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Five Time Lords Donna Noble Slapped

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Harry Saxon was pacing up and down Donna's living room, waving his arms and generally acting like he'd just escaped from the funny farm. Also, Donna's memory wasn't quite up to par these days, but she was fairly sure that he was meant to be dead.

She smacked him across the mouth. “Stop. Acting. Mental.”

That'd teach supposedly dead prime ministers to act like nutters in her house.

Donna was England's greatest expert at pretending aliens and all that madness weren't real. But even she found denial kind of hard when she was locked up by a woman who was breeding what looked like a cross between pigs and lizards.

When the pig-lizard woman, who was apparently called the Rani, started talking about dissecting Donna's brain, Donna hit her as hard as she could on the nose and made her escape.

It was all Veena's fault. If Veena hadn't started seeing that married bloke then he wouldn't have gone back to his wife, Veena wouldn't have insisted Donna come out and get drunk, and Donna wouldn't have tried to go home on this night bus that wasn't really a bus.

Donna slapped Iris Wildthyme and demanded to be taken home. The result of this was Iris offering her a very large gin and tonic, so everything worked out okay.

Afterwards, Romana explained that she was highly sensitive to the Doctor's mind. And that the residual Time Lord conciousness in Donna's brain had led her to believe that Donna was the Doctor's latest regeneration. This was why her initial reaction to meeting to Donna had been to punch her in the nose and then snog her silly.

Donna felt this was a very poor explanation and was glad she'd smacked Romana back.

She'd snogged her back too, but that was another story.

The first thing Donna did when she got her memory back was hit the Doctor as hard as she could in the face.

“And if it wasn't bad enough you performing home brain surgery on me then dumping me back here, I've had all the other Time Lords stalking me for months.”

The Doctor looked stunned, and not just because of Donna's rather impressive right hook.