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'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
-Seether- "Broken (feat. Amy Lee)"

Part One: (John's POV)

The first time John saw him; he stayed away from him and the group of girls that were hanging all over him. It wasn't the man that got his attention any ways. (It wouldn't of been, no John was so over geeks) it was the large Great Dane that was sitting at it's Master's feet looking well loved and feed. It was a great looking dog. But not one he thought he would thought to find on the breach, let alone moving into the house next to his. He hoped the dog wasn't a barker, he didn't want to be kept up at night or woken up early in the morning.

The next few days John noticed the amount of girls that seemed to move into the house next door, sure the house was a hell of a lot bigger then his but what would one guy want with all those girls? There had to be at least be eight of them and that one guy. John hoped it wasn't going to be something creepy because the eye patch could of summed that up for him.

He wondered what Rodney would think. But Rodney wasn't there to ask.


Summary: John gets a visitor.

Come to me weeping and come to me yearning,
We’ve paid for these hours, and we’ve always been lost,
Come and follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me follow me down...
Come and follow me, follow me down. -Follow me down- Seanan McGuire
Part Two:

It happened three days later that he found the dog sitting on his porch as if waiting for something, for someone. He knew that the dog had to come from next door. Perhaps the dog got lose and didn't know what house it was suppose to go back too. John hoped that he didn't have the kind of owner that was that careless. John took the large dog very carefully by the collar looking at the name, “Spike? They named you Spike?” John snorted it was a lame name for a dog. Yeah, it was conman as hell but it was still super lame. “Come on Spike.. Home is this way boy.” The dog just looked at him with what could almost be a doggy smirk and John lead the dog back to his proper home.

One of the many teenage girls was coming out when he got to the door. “Oh thank god you found him, I was going to be so dead! Come on Spike.” the girl reached over and took the dog's collar. John was about to say something when the man he saw before come out to stand behind the girl.

“Hey.” The man said then looked at the girl, “Claire, go take Spike inside, give him a bath.” The girl made a face but lead the dog in and the man looked at him. “Thank you.. Claire left the gate open we've been going mad over the past hour trying to find him.”

“Yeah, it's cool, he came over for a visit. I found him on my front step, I think he got mixed up on what house he was suppose to be, missed by one.” John gave the man a smile.

“Thanks.. I'm Alexander Harris, I saw you the other day.” Alex gave offered his hand and John took it.

“John Sheppard.” He had to fight himself not to put his rank in front of his name. It was still strange for him not to do that. “Yeah, I'm around normally, you're welcome.” Alex had nice hands, strong hands. Rough hands that meant he worked with his hands. John quietly told his body to shut up as it sat up to take notice.


“I better get back inside and call the girls out on the breach still looking for him. I'll see you around then. “

“Yeah, bye.” If he wasn't sure about the guy he really wasn't now.

Part 3: Xander's Pov

The first time Xander saw him he wasn't sure what to make of the guy, he was sure that he saw the dog tags around the guys neck. But he was far more distracted by the fact that the guy was wet and coming out of the water like some kind of sea god. Surf board trucked under one arm and hair flying every which way. It was like the guy walked out of some kind of porn movie or something.

Xander was very surprised to find out that Mr. Porno lived next door and had a real name, John Sheppard and not only that, he had found Spike, which made him win points in Xander's book.

Yet, it wasn't enough because Xander was here to do a job, to help his girls do a job then get out of here. They weren't going to be here for a long run, and if he did see dog tags it would be safer not to let the guy notice anything about his girls. Perhaps he still had a distrust for the government, but after what they did he was very sure that he had good reasons for it.

What Xander wasn't ready for was the fact the Mr. Porno or John Sheppard was going to turn up every where he went. When it was Xander's turn to go to the market John Sheppard was there. Looking good in a pair of tight blue jeans that made his ass look perfect. He felt silly lining up behind the man with his cart that was well past full.

“Hey,” Sheppard said, “Alex, right?” There was something about him that made Xander think of Oz, a lazy slow way of speaking but Xander just knew there was something more to him. Just like there was with Oz, but some how he doubt this man was a were-wolf.

“Most everyone calls me Xander, but Alex works.” Xander started to put things up on the counter for the checkout guy to ring up. Xander was just counting his lucky stars none of the girl's asked for anything those female things. Not that Xander minded buying them, they were important, and not having them were bad..and was Sheppard talking to him?

“You guys having a party?” Sheppard was eying all the food, Xander guessed it could look like they might be.

“Nope,teenage girls eat a lot of food,” Xander gave Sheppard an easy smile, trying to slip into the role of clown because that always worked on people. “It's amazing how much they can eat.”

Sheppard nodded, “Yeah and you have small army there don't you?”

Army? What army? Oh fuck.. No wait it was a joke, “Yep lucky me.”

Part Four: Xander POV

Xander was sure the girls were up to something they were standing around giggling and taking turns distracting him. Every time he tired to get something out of the girls they would just bring something else up. He should of known something was up when the girls said they would cook dinner and set the table and told him to go take Spike for a walk.

He should of known. But Xander was very distracted by the fact that the girls were being so nice. When teenage girls are nice something is always going on. He should of remember from his own time as a teenage boy. When he got back Sheppard was in the house talking to the girls and he looked like he was trying to figure out away out.

“Hey Alex.” God how could he sound so relaxed when they were more then likely in real danger. Because the girls were up to something. Xander let the dog go and watched as he went right over to Sheppard as if to demand to be petted. Xander waited a count of two heart beats to see what the other man would do. When the other man patted the dog and said, “Hey to you too Spike.” Xander smiled.

“I didn't know we were going to have someone over I would been here, was there something you needed?” Xander asked as he looked towards the kitchen.

“Naw, Jill said I should come over for dinner, she was really hard to say no to.”

Part five John's POV


John was surprised when he opened the door to find one of the girls from next door looking at him all cute and very much jail bait like.

“Hi-Mr.-Sheppard!-Me-and-the-other-girls-were-talking-and-we-sooo-think-you-should-come-over-for-dinner-you-know-like-a-thank-you-for-finding-Spike, come on over, kay? At Five. “

“Wait? What?” John asked because he was very sure she didn't take a breath to say any of that.

“We want you to come for dinner, at five.” She gave him the most sweetest little smiles that John ever did see. He knew he was doomed. Hell, he knew every person she ever gave that smile to was doomed.

“Okay.” He found himself saying even if he didn't want to say it.

Part 6

Dinner turned out to be the girls putting the food on the table then somehow disappearing so that it left John and Alex at the table. John was very sure they were set up as it left them with food and wine. They even took the fucking dog so that they would be all by themselves.

“So.” Alex started to say but John was very sure Alex was feeling the same thing that John was. That they were set up and that if they don't sit here having dinner, maybe talking, the girls would could come back and make them.

“Yeah.” They met each others eyes and started to laugh because they were set up by a group of teenagers. “Your girls are evil, you know that right?” John said taking a bite of food trying not to make a face. Because honestly he has eaten, worse out in the field, hell alien foods and some of those were a lot better.

Alex had the same look on his face, “I think there some left over pizza..or we could sneak out and try for something else.”

John found himself grinning at Alex, felt himself relax.

Part 7


John should have been surprised that they ended up on John's couch making out instead of Alex's. Two bottles of wine and some beer had lead them here, John was still not sure he wanted to be here. But when he looked into Alex's eyes and got the happy thought hat he was about get laid he found himself so not caring. Alex tasted great he, tasted better then the wine and beer even through he was just drinking it.

The fingers in his hair made him sharply aware, it made him take up notice the way Alex took command of him. Alex was guiding the the kiss, he was taking John. It was as if Alex understood what it was like to be lonely, like he needed John to fill his lungs. It felt like to John that Alex was breathing for both of them.

“Alex,” he whispered as he broke the kiss, his lips felt puffy and bruised. It felt good, it felt like being alive.

Xander loved the way John called him Alex, but he loved it more when it came out a breathless whisper, when John sounded like was begging for something. It almost made something snap in him. He would give John what ever the fuck he wanted. “I'm here John.” he answered back his hands going down the other's man's chest.

It has been to long sense Xander had someone to kiss, someone to hold in his arms. He pressed John back into the couch, pressed him back into the softness of it and found himself looking into the other man's eyes. They were clouded, needy and alive. He wanted to laugh but that might make him sound even more crazy then he already was. “Damn, you really are a walking porno.” Xander really didn't mean to say that but it just came out and it was there between them.

Xander was very glad he said it when John gave him such a fucking hot, open wide smile that it made Xander's penis harden even more at the sight of it. “I try my best.” John answered pulling Xander down to kiss him. They were pressed together from lips to hips. John's legs were trapping his so that he couldn't move, couldn't get away.

He wasn't sure who moved their hips first, but their hips were moving and they were rubbing their cloth covered cocks over each other's. They were rubbing like they were teenagers, lost in the heat of the kisses. Xander wanted skin, wanted to feel John's cock rubbing on his. He needed to feel the warmth of his body. He needed to feel what it was like to have John come on him. “Skin..want skin.”

John groaned as Xander took away his lips,”Yeah..yeah, fuck..yeah.” John's hands were on Xander's fly pulling it down pushing down his pants. Xander tired to do the same for John but he got as far as getting his zipper down before he figure out that he had to get up so that he could yank John's pants off. It was hard to do so, because losing the warmth of John felt sicking, but the desire to get off won over the desire to cling.

Once they were both bottomless they pulled each other's shirts right over their heads. Xander wasn't sure how he got here, how he ended up naked and sweaty on his couch and this man under him. He didn't worry for long because thoughts were soon rather hard to have, as they gasped for breath. Hands pulling each other close. Sweat and pre-come adding to the slick heat between them as hip pressed to hip and cock rube on cock. John's hands were grabbing Xander's ass.

“Alex,” John growled on his lips. His fingers brushed between the checks of Xander's ass, fingers brushing over his over his open and Xander saw white. Pleasure. White Heat. Blinding him and over coming him, making him scream John's name, thankfully John's name, not the nick name that Xander had given him in his mind. He came so hard that it felt painful. He used his spilled juices to lube his hand as he gather John's cock in his fist.

John joined him in the fire hot death of pleasure in the next few seconds as Xander pumped his cock. The man kissed him again, kissed him so long, so hard, until he his lungs burned he was ready to beg for John to stop only to beg him to start again.

Xander was floating there on top of John nice and dirty. “God, Alex I think you killed me.” Sheppard chuckled into Xander's ear.

Part: 8

John took his shower last letting Alex shower first as he had to get back to the girls, it seemed only fair that Alex go fist. It has been to long sense John had been able let go like that. Perhaps there was something to have lift his life in the Air Force, he didn't have to sneak around to find a bit of pleasure with another man. He could just pick up the man who lived next to him with out even knowing anything about him.

That was new, maybe there was something in the really bad food that Alex's girls had made. John sighed. He still didn't know what was up with the girls but it looked more like Alex was taking care of them then getting into their panties. If what they did meant Alex was gay then he really didn't have to worry about with the girls.

There still was something nagging at him about the girls through. Something that tugged at his mind and made him wonder what he was missing. All of the girls seemed to work together very well. John turned his head as he got out of the shower to listen for Alex, there was the strong wonderful smell of coffee coming from John's kitchen. Which made John grin, because coffee was a wonderful idea.

John entered the kitchen a second later having putting on sweat pants he found Alex sitting at his kitchen table. Alex was was looking to his coffee cup. Alex looked like a solider clinging to the few seconds of down time he had before having to go back out to fight. He had seen that look a lot of times in his life. Hell, he wore that look more times then he can count.

“There coffee.. I needed to wake up.” Alex said as he looked up, the thinking look fade from Alex's face as he looked over John's bare chest. John felt himself smile as Alex did that. It made him feel sexy, desirable and down right hot when Alex did that to him. What had Alex call him? 'A walking porno'? He wanted to laugh. But he couldn't bring the sound out of his mouth, instead he moved his way over to the coffee pot.


Part 9

Xander was enjoying sitting at John's kitchen table watching him pour his coffee. He was sure it had been the last beer that made it a good idea to kiss John. There seemed to be a stillness between them as if they were both trying to figure out where they stood. Was this a one night stand? It was still night so was there suppose to be more standing? Well, kneeling, petting, sucking and fucking, Xander would be happy with all of that.

His head jerk towards the door when he heard a knock, it was sharp, polite, and some where in his mind he knew who the knock belong too. Yet, he wasn't ready yet to leave this place. He wasn't sure if he was ready to go back to the girls and face his life. He needed a break he knew that. When John went to answer the door part of Xander wanted to call out, 'Don't invite anyone in.' Because that was the number one rule for everyone that lived in the house next door. Well, no one they never saw in daylight.

When he heard the very British voice that belong to one of his oldest friends he knew his play time was up. For a fearful second he wondered if he would be in trouble for not being in the house at this time of night. Xander firmly reminded himself that he was an adult. Xander stood and wondered out to see Rupert Giles standing in front of John trying to explain he was looking for Xander that it was a matter of most importance to be handled at once.

Which meant someone might of died, the world was going to come to an end, or both. Xander walked until he was standing behind John's shoulder and he was looking Giles in the eyes. “Hey Giles.”

“Xander.. I need to speak to you.” He knew the moment that Giles spoke it was both. It was what they faced every other Tuesday but it didn't make it easy. He prayed it wasn't Willow or Buffy that died, he prayed that Andrew was around some where out side annoying the girls. Fuck, it better not be Faith either. No one from Sunnydale.

Xander told himself not to panic, not to react in front of John. He gave his best Xander smile, “Sure Giles, just give me a second I'll be right back to the house.” Giles gave him a nod and looked one more time at John giving him a nod as well as he turned to walk back to the house. Xander watched him go and enter through the front door before he turned back to John.

Before he could even figure out what to tell John, John was leaning over and kissing Xander. A hungry kiss, a kiss that said John was hoping that they would get one more chance to do what they did tonight. Xander kissed him back and tasting coffee and John. He was glad he was going to have that taste in his mouth it might make the next few hours livable. To pretend he has someone waiting for him, well he did have someone waiting for him. Even if that person was just thinking they had a fuck bobby because that's all this was right now, right? They barely knew each other.

“See you tomorrow Alex.”

Xander liked it when John called him 'Alex'.


part: 10

John didn't see him tomorrow or the day after that. What he saw was a group of even more girls, a few guys, one of them being the older guy, Giles, that had came to collect Alex the other night. It looked they something big going on. Something nagged at John because he knew what it looked like but he didn't want to think about it.

It looked they were preparing for battle. But it was a group of girls, teenagers, why would they even consider that? He was losing it. And he was missing Alex which was more then likely just his body responding to the chance to get more sex.

The next time he did see Alex he looked so rung out, as if he hadn't slept for those days that he had been gone. John didn't even bother to ask him in, he just held the door open for him to enter and Alex came right in heading right for the kitchen and the smell of coffee.

John followed him, watched him as he poured a cup of coffee and poured more sugar then coffee into the cup. He watched him as he sat down at the table, sitting down across from him, then watched him as he drank the cup of overly sweet coffee waiting for something to give.

“Alex?” He asked as Alex finished his coffee and went to get more. He couldn't stand the quiet in the room. He had to fill it with something. John never liked it when people were too quiet. Even more when they looked as rung out as the other man did. It meant something was going on and John wasn't going to like it.

He looked up at John, looked right at him, right past him towards the window, it looked like he wanted to say something but it tasted too foul to even allow it past his lips. John waited until Alex's face turned back towards him. He waited until Alex's good eye meet his own. “What happened?”

“We lost some people.. Things went down and some of us didn't come back up.” Alex looked at him again and John knew he wasn't seeing him he was seeing the people he lost.


“It doesn't matter any more, just you should get out of here for a few days. Just get up and go for a while. It's not safe around here.” Alex put his cup on the table and looked at John in such a way it gave him chills.

“Did you get into something you can't handle Alex? I might be able to help you, just tell me whats going on.” John knew his voice sounded cold but he couldn't help it. John didn't like the way this was sounding. “Is it drugs or something?”

“Drugs? No, damn it, no not drugs, not gangs on drugs, just you don't want to be here.” The almost panic in the other man's voice shock John to the core and he found himself standing and walking over to him.

“Tell me, maybe I can help?” He asked touching the other man's arm, watching him, he hated seeing anyone like this. Maybe this was something he shouldn't be getting into but he was in it already. John was a risk taker he always had been. It's what got him where he was today.

“No, no, I just came here to tell you to be safe and go to the town for the night.” Alex signed and pushed away from him coffee mug forgotten on the counter. “This is really fucked up for a one night stand.”

Part: 11

Vampires were real. Real. Not Wraith. But blood sucking, turning into ash when you stake them, real fucking vampires. John's heart pounded in his chest. His brain hurt. Because this was a fucking horror movie, not real life. Yeah, John should be able to take it considering what he used to do for a living but fuck.

How could he go his whole life with out seeing this? With out finding out before he was fucking 40 that vampires are fucking real. He swore to himself, as even for him this was going to far and taking too many risks.

He should of listened to Alex, but he had been so fucking pissed that Alex blew him off (and not the fun way) that he decided, pointedly decided that he was going to stay home and watch a movie. Have dinner and stick around the house. Part of him wanted to figure out what had the other man so shaken.

Well, fuck, he found out.

John was never so happy for all that training with Ronon and Teyla then he had been when he faced his first vampire. The sight of the ugly bastards was enough to make his blood run cold. He was very sure that the SGC some how met a new force and really fucking screwed up by letting them land on earth. Because really the SGC was always running into some kind of new thing to fight. Almost more times then it was running into friendlies.

The first cry or scream had startled John. It sounded so animal like that John didn't even bother to get up. Until he other cries and the tell tell sound of what only could be battle. He found himself out side and fending for his life as he watched the teen aged girls fight for theirs. He saw Alex fighting along side of them. He could tell unlike the girls Alex seemed more human.. more like himself.

When Alex saw him he tossed him some kind of wooden stake and yelled “Put it in their hearts!” The part of John that had always been able to take orders clicked on because this surly was a life or death He just let his desire to stay a live take over and falling back on old training.

It wasn't a fair fighting John found himself being flung around more then once and more then once being saved by one of the girls. He himself had saved a few of the others himself. Not that he was keeping score, because that would be wrong. Perhaps it was a sight blow to his manhood that a 17 year old girl handled herself a lot easier then he was.

Then he was in fact an old man or he felt like one now. The battle was over and he had lived some how. It was always a great feeling when you can walk off a battle field instead of having to be carried off. Some people weren't as lucky, there were hurt people all around him. John tired to help the best he could until it was decided that they had no other choice but to take people to the hospital.

That was hours ago and John was stuck with Spike sitting in his old truck wondering when he would get a chance to talk to someone and ask what the hell had happened. It hit him so damn hard. Vampires were real. Horrifying and Real. How many other things were real? Was there zombies? Were-wolves? Mummies? King Kong?

John felt so fucking tired, ringed out and boneless from the fighting. He had taken a hard beaten. He was very sure there wasn't an inch on him that wasn't covered with purple marks. He was very sure the ring finger on his right hand might be a little broken.

And it felt fucking wonderful.
Part: 12

Xander sat with Buffy as they watch Dawn get fixed up by a doctor, Buffy was tense, she still hadn't come down from the fighting yet. She more then likely wouldn't for the next couple of hours until she knew everyone that was hurt was getting care and those that weren't were safe. It was the way she was, the way she always was.

It was odd not having Willow there to sit beside them, she was still off in England, which more then likely was a damn good thing. “She's going to hate that Dawn got hurt.” Xander said. Because he knew that he and the slayer were thinking it. “And she's scary Buff.”

“We'll let Dawn tell her. She wont be scary to her, hopefully.” Dawn wasn't worse off for wear, no just needed a few stitches but Willow was always super over protective of her lovers. Xander still couldn't believe that Dawnie and Willow some how ended up together and fuck, kinky with it. He wasn't sure how much Buffy knew. There was just some things that neither wanted to talk about.

Dawn's and Willow's sex life was one of them. It was like talking about Giles' sex life. Which has been on the No talking subject list for years now. Buffy's eyes were on him instead of Dawn now, looking at him with that slayer know how.

“So, his name is John?” Her knew that tone. She was moving along right to his sex life. “Some of the girls say that you've been drooling.” The smile on her face wasn't fooling Xander he knew she was still tense.

“Yeah, he's hot.” Xander didn't really want to talk about it. He liked having John to himself. The few hours that they had at least. “He lives next door, he's good with Spike.” he watched Buffy make a face at the name. Spike had been a gift from her and Dawnie before they knew the vampire!Spike was still alive. So the name was suppose to be a reminder of a fallen friend. Spike (the vampire not the dog, but Xander was sure the dog was in on it too) still hadn't let Buffy live down naming a dog after him.

“So you gonna explain things to him and see if he wants to stick around? Or should I have Will send us something to help him forget?” Xander's eyes jerked towards Buffy as she asked that. Could Willow take someone's memory? Fuck, more then likely. He didn't like that idea. He hated that idea.

“I'll talk to him.”
Part: 13

There was no talking, there was tongue on tongue . Bodies rubbing on each other, hands reaching up to pull into hair. Moans and groans, biting and sucking. There was used of voices, words, but John was sure this wasn't what Alex meant by he needed to talk to him. He didn't mean that he wanted John to take him roughly on the kitchen table. To be using olive oil to slip inside of him because neither wanted to run off to to the bed room to get the lube, let alone make it to the John's unmade bed.

The table rocked back and froth the power thrusts pushed John deep inside Alex. It was hurried and a good way to break the tension that they were both carrying from the fight. It did help neither of them wanted to face what was a head of them just yet.


Part 14

Two years later.

“No fucking away space vamps?” The blonde man, which John had learned the dog had been named after was snickering his away through his third beer. He had been wanting to meet this man after all the stories that everyone told him about. It wasn't every day you got to talk to a vampire that wasn't out to eat you. Well, he wouldn't put it past Spike (the dog or the vampire).

Alex beside him was reading up on the latest demon that they were helping their girls to track down. “No stranger then earth vampires.” John said, “Or some of the stuff I've seen here on earth.”

The smirk on Spike's face made him do a double take, because he was sure he saw a doggy vision on the dog's face when he had brought a dead rat into the house last week. He was really starting to see how the dog got his name.

Even if it was still a really lame name to give a dog.