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This Wasn't Really Necessary, Asshole

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“Such talent, turning these rivers as red as you have,” speaks the man in red ghosting behind the blue clothed boy’s back. He reaches out turning the boy’s head so they met eye to eye. “Why don’t you be so kind as to share it with me?” A smirk nearly split’s the man’s face in two.

The boy in blue never stood a chance.


Kayn had seen dozens of acolytes come through the Order’s halls. While most came and went they had all started within the Order, and remained there for the rest of their days. Watching their progression was interesting, in a sense, it left him feeling bored. How would he find a proper match when he oversaw all of the other’s work? Even if one were to become strong enough to face him, he’d have the advantage of knowing their skills beforehand ruining whatever point the fight had in the first place.

So it’s natural that he would be curious when a new face came in. Even better a known face, as much as any true assassin is known, and one he had encountered, but not fought, before. Kayn did not commonly step back into the streets of Noxus, not after everything they had done. Regardless there were times when it was necessary, and he had always kept a sharp eye out for more than just his targets.

He’d heard whispers of a man named Talon, a child of the streets turned warrior under Du Couteau. They feared him that much was obvious, although to be fair most unlucky Noxan’s feared everything around them considering how often it ended up killing them. In the end he’d made a note to keep an eye out the next time he came back to see if he could find anything about him that may seem more important. Who knows, maybe he’d grow strong enough that Kayn would seek him out one day.

He didn’t know if it was fate or fortune that brought the blue clothed man to the Order’s, to his, doorstep. He wasn’t going to spend much time debating that however. The man requested to speak with Zed. (And what a smart man, to request rather than order. Too many fools had been cut down simply for that arrogance.) Even as he had been escorted into the hall’s Kayn had gotten a few good looks in and made a few surprising notes.

Firstly, that his movement was much surer than any others’ would upon entering a place filled with assassins. This spoke of either arrogance or an assurance in his ability to escape, as even the thought of defeating every member in these hall’s was ridiculous.

Secondly, that for all his clothing should be considered eye catching given the designs and armour placed on and within he almost made it seem subtle. As if that is what he had always been wearing and that it was something to dismiss rather than note. Kayn was sure this was some kind of technique, and made a note to ask about it if he had the chance.

And thirdly? That this “Talon” man was less of a man and more of a boy. Early-mid twenties, much like himself.

The last statement was both the most interested and most subjective. After all, he’s basing he guess off of Talon’s stature mostly. It’s common however for those malnourished at a young age to stay short for the rest of their lives. Given his time in the Noxas underground? It truly wouldn’t be surprising.

He waits a good 3 hours before he slips into Zed’s quarters after the boy had walked out. He didn’t even have to say a word before Zed told him the boy had asked of any news of the eldest Nu Couleau’s whereabouts.

Stepping out with a shrug, he hears Zed call out to him about not doing anything he’d regret. Although at this point they both knew that was a lost cause. No man with caution grabs a demonic blade and carries it with him still.

It was nice to know he still cared.

Now to bother a strange blue boy.


“Care to tell me what sends a member of the Order to my doors? I’d thought our mutual stalemate would stop things like this from happening.,” the man in red calls out into the front landing of his home, “Unless this is not a message from the Order, but simply someone with a death wish?”

“Vladimir,” Kayn greets with a nod, dropping off the walls surrounding the aristocrats home. “I’m looking for a friend of mine. Some words suggest he has entered your care. I figured I’d ask you myself over sending some poor fool in for you to play with.”

Vladimir offers a melodramatic sigh, “I’d offer to spend some quality time with you if Rhaast didn’t object to my advances so much. Not that I mind, truly, three can really be a crowd when filled with the wrong types. With the right people, however…,” he trails off, leaving the statement to interpretation. “Ah, but you’ll have to give me more information than that. New people come and go from my home every day. Do you happen to have a name at least?”

It’s obvious merely by the smug look on his face that he already knows the answer. Still, Kayn is fine with playing his stupid games if it means he can leave with Talon without being dragged into the obscene man’s ‘games’. “Talon,” he tosses out like a challenge. “Brown hair, brown eyes. Around twenty years old?”

The vampire offers a small nod of the head. “Ah, I do have someone of that description. I’m afraid I never quite got his name, however. I caught him at the tail end of a fight, you see, and the poor boy practically passed out right when he saw me.” Another overdramatic sigh, “A pity, his work was quite… lovely.”

It takes more work than usual to keep impassive in the face of Vladimir’s antics (although that may have something to do with Talon’s involvement) but he does so regardless. “Would you mind taking me to him, then? I’d prefer to check his identity myself.”

Vladimir’s face doesn’t change, but he gets the feeling that he’s walking directly into a trap. Although what kind of trap is debatable.

“Very well,” he says with a flourish as he turns back to his home. “Welcome to my home, I promise you’ll enjoy your stay here.”

Kayn has fought years now to ignore Rhaast’s words of senseless bloodshed. For the first time since then, he finds himself agreeing. Cutting the smug bastard to pieces would certainly make this easier.

Regardless, he steps into the vampire’s home pushing back those impulses. For now.


“I’m not going to just go away if you ignore me,” Kayn sing-songs from top of the rock formation the boy has his back against.

“Then what do I have to do to make you leave me be?”

“You could start by giving me your name? Sounds simple enough, right?”


Goddess, could this guy lighten up a little? “And I’m Kayn. See? Now we’re getting somewhere.” Kayn knows he could probably sound a bit less like an asshole, but really why would he do that? “Care to tell me what you’re doing all the way out here?”


And now he lets out an over dramatic sigh, “Come on, Talon. I’ll even compromise with you. Answer my few questions and I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day. Sound good?”

“I never compromise.”

“Then I suppose you’ll simply have to deal with me spending the next several hours with you. Just sitting here, with you, conversing with the world around us. In fact, one of the acolytes came back singing this wonderful song and she was just kind enough to teach it to me and I’m sure you-”

“One compromise. Just. Don’t.”

Kayn can’t stop the smile that creeps onto his face, even if it has more teeth than one might think a smile should have. “Great! How about this? Five questions. You can even ask me five back. Fine with you?”

The small sigh that slips out Talon’s mouth was probably not meant to be heard, but Rhaast’s influence has increased more than just his strength. “Very well. Five only.”

“Alright then…” he trails off, seeing exactly how long he can drag this out without Talon snapping out at him. Normally this wouldn’t happen when facing an assassin, but given Kayn’s own talents and what he’s gathered of the boy’s circumstances he likely has very little patience. Now to see if that patience can be broken. “Hm… How about- No that’s silly. Maybe something like…,”

It’s instinct that grabs the blade headed for his throat. “Ouch. Going straight for the throat there?”

“If it would make you silent, fine by me. Four questions left.”

He snorts, that’s more like what he was looking for. “Fair enough. Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing so far from Noxas?”

“Looking for someone.”


“My previous leader.”

“And did you truly believe you’d find information about them here?”

“Better to be thorough.”

“Fine,” he says getting to his feet, “final question. How long are you thinking of staying?”

That seemed to draw him up short.

“Well, I hope you’ll stay long enough to ask me those questions, because I won’t be answering them now,” he huffs out a laugh. “Unless you’re interested enough to follow me for those answers.”

Talon doesn’t follow him, but that’s not a surprise. He’ll get him one day.


Kayn had only been in the vampire’s home once, and even then it was only for a moment. This longer visit did nothing to change that first impression. Still gaudy shades of red and overly eccentric artwork. It’s like a normal person’s nightmare, or Vladimir’s dream home. Same thing, really.

“Why don’t you spend a moment in the lounge and I’ll send the boy out,” Vladimir said with a wave towards severals chairs centered a low round table. There would be no way he’d ever take a seat on anything in the bastard’s home even if he wasn’t an assassin. The substances on those surfaces would be even more than he can handle.

He’s debating leaning back against one of the walls when Talon walks in. It’s obvious it’s him. Most people in disguises tend to get the little details wrong, and Kayn’s trained for years to pick of those signs in a moment. But knowing it’s truly him does nothing to affect his possible worries.

The way he moves is wrong. Both too relaxed and too stiff to fit his skill set. And his eyes:

It was like staring into a still lake. Deep but empty.

Of course that ass wouldn’t make this simple.

He walks up towards his friend, noting that Talon’s in a far too off state to try getting the drop on him. Although if he were to take a guess, that’s not the kind of drop Vladmir’s planning with this little game of his. He stops in front of him, arms crossed and looking down unimpressed. He’s going to make sure that no one gets any sort of sick satisfaction from this.

“Talon,” he offers with a nod.

“Shieda,” Talon replies softly, tilting his head to the side with a small smile.

Kayn growls internally. For that alone he should drive his blade through the bastard’s chest. His first name was gift, a show of trust with something that only his master knew. Having it said like this grates against him in all the wrong ways. He doesn’t let his composure slip, however.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he offers, “since you didn’t come back like you said you would.”

His eyes widen as if surprised. (And what sick kind of false surprise is this? Talon would know that he’d come looking after being gone so long. Just how far deep was that vampire in his head? Just what did he do?) “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s go.” He grabs onto Talon’s hand, intent on dragging him out of here if he has too. The farther away they were from this place the better.

“Wait, please,” Talon whispers with a soft tug at his hand. And this situation keeps getting more and more wrong. Talon is strong and stubborn and would damn well never say please, especially at a time like this.

“What?” He growls out, sounding harsher than he had intended.

Talon turns his head back to look at him with half-lidded eyes. “I’ve been wanting to talk with you for a while now, isn’t this as good a time as any?”

No, he wants to say. This is possibly the worst time to talk, ever. But he’s at the disadvantage here. Every fool he cuts down merely gives Vladimir more ammunition, not to mention his hold on Talon. Violence isn’t going to solve this one, and he knows it. Might as well play along and get this over with as fast as possible.

“Fine, just get on with it.”

“Okay,” he pauses to take a breath. “Shieda-

-I love you.


“You know, blue-boy, you could just tell me that your interested in seeing me again. I’m sure we could arrange something a bit more fun than a simple visit.” Kayn taunts with a smirk on his face. They both know it’s true that Talon was here for him, even if the other would never say it out loud.

“I have no need for anything other than a moment,” Talon says offering him a nod in greeting.

“Oh, care to tell me why?” he says as he moved in front of the boy, moving his face far too close to the others for their comfort.

He rolls his eyes, and finally a visual reaction from the boy. He must be making progress in getting under the other’s skin. Glad to see his work pay off.

Talon turns away, shrugging a shoulder at him. “It occurred to me that I did not answer one of your questions, back in our first meeting. Considering you have answered mine since it is only fair I give you an answer now.”

That pulls him up short. “And which question did you not answer?”

“You asked me how long I intended to stay.”

He raises an eyebrow. “And the answer?”

Talon surprises him by fully turning and beginning to walk away. “Longer than I had intended,” he calls over his shoulder before setting off in a sprint.

Kayn lets out an unexpected but genuine laugh before taking off in chase of his… friend? Yeah, friend seems about right.


Oh mother fuck.

Honestly, part of him expected this. The other part of him had hoped for some common decency from that bastard. Really, shit like this was right up his alley. He was probably getting off on this in that weird perverted way of his.

If he hadn’t already promised an introduction between his blade and that bastard’s chest, this guaranteed it.

“Talon, you don’t mean that,” he says far softer than he had intended. “Valdimir’s in your head. He’s just sliding in bullshit now that he’s under your guard.” He lets out a sigh, turning around a pulling Talon in closer, making them nearly chest to chest. “Just leave it. Anything you want to talk about we can talk about later.”

“But…,” Talon starts before dropping his head onto Kayn’s chest. “You don’t feel the same way, do you?” He lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “I should have expected that, shouldn’t I?”

Of fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck.

He knows he should just shut this down now, tell him he’s right and get the hell out of there. Who knows, it’s pretty likely he won’t even remember this conversation later and if he does he can just clear it up then.

But for the first time in what could possibly be his life Kayn may very well ignore all of that and go with the emotions he stuffed down into the dark, deep recesses of his mind.

He’s going to regret this he just knows it.

“That’s…,” he lets out a sigh tilting Talon’s head up to face his. “I do care for you, more than I probably should. But this isn’t the time to talk about that-”

“Then when is the time? We’re never in the same place for more than a day!” His frown turns into a glare, which really looks more like a pout. “Not to mention you spending all that time trying to get some stupid reaction out of me before you leave again.”


“This was a mistake. Thinking I could talk about this with you at all was a mistake. Why did I do this, this was such a stupid idea.”

The longer he talks the more he closes off, his face turning blank and body straightening out ready to push away.

Oh fuck this. Hell, this is probably just what that bastards wants. (He steadily chooses to ignore the fact that he wants this too. Denial has always served him well.)

Kayn rolls his eyes, steadys the nerves he shouldn’t have to steady, places his hands on both sides of Talon’s face and pulls him in for a kiss.


“I’ll admit, I’m curious.” He says from his perch upside down in a tree.

“And stupid, if you believe that position will do anything other than aggravate your body. Are you not supposed to be resting right now?”

“Pfft,” he rolls his eyes, not that his friend can see it. “Trust me when I say I know my body’s limits. Wouldn’t have lasted this long if I didn’t.”

“If you say so.”

Flipping himself back up so he can properly look at Talon, “Anyways, I was curious. Don’t you have anywhere to go rather than here? I’m sure you could have someone to stay with if you tried.”

“Stay with or stay with?”


Talon pauses for a moment before answering almost hesitantly, “No. It is possible I could find someone I could care for like that, but doing so would only end badly. I have many enemies. Anyone who could not handle themselves properly would be killed simply be association.”

“So you really have no one else to spend your time with?”


“Well then, I’ll make sure we have something real interesting to do next time you stop by. After all, if I’m the only one you hang with I better make it memorable, yeah?”

The look Talon sends him is almost pure disdain. Anyone not so used to him would miss the amusement hidden in his eyes.

Kayn purposefully doesn’t think about how good it feels that Talon trusts him to win any fight his enemies might bring to him. Just like he doesn’t think about how much he enjoys that his offer for future meetings isn’t rebuffed.


It takes Talon a moment to respond before he pulls away far enough to wrap his arms around Kayn’s neck to pull him forward into a harder kiss while pushing his body flush up against him.

Kayn’s already wrapped his arms around Talon’s waist before he realizes just what he’s done. He spares a thought to what’s going on around him before deciding to dismiss it. Besides, he has something much more interesting in his arms anyways.

Talon keeps himself pushed up against him as if he moves back for even a moment he’ll be left behind. It’s only because he has too that he pulls back to breath, unconsciously baring his neck in the action. Kayn smirks against his skin, trailing kisses down from his mouth to his throat. At the sound of his whimper Kayn bites down, careful not to break the skin with his sharp teeth, leading to a moan that practically echoes through the room.

“Shieda…,” Talon moans out, and god if that isn’t the best sound he’s ever heard. What he wouldn’t give to have his name said like that over and over again. It’s only when he opens his eyes, mouth still pressing kisses into the shivering boys throat, that it finally breaks through just what he’s doing, and just where he’s doing it.

He practically rips himself away before shaking his head to clear it. Talon, on the other hand, is pouting at him again trying to pull him back down into a kiss.

“No. Stop that,” he says with a flick to Talon’s forehead. In fact…

“Fuck it, fuck this, and I’d say fuck you but not right now…” Following an impulse Kayn lifts up Talon, placing him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. It said something about the state he was in when all he did was let out a whine and go limp. Yeah, he’s getting the hell out of here.

Kicking the door open none too gently, he calls out “Piss off, blood-bastard. Get in my way and I cut you in two, got it?!”

Part of him wants the vampiric dick to show up just for the excuse, but it seemed he knew better.

Kayn makes his way out of the mansion without interruption, and makes plans to burn it down if he ever has to go back.

Good fucking riddance.


“You know that was entirely unnecessary, yes?” a woman sitting in the shadows speaks.

Vladimir offers a shrug, “Maybe so, but this was far more fun, don’t you think? Besides, I’m sure some time soon enough they’ll come back thanking me.”

“If you say so,” she says heading inside of the mansion. “Now come on, we have things to do.”

Vladimir huffs out a laugh. As far as he’s concerned today’s been a great day.