Ironically, Jack’s in the shower when it happens.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Bitty says, and it’s with enough disdain that Jack pulls back the curtain enough to look at him.
Bitty’s holding his toothbrush with one hand and--unsurprisingly, the box tends to wander--a note from the sex box in the other. He’s got a smear of toothpaste at the corner of his mouth, looking adorably rumpled in one of Jack’s shirts.
Jack is too busy admiring to really give a proper response, and Bitty turns to him with eyebrows raised expectantly.
“I’m not sure I want to know,” Jack says, even though he Really Does, and ducks back behind the curtain. He’s getting shampoo in his eyes, and that’s not really a sexy precursor to anything.
“Well you’re gonna,” Bitty mutters, and Jack hears him hop up onto the counter. It makes a very distinctive noise, one that Jack is Very Aware of because they’re Done Things on that counter. A Lot of Things.
“Are we still going to be friends with Shitty and Lardo after this conversation?”
“It’s not a repeat of the baked goods thing.”
That’s not a no, so Jack figures he’s fine to still have Shitty over for brunch tomorrow. Depending on what follows, he might invite Lardo too. The two of them really kind of deserve a very expensive meal for what they’ve given Jack and Bitty. Not that either of them would admit it.
“It’s not even the worst thing we’ve pulled out of the box,” Bitty says, probably still thinking about the baking supplies thing. Jack thought that had worked out pretty well for them in the end.
“Bud, it kinda feels like the box is open for interpretation,” Jack replies, because he feels like he has to defend it. It’s given him a lot.
“There’s not a lot to interpret here.”
Jack turns off the shower and pulls back the curtain. He doesn’t miss the way Bitty immediately checks him out (and isn’t that a confidence boost, even after all this time) and does preen a little bit when he snags a towel.
“What’s it say?”
Bitty pouts but hands him the note, like informing Jack is ruining all his dramatic fun.
‘Slip n slide n feel the glide: shower sex for the modern age’
Jack’s initial reaction is to laugh, both over the phrasing and the image of slip n slide sex.
Bitty’s grinning too when Jack looks up at him, and it makes the whole thing seem even more ridiculous.
“Is your vendetta against Shitty’s future career as a poet or the actual act of shower sex?”
“Shower sex is dangerous,” Bitty insists. “Although perhaps not as dangerous as that thought of Shitty becoming a poet.”
“He could write shit based on Lardo’s work. Or our sex life.”
Bitty bites back a smile. “This is serious.”
Jack settles his hands on either side of Bitty’s thighs on the counter, the note dropped between them. “We both take sex very seriously.”
“We do when there are safety concerns. We could fall and die. Do you know how embarrassing that would be? To be discovered in the shower, mid-sex, with our necks broken?”
“I gave you a shower blow job a week ago. It’s not that dangerous.”
Bitty shakes his head. “I’m not talking about blow jobs or hand jobs, Jack. I’m talking about something that would take a little more maneuverability.”
And. Well. Jack has never vocally expressed a desire for that, but he’s thought about it often enough.
“It’s doable,” Jack says, and even he can hear the roughness in his voice.
“Have you done it before?” Bitty’s voice is light, expression open, but there’s enough tension in his shoulders for Jack to know that experience, despite how much of it they have with each other, is at least a pillar in the bigger issue.
So Jack leans in until he’s nose to nose with Bitty before he answers. “No, but I’ve thought about you in the shower a lot. Do you count that?”
Bitty’s whole face flushes pink.
And Jack Really Likes that. So he keeps talking.
“The shower is really the only place I can get some privacy on roadies. Tater’s great, but I’d much prefer to share a room with you.” He noses along Bitty’s clavicle, reveling in the way his skin is so warm, the way his fingers clutch at the edge of the countertop.
“That’s different,” Bitty says, but his voice is reedy, a hitch in his breath in the middle of the word.
“Only because I was touching myself instead of you,” Jack replies, inching his way back up Bitty’s neck, lips a soft drag against skin as he speaks. He doesn’t really want to admit it, but he’s definitely had shower sex fantasies starring Bitty in all his wet skin, water-warmed glory. “I really wanted it to be you though.”
Bitty’s breath hitches again.
“Especially after that first time I caught you in the shower, screaming.”
Bitty laughs, hands coming up to weave their way through Jack’s wet hair. “Excuse you, I was singing. I didn’t scream until after you showed up.”
“I can guarantee it would be a different kind of screaming this time.”
“Jack Zimmermann, you can’t seduce me into having shower sex with you.”
“What about bathtub sex?”
Bitty’s silent for so long that Jack leans back, worried he’s pushing too hard.
“We don’t have to do anything, Bits,” he says, “Not if you aren’t comfortable with it. Mutual consent is--”
“Shush.” Bitty settles his palm gently against Jack’s cheek, expression pinched, face still flushed. “I’m thinking about being fucked in our very large whirlpool bathtub.”
Jack’s smile twitches and he turns his head enough to press a kiss to Bitty’s wrist. “Any thoughts you want to share with the class?”
Bitty bites his lip. “Let me think without your sexy interference, you heathen.”
Jack starts to back up, give him some space, but Bitty links his ankles behind Jack’s back. He drops his hands from Jack’s hair to trace along the damp skin of his shoulders.
“We really don’t have to,” Jack says, and Bitty smiles at him.
“I know. But I bought waterproof lube for our trip next month and this is kind of a great opportunity to test it out.”
“You bought what?”
But Bitty’s already off the counter, ducking around the corner and disappearing into their room, leaving Jack standing in their bathroom wearing nothing but a towel. A towel that is doing Very Little to hide his semi.
Bitty’s back before Jack can even really consider going after him, a bottle clutched in his hand. He’s on Jack so quickly that Jack can’t do much more than catch him and kiss back with as much enthusiasm as he can. Which, admittedly, is A Lot.
“Are you sure?” he asks, when Bitty breaks them apart for air.
“Yes. Very. We’re gonna need the other bathroom for this.”
And Jack is Very Happy he listened when their real estate agent recommended the apartment with the whirlpool tub.
It doesn’t take them long to get naked. In fact, it takes longer to fill the tub with warm water than it does for Bitty to strip out of Jack’s shirt and his boxers.
Jack considers asking for a striptease, but then they’d never make it into the tub. He does, however, sit on the edge of the tub, reeling Bitty in to stand between his thighs.
Bitty leans down and presses a kiss to Jack’s forehead, and Jack loves being taller than Bitty, loves it A Lot, but every so often, when Bitty does tender stuff like that, Jack wishes he was just a little bit closer to Bitty’s height.
“Do you think that’s enough water, sweetpea?” Bitty asks, expression open and amused, and Jack doesn’t really want to look away from him, except, Oh Shit, that’s water against his ass. Their bathroom is about to be Very Wet.
Jack quickly shuts off the water spout and debates draining it a bit. Except, Bitty’s still laughing quietly, far too dry for the slip n slide sex act note, so Jack just climbs in, water displacement be damned, and wraps an arm around Bitty’s waist, tugging him in with him.
The water lurches and spills over before they settle, and despite his hard cock, Jack takes the time to splash water at Bitty playfully.
Bitty, all business, dunks Jack’s head underwater.
The bathroom floor is soaked almost instantly, between Jack’s flailing and Bitty’s merciless waves, and Jack can’t bring himself to care. Because Bitty is just as attractive soaking wet as he is dry and Jack Desperately wants to take advantage of that.
He tugs Bitty close then turns, trapping him in a corner, and Bitty goes willingly, wrapping his arms leisurely around Jack’s shoulders. Jack skims his hands up Bitty’s sides, thumbing at the soft skin over his ribs, the delicious arc of his abs, his nipples, pebbled and pressed against Jack’s chest.
Jack’s hard dick is probably relieved they’re finally doing something, if dicks had feelings, which, Jack supposes, they do in a non-emotional sense.
“You’re distracted.” Bitty laughs into the kiss, mostly tongue at this point.
“You’re distracting,” Jack mutters back, grinding up against Bitty in a slow, wet drag of skin. And he is, wet hair stuck at funny angles, golden skin glistening, drops of water curling across his collarbones. Bitty was right; this is dangerous, but only because Jack is fairly certain he’s never going to let Bitty go.
It’s perfect, everything smooth and warm and wonderfully slick, the barest hint of friction even as Jack slides against Bitty’s stomach, against Bitty’s cock, between Bitty’s thighs.
Jack would be content to just rub against Bitty in the warm water, everything slick and weightless. And Bitty seems inclined to let him do it for a bit, sucking dark marks into Jack’s neck, until Jack’s dick slides and catches against Bitty’s hole.
The action makes them both moan, movement stalling for a moment.
“Okay, yeah, we need to start moving,” Bitty groans, pulling his lips off Jack’s neck with one last nip. He turns around, the curve of his ass perfectly situated against Jack’s cock, and Jack moans, low and long.
“I thought we were moving pretty well.”
Bitty smirks and snatches the lube of the edge of the tub, settling his elbows on the white ceramic. He looks over his shoulder at Jack, the perfect picture of debauchery. “You wanna do the honors?”
“You’re the one who wants it,” Jack replies, mostly joking, bracing against the side of the tub so he can brush against Bitty’s ass some more. His cock fits just perfectly and BItty’s ass is truly a Thing Of Wonder.
He remembers their intercrural sex with clarity, and he thinks there’s another word for what he’s doing, rutting his cock between Bitty’s cheeks. He’s just also lucky his brain is using words right now at all, so he figures he can google it later if he really wants to know.
And Bitty, lovely, wet Bitty, is turning back around to settle himself on Jack’s lap. He kisses Jack, slow and inviting and distracting enough that Jack almost misses when Bitty presses lube-covered fingers back behind himself.
Jack can’t decide if he’s on the wrong side of Bitty for this, because he loves watching Bitty’s fingers stretch and glide, loves the way he opens so beautifully for Jack.
But his face, with its fluttering eyelids and bitten lips, is right in front of him, and Jack can’t find it in himself to be disappointed with that.
“You’d think,” Bitty says, pausing to adjust, and Jack can see it on his face, he’s up to two fingers now (it’s a Very Specific Expression, Jack would know). “With how eager you were for this that you’d work a little harder.”
“I’ll have you know I worked very hard,” Jack says, running his hands up Bitty’s thighs to his hips, settling his thumbs along those beautiful hip bones. “I heated this water up myself.”
Bitty rolls his eyes and adds a third finger, and the water around them is moving, lapping up Bitty’s arm as he pushes fingers into himself with certainty. “And nearly drowned the place in the process. Not a great argument, sweetpea,” he chirps.
Jack kind of feels like he’s going to die. Because -- chirps aside -- there’s a ridiculously hot blond fingering himself in Jack’s bathtub, with every intention of riding Jack’s dick.
Jack lets go of Bitty with one hand and fists himself.
“Hey.” Bitty drops his free hand from the edge of the tub to Jack’s lap. “Don’t end the party before I get there.”
“It is your party,” Jack concedes, reluctantly letting go of his dick. He puts his hand to better use though, inching it back around Bitty’s ass to where Bitty’s fingers are working.
Slick with lube, Jack’s fingers glide alongside Bitty’s with careful pressure until his index finger slides inside. Bitty breathes in sharply and drops his forehead down onto Jack’s shoulder. He’s shaking now, and Jack squeezes his hip with his other hand.
“You good, bud?” Jack asks, relishing in the feeling of his thick finger brushing inside with Bitty’s slender ones. It’s hot and slick and warm and Jack could also see himself just fingering Bitty for a good long while.
Bitty rocks back, essentially riding their fingers, and yeah, okay, Jack sees the need for more now. He presses in deeper, shifting until he finds it, and Bitty arcs over him, eyes and mouth wide.
“Jack,” he gasps, loud and echoing against the tile around them, and that’s Jack’s cue to get things moving.
“Hold tight, Bits,” he says, gently tugging both his and Bitty’s fingers out. Bitty clutches at Jack’s hips, practically floating over Jack’s lap.
Jack turns them so that he’s the one with his back pressed against the tub and reaches for the bottle of lube. He squirts a generous amount into his palm and looks at Bitty before taking himself in hand again.
“It’s a lot better with you here,” he says. “Shower masturbation isn’t gonna cut it after this.”
Bitty runs his hands up from Jack’s hips to his shoulders. “I guess you’ll have to call me next time, so I can talk you through it.”
Jack shivers, a full body motion that makes Bitty preen. Jack stops stroking his cock long enough to line up with Bitty. “Shall we get the party started, Bits?”
“Party hard,” Bitty says, then winks and presses down onto Jack.
The water suddenly feels a million degrees hotter with every slow press into Bitty. They sit still for a moment, after Bitty’s fully seated, pressed together completely. Jack can feel Bitty’s heartbeat, and he breathes with him slowly, a closeness that never gets old. Everything feels amplified in the water, every touch and glide of Jack’s fingertips across Bitty’s skin, every press of Bitty’s palms against Jack, feels like More. There’s a weightlessness that Jack can’t describe.
Then Bitty rocks and grinds down against him, his cock pinned between their stomachs, and Jack’s thoughts grind to a halt.
Jack tightens his grip on Bitty’s hips and he rolls his hips upward, water sloshing around them with every thrust. It’s mindless, almost, the way they shift and pull and gasp, gripping at each other as though if they let go for a second the other will drift away.
It’s a party and a chase and an aching closeness that Jack feels in his chest and pooling in his stomach. He lets go of Bitty’s hips with one hand, reaching between them to wrap his fingers around Bitty’s lovely neglected cock.
“Jack,” Bitty whines. “God, Jack, fuck.” All sorts of monosyllabic words fall from his lips, strung together with desperation and desire. It buries Jack in a wave of pleasure as he fists Bitty’s cock, chasing release for both of them.
Bitty comes first, warm and sudden between them, nails digging into Jack’s skin, his cries bouncing off the tile.
Jack presses himself closer and thrusts once, twice more before spilling into Bitty with a gasp.
The water sloshes around them and over the edge of the tub when Bitty finally slumps down against Jack. “We certainly made a mess,” he mumbles into Jack’s neck.
“I think we’ll survive.”
“We’ll have to clean all of this up eventually.”
Jack shrugs and lets himself dip deeper into the lukewarm water. “We can get a maid.”
Bitty gasps and splashes him, which Jack finds to be a little counterproductive on the whole cleaning front. “Jack Zimmermann, we will not get a maid. We will clean up after ourselves like gentlemen.”
Jack grins lazily, wrapping his arms tighter around Bitty’s waist. His movements are slow in the water, but he adores the easy glide of skin against skin.
“And we will,” he says, nosing at Bitty’s damp jawline. “Later.”
“The water’s getting cold. And gross.”
Jack can feel Bitty’s smile against his skin, even as he whines.
“We’ll run another bath. And then maybe ruin that one too.”
Bitty finally gives in and laughs, the sound echoing off the tile. He shakes his head, spraying little water droplets everywhere.
Jack presses a kiss to the soft skin behind Bitty’s ear. “Just for you, though, bud.”
“You, me, and this slip n slide sex act.”
Jack laughs so hard the water overflows again. “Shitty would be so proud.”
Bitty groans. “New rule: no talking about our friends when we’re post-sex. Or naked. At all.”
“Also, I have a proposal.”
Jack’s heart jumps, even though he knows that’s not what Bitty means. “Your mother will kill us if you ask me to marry you in a bathtub.”
Bitty rolls his eyes. “My mother would survive, but that’s not what I’m doing. I’m offering you a chance to see what else I bought when I got the waterproof lube, in exchange for getting out of the gross, cold, post-sex water.”
Jack almost slips on the tile in his haste.
Bitty definitely Doesn’t laugh.