Jungkook doesn't remember how exactly he fell in love with Yoongi.
If there’s something he doesn’t understand it’s how computers and artificial memories work. No matter how much he thinks about it, Jungkook can't comprehend how microchips and wires can know more about himself than he does.
The capacity of his brain to store pieces of his life is nothing compared to archives and archives full of files and information. Pieces of him left getting dust somewhere along with pictures of cats and forgotten lyrics videos, but countless servers don’t hold any meaning if Jungkook can’t scroll up to the first thing he'd said.
Jungkook may not remember their first words to each other but they're buried under other thousand messages anyway, a year of falling in love with a stranger, and that's what Jungkook cherishes the most.
All that matters is that now Jungkook is hopelessly, helplessly in love, and it doesn't feel fake nor artificial; not when his heart shakes and plays his ribcage as if it were a xylophone, pounding loudly just at the mention of Yoongi.
| ok hyung! See you next week :3
Jungkook closes the tab with a fond a smile and he buries his face in the nearest soft surface, a pink bunny cushion he'd received as a valentine's gift from Yoongi.
His mind is a mess, his thoughts don't make any sense. Is he happy? Is he afraid?
Jungkook is everything and nothing all at once, but one thing he knows is that the butterflies in his stomach and the trembling of his hands are the only bittersweet things his body can handle.
Jungkook turns on his back, stares at the ceiling and looks at nothing as he stretches on the bed, but the dumb smile on his face stays there unmoving as he thinks of a summer full of possibilities.
Only a week until Yoongi comes to him; a week that feels longer than a year while the year spent chatting with each other has slipped between his fingers before Jungkook could even realize.
They say time is subjective but to Jungkook time has a mind on its own, a devilish one he may add. Unfortunately or not it never turns back but somehow it always knows when to change its pace, annoying Jungkook and possibly ruining his day.
And because losing himself in the concept of time is not enough Jungkook gets lost in his own worries, even though his brain feels too much like a Schrodinger's box to actually get something of sense out of it.
He doesn't even realize he's singing to himself but the lullaby Yoongi has taught him on a sleepless night comes easily out of his lips, distracting him from turbid thoughts. Jungkook spends time with himself, trying to clear his mind and calm down before he unnecessarily calls Yoongi for the third time in a day, and as poetic as it sounds the birds chirping out of the window put him in a good mood.
His self-analysis gets interrupted however when the door to his room opens abruptly and Hoseok comes in with a bright smile. Jungkook jumps, jolting out of his daydream with an inaudible gasp, and he knows Hoseok knows but he clears his throat and tries to collect himself anyway.
"Hey Jungkookie," Hoseok says as he sits on the bed next to Jungkook. "Me and Jin-hyung are going to the supermarket, you want something?"
Whenever there’s a reason to go out his hyung always insist on going by themselves, saying Jungkook acts too much like a baby when they stop his crazy shopping tendencies (excuse me, five cartons of banana milk are never enough), and Jungkook doesn't really protest. Only shrugs his shoulders when they say they want to let him rest after a day full of work (knows there’s probably something behind it). They know better than him what they have to buy anyway, and even if Jungkook needs a lot of things none of them can be bought in a supermarket. Patience and courage do not come in bundles, and Jungkook shakes his head softly when Hoseok cocks his head to the side.
He has already everything ready for when Yoongi will come visit him; he has organized the whole kit and caboodle in every minimum detail before he even told his hyungs, and he'd been lucky they'd agreed to let Yoongi stay in their house. It's not the most romantic nor practical thing seen Jungkook shares the house with two other people, but Yoongi had seemed happy all the same.
When he hears Hoseok chuckle Jungkook bats his eyes and snaps out of it once again. "Why are you smiling?" Jungkook blushes immediately after, mentally bashing himself for turning to jelly whenever he thinks of Yoongi, and he covers his face hoping Hoseok would leave him alone.
Needless to say, it doesn't happen.
"Ugh you're so cute Jungkookie! Are you thinking of your boyfriend we don't know anything about?" Hoseok coos at him, but there's a tinge of seriousness in his voice that makes Jungkook's skin prickle.
Jungkook immediately sits up. "He's awesome hyung, He's so– cool."
"Doesn't mean he isn't a weirdo."
"He's a university professor! In Japan! No way he's a weirdo," Jungkook huffs frustrated, and he should know Hoseok is only messing with him but he has the physical urge to stand up for Yoongi. "And he's so kind hyung! He compliments my flowers compositions whenever i show him and he plays sonatas on the piano when i can't fall asleep–"
"Right! I already know that!" Hoseok chuckles in defeat, and he ruffles Jungkook's hair to hide a sigh. "I'll admit he seems like an okay guy."
Jungkook huffs. "Only okay?"
"Oh god Jungkook. He's the coolest guy in the world okay?"
This time is Jungkook who chuckles, and he bursts out laughing when Hoseok pushes him back on the bed.
"So apart from your daily need to commend your boyfriend do you need anything else? Something i can buy with banknotes?" Hoseok says behind a smile, and it sounds mocking but Jungkook knows he just likes making him frustrated.
He has to admit he might be the frustrating one though, rumbling about his boyfriend to every corner of the house and despite of that not letting his hyungs know anything about him. He probably doesn't know much about the real Yoongi either but in a week he will, and finally the blurry pixels skype has always provided him will be replaced by a concrete human being.
Who hopefully won't lag when there's bad weather.
"Nope, i don't need anything– no wait, never mind!" Jungkook stops himself mid-sentence. "Can you buy some sticky notes for me?"
Hoseok changes attitude at the mentions of sticky notes, and his lips turn down in the blink of an eye, probably thinking of when he'd bought them for him not too long ago. Jungkook gulps down the lump stuck in his throat and he watches with guilty eyes as Hoseok approaches his desk, following his movements attentively as he scan its messy surface.
"Like this one?" Hoseok says as he picks up a heart shaped note on the desk, and he barely throws a glance at what's written on it, already knowing its content without he even has to guess.
Jungkook doesn't exactly remember what's on it but he knows the elder's inquiring eyes are digging a hole into his forehead because of it, certainly not because of the design of the notes. He has no arguments against it, no way to explain himself however, and he's ready to find an excuse to end the conversation when Hoseok clears his throat.
Jungkook is expecting Hoseok to give him an hour long lecture on why he shouldn’t write things like that, and that’s why he can't hold back a sigh when the elder shakes his head and walks towards the door.
"Okay then, see you in a bit Kookie." He doesn't say anything else. He walks away and gently closes the door as if nothing happened, and like that he's gone; a last shouted goodbye from Seokjin before he's left alone in his room.
Jungkook feels something strange in his stomach but he pushes everything away, concentrating on the thought of Yoongi’s gummy smile.
Now that he’s completely alone he doesn't have anything else to do; a whole evening to him and only himself, and in the absence of his hyungs he resumes his staring at the ceiling.
Images of people dancing in their underwear when no one else is home flash and disappear, leaving a faint trace in the back of his eyes as if he'd looked at something too bright. He's never done that, always preferred singing to himself in the confines of his room rather than slide on the floor and play an invisible guitar, but maybe he's just not used to having the house all for himself. Having not one but two roommates can be kind of challenging, especially if you're all adults who cherish their time for themselves, but Jungkook has grown accustomed to the liveliness and lack of privacy, and by now his hyungs have become part of his own being. The house is boringly empty without them; Jungkook who likes the silence is not used to it anymore when he's in his own home.
He's changed so much since he's met his hyungs. Became who he is now, and even if it meant sacrificing his personal space over and over Jungkook would turn back time and do it again and again.
If he thinks about it he would have never met Yoongi if Jin hadn't key smashed his computer and accidentally clicked on Yoongi's account, and for that and other million things he's grateful to him. So much that "thanks" doesn't have a meaning anymore.
Being alone, by yourself, on your own– these words are all strange concepts in this house, and Jungkook doesn't remember how they feel anymore.
He's learned a lot from his hyungs, first of all to share, and Jungkook would be nothing without them.
But let’s be honest, if by the time Yoongi comes they won't magically disappear then Jungkook is ready to throw their belongings out of the window, his hyungs after them.
Hopefully things will change next week.
Except that time passes slowly when you least want it, and three days later Jungkook is still complaining to Yoongi. Feeling like a month has already gone by.
"Hyung this isn't fair! Why is that time passes so quickly when we talk and you have to go but it goes so slowly when we're apart?"
"Maybe you should talk to me more." Yoongi chuckles, and his figure is dark and blurry on the screen.
Jungkook tries to hide a smile behind a huff but with no success. "Maybe? I spend more time talking to you than thinking to myself hyung."
"Must be why you're always so forgetful then." Yoongi scolds him, and he laughs soundly when Jungkook rolls his eyes. "Your roommates must hate me."
Jungkook immediately buries his face in his hands, and he makes a strangled noise slip past his fingers. "I have sticky notes for that! They don't hate you! They just– they only want to make sure you're not some weirdo who wants to kill me."
"Good thing we're past the catfish phase at least."
"Yoongi i'm saying for real! When you meet them you'll see for yourself how nice they are!"
"Okay, i just want to make sure i won't be talking to some guard dogs." Yoongi says, and he can surely see Jungkook's annoyance even from the low quality pixels. "It feels like i'm going to a trial. Or even worse. Meeting your parents."
Jungkook's mood lifts a bit and he almost lets out a smile, but he stays composed and keeps pouting through his words. "They're not my parents, they just like to look after me."
"I'd like to do that too baby." Yoongi breaths out, gentle, almost too soft for the microphone to capture it.
Jungkook's heart stops. Thumps, jumps backwards and then crashes against his ribs, and it hurts but the pain is so pungently sweet that Jungkook could go into a diabetic coma.
He almost sighs all his love out, but Jungkook ends up looking down in a smile instead, playing with his fingers as his thoughts mix up with the rhythm of his pumping heart. It feels good. "I'd love that."
When he looks up Yoongi is smiling, that gummy smile Jungkook can't get enough of.
"When you come i'll be yours. All yours hyung, and Hoseok hyung won't be able to do anything about it." Jungkook jokes, and it's terribly sweet but Jungkook feels warm. Cozy in the embrace of Yoongi's loving smile.
"God Kook you're so–" Yoongi can't finish his sentence, he shakes his head and laughs, looks at Jungkook as if he'll find a treasure in his eyes. "I really want to kiss you right now."
Jungkook shakes just at the mention of it. He imagines Yoongi's warm lips against his, a romantic kiss written at the end of a tale. He'd wished for that too, countless times before, but now that the thought of Yoongi's warm hands framing his face is closer than it had ever been it feels different. So much better and so much more frustrating than he could have ever imagined.
Jungkook leans forwards, and it's obviously not the same thing, but he lays his lips on the camera and lets out a loud smooching sound, giggling when Yoongi sends a flying kiss back at him before hiding his face on the crook of his arm.
"How much i'd like it to be enough..." Yoongi sighs starry eyed, and Jungkook would have punched his shoulder and kiss him stupid at the same time if he weren't talking to a screen.
"Nothing is ever enough for you. When i kiss you, when i take off my shirt for you, when we–"
Yoongi coughs and adverts his gaze somewhere else, but when Jungkook laughs he turns back to him with a different gaze. "I mean, i can go as far as i can with my imagination but it's still not enough. Not your hands, not your pretty mouth either, when i think about it it's pretty disappointing."
Jungkook blushes, and even though they've already done things in front of the camera he feels his cheeks heating up impossibly warm. "I guess– i guess i can say the same about mine." He stutters, and he'd been the one introducing the topic but he can't hold Yoongi's heavy stare.
It's almost comical and in fact a laughter comes not too much later, bringing away with it every bit of self consciousness left in him, and Jungkook returns the gaze, adds a lip bite to make Yoongi a little more interested. "It spices things up though, don't you think, hyung?"
The way he says it makes Yoongi straighten his back in a heartbeat, and Jungkook would have giggled at him if he weren't feeling butterflies in his stomach. He doesn't know how things have gone from one extreme to the other but he doesn't really care either, he's more interested in the way Yoongi's hand dances around his stomach.
"So if i promise i'll appreciate that to the fullest, will you take off your clothes for me beautiful?"
And from there it really doesn't take much.
It's always strange when they watch each other undress in front of the camera.
Jungkook is shy and at the same time bold enough to feel like a camboy putting up a show, and even if Yoongi's praises feel robotic in his ears Jungkook knows his voice to be so much sweeter when it's not canalized through the speakers of an electronic device. Between lags and static silences it still feels special to Jungkook.
The quality of the video is bad and so is the light, and even if only the shape of Yoongi's body is clear and detailed in contrast to the dark wall of his room, the movements of his hands are unmistakable, making Jungkook follow his rhythm and breathe shakily at the pleasure.
It's dirty, lustful, and Jungkook likes it this way, loves Yoongi's pixeled smirk telling him he's doing amazing.
Somehow it never lasts enough.
It finishes like it always starts, a shy stare, some giggles, heavy breaths and showers of praises, and Jungkook needs a real hug but Yoongi's words are enough to make him jelly against the covers of his bed. It always ends with warm hearts, and Jungkook listens to Yoongi telling him how much he'd loved it, cleans the mess he made thinking of the way Yoongi would take care of him. It's cozy and warm, not as much as it would feel in the other's embrace but it’s enough for now.
Jungkook loves sharing his intimacy with Yoongi, especially thinking of the way all the miles between them can’t stop them, but that’s not all there is to their relationship. Sure, it's a plus, but even now they’re about to meet Jungkook still can't picture the feeling of Yoongi's skin against his.
What gives him goose bumps is Yoongi's lazy voice coming tiredly out of the speakers. "I can't wait to see you bun."
Jungkook blushes at the nickname. "Me too hyung."
“Let’s meet each other under the full moon okay?” Yoongi says, barely a whisper, and Jungkook feels like melting, lulled by Yoongi’s soothing voice.
“Finally we’ll give her some rest after all.” Jungkook jokes, and he’s delighted to see Yoongi’s cheeks rising high on his face. “Three days until we meet hyung.”
Yoongi nods, caresses the screen, probably something stuck on it, but Jungkook likes to think it was meant for him. “Only three.”
Other thousand kisses, a lot of them hidden behind eyes and words, the promise of seeing each other soon.
The call ends and Jungkook sinks in his bed, once again stares at the ceiling with a dumb smile on his face.
This time when one if his hyungs comes in his room he doesn't jolt out of happy dreams, he takes the playful slaps and laughs, feeling content and happy after a long time.
Eventually three days pass.
Jungkook feels jittery standing in front of the arrival gate. His hands move on their own, trembling inside the pockets of his jeans and fiddling with some leftover coins, and he doesn't want to admit it but he's sweating. He wasn't expecting their first meeting to go this way.
He'd put on his best clothes, his favorite perfume and even some make up, but here he is, his shirt sticking annoyingly to his back and his breakfast threatening to come back from his mouth. Jungkook is not one who easily gets nervous; he had a wide smile on his face just that morning as he fixed his appearance in front of the mirror, but now it's all crumpling down as Yoongi’s arrival approaches, and he's anxious, ready to jump all over the place until he dies from exhaustion.
"Kook, do you want to go out?" Seokjin suggests him as he puts a hand on his shoulder. "Take some fresh air?"
Jungkook turns to him and his face is self-explanatory. "Hyung's plane has landed just now, i'm not going to miss it."
He doesn't see Hoseok exchanging a knowing look with Jin but he doesn't need to look at them to feel their apprehension thickening the air around him. He's fine! Just a little nervous but he's happy. He's finally going to meet Yoongi, and even if it doesn't sound real, not even now that he's in the same building as him— well, it is.
It's as if the concept of Yoongi being his boyfriend has only now taken a concrete meaning in his mind: Jungkook has a real boyfriend he's never really seen before, a handsome professor who likes music as much as him and who’s willing to share his summer with two strangers just for the sake of being with Jungkook.
Jungkook will finally be able to kiss him crazy as he’d promised. Forget about loud smooches at the camera.
Thinking about it– What did he do in his past life to be this lucky?
People start coming in, flooding the space between the barriers, and Jungkook pokes his head everywhere he can, swinging left and right and standing on his tiptoes as he tries to spot Yoongi in the sea of people. Minutes pass and the gate becomes less and less crowded but Yoongi is nowhere in sight.
Jungkook feels like crying, he's already halfway to it when Jin frames his face in his hands, squishing his cheeks in hopes to make him smile.
"Don't panic Kook," Hoseok joins, ruffling his hair. "He's probably just waiting for his luggage."
Maybe he's right, Yoongi would never– Jungkook doesn’t even know what he’s going for.
Yoongi is going to stay with Jungkook for three whole months, it'd be stupid to bring only a hand luggage with him, and thinking about Yoongi struggling with his baggage Jungkook sniffles back some of the tears threatening to spill and hints at a smile. He isn't a crybaby, well, Yoongi doesn't know he is at least, so he dries his eyes with the back of his hand and he takes a deep breath, accepting Hoseok's hand rubbing circles on his neck.
It's not much until another bunch of heads comes out from the door in the distance, and Jungkook uses all his self-control not to start jumping on the spot.
He's feeling a million things altogether; he's excited like he's never been before, and maybe it sounds silly but he feels powerful, as if nothing could hurt him, and there's not a trace of worry troubling his thoughts.
"I'm so excited," Jungkook shrieks, dancing around his hyungs. "I can't feel my stomach! He's coming, i think he's–"
Jungkook sees him.
He doesn't hear Jin's words nor does he feel Hoseok's reassuring pats, he only sees Yoongi walking towards him, eyes low as he reads something on his phone.
Jungkook doesn't register his mouth falling open nor his soft gasp for air filling his lungs, but he wouldn't have cared anyway.
Maybe his hyungs chuckle at him and maybe he looks giddy with that dumbfounded expression stuck on his face, but Jungkook doesn't have time to think about it; his brain has blurred out everything that isn't Yoongi, and his lips slowly but steadily stretch in one of the biggest smile he's ever made.
And it's only a second before Yoongi raises his gaze and meets Jungkook's, but Jungkook has time to rewind the scene until he's died a million times, engraving Yoongi's soft features in the back of his mind to return to them whenever he feels like it.
Jungkook smiles and Yoongi smiles back, and as simple as it is Jungkook feels like Yoongi has brought him the greatest gift in the entire world. Yoongi keeps walking, his steps a little more hurried than before, and not for a second the smile on his face falters; it stays there, blinding Jungkook until he feels his eyes starting to fill with tears. Happy tears. He knows he shouldn't cross the line, that he could just act like a normal person and wait for Yoongi to take five more steps, but Jungkook feels too madly in love to stay put.
No one stops his feet from moving one after the other and it only takes a second, a fleeting second before Jungkook makes the decision to jump off the ground and launch himself against Yoongi's body. Not a "hi" leaves their lips, Jungkook doesn't want to waste any time: he doesn’t even let Yoongi open his arms that he's already on him, arms wrapped around his tiny frame and head nuzzled on the crook of his neck.
Yoongi doesn't fight back. He laughs, and the sound is so sweet in Jungkook's ears, so much warmer than he'd imagined that Jungkook leaves every last bit of rationality left in him and lets all the tears flow out of his eyes. Only after his tears reach Yoongi's neck the elder wriggles his arms out of Jungkook's embrace, and he winds them around Jungkook's shoulders before leaving a kiss on top of his head. "Hey hey Kook, it's okay, i'm here baby."
And Jungkook cries a river.
He doesn't get to be embarrassed, not when the pounding of his heart is so strong to cover his noisy thoughts, and the sound is loud in his ears but Yoongi's low humming penetrates his skin until that's all he can think about, and Jungkook basks in the feeling of Yoongi's hands rubbing his back.
"Don't cry." Yoongi whispers, and it's not that easy but Jungkook's joy bubbles over when Yoongi's hand slides on his nape to tangle his fingers between the short locks of hair, and he can't help but break into a squeaky laugh at the gesture.
"Hyung i-i—" Jungkook stutters, and with all that he's feeling he doesn't know what to say. It doesn't matter though because Yoongi chuckles and pulls Jungkook closer, breathing a deep sigh onto his shoulder and nuzzling his nose on his collarbones.
"Oh Kook i didn't expect you to be this big." Yoongi laughs, and Jungkook follows him spontaneously, giggling against his skin.
"I didn't think you were this small either hyung."
It's easy, oh it comes so easy to speak to Yoongi, and Jungkook can’t stop a smile from breaking on Yoongi’s cheek, pressing his face against him before leaning back just that much to lay forehead against forehead.
“I can’t believe you’re finally here hyung…” Jungkook breathes out dreamily, and he chuckles when Yoongi rubs their noses together. “It feels like a dream. The best one I’ve ever had.”
Yoongi takes a step back but he makes sure not to break their contact, framing Jungkook’s face between his hands. “It really does but it’s real and– I much prefer it this way.”
It’s not supposed to be funny but Jungkook bursts out laughing before collapsing on Yoongi’s chest, letting all the pent up stress get out of his body. He grips the other’s shirt as if it were the only thing keeping him from flying away in a bubble of happiness, and he curls on himself under Yoongi’s gentle caresses. The elder looks collected but Jungkook can feel his heart beat as fast as his one, almost as if he had it in the palm of his hands, and Yoongi should act a little crazy too but he lets Jungkook pour everything out without a word of protest. Only gentle strokes and butterfly kisses, and Jungkook doesn’t think he could ever find someone better than him.
This time when they let go of each other the reality comes crushing on their shoulders but not in a bad way: Jungkook looks at Yoongi for the first time since they’ve “met”, really looks at him, and if he loved him before now he straight up wants to marry him.
He’s so beautiful, Jungkook didn’t think he could find Yoongi’s smile more astonishing than he already thought, but when Yoongi flashes him his gummy smile Jungkook involuntarily lets out a sob.
However Yoongi beats him to it. “You’re so pretty bun.”
Jungkook almost whines, lets the nickname swivel in his mind before sighing in the dreamiest way he could have, and he blushes so hard Yoongi notices and makes him even more flustered than he already is.
“Cute.” Yoongi chirps, and Jungkook has to break their eye contact not to start crying once again. His gaze returns on Yoongi pretty soon however when the elder’s hands return on his cheeks, and he leans against them as Yoongi dries the trail of tears. “You’re so cute Jungkook.”
And the way he says it suggests him there’s something more behind it, some more love and inability to express himself. But Jungkook doesn’t mind, he gets it, and he smiles at Yoongi before diving in his arms once again. Yoongi is small, Jungkook is surprised but not disappointed, and his back hurts a little bent like that but Jungkook is biased and he doesn’t think anyone else could top Yoongi’s hugs.
He breathes everything out and he feels lighter than a feather.
Neither of them noticed how time had stopped only for them, but as time starts to flow again all the sounds come flooding back into their ears, and suddenly they’re standing in the middle of the airport surrounded by people looking at them.
Jungkook blushes and clears his throat, sending a sideway glance at Yoongi before covering his face with his hands, and he hates it but some of his usual awkwardness seeps back under his skin. When he uncovers his eyes though Yoongi is still looking at him, and Jungkook feels his heart pump his blood ten times faster than it was before.
Yoongi is beautiful does he know that? Jungkook wants to kiss him until it hurts does he know that? Jungkook has told him countless times before but right now all his words are tied on his tongue, and he hopes his smile can speak for him. As shy as it might be.
Yoongi is so small.
Jungkook chuckles and looks at the older man, at the music professor who makes life harder for so many people but that has brightened Jungkook’s days in the worst of times, and he’s happy. Embarrassed but terribly happy.
He really is lucky.
“Uuh, can we butt in or are we gonna ruin this disney-like scenario?” Seokjin says interrupting Jungkook’s interior monologue about how much he’s willing to sacrifice for Yoongi. Hoseok approaches them and leans on Jin’s shoulder with a frown. “Not to break it to you but I think you just did.”
Jungkook feels like dying as he watches the smug smirks on his hyungs’ faces but the urge to kill them comes close second, and he gets second hand embarrassment from how silly they look. They’re not funny and surely not menacing, and Jungkook doesn’t have any idea of what they have in mind for his boyfriend.
Boyfriend… Jungkook still can’t believe it.
“Seokjin calls Gukkie!”
Jungkook snaps out of it, and he if he can feel the dreamy smile plastered on his face then he probably isn’t the only one who’s noticed, and he coughs away the blush on his cheeks only to become even redder when he catches Yoongi staring at him. At least this time he’s not the only one to look away in shyness.
“J-Jin hyung!” Jungkook huffs, and he doesn’t know what he wants to say by that but language is not on top of his priorities right now. His body works amazingly though, and he doesn’t feel guilty thinking about how much he’d like to push his hyung when he catches him staring down at Yoongi. And he knows it’s part of his “hyungs’ duties” as he’d said himself, but they should’ve believed him ages ago when he’d told them how amazing Yoongi was. There's nothing to worry about.
Yoongi is amazing in fact, and he smiles warmly before greeting the others. “Hello, I think you've already heard of me but– I’m Yoongi, nice to meet you.” He says, and in Jungkook’s eyes he looks like the coolest person in the world. “Thanks for coming here all the way.”
Jungkook sees his hyungs freeze at it and he knows they’ll probably end up loving him more than he does. No wait– Maybe that’s a little too much.
But Yoongi looks classy in his all black outfit and huge luggage at his side, and it’s impossible to resist his charm. He’s so well mannered and his hyungs won’t resist him for long; their thug hyung facade is going to crumple down too soon.
“Nice too meet you too Yoongi.” Hoseok smiles, and it looks genuine. Hoseok would never fake a smile for someone so important to Jungkook.
Jungkook is happy when they all shake hands with bright smiles on their faces, and he looks at Yoongi with love when he turns around looking surprised.
After what feels like an eternity they finally start making their way to the car, and after their first fight over who should carry Yoongi’s luggage Jungkook shakes and almost loses his grip on it when Yoongi comes closer and walks by his side. “I think it went pretty well right?”
Jungkook can’t help but chuckle and he nods happily. “I was worried they’d do something embarrassing but I think they like you already.”
“You’re sure? As in sure? Isn’t one of them like a theater actor?” Yoongi says sending a cryptic look towards Seokjin.
“Yeah but he’s worse than a child at telling lies.” Jungkook whispers, careful not to let his hyung hear him, and as he tries to hold his laugh he lets his heart warm his whole body at their exchange. Yoongi might look intimidating but he’s one of the kindest person Jungkook has ever met, and he’s not afraid to show his fears to Jungkook.
Well, it took some time for that to happen, but meeting in real life is different, and Jungkook appreciates how much Yoongi is trying for him to be comfortable, as he’d feel in one of their skype sessions.
It doesn’t take long to get to the car but Jungkook cherishes every second of it, feels his cheeks heating impossibly warm every time Yoongi brushes their hands together.
It’s obvious he’s doing it on purpose but Jungkook returns the touches even less subtly, and he purposefully hooks his fingers around Yoongi’s hands only to move them away when Yoongi tries to take his hand. Jungkook feels like a kid walking home with his crush but that’s not too far away from the truth in the end.
He smiles, happy as he never thought he could be, and he gasps softly when Yoongi does indeed takes his hand in his, linking their fingers and swinging them back and forth, gently. Jungkook doesn’t dare to look at him but the shy smile on his face doesn’t falter a bit, even if he’s conscious about his clammy hands. Yoongi doesn’t seem to mind.
“Here we are.”
Jungkook breaks out of his little bubble when he sees they’ve arrived in front of Seokjin’s car, and he clears his throat when he notices Hoseok smiling at their joined hands.
Even if it’s big and heavy he’s quick to put Yoongi’s luggage in the trunk, and he goes back to Yoongi’s side in a second, leading him towards the backseats by the hand.
“Kook let him seat at the front, maybe he’s tired.” Seokjin suggests him but Jungkook is already tagging him along.
He doesn’t have time to stop that Yoongi laughs and follows Jungkook inside the car, sitting next to him with easiness. “I don’t mind, i’ll be okay. Even if i'll have to seat next to him.” And he turns around with a mocking smile but he doesn’t let go of Jungkook’s hand even when the others get inside.
Jungkook’s heart may be beating a little too fast, and maybe Yoongi thinks his fingers rubbing circles on the back of his hand are reassuring, but Jungkook is ready to take off and fly into space with how much he’s shaking.
The engine starts and suddenly so does Jungkook’s brain: filling with question and stupid worries.
Silence falls in the car and Jungkook doesn’t know what to do, what to say in the presence of Yoongi. He knows he doesn’t need to prove anything but Jungkook wants to make a good impression on Yoongi; make him fall in love once again maybe.
The quietness isn’t heavy but to Jungkook it is, and he relies on the feeling of Yoongi’s cold hands on his own to clear his mind. For some reason he was expecting them to be warm; Yoongi looks the kind of warmth you long for after a day of work, but his fingertips bring goose bumps to spread on Jungkook’s arms when he focuses on the way they dance on his skin. They feel good, and Jungkook watches every vein bulge from under the pale skin, follows their path until he’s staring at Yoongi’s lithe arms.
He’s so small and thin, Jungkook could crush him in his arms, yet the notion makes him like his hyung even more. He returns to focus on his hands, loving how delicate his skin looks in contrast to his own calloused hands, and in the midst of admiring his silver rings, he doesn’t realize he’s started playing with them.
“Do you like them?” Yoongi asks him, barely a breath breaking on the shell of his ear, and he takes one of them off, offering it to Jungkook before he can even react. “Take it, i have plenty anyway. I’d really like if you had– if you had something mine.”
Jungkook doesn’t move, softly gasps when Yoongi lifts his hand and puts the silver band on his ring finger for him, and he doesn’t find the strength to tell Yoongi he’d prefer to have his hands around him. He stares at the ring with a smile and it looks good there, silver vines wrapping around his fingers, and it’s so polished that Jungkook can see their distorted reflection on its surface.
Yoongi’s words feel better than a thousand rings however, Jungkook’s addiction for shiny things shoved in the back of his mind, buried under Yoongi’s shy confession.
“Thank you.” He whispers, thinks so much more, and Yoongi takes his hand to his lips, kisses every one of his fingers and lingers on his ringed one before fully taking his hand between his own.
“You have really pretty hands baby.” Yoongi whispers kisses on his knuckles, and he looks at Jungkook as if he doesn’t believe what is happening, a gaze so intense Jungkook has to look down and smile timidly between himself.
Somehow he always says what Jungkook has in mind. Jungkook thinks Yoongi has pretty hands, he’s the one admiring Yoongi’s hands, but he doesn’t care if the other is stealing all the compliments. He loves them a bit too much to complain.
Jungkook blushes, chuckles and leaves a soft kiss on Yoongi’s cheek. “The rings look better on yours though.” He chirps, opens his hand and lays his palm against Yoongi’s to compare their size and shape, and he links their fingers once again. He’d stare at their joined hands for the whole day if he could, and he feels a strange kind of turmoil in his guts when Yoongi reciprocates the grip. He doesn’t cry this time, he laughs, and he loves thinking of Yoongi as his boyfriend and not just as someone behind a screen. “Your hands are so big hyung.”
Jungkook didn’t expect Yoongi to be this open about public display of affection but if he’s being honest it doesn’t feel like the others are there with them, and maybe after a year of cleaning screens from fingerprints they’re just desperate to feel each other under the palms of their hands.
Yoongi laughs and pulls Jungkook towards him by their joined hands, and Jungkook doesn’t feel like making any resistance. He falls over Yoongi to where the seatbelt permits him, a soundly giggle filling the air. “All the better to hug you with, my dear.”
And next he knows Jungkook is surrounded by a pair of arms, warm arms keeping him against Yoongi’s body as their laughs resound in the car. He can’t see much with how much he’s laughing; his stomach hurts a little too, and he fakes to put up a fight against Yoongi: wriggling his arms and squirming on his seat only to have an excuse to stay close to him.
It’s warm. Jungkook feels like staying in Yoongi’s embrace until they run out of oxygen, and he hates knowing how much time he’s wasted when he could’ve just been nestled between the other’s arms. A year ago he would have laughed at himself if he’d even thought about falling in love with someone he’d never met, but here he is now: loving Yoongi every second more.
They keep going for a bit and Jungkook doesn’t get to worry if his hyungs are judging them or about how they’re behaving like children during a family trip, he’s enjoying himself too much to stop, and like he’s dreamed for a whole year he’s finally in Yoongi’s embrace.
It’s warmer than he’d imagined, better even if he’s twisting and turning in it, and nothing could ever be better than the feeling of Yoongi’s touch: real, concrete, not just something Jungkook has imagined in front of a screen. Yoongi is real, his laugh, his breath, his ring now on Jungkook’s finger; Yoongi is there with him, and Jungkook feels like he’s forgotten how to act around people, as if he’s learning all over again how to feel someone else’s touch on his skin.
When he’s out of breath Jungkook finds his head nuzzled under Yoongi’s chin, resting on his heaving chest, and Jungkook doesn’t feel like moving. Not when Yoongi clasps his hands together over Jungkook’s sternum and presses him closer. It’s a bit of a hassle considering their seatbelts are in the way, but Jungkook folds himself as much as he can and stays where he is with a dumb smile and red cheeks rising on his face.
“Not to break the fourth wall but I feel like this is too cheesy to be true.”
Jungkook returns to reality, clears his throat and lets out a last chuckle before gently kicking the back of Seokjin’s seat. “The only thing you’re breaking is the mood hyung.”
He sees him rolling his eyes from the rearview mirror and he kicks the seat one more time, until his hyung turns around with an exaggerated expression, eyes wide and nostrils flaring.
“Stop it Kook, I don’t want to die like this.” Hoseok joins, patting Seokjin’s shoulder and backing him up so that his eyes can once again focus on the road in front of him. Just apparently, because then Hoseok turns around and blinks at Jungkook knowingly.
“Romance is dead.” Jungkook blurts out mockingly, and now that he’s joking like he’s always used to he’s almost forgotten Yoongi’s there too. “This is why you’re still single Jin hyung.”
Jungkook feels accomplished when Hoseok can’t help but let out some choked giggles, and he takes pride in Seokjin’s probably angry words muttered under his breath. Even if it seems like he’s the one being laughed at.
Jungkook and Seokjin are always bickering, back and forth until Jungkook gets smacked on the head, and as Hoseok once said in one of his mystic theories about Seokjin, he’s probably lied about being the oldest of them.
Seokjin takes a glance at him through the mirror only to shift his attention to Yoongi. “Be careful or I’ll gladly trade you for your boyfriend.” He smirks devilishly, and he makes a face as if he’s truly thinking about it. “I think it’s better if you return to Yoongi, it looks like he’s going to die if you don’t give him attention.”
“What?” Yoongi snaps out of it at the mention of his name, and when Jungkook turns around (as if he’s only now remembered he’s there too) he coughs softly and lowers his head. “I’m not.”
Jungkook blushes but the more he thinks about Yoongi’s reaction the more he doesn’t resist a hearty chuckle, and he sprawls on Yoongi’s body before searching for his gaze, tilting his head until Yoongi’s eyes are locked on his.
Once again it feels like they’re the only ones in the world.
Jungkook doesn’t think twice before extending his arm towards Yoongi’s face, and he lets Yoongi leans on his palm as Yoongi does the same.
“I didn’t know you were this shy.” And coming from one as Jungkook it shouldn’t have much weight.
But Yoongi hides all the same behind Jungkook’s hand, laughs gently on his skin. “I’m not.” He denies, and he gets closer so that he can whisper. “It’s just that your hyungs are really shameless–“
“I like it.” Jungkook admits, and his heart jumps out of his chest when Yoongi literally stops functioning for a second before laughing and leaving a small kiss on Jungkook’s wrist. “Makes you real.”
There’s another second of silence between them, but then Yoongi is caressing his cheek with a gentle smile stretching his lips.
They get interrupted by Hoseok’s “y’know extroverts exist” but they only end up laughing, scoffing as if he’s said something crazy.
Jungkook likes this. Likes the atmosphere in the car, and he can’t stop smiling, basking in Yoongi’s caresses and blushing under his heavy stare. “I like you hyung.”
Yoongi nods but before he can open his mouth Jungkook keeps going. “I really really like you hyung, I’m happy you’re here– with me.” He looks around, as if the words he’s searching for might be hiding somewhere in the car. “I’ve waited for you to come here for so long and I still can’t believe I’m telling you this face to face.”
He wants to say much more, so much more, but his thoughts are tangling around each other in a messy groove and he can only open and close his mouth like a fish. It’s probably not the place either, he doesn’t want his hyungs to make fun of him until they’ll forget about it.
Yoongi understands however, always does when it comes to Jungkook, and he simply nods again, stroking Jungkook’s little scar on his cheek before leaning forward.
“I like you too, a lot.” He whispers. ”Can I kiss you?”
Jungkook freezes, as if his brain had stopped the blood from pumping in his veins only to avoid answering the question, but he melts immediately when Yoongi cards his fingers through his hair. It’s not that he doesn’t want him to kiss him– he does, more than he’s ever wanted someone to do, but too many things are happening.
He’s so overwhelmed by all that Yoongi is making him feel: he wants everything to be perfect so that when he’s old he can remember it with the same kind of love his grandmother has in her eyes when she tells the story of her first love. Maybe that’s a bit too romantic but Yoongi is already making it perfect.
He waits before speaking, letting Yoongi play with his hair and sighing contentedly at the warmth seeping through his fingers, but it’s hard to sort his thoughts. He wants to be honest with Yoongi but at the same time he doesn’t want to be silly, and before he can find a way to reply Yoongi lets out a deep breath and hums in contemplation.
“Wait hyung! It’s not that I don’t want you to!” Jungkook quickly reassures him, and he shifts so that he’s sitting and facing Yoongi. “I just… I know it sounds stupid but I want it to be a bit– special.”
His mind becomes a mantra of “sounds stupid”, but before he can apologize Yoongi kisses his nose and makes him shut his mouth. “It’s not stupid, it’s okay bun.”
“It is?” A stupid question, but that’s how Jungkook feels right here and now, and he needs Yoongi to tell him one more time.
“It’s okay Kook. I can wait for you.”
And he does.
Jungkook feels bad when night comes around and he still hasn’t found the courage to ask for a kiss. He’s showed him Seoul, his house, his room (overly cleaned and in place just for his arrival), and yet Jungkook doesn’t feel like it’s the right time.
They’re laying in bed, the moon shining clearly against the dark blue of the night sky, and Jungkook can’t stop staring at it. It always makes him feel nostalgic. Of what he doesn’t know.
“Hey, everything okay?” Yoongi’s reassuring voice comes accompanied by a light touch on the back of his hand, and Jungkook turns around to find Yoongi staring at him like he’s looking at the moon. It makes his heart go crazy.
“Yeah I just… really like the moon?” Jungkook says as he turns around in favor of settling next to Yoongi, between his arms, and he laughs when Yoongi hums softly, already half asleep. He’s told him, oh so many times before, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever shut up about it but Yoongi is willing to listen every single time.
It’s strange. They’re the same as they were behind a screen: telling each other even the deepest fears and worries, yet everything is different. “She let us meet so many times right?”
Yoongi nods, leans forward so that he’s nuzzled under Jungkook’s chin. “And now we’re here. Together, for real bun.”
“This is so much better than I could’ve imagined.”
“Yeah.” Yoongi murmurs, and Jungkook feels the vibrations of his throat against his chest.
“Are you tired hyung?” Jungkook asks as he circles his arms around Yoongi’s tiny frame, and somehow he likes it better like this: Yoongi being small and fitting perfectly in his embrace.
“It was only one hour of plane and yet–” Yoongi says as he distances himself from him, and he stretches with a loud yawn only to return one inch from Jungkook’s face. “It feels like I’ve climbed a mountain.”
Jungkook chuckles and he can feel Yoongi’s breath break on his lips, and he readjusts his arms around the other so he can rub their noses together.
Jungkook closes his eyes. “Yeah?”
“I really like your big nose.” Yoongi mumbles sleepily, and Jungkook doesn’t react. Is it even a compliment? He would have scoffed under any other circumstance, but Jungkook’s heart dances in his chest to the rhythm of a heavy metal song, and he lets out a strangled noise at it. “And your big eyes– God I love your big eyes, they’re even better from up close.”
Jungkook opens them and Yoongi is once again staring at him, like he holds the stars in them.
“Your voice? Lovely. And your hands? I don’t even know why I love them so much, they’re so delicate, gentle. I love your smile, your bunny teeth poking out of your lips.” Yoongi blurts out dreamily as if he’d been drinking, and maybe he’s drunk on tiredness. On Jungkook. “Your moles look like stars on your skin, and you know? From the photos you sent me I didn’t even know you have a scar…”
He traces the damaged skin with delicate gestures, leaving a trail of prickling skin to his nose, to his parted lips.
“You’re pretty, so so pretty. Love you Kook-ah.”
Jungkook short circuits. His brain completely stops working for a second, in need of more time to process every word, every expression on Yoongi’s face, but then the next one he’s more awake than he’s ever felt, and his heart is a turmoil of feelings as it pounds against his ribs. So loud.
Does he really need to think about it?
And Yoongi does.
Yoongi closes the distance between them with the sweetest breath, frames Jungkook’s face in his hands and inhales deeply before slotting their mouths together. It tastes a bit like toothpaste but Jungkook pushes back with every intention of enjoying it, slides his lips against Yoongi, first gently and then more insistently, relaxing when the kiss starts tasting like home. It’s slow paced and deep but so pungently sweet that his heart sighs with him.
Hands move on bodies: Yoongi’s, Jungkook’s. Warm touches burn on their skin but leave a trail of love lingering on it.
Yoongi deepens the kiss and traces Jungkook’s lips with his tongue, sucks his bottom lip with his mouth before swirling his tongue around Jungkook’s with a sort of desperation that quite tastes like a “finally”.
Yoongi’s lips are chapped but still soft between Jungkook’s, and his skin faintly smells like cologne, invading Jungkook’s senses and making him lose his mind. It makes Jungkook moan into the kiss, and he breathes shakily into Yoongi’s mouth before he slowly rolls over his body. His fingers tangle into Yoongi’s black locks as he runs his tongue just inside his mouth, nipping at his lower lip and breaking the delicate skin, and Yoongi’s hiss is followed by a mix of light giggles.
The kiss is inebriating but Yoongi’s hands on his body make him feel safe, anchored to the other, and Jungkook concentrates on every little thing he can: on Yoongi’s low moans, the feeling of his soft hair between his fingers, the way he cups his cheeks and keeps him close, so close breathing becomes hard.
Everything is slow and yet so lustful and passionate at the same time, and Jungkook’s mind is clouded by the feeling of Yoongi. Yoongi kissing him until their lungs ache. Yoongi smiling against his mouth. Yoongi kissing his nose.
Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi.
Eventually they have to part but Yoongi makes sure to keep Jungkook close, clasping his hands around his nape and pulling him forward until their foreheads are pressed together. They stop shifting around only when they’re a breath apart, and as they breathe each other’s air they breathe kisses on each other’s lips.
“Was it the right moment?” Yoongi asks softly, and one of his hands moves to brush Jungkook’s hair behind his ear. Lips barely brushing at every word.
Jungkook chuckles, leaves a butterfly kiss on Yoongi’s lips before rolling back on the bed. “It was.”
And it’s true, there’s really no point in lying now: it was perfect.
Yoongi smiles and hugs him one more time, reaches for Jungkook’s hand laying on the pillow between them and runs his fingers lightly over his palm, then moving slowly to his wrist and his inner arm, and Jungkook doesn’t mind the goose bumps rising on his skin.
“I was afraid this was– a bit too rushed.” Jungkook starts, and he sees a flicker of worry in Yoongi’s eyes. “As if everything before this meant so little now that we’re finally in the same bed.” He chuckles, and even if Yoongi has relaxed a little against the pillows, Jungkook gets closer until it’s too warm to breathe. He continues only when Yoongi fails to hide a grin. “But I like you now only because I liked you before, and as cheesy as it sounds it’s been the right moment since you first took a step towards me.”
He doesn’t see Yoongi launching himself on him; he feels a love confession in the form of a tender kiss.
“I’m really happy you decided to comment on every single one of my piano videos.” Yoongi says dreamily, and there’s a wide smile on his lips.
Jungkook moves back to breathe some fresh hair but his cheeks are still scorching. “I wouldn’t have done it if I knew you were a professor!”
“I've just said I’m happy!” Yoongi answers back, and he laughs when Jungkook covers his face in embarrassment. “You were so cute– a florist with countless videos on how to take care of plants encouraging me to keep going because his flowers seemed to like my classical music.”
Jungkook blushes even more as he recalls every moment, all the time spent choosing every word, and a tear slips past his eyelashes when he remembers Yoongi’s first words to him. It all comes back flooding towards him.
“And you commented under one of my videos saying– my flowers had bloomed so prettily, and then you asked me what their favorite piece was.” Jungkook almost sobs, and he puts a hand on his heart as he tries to calm down but it’s so loud Yoongi can probably hear it.
Yoongi laughs, and Jungkook can see his gummy smile and squinted eyes even in the dark, and he doesn’t resist to kiss his cheek as he drowns in the other’s squeaky laughter. “I still don’t know what made me act that way. It’s not— me. I think it was destiny you know?”
“Destiny?” Jungkook asks, and if he thinks about it even one little change could have resulted in them never talking to each other. “Then I think you gotta thank Jin hyung on this one.”
“Yeah, maybe I should.” Yoongi says between chuckles, and he throws his head back on the cushion with the biggest droopy smile Jungkook has ever seen on him.
“For now let’s just sleep okay?” Jungkook suggests as he looks at Yoongi’s relaxing features, and he gives him a quick goodnight kiss before he completely passes out.
It’s new but so familiar at the same time. Home
“Good night hyung.”
Yoongi smiles one last time. “’Night Kook, see you tomorrow.”
Yoongi falls asleep in an instant and Jungkook can’t really blame him. He gently brushes his hair back trying not to disturb him, and he leaves a last whispered kiss on his lips before turning around and putting one of Yoongi’s arms over his side.
When he wakes up the next morning he doesn’t remember if he had good or bad dreams. What matters is that Yoongi sleeping next to him is neither of them. Just a wonderful reality to wake up to.
“What flower is this?”
Jungkook turns around from his roses to see Yoongi standing next to the window, a cigarette between his lips, and somehow he still looks like a dream.
He puts down the homemade blend to keep the bugs away (just a pinch of pepper in the water and your plants will be grateful!) and he walks towards Yoongi to see what he’s referring to, melting when an arm immediately circles around his hips.
He sighs dreamily as he looks at Yoongi’s lashes casting a pretty shadow on his cheeks, and when he comes back to earth he follows the other’s gaze and spots withering petals and one long stem surrounded by green leaves. “Oh, the red one? That’s an amaryllis hyung!”
“An amar– r… yills?” Yoongi stutters, and Jungkook can still see his shy grin when the elder turns the other way. “Never mind.”
Yoongi takes another drag of his cigarette, ignoring Jungkook’s choked giggles, and he turns sideways to look at him, careful not to let the puffs of smoke fly in his direction. Jungkook doesn’t mind however.
“They’re such pretty flowers.” Jungkook says as he leans forward to get a better look.
“They are?” Yoongi asks, looking at Jungkook as if he’d said something crazy, then shifting his gaze towards the wilted flower. “They look more dead than anything.”
Jungkook lets out a small sigh before chuckling, and he turns to Yoongi with an offended expression on his face. “It’s not dead. I can take care of my flowers.” He says before poking Yoongi’s nose. “These flowers just don’t last very long and they don’t always bloom you know? That’s why I find them so beautiful when they do however.”
Yoongi seems to ponder on it for a second but in the end he just shrugs and puts out his cigarette on the ashtray Jungkook had specifically bought for him, opting to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling without a care in the world. “Tell me more about them then.”
He may look nonchalant about it but Jungkook breaks in a smile anyway, knowing just how much Yoongi likes listening to him, about his love for plants, about whatever puts a smile to Jungkook’s face, and he grins widely when Yoongi pats the covers next to him; an invite for cuddles.
Jungkook doesn’t waste a second; he settles next to him, to be more precise he collapses half on top of Yoongi’s body, and he starts playing with his hair as the other wriggles under him, curling the soft locks around his fingers and watching how they tangle on the ring Yoongi has given him.
“Amaryllis bloom in spring but they live such a short life, only last about six weeks and– in summer they’re already gone.” Jungkook explains with a hint of nostalgia in his voice, tracing Yoongi’s profile with his fingertips. “But that’s okay though. Sometimes you need a little more time than others to shine. It could be hard, you may feel shallow and tired, but in the end you’ll make it and paint yourself of bright colors. Who knows, maybe you’ll even brighten someone else’s day.”
He doesn’t notice he’s closed his eyes until he feels Yoongi’s hands softly stroking his face, wiping away a tear caught in his lashes.
“It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay if you don’t always look your best. It’s okay to feel sad just as much as it’s okay to feel as if life is smiling at you. Sometimes– sometimes I really feel like an amaryllis hyung.”
Jungkook could’ve kept talking about the flowers and avoid ugly tears but he knows to have made the right choice when he feels wet kisses being placed on every inch of his skin.
Not everyone is a geranium, colorful and beautiful until its very end, and Jungkook knows not to be that kind of person. He’s one who needs time to accept who he really is, to harvest his own feelings and show them to who truly matters to him.
Yoongi is one of them.
Jungkook curls on himself as Yoongi envelops him in his arms, and he lets out a liberating sigh when hands start rubbing circles on his back; painting him of that bright color Jungkook is trying so hard to reach. He feels safe as he’d never felt in the comfort of someone’s arms, and somehow everything is not as bad as he thought when Yoongi is showering him with love and watching him grow around him like an ivy.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Yoongi whispers, brushing back some strands of hair before leaving a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Tell me why you feel this way?”
Jungkook buries himself in Yoongi’s warmth even more, and it’s too hot for that but Jungkook doesn’t want to look up. “It’s okay hyung, it’s just me.”
“But I really love “just you”; I want to know if you’re hurting.”
Jungkook stops breathing for a second and everything stops all the same.
He’s hurting, in ways himself doesn’t even know about, and he doesn’t know how to reply to Yoongi without lying to himself. Self love comes difficult to him when he feels as bland as a piece of paper, and he needs more– more time to figure out what to do and how to change for the better.
Yoongi makes things a little easier; his love means so much to Jungkook that he’d wither without it, and lately Yoongi’s affection is all that Jungkook has been looking forward to.
But Jungkook stills fight with himself every day, argues with his own thoughts telling him to just stay in bed and wait until there’s no more time left, and he knows it’s a long journey but longing for the day he’ll finally bloom it’s still painful. Painfully long. Almost never ending.
Loving someone sometimes is easier than loving yourself, and who says you can’t love someone without first loving yourself maybe has never truly loved.
“It’s okay, if you want we can just keep cuddling.” Yoongi murmurs on top of his hair, and Jungkook wants to melt against his body and stay frozen in this moment forever. “We can talk about it some other time ‘kay?”
Jungkook keeps silent but Yoongi gently nudges him with his chin, and Jungkook nods weakly. He cheers up soon enough though when he feels the sunrays gently touching his skin, and he’s so used to getting lost in his own thoughts that he doesn’t find it strange when he lifts his head with the purpose of staring at Yoongi.
If it’s the little things that make him happy he might as well search for them in Yoongi.
He reciprocates a smile and he travels his eyes to every little detail he can find on Yoongi’s face: his beauty marks, his pouty lips, his butterfly lashes, and Jungkook knows he’d been extremely lucky to have found Yoongi, knows he has to cherish him until he can.
“I love you too.”
Jungkook smiles one more time, more genuinely and more carefree this time, and he shifts his weight on his forearms so he can lift himself up and lean over Yoongi. He lays gently on top of his body and he kisses every one of his moles as slow as he can, a faint touch of lips that he drags across the skin until Yoongi shivers under him.
“Shouldn’t I be the one kissing you better?” Yoongi asks quietly but his eyes are already shut. A smile stretching his lips.
Jungkook chuckles softly as if he’d ruin the moment if he were just a bit louder, and he traces the outline of Yoongi’s lips with his finger. “What if kissing you makes me feel better?”
“Then you can kiss me for as long as you want.”
Jungkook’s heart gets warmer at Yoongi’s blissed out expression, and he keeps tracing patterns on his skin, Yoongi’s chest lulling him with every breath. He looks at Yoongi as if every seconds mattered, as if he’d forget about him if he closed his eyes, and Yoongi doesn’t look like a renowned music professor as he rests under Jungkook’s gentle attentions; he looks exactly like whom Jungkook wants to wake up next to every morning.
Not a word comes out of Yoongi’s mouth, and Jungkook feels like the world has found its balance as he looks at Yoongi’s delicate features. He frames his face in his hands, cups his cheeks as you’d do with a kid, and only then Yoongi opens his eyes. He looks confused for an instant but then he bursts out laughing immediately after, and Jungkook follows him, lets out some of the weight on his shoulders.
After they’ve calmed down Jungkook locks eyes with Yoongi and he leans forward as slow as he can, closing his eyes when Yoongi’s hands come to rest on his hips. He sighs softly when he feels Yoongi nuzzling their noses together, and he doesn’t know if Yoongi is looking at him, but somehow he knows that the other can feel his smile.
“Tell me something in japanese.” Jungkook whispers on his lips, and when he opens his eyes there’s a wide smile greeting him.
“What do you want me to tell you?” Yoongi whispers back, and he moves his hands on Jungkook’s back, pushing his body against his with gentleness.
Jungkook laughs and moves his head back, just that much to take a fresh intake of air before going back to rest his face against Yoongi’s. “Surprise me hyung.”
Yoongi thinks about it for a second, and Jungkook smiles as he watches Yoongi’s widening grin. “Jungkookちゃんは本当にかわいいですよね。”
Jungkook lets the words swivel in his head before making any sound, and he tries to look passive but in front of Yoongi’s eager face he can’t help but break in a laugh. “Did you just call me Jungkook-chan?
“At least you’re not arguing about the “kawaii” part.” Yoongi retorts, and Jungkook slaps his arm playfully before nuzzling his face in the crook of Yoongi’s neck.
“So you think I’m very cute?”
Yoongi brings a hand to his chin, faking to be lost in deep thoughts, but as soon as Jungkook lifts a hand he flinches and laughs, grasping Jungkook’s wrist before he can hit him once more. “What’s the point if you already know what I’m saying.”
“Oh c’mon! Everyone knows that!” Jungkook whines, and he prompts Yoongi to say something else, resting his chin on top of his chest, feeling restless as Yoongi strokes his air.
After a moment of reflection he finally clears his throat. “ 愛 はただ単に 愛 である。説明なんてできない。” Yoongi breathes with fondness in his voice, and even if Jungkook doesn’t understand a single word his heart somehow does.
Jungkook turns his face so that his cheek is on Yoongi’s chest, and he feels his fast paced heartbeats under his ear, almost as loud as words as they resound in his rib cage. Yoongi doesn’t say anything else; he waits for Jungkook’s reaction, but so does Jungkook, waiting for Yoongi to speak.
“Uuh, you don’t want to know what I’ve said?” Yoongi asks in a small voice, and Jungkook giggles at the way Yoongi wants him to know.
“I heard the word “love” two times, I’m sure it must have been really sweet.” Jungkook guesses as he fiddles with Yoongi’s shirt.
Yoongi hums and he lets the silence fill some more seconds before trying again. “So? Are you trying to guess–“
“You really want me to ask you right?”
“Maybe i– yes, please. Ask me.” Yoongi admits with a smile, and Jungkook wriggles on top of his body to look at him in the eyes.
He keeps silent for some second, messing with Yoongi until he threatens him to push him off the bed, and he kisses away Yoongi’s pout before clearing his throat. “So, Yoongi hyung, what cheesy cliché did you just utter?”
When Yoongi laughs Jungkook shakes with him, and he purrs loudly when Yoongi frames his face and looks at him as if he had all the answers to his questions. Under his heavy stare Jungkook needs to look somewhere else, make the blush go away as fast as he can, but as Yoongi starts stroking the scar on his cheek Jungkook gains more and more confidence, and only when he’s looking straight into his eyes the other starts talking.
“Love is just love. It can’t be explained.” Yoongi says softly, and his hands are even more delicate as they brush over his cheeks. “Jungkook, I love you and believe me– I would have never thought i’d fall in love with a stranger i’ve only talked with on the internet, but that’s what i did for some reason. Maybe it was destiny maybe i just didn’t know myself enough but– even if i don’t know how or why I got here, i’m happy i did.”
Finishing his speech with a gentle kiss on Jungkook’s nose Yoongi smiles sweetly and shakes the younger’s heart with a conglomerate of unknown feelings Jungkook has yet to figure, and when he pulls him flat against his chest Jungkook complies. His heart heavier than his body.
“Did you improvise that? Your sentence didn’t seem that long–” Jungkook’s chance of burying his feelings under the rug gets interrupted when Yoongi flicks him on the forehead, and instead he chooses to bury his face on Yoongi’s chest. “Rude.”
He can barely breathe but he doesn’t miss Yoongi’s deep sigh, feeling as if he’s sinking when his lungs empty everything out, and when he resurfaces Yoongi is looking at him from a weird angle.
“What are you laughing at?” Yoongi jokes before ending up laughing too, and Jungkook breaks in a fit of giggles as he bounces on top of the other’s body.
When he calms down his heart is still beating fast, and Jungkook lifts himself to give Yoongi a quick peck on the lips before sitting up. “I’m afraid I don’t have something this sweet to tell you.”
“Maybe another kiss will do?” Yoongi tilts his head cutely, and Jungkook doesn’t resist him. He bends down to kiss him and stays there as Yoongi slides his lips against Jungkook’s.
Yoongi nods and his gummy smile appears once again to make Jungkook’s heart jump out of his chest. “Mh good, but maybe you just need to add a little more salt instead–“
And Jungkook thinks he does when they end up tangled in the sheets, getting addicted to each other’s tastes as the sun casts a beautiful orangey light on them.
He couldn't be completely sure abou it when he smiled at Yoongi through the camera just a few weeks ago, but now that Yoongi is there to leave butterfly kisses on his body Jungkook thinks Yoongi is exactly what he needs to feel whole again.
Love is not everything there is; it’s not magical nor a miracle, but Yoongi is helping Jungkook without making him feel like there’s a timer, making him feel like maybe he’s worth some happiness.
“Hyung you know I’m really bad with words,” Jungkook starts before sleep takes him away, and he ignores Yoongi’s “that’s not true” as he draws patterns on his back. “I just wanted to say that I love you too and that I’m happy we decided to talk to each other, even if my mother said not to talk with strangers on the internet.”
The sound of giggles almost lulls him to sleep but Jungkook turns around and takes Yoongi’s hands in his, feeling the skin of his back prickle as Yoongi’s warm touch is now gone. “But for real— I wasn’t even looking for a friend and then I found you. Professor or not you’re still the coolest person I know, and nothing can soothe me like your piano does hyung.” Jungkook closes his eyes, and a smile stretches his lips as he thinks of all the times Yoongi has played songs for him at ungodly hours to help him sleep better at night. When he felt like the world was about to fall apart. “You’re so kind and– pretty, shy, and so much more than I could have asked for.”
Nothing is better than the way Yoongi pulls him in a tight embrace, and Jungkook feels his eyes getting heavier and heavier with every second, even if it’s definitely too early to sleep.
“Just be honest with yourself and tell me you love that I’m a professor.” Yoongi jokes with one hand ruffling Jungkook’s hair, and Jungkook nuzzles his face in the crook of his neck to muffle childish giggles. “Because I love having a boyfriend who knows how to say “fuck you” with flowers.”
Images of flowers come and disappear quickly behind his lids, and Jungkook cushions soft chuckles on the pillow, sighing deeply when Yoongi starts playing with his hair.
“What flower do I make you think of?” Yoongi asks just as Jungkook begins to lose consciousness, and Jungkook shifts in his arms to look straight into his eyes, examining him before speaking.
He’s putting all his sleepy efforts into this choice, and only after he’s looked at Yoongi for a whole minute he makes up his mind.
“I was torn between daffodils and lavender, but I think the latter suits you more.” Jungkook explains sleepily, closing his eyes once again and feeling Yoongi smile on top his hair.
Yoongi kisses his forehead. “And what does that mean?”
Jungkook can only chuckle at that, and he tries to mumble an answer out of his lips. “If I tell you it’s not cute anymore.”
“Who told you that.”
“Just– search it for yourself and let’s see what you get from it.”
Yoongi doesn’t look entirely convinced but he notices Jungkook’s efforts to keep his eyes open just for him, and he sighs through a smile before tucking Jungkook under his chin. “Okay baby, I’ll see what you have to tell me.”
“For now can you kiss me goodnight?” Jungkook hums as he nudges the other, and Yoongi complies, kissing him sweetly and slowly. “Wake me up for dinner?”
Yoongi’s laughter feels even better now that sleep has the most of him, and Jungkook knows he’ll have good dreams.
“I’ll do baby bun. Nighty Kook.”
And Jungkook sleeps soundly in Yoongi’s arms. With a big smile on his face.
Wakes up with the scent of food filling his lungs and a snoring Yoongi next to him.
Jungkook almost trips on his own feet in the haste of getting home, and he does indeed trip on his doorstep when he finally makes it.
“Where’s Yoongi hyung?” He asks as he approaches Seokjin and Hoseok behind the kitchen counter, looking around to spot any trace of Yoongi.
After a quick trip to the store (that ended up being longer when he decided he wanted to buy something for Yoongi too), Jungkook feels tired but most of all excited to show Yoongi what he’s bought, and maybe it’s childish but happiness bubbles up in his chest. He was supposed to be back in five minutes with beers and chips for the four of them, but he was distracted by the perfumery next to the convenience store having a sale, and he’s simply lost the concept of time when he found a lavender scented perfume.
Well, it isn’t really a gift for Yoongi, that’s why he added a bath bomb in the list in hopes they could share it anyway, and now that he knows Yoongi’s habit of taking baths he’s never going to let it go.
“Uuh, he’s in your room.” Seokjin tells him as he busies himself with a bowl and whisk, and Hoseok nods silently as he chops a rosy peach.
They look strangely quiet, and it’d be cool if they just weren’t his Jin-hyung and Hobi-hyung, but it’s exactly because they’re them that Jungkook takes a double glance and inspects them from head to toe. As if they were hiding something from him, and maybe they are.
He empties the content of the bag from the convenient store on the table, and even then he gets no reaction nor a complain about the time he’s taken to buy something on the same street as their house.
“Did something happen?” Jungkook asks, knowing full well something is going on when his hyungs share a complicit look only to shift their attention back to him with wide eyes. “Did you two fight?”
Jungkook can’t help but notice their ruffled hair and disheveled shirts, and it wouldn’t be the first time his hyungs have thrown things at each other. It does look a bit strange though, especially the way they’re communicating with their eyes so explicitly but still not letting Jungkook get a single information out of them, and Jungkook doesn’t have time to worry about their antics.
“Whatever, if you need me I’ll be in my room.” He mumbles before walking off to his bedroom, and he doesn’t miss Seokjin’s whispered ‘who’s gonna tell him’, and from there he really doesn’t want to know about it anymore.
When he opens the door to his room Jungkook finds Yoongi sitting on his chair, wiggling around as he looks at something on the desk, and Jungkook skips to him careful not to smash the perfume bottle around.
“Hyung I’m back!” He chirps loudly as he throws himself on Yoongi’s back, and he kisses his head before waiting for him to turn around. “I’ve got us something.”
Jungkook goes to sit on Yoongi’s lap before the other can even react, and he throws his legs at either sides of him so he can straddle him. “Do you like it hyung? It’s lavender.”
The scent is still there on his wrist from when the shop assistant spritzed it on him without a warning notice, and he brings his arm closer to Yoongi’s face, smiling when Yoongi kisses his hand instead. “It smells really good baby.
“I know you don’t like this kind of scent on yourself but—" Jungkook says as he places the bottle under his nose. “But it’d be like having a piece of you when you’re not around anymore.”
Jungkook only has to mention it for his heart to get heavy, and as much as he wants Yoongi to stay with him he knows he’ll be gone sooner or later. The same Yoongi cheers him up, and Jungkook giggles when Yoongi kisses his cheek. “I like it a lot on you. So we can let all the bees know we’re together ‘right?”
Jungkook slaps his arm playfully and he blushes even though all his hyungs do nothing but mock him, laughing when Yoongi tickles him until he’s about to cry.
“Wait hyung! I’ve also bought a–” Jungkook starts excitedly, but he interrupts himself when he sees a piece of yellow paper just behind Yoongi. “Where did you…”
He quickly gets up to pick it up but Yoongi is faster and he turns around to take the paper in his hands, crumpling it in the process.
“T-that’s nothing hyung, you can put it in the trash bin.” Jungkook stutters, and he hates the way he’s trembling under Yoongi’s stare.
Yoongi doesn’t believe him, keeps staring at him as if he’ll crumble down and say the truth. “This is the second one i've found Kook. I'm not— I asked your hyungs what is this all about but they told me they didn’t write this nor the last one, and it’s definitely not what you told me last time.” Yoongi licks his lips, a nervous habit of him, and he looks sideways only to look back at Jungkook with worry in his eyes. “They told me to talk it out with you– Did you write it Kook-ah? Please answer me. I just want to understand what’s going on.”
Jungkook mentally bashes his hyungs but he knows he would’ve had to tell Yoongi in a way or another: he just doesn’t like the idea of Yoongi waiting for him and ambushing him in his own room.
“They’re just sticky notes hyung, they’re not important.” Jungkook tries to shift the attention away from the topic, and he knows it’s useless but he really doesn’t know what else to say. “Neither of them wrote it okay? It was me; it’s just a way to remember what I have to do. It’s what they’re supposed to do. Sticky notes. Sticky. Notes.”
“What do you think I don’t know what a sticky note is Jungkook? Do I look stupid to you?”
It hurts. Jungkook’s heart hurts immensely as Yoongi pierces him with his eyes, and he just can’t look at him without feeling weak. “You said it yourself I’m forgetful! It’s just my way of remembering things!”
“Remembering things?” Yoongi repeats, gets up from his chair to get closer to Jungkook. “And you think it actually works?”
“Yeah, it does work hyung!”
“On making you feel bad about yourself? Sure enough!” Yoongi shouts back, and the others can probably hear them by now. “Don’t you think calling yourself an idiot over and over again for forgetting something is the worst way to handle this? It hurts seeing the way you insult yourself for meaningless things”
Jungkook shifts his weight between his feet as he looks around, anything not to look Yoongi in the eyes, and instead the elder shoves the crumpled piece of paper in front of his face. He tries to move away but Yoongi’s hands follows his movements and Jungkook can only look at the shapeless heart, reading its content with an invisible dagger in chest.
‘note to self you’re not worth anything you have, work double if you have to.’
Tears start to pool in his eyes and soon Jungkook can distinguish one word from another, just a black blurred line in a sea of yellow. His throat burns as does his heart, but his mouth is closed shut not to let ugly sobs get the best of him, and it feels like there’s something weighing heavy on his chest, not letting him breathe and making his limbs dull.
Yoongi is quick to put down the note when he hears a first choked whimper, and soon he’s approaching Jungkook as you’d approach a scared animal, but Jungkook shies away until he hits the bed with the back of knees, and when he falls on it he just can’t contain the tears anymore.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Yoongi mumbles before he sits next to Jungkook, hugging him tightly until the younger relaxes in his hold and hides his face in the crook of his neck. “I don’t want you to be sad, and I know I can’t change things with a magic wand but if you keep doing this to yourself nothing will ever change.”
His caresses help a little but no matter how soothing, Jungkook feels like the building has fallen on him and buried him under a tower of rubble. He keeps crying until he has no more fluids left in his body, and Yoongi keeps him in his arms for all the time Jungkook hides on his shoulder. He sniffles through the last of his tears, and when he wipes his face with the back of his hands Yoongi gets up and goes towards the desk.
“Where do you keep your sticky notes?” Yoongi asks, looking around with a certain kind of haste. Jungkook is reluctant at first, having no idea of what Yoongi wants to do, but he stands up and gets them for him, giving him all his trust when he hands them to Yoongi.
Yoongi takes six heart shaped notes and sticks them on the table, uncapping two pens and giving one to Jungkook. “Write three things you have to remind yourself, nothing bad! And I’ll write something else okay?”
“What’s the point?” Jungkook says looking at the now colorful table, and he really doesn’t want to do it but his voice comes out weak. He can’t do anything against Yoongi.
“Don’t worry baby, I’ll promise it won’t be that bad.”
Jungkook doesn’t exactly feel reassured by it, but he seats on his chair and stares at the papers in front of him with a blank mind. In the meantime Yoongi is scribbling down things quite fast, and by the time he’s finished Jungkook is still thinking about the reason he’s doing this in the first place.
Yoongi sighs but judging from his face he was already expecting things to go this way. “Do you want me to help you?”
“Hyung this is– Do I really have to do this? It looks like a primary school assignment!” Jungkook whines, and maybe he’s the one acting childish but he really isn’t in the right mind to do what Yoongi wants him to.
Getting closer to Jungkook Yoongi caresses his cheek, and he rubs the little scar until Jungkook turns to look at him. “I know it looks stupid but can’t you do that for me? I’m a professor after all right?”
Jungkook only has the strength to slam his head on the table, but when he lifts it up he sends a small smile to Yoongi and finally lays the tip of the pen on the paper. “I need to order topsoil for the flower shop.” He says out loud, and he writes it down without adding anything else, looking at Yoongi to reassure himself.
Before he can shift his attention to the next one though, Yoongi puts one of his own notes under Jungkook’s, and reading them together Jungkook’s heart softens.
‘remember to buy topsoil’
‘you’re the prettiest flower, you can do it.’
Jungkook smiles, smiles wide when Yoongi kisses him softly, and his lips start to tremble once again but that doesn’t stop him from writing something else.
‘remember to buy a real gift for yoongi’ and again Yoongi adds another note. ‘you’re my star, shine bright’
A lonely tear falls down on the blank paper but Jungkook keeps writing, shaky letters appearing on the warm yellow.
‘remember to tell Yoongi you really really really love him’ and this time Yoongi takes a second more, looks at the note with fondness as he leans on Jungkook.
‘love yourself, because I already love you a lot’
It’s inevitable, Jungkook starts crying once again.
Now there’s a huge grin keeping his tears company however, and Jungkook buries himself in Yoongi’s shirt, mixing laughter and whimpers, hugging Yoongi tightly to keep him as close as he can.
“Why did you say it was a joke between you and your hyungs last time?” Yoongi asks softly, and he coddles Jungkook between his arms, touching every inch of skin. “I was really angry at them for the whole day you know?”
Yoongi chuckles, cradling Jungkook’s face in the palm of his hands, and Jungkook looks up at him from where he’s seating with eyes that scream ‘love’. “I didn’t want you to— see me like this— I’m so pathetic.”
A sob escapes him but Yoongi is quick to kiss it away, and he scolds Jungkook with his eyes for what he’s just said. “You’re not Kook. You said it yourself, it’s okay to take your time right? Like an amaryllis.”
Jungkook sniffles and he feels a little bit disgusting, but Yoongi isn’t afraid to kiss him one more time. “Yeah hyung. Just like an amaryllis.”
He smiles and when he gets up he envelops Yoongi in his arms, towering him and pushing him against his body. He’s a little taller so Yoongi ends up being squished under his chin, and Jungkook laughs childishly when Yoongi struggles to get a fresh breath of air.
“You’re so tiny hyung, I like you so much. Can I keep you as a lucky charm?” Jungkook says before laughing, and when Yoongi fakes to be angry with him for calling him small he steps backs to look at him properly, holding his big hands in his.
Looking at Yoongi Jungkook can’t help but feel grateful, and everything he sees is something he loves: Yoongi is beautiful, Yoongi is kind, and most importantly of all Yoongi loves him.
“When you asked me to search for the meaning of lavender I actually ended up looking amaryllis too you know?” Yoongi starts as he plays with Jungkook’s fingers. “Radiant beauty, determination, success after a struggle… you’re my pretty little flower Jungkook.”
Jungkook blushes but his heart has lost three beats in the span of ten seconds. He’d never thought his life would come to this; has he really found his soulmate?
Whatever the answer is Jungkook feels happy like he hasn’t felt in a long time, and Yoongi is the reason of it. He still has a long way to go but with Yoongi next to him it doesn’t feel that bad after all. He can’t let all this luck go to waste.
“Also, amaryllis always have their long green stem, so even when you feel faded remember there’s always something beautiful about you.” Yoongi adds, and he squeezes Jungkook’s hands before going once again towards the desk. Jungkook watches as he takes other sticky notes and scribbles something on them, and when Yoongi comes back to him full of notes Jungkook can’t even react before Yoongi starts sticking them all on his face.
“What are you doing? Hyung!”
It’s pointless however and Jungkook stops flailing around, just smiles through it and lets Yoongi covers his face in yellow hearts as the other’s laughter fills his ears.
Just when he thought he was finished Yoongi pulls him towards the long mirror placed against the wall, and when Jungkook looks in front of him he only sees a yellow head. “What am I supposed to see?”
Yoongi pushes him closer to the mirror, and this time, lifting one note just above his eye, Jungkook sees countless hearts and lots of ‘I love you’s scribbled on his face.
He likes it, Jungkook likes it a lot, and he turns to Yoongi with a big smile. When he launches on him some of the hearts fly away and scatter across the floor, but Jungkook doesn’t really mind when Yoongi is kissing him like that. Love on his lips.
“Promise me you’ll remember these.”
Jungkook nods enthusiastically and he bends down on the ground to collect every single piece of paper, stacking them onto each other and placing them on his nightstand. “I’ll keep them forever hyung.”
The air is sweet around them, tastes like a lazy evening and the start of something beautiful, and Jungkook thinks there’s only one thing missing. He goes over his wardrobe, moving everything around under Yoongi’s curious eyes, and when he sticks his head out of it he has a black case in his arms.
As he sits on the bed Yoongi immediately follows, and he still hasn’t opened it but Yoongi has a warm smile on his face.
“I always played this when I was a kid.” Yoongi recalls when Jungkook hands him the case, and he takes a small electric keyboard out of it.
Jungkook had completely forgotten about it, but the numb gray of the instrument is covered with colorful stickers: stars, little hearts, bunnies and cute flowers bringing some life into it. Yoongi’s smile widens as soon as he sees them, and he touches the stickers as if they could break under his touch.
“Cute. God Jungkook you’re so cute.” Yoongi says in a laugh, and he leans forward to peck Jungkook on the nose before turning on the instrument.
Even after years of being unused there’s still some battery left in it, and Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief when Yoongi plays a note.
“What do you want me to play bun?” Yoongi asks as he plays a short melody to test the keys, and even if it’s an instrument meant for kids Yoongi makes it sound beautiful.
Jungkook thinks about it for some seconds but in reality there’s a song stuck in his head that he wants to listen to again and again, until he gets tired of it. “I was thinking… maybe you can play "clair de lune’”?"
Yoongi first played it when he confessed to Jungkook on a sleepless night, and from there it’s been Jungkook’s favorite, keeping him company whenever he felt sad or lonely. Apparently Yoongi remembers too, and he mouths an ‘I love you’ before positioning his hands on the little keyboard.
The sound is simple and it feels electric when it comes out from the speakers, but Jungkook closes his eyes and listens as Yoongi puts his love in the music, leans on Yoongi’s shoulders as the beautiful melody lulls him into a state of inner peace.
It’s beautiful; Jungkook feels loved with Yoongi next to him playing his favorite song, their song, and if this time a tears slide down his cheek is because is heart is crying from all the joy Yoongi is making him feel. With his eyes closed it almost feels like an out of body experience, but when Jungkook opens his eyes Yoongi is still there, his fingers moving skillfully over the instrument as he leans on Jungkook’s head, and that’s even better than everything Jungkook could imagine.
He doesn’t want it to end, he wants to freeze time and live in the song forever, and even if there’s no moon in the sky Jungkook looks out of the window and pictures the birds singing along to the song.
There’s no moon in the sky but Jungkook thanks her anyway for everything she’s done for them: for letting them meet when they most needed.
Eventually the song ends, and its last note resound in the room before silence completely envelops it. Yoongi next to him is loud however, so loud Jungkook can hear him without he even has to say anything, and if there’s one thing he’s sure of is that Yoongi loves him.
“I love you too hyung.” Jungkook whispers, and the kiss they share is probably the sweetest of them all. Lips on lips, hearts on hearts, love on love.
Yoongi laughs just like Jungkook loves, his gummy smile showing behind squeaky sounds, and he puts a hand on Jungkook’s nape and keeps it there until Jungkook raises an eyebrow.
Yoongi doesn’t even try to suppress a grin. “You still have a yellow heart on your hair.”
Jungkook immediately cards his fingers through his hair, catching the strain piece of paper, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed of but a blush colors his cheeks in pink when Yoongi chuckles.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jungkook asks puffing his cheeks, and he knows he looks anything but menacing but he lives for Yoongi’s smile.
“Yellow really suits you baby bun.”
Jungkook looks down at the yellow note. At the big ‘I love you’ surrounded by hearts in the middle of a bigger one, and that’s exactly how Jungkook feels when he looks at Yoongi.
When Yoongi kisses him and makes him love himself a little bit more.
“You’re lucky I’m in love with you hyung.”