guys come in?"

Hisashi and Izuku entered the residence.

"Is your husband in town, Mitsuki?"

She stopped and paused. "Actually, he's not. He is out of town."

Hisashi raised his eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes, sir." Mrs. Bakugou turned to Izuku. "Say, Icchan. Kacchan is playing a neat game in his bedroom. A game where he is the troll of the closet. Shall you be the shining knight? I promise I will give you a treat."

"Agreed," interjected Hisashi as he winked.

Izuku bowed at the adults. He ran toward Katsuki's room where he was sitting in the closet. He heard his father and Katsuki's mother entered her room, closing the door.

Katsuki was sitting in the closet, holding a flashlight and reading his manga.

Izuku and Katsuki met eyes when he entered the closet.

"It's kinda dark in here, isn't it, Kacchan?"

"Don't you start that shit in here, Icchan," shouted Katsuki. "You fooled me the last time when you and your father came over. Not again."

The End!