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Exhausted

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Scott can't remember ever being this tired. Or exhausted. That's the correct word. His brain feels foggy and slow and every single bone in his body is screaming "don't move" at him. He wants a shower so badly, but not because he's dirty; he just needs the comfort of the hot water, the nice scents. And then the comfort of his boyfriends, snuggled against both his sides. He needs love.

Opening the door of their flat makes him sigh in relief. It's crazy how comforting their omnipresent smell is to him, even if they're not in his arms yet. He quickly turns his phone off and steps into the kitchen, where Mason is cooking and Mark is sitting on a chair chatting to him. As soon as Mason sees Scott, he seems to know that something is wrong. Of course he does, it's a natural talent which makes him the good Sir for them that he is.

"Oh Scotty, are you okay? What's wrong? Do you need cuddles?" He asks, and since there is no way for him to stop stirring in the pot - he would ruin the sauce - Mark takes over for him and pulls Scott into a tight hug.

One of the best things for Scott about being in a polyamorous relationship is that he literally receives the double amount of love. His heart has been always too big for the monogamous world he's living in, with rigid expectations of how to differentiate between friends and lovers , how romantic love and platonic love should be... He has always had too much love to love just one person. Although this is his first polyamorous relationship and he has never betrayed his previous partners, it feels right for the first time.

He is allowed to have two wonderful partners, to love and cherish them. He is allowed to love other people from the bottom of his heart in a platonic way, like he has always done with Mitch, and he knows if he comes to love another person in a romantic way - or if he is physical attracted to another person - they will find a way to accommodate it. Their relationship is about trust, not about limits.

But the disadvantage to having a heart as big as Scott's is that he needs a lot of love too. Although there is almost no way to measure these things, sometimes he feels like he will never get enough love. He needs a lot of cuddles, kisses, attention and reassurance, and he always feels like he's overburdening his partner. But now, with two of them, it works. It really works. When Mason has no hands free to cuddle him immediately, there is Mark and vice versa. It's perfect for him.

Scott relaxes inside Mark's arms and feels like he exhales for the first time in hours. He closes his eyes and becomes soft and pliant in Mark's arms. He hasn't said one word since he entered the room, but he knows that he doesn't have to. His boyfriends will take care of him no matter what.

"Alright, babes, what about taking a shower together? I need half an hour until I'm done with cooking and then we can cuddle on the couch with a movie?" Mason offers and Scott nods, still being held in Mark's arms.

"Let's take a shower, princess, I'll take care of you..." Mark suggests and tries to free himself from Scott's tight grip, chuckling when he doesn't succeed first. But after a few moments, Scott nods again and lets up his hold on Mark, grasping for his hand instead.

"Don't forget your rules, sweethearts," Mason smiles when they leave the kitchen to make their way into the bathroom. And honestly, forgetting the rules - which basically means "don't do anything more than kissing" - is the last thing on Scott's mind at the moment.

He'd never have thought that he could be too exhausted to even think of sex.

***

After dinner, Mark cleans up the kitchen while Scott and Mason take a seat on their big couch. Scott immediately snuggles into Mason's side and closes his eyes. He doesn't want to sleep, he just want to relax and not worry about anything. He can deal with problems again tomorrow, but not tonight. Tonight he wants to feel safe.

"What happened today, princess?" Mason asks eventually and pulls Scott a little bit closer, allowing him to hide his face in Mason's neck.

"Just.. Just had a really really bad day," Scott whispers. "Rehearsals didn't go as well as they should, I wasn't happy with my voice today, and on top of that Mitch received so many hateful comments about his appearance and his relationship last night... He was devastated. And you know how much it destroys me to see Mitch upset..." Scott's voice fades out and he struggles to hold his tears back.

"So you're upset because some rude fans are hurting Mitch?" Mason asks and caresses Scott's back with comforting strokes.

Scott nods. "Sometimes I don't know why we are doing this. The whole year, again and again. Putting so much effort into everything to earn hate. Why don't we have normal jobs?" he asks, wincing at the desperation in his own voice.

"Because you are a musician and you always will be. You love being on stage and you know the effort is worth it. And don't forget the majority of nice, supporting fans. Don't be upset due to a few assholes. The fans love you and you love them," Mason reminds him and kisses his forehead softly.

"You're right. But I'm so exhausted now, not tired, just exhausted..." Scott whines, but he sounds a little better than before.

"Don't worry, Mark and I will take care of you. I promise. We'll make you feel good," Mason promises and pulls Scott into a soft, gentle kiss.

Mark steps into the room during the end of the exchange. He immediately feels pity for Scott, whose job is definitely not "9 to 5", with problems he brings home with him. And of course, Mark would do anything to cheer his baby up, he wants nothing more than to help Mason make Scott feel good.

He stops in front of them and goes down on his knees, only glancing briefly at their kiss. He's not here to enjoy the beautiful sight, he's here to spoil Scott, to make him feel cherished and loved. He's here to serve, and every nerve in his body is tingling at the thought of being useful for their princess.

Mark pulls Scott's sweat pants down just enough to expose his cock. Easy, since he knows that Scott didn't pull on boxers after their shower. He bows down to place a little kiss on the tip and sucks the soft dick into his mouth. Damn, he loves sucking dick, especially when they are soft and small, he loves the feeling when they are growing and hardening inside his mouth. But the best feeling is when he takes a soft dick inside his mouth and makes it hard just with his tongue - without bobbing his head - until it grows big enough to reach the back of his throat and choke him.

Scott twitches a little at the feeling of Mark's mouth on his dick. That wasn't what he has planned for tonight. It's not really what he wants tonight, but perhaps he can accept it.

He should be thankful for his boyfriend, right? Mark has cared for him so well, has showered him and caressed him so much, Scott should probably show his gratitude with a nice fuck - or something similar. His boyfriends deserve it, even if he isn't really on board.

Although their relationship is somehow committed and domestic now, it's still new and he's not really sure what they are expecting from him. It's the first relationship where he's submitting to someone and he's still figuring out what submission means to him, what he's willing to give, what he wants to give but needs a little help with and what he cannot give yet.

Even if they don't have a 24/7 power exchange, their dynamics aren't limited to the bedroom, so Scott guesses a good sub probably has to want sex now, a good sub has to want to please them. And damn, he wants to be a good sub, he wants to be the best for them.

He doesn't notice how toxic his thoughts are. Of course, if he was to hear Mitch or someone else saying something like that, he would insist that's not how healthy relationships work, but in this moment he is way too focused on being good, on being enough. Enough for them.

Mason feels Scott stiffen against his lips and pulls his head back slowly. He looks into Scott's face and can literally feel the discomfort he's radiating. He touches Mark's chin very softly and caresses his cheek. "Stop, honey. He doesn't like it," Mason says gently and pulls Mark away from Scott's dick.

"Wait, wait, it's okay, I'll be a good boy," Scott murmurs and tries to kiss Mason again.

"Don't, baby," Mason answers and pulls him tight against his chest again while Mark covers his dick with the pants again and sits down on his heels, looking at them with uncertainty.

"Don't ever agree to something you don't want to do, promise me, princess..." Mason kisses his head again and again and somehow sounds really really sad. That's the moment Scott starts to cry.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I'm so sorry, I want to be enough, I know I'm not a good sub, I know I can never be enough for you, I tried... You are so good to me and I can't give you what you want... I apologize, Sir," he sobs and tries to wiggle himself out of Mason's grip. All the thoughts he has had the whole day - not being good enough for the fans who expect more and more - are overwhelming him. He will never be enough, his appearance and his behavior will never be enough, not for his fans, not for his boys...

Mason holds him tight and doesn't allow him to move. "Stop, Scott," he repeats, his voice tensed with anger. Of course he's angry, Scott thinks, instead of asking for a punishment like a sub who's good enough would do, Scott is crying and making Sir's shirt wet.

"I'm so sorry," Scott repeats. He wishes Sir would finally stop comforting him, he's feeling even more worthless with the way his Sir is kissing his head and stroking his back. He doesn't feel like he deserves any comfort. He tries to swallow his sobs down, but fails.

"No... stop apologizing, Scott. Please, stop. I'm so sorry, don't think about yourself that way." Mason's voice breaks and he breathes shakily. "You are always enough, princess. Even on your worst days you're perfect. Don't you dare to think of you like that, we love you so much, we love every little piece of you. Right, Mark?" He sobs quietly and Mark lays his head on Scott knees.

"Right, we love you, Scotty. So much." He hopes that Mason can speak again soon, because he has no idea how to reassure his shaking and sobbing fellow sub. It breaks his heart to see him like that.

"You have to do nothing to be enough. You are enough. Always. Don't allow anyone to convince you otherwise. It isn't true. You are such a lovely, caring, loving boyfriend with the biggest heart I've ever known. And you are the most beautiful, perfect, adorable sub we can imagine. You. Are. Perfect. For. Us." Mason says slowly and makes sure Scott hears every single word.

"And please, don't ever think we want more than just loving you and being with you. That is enough." He holds Scott tight and lets him sob more into his shirt, while Mark caresses his leg.

"I'm sorry too... I'm sorry I didn't notice what you need and what you want, I should have asked first if it's okay," Mark apologizes but Scott shakes his head quickly.

"No, honey, not your fault. None... none of us is asking for an okay for a simple blow job, I should have stopped you", Scott manages to say and fondles Mark's hair with one hand. "And you know I usually love sex when I'm stressed... So... not your fault", he says quietly and snuggles himself closer to Mason. He can't stand the thought of hurting Mark, but he has to focus on his own worries.

"Are you sure, Sir?", he asks quietly, his heart already feeling lighter due to the reassurance. He's not sure if he can believe Sir or if Sir is only trying to comfort him, but even the latter would mean Scott means something to him. He lifts his head and searches for proof in Mason's eyes.

Mason is looking genuinely into Scott's face, his eyes a little puffy and his face almost as wet as Scott's. Scott needs a moment to understand that Sir is crying, Sir is crying because of him and he isn't ashamed of it.

"Fuck, princess, I love you so much, sometimes it feels like my heart will explode if I love you and honey even just a little bit more," he admits and smiles for a short second at Mark.

"So... you really think I'm enough for you? You deserve a better sub...," Scott tries again, but he's already much calmer.

"I can't deserve a better sub. Because I already have the two best subs in the world, " Mason promises and kisses Scott gently, trying to show all his love through this kiss.

After a short moment they stop kissing and smile simultaneously to Mark. "I love you at least as much as Mason does - but there is no way to double infinity", Mark smiles shyly and Scott can't help but pull Mark closer.

"Come on the couch, honey, please," Scott asks quietly and Mark rushes to obey, snuggles against his side so Scott is cuddled tight between his boyfriends.

"What about a film and ice cream later? After we cuddle a lot?", Mason suggests and kisses Scott's forehead again.

"Yes, may I choose the film? The Little Mermaid?", Scott asks and smiles, but Mason shakes his head.

"No Scotty, I know how much you love that film but not in this mood, okay?", Mason dismisses softly and fondles his hair.

"But... Why?" Scott asks and pouts.

"Because The Little Mermaid includes your biggest fear, princess, and the consequences of it. Do you think I haven't noticed? We can watch it when you are in a better mood, but not now, when you're angsty and unsure. Pick something which will make you feel happy and safe," Mason explains.

Scott's eyes are watering again and he pulls Mason into another kiss. No one has ever noticed that about him - his omnipresent fear of losing his voice and not be good enough for show business, because his voice it what's most recognizable about him - but Mason did.

"Thank you, Sir, for knowing me so well," Scott whispers and snuggles closer into Mason's side while Mark is looking for a film of which he's sure that Scott will like. And suddenly Scott feels more cherished, loved and safe than ever before.