The airport was too crowed. People were everywhere, in lines, talking, crying, hugging, and it just didn’t seem to end. I sighed, staring down at the phone in my hands, finger poised over the call button. The need to call Eren was overwhelming, to reassure, to just hear his voice and know that somehow he would forgive me and accept me back with open arms and bright eyes filled with warmth.
When the call for my flight came, it took a lot to move from my spot and board into the first class cabin, eyes sweeping over the area to make sure it was as clean as it usually was. I knew I still had time to call him, to apologize over and over and never make the mistake again, but Eren accepting the apology was something I couldn’t anticipate that he would do. If only time could be rewound, I laughed bitterly. It was my own mistake and I would have to live with the consequences, no matter how bad they were.
“Fuck you Levi,” I whispered bitterly to myself, fingers curling into my palm, nails digging in. It was the expression on Eren’s face that wouldn’t leave my memory, the look that someone had just killed a dog in front of him and then proceeded to rub it in his face. Or that someone he had trusted wholeheartedly had taken a knife and stabbed it into his back. Wincing, I slammed the side of my head against the window. That’s exactly what I had done.
“Sir, are you alright?” The flight attendant was a petite blonde with loving brown eyes and she stared at me like she was really worried. I waved her off just saying that I was tired, which I didn’t necessarily lie about, I hadn’t slept since the day before yesterday - the day Eren said that he needed time to think.
My thinking was interrupted by the captain’s voice, saying the same thing they did on every flight I had ever been on. Immediately I tuned the voice out and when the waitress came back around I asked if I could have a whiskey. It wasn’t a long wait and when it was in front of me I took a long sip, enjoying the burn as it went down. Business trips were one of the things I detested about the line of work I was in, it was time away from the one person that I had ever really cared about and at this moment, time that I really couldn’t afford. “Fuck you too Erwin.”
I knew, knew that this couldn’t be blamed on anyone else but me, even if Erwin played a major part in my distress.
As I finished off the last bit of the whiskey, my eyes felt heavy and I slipped into a fitful sleep, full of darkness and wallowing. Maybe by the time I woke up I would have enough confidence to call Eren and beg for forgiveness.
But when I woke up barely an hour later, a blanket thrown over my shoulders and the sun still rising in the sky, I knew I wouldn’t be able to call him until I figured out my inner turmoil. It had all begun when Erwin called asking if I would join him for a few drinks. The look on Eren’s face had been one of distrust, he never had liked the older man, my ex-boyfriend.
“Levi, I really…” his sentence led off, eyes trailing. “I know you’ve known him for years, but this just seems too…” he led off again. I reached forward, fingers wrapping around his chin so he would look me in the eye.
“If you don’t want me to go, I won’t go.” Eren swallowed, his teal eyes never leaving mine, and I knew he was searching for something. Officially, we had only been together for a few months, but he was an unmovable force in my life, it was like he had always been there. He ran his fingers over the back of my neck, curling them into strands of hair, leaning his forehead against my own.
He let out a breath of air, “no, no I trust you.” I really wish he hadn’t.
When my eyes fell upon Erwin, I wished I hadn’t shown up. There was a twisting feeling in my stomach almost like I was going to be sick, but when he noticed me and a smile graced his face, there was no running away for me.
“I’m surprised you even agreed!” Erwin was still the same, I duly noted, even after not seeing him for a year. His eyes were still the same stunning blue, hair just as blonde, and he would forever stand over me. I grunted in response. He grinned, taking a sip of his drink. Conversation came easy to him, as it always had; he wanted to know about me, mostly about my relationship with Eren.
I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, but by the time I realized I’d had a drink too many, he was already leading me out of the bar and into a taxi. It was a fault of mine, knowing that I couldn’t handle too much liquor but agreeing to come out with him anyways. One way or another I had managed to called Eren, bumbling and stumbling over my words. His voice was worried.
“Levi, where are you? I’ll come get you right now.” I laughed lightly, my thoughts not coherent.
“I’m in a taxi,” I glanced at Erwin, “right?” I watched as the man pulled the phone from my grasp, listening to whatever Eren was saying over the line.
“Well you don’t have to worry, I’ll keep an eye on him tonight.” Eren yelled then, something unintelligible, before Erwin ended the call, his hand resting on my thigh, but I couldn’t take notice of it. I knew I should have been worried, but I wasn’t and the next thing I could remember was laying in Erwin’s bed, his hands caressing every inch of my body as I leaned into the touch.
When I woke up the next morning and realized where I was, I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up the contents of my stomach. I heaved until there was nothing left. Standing up on shaky legs, I went back into the bedroom only to see that Erwin was no where to be found. Only then did I let out the scream I had been holding back.
By the time I made it back home, I was met with a suitcase situated next to the front door and Eren seated at the kitchen table, looking like he hadn’t slept, though his eyes held a look I had never seen before.
“Look Levi, I can take a stab at what happened last night and I realize that I don’t know everything, but,” he glanced up, his expression sad, “please let me be alone for a little while.” There was a tightening in my chest. I walked towards him, reaching out a hand, watching as he pushed away from the table to stand up, avoiding the touch. “Please.”
I stared out at the rising sun, watching the clouds pass by. I had stayed with Hanji for the remainder of the day, until my flight that morning. She had been a great friend as always, even if she was a little too eccentric and had opened her arms to me, letting me cry everything out - it had been a long time since I cried. When I finished telling her everything that had transpired the night before she suggested I call Erwin and talk to him, to get the whole story, but I told her I would do it later because everything was still so fresh.
As always, she laid her head on my shoulder, eyes staring into mine, whispering, ‘oh, Levi,’ with a drawn out tone.
It wasn’t until I landed in France, went to the meeting, and ended up in my hotel room for the night that I decided to call him, the unpent anger rising through my voice.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” I hissed. “Eren hasn’t talked to me since what happened the night before.”
“Levi, what are you talking about?” Erwin’s voice was truly surprised. “I brought you to my house that night because you couldn’t even remember your own address.”
“Then what about what happened in your bed?”
“My bed?” He let out something close to a cackle, as I silently steamed, thinking of ways that I could kill him. “You really don’t remember,” he murmured more to himself. “Levi, I brought you home, you got a little horney like you always do when you drink and started to rub all over yourself. I slept on the couch.” There was a pregnant paused in the conversation as I rolled the information around in my head, trying to remember the night but nothing was coming to mind.
I hung up with Erwin, gripping the phone in my hand to a crunching point, feeling something almost like relief in my chest.
But there was no changing the fact that I was still thoroughly pissed off at myself for the things I had done that night, and at Erwin for being the bastard that he was and not taking me home when he was on the phone with Eren. I tried to call Eren several times, but there was no answer. I left him voicemails and texts telling him to call me, but knowing Eren he was focusing on the fact that he thought I cheated on him with my ex.
Leaning back against the seat that was situated next to the desk where my computer laying, I knew there was no reason to stress myself like this, no matter how much I worried what Eren was doing because until I was back home or he decided to call me back, there was nothing I could do.
It was the last night I was going to be in France and I would finally be able to go back home. It’d been the longest four days of my life, even though the sights had been wonderful to see again after not being in my motherland for years, and I might have purchased a few things for Eren, I was ready for home.
I booted up Skype, watching as the list of names popped up and I bit into my bottom lip when I noticed Eren’s, who hadn’t been online since I left. Swallowing, I clicked the call button and patiently waited. When the screen loaded, I stared at the image of Eren, even though he was brooding, eyes not meeting my own, he was still beautiful. “I’ve missed you.” He glanced up, a tiny smile gracing his face. “About the other night-”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” It was grumbled response.
“Nothing happened.” His head shot up, eyes wide and disbelieving. Before he could retort with some response that would probably very Eren-like I spoke up, “I talked to Erwin-” I steeled him with a look when he opened his mouth. “Yes, he should have brought me home and I’m sorry that that night got so out of hand, but nothing happened. Apparently, I got horney and he slept on the couch.” There were flashes of emotion across his face before he leaned forward on his hand, eyes staring into my own.
“You’re never going out with Erwin alone again.” His words were firm, sending a shiver down my spine, and suddenly I craved for his touch against my skin.
“I missed you too.” Eren smiled his full toothed smile, eyes lighting up. “How has France been?” I hummed, leaning back.
“It’s treated me well, if that’s what you mean. And I’m bringing home gifts for you.” I could see his excitement through his eyes. “What have you done since I’ve been away?” He shrugged lightly, dragging his lower lip between his teeth, my eyes watching the movement with full attentiveness.
“Went to visit Mikasa and mom and had Armin visit for a few hours. Worked. The same old things, though the house is a little messier.” I chuckled. We idly chatted back and forth for a long while, talking about anything that was on our minds. I could admit I loved the way Eren’s eyes lit up when he talked about something he loved, or the way his fingers wove through the air as he talked, even the sound of his voice.
“Eren.” He paused mid-sentence. “I should go.” He instantly started to pout, eyebrows puckering. “I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. We’ll talk more then.”
“Okay,” he grumbled. Oh, the things this boy did to me.
“Goodnight.” He made a similar reply, cutting the call.
My fingers wouldn’t stop tapping on the armrest of the taxi I was currently situated in, too hyped up to finally see Eren after five and a half days. I couldn’t stand having to drive this way - there were too many variables for germs - but in my rush, I had forgotten to call Hanji, who in turn had my car parked in her driveway because she had been the one to drive me to the airport.
Staring out the window, I watched buildings pass by as the foliage started, encasing either side of the road. The green in the morning light reminded me of Eren’s eyes, partially green with a bit of the blue sky intermixed.
When we met, it had been nothing short of disastrous, filled with wet drinks, muddled apologies, and a temper that was just barely held in check. Eren was a twenty-one year old college student, just finishing a degree in business, not because he wanted to, but because he didn’t know what else to do. And I had been carrying drinks for Erwin and I, on my way to the office, not before I could stop by and say hello to the boyfriend who worked at the building across from mine. I hadn’t thought anything of the meeting, besides wanted to kill the boy, and we didn’t see each other for another month.
We somehow met again in a coffee shop and when Eren met my stare, he had stopped with eyes wide. He bought me a coffee with the excuse that he still wanted to apologize and asked if I had time to sit for a moment.
“So,” he stated uneasily, “I never did catch your name?” His fingers were wrapped around the cup holding his coffee, tan skin turning a little white as his grip tightened. I could never state why I had decided to sit down in the first place.
“Levi.” He looked up excitedly, as if he hadn’t expected me to reply at all.
“I’m Eren. Eren Jaeger.” He paused, staring down. “I’m still really sorry,” he mumbled. I cocked an eyebrow, leaning forward heavily on my hand.
“Kid, are you still thinking about that? It was a month ago, layoff it.” When he looked up again, it was like something had been taken off his shoulders, and he smiled brightly at me. It was then I think, I finally noticed his eyes and fell in love with them. Somehow, he kept me there for over an hour, chatting about his life, though mostly his friends and some about school. I’d only been drawn away because Erwin had called me, wondering why I wasn’t home yet. Eren stole my phone, right before I left, to add his phone number with the added, ‘in case you want to have coffee again.’
It was only a few days later before I caved.
“We’re here, sir.” The cabbie, a man barely in his twenties, met my eyes in the mirror. After paying, I stepped away and stared up the steps of the house, windows reflecting in the sunlight. It was only a moment, then the front door was thrown open and Eren had his arms wrapped around me, his face curving down into my shoulder. I allowed a gentle smile to grace my face.
“I’m so sorry, Levi, I should have never kicked you out like that, it’s your house for pete’s sake.” He laughed shakily, leaning back to stare at my face.
“If I hadn’t wanted to leave, I would have kicked you out.” He laughed again, laying a smoothing had against my cheek.
“It’s nice to-” Wrapping my hand at the base of his neck, I pulled him down, sealing our lips together. He let out a light moan, hands winding at my sides, pulling our bodies closer. “I missed you so much.” The words were spoken against my lips, between breaths and the pulling of mouths. With our foreheads pressed together, I could admit the same. Eren’s fingers intertwined with my own as he reached down to grab the suitcase I had dropped, the smile never leaving his face.
It felt nice to be home again. “I expected things to be messier,” I spoke, surveying the house as we walked to the bedroom, but also catching a whiff of something else that made me pause and pull Eren back with me. “What have you done with my boyfriend?” Eren let go of our hold, running his fingers across my cheek and down to the base of my neck, “I wanted to do something nice for you. The lasagna is almost done.” I glanced off, feeling a slight heat pool in my face. Scoffing, I pulled away from the hold and went into the bedroom at the end of the hallway.
It wasn’t until we were finished with a mid morning lunch that I finally took a look at the boy - man if I wanted to be honest - in front of me. He still looked like the same Eren, with his eyes, smile, tan skin, and that slight blush that crept across his cheeks when he knew I was looking at him, but there was a minute difference. Standing up, I made my way over to Eren, swaying my hips just a little more than usual, but I loved the way he stared. I settled myself on his lap, arms placed across his shoulders, feeling his hands creep up my sides, fingers digging in. His eyes were blown wide, but there was that same look he’d had days ago when we talked over Skype, the look of someone who wanted to lay claim to something that was his. A fine shiver went through my body.
“What are you waiting for?” The dishes could wait. But I needed this like a druggie needed a fix. “Ravage me.” Like being set loose, he clawed at my back, connecting our lips together, instantly opening my mouth for his pleasure. He explored every crevice and I allowed him to. It didn’t happen very often, but when Eren wanted to take control there was no stopping him, but neither did I want to. Twisting my fingers into his hair, I tugged, loving the growl that came from the base of his throat that made my toes curl.
He stood up suddenly and I could hear the yelp I let out as I clawed my hands into his shoulders. “Fuck Eren.” He snickered, lips pressed against my throat, teasing and nipping, while his fingers dug into my thighs. I groaned, feeling my slight erection pressing against his stomach, the friction causing it to grow harder as he walked. When he dropped me on the bed, hovering over me, I just smiled, wetting my lips, watching as his eyes followed every movement. Eren’s eyes were full blown with lust, just a peek of green from the edges and he seemed to be waiting for permission, holding himself back from what he wanted to do. “Give it to me.”
In a quick movement, he pulled off my shirt, grunting, “hands up.” Moving lazily, I crossed my wrists overtop my head. There was no need to tie my hands because I was too obedient for my own good. Scraping his nails down my chest, I hissed, arching into the touch. He moved quickly, shuffling my body into the center of the bed, letting my fingers wrap around the headboard so I would have something to hold me down from floating. The tightening in my pants had come close to unbearable, but I wouldn’t move until I was told.
He ghosted over the fabric, watching my expression as I let out a slight whine, his mouth widening into a smirk. “Need some help?”
“God, yes.” Shifting, he leaned down to lip at my throat, following the ridges down across collar bones to my chest, rolling his hips while doing so. The cry I made was something between a moan and a yell, as I pushed myself up to meet the oncoming friction. I was in sensory overload by the time he took a nipple into his mouth, making me arch into the touch, gasps and pants escaping my lips. He licked the sensitive skin, looking up to meet my eyes.
“You’re mine.” It’d been months since he’d done this, and I knew my first orgasm of the night wasn’t far off, especially with the way his hips kept pushing into mine. Not replying to him, he lowered himself between my bent legs, hands trailing up and down my thighs as he eyed the bulge in front of him.
“Please,” I gasped, breaking my own rule, instantly regretting it when I was met with a hard look from Eren. He tsked me but continued with with removing my clothes, letting me breath a sigh of relief when my erection was finally in the air. I watched him as he slid a single finger against the curve of my cock, grinning in a way that made my heart race just a little bit faster, but also made me wonder what he was thinking.
Meeting my gaze, he leaned forward to kiss a trail up my stomach, completely ignoring the hardness of my groin that was brushing against him. “I want to try something,” he whispered almost shyly, tongueing the hollow of my ear, before he slid off the bed. A black ribbon was produced from somewhere in one of his drawers and I could almost hear what he was thinking as he went between my legs. My eyes were glaring daggers, but he seemed too giddy with himself to even notice as he tied the fabric around my weeping cock, keeping the head clear. “I still have to punish you, you know,” he said as an afterthought, looking over his handiwork.
This was new. Eren, though as rough as he was, had never gone this far before and I wondered if he had been thinking about this since I talked to him yesterday. But I couldn’t and wouldn’t deny that this was turning me on like crazy.
Slowly, as if this were a strip tease, he pulled his shirt off, eyeing me the entire time, fingers delving into the top of his pants. “How badly do you want it, Rivaille?” I whined, clenching my hands around the metal of the headboard, hating how his lips formed the letters of my name.
“Hurry the fuck up.” He smiled at the words, taking the lube that he had placed beside him - when the hell had he grabbed that? - and poured a generous amount on the head of my member. I shivered and gasped from the cold, but couldn’t ignore the tightening of my stomach muscles. Positioning himself underneath my legs so they rested on his hips, his finger teased my entrance before he pushed it into me, grunting. I bit down harshly on my lips, holding back any words that wanted to spew without my consent because I wanted him to move quicker, to take me and ravish every inch of me.
“Hah, you’re so beautiful.” He pushed in a second finger, scissoring and curving the digits, trying to find the prostate, adding a third into the mix. I bucked down, relishing in the feeling.
“Ahh, mnn… God!” There was the feeling I enjoyed oh so much, besides being inside Eren.
“I didn’t think I was God,” he chuckled and I could have swung at him for his stupidity, but he was motioning his fingers back and forth and I couldn’t hold on to a single plausible thought. My nails were digging into the palms of my hands, and holy fuck did I need to come, it was almost starting to physically hurt. Shifting my hips up, his fingers slipped out and he stared at me with the most knowing smirk I had ever seen grace his face. “There something you need?”
“Please,” I never begged and this was the second time tonight, what had he done to me? “Eren… ahh, I need-” I gasped, feeling fingers gently touch the thing that needed immediate attention. He hummed, fingers moving lazily back and forth from the shaft to the head, pulling the foreskin, leaving me a moaning mess of breath that couldn’t fill my lungs quickly enough.
“It does look a little angry, doesn’t it?” I swallowed a whine when he stood up, pulling off the rest of his clothes, leaving his manhood to stand tall, curving against his stomach. “You can come after I enter you.” Definitely loving this new side to Eren. He took his time slicking himself up, moaning lightly and watching my reactions as he pleased himself. I jolted when he grabbed me again, positioning himself at my entrance, rubbing at the tightened muscle. When he started to press in, I threw my head back, eyes closed with my mouth gaped, no noise coming out. I almost didn’t realize he had untied the ribbon until I was shuddering with release, the hot fluid shooting so high it touched my chin and cheek. Fuck. Eren stared down at me, swiping a finger through the semen on my chest and taking it into his mouth, smiling, as I panted. “My turn.”
“Eren, wait!” I still hadn’t gathered my breath and what I had gathered was gone the moment he started to move, thrusting without abandon, his fingers digging into my hips.. I loved this, I truly did, but I wasn’t sure how much more I stimulation I could handle. I stared up at Eren as his face contorted into something of concentration, his movements slowing down, until he was leisurely moving in and out. There was a growl in the base of my throat, but he ignored the sound, instead shifting my body up just a little bit to send a blissfully brilliant white light across my vision. “Sh-shit.”
He repeatedly abused the same spot, moving in the same rhythm and I could do nothing but take whatever he gave to me, seeing as he held my hips captive, my feet barely brushing the comforter. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” The words were just a whisper against my ears and I groaned lightly in response - if it could be considered a response. Eren leaned down next to my ear, tickling my hair. “Next time I think we should use ropes.” The mental image was more appealing and pleasing than I thought it would be; to have Eren bending me to his will, doing whatever he found most pleasurable - I breathed in deeply, becoming more aroused, which I didn’t know was possible. “Fuck, Levi.” My back arched as he started to move again, his quick pace keeping me from thinking, only feeling.
“P-please, ahh, touch me - ngh, Eren.” Those were fowl words spilling from my mouth, words that weren’t filtered and just went through my lips without permission. But when he touched me, it couldn’t have mattered less what I had said, all I could feel was deep heat spreading through my limbs and sweat beading down my forehead.
Eren came first in a pant of mumblings, my name thrown into every other word as he rode out the wave to his orgasm. I followed almost instantly, arms finally feeling the strain of holding my body, and I heard myself yell - or maybe it was a scream. Eren held himself up, much to my surprise, with a smile that would make the gods jealous and eyes that were almost too bright. He slowly pulled out of me, and it was then I realized that in the mists of such a tension filled round of sex, he had never put on a condom.
“You fucker,” I whispered hoarsely. The feeling of semen spilling out of me had me grimacing, glare fixed on Eren, who wore a puppy look - big eyes and pouting lip. “Do you know how long it’s going to take for me to feel clean again?” Pressing his nose to my throat, he kissed the skin.
“I’ll help you.” I could almost see the plan coming together in my thoughts.
“Fine. But I’m fucking you first.” He swung around so quick I thought he was going to knock into my nose.
“What?” His voice was high pitched. Raising an eyebrow, I put my arms around his shoulders to pull him onto my chest, grimacing again at the cold wetness settled between us.
“That was just round one. I’m thinking at least two more are needed.” He sighed, as if resigned to his fate.
“Alright, but can we do it once in the shower?” I chuckled, staring into his eyes, rubbing fingers through strands of hair.
“You read my mind.”