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very bad communication

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[ teukie teukie leeteuk has created the last men standing ]

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: hi

 

anchovy: what is this

 

anchovy: DID YOU SET THESE NAMES STOPIGJK

 

east sea: :0 what’s this for?

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: a group chat

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: because we’re a GROUP and we must COMMUNICATE

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: for example, from now on anyone who comes late to practice or filming will be slandered through this chat until they break down

 

horse: that’s harsh.

 

horse: oh jesus my name

 

evil maknae: i like this name

 

shindong: am i the only one with my actual name fuck you teuk

 

rye bread: what is goING ON MY PHONE JUST BLEW UP WITH NOTIFS

 

sungmin: hi :D

 

drunk driver: uh

 

drunk driver: WHY IS THIS MY NAME I’M LAEVI8GN

 

drunk driver has left the chat ]

 

teukie teukie leeteuk has added drunk driver to the chat ]

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: don’t LEAVE kangin this is IMPORTANT

 

cinderella: y’all what the fuck it’s literally 3 am

 

yessex: ijsru wok eup what’s hapepng

 

yessex: shir

 

yessex: i canrnot keep my euyes open good gnigjt nvm youf uygs suck

 

anchovy: that’s what you get for never sleeping

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: we have to establish rules here. no cursing or you have to put a coin in the CURSE JAR. it’s not like i can tell if you actually do it through my phone but i trust you all to keep your own jars anyway

 

yessex: sjut teh FUCK up eudfhyuk

 

yessex: oh.

 

yessex: you realrfy think we ca’rnt cursrte

 

evil maknae: this is yesung we’re talking about you know

 

yessex: i donr’ need uour help you abnstard

 

evil maknae: ok

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: that’s 2 coins in the jar for you yesung. please do not violate the rule again! we have to be friendly!!!!!

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: rule #2 please do not spam the chat

 

rye bread: dskjfhgdksdfh

 

evil maknae: dfkj

 

evil maknae: s

 

evil maknae: sdsow

 

shindong: jdjcndsmdnfmnfmd

 

shindong: sdjkfhkshfdkshger

 

east sea: guys stop it

 

rye bread: asdjsjks

 

rye bread: d

 

yessex: 666

 

yessex: wj

 

cinderella: dkj

 

cinderella: s

 

cinderella: sdoi

 

sungmin: c’mon don’t be mean to leeteuk :/

 

drunk driver: siduhfjgrtje

 

drunk driver: rfj

 

anchovy: ds

 

horse: a

 

horse: asd

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: guys STOP IT I WILL BLCOK YOU ALL

 

yessex: maybe that’s for the best.

 

cinderella: yeah i’m sleepy you fucker

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: jar, heechul.

 

cinderella: ok

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: rule #3, your name can’t be changed more than thrice a day whether it’s someone else or you who changed the name

 

drunk driver: WAIT WE CAN CHANGE THE NAMESN FUCK YEAH

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: JAR, KANGIN

 

drunk driver has changed their name to kangin ]

 

cinderella has changed kangin ’s name to drunk driver ]

 

evil maknae has changed kangin ’s name to drunk driver! ]

 

drunk driver!: are you kidding me

 

evil maknae: sorry i had to change it so all 3 changes would be used and you wouldn’t be able to do anything abt it

 

cinderella: come back when you don’t have TWO DUIS, KANGIN

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: guys you have to pay attention to me :(

 

sungmin: after bonding with kangin on intimate note all those years ago i can safely say he does not deserve this bullying. leeteuk is he allowed a fourth chance to change his name

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: no bending the rules sungmin ily

 

drunk driver!: MOTHERFUCKER

 

cinderella: (leeteuk voice) JAR, KANGIN!11!!1

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: JAR, KANGIN

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: i

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: … ok anyway

 

anchovy: i got it. rule #4. we are allowed to bully each other. nobody is exempt. if you try to break this rule or advocate for its removal you are a weakling and belong in exo

 

east sea: why exo i’m

 

anchovy: ’cause they’re kids

 

horse: well there are people in this group chat who are short enough to be a kid anyway

 

rye bread: rule #5. do not bring up height ever

 

cinderella: and we have a literal kid

 

evil maknae: rule #6. do not bring up age ever

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: GUYS :(((((

 

shindong: ok srsly guys let’s pay attention to him

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: thank you shindong

 

shindong: uwu

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: i am leaving out you guys’ rules #5 and #6 but thank you for the contributions. now, rule #5, don’t ever leave the group chat

 

drunk driver! has left the chat ]

 

rye bread has left the chat ]

 

cinderella has left the chat ]

 

yessex has left the chat ]

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: oh my GOD

 

evil maknae has left the chat ]

 

anchovy has left the chat ]

 

horse has left the chat ]

 

east sea: ok i’m sorry but i can’t stop laughinfg

 

sungmin: srsly are we the only loyal ones here

 

shindong: yes you are.

 

shindong has left the chat ]

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: LKSDFJGHDKLFJGHKEDJFIHGUJEKOWFJD

 

east sea: it’s ok i got ur back

 

east sea has added drunk driver! , rye bread , cinderella , yessex , evil maknae , anchovy , horse , and shindong to the chat ]

 

shindong: sorry

 

horse: ok go on leeteuk

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: if you guys pull this stuff one more time i will actually lose it

 

cinderella: yeah, like we haven’t seen you totally lose it before

 

horse: (cue in a flashback to the incheon fight)

 

anchovy: (cue in a flashback to the one time leeteuk LITERALLY choked me)

 

rye bread: ok y’know what guys let’s not be mean for once,,, let’s let him finish listing out the rules and then we can mess around because if we continue this now we’re not gonna get any goddamn sleep tonight

 

yessex: good poinr i really wrealluy want to hget back in bed

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: thank you for that ryeowook but also, jar

 

rye bread: are you kidding me all i said was goddamn

 

cinderella: ok leeteuk we promise we will not mess around for the rest of this orientation you have my word

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: i only have one rule left so can you guys just calm down for that one and then you can go crazy or whatever :( please

 

east sea: yes we promise

 

evil maknae: fine yes

 

yessex: promisrjhe yes

 

anchovy: ok

 

horse: yes

 

shindong: ye

 

sungmin: i promise

 

rye bread: me too

 

drunk driver!: we promise, buddy

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: okay thank you all

 

teukie teukie leeteuk: rule #6, please no vulgarity, okay? we have enough of that irl i don’t want people seeing that on my phone by accident

 

drunk driver!: OHHHH LEETEUK KEEP GOING

 

shindong: SURE LOVE DEEP DICKING AN ICE COLD BEER BOTTLE

 

cinderella: (sechskies voice) THE FUCKING DICK IS IN YOUR PUSSY

 

yessex: MY NAME IS LITERALLY VULGAR, LEETEUK, YOU WANNA GO

 

horse: nothing like a good Bible Discussion Study Meeting! *i spank kyuhyun*

 

evil maknae: A-AH, HARDER, SIWON


teukie teukie leeteuk: I LITERALLY HATE ALL OF YOU