Yun Lan whimpers. He has been having these nightmares for quite a while. He doesn't know if they are dreams or if he is hallucinating or if they are real memories. He cannot distinguish between reality and his dreams anymore.
It has been quite difficult since he had been assaulted. These images, they feel vivid, as if he is reliving the trauma and he desperately doesn't want that. Who would want to go through such a disgusting ordeal again?
His hands are handcuffed to the head board of a bed, his legs are tied as well. Someone is ripping away his clothes. They are running their hands all over him. It's all completely physical, he doesn't want it, he cannot struggle, he cannot get away from the roaming hands, they are provoking him and his body helplessly responds.
He doesn't want this, he doesn't want to react but his body isn't listening to him. He cannot shout through the gag, there's a blind fold over his eyes and hell, even his ears have been plugged. He shakes his head and tears escape his eyes.
It's like they know all of his weak points, his pleasure points, his pain points, what he needs and wants but doesn't dare voice out, they know, it's like they can see inside his mind, like they can see through him and it makes everything so disgusting.
Who is this? Why are they doing this to him? What do they want? It's so scary. He wants someone to rescue him. Why is Shen Wei not here? Why did he not listen to his Xiao Wei? He should have hung out with Wei instead of his friends. He shouldn't have drunk so much to the point of passing out. If he hadn't been so careless, this won't be happening.
"Wake up, Xiao Lan, please, wake up, you are not there, it's a nightmare, Wei is here, wake up, please."
Yun Lan startles and sits on the bed. He is panting, he has been sweating profusely, the blankets are wet. He looks at his legs and hands frantically, he isn't tied up, there are no gags or blind folds or ear plugs. He is not there. He is safe.
Wei whispers soothingly, "You are safe, Xiao Lan."
Wei hesitantly reaches out. Yun Lan becomes afraid whenever someone tries to touch him without his permission since the incident. Wei places him palm upward waiting for Yun Lan's approval.
Yun Lan nods and Wei immediately pulls Lan closer to him and hugs him tightly, afraid to let go, as if Yun Lan will disappear.
Wei has been overprotective since the night - three weeks ago - Yun Lan had been sexually assaulted by an unknown assailant. Yun Lan had been out with his friends that night, to a party, not his CSI team member friends. Wei hates parties and naturally he had decided not to go with Yun Lan despite Yun Lan's pleads.
He had thought that he could get home without calling Wei, his friends hadn't been worried either. This was a common occurrence in their group and moreover, Yun Lan is the chief of CSI team, who can mess with him or so they had thought.
He had passed out somehow on the way and when he had woken up, it had already been too late. He had been awake during the assault. After the assailant had done what he had set out to, he had drugged Yun Lan and dropped him on the road side and left.
Someone had found him and had him admitted to the hospital. The tests had revealed drugs in his system, drugs that cause confusion and affects memory, something similar to a date rape drug. There were not many wounds on his body but he had been sexually violated.
The hospital had called Wei - he is listed as Yun Lan's guardian - and that's how Wei and his CSI team had found him.
Investigation is still ongoing but they haven't been able to find the criminal yet, there's not a single clue or lead. The rape kit hadn't returned anything either. The bastard had been very meticulous, he probably has intensive knowledge of forensics and he had used every loop hold he could find, his face has not been caught on any of the cameras either. Even his vehicle hasn't been identified.
From that day on wards, Wei never left his side. Yun Lan is sad, he knows that Wei blames himself for not going to the party with Yun Lan.
Yun Lan is strong, he knows he will get over this eventually but he needs some time. No one likes being touched against their will. No one likes being not in control of their own selves, no one likes being forced. He logically knows that it's not his fault but he can't help but feel guilty that he responded, he blames himself and it's hard to accept Wei's love, devotion, care and touch.
He doesn't want to push Wei away, it will only hurt Wei further and Wei will blame himself further. It's hard to act normally. Wei understands, he doesn't force anything from Yun Lan. He does everything for Yun Lan.
But Yun Lan wants some alone time and Wei is not giving him that. Hell, even his CSI team members are not giving him alone time. He needs to think, he needs to get back on his feet, this is suffocating. Immediately, he feels sad, he shouldn't be thinking like this at all about the people who are worried sick of him.
The fact that the criminal hasn't been caught yet only makes it even more claustrophobic.
He gently pries Wei's hands away from him and walks towards the bedroom.
Wei follows, Yun Lan shakes his head, Wei hesitates.
Yun Lan snaps, "I am not a delicate flower, Wei! I don't need anything from you."
Wei looks like he has been slapped and takes a step back. He looks down and shifts his feet uneasily. He then looks up, smiles sadly and leaves the room. The fact that Yun Lan doesn't call Wei as 'Xiao Wei' hurts him more.
But not before saying, "I am almost done with dinner, come and eat after taking a shower."
Yun Lan wants to follow Wei but he needs the safety of the warm shower and the time to think properly. He really shouldn't be taking out his helplessness and anger on Wei of all people. Wei just wants to help him.
He hopes he can make peace with himself soon. He needs to get back to work soon which he will in a week. He has taken a month off and everybody thinks one month isn't enough. He has to stop delaying, the sessions with a psychologist will definitely help.
A blinding light, a familiar face, a familiar touch, glasses but the smirk on the lovely face makes Yun Lan want to puke.
He sits up on his bed, he is sweating again. Wei sits up next to him immediately.
Yun Lan doesn't want it to be true. This can't be. Why is this happening to him? Please, please let it be just his overactive imagination. Please don't let it be reality.
He wants to clear things up immediately.
He whispers in a broken voice, he doesn't want to believe it, "Was it you, Xiao Wei?"
Wei looks confused. He cocks his head to one side, "What's wrong, Xiao Lan?"
The way Wei says 'Xiao Lan' sends chills down Yun Lan's spine. Wei has been behaving strangely lately, more controlling, more demanding, more possessive, more obsessive, like he owns Yun Lan. Like he has marked Yun Lan as his.
Yun Lan wants to get away from Wei desperately.
"Ah, did I blow my cover?"
Yun Lan freezes, like a dear caught in front of head lights. Wei's layers are being shed one by one. Who is this person in front of Yun Lan? Where's Wei? Is this Wei's lost twin?
Wei had a twin but years ago, Zun had gone missing. It's still a scar on Wei's mind, Wei still follows on the missing persons report and hasn't given up on finding his twin. But Wei told Yun Lan about his suspicions, Zun had been a weird child, he had hurt animals, he had hung out with the wrong crowd, he had witnessed some violence, the death of their parents at the hands of a criminal and he had changed after that.
Wei had tried his best to help Zun but Zun had started to go out of control, Wei had been scared of his evil side. Zun would hurt others but he would never hurt his Wei Ge but Wei hadn't wanted him to hurt other people either. Zun hadn't been able to assure Wei that he wouldn't hurt others.
As if not to worry his elder twin, Zun had decided to vanish without leaving a trace. But one thing Yun Lan is sure of, Zun would never let anyone close to his Wei Ge.
So is the one in front of him Zun, not Wei? Was the one who assaulted him Zun, not Wei? Does Wei have split personality? Is this Wei's other personality? Is this a nightmare? Is this a hallucination? Is his mind making up things?
Does Wei even have a lost twin? Is Wei making things up? He only heard things from Wei, he is not involved in the case as Wei personally had asked him not to help in turn for telling Yun Lan about his past. Yun Lan had desperately wanted to help but had decided that keeping his promise to Wei and respecting Wei's wishes came first. Should he be doubting Wei? Does Wei need help?
Wei shrugs, the grin on his face, the smirk, the movement of his eyes and tongue, the chillness of his actions, this is not Wei or is it? "It is not like I was trying to keep up the cover anyway, after everything that has happened."
Yun Lan shifts lightly, Wei's eyes watch his every action like a hawk. Lightning fast, he grabs Lan's arms and holds them in a tight grip. He is looking at Yun Lan like Yun Lan is his prey. It's like he wants Yun Lan to run, to hide and Wei will hunt him down and eat him alive.
It's like Yun Lan can never get away from Wei, like he can run but he can never hide, this is the food chain and Wei is at the top of the food chain with his mesmerizing yet deadly eyes, he will strike down Yun Lan with an animalistic urge, instinct, precision and rage.
Like he can smell Yun Lan from far away, like he can discover Yun Lan's silhouette from far away, like he can hear Yun Lan's footsteps and whimpers from far away, like he wants to make Yun Lan beg for mercy and even if Yun Lan pleads for his life, Wei won't loosen his grip.
What kind of influence does Yun Lan have on Wei? He is afraid to think of the other possibility, what kind of influence does Wei have on him? Would he be OK with it if Wei keeps Yun Lan hidden from the world, tied up in his basement? He shudders. He is afraid of his own thoughts. Why are his thoughts going in this direction? What has Wei unlocked in him? How did he let his defenses drop so much? When, how, why?
It's like he can't stop, he is sure Wei has already reached the point of no return. Who has he been living with all this time?
Suddenly a thought strikes him, does Zun have Wei captured somewhere? Did his world change from the night he was attacked? Should he be looking for Wei? Or is this, his heart, trying desperately to shut out the fact that this is, in reality, his Wei?
Wei is looking at him like Yun Lan is his drug, like Lan is is high, like he loves Lan but wants to break him as well. Break him so that Lan can depend only on Wei. Lan swallows.
Wei's eyes glints. Lan is attracted to the flame.
He starts running his hands over Yun Lan's body. Is Yun Lan his object? It may sound strange but Yun Lan feel the love as well, the twisted love oozing from Wei. Should he be careful around Wei? They get along well, he cannot cut Wei out of his life no matter who or what Wei turns out to be.
Wei will die without Yun Lan, won't he? Is Yun Lan better off without Wei as well?
Yun Lan can try to break free, can try to find others, can try to pretend but he cannot stay from Wei. Wei will be forever stuck in his head even if he physically distances himself from Wei. He cannot deny the beast inside Wei, even if Wei eats him alive, he will let Wei do what he wants with Yun Lan. After all, Yun Lan is Wei's, isn't he?
He is not afraid of Wei or his own thoughts anymore. He doesn't shy away from Wei's demanding touches, he gives in. Wei will not hurt him, even if Wei does, Yun Lan can take it. And Wei will take care of him in the aftermath.
He doesn't realize that Wei has just unleashed the submissive in him. And that he has unlocked the beast in Wei.
They will literally die without each other. Yun Lan falls onto the bed and pulls Wei on top of him. He will willingly succumb to Wei who has been waiting patiently all this time for Yun Lan to find this side of him.
Was Wei afraid that Yun Lan would push him away? Why was he waiting like a night owl? Did he lose sleep? Was he devoured by Yun Lan's behavior and obliviousness? Was he consumed by Yun Lan? Because Yun Lan doesn't mind being consumed by Wei.
It's like he can't help but love and want this side of Wei, did Wei know that Yun Lan had this kind of side to him? Had Yun Lan suppressed it because he had been ashamed? Because he had thought that he would never find a match?
It's night, everything is dark and silent and he wants this truth right now, this is a temporary comforting blanket which will strangle him later, maybe even smother him to death but he is ready to face the consequences with Wei, he just wants to be free right now. They may be wrong or right, he doesn't know, he doesn't care. He just wants to go for it.
He wants Wei's approval and he wants to approve Wei, he wants Wei to know that it's fine. It's like a weight has been finally taken off from his shoulders.
They maybe humans right now but they have animal impulses, hidden inside them as well.
Yun Lan loses consciousness.
Yun Lan startles and wakes.
Wei groans next to him and wakes up. He stretches and smiles.
Yun Lan realizes that something is off. It's his normal Wei, the kind, gentle, lovely, caring, innocent Wei. There's no hint of darkness in Wei's eyes. Had Yun Lan dreamed all that? Wei is looking at him with so much adoration. Yun Lan can't help but relax and melt.
The psychologist had told him about side effects of being assaulted and tied up like that. He had felt helpless, but doesn't this mean that he is moving forward to the path of recovery?
He smiles and shakes his head. He really does have an over active imagination, doesn't he? Probably because of his line of occupation. He feels better after a long time. It has been eight months after the incident. They still haven't caught the criminal but things are going back to the way they were.
Wei is not so over protective anymore, Yun Lan doesn't feel guilty or like snapping at Wei, the team is behaving normally as well. All of them are not suffocating Yun Lan, they are giving him space and time. He doesn't need that much time anymore either. Yun Lan feels like a normal human being, Wei hasn't been acting weird at all.
He may not have fully recovered but he will eventually get there. He feels like he will start joking and being sarcastic again. It's a long road but he wants to win this. He cannot let the bastard who ruined his life gloat and get away now, can he?
He will never let anyone dictate his life. He pulls Wei and kisses Wei's forehead. Wei is startled at first but then relaxes and smiles. Yun Lan leaves a quick peck on Wei who blushes and leaves in a hurry to make break fast. Yun Lan rolls his eyes, it's easier and easier by the minute to accept the fact that he dreamed all that. There's nothing wrong with his Xiao Wei.
He is not comfortable when people touch him but he is not scared to death. He has started initiating touches as well with Wei. He hopes he can touch Wei without feeling any negative feeling again. Wei is patient and Yun Lan loves him for that. Wei never asks him anything.
Yun Lan decides to head to the bathroom and get ready.
Everything is going fine and hence, nobody notices the dark, creepy smile on that person's face, it is going to be soon but he will own him again. Whoever it is, Wei or Zun or just a personality, he will hook his claws, deep into Yun Lan and never let go, because they are obsessed, because Yun Lan is theirs. A knife glints in the dark, sound of metal scraping can be heard.