Chapter 1: I'll Protect You.
Sometimes, I just turn off my mind and let my body go. The smell of cologne, whiskey and weed on his breath. Filling my nostrils and heating the layers of my skin. He whispers in my ears.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard.” He groans and begins to touch me. Moving against me roughly. “I’m going to fuck the shit out of you. Just you wait…you’re going to come so hard. I’ll make sure of it.”
I let out screams when he shoved his way inside me. Thrusting savagely and fucking me. Just like he promised. Slamming his body against mine. The sweat building up between us The room growing hotter and the bed continuously shaking. I keep my eyes closed tight. Trying to hide from it all until he slaps me and shouts,
“Look at me!”
I do. I look into his face and stare into his eyes. An intensity builds up…between this action, and he moves faster.
His grunts and groans are deep and low. His hands are everywhere and I can’t feel anything but him. But I moan…I moan…just like he wants me to.
I call out and buck my body up towards his like he taught me.
I do everything he teaches me and make the noises he wants to hear.
I touch him back…running my hands against his shoulders and his back.
I hold him….I look into his eyes and I hold him close to me.
I touch him, yes. I hold him close and touch him back.
I cradle onto my father as he rapes me.
. . .
Early in the morning, young Jack sat still at his desk, writing on a sheet of old notebook paper. The sun was rising slowly outside and the young boy kept the light off in his bedroom. Sitting by the window, he preferred to write in the natural daylight.
Jack lifted his head and closed his eyes. Feeling the gentle heat. Breathing slow and just existing. The sunlight was comforting to him. Warm, gracious and full of solace. The warmth of the sun was everything he needed to feel whole.
The previous night had been too much for him, anxiety wracking through his body as he lay awake in the dark. His parents arguing downstairs in the living room. His father’s booming voice growing louder and louder as he shouted,
“Where is my money, you fucking bitch!” Lucifer grabbed his ex-wife by the hair and twisted his grip tighter. Kelly screamed,
“Lucifer, stop it now!” Squirming in the man’s grip and scratching at his arms. Lucifer flinched at Kelly’s attacks and threw her against the wall as retaliation. Punching her in the gut and kicking her in the side.
Frozen still in his bed, Jack had been listening to the fighting and screaming for an entirety of five minutes until he heard the large thud echo from all the way downstairs. That’s when Jack shot up out of bed and ran out of his room. Racing down the stairs to see his mother screaming on the floor bloody and bruised…and his father standing over her punching her repeatedly.
“Forty grand, Kelly. That’s how much you owe, you fucking cunt.” Lucifer shouted as he continued. Though when he raised his fist again to finish off the beating, Lucifer was suddenly tackled.
“Get off of her!” Jack bellowed as he pushed his father off his mother and began to drag the middle aged man across the floor. But Jack was weaker compared to his dad, and it only took Lucifer a moment before he pushed Jack away and punched the boy in the jaw, making Jack fall and join his mother on the floor.
Jack saw nothing but black for a moment. The wind in his lungs were gone and his body was shaking. Groaning, he struggled to force himself up and reached out for his mother.
“Mom?” He said as he touched Kelly’s thin shoulder.
Kelly stirred awake but her eyes were swollen. Still the woman fought to get up off the floor. Lucifer cracked his blooded knuckles and watched as his ex-wife and teenage son helped each other up. Sucking his teeth and shaking his head, Lucifer said to Kelly with great malice in his heart,
“Forty fucking grand bitch. Pay me back in a week or I’ll make you pay. Both of you.” Lucifer turned and walked out of the house, slamming the front door behind him.
The living room was silent except for Jack and Kelly’s painful groaning.
“Mom, are you okay?”
Kelly waved her son away, “Don’t worry about me. Are you okay? I’m sorry this had to happen.”
“Mom, don’t ever be sorry.” Jack said, and frowned, feeling so sorry for his mom. Kelly remained quiet for a moment and then hugged her son. Embracing him deeply and just breathing through the pain.
The night went on and neither Jack or Kelly really slept. They stayed up cleaning up the living room’s mess. When they were finished it was nearly six in the morning and Kelly decided to go into the kitchen and make breakfast.
“Go try to sleep, Jack. You can go to school a little later today.” Kelly said as she began to cook the bacon and eggs. Jack nodded and didn’t protest, not wanting to upset his mother. Heading up the stairs, Jack made his way to his bedroom and fell to his bed. Feeling hopeless and weak because of how easily defeated he was by his father, Jack wondered about the things he could do for his mother. He wanted to do something good for her, to remind her of the strength she had.
So when the late morning came, Jack had gotten out of bed and decided to write a letter to her:
Mom, don’t worry. We will make it through this. No matter what this is or how this goes. We will make it through. You are strong Mom, and you don’t need Dad. We don’t need him in our lives. We can make it with just each other.
Later on, after having a quiet breakfast with Jack, Kelly went into her bedroom and found the note on her desk. Reading it over and over, Kelly wiped tears from her eyes. Not because of Jack’s letter…. but because of how much he didn’t know. How much detail he should never know about her or Lucifer. The thoughts made the woman bite the inside of her lip in frustration, wondering how could she truly escape this hell she was in.
But despite it all, Kelly was appreciative of her son…Jack was an angel. A blessing she never deserved. And she was willing to fight this hell and be there for him no matter what. Leaving her bedroom with the note in her hand and walking down the stairs into the living room, Kelly saw her fourteen-year-old son, and watched as he zipped up his book bag.
Jack looked up and turned to see his mother with the note in her hand. It was unspoken, but Jack realized that something else was truly bothering his mother. Something more than just Lucifer’s abusiveness, the debt, and the recent divorce.
It was something Jack chose not to speak about. He just walked over to his mother and embraced her.
“I will protect you always, Mom.” Jack said, and Kelly smiled deeply. Holding onto her son tightly, she nodded and kissed the side of his temple.
. . .
Sitting in the cafeteria with his best friends, Clark, Donovan, Simon and Eric, Jack seemed to be a different person. Laughing at dumb and inappropriate jokes, Jack hid away all his worry and anger at his father, and just delved into the life of high school. He was good at it; masking his emotions and just being content with his group. Though today he did have to try a little harder to fight his sadness and agitation because of what happened last night. But no one was the wiser. Jack seemed okay to everyone at the lunch table.
A casual conversation about homework and tests took a turn when Clark started rating how hot the popular girls are, and who he wants to have sex with next . Donovan, Simon and Eric laughed when Clark pointed out the overweight girls and howled at them.
“Fat chicks, they’re an easy lay because they never think anyone would ever like them in the first place. So they put out faster than the sexier chicks.”
“And mo’ cushion for the pushin’.” Donovan interjected, and everyone laughed.
The guys begin to share stories of their first time over the summer, but when it got to Jack, Clark playfully called Jack out for being a virgin.
“Hey, no I’m not, bro shut up!” Jack blushed with embarrassment, and didn’t have much to defend himself with because it was true.
The boys made fun of Jack for a bit and settled down eventually, only to say:
“Don’t worry about it Jack you’ll lose it eventually.” Simon said.
“Yeah, when you’re like 50.” Eric interceded.
Everyone laughed at Jack again, and Jack was at a loss for words.
“Screw you guys.” Jack said, then looked over at the popular girls table and saw Alex Jones, a beautiful dark haired girl. Jack blinked and got an idea.
“Is Patience Turner still having her party tomorrow night?” Jack asked.
“Yep. What’s it to ya… it’s not like you’re invited.” Donovan said, mid chew of a sandwich.
“Oh really?” Jack took a sip of his soda, pressed the hood of his sweater off his head, and smoothed his hair out. “Watch this, fellas.”
He got up and headed over to the table of beautiful girls, walking confidently up to Alex Jones.
“Hey Alex, how’s it going?” Jack asked smoothly. Alex looked up and blushed, as Jack complimented her and charmingly asked, “I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime?”
Alex smiled wide and saw how cute Jack was, and despite her friends giving her the look, Alex looked at Jack and said, “Okay then... Meet me at Patience’s party at eight o'clock.” Alex winked and Jack smiled as they exchanged numbers. “I will text you the address later.”
“Alright.” Jack said, and walked back over to his table. His friends started roaring, hooting and howling at his success.
. . .
Kelly Kline sat in her room writing in a small black journal, thinking of her son and how he wrote for her. Realizing that he took so much more after her than his father. Proud of him, Kelly smiled and wrote about her son. Making notes about him, and small passages.
The day had been better and everything was good until Kelly finally looked at the clock on her end table. Shock ran through her body as she realized that she was running late for her shift at the local Post Office. It had been so long since she worked an actual job. For so many years she had worked for her husband and borrowed money from him. But now that they were finally divorced she was ready to be on her own, despite the nervousness and fear that ran through her body.
Leaving her journal open and grabbing her keys and purse, Kelly rushed out of the house. The drive wasn’t going to be far and she made it just in the nick of time. Quickly, Kelly got settled in her parking spot and hurried out of her sedan.
Walking across the street toward the Post Office building, Kelly huffed a deep breath and readied herself for work. ‘Today is going to be a good day, no matter what,’ she thought to herself, and smiled. And she went on walking across the street without realizing that an all-black Mercedes with deep-tinted windows was speeding towards her.
The expensive vehicle collided with her fragile body. The impact was devastating. The smashing of her legs, spine and pelvis didn’t kill Kelly instantly. She lay motionless in the middle of the street, alive and gasping in shock. There was no time for the fear to settle inside her broken body, because the driver put the car in reverse, riding over Kelly until her torso and skull cracked, and blood was everywhere.
Panic ripped through the air and nothing could have been done.
The driver rolled over Kelly Kline one last time, before finally pulling off and speeding away.
. . .
“Dude, you nailed it. You are so going to get some. From what I hear Alex puts out. Like all the way out.”
Jack blushed a bit but said, “Yeah, but that’s not the only thing I’m down for Clark. I’ve actually been wanting to talk to her.”
“Dude! Everyone at this party is going to be doing more than just talking. Take advantage of the opportunity while you can.” Clark said, and grabbed the joint he had hidden in his jacket pocket. “You want to hit this?” Clark asked.
“Naw, man, thanks.” Jack said immediately; a little irritated because Clark knew that Jack never smoked but still pressured him to try it.
Clark read into Jack’s sudden aggravation and said bluntly, “Hey man, I know you’ve been stressed with your Dad and shit. I just offered so you can lighten up. That’s all”
“I know man, I get…It’s just, my mom would kill me if she found out.”
“Alright then. Mama’s boy.”
“Hey!” Jack pushed Clark, and Clark laughed and pushed Jack back then started to run.
“How the hell are you going to run and smoke at the same time!” Jack called out as he chased his friend.
They were already in their own neighborhood when the chase began, and Jack ran up to Clark and caught him. They laughed and Clark offered the joint once more.
“You sure you don’t want a hit, man?” Jack looked at it…wondering for a moment and took the blunt.
“What your mother doesn’t know won’t hurt her, ha-ha” Clark chuckled as Jack put the joint between his lips. They were already close to his house and without thinking Jack looked over to the side, wondering if his mom was even home by now. School had let out at three, and Kelly usually always made a point to be home to greet Jack.
On a normal day Jack would be embarrassed by the hug and kiss, but since the events of last night, Jack wanted to be there for his mother. So things could be normal.
Though as Jack held the joint to his lips and looked over to his house, he noticed Kelly’s silver sedan wasn’t in the driveway. But Lucifer’s blood red Bentley was…
Jack dropped the blunt and it fell to the ground.
“Aye! Man, that’s my last one!” Clark exclaimed, rushing to it pick up. But Jack couldn’t hear him. Jack just furrowed his brow and said,
“Clark, bro, I’ll catch you later.”
“Yeah, see ya, asshole.” Clark said, but Jack ignored him, walking quickly over to the driveway of his home.
“What are you doing here?” Jack asked without giving any sense of a formal greeting to his father.
Lucifer put out his cigarette and stared at his son with a serious look in his eyes.
Jack flinched nervously at being stared down. Jack never liked it when his father looked at him, and he wanted to punch Lucifer for hurting him and Kelly last night.
But Jack didn’t. He couldn’t let himself do anything like that. And it was bad enough that he was actually afraid of the man. The man Jack had barely seen or spent time with.
“Where’s mom?” Jack finally got the courage to ask after a while.
Lucifer narrowed his brow and shook his head simply.
Jack didn’t believe a word his father said about the accident. How Kelly was hurt. Jack ran into his house screaming for his Mom…Thinking it had to be a joke somehow. That Lucifer was lying to him like he always does. But when Jack finally calmed down, his whole mind going numb, he found himself in his dad’s car. Blinking slowly without a thought in his head as they drove to the morgue.
Chapter 2: I know what I am going to do with you.
The shock inside Jack grew intensely as the dieners uncovered Kelly’s body. Her face was beyond recognition, and her body was broken in ways that would stay with Jack for the rest of his life.
The scream he emitted when he saw his mother seemed to fill the entire morgue. Breathless and scared, Jack could feel his heart rip and the life nearly fall out of him as he hit the floor. When he came to, Jack couldn’t hear or speak. His voice was gone and his ability to move ceased.
The moments passed with a harsh blur as Jack remained mute and immobile. Lucifer looked at his son and watched him for a moment, then looked to the morgue assistant.
“Just a waste of forty grand.” He said under his breath, and gestured to the doctors to cover Kelly back up.
. . .
Jack couldn’t feel anything and as the days went by, he found his life changing from the inside out while turning upside down. He couldn’t help but cry at times, scream and then go silent. Rocking back and forth thinking of his mother.
Weeks went by and Jack still didn’t resurface. Suffering from a severe depression, he missed out on a lot of school and his date with Alex Jones. Even though everyone at school found out about Jack’s mother dying through the news.
Clark called but Jack didn’t pick up. He forgot about his friends and everything that was normal to him. Not knowing what to say or what to do for himself, Jack remained catatonic and sorrowful.
During this time, Lucifer saw it all as an opportunity and he handled everything. The arrangements, the funeral and ultimately making Jack move into his large house on the other side of town. Though this was not all out of the kindness of his heart. Lucifer calculated every expense and in the end still counted it all against Kelly; adding to her debt to him.
“She owes me forty two grand now.” Lucifer said bluntly as he lit himself a cigarette. Jack had been sitting in his father’s living room, rocking back and forth. Lucifer looked at his sad son and shook his head. “And what am I going to do with you, kid?”
Jack blinked and continued to stare into space. Lucifer sighed and walked away from his son.
The house was wide, and stylish. Jack knew that his father was rich but his mother had never allowed him to even see Lucifer’s house. But Kelly was dead and now here he was with his father.
Where was his fight? Where was his will? Jack couldn’t find the strength in his body to fight against this. He didn't want to be there in Lucifer’s house. Not after what the man had done to his mother on that night, weeks ago.
What am I going to do? What can I do...without mom?
Jack got up and moved around the house. He eventually found an empty room to claim as his own, and he lay on the bed, crying and watching the day turn to night.
. . .
At two in the morning, the door opened and closed with a slam.
Jack jolted awake when he heard his bedroom door close. Rubbing his eyes, the young boy sat up slowly, watching Lucifer in a daze as he walked over to Jack and slapped him abruptly.
“Ow! What was that for?” Jack complained.
Lucifer didn’t reply. He simply got onto Jack’s bed, climbing on top of him quickly.
“Stop! What the hell are you doing!” Jack shouted as his father got on top of him and bent down his wrist. In the confusion, Jack fought back and struggled wildly with all his strength. Kicking and screaming.
Jack kicked at the older man until his father punched him hard in the face. Then struck Jack once more in his stomach. Jack curled into a ball and cried in pain.
Lucifer grinned at Jack and hit him again, in his back this time.
Jack cried and imploded as the beating continued. Confusion ripping through his body and mind. His soul was already wounded from his mother’s murder, and now his father was beating him for no apparent reason.
“Dad! Stop please! What did I do?” Jack begged, trying to defend himself from the blows. But they kept coming, until one last punch knocked Jack out.
Lucifer panted as he finally stopped. Licking his lips and wiping off the sweat on his forehead, he hopped off Jack’s bed and left the room. Walking down the hall, he stopped by the hidden corner and set the house alarm. Not for the sake of home safety, but only because he didn’t want to have any interruptions tonight. Going into the master bedroom, Lucifer grabbed a large bottle of oil from his dresser
Tossing it onto his king-sized bed, Lucifer quickly left his room and went back into Jack’s. The middle aged man licked his lips slowly, and went for his son. Picking the thin boy carefully off the bed, over his shoulder, and carrying him to the master bedroom….
There the man placed Jack onto the large bed, and flipped Jack over onto his front, carefully.
Taking a step back, Lucifer marveled at Jack’s body before undoing his own buckle and jeans. Feeling a foulness thriving inside him, Lucifer freed his vicious erection.
Taking off his shirt and stepping out of his jeans, Lucifer climbed back on top of his unconscious son. Pushing down Jack’s black pants, taking off his shirt and rolling off his underwear.
Spreading Jack’s legs and backside, Lucifer took the bottle of oil and poured volumes of it onto Jack’s entrance.
Jack opened his eyes slowly and groaned. Feeling a thick wetness run down inside him.
Not caring about his son waking up, Lucifer took Jack by the hips and pulled them up.
“I know what I am going to do with you…” Lucifer said, and without a second thought Lucifer took his cock and pushed his way inside of Jack.
“AH!” Jack’s eyes shot all the way open as shock and pain shot up his back. “DAD! DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!!!” Jack screamed in confusion at a monstrous volume.
Lucifer pushed down Jack’s hips and began to pump. Riding Jack down into the bed and ripping the muscle of Jack’s rectum and breaking the skin. Jack’s eyes bulged, and he shouted mindlessly for his mother.
“MOM! MOM-M!!!” He thought of her and remembered her smashed up face and torn body. “DAD, STOP-P IT!!!” Tears poured out of Jack eyes, and his throat became hoarse from shouting.
It seemed to have lasted forever. Lucifer pounding away into his own son and their skin smacking together loudly, until...
“AW, SHIT.” Lucifer shouted in his final thrust.
With eyes wide and red, Jack gasped sharply and felt the terrible shock wash over him as he felt the swelling flood of his own father ejaculating inside of him.
Trembling, Jack dropped to the bed and sobbed at the top of his lungs.
Groaning, and after pumping to a finish, Lucifer pulled out of Jack. Leaving him on the bed limp and traumatized.
. . .
In the morning, Jack jolted awake violently. Numb and weak, he walked out of the master bedroom and saw his father sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette.
Lucifer got up and grabbed Jack by his throat, and said, “If you ever tell anyone about that I’ll do it again...then I’ll kill you slowly. You got that?”
Full of fear and confusion, Jack nodded with teary eyes. Lucifer smirked a little and continued to smoke his cigarette.
“Go clean yourself up and get ready for school.” He ordered.
Jack nodded again holding his head low, and slowly turned to go to the bathroom.
Crying in the shower, Jack cleaned himself, then hurried to get out. After getting dressed, he quietly gathered his books and headed towards the door.
Jack sat in History class not paying attention to the lesson, and just waiting for the day to be over. The analog clock on the wall above his head clicked with every passing second, and Jack began to sweat profusely at the sound of the clicking.
Lucifer had pushed his way inside of him…the feeling was sickening and Jack shivered at the thought of the man’s cock sliding in and out of him.
Their skin meeting in sticky wet claps and Jack just screaming. The bed moving and Jack’s fist clutching the sheets as he got fucked….
Don’t say ‘raped’ Don’t say ‘raped’ Don’t say ‘raped’ Jack repeated in his mind. Trying not to scream at the top of his lungs like he did last night.
It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. He’d never do that, right?
“If you ever tell anyone about that I’ll do it again...then I’ll kill you slowly. You got that?”
Jack blinked, remembering what Lucifer said to him earlier in the morning. It wasn’t a dream...it was only the razor sharp beginning of a nightmare.
Lunch was a blur, and all the guys at his table sat around him just talking about the girls they had slept with at Patience’s party a while back.
“Dude, the bitch sucked me off in the back seat of Nicky’s car!” Donovan exclaimed.
“No the fuck she didn’t, get the hell out of here!” both Simon and Eric laughed and threw food at Donovan. Clark chuckled and looked over to Jack, who looked uncomfortable at all the sex talk.
Jack’s heart was racing and his skin was clammy. All he could do was fight to remain calm and not scream in front of everyone. The boys continued to hoot and holler until Jack couldn’t take it anymore.
“Jack!” Clark called for his best friend, and watched as Jack continued to get up and walk away.
Inside the boy’s bathroom, Jack struggled with the memories of Kelly’s smashed up body and the thing that happened with his dad. He had been so irritated with his friends and their constant bragging about the sex they’d had. It was infuriating, and it made his face red and skin crawl as if a thousand bugs were on him.
Jack sunk to the floor in the stall and scratched his skin, fighting back tears. That’s when the realization hit him. Jack thought about what happened and realized he was not a virgin anymore.
I got fucked...by my own dad. Jack thought, and felt the tears fall down his face.
Heartbroken and destroyed, Jack stayed there until the last bell rang for the end of the day.
. . .
Jack walked into the house and felt a heaviness weigh on him. It was frightening, and he contemplated going into the washroom on the far side of the home to drink a whole gallon of bleach.
He won’t be able to do it again and at least I’ll be with mom, Jack thought, and began to walk over to the washing area. But just as he made his way, the front door opened and closed.
Jack flinched, and before he could turn around, Lucifer locked the door and began to speak.
“You’re going to do everything I fucking tell you, you got that?” The man said.
Jack frowned and looked up at him. He didn’t respond he just watched in fear as Lucifer dropped his bags and walked over to him. Looking the boy directly in his eye, the man unbuckled his own pants.
“Get on your knees. And If you bite it I’ll knock the teeth out of your mouth. If you throw up on me, I’ll fucking beat your ass and make sure you don’t eat for a month. Now get on your damn knees.” Lucifer warned.
Jack hesitated and his mind raced to what the boys were talking about earlier. Something about having oral sex...then Jack’s eyes widened as it dawned on him what his father meant about getting on his knees.
Lucifer was impatient. And he punched Jack in the chest...making him cough and curl over. “Don’t make me repeat myself, kid.” Lucifer said.
Jack slowly got on his knees in front of his father, trembling, crying and begging. Lucifer laughed, and just took Jack firmly by the jaw and shoved his cock down the boy’s throat.
Jack choked and pulled away, but the man slapped him and forced his way back in.
After long moments of crying, choking and struggling, Jack eventually began to suck.
Resisting the urge to bite or vomit, he sobbed and sucked. Bobbing his head back and forth and trying not to think of what he was tasting; the feeling of a swollen cock head on his tongue. Jack was blinded by tears, and after a while Lucifer made him stop
.“I’m going to have to teach you how to suck a damn dick.” Lucifer grumbled, and pulled up his pants then buckled them. He walked away. leaving Jack in the room, crying loudly.
2 months later.
Lucifer moaned, and held the back of Jack’s head as he sat on the couch, watching TV.
“Keep it in your throat…. breathe in and keep it up in there.” Lucifer demanded.
Jack slurped, hummed and licked, bobbing his head with his eyes closed tight. Skillful now from a full two months of practice, Jack performed and sucked the older man until Lucifer came in his mouth.
“Yes-s, Swallow that shit up…swallow it...swallow it good.” Lucifer directed, tugging on Jack’s hair until Jack did as he was told.
He gulped up the thick bitter semen without gagging. Swallowing hard and swirling his tongue around Lucifer’s slit, making the older man’s ass cheeks clench and his legs jump up.
Lucifer rolled his eyes back and laughed, and rubbed Jack’s hair, tugging at it again.
“Oh shit, that’s it, kid! Just like that!”
Jack continued to suck on the shaft and tongue the slit until Lucifer’s cock grew limp.
Pulling off with a sloppy pop, Jack wiped his mouth and sat up straight. He stared at the TV screen and watched it mindlessly. Feeling his heart beat heavily and fighting the urge to go kill himself.
Lucifer laughed at the comedy show, then noticed the young boy sitting beside him.
“Don’t you have homework to do?” Lucifer asked. Jack nodded, and got up to go do his homework.
In truth, Jack was having a hard time concentrating in his classes and was failing in nearly all of them. In his bedroom, Jack couldn’t focus. So he cried on his bed silently like he does whenever he finally gets a moment to be alone. After a few moments, the teenager got up and grabbed his journal...and without thinking he began to write.
Your body is mine.
I want you…I own you.
Do as I say and I’ll let you survive this.
Lower yourself before me. Taste and lick all of me until I am
satisfied. I care nothing for your cries and your fears. Just my own pleasure.
I own you.
I want you.
Your body is mine.
(Going to be making some changes to this fic in terms of writing and structure and I'll make a correction update in the future. Until then, enjoy what you see and please excuse all the mistakes thank you.)
Chapter 4: I'll Never Kill Again.
Sitting alone in his apartment, Sam Winchester, sipped his coffee and read the obituary in his hand. The morning was cold and quiet. He wore a simple black suit with his long hair was slicked back, still damp from the rain. His expression was full of sorrow, though he tried to remain as stoic as possible.
Dean’s funeral went as expected. Silent with winds howling. It had disappointed Sam deeply to be late for the service and the burial. Not only because he had missed everything but also because his brother in law forbade him to attend the funeral in the first place.
Castiel was truly heartbroken more than anyone...more than Sam you could say. Castiel was Dean’s dearest companion beside his brotherhood with Sam but still...a newlywed who is freshly widowed carries a certain amount pain that not even a brother could ever understand.
“I said that I didn’t want to see you.” Castiel had said to Sam during the funeral that morning. “I told you not to come here.”
“I’m sorry Cas. He was my brother and I loved him. You have to let me say goodbye.” Sam said as they stood together in the rain. Watching as Dean’s black coffin was lowered into the ground.
Castiel watched and twisted the two wedding rings on his finger. His tears mixing in the rain.
“You took my husband from me, Sam. Remember that.” Castiel whispered. “You took away the only man I could only ever care for. You’re the one that broke my heart, not him.”
“Castiel, I am so sorry.” Sam turned and looked to Cas and tried to touch his shoulder. But Castiel flinched and snapped,
“Just leave! Now and don’t ever come back around me or my daughter ever again!” Castiel turned away from Sam and motioned for Claire to come with him as he began to walk. Claire looked at Sam wanting to say something to the tall man. But Castiel shouted for Claire to follow him and reluctantly she obeyed.
Sam had stood alone in the rain for a long time and he remembered. Everything that happened. The last job both he and Dean worked. The people they killed, the money involved and how Sam killed Dean.
Now, Sam blinked, his eyes too dry for tears. He was done with the life he lived and he wanted out. So he pushed away his coffee cup, threw down the obituary and grabbed the car keys to the old Impala.
Castiel’s words echoing in the back of his mind as he left the town of Marksville. Sam drove aimlessly throughout the day and night until he reached Jameson. There in the decent city, Sam started to live a quiet life of regret.
In his new apartment, Sam spent days and nights in silence, finding peace in his misery. Lonely but set with all the money he could ever need he rebuilt his life and made a promise to himself one evening as he sorted through his weaponry. A promise to never kill again.
Broken yet stoic, Sam Winchester locked away all of his guns and knives in his closet and closed the door.
The bed rocked and rapped mercilessly against the wall as Lucifer labored like a brute on top of Jack. Focused on nothing more than busting his load early in that Saturday morning.
Saturdays were hell for Jack. They were filled with nothing but chores, homework, and assaults from his dad and this time was no different except for the fact that Jack was now becoming used to being the man’s toy.
Lucifer grumbled and pumped and Jack furrowed holding his legs out wide. Then a little wider. Mindless, Jack adjusted his hips just as the middle- age man slammed down.
“Aw!” Jack released as his prostate got struck. Jack jumped and looked for signs if his father noticed. Lucifer smirked and didn't seem to mind as he continued to pound Jack’s tender spot.
Jack couldn’t hold back the noises he made and felt his toes grow numb. It felt good and bad all at once and he tried to forget who the man riding him was.
I’m just doing it with some random guy….it’s just a random guy. I’m just getting fucked… not raped. I’m not being raped...
Jack always tried to reason with himself in his mind. He’d fantasize that he was older and that it was all just a hook up from a bar. A one night stand….a date gone well with a guy he liked or just a romantic day with someone who loved him.
In all his fantasy, Jack would roll his eyes back and hold onto Lucifer. Bucking his lower body up in the man’s thrust and digging his nails into his father’s back. Clinching hard around his cock and just moaning.
. . .
Lucifer threw a wad of cash on the bed after climbing off of Jack. Jack sat up slowly, feeling numb, and listening as his father ordered,
“Go to the store and pick up some stuff for food. Be back before noon. If you’re late, I will beat your ass, got it?”
Jack nodded quickly and grabbed the money.
It was already past eleven o’clock and Jack hurried out of the house. The market was just up the street but Jack walked at a quickened pace. The rapes were all he could withstand. It was the beatings that were too much, always too much. So Jack worked quickly to complete his goal.
While at the grocery store Jack grabbed everything from the frozen food section. He grabbed for cereal, pop tarts and other items that would fill the cupboards at home.
Jack looked at his phone as he shopped and noticed that the time was moving faster than usual. As if the universe was against him, like some sick joke. It was already eleven forty-five and the anxiety in Jack’s heart was heavy. He hadn’t even gotten to the cash register yet when he knew that he’d be in trouble when he gets home.
‘Maybe...maybe I’ll just go down on him and he won’t hit me this time .’ Jack thought...not realizing how dark the thought was. Shaking his head at himself, Jack began to push the cart quickly down the aisle. Rushing to get over to the cashiers.
But Jack didn’t notice as he was moving too fast that he slammed into someone’s else's cart...knocking it over and sending all the items and food over to the floor.
“HEY!” The man yelled angrily and Jack turned and saw what had happened and who was shouting at him.
Embarrassed and worried, Jack thoughtlessly ran over trying to correct his mistake.
“I’m so sorry sir!” the boy repeated hopelessly as he tried to pick up the bags of produce.
Sam Winchester grabbed his cart and settled it upright and watched as the dark-haired teenager hurried to place everything in the cart.
“No, you don’t have to do that.” Sam attempted to wave the boy away without getting a good look at him…then finally he settled his glare on the kid and paused. Jack looked up almost at the same time and saw the man’s face completely.
It was strange as they saw one another. As if the whole world seemed to fall away and become silent. A peculiar weight linking between them.
It was an awkward, yes...yet there was a polite understanding in the air.
Sam Winchester blinked and furrowed his brows, noticing the adolescent’s eyes. They were full of sadness and hurt. Skilled with reading a person and their body language Sam sensed the fear and anxiety in the boy and felt sorry for him…...and somehow an urge for concern. But the man held back his want to ask, Are you alright ?
Jack shook at the unusual feeling and said,
“I’m sorry again, sir.” then he turned away immediately, grabbing his cart and feeling uncomfortable in the strength of the man’s stare.
As soon as Jack got home the time turned a minute past noon and Lucifer was standing in the doorway with a belt in his hand.
When I saw him with the belt, I dropped to my knees….begging him not to hurt me.
“Dad please….I’ll do anything. Just don’t hit me please.” He laughed and came closer throwing away the belt and unzipping his pants.
I suck on him as hard and as fast as possible. Taking in all of him as I gripped onto his thighs.
When he stopped me, I was surprised...until Dad slapped me and grabbed me by the hair. Pulling on me until we got to the master bedroom. Throwing me down on the bed, he laughed and ripped off my pants.
“Back to work.” He snorted and shoved his way back into me.
I should have fought him. Ran away from home or called for help. But I didn’t...because I was too scared. Because when he touches me, he hits a spot that makes me jump out my skin.
I don’t think I should like this. I don’t think it was right. But he gets me there and he goes on and on until I am screaming differently. Not for help or begging him to stop. But for him to keep going.
“You like that shit?” He asked me gingerly with a smirk on his face. Painful hot tears pour out of my eyes and I couldn’t help it...I couldn’t help but moan out,
In my own defense, Dad was doing it slowly to me now. Grinding against me and making my toes curl. Nibbling on my earlobes and whispering how tight I was. Oh, the sound of his voice was both frightening and warm. It made my knees weaken and my ass shiver.
I felt my gut caving in as deep...deep moans evacuated from my stomach, chest, and throat. “Awww, AWWW!”
Dad sped up and I just...I just let it all out. I didn't think about it I just let my thighs grow wide and listened to the unholy sound of our skin slapping.
I didn’t know that I was holding onto his shoulders. My eyes rolling back, my breathing becoming shallow and my mouth hanging all open. I’m not supposed to like this but my head tilts back and I am begging him...begging him to just keep going.
It takes him forever and a
fterward, I lay beside my father as he slept. Confused and ashamed of myself for what I just did with him. I want to go to the kitchen and get a knife to slit his throat…and maybe even my own.
Sam walked into his bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Not exhausted from the jog but exhausted from the depression weighing down on him.
When they were captured during their mission Dean had told Sam to do it...to shoot him and Sam couldn’t understand why or how Dean could make such a decision. Sam blinked trying to figure it all out. He hated himself so much now...that instead of fighting their way own together….Sam obeyed his older brother and pulled the trigger.
Sam bit down on his lower lip...contemplating about the guns in his closet. The dark thought of suicide flashed through his mind for a brief second.
“No...Dean would never want me to do that.” Sam thought and closed his wet eyes. “Never...I’ll never kill again. Not even myself.”
Sam gulped down his anxiety and turned on his side. Allowing his thoughts to roam further in his mind. Then suddenly Sam thought of the boy he ran into at the market and how sad his eyes were.